1348, Thursday, 2013-10-31 1 st journal, Mayan day 6 Ix / Jaguar or Shaman

Backwards & Upside-down Beauty

dyashant! "has!ng #nl!ght$nm$nt %ull Mo&!$ '!d$o Journal
I ($$l so t$rr!)ly lost * +on,t g$t m$ -rong . th!s !s a good space to )$ !n* In a -orld o( only good, better, and best , ho- /ould !t )$ oth$r-!s$0 1h, and )$ sur$ to )$ !n 2$art to (ollo- or (lo- -!th th!s on$* 3$ una(ra!d* Nothing can hurt you , my (r!$nds . not th$ r$al you . noth!ng at all* 1n/$ you g$t th$r$, on/$ you $nt$r th!s 4no-!ng 5a)out good, )$tt$r and )$st6 you ar$ fearless * nd -hat that m$ans !s you ha&$ dro77$d most or $&$n all resistance to -hat !s . to 8!($* Th$n /om$s th$ trust . th$ trust !n th$ 4no-!ng that you /annot )$ hurt, )ut !t go$s mu/h (arth$r than that* 9ou )$g!n to s$$ that th$ -hol$ th!ng . )oth th$ stag$ and th$ sho- and th$ a/tors, th$ms$l&$s, ar$ only Love . ar$ /om7os$d o( That* +ro77!ng all r$s!stan/$ . -h!/h m$ans all ($ar . !s r$ally n$/$ssary to atta!n th!s 7$rs7$/t!&$, (or that,s -hat !t !s . a n$- or a &$ry old angl$ o( &!$-* So, )a/4 to -hat,s go!ng on h$r$ . to th!s terribly lost feeling . so -hat,s -!th that, r!ght0 I /an,t say that I 4no-, )ut I sus7$/t that 4no-!ng !s h$r$* +o$s that ma4$ any s$ns$0 :$m$m)$r, th!s !sn,t som$ 7h!loso7hy, th!s !s my d!r$/t $x7$r!$n/$ o( th!ngs . and I don,t as4 th$m to ma4$ s$ns$* ;a&$ that u7 a good -h!l$ ago* It,s a/tually mu/h $as!$r th!s -ay*

So, !( 4no-!ng !s h$r$, th$n !t may /om$ through !n th$ -ords o( th$ journal* That,s )$$n my $x7$r!$n/$, any-ay, so I o7$n to that . to dro77!ng r$s!stan/$ to l$t !t (lo- thru* I don't care, any ore * Th$r$,s a ty7$ o( giving up go!ng on, !ns!d$ . on$ that I trust* I ha&$ many l!($t!m$s as an as/$t!/, as a mon4 !n a /a&$ . a yog!, a nun or mon4 !n /on&$nts, ashrams, and monast$r!$s* 1h y$s, I,&$ mad$ !t my -ay o( l!($ aga!n and aga!n* <ot ha&!ng th$ (ull /onn$/t!on, &!a /ons/!ous m!nd, to thos$ l!($t!m$s, r!ght no- I /an,t say ho- th$y turn$d out* It do$sn,t matt$r, any-ay, s!n/$ !t,s <o- )ut not 2$r$ . so !t,s a(!$ld o( my <o-2$r$* I m$nt!on !t only (or !ts !n(lu$n/$ on -h$r$ I am, today* %or a num)$r o( y$ars that,s larg$ly ho- I,&$ l!&$d th!s l!($ . un/on/$rn$d -!th anyth!ng )ut . -$ll, l$t,s /all !t 2$art* Though th$r$ -$r$ d!(($r$nt -ords (or !t !n thos$ &ar!ous l!&$s, !t amounts to th$ sam$ th!ng . our !nt$rnal /onn$/t!on -!th Sour/$* Som$ y$ars ago, !n th$ m!dst o( th$ pain and (rustrat!on -!th hothat l!m!t$d 5or s$$m$d to l!m!t6 my l!($, I /am$ to a major turn!ng 7o!nt* major d$/!s!on -as mad$ . go!ng (or-ard I -ould ma4$ no ove unl$ss !t or!g!nat$d (rom 2$art* I 4n$- -hat !t -as l!4$ to )$ dan/$d . to not )$ th$ do$r o( a d$$d . and I sought that (or a -ay o( l!($* It -as a good mo&$, I ($$l* +ur!ng th!s -al4 I,&$ l$arn$d many th!ngs, and many th!ngs ha&$ just (all$n a-ay, )$!ng no- o( no /on/$rn* 5"hr!st!an, don,t r$ad !nto su/h stat$m$nts*6 I -as a)l$ to )as!/ally d!s/onn$/t (rom th$ -ays o( so/!$ty . th$ -ays -$ -$r$ all taught to )$ha&$* ll o( that d!dn,t /om$ all at on/$, nor d!d all o( !t /om$ $as!ly* Th$r$ -$r$ som$ rough spots -h$r$ th!s or that s$$m$d to ha&$ mor$ o( a hold on m$ than I,d r$al!=$d, )ut o&$rall !t,s )$$n a good r!d$* Th!s !s -h$r$ most o( th$ breathing space -as atta!n$d )$t-$$n m$ and th$ m!nd* So !n many -ays !t l$t m$ go (r$$ and l$t S7!r!t )$ )orn !n th!s s7a/$* 9$t I /om$ )a/4 to Now!ere . <o-2$r$ -h$r$ th!s lost ($$l!ng a)!d$s, to loo4 at that* Th$r$ !s a giving up go!ng on . y$t aga!n . )ut I -$l/om$ !t* Th!s !s anoth$r turn!ng 7o!nt, !nto -hat I don,t 4no- 5I+>6* I don,t 4no- -hat I -as a(t$r )y th!s l!&!ng mor$ or l$ss as !( !n a

/a&$, go!ng out so s$ldom, )$!ng so s!m7l$ !n l!($* I /an,t say I -as or $&$r ha&$ )$$n r$ally a(t$r anything !n th!s l!($ . anyth!ng )ut oneness with "ource * ?h$n I say g!&!ng u7 I don,t m$an I,&$ /om7l$t$ly /hang$d my str!7$s* 1h no, th$ myst!/ !s st!ll &$ry al!&$, h$r$* 9$t som$th!ng has /hang$d* n $x7$r!m$nt has /om$ to a /los$* I r$al!=$ no- !t,s as !( I,&$ )$$n waiting for so ething . -at/h!ng (or that . )ut (or -hat I+>* It,s so strang$, (r!$nds, ho- -$ /an go y$ars !n 7art!/ular -ays without quite recognizing th!ngs that ar$ so o)&!ous, on/$ th$y ar$ s$$n* @$o7l$ ar$ ama=!ng th!ngs* So I /ons/!ously no- l$t that go* I sto7 -a!t!ng* I( <o-2$r$ !sn,t good $nu( as !t !s, th$n I Au!t* ny sort o( -a!t!ng (or som$th!ng . $&$n som$th!ng un4no-n . ta4$s th$ (o/us o(( o( )$!ng 7ur$ly !n th$ <o-2$r$* It,s (utur$ (o/us$d, so !t,s not good $nough* It,s as !( !t som$ho- g$ntly 7ollut$s th$ <o- mom$nt, !( you g$t my dr!(t* So I g!&$ !t u7* That,s -h$r$ th$ lost ($$l!ng /om$s !n* Som$ho-, $&$n tho !t -as an un4no-n som$th!ng I -as a-a!t!ng, y$t that -a!t!ng -as th$r$, and that,s -hat,s )$!ng surr$nd$r$d r!ght no-* It ($$ls l!4$ disconnecting (rom a moor!ng, (rom an an/hor o( sorts* ;od, l!($ !s so &$ry strang$B In a -ay I,m glad (or th$ strangeness * I( -$ 4n$- all that our ;r$at$r S$l( 4no-s, -$ s!m7ly couldn't 7lay th$s$ 7arts !n 3+* In th$ 7r$s$n/$ o( that 4no-!ng !t just -ouldn,t -or4* <oth!ng /ould )$ any sort o( sur7r!s$ . and noth!ng /ould go -rong* To )$ h$r$, -h$r$ -$ ar$, -$,&$ a//$7t$d som$ o( th$ screwiest beliefs on$ !n S7!r!t /ould !mag!n$ . su/h as )$l!$( !n r!ght and -rong, or that $&!l !s anyth!ng oth$r than th$ a)s$n/$ o( 8!ght, as r$&$al$d )y !t,s s7$ll!ng - C$&!lD !s just Cl!&$D s7$ll$d )a/4-ards . and that t$lls th$ tal$* ?$ /om$ !nto th$s$ (orms to 7lay a drastically li ited version o( -hat -$ truly ar$* ?$ ta4$ on )$l!$(s !n th!ngs su/h as th$ human /on/$7t o( ti e . -h!/h !n our Cr!ght m!ndD or 2!gh$r S$l( -$ 4no- !s just )osh* 9$t -$ do !t (or Joy . go (!gur$, r!ght0 It,s rath$r nuts, )ut th$r$ ya go* +on,t, und$r any /ond!t!ons, $x7$/t to d$$7ly und$rstand anyth!ng h$r$* That -as on$ o( my )!gg$st l$tt!ng-go,s, 7r$&!ously . )$l!$&!ng th!ngs had to ma4$ s$ns$ to m!nd . )$l!$&!ng I had to understand

th!ngs, som$ho-* ?h$n you r$l$as$ that on$, you /an )$g!n to truly soar* Ent!l you do, you don,t s$$ ho- t!ghtly you,r$ ty!ng yours$l( do-n )y r$($rr!ng $&$ryth!ng )a/4 to m!nd, su/h that !( !t do$sn,t ma4$ s$ns$ to m!nd, you turn a-ay (rom !t or don,t ta4$ th$ l$a7, -hat$&$r !t !s* Th$r$,s a natural buoyancy to th$ soul or !nn$r )$!ng or -hat$&$r you l!4$ to /all !t . th$ )$!ng you ar$ that !s S7!r!t* It -ants to soar . that,s just natural to !t* 9$t -$ )!nd and t!$ !t do-n, an/hor!ng !t to th!s and that !d$a or /on/$7t or )$l!$(* 3$l!$( !n t!m$ as any sort o( li it !s a )!g anchor that /an hold us do-n to 3+* Sur$, t!m$ $x!sts, $&$n !n s7!r!t, )ut !t,s not a limit o( any 4!nd* #r$ %ichael Newton , !n h!s !n-d$7th hy7noth$ra7y r$s$ar/h, d!s/o&$r$d that !t,s 7oss!)l$ (or a )$!ng to l!&$ on$ l!($, th$n go and l!&$ th$ n$xt l!($ as th$ on$ prior to th$ l!($ just l!&$d* ;o (!gur$, r!ght0 ?$ll, you,r$ on$ h$/4 o( a lot mor$ o7$n to su/h stu(( on/$ you don't try to (or/$ th!ngs to ma4$ s$ns$ o( a m$ntal sort* 1h, !t ma4$s s$ns$, alr!ght . just not a sort o( s$ns$ r$/ogn!=$d )y th$ m!nd . s$ns$ o( a h!gh$r or !nn$r 4!nd* %ran4ly, just )$!ng l!m!t$d to us!ng words to /ommun!/at$ -ould )$ l!4$ ho))l$s on a ra/$ hors$ to our !nn$r )$!ng* Thus, th$ forgetting !s $&$r so n$/$ssary, and !n so many -ays* <o- that th$ ti e of re e brance , o( awakening !s u7on us, -$ /an $x7$/t to )$ recalling so mu/h o( -ho and -hat -$ truly ar$* It go$s )$tt$r, I,&$ (ound, !( you don,t $x7$/t !t to )$ a m$ntal r$m$m)$r!ng, (or !t,s not* It,s not th$ m!nd that a-a4$ns, !t,s you* 9ou,r$ th$ on$ -ho !s $t$rnal, not th$ m!nd, not th$ )ody* 9$t -$,r$ so tra!n$d, so s/hool$d to run s!m7ly $&$ryth!ng )y th$ m!nd* Just som$th!ng $ls$ to )$ -!ll!ng to r$l$as$* I,m )$g!nn!ng to s$$ s$l( as rath$r l!4$ a heliu balloon . on$ o( thos$ r$ally )!g on$s -!th a hang!ng )as4$t (or r!d$s* 1nly -$,r$ t!$d do-n so (!rmly to th$ $arth )y so many th!ngs . th!ngs that a/t l!4$ )oth sand bags and anchors$ Th$s$ ar$ our s$t o( beliefs s$r&!ng to hold us do-n and ground$d, r!ght -h$r$ -$ ar$* 9$t -$,r$ th$ )alloons . -$,r$ m$ant to (ly (r$$ at l$ast 7art o( th$ t!m$* ?$ don,t )$g!n to do that unt!l -$ do som$ serious letting go, as I sus7$/t all o( you alr$ady 4no-* 8$tt!ng th$ l!ttl$ th!ngs

go !s mor$ l!4$ thro-!ng out th$ sand )ags* It,s h$l7(ul, )ut only !( you,r$ alr$ady a!r)orn$* I( you,r$ st!ll h$a&!ly an/hor$d )y oth$r major )$l!$(s, g$tt!ng r!d o( sand )ags do$sn,t y$t l$t you (loat (r$$* ?h$n -$ /om$ on a t!m$ !n our l!&$s -h$n -$ som$ho- ($$l hug$ly lost , that /an )$ sym7tomat!/ o( cutting an anchor loose . som$th!ng that -$ som$ho- !d$nt!(!$d -!th, that -$ l$t an/hor us to $arth* Thus, th$ lost ($$l!ng* ?hat -$ may not r$al!=$ at th$ t!m$ !s our !n/r$as$d buoyancy * ?$,r$ so (o/us$d on th$ s$$m!ng d!((!/ulty or may)$ on th!ngs s$$m!ng to go -rong !n som$ -ay, that our !n/r$as$d $l$&at!on !sn,t y$t not!/$d* nd th$n, -h$n -$ do not!/$ !t . not!/$ ho- d!(($r$nt !t ($$ls . that may !ns7!r$ or t$m7t us !nto fear , at (!rst* It all s$$ms so &$ry strange * ?$ll, my (r!$nds, l$t,s loo4 at !t th!s -ay . !t,s strang$ to mind, not to us, not to th$ you -ho you r$ally ar$, th$ r$al on$* nd on/$ -$ /an see thru fear that -ay, -$,r$ r$ally s$t* ?$ just 7ull$d u7 anoth$r an/hor -!th that on$ . and !t /om$s (rom th$ )r$ath!ng s7a/$ you d$&$lo7 )$t-$$n you and m!nd* 8o&$ly out/om$, that* So st!ll you don,t 4no- -h$r$ you ar$* 9ou,r$ !n strang$, s$$m!ngly n$- t$rr!tory* 9ou don,t y$t 4no- -hat th$ rul$s ar$, h$r$ . !( th$r$ ar$ any* @$rha7s your )!gg$st ($$l!ng !s just )$!ng lost * ?$ll, that,s o4ay* "an you s!t -!th that, and just let it be 0 "an you a//$7t !t as s!m7ly -hat !s0 9ou /an /hoos$ to do that, !( you l!4$* Th$r$ !s a t$nd$n/y -$,r$ all (am!l!ar -!th to -ant to fi& or i prove things * Th$r$,s noth!ng -rong -!th that, )ut !t,s not som$th!ng -$ ha&$ to a/t on, $!th$r* It,s also som$th!ng -$ /an 'ust look at . just -at/h (or a )!t* ?hat -!ll -$ d!s/o&$r0 That -!ll )$ 7$rsonal to $a/h on$, )ut th$ 7ot$nt!al !s th$r$ to do som$ mor$ s$$!ng thru th!ngs, $go th!ngs, m!nd th!ngs* I ha&$ (ound that increased clarity g$n$rally /om$s o( th!s s$l(-o)s$r&at!on* Th!s !s r$ally an upside down and backwards -orld, at l$ast !n a lot o( -ays* 9ou ha&$ to adm!t th!s -h$n you (!nd that your most lost-($$l!ng t!m$s ar$ r$ally som$ o( th$ best t!m$s o( all* ga!n and $ndl$ssly aga!n, -$ d!s/o&$r that noth!ng !s just as !t a77$ars, nothing is what it see s to be * It,s also Au!t$ !n-joy-a)l$, ma4!ng room (or that, just a//$7t!ng that that,s ho- th!ngs ar$ .

or at l$ast ho- th$y 4$$7 s$$m!ng to )$* I( you,&$ )$$n !n 2$art or /$nt$r$d -h!l$ -!th th!s journal, as th$ -r!t!ng -$nt on you -!ll ha&$ felt things l!ght$n!ng u7 . ($lt th$ sand )ags, and may)$ an an/hor or t-o (all a-ay* That,s h$r$ (or you . only (or you, you,ll -r!t$ !t 7r$/!s$ly your own -ay* My -ords -on,t Au!t$ /arry th$ l!(t that you s$$4, th$ l!(t o( -h!/h you,r$ /a7a)l$* 9ou,ll ha&$ to do !t your o-n -ay* ?$ all do* 1h, -$ /has$ a(t$r th!s on$ and that on$ onl!n$ or !n th$ )oo4stor$s, or at /on($r$n/$s and r$tr$ats* 9ou 4no- -hat -$,r$ loo4!ng (or0 ?$,r$ s$$4!ng som$on$ !n -hom -$ /an s$$ our own e&act reflection . not th$ r$(l$/t!on o( our (orm, )ut o( our "pirit , !nst$ad* ?$ -ant so )adly to (!nd that . so -$ s$$4 !t out, $ndl$ssly . unt!l -$ don,t* Ent!l -$ g!&$ u7 th$ s$ar/h* In $a/h o( th$s$ t$a/h$rs, th$ on$s -$,&$ /hos$n, -$ (!nd som$ 7art o( our o-n ;r$at$r S$l( reflected back to us* ?$ ($$l !t !n th$ resonance -!th th$!r -ords . and y$t !t,s not perfect , som$ho-* 1n$ day -$ -a4$ u7 and r$al!=$ that -$ -!ll n$&$r, no n$&$r, (!nd $xa/tly -hat -$ s$$4 !n som$on$ $ls$ . !n anyon$ $ls$* Ent!l th$n, tho -$,&$ 4$7t turn!ng to 2$art !n so many -ays, -$ ha&$n,t Au!t$ r$&$rs$d our outward focus on l!($* ?$,&$ /ont!nu$d s$$4!ng -hat$&$r !t !s out th$r$* Ent!l th$n -$ d!dn,t r$al!=$, (ully r$al!=$, that !t,s not out th$r$ . !t /an,t 7oss!)ly )$ (ound that -ay . )ut -$ just d!dn,t 4no-* ?$ -$r$ st!ll s$$4!ng, st!ll !n search ode as -$ -al4$d thru our days* ?$ may not ha&$ $&$n r$al!=$d th!s, or at l$ast not /ons/!ously, (or d$$7 -!th!n o( /ours$ -$ 4no-* It,s not unt!l -$ do som$ ore letting go that su/h th!ngs ar$ s$$n* Sur$, -$ g$t a laugh out o( !t 7r$tty mu/h $&$ry t!m$ . a laugh on th$ s$l( . -h$n -$ s$$ just ho- o)&!ous !t !s, ho- !t -as th$r$, !n our (a/$, all along . just not s$$n unt!l no-* (t$r $nu( t!m$s -h$r$ th$ l$tt!ng go )r!ngs on su/h clarity , -$ )$g!n to r$al!=$ th$ d$$7 wisdom !n !t . $&$n tho !t s$$ms totally backwards * (t$r all, ho- !s !t -$ /an )$ $nr!/h$d )y just l$tt!ng th!ngs go0 To m!nd, !t do$sn,t ma4$ s$ns$ 5)ut o( /ours$ F6* It,s )$$n fun , a/tually . 7a!n and all, and all that,s /om$ (rom that* 1h, !t do$sn,t so mu/h ($$l l!4$ (un at the ti e , )ut do$sn,t !t do so -h$n !t,s &!$-$d &!a hindsight 0 I (!nd that !t do$s,

/ons!st$ntly* That,s on$ o( th$ -ays I,&$ )$$n sho-n that everything !s 7$r($/tly o4ay* 2o- /ould !t not )$, -h$n s!m7ly $&$ryth!ng !n h!nds!ght sho-s !ts )$auty to us0 Mor$ and mor$ cutting free and letting go . that,s -hat I -!sh (or all o( you -ho shar$ my d$$7 !nn$r d$s!r$ to )$ (ne with "ource ) consciously * nd I don,t m$an /utt!ng (r$$ o( $arth or o( th$ )ody and l$tt!ng that go, $!th$r* Sur$ly I d!d, on/$ . )ut no mor$* I,&$ (ound that *oy and all that -$ s$$4 !s r$ally right here . r!ght <o- and r!ght 2$r$ . that th$r$,s no n$$d to go anywhere )ut r!ght -h$r$ I m* ga!n, !t,s r$!n(or/$d (or m$, th$ -!sdom o( (nly "elf & Now!ere in !eart . th$ )$auty, th$ /om7l$t$n$ss (ound !n th!s l!ttl$ 7hras$* That t$lls m$ I d!dn,t !n&$nt !t . that !t,s som$th!ng I -as sho-n (rom a d$$7, !nn$r -!sdom th$ m$ /annot /la!m . and that,s (!n$* That,s )$tt$r than (!n$, a/tually* Th!s !n/r$as$d breathing roo !s a h$a&$nly th!ng* It,s also Au!t$ us$(ul (or just lightening up . som$th!ng (rom -h!/h -$ /ould all )$n$(!t* Just a)out -h$r$&$r -$ ar$, -hat$&$r -$,r$ do!ng or th!n4!ng, ta4!ng th$ ad&!/$ to Cjust l!ght$n u7D and ta4$ s$l( and l!($ way less seriously -ould )$ $&$r so h$l7(ul . no matt$r -hat* ?$ all do !t . -$ g$t way too serious -!th th!ngs* ?$ ma4$ mounta!ns out o( mol$ h!lls, not r$al!=!ng at th$ t!m$ that !t,s just a shift in perspective that /ould !mm$d!at$ly /l$ar th!ngs u7* 1h, )ut -!th our nos$ to th$ gr!ndston$ o( l!($, just as -$,&$ )$$n taught, do -$ l!st$n to su/h ad&!/$0 I,ll l$a&$ that on$ u7 to you to ans-$r* It 4!nda &ar!$s, I gu$ss* 3r$ath!ng room . I s$ns$ I,m !n 7ro/$ss o( $x7and!ng out !nto y$t mor$ o( that . and !t,s n!/$* :!ght no-, I don,t $&$n 4no- -h$r$ that lost ($$l!ng -$nt* It,s )$st not to loo4 mu/h to th$ past , (or )a/4 th$n th!ngs just -ouldn,t sh!(t Au!t$ so (ast as th$y ar$ do!ng, no-* I( -$ stay an/hor$d to th!ngs (rom )a/4 th$n, !t just s$r&$s to an/hor us do-n, to hold us )a/4 (rom -hat$&$r )uoyan/y !s a&a!la)l$ !n our <o-2$r$* nd y$t th!s t!m$ my l$tt!ng go -as o( looking to the future to )r!ng som$th!ng . I st!ll 4no- not -hat, )ut I d!d /at/h th$ s$l( out !n th!s (utur$ (o/us!ng* It d!dn,t ($$l &$ry good* M!nd -$ll 4no-s,

)y th!s t!m$ o( l!&!ng -!th m$, that no ult!mat$ solut!ons ar$ $&$r (ound !n $!th$r past or future (o/us, )ut only r!ght h$r$* 9$t m!nd,s ha)!ts run d$$7, don,t th$y0 So -$ /$l$)rat$ th$ <o-2$r$, aga!n and $&$r aga!n* Th$r$,s an ult!mat$ sort o( +eace h$r$ that no -ords /an /on&$y or /onta!n* 3y no- I th!n4 most o( us ha&$ tou/h$d do-n any num)$r o( t!m$s !nto th!s @$a/$, th!s sa/r$d s7a/$ th$r$ -!th!n* ?$ 4no- th$ ($$l o( !t . just not ho- to )r!ng !t a)out at will . as $go -ould so lo&$ to do* Thus, -$ (!nd th$ as7!rants s7$a4!ng to th$ t$a/h$rs, )$moan!ng th$ mom$nt o( a-a4$n!ng that som$ho- C got away D - all th$ -h!l$ not y$t r$al!=!ng that !t,s $go or m!nd tal4!ng, s$$!ng, )$!ng th$r$* @$rha7s that,s $&$n )$$n th$ story (or you* It,s (unny, r$ally, ho- a-a4$n!ng s$$ms to /om$ !n spurts * 2o- &$ry s$ldom !t /om$s all at on/$* #&$n (or som$on$ l!4$ ;autama 3uddha, !t -as the 'ourney that )rought !t . not just on$ 7o-$r(ul $x7$r!$n/$ und$r th$ )o tr$$* 2ad !t not )$$n (or th$ st$7s ta4$n all along h!s -ay, that a-a4$n!ng -ouldn,t ha&$ /om$, /ouldn,t ha&$ /om$* Th$ rough edges ar$ g$n$rally r$mo&$d )$(or$ th$ d$$7$r a-a4$n!ng -!ll a77$ar* So l$t us, $a/h on$, th$n )$ content with our Now . our <o-2$r$* ?!ll you /hoos$ to s$t your sa!l that -ay0 It,s al-ays a&a!la)l$, you 4no- . just a-a!t!ng your 7l$asur$ !n th!ngs* Tho I 4no- th$r$ !s no $nd, as a turn o( 7hras$ I,ll say that, !n th$ $nd, !t turns out that all o( our seeking -as only our resistance , !nst$ad . our r$s!stan/$ to -hat$&$r a77$ar$d, to -hat$&$r !s, !n our <o-* s -$,r$ mo&!ng on !n a-a4$n!ng, all /an s$$ 5-ho ar$ a-a4$n!ng6 that all s$$4!ng -as th$ holding back of awakening , -h!/h -as and !s al-ays th$r$ within , r!ght <o- and r!ght 2$r$* That -h!/h -$ sought, som$ o( us tra&$l!ng th$ -hol$ -orld !n our s$ar/h, -asn,t $&$r (ound Cout th$r$*D ll th$ -h!l$, as -$ !n our outward focus sought !t !n th$ -orld or !n oth$rs or !n 7ra/t!/$s o( th!s or that 4!nd . su/h as !n /a&$s or as mon4s and th$ l!4$ . all th$ -h!l$ That -h!/h -$ sought -a!t$d Au!$tly, !ns!d$* It -as and !s al-ays within * It !s $&$r and only our ! nward focus on th$ <o-2$r$ that )$ars su/h (ru!t* ?$ (!nd that, all along, we were It . -$ -$r$, !n $(($/t and !n r$al!ty, that -h!/h -$ sought*

1h, and -hat good humor$d laughter $ru7ts on th$ s!ght!ng* 2o- s!lly -$ s$$ -$ -$r$ !n all o( that so-s!n/$r$ s$$4!ng, !n all that $((ort to )$/om$ -hat !t turns out -$ alr$ady are* I( you /an,t laugh at that, th$n you -!ll, soon* 8aught$r at s$l( !s a &$ry good s!gn* <ot d$r!s!&$, un4!nd laught$r . not at all* I m$an th$ d$$7, ro)ust, som$t!m$s gut-s7l!tt!ng gr$at humor that a77$ars out o( th$ s$l( that -as oh, so &$ry s$r!ously s$$4!ng !t d!dn,t truly 4no- -hat* Th!s !s th$ laught$r that just $ru7ts . !t do$s you, you don,t do !t* 9$t som$t!m$s !t also /om$s -!th just a -ry sm!l$* 3oth -ays !t ($$ls r$ally good, tho* I gu$ss that ta4!ng th$ s$l( and l!($ far less seriously !s r$ally a good 7r$s/r!7t!on (or a )$tt$r l!($, only not )$tt$r !n th$ t!m$-y$tto-/om$, )ut that -h!/h !s only Now!ere * I don,t (!nd any ans-$rs at all (rom anyth!ng outs!d$ o( th$ Now* 3y )$!ng loyal to just 4$$7 r$turn!ng (o/us to that, th$n th!ngs ar$ sho-n, th$n /lar!ty /om$s* ?$ -on,t al-ays 4no- !n -hat -ays -$,&$ got 7arts o( us su)tly loo4!ng $!th$r to th$ 7ast or th$ (utur$* Th$s$ th!ngs o(t$n must )$ sho-n to us )y l!($, )y oth$rs, )y /!r/umstan/$s or -hat$&$r* Som$ho-, tho, !( -$,r$ o7$n and !( our sa!ls ar$ tr!mm$d !n al!gnm$nt -!th Inn$r S$l(,s gu!dan/$, -$ -!ll always be shown * ?hat,s )rought )$(or$ our ga=$ !s al-ays and $&$r th$ very best possible thing, too . $&$n and 7$rha7s $s7$/!ally -h$n !t s$$ms to hurt* t thos$ mom$nts -h$n !t s$$ms to hurt ost , -$ /an 4no-$,r$ onto so ething r$ally !m7ortant* <o, not th$ th!ng that s$$ms to hurt, )ut -hat,s behind that* ?ho !s th$ CID )$!ng hurt, th$r$0 That,s th$ gr$at 7ot$nt!al o( su/h t!m$s . th$ a)!l!ty to ta4$ a st$7 )a/4 and shift perspective on -hat$&$r !t !s* That,s th$ j$-$l !n th$ /$nt$r o( th$ lotus, !t s$$ms to m$ . th$ g!(t o( gr$at -orth* So do you s$$ ho- !t,s all backwards , som$ho-, aga!n and y$t aga!n0 I,&$ (ound !t to )$ (a!th(ully so, !n th$ )a/4-ards r$alm o( 3+* I than4 Sour/$ that -$,r$ not l!m!t$d to only th$ on$ d!m$ns!on -$ (!nd ours$l&$s !n . to 3+* It !s our ultidi ensionality that /om$s to th$ r$s/u$, (or$&$r o(($r!ng &ary!ng 7$rs7$/t!&$s on th!ngs, su/h that, no matt$r -hat -$,r$

s$$!ng, )y sh!(t!ng th$ angl$ o( our &!$-, !t /an totally 2o- ama=!ng !s that0B <amast$ GHG

orph *

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surr$nd$r or l$t go, ($$l!ng lost, only good )$tt$r I )$st, 1nly S$l( I <o-2$r$, /lar!ty o( &!s!on, )a/4-ards I u7s!d$-do-n, 3+ and d!m$ns!ons, mult!d!m$ns!onal, sto7 s$ar/h!ng, r$turn to <o-, no 7ast or (utur$, laugh at s$l(, l!ght$n u7, h$l!um )alloon, s7!r!t !s )uoyant, Sour/$ ;od or S7!r!t, 1?< )$!ng d!&!n$, -at/h and o)s$r&$, a-a4$n or $nl!ght$n, (l$x!)l$ 7$rs7$/t!&$, l!&$ (rom 2$art, thought I )$l!$(s /r$at$