The How of Happiness

Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

Is It Possible to Become Happier?

Different cultures ha e !ifferent beliefs about the importance of happiness. People in some cultures, like Russia, are less likely to believe that happiness is a reasonable, desirable, or attainable goal to pursue. "ost of us aren#t flourishin$. Nationally representative samples of U.S. adults indicate that slightly more than half of us (5 !" are #moderately mentally healthy yet not flourishing $ that is, %e lack great enthusiasm for life and are not actively and productively engaged %ith the %orld. Stu!ies show that %&' of in!i i!ual !ifferences in happiness are !etermine! by $enes( )&' by life circumstances( an! *&' by our intentional acti ities. +ich people aren#t as happy as we#! e,pect . &he richest 'mericans, those earning more than () million dollars annually, report levels of personal happiness only slightly greater than the office staffs and blue$collar %orkers they employ. "arria$e !oesn#t make us as happy as we think . 'lthough married people are happier than single ones, the effect of marriage on personal happiness is actually *uite small+ for e,ample, in (- countries, .5! of married people and .(! of singles described themselves as #very happy.# Happy people accrue more money . /ne e,ample of such a #happiness benefit# is that those %ho are happy as college freshmen have higher salaries (- years later (%hen they are in their mid$0)s" %ithout an initial %ealth advantage. Happy people fin! -$oo!. marria$e partners. 'nother e,ample of such a #happiness benefit# is that %omen %ho e,press sincere 1oy in their college yearbook photos are relatively more likely to be married by age .2 and more likely to have satisfying marriages at age 5..

How Happy /re 0ou an! 1hy?

"oney brin$s problems to the ery rich. 3n a study of 24. %ell$off adults, more than half reported that %ealth didn5t bring them more happiness, and a third of those %ith assets greater than 6() million said that money bought more problems than it solved.

Happy people think they#re better lookin$ than they are. 7appier people rate themselves as more attractive than do their less happy peers, but ob1ective 1udges cannot tell the difference. Happiness effects of marria$e wear off in 2 years. 3n a landmark study, .5,))) residents of 8est 9ermany and :ast 9ermany, including citi;ens, immigrants, and foreigners, %ere surveyed every year for (5 years. /ver the course of the study, (,2-( individuals got married and stayed married. &he results sho%ed that marriage led to only a .$year boost in happiness. 3ur happiness peaks at a$e 4%. ' ..$year study of about .,))) healthy veterans of 8orld 8ar 33 and the <orean 8ar revealed that life satisfaction increased over the course of these men5s lives, peaked at age -5, and didn5t start significantly declining until age 25.

Practicin$ 5ratitu!e an! Positi e Thinkin$

In the !ays after 67))( $ratitu!e an! sympathy were the most common emotions. 3n the days immediately after September ((, .))(, gratitude %as found to be the second most commonly e,perienced emotion (after sympathy". 3 erthinkin$ -i.e.( rumination. ushers in a host of a! erse conse8uences= 3t sustains or %orsens sadness, fosters negatively$biased thinking, impairs a person5s ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes %ith concentration and initiative. Happy people care less about others# successes . 7appy people are less affected by unfavorable social comparisons (e.g., observing a peer %ho is %orse off" than unhappy ones.

In estin$ in Social 9onnections

Satisfie! an! stable couples are relati ely more likely to i!eali:e each other. The key to a happy marria$e is to respon! appropriately to our partner#s successes. 8hat distinguishes good and poor relationships is not ho% the partners respond to each other5s disappointments and reversals but ho% they respond to good ne%s. Hu$s make people happier. Students at Penn State %ho %ere instructed to give or receive a minimum of five hugs per day over the course of four

%eeks and to record the details became much happier. Students %ho merely recorded their reading activity sho%ed no changes.

Li in$ in the Present

+eminiscin$ benefits ol!er people. &he more time older adults spend reminiscing, the more positive affect and higher morale they report. The practice of repetiti ely replayin$ your happiest life e ents ser es to prolon$ an! reinforce positi e emotions an! make you happier, %hereas systematically analy;ing your happiest life events has the reverse effect. People hi$h in min!fulness ; that is( those who are prone to be min!fully attenti e to the here an! now an! keenly aware of their surroun!in$s ; are mo!els of flourishin$ an! positi e mental health. Stu!ies ha e shown that nostal$ic e,periences spawn positi e feelin$s( reinforce our sense of bein$ lo e! an! protecte!( an! e en boost our self;esteem.

Takin$ 9are of 0our Bo!y an! 0our Soul

+eli$ious people are happier( healthier( an! cope better with trauma. <,ercise lifts !epression just as well as me!ication. >our months of aerobic e,ercise has been found to be 1ust as effective at treating depression as four months of ?oloft, or as a combination of e,ercise and ?oloft. Half of us feel worse( not better( when we e,ercise. 3n one study, participants %ere asked to cycle at -)! of their ma,imum heart rate. /ver the course of 0) minutes, half the participants reported feeling progressively better, and half claimed to feel progressively %orse. Boto, lifts har!;core !epression. &en clinically depressed %omen %hose depressions had not responded to treatment by either drugs or psychotherapy %ere administered @oto, to their fro%n lines. &%o months later, 4 out of the () participants %ere no longer depressed, and the tenth had much improved.

The Hows Behin! Sustainable Happiness

=rien!s triple our chances for keepin$ wei$ht off. Participants undertook a $month$long %eight loss program involving diet, e,ercise, and behavioral changes. /f those %ho embarked on the program alone, 2-! completed it and . ! maintained their %eight losses in full for an entire months. 3n contrast, of those %ho engaged in the %eight loss program %ith three ac*uaintances, friends, or family members, 45! completed it and --! maintained their %eight losses in full. It#s mala!apti e to be too happy. 9ontrary to popular belief( most people who repeate!ly try to kick habits are successful. Schachter found a -0! success rate for self$cure of smoking and obesity, and <lem et al. found that 0! of people %ho had kept off 0) pounds for at least 5 years reported that maintaining the %eight %as easier than losing it.