THE

1993 The Iron Warrior Waterloo, Friday, February 26, 1993

Had cMany
Interviews . ately?
.
Read th.e Opini n P e to see how Co-op could
be McScrewing you!
----,
. ~ ~ \
.JI-1
.. ...
. ,
Section A
In this issue of
the Iron Warrior:
Find out what the
IW Staff likes to
listen to
Ever Wondered
About Copyright
Laws?
Are Quotas the
best available
Emp oyment
Equity?
WEEFSpends
$70,000 and is
Chastised by its
Board of
Directors
Adam Finally
Makes it to
School
Lots of Kim
giving away Free
T-Shirts
A2
Editors
Scott "I Hate Needles' Chandler
Marc "Buy a T-shirt" Risdale
layout Editor
Andrew Chan
Creative Directors
Stephan Waespe
Colin Young
Darkroom Troll
Don McLeod
Advertising
Kim Farwell
Peter de Schulthess
Photos
Adryan Evans
Yarek Niedbala
Layout
Mario Bellabarba
Leigh Boyd
Kyle Corbett
Eugenio DiMira
Cameron Lacy
Scott Hanneson
Wayne Wong
Staff Writers
Chris DeBrusk
Ralph Hoflich
Marc 'I've Gone All Soft" Ouellette
Contributors
Mike Bessuille
Steve Codrington
Jefferson Darrell
Jackie Dragert
Colin Hung
Kim "Free T-shirt' Jones
Todd Malloy
Dave Morton
'Hash' Rizvi
Jason Wood
TIlt Itpn Wtrr\pr II a IonJm lot thought p!OYOI\lng and
Informallv. artie' .. pr .. ent.d blithe aoademlc
community of the Unlve"lty of Waterloo. Vlewe
expllllMd In TIlt Iron WIIIIgr are thole Of the
and do not nee .... rlly I.lleet Ihe oplnlone of the
Englneedng SocIety.
Th. 'ron W.rtlor encouragee .ubmlilione lrom
IlUdenll. II\CUIIl' end Cllher IMIIIbers CII the unlYenl\l
communill'. Submlellone Ihould r.n.ct \he_me
and InteIIeduaI ItanderdI 01 tile untwt'llly In ClllMraI,
and IhouId be IypeWIIIMn on Of MS-OOS 3
112" dlik. The euIhor'l nemt ..... (If llId
pI10M number Ihould be IncIIIded.
.... IUbmi,lIone. un .... Cllherwf .. lUlled. bIoomI
the properly CII TbI 'I!! Wtn1gr wIIIc:h ,...,. the rtgIC
10 r.rule publlcallon 01 milltlil WIIlch 1\ d.eml
unUlable. Dlt Imn Wln1gr allo _ the right \0
edit grammar. spe4Ing end portIone of \ext ,hit do noI
meet unMreIty stlndIIda. AutIIcn wII be !IOIifIed CII en,
majordlangte that may be
to:
.... IUbrrissIone and adYet1IIIng IhOUId be forwwdId
TIlt Imn Wtn!pr
EngInMrIng SociI\y
CPH 1327
UnIYtnIty of WII8fIoo
WIfetIoo. 0nt.I0
N2L3GI
"'-: (5111) 888-4782
FAIl: (Stt) 88H107
...... iwMIoI01302 .
TheIron Warrior is publMed using
D.si
Joint Council
T
his Saturday, Feb 27, the winter 93
Joint Council meeting will be taking
place at Angie's Kitchen in St.
Agatha. This term the meeting will deal
with Eng Soc Finances, A and B society
transition and a monster buffet brunch.
The meeting will be followed by an ICED
TEA P ARIY (This party is open to anyone
whether they attended the meeting or not
See BATCHMAN or Mike Cassin for
details.) The official evening rendezvous for
Joint Council and the TEA PARIY will be
Fed HalL
Bus Push
This is Waterloo Engineering's
opportunity to give something back to the
community in which we live. The local Big
Sisters chapter benefits from the pledges
that we raise at this annual event. Aside
from the opportunity to assist those in need,
the actual event is a great time and it really
helps Waterloo's hnage to the public
Please pick up your pledge sheets and
raise some money for a great cause.
(NB: I would like to restate the
my class:has made)
'XOV (36 Civ) has officially challenged
CCCP (3B Chem) to raising the more
money than us. The losing class will
surrender one member to be taped to the
wall in POETS for the afternoon of the
following Friday."
Christopher Belfry will represent 3B
Chem, Steven 'Combine' Firth will
represent 3B Ovil
CPH the heart of Engineering
CPH should be a focal point for all
engineering students, a place to meet, vote,
check interviews, party, play, congregate
not to mention drink coffee. I feel that if
CPH was emphasized as the heart of
Engineering we could aD. benefit
If every Engineer made one hip per day
to CPH, infonnation could be consistently
spread Bulletin boards in the area would
be more effective, all events, elections,
and other important dates a:ruld
get the publicity that they require, nay
desave.
I am sometimes considered a gullible
person, but... I uroerstaOO that Village One
is modeled after a prison. The rooms are all
spaced out to eliminate communication and
congregation_ Where as this may be
desirable in avoiding prison riots or another
Village 2 Zoo. I feel that the present
configwation of the Engineering buildings
has the same dampening effect on
Engineering.
I would like to suggest two solutions to
the problem, the first involves heavy
equipment and explOSives. The second
suggestion would require a consci.ol5 effort
of all individuah; involved to treat O'H $
the heart of Engineering. If pa;sibIe, Co-op
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
should place all interview listings in CPH,
notEL.
I realize that a shift would involve larger
crowds in the area, but do the crowds deter
the popularity of New York's Time Square,
Toronto's Queen Street West and the Ginza
inTokyo?
Chern Eng Mid Terms
Chern Eng finals are just finishing this
week. To paraphrase the immortal Oi.ff
Gaven "What's up with that?"
Are they called: 'all' tenns, 'most of tenns
or 'prolonged' terms? I realize that
Chemmies can be slow to grasp some
concepts, but do they really require three
quarters of the term to learn the first half?
Do you Chern Eng students prefer the
spaced out examination period? (ed:
Woody is passing because of this!) I am
fortunate (in more ways than one) to be a
Ovil Eng Student We have one week of
midtenns, before the reading break, to test
us on the first half of the material There are
no assignments due and ma;t of our classes
carry on with the second half of the
material. (Our mid terms generally take
place in the tutorial time sloIs.) The week is
not a big deal, with no time for wmecessaxy
stress. When the week is over we have four
days to relax, get caught up or work on
electives_ (The only responsibility is
interviews, see next heading)
Why do I care how the chemmies are
tested? I don't really. However, I feel that
prolonged midtenns are unnecessary,
counter productive and they disrupt the
natural flow of events within Engineering
(&pecia11y Eng Soc).
Reading Break; a Missed
Opportunity for a Real Vacation
This tenn I have been working quite
hard, attempting to on top of my
responsibilities to my education and to Eng
Soc Thi<; has required a six or seven day a
week effort all term The reading break
arrived and I was off to watch some hockey
at Colgate University in Upstate New York.
My week end was cut short as I had to
return for an interview and I forgot to brush
my teeth.
Q. What kind of reading break includes
responsibilities?
A A really shitty one
I understand that a full week off cIasses
would take too much away from the school
term, but could we at least not schedule
interviews for two days?!! Forty eight,
irresponsible, carefree, stress relieving hours
in the middle of the term, is that too much
to ask for?
Senseless Filler
Scott has requested that I spew big
chunks this week. As I wouldn't want to let
down Scott, I will try to beef up this spew
despite the moral dilemma I now face: Do I
write about the unimportant details of my
insignificant life or simply expand upon
what I was originally planning to say?
To quote Augustine (AD. 354430):
"My mind burns to solve this
complicated enigma Oh Lord my God, 0
good Father, for Christ's sake I beseech
Thee, do not shut them off and leave them
impenetrable but let them shine dear for me
in the light of Thy mercy, oh Lord"
Though I have always accepted
Augustine as a role model I feel the
aforementioned passage does nothing to
resolve my personal conflict.
I feel that Plato's Republic offers more
direction with the dialogue between
Socrates and Glaucon concerning Socrates
spew to the people
"By Zeus, Socrates, said Glaucon, do not
stand off as if you have come to the end"
We shall be satisfied if you discuss the
Good in the same fashion as you did justice,
moderation, and the other things." Is that
long enough Scott?
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
A"3
Equity n The Work-Force
Jefferson Darrell
48 Chemical
U
nfortunately we live in a world
full of prejudice. Because of this
prejudice, people discriminate
against various individuals because of
their gender, race, ethnic background,
language, a physical or mental disability,
or even their sexual orientation. These
groups of people, often called
"disadvantaged," may experience
discrimination when looking for work.
Today, either directly or indirectly,
knowingly or unknowingly, we will all be
affected by some fonn of discrimination in
the work world.
To combat any unfair employment
practices the government has proposed a
philosophy known as employment equity.
What is employment equity? According
to Rosalie Abella, (author of, "Defining
Equality in Employment", Royal
Commission Report): "Equity in
employment means that no one is denied
opportunities for reasons that have
nothing to do with inherent ability. It
means equal access free from arbitrary
obstructions. The achievement of equality
in employment depends on a double-
edged approach. The first concerns those
pre-employment conditions that affect
access to employment. The second
concerns those conditions in the workplace
that militate against equal participation in
employment"
Thanks to A1::>el1a. we can surmise that
employment equity begins with education
Education at the elementary, secondary,
post-secondary and even the corporate
levels. Education ensures that these
"disadvantaged" people are qualified for a
position or a promotion. There must be
equal opportunity for all to achieve the
appropriate schooling to help them
advance in their chosen career.
Assuming that an applicant is equally
qualified (in all respects) for employment,
what prevents him or her from being
equally considered during the interview?
Is it discrimination? Who knows?
Speaking from a personal experience: I
was once interviewed for a position (that
the employer obviously felt I was qualified
for, or they would not have granted me an
interview) only to be told that 1 "wasn't
what they were looking for." 1his was ten
minutes after a surprised "OH!" when I
entered the interview room. People will
speculate and state that they've been
victims of discrimination (as 1 have done);
however, dis-crimination in this case is
This Isn't Funny!
AKA: WOODY Spews
Woody
IW Staff
L
ast week I went to see Unidentified
. Human Remains and was very
impressed with the quality of acting
we have in our drama department. The
lead male was portrayed by one of the
funnier live actors I have had the pleasure
of seeing. While we were waiting in line, a
discussion arose about GLLOW and their
interest in the production. In case you
missed it there was a warning on most of
the advertising for the play which
included a line regarding "controversial
lifestyles". Some members of GLLOW
apparently took this personally and
claimed that there was nothing
controversial about being gay or bisexual.
(ed. GUOW claims that thetj have made no
complaints about this production.) The fact
that the warning might have referred to
the drug usage in the script apparently
didn't enter into their minds. To tell you
the truth, it didn't enter into mine either, If
you can't think of one controversy
surrounding sexual orientation in the past
few months, you must have been dead.
And in my opinion, that makes the
lifestyle quite controversial. Whether or
not people need to be warned before
seeing it is another issue entirely, but 1
think its time for GLLOW to wake up and
smell the reality. And as for several people
being upset about the title (in light of
recent campus events), I understand, but
don't ask the drama department to cancel
the production they have been working on
for several months.
I guess the biggest thing around campus
this month is the cancellation of the dance
department and attrition all around. 1
must admit, I was one of the many
students with limited exposure to the
dance department and had no idea until
recently that its actually quite an important
program. It is one of the more
distinguished dance programs and there's
not another one quite like it in Canada. It
would definitely be regrettable if this
degree were not offered at Waterloo in the
future. I find it appalling that we can't
come up with the funding to keep and
improve all the programs we have at this
school. Especially since I heard all the
farulty needs is another $l00,<XX) annually,
while the FEDS are building a new student
life centre for ... ready? 6.6 MILLION
DOLLARS! What's up with that? I
thought there must be a mistake, but I
looked again and those were the only
nwnbers I could find about both matters. I
personally wouldn't mind putting the
rather extravagant building on hold for a
while after considering that the interest
from 1/3 of this money alone could likely
keep the dance program going. Anyway,
I'm sure the powers at work around here
know what's best for everyone (there's a
first time for everything). What would the
kids of FAME! do if their school was being
closed?
I recently looked into the door locking
policy on campus, thinking that UW
security was just made up of a bunch of
frustrated rude people with no
compassion to speak of. Well, I won't say I
was wrong, but I will say this: The policy
is controlled by our Dean and security only
does what he requests. I think we've all
seen that if a person wants to gain enhance
to a building for illegal purposes
(vandalism, theft) then they won't think
too long about breaking a window. Can
you imagine the energy that's wasted in
the winter because of this policy? In the
difficult to prove and results in
employment inequity.
Some organizations have decided to
remedy the employment inequity
experienced by many "disadvantaged"
groups by implementing a program
known as quota hiring. Quota hiring
involves either mandates set internally by
a company to hire 'x: number of women,
visible minorities, Francophones etc., or
government imposed quotas to hire a
certain percentage of people from various
"disadvantaged" groups. Conrad Wino,
(from the Department of Political Science
at Carleton University, author of
"Affirmative Action and Visible
Minorities: Eight Premises in Quest of
Evidence," Canadian Public Policy) feels
that "Quota hiring raises more complex
ethical, empirical, and political issues.
Quota hiring is more likely to cause a
public stir than other compensatory or
preferential actions because quota hiring
entails the definite transfer of measurable
benefits."
There is truth in Winn's statements.
Quota hiring is definitely an extremely
controversial issue, which parallels Francis
Hutcheson's statement; 'Wisdom denotes
the pursuing of the best ends by the best
means." Many tend to agree with Winn,
four door entrance outside E2-1302, there
is a large heater which, when the doors are
locked, is constantly blowing hot air into a
very small area. Because some student
had to go to the store or their locker and
didn't want to be locked out when they
came back, they jam1:n e oor 0 n
with newspapeis(I knew the
usefulO. Why? I would imagine that the
money saved from having a 24 hour open
door policy would be enough to keep the
dance department alive. Maybe I'm crazy.
Think about it.
And here we are, a couple more things I
wanted to get off my chest. How come
OOAP gives you x thousands of dollars but
before they give it to you, you have to give
them a cheque for 4% of the total.
Couldn't they just deduct it? Or just give
you less in the first place?
quota hiring is not a perfect solution. It
denies opportunities to some individuals,
which goes against the premise of equal
opportunity.
I also agree, quota hiring is not a perfect
solution. However, it is the best means
presented to date to help reach an end to
disaimination in the work world. Section
15 of the Canadian Owter of Rights and
Freedoms protects every individual's right
to equality without discrimination Every
individuals' legal right for equality and
equal opportunity is protected by
Canadian law. True, everyone in Cc1.nada
does have an equal opportunity; but does
everyone in Canada have equal access!
How many people are told after a rushed
ten minute interview that "they aren't
what the company is looking for''?
Quota hiring is the best short term
solution that has been presented to date to
help break invisible barriers preventing
many "disadvantaged" people from
advancing in the work world. Until we
reach a time when phrases such as: "Jane
Doe, the first woman CEO," or "John
Smith, the first Black President/' are no
longer front page news, we will have no
need for or even an understanding of
employment equity and more specifically
quota hiring.
And one last thing. I was U1inki.ng for
some reason about an old nursery rhyme
and couldn't figure it out Maybe you can
help me:
Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wif and couldn't keep her;
PutlierftrafJi'ft.Jcw ....
And there he kept her very well.
n 80m !On' please It'll tnl' what this
means? Wns his wife running away or
lceping around? So h was forct>d to lock
h r up and n v'r 1 t her out? Is there a
moral or som thing? 1 always thought
there was a m ml to nursery rhymes, but I
can't see a real one here. If your wife is
unfaithful, lock her in the cellar? Who
wrote this thing, anyway?
MAGNottA
110 CIDERMILL AVE.
VAUGHAN, ONTARIO L4K 4L9
(416) 738-WINE
(800) 461-WINE
AGENT: KELLY GREEN
For Ordering & Delivery
to your home or business
(705) 445-5112 (BUS)
(519) 599-3575
A4
Colin Hung
38 Mechanical

AIlo! Welcome to third

episode of the soon-to-be-
yndicated Trez Spew. There's
really not much to talk about this week
other than the fact that I'm up to my
eyeballs in paperwork But my classmates
are sick of hearing me bitch and complain
so I'll shut up and stick to business.
There are only a few things to note. If
you or your club wishes to receive some
funding from the Engineering Society you
MUsr HAND IN A PROPOSAL to me
before the next council meeting. If you do
not then don't expect to receive any. If you
have any questions or are tmable to meet
this deadline ... too bad (but come talk to me
anyway). You can leave the proposals in
my basket, with or with Oteryl You can
J.2
last the money is spent!! The
culmination of 12 months effort

the WEEF Board of Directors voted to
approve the funding decision of the
Funding CounciL Winter 1993. The WEEF
executives of both streams have been
working hard to solicit propooals, organize
presentations and coordinate the voting
procedures required. Special thanks to
Peter, Bill, Andrew, Roland, Tyrone, Ueh
and of course our irreplaceable Cheryl,
also to everyone else who helped along the
way.
It is satisfying to see the Erdowment finally
beginning to make a significant impact on
university furdmg. 1re projeded budget of
the WEEF ic; now aIma;t half of the Dean's
capital equipment budget! Tell that to the
The Executive Page
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
even E-mail it to
(CHUNGMEOiANICAL).
me Kim Jones
3A Chemical
We have just got in some new novelties,
please buy them. A new gJass mug with
the engineering logo on it, please buy
them. More coffee mugs, please buy them.
Bus Push T-shirts, please buy them. Plus
all the old favourites: toques, shirts, hoods,
stickers and pins ... please buy them.
Getting the message?
Well that's all for now, but before I close
the show, I'd like to thank the Social
Directors (Liz and Irit) for a great job of
organizing the ski trip to blue mountain.
All the tickets were sold and as everyone
knows by now, anything that breaks even
makes me happy. Thanks guys.
See you in 14 days.
next person who says their $75 V&:. isn't
making a differe.oce! When professors and
depu1ment heads anne to the students for
b!lp ask them row
it doesn't have any effect! Y 00 get my pOOU.
Anyways, the presera! of the Endowment.is
becoming elt in mgireering.
As the finandal situation atunivasities and
colleges continues to get worse, it is
reassuring to know the WEEF is at least
providing some positive input. The
Endowment was never inlendro to act as a
substitute for normal funding, but as
sucx:e;Sve provincial governments continue
to cut past secondary budgets, alternative
sources of funds such as the WEEF are
bemming mxe and mxe important. As the
University of Waterloo strives fa' exreIJence
in its Engineering program, the WEEF is
becoming a complementary part of the
proo!SS. Of 00UISe roo cannot equate rroney
and quality, but imlfficient fuOOs cannot 1md
anywhere but to
mediocrity. The
Endowment gives a way
TI
is a very busy time in the term
. (although, when isn't it really?).
There are conferences, charity
events, inter-faculty and university bashes,
and high school initiatives.
First, though, I'd like to mention
something that landed in my box last
week. The Canadian government has
launched a new program to honour
outstanding elementary and secondary
school teachers who have had a significant
impact on student performance and
interest in science, technology and
mathematics. A total of $585 (0) will be
offered each year in awards. If you feel
you have had a teacher who would
qualify for such an award, please don't
hesitate to nominate them. The deadline
for this year is April 30th. I can give you
more infoxmation if you're interested. It is
important to recognize and encourage
such efforts. .
On the subject of encouraging high
school students to pursue a career in math
and science, the Engineering Society has
several upcoming events. The Shadow
program, in which high school students
follow an engineering student for a day, is
fast approaching. The students will be at
the university on March 3rd and 4th, so
please be welcoming.
Explorations is in its third year, and ever
more popular. It is an event for grade five
to eight students and their parents. They
are exposed to interesting and relevant
displays which illuminate the possibilities
available in the engineering profession
Last year between 2SOO and 3CXX) people
attended, and application forms are
already pouring in for this year. We need
about fifty student tour guides to take
groups around to the displays.
Explorations will take place on Saturday,
March 13th. It should be a good time, and
those who volunteer as guides get a free
(very cool) T-shirt and lunch.
Campus Day is three days later -
Tuesday, March 16 - for which tour guides
are also needed. AU grade thirteen
students who applied to the university are
invited to come check out the campus and
take tours of areas of interest. If you
always wanted to find out what projects
are happening in your department, if you
want to encourage students to come here,
or if you just want the free T-shirt, sign up
now!
On March 11 th, the Social Directors are
running a joint Engineering I Kin pub at
Fed HalL Universities from across the
country have been invited to attend, and
although University of Calgary sent their
regrets, Guelph at least have indicated
their interest Show them an how to party.
The National Festival of Engineering is
the week of March 8th to 14th.
Engineering organizations across the
country are holding events which promote
engineering to the general public. For
example, local industry in cooperation
with the university has created a series of
exhibits which will be on display in a local
mall. This concerted effort is an important
step toward recognition
The Ontario Engineering Competition
(OEC) is this weekend (February 26th-
28th) and is being hosted by the University
of Toronto.
An intrepid four student team of
Waterloo engineers went to remote
Windsor (the armpit of Ontario)(ed. the
other annpit is Port Elgin) from February 5th
- 7th to exhibit their social and athletic
skills at ESSCOlympics. The event
promotes friendly competition between
the thirteen engineering schools in
Ontario, and Waterloo achieved an
awesome third place finish. The rather
unusual trophy is on display in the Orifice.
Also, mast excellent ESSCO T-shirts are for
sale in the Orifice which have all the logos
and mascots of the member schools (the
TOOL is right at the front).
,...-----, tochangeoorsituation
Also on March 13th is the Bus Push for
Big Sisters, which should be an event of
incredible magnitude. The fundraising
goal is $7500. Several cJasses have already
challenged each other to see who can
make the most money. Let's see if we can
have a record turnout for a really fun
event, and show the community that
engineers are people too. (ed. Whnt, 110 free
t-shirts?)
Finally, Waterloo hosted the Canadian
Society for Oternical Engineering (CSChE)
National Student Conference from
February 7th to 10th. The Organizing
Committee welcomed Chern. Eng.
students from across the country and
Waterloo to a successful three days of
speakers, student paper presentations,
industrial tours and parties.
Since others will not or
cannot, we must help
ourselves.
Th-th-th-that's all folks! (Back to
studying for midterms ... )
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
WEEFPAGE
AS
WEEF Spends Big
Cash!
WEEFMorton
A
fier quietly hoarding money away for 12 months, the WEEP has come out
in the open and spent over $70 000. The Funding Council, which
includes a representative from your class saw presentations and
reviewed proposals for spending on new lab equipment, student projects,
computers and more. This funding decision was approved at a subsequent Board
of Directors meeting. (see article below) From a total budget of $72 000, the
following items were funded:
Digital Photo Spectrometers (Chem lab)
Chemical Process Design Software
Civil Lab Equipment
$4295
$4000
$10000
$6389
$97
$3110
$1800
$12547
$3000
$4600
$14970
$1000
$5000
$1000
Laser Printer (Electrical lab )
IEEE Modem
Formulae SAE Team
Mini-Baja Team
WA TST AR Telnet Computers
WA TST AR Hard Disk
Unwantads on WATSTAR
Vertical Milling Machine (student shop)
Iron Warrior Laser Printer
Midnight Sun
Engineering Journal Fund
This was the fourth time the Endowment has allocated money, and the effect
keeps getting bigger. When spending for this semester is complete, the WEEF
will have spent over $150 000 in its brief history. Since the first donation was
received three years ago, the Endowment has grown to over 1 million dollars,
almost entirely as a result of student donations. Since the principal is never spent,
the WEEF continues to grow, producing more and more investment income: over
$100 OOOprojected for the next fiscal year. The Endowment's sources of revenue
are also expanding, as some of the Employer Matching companies come on line.
The graduating students will be making their Plummer's Pledges soon also.
The WEEF plans to allocate funds this summer also, as our spending process
To take advantage of a University policy which allows us to
spend mooey at the beginning of the year, instead ot at the end, we will be
looking for proposals again soon. If you have any ideas on further spending,
write a proposal to better your education. See the WEEF office for proposal
guidelines. Please note that all proposals on the voting ballot which did not
receive funds will be referred to next semester for the next funding decision.
Explore The Many
Worlds of
Engineering
Kim Jones
3A Chemical
E
xplorations '93, a program
which is designed to offer
elementary school students and
their parents their first introduction to
science, technology and engineering,
will be held at the University of
Waterloo on Saturday, March 13th.
The event is being hosted by the
undergraduate students in the Faculty
of Engineering. Only in its third year
since inception, Explorations '92
attracted between 2500 and 3000
participants - far beyond al1
expectations. The Dean's office,
which is handling the registration, is
again expecting an excellent response.
Tours lasting about an hour
highlight some of the interesting
problems that society asks engineers
to solve. In the past, displays have
included model buildings that sink in
quicksand, fire temperatures
measured with lasers, solar powered
robots, concrete toboggans and wind-
tunnel models of buildings and
aircraft.
The event is held in conjunction
with Campus Day (March 16th) so
that many of the same displays may
be used. Participants are divided into
groups of sixteen, and taken to five
separate displays. At least four one-
hour time slots have been allocated on
Saturday afternoon for tours, and
more will slots will be made available
if warranted by demand.
At least fifty student tour guides are
needed for the event, and will be
provided free T-shirts and food for
volunteering. Guides are not
expected to stay for the length of the
program; only a two hour
commitment is necessary. Those that
are interested in helping out may sign
up through their class reps or in the
Orifice.
WEEF Board Issues
Warning
WEEFMorton
T
he Board of Directors of the
WEEF issued a warning to the
students when they met
recently to a Funding Council
resolution. TheJDirectors expressed
concern over the possible loss of focus
in the funding decision, given the
Endowment's mandate to improve
the quality of engineering education.
It was felt that student projects were
receiving a disproportionate amount
of money in the funding decision,
especially given the desperate need
for funding for lab equipment. The
Board wished to convey to the
students a feeling of dismay that such
urgent requirements were being
overlooked in favour of more visible,
shorter term projects. Of the $71808
allocated, approximately 21 % went to
non-directly educational proposals.
No decision to veto items was made,
however this may be possible in
future. The Board did not intend to
overpower the Funding Council nor
to set the funding decisions, but
would like to encourage the students
to think 'long term' and educational
value while allocating funds.
The Board oversees the operation of the
Endowment and has the power to veto all
or part of a funding decision. It has struck
a committee to form suggested guidelines
for future funding decisions, including
proportional limits for certain types of
spending.
Westmount Place Pharmacy
50 WCSlmoul\1 Rd . N. ,Walt'rloo, ONT
OPEN DAILY 9am 10pm
Sundays & Holidays 11 am- 9pm
WE ACCEPT U of W STUDENT HEALTH PLAN
THE CAMPUS SHOP (CAMPUS CENTRE)
LEATHER JACKET DAY
Tues. Mar. 2 11 am to 4pm
LEATHER $315.00 MELTON & LEATHER $199.00
$100 DEPOSIT REQUIRED (PLUS TAX)
JACKETS BY EXPORT LEATHER GARMENTS LTD.
A6 The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
The Need For Effective
Kim Jones
3AChemicai
D
ue to some fundamental changes
in our society over the past thirty
years, engineers are no longer as
respected or revered as they used to be.
Engineers have far less power than they
did a few years ago. What can be done?
How can engineers function most
effectively in society?
That was the topic of Dr. Norman Ball's
keynote speech at the recent CSChE
National Student Conference in Waterloo.
Dr. Ball is an historian focusing on Science
and Technology in Canada. He is the
N orthern Telecom Professor of
Engineering Impact, Department of
Systems Design Engineering (University
of Waterloo) and Director of the Centre for
Society, Technology and Values. He has
made significant contributions to the
engineering profession in a variety of
ways.
People who have power have
the ability to significantly
influence change, events and
decisions.
Dr. Ball's talk progressed through the
areas of power, societal change, specific
changes, the consequences of these
changes, and suggestions of how
engineers should address those
consequences.
POWER-HUNGRY ENGINEERS
What is power? Dr. Ball defined it by
saying that people who have power have
the ability to Significantly influence
change, events and decisions. They are in
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Engineers
controL Those who have no power are
battered by change, and as a result are
often frustrated and unhappy.
There are four qualities that can give an
individual or group power. FIrst of all is
position. A president of the company has
far more power than a shop floor worker
simply because of position. Secondly is the
Hero image. Recognition and status tend
to be accompanied by a certain authority.
For example, Wayne Gretzky is far more
likely to get that prime restaurant
reservation than a lowly engineering
student. Thirdly, understanding is
important. Others are more easily
influenced if they understand or
sympathize with a person; they will not
yield authority easily if they are confused.
Finally, public opinion is crucial in
wielding power. Leading in the direction
the public is already inclined to go is far
easier than battling against the current of
public opinion. It has been said that an
effective leader finds out where everyone
is going, then moves to the front
GREAT EXPECTATIONS-
UNFORESEEN PROBLEMS
True change, Dr. Ball said, takes you
where you have never been before. There
are no full guidelines on how to behave,
since there is no prior experience. There
are three characteristics of significant
change. Confusion is inevitable; the nature
of the change is misunderstood since
entirely new realms are being explored.
Unrealistic expectations should be
anticipated, because as the change is
progressing, it is difficult to distinguish
between the possible and impossible. This
can lead to conflict. The third and final
aspect of significant change is learning
how to cope. It is hard to think about new
things in new ways. One usually bases
judgements and decisions on past
experience, which is irrelevant in an
entirely new situation
TIMES KEEP ON CHANGING
There have been significant changes in
the last few years. Specifically, a
fundamental change has transpired in the
relationship between engineers and
society. More thought needs to be
directed toward maximizing an engineers
satisfaction in her/his profession. Dr. Ball
enumerated some of the fundamental
changes that have affected engineers.
Over the past 300 years, there has been a
move from '1ittle science" to "big science".
Today fewer projects can be funded,
because each project demands a greater
financial commitment. Also, serious
scientific projects now cover a far broader
field than they used to. 300 years ago,
most scientific projects could be funded.
Now, we must be far wiser and more
selective about choices of funding.
Ignorance is all that is brought
to parliament.
A greater knowledge is necessary to
achieve even a base understanding of
scientific and technical problems. The
fundamentals now are much greater trum
they used to be. This means that even the
well-educated general public can no
longer know very much about scienre and
technology. Non-technical people have
much more difficulty understanding
teclmica1 issues, and as a result science and
engineering are less and less a part of the
general knowledge - even at the university
level. Politicians, especially, know less,
relatively speaking, about technology now
than they knew several years ago.
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ENGINEERS AREN'T HEROES ANY
MORE
In the fifties, engineers were
unquestioned authority figures. The
public had unbounded faith in the power
of science. Engineers were heroes, and
many school children aspired to belong to
the profession of the future. Today,
engineers are no longer heroes.
Engineering students now are going into a
career that the media and popular culture
no longer advocate. As a result of this
general public disdain, money is less likely
to be directed toward engineering projects.
Finally, the costs and consequences of
engineering error are ever-increasing.
Environmental risks, health risks, and
consequences of low quality work are
much greater than they used to be. This
means that the public is hesitant to stand
behind projects they perceive as potentially
dangerous.
EVERY ACTION HAS A REACTION
The consequences of these changes
affect the effectiveness and power of
engineers in several ways. We in
engineering schools are in the best position
to address these problems.
An initia consequence is that
engineering and science are no longer
adequately represented in politics.
T echnica1 issues are less represented by the
general knowledge, and it is in the non-
technical fields that politicians are usually
educated Unfortunately this ignorance is
all that is brought to parliament
Another consequence of the societal
changes is inadequate coverage and
representation of engineering in the
communications media This is again due
to the under-representation of technical
Allowing only technically
unqualified politicians to run
our country sets a scenario for
bad decision making.
iSS1, es in general knowledge. The
communications media are in the culture
business; they tell the general public what
to aspire to and what to value. This
explains some of the (perceived) declining
value of technology.
All this means there is inadequate
encouragement for people to enter the
science and engineering fields. The mapr
vehiclei of public opinion, such as the
news media, discourage participation in
technical areas. There has been a cultwal
shift away from engineering. What can be
done? School visits are important but very
inefficient A better answer would be to
have a major cultural shift which would
improve the reputation, confidence and
faith people have in engineering and
science. How can this be achieved?

The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
A7
Public Understanding
of Engineering
Needed
From Page 6
ENGINEERS AS JOURNALISTS Kim Jones
3AChemicai
CSChE NATIONAL STUDENT
CO FERENCE
planning and hard work to make the spoke about the increasing
conference possible. Sponsorship ,\-vas powerlessness of engineers in today's
Engineers have to become public provided by a wide variety of sources society and methods to remedy the
opinion makers. A better societal Waterloo's Chemical from the CSChE to Imperial Oil to situation. Other speeches addressed
perspective of engineers is needed. Oneof Engineering Society Waterloo Engineering. the environment, changes in the
the best things we can do with our recently hosted the Several industry tours were workplace, supply and demand of
engineering education is go into Canadian Society for Chemical available. Delegates could discover chemical engineers, presentation
journalism. This would mean that the Engineering (CSChE) National Student nuclear power plant engineering at preparation, and effective reading of
media would no longer ignore science and Conference. The even t ran from Darlington N.G.S., east of Toronto. Oil technical reports.
technology, and the public would be given Sunday, February 7th to Wednesday, refining and process control was The topics co ' ered in the paper
a better starting base of technical February 10th, with over seventy shown at Petro Canada in Mississauga. competition included "Oxygen Mass
knowledge. This is the most ca;t-effective delegates from coast to coast in Petrochemical operations were on Transfer in Immobilized Hybridoma
way to change dominant thought patterns. attendance. It was open to interested display at Dow Chemical in Sarnia. Culture' "Study of the 'Diameter
Evenifjoumalism does not appeal, there students from every diScipline of The consumer goods industry was Effect' for Friction and Heat Transfer in
are many ways to make a difference and engineering. characterized by a visit to Procter and Drag Reducing Fluids," and "Analysis
increase public understanding of our According to Brad Loewen, the Gamble. A tour to Breslube Motor Oil and Interpretation of Radiation
profession. Writing something such as a conference chair, the purpose was to Re-Refinery in Breslau taught some of Monitoring Data for Nuclear
newspaper column is a very effective way provide, "a relaxed, informative the delegates about separation Emergency Response Teams".
of helping people understand. Speak to session focusing on young people processes. And finally, an evening The scope of the conference was
non-specialists. A talk to the Rotary Oub wishing to enrich their profession." tour to Brick Breweries in Kitchener broad, and particularly relevant to
does far more to help the image, The conference consisted of industrial illuminated the Held of alcohol engineering students. It was a unique
reputation and understanding of tours, distinguished speakers, a assimilation. opportunity to see some of the aspects
engineering than a talk at an engineering student paper competition and of Most of the speeches addressed the of Chemical Engineering often missed
conference. Non-science or non-technical course socializing with students from relevance of engineering in present during the academic term, and to meet
invitations are very important. They across the country. day society. The keynote speaker, Dr. future colleagues. Congratulations go
provide a valuable venue to change The Organizing Committee Norman Ball, a historian focusing on to the Organizing Committee for a well
attitudes which will then allow engineers contributed over fourteen months of Science and Technology in Canada, run, informative conference.
to become more effective.
DAZZLES, BUT DOES NOT ILLUMINATE
It is also very important as engineers to
think about how we communicate. It often
seems' that technical experts - and
engineers are not exempt - seek not to
communicate knowledge, they playa
power game. Don't "wow" others with
how much you know, talk so others
understand. A void unnecessary jargon.
The question we need to ask ourselves is
whether we are trying to bring people in or
. shut them out. Communicate in a way
that makes non-technical people
understand and feel good about what you,
as an engineer, are doing.
An :C:nglnee:;'s gUlde to the
Bombshel ter:
Come doW'n to ...
Chemical - end mingle
Clvll- burn bridges
Computer - get W'ith the program
Electrical - connect with other live wIres
IDechanical- get thmgs going
Systems Deslgn-
use your fJo""'path (glug glug)
-,
Fresh rood and beverages dallyl
YOU WILL FLIP OVER IT!. ... ..
Another important contribution that
engineers can make is by going into
politics. We must get an understanding of
technical issues back into the political
arena. Allowing only technically
unqualified politicians to run our country
sets a scenario for bad decision making,
which could lead toinefective, powerless
engineers.
WHAT GOOD ARE
ANYWAY?
Over the past years, there have been
large changes in the content of
engineering. but even larger changes in the
context. The whole framework and
intellectual environment has changed.
One word evaluates engineering best
"EFFECTIVE". We are trained to
rofit, minimize waste; provide
tile nWt' efted:fW
f I
I
problems. Society desperately needs
engineering to be effuctive. As engineers,
we have spent too much time on the
content of engineering and not enough on
the context, but it is this context which
serves to make engineering less effective in
the overall view. We must also look at the
broader picture.
In the history of engineering, a lot has
changed, but not the need for effective
. . I
. \
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PIZZA
I
Phone: 886-9290
Located at Westmount Place Mall
*Single Toppings Only. Umited lime Offer.
A8 -. .... Not-So Short Story
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26, 1993
I nt e 9 rat ion Pa rt 3


Scott Chandler
IW Staff
A
dam sat. pressed up against the side of the bus,
enduring a tirade from the lowest common
denominator sitting next to him.
"1 say boy, are you listening to me! This is an
opportunity you daren't miss boy . .As I was saying, there I
was in Say-gon, sitting in a bar with this preety little gook
sitting right on my lap, if you know what I mean boy. All
of a sudden like, there's a VC pointing a gun in my face, in
my face boy. Olarlie was right there in front of me! Don't
you go falling asleep on me now boy ... "
Adam's forehead pressed harder against the glass, his
breath filming the pane, removing his only escape from
the whore of humanity beside him. His eyes clenched
shut, as well as the rest of Adam's senses. Thirty two
hours spent on a bus, twenty beside this abortion.
It was a terrible loss that his previous rompanion was
going only as far as Hi.cton. Lisa was moving to live with
her brother and help him with his run-down cafe. As she '
got off the bus, Adam realized that she wouldn't last two
months there. But she had nowhere else to go, her parents
just dead from a house fire.
"So long Lisa. I hope all works out fine."
"Thank you Adam. have fun at school IT I make it to
the Big aty, perhaps I'll tIy to look you up."
"Please do ... "
And Usa was gone, into the arms of her brother and
walking off into the truck stop that would beoome her life.
''D:> you mind if I sit here?"
"Not at all." Adam said, looking up cursorily but
instantly caught by flashing blue eyes .framed in a sea of
gold.
She sat down beside him. "Hi my name is Lisa and you
arer'
".Adam, Adam uhhh. Smith. Where are you going to?"
''Hictoo. YOUI'8Jlfr.'
"Oh, I'm off to the University of Trafalgar. I'm going to
be an engineer, whatever that means."
"Really, I wanted to go to university, but not Trafalgar.
They don't have a dance program, I'm a dancer you
know."
Adam looked up her body slowly, noticing the graceful
curves and slender, but strong lines flowing along her
frame. About 5 foot 4, and 110 pounds Adam thought
"So what's in Hicton then?"
'WelL my brother. He owns a truck stop restaurant
I'm going there to help out, you know wait, and rook and
welL just do stuff. Did you like what you saw, probably
not, I'm fat"
"That doesn't sound like it's much fun for a dancer. I
don't think you're fat at all"
'Well things don't always work out You neEd cash to
go to school and all mine just went up in smoke. I guess
this is just one of life's saaifices. All dancers are fat"
"I'm broke. Just creative government funding, that's all
That's sick"
'1 wanted to see what was possible, but I've been a little
preoccupied the last couple weeks. It's been kind of
rough. What's sick is the producers, especially the
women, they've all been through it. Why don't they
understandr'
A tear welled up in Lisa's eye.
"I didn't mean to upset you, I'll just get back to
reading."
"011. it's all right, talking is the best therapy, what are
you reading?"
'11 certainly isn't the best theJ:apy where I come from,"
Adam blurted out, '1t usua11y gave you a oouple days in
thedoud room with an injection from Dr. Riviera." Adam
~ his book so that Lisa oould read the rover. "Your
First Step Back Into Society." It was published by the
institute, and was the only thing they had given him to
help prepare.
'Well that certainly alludes to a much more interesting
background than mire"
Adam spent the next several hours defending his sanity
and Lisa talking about her life as a dancer and her parents'
house burning down.
'1t was from smoking the Fire Marshall said. My
parents always smoked in bed. It was just my luck to be at
the drive-in that night Men are pigs."
"Father always smoked, sitting on his fat ass and
smoking away. I wouldn't know, I haven't had the
chance to be a man. And I've never been to a drive-in
wjth a woman. Wasn't there any insurance?"
''No, they had to let it lapse to pay for my instructors.
My parents certainly weren't rich or anything. And you
certainly aren't a boy."
''Now there's a catch-22. IT your parents had quit
smoking to pay for your dancing, they could have paid for
your instruction but wouldn't have neEded the insurance.
I've never really been given the chance to be a boy either. I
was an innocent baby, and then I was Adam. something
completely different"
"Catch what? Anyways, yeah, something rompletely
different, crazy. Really Adam, talking squirrels, and
stalking your family? That's just gross."
'1'm here and they aren't And if they were, I wouldn't
be."
"Now that's plain rude."
'Whatever."
''Fme.''
They both erupred in laughter, and chatted with a light-
heartedness that grew as their friendship did. And then
she left.
.As the bus drove away, Adam stared out the window,
secretly hoping the squirrels would rome to her too. And
that is when the fat oaf, Larry sat down.
"How you doing boy. I was in Kuwait you know.
Show some respect to your military protectors." The blob
drawled out
It seemed as if Adam was stuck in a bad movie. But this
was worse; it was real life.
Adam's hand reached out and wiped the gJass clean as
best he could, and through the streaky view he saw that
he was almost to the Bii-City, It rose out of the
surrounding plain like a monument to human
achievement. This is 'what he would be creating.
Monuments to human ingenuity. Targets for Lanys to
destroy.
Slowly as the bus wormed its way through the
labyrinth, of the like Adam had never seen before, it
emptied its rontents upon the unsuspecting city. At one
stop, across from a hotel with a large sign advertising,
"Rooms by the Hour, Day or Week. Makes no difference
to us," Larry got up proclaiming, 'Well this is where I get
off boy, and I do mean get off. I hope you get over some
of those hang-ups boy. Let me at those tits."
Adam looked out again expecting to see several young
and aging women hanging out of upper stoty windows as
he remembered the Westerns seen before the institute.
Father liked Westerns, even if he always seemed to
identify more with tha;e wearing the black hats. Instead
he only saw neon signs proclaiming, "Girls, Girls, Girls."
and an animated stripper baring all.
.As the bus rontinued on its path. Adam noticed the air
was remarkably cleaner. Winding in and out of
neighbourhoods, the bus passed parks larger than
Adam's home town, single buildings with higher
populations, and more death and destruction than even
the institute had shown him. 'Why are all the buildings
along here burnt out?" Adam asked the elderly man in
front of him.
"During the LA riots the people living here tore up
everything too."
'Why is it still like this, haven't they bothered to fix it,
instead of just living in the muckr'
"Well there's nothing stoping them, but nobody's
helping either. Just punishment for tearing up your own
homes the way I see it"
"Yeah, I guess 50." Adam sighed as he dropped back
down into his seat
Twenty five minutes later, the bus stopped inside a
monorail station. "Hey kid, this is Trafalgar!" the driver
shouted.
Adam stood up and grabbed his duffel bag down from
the ovemead bin. Walking briskly up the aisle, he hurled
himself down the steps, out of the protective environment
and truly into the world he had been without for so long.
A pang of fear hit, and then left him as the bus pulled
away from the curb. Adam had learned little in the few
days given to him so that he oould adjust. He clung to the
knowledge he had gained. There were good people and
bad people in the world. Unjust things happen. Friends
are important
Adam walked towards a rail map and saw that the
back surrounded the university campus, linking most of
the important areas to each other. All other destinations
on campus must be reached by walking as the only
vehicles allowed were electric powered maintenance carts
and vans. Adam quickly spotted where the FlI'St Year
Residence was located and observed it was named Nelson
Hall Adam moved towards. the platfonn to catch the next
train but was stopped at the turnstile.
'Where's your student card kid"
'1 don't have one."
"Then you have to buy a pass for ten dollars."
'1 don't have ten dol1ars."
"Then you don't ride the train kid"
''Look. I just got here, I'm a week late, I'd like to get to
residence and settle down."
"Okay then, lets see your regisbation papers."
"Sorry. 'Don't have any of tha;e either."
'Well then kid, I guess you're walking. Follow that
path to the registrars office."
Adam walked down some stairs and then outside onto
a tree lined path. After walking for ten minutes, he
reached a building called Jules Paine Building. Entering,
and finding his way to the end of a line, Adam waited.
And waited. And waited. Reaching the front, "Hi, I'd like
to register please."
A chorus of laughter erupted from all around him.
Between the chuckles, the person at the counter said, "This
is the Drop/ Add line you poor sod, Registration's around
the romer."
Fmding an empty rounter with a bell, Adam rung it
And rung it again. Finally a coarse looking woman came
out saying, '1 heard. you the first time, if you don't mind.
Now what can I do for YOlL"
Adam looked up at the sign that said "Registration"
and ronfidently said, '1'm here to register."
"Oh, boy, just my day. Let's see your fonns."
"Sorry, I don't have any."
"My day plus plus. What's your name?"
''Pardon?''
"Yourname? You cando it"
"Adam."
"Last name?"
"Hold it, it's been a while, Pinesset, I think"
"Great, a live one. Hold on a moment"
She came back out with a pile of papers and a smile on
her face. "Adam, we've been expecting you."
''Not too hard it seems."
The smile disappeared. "Right then, let's get on with it"
After signing about twenty fonns that Adam wasn't
given time to read, a full set of fingerprints taken and
having his photo taken about eight times, Adam was
given his student card. and schedule.
"You need to go to the housing counter." Said the
woman and then she turned and left.
Adam looked over at the other side of the room and
saw a sign above another empty counter that said
"Housing." Walking over to it and hitting its bell
produced no response. Again. The coarse looking
woman walked out of a door behind this counter saying,
'1 heard. you the first time. Now what can I do for you."
Adam spun around and then looked back.
"Oose your mouth boy. You're catching flies."
''Yes ma'am. I'm here to anange housing. My name is
Adam Pinesset. Here is my student card"
'1 I want something, I'll ask Now then, may I see your
student card"
Adam passed it over to her, but neglected to let go.
When she pulled at it, Adam gripped tighter and pulled
back. A tug of war ensued until the woman swung her
other ann out and whacked Adam's wrist. "Practice." she
said with a smile.
"On your kids no doubt"
~ S e e P d g e P
......... .o.. ....................... ..
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26, 1993
A9
A Blast From The
Imprint's
Past ...
I
. ~ .
/ -lmpri
,
. ~ ~
... . ~ . $ ~
From Page AS
"Right then, let's get on with it" she said as the smile
disappeared. '1t seems we haven't assigned you with a
room mate yet Answer these questions for me please.
Have you ever had a hallucinogenic experience?"
"Yes."
"Do Y?lllike sleeping with the window open"
"No.'"
"Do you prefer blondes, brunettes or red heads?"
'Well, reds I think"
"What about cheerleaders?"
'1 guess they're okay."
"Do you study late at night?"
'1've never studied, so I don't know."
'1'0 put down no. Do you like strutting aroWld your
room naked?"
"No! Of course not"
"Fine that will do then." as the woman quickly checked
off about twenty more marks and the smile crept slowly
back onto her face. '1'0 just put this through the computer
and, well here's your room. You're in North South West R
room 112 Here's your student card, irs coded to activate
the locks. Enpy."
Adam walked a<:raiS campus in a drizzle which slowly
twned into a down pour. Reaching Ne1son Hall, Adam
realized that he had hl; student card now and could have
taken the monorail FInding the elevator, he travelled up
to floor R of North South West sixteenth and walked
down an empty hall to room 112. He heard a loud
raucous group of voices from down the hall as he slid his
card through the reader. As Adam walked into the room,
he saw a young blond man strutting around the room
naked.
"Hi, my name's Trev, I'm a cheerleader. Youare?"
"Adam."
"Of course you are. Well I guess were roomies. The
top bunk's mine, I like being on top. Do you like Bon
lovi?"
Adam sat down on the bed.
ENGITAINMENT
Scott Chandler
Hanvner & Com
A
s the title says, Lawerence is back
in his new group, Denim. Back
from his musical hiatus created
after Felt's 10 year planned program was
over. Denim's self proclaimed mission is
to "Put the soul back in Rock 'n Roll"
Unfortunately, it's not the soul I was
looking for. The seventies ended for
several good reasons that are too obvious
to be stated. Lawerence says that the
seventies are when it all happened and
the nineties are just going to be a rehash.
The eighties were an anomaly he'd rather
forget. I think he's just a little upset with
the music industry that pigeonholed Felt
and "Put it underground," rather than
accept them for the kings of Pop music
that they strove to be. The seventies were
more kind to that sort of thinking, so that's
where Lawerence has gone.
Here's some examples. Track number
four, titled "The Osmonds", is a nostalgia
overdose, reminisdng about the greatness
of the seventies.
'111 the seventies there were skinheads,
there were bower boys and bnunmie reds
and greasers, grebos judge and natty
dread in the seventies ... "
Oh yeah, and don't forget the
Osmonds, lots of little Osmonds
everywhere. No he's not being sarcastic,
just stoic.
With the lyrics and motivation out of
the way, lets talk about the music. It's not
that bad Good mellow pop-schluk type
stuff of the sort that Felt always managed
to pump out No we're not talking Kylie
Minouge, Rick Astley pop, but real pop
music. Something you don't have to sink
you're teeth into to enjoy. It's there just to
pleasure you That's what Felt was and
it's lack of success seems to be the cause of
Lawerence's hatred. But as I was saying,
it's the same old stuff, albeit with drum
machines and synths in place of the trusty
Hammond organ, but times change.
If you hated the eighties and want
someone to have a good love in with, buy
this album. If you loved everything
Lawerence ever did in Felt, buy this
album. lfyou have twenty burning a hole
in your pocket or you liked some of the
music the Felt has done and wanted to get
Denim to check it out some more, don't
buy this albwn.
Hardest Hits Vol. Three
SPG Music
Colin Young
IW Staff
F
or those of you who have been
hiding under a rock for the past
few years (musically speaking,
of course), a brief history is in order.
About three or so years ago, a long-
time CFNY listener got a little fed up
with not being able to find all those
wonderful alternative hits from the
early to mid eighties that paved the
way for modern alternative music. So
he did what any sensible music lover
would do. He purchased the rights to
the songs, formed his own record
label (SPG Music) and began releasing
them as the "Hardest Hits"
collections. The first pressing (6000) of
Hardest Hits Volume 1 sold out in a
little less than six hours after it was
received at the major record stores on
Yonge St. Volume 2 met with similar
success, but SPG Music had learned
their lesson and shipped considerably
more copies.
The third release of this series has
finally arrived, and it was well worth
the wait. Some songs, such as Swamp
Thing by the Chameleons have never
before appeared in their original form
on CO, and others, such as The First
Picture of You by the Lotus Eaters
have been totally unavailable since
the mid eighties. The Comsat Angels
are even listed by their proper name
(i.e. before the Comsat company
successfully sued them to change
their name to prevent any confusion
over their satellites).
Anybody who is into alternative
music (not just the "grunge" scene)
should add this CD to their collection.
Colin Young
IW Staff
T
his is the first single from a
new album from a band we
haven't heard anything new
from in a few years. Unfortunately, it
was not worth the wait. This song has
a decidedly INXS flavour to it (I'm
not just saying that because both
bands are from Australia either). It's
definitely more danceable than
anything else they've recorded
however, and better than anything
INXS has done since Original Sin. In
case you want to hear it (I don't think
it's been released in the stores yet),
the New & Improved! CFNY is
playing it at least three times a day.
Amused to Death
Ralph Hoflich
IWStaff
R
ight Cerebellum - Roger Waters
has done it once again. He's
produced a thought-provoking,
conceptual album to compliment his
already impressive repertoire of musical
work. Amused to Death is an interesting
journey into tlle mind of one of the most
respected musicians of our time.
Left Cerebellum - Certainly this is a
good album, but it some say it lacks the
interest and diversity of his earlier works
such as The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking
and Dark Side of the Moon.
R - True to tradition are the trademarks
of Roger Waters' demented scream, soft
guitars and interesting dialogue. Once
again this album follows a few themes,
each of which can be interpreted in any
number of ways. The foremost theme has
to be of the title track Amused to Death.
This song ties all the songs together in
some way. It explores man's involvement
in entertainment and where it is leading
us.
L - Waters has always been interested in
fonns of communication. Radio Kaos dealt
with radio as a medium and this album
refers often to television. His McLuhan-
istic views are very one sided and
judgement is handed down pretty
severely. He paints a picture of a dark
society hinged on being entertained, to the
point of self-destruction. No doubt this
album is another dark and sinister
foretelling of the dystopic society that
Waters is obsessed with.
R - The darkness is, however, sparkled
with wit, cynicism and poetry. One has to
be accustomed to Waters' style of writing
to truly appreciate what the message is
that he's trying to convey. This album has
taken on various political issues, from the
Gulf War to Tiananmen square to TV
evangelism.
L - True. The song What God Wants is a
brilliant display of this. The theme here is
underlined with comedy and satire. One
can really read into it whatever hel she
wishes.
R - This is what Waters does so well. His
music is riddled with thoughts. The
simplest form of literature is of storytelling,
and the most advanced is one tl1at conveys
ideas. It is too difficult to mention all the
ideas brought out in Amused to Death.
Perfect Sense is another song filled with
ideas with a central theme. It surrounds
man's dependence on money and how
money is involved in weapons of
destruction. The image of the monkey is
retained in most of his songs, portraying
man as being as ignorant as an ape with
nuclear weapons.
L - This leads into the next song The
Bravery of Being out of Range. This song is
a departure from the sound of the rest of
the albwn. It's much harsher, possibly to
emphasize the concept of destruction. It
analyzes the development of weapons
technology. With bigger and smarter
nuclear weapons, we now can kill greater
and further away, while oblivious of the
true destruction. War becomes more of a
game than reality. It's shocking to hear the
track of a young child remark "I don't
mind about the war. It's one of the things I
like to watch, if there's a war going on.
'Cause then I know if our side's winning,
or our side's losing ... " Can a child really
understand the horrors of war and the loss
of thousands of human beings? Are there
really sides in destruction?
R - Probably the most fervid song on the
album is a song called Watching TV. It's a
touching memorial of the Tiananmen
massacre.
She wore a white bandanna tllat said
Freedom now
She thought the Great Wall of China
Would come tumbling down
She was a student
Her father was an engineer
Won't you shed a tear
For my yellow rose
My yellow rose
In her bloodstained clothes
L - Waters has an impressive list of
musicians helping out with this album,
Don Henley and Jeff Beck amongst tile
most well known. His music is soft and
flowing at times, mad and demented at
other times. There seems to be a
congruency between all the songs,
interwoven by musical themes and
concepts.
R - Anyone familiar with Waters' style
will notice the soft guitars, the piano in the
background and the unpredictableness of
the lyrics and sound effects.
L - As usual, Waters has attempted to
take on some pretty weighty subjects, but
then again we just might be reading too
muchintoil
R - Probably.
She's everybody's sister
She's the one in fifty million
Who can help us to be free
Because she died on TV
And I grieve for my sister
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
Engitainment
All
Thanks For the Memories
Anally Speaking
GeaR
DAWGS
W
eILl thought that I might have
to withdraw from writing this
installment of Anally Speaking
but thanks to my nifty road trip to Toronto,
I managed to pick up some fairly recent
stuff. So let's get on with the show.
I finally got Sugar's Copper Blue
(Rykodisc). I know you're saying: ''That's
not new!", but you've got to remember that
I was living in relative isolation in Port
Elgin. the ann pit of Ontario. They only had
one record store which should just now be
getting its fust shipment of The Bodyguard
Soundtrack (Ack!). I could only read about
how great this album was from the scant
few trade papers that I hoarded. Once I
returned to civilization, I found that the
price that they were asking for the CD was
unnerving to say the least It was $21.99 'on
sale'! Was it because of the nifty blue
Diamond Box? I had to wait until the price
came down from the stratosphere before I
indulged myself. It was a long wait but it
was worthwhile. FIrst let me start by stating
my assumptions a've still got a little bit of
mid-terms left in my blood.): let's suppa:;e
that Sugar is a completely new band and
that nobody has ever heard of Bob Mould.
What's the first thing that comes to mind
when I hear Copper Blue? Gee, it kind of
sounds like the Pixies. (Score one.) It kind of
sounds like My Bloody Valentine in
between songs. (Score one more.) I never
used to listen to Husker Du or Bob Mould
so I can't compare this to either but I am
impressed with this disc. Both Helpless and
Man On TIle Moon have impossibly catchy
hooks.
We also managed to pick up some brand
new stuff while we were in Toronto. Most
notably, Dinosaur Jr.'s Where You Been
(Blanco Y Negro/Sire/Warner). J. a still
don't know anyone who knows his real first
name.) Mascis is still pounding out the
same solid song writing style that made
him famous. He sort of broadens his scope
this time by using selected orchestral
instruments. The use of tympani in Start
Choppin and What Else Is New is
particularly effective. I think this is the first
time that I've ever heard them out side of
their natural surroundings and they really
stand out Of course, the best thing about
the album is that there are lots of loud
guitars doing a lot of cool things all at the
sametime. You1l10veit
The other new material we managed to
lay our hands on was Jesus Jones' new
effort Perverse (Food/SBK/EMI). After
hearing snippets of it on the New Music, I
was looking forward to its release but ufX>n
a thorough listen it comes off as kind of
disposable. It's not good or bad. It's just
there. Some people have been heralding it
as the perfect blend of techno and rock but I
just don't see it Other than the fact that the
songs roll by without noticeable difference, I
just don't see the techno connection By the
way, why does Mike Edwards keep up the
charade of needing a band behind him
anyway? Both Nine Inch Nails and
Dinosaur Jr. work perfectly well with out
any other groovily haired. band mates to fill
the voids in publicity shots. Maybe it's time
he gave it a go on his own.
{({ FlASHBACl< JJJ
Since this column kind of comes off as
mildly retro, I thought it might be fun to
delve into the past and bring back some of
A I i V e
Mike Bessuille
3BSystems
I
am confused. When I first saw this
film a couple of weeks ago, I
thought it was pretty good, but
nothing spectacular. Then a day later
after the images of the film were
haunting me incessantly, I reconsidered
and decided it was very good. Now 2
weeks later I can still see the plane crash
and other horrible scenes very
graphically, and realize the movie was
very nearly great.
Alive is the true story of the struggle
for survival of a team of rugby players
whose plane crashes in the Andes of
South America fed: As opposed to the
Al1des of North Waterloo.]. Its story is
rather dull - I mean, there's not much
intricacy, not too much suspense; people
die and people keep dying. There are
several key situations however that
keep the film moving; the plane crash
itself, and two attempts to clin1b nearby
mountains in search of help. Also, the
characters were not greatly developed,
but how could they be with over 20 in
the movie?
The one terrific part of Alive is its
images. I don't mean just the
cinematography, either, which is
exceptional. I mean the direction of the
film crew and editors to create such
realistic images as the most terrifying
plane crash I have ever seen on film (not
that I've seen a real one) and an
exceptional shot of a clin1ber falling into
a crevice, with all the snow caving out
from under him. Since Alive is based
firmly in reality, it gets very graphic and
is not intended for weak stomachs.
(May I warn you not to have a big,
meat-filled dinner before you see it).
However, it is not pretentious in its
documentary approach and is certainly
not preachy. It tries to be nothing more
than a factual account of survival in the
most, well, unpleasant envirorunent. Its
purpose is simply to inform, and also to
scare the crap out of its audience, and it
did that quite well.
I can't stop thinking about the damn
thing. So who's going on a plane trip for
reading two-days?
those mouldy coloured memories of the
way we were. r went about and asked
various IW staff members the following
ho\ro questions:
a) What was the first album you ever
bought with your own money?
b) What was the first album you ever
bought that you still listen to?
As an example I said:
Marc Risdale (Editing Guy)
a) Olivia Newton John's Greatest Hits
b) Purple Rain, Prince.
I also stipulated that the answers be
honest and as accurate as humanly flO$ible.
I think that some of them held out on me.
See for yourself.
Scott Chandler (E in Q
a) Combat Rock, The Clash
b) 7th Dream of Teenage Heaven, Love and
Rockets.
Colin Young (Honorary Artsie)
a) Rat In The Kitchen, UB40
b) Rat In The Kitchen, UB4O.
Andrew Chan (layout God)
a) Dream Into Action, Howard Jones
b)Sub>tance,NewOrcier.
Ouis DeBrusk (Whatever)
a) Signals, Rush
b) So, Peter Gabriel.
Marc Ouellette (Foreign Correspondent)
a) Rock Lobster, 8-52's
b) T 'NT, Run DMC
Don McLeod (Darkroom Troll)
a) Business As Usual, Men At Work
p) 1984,Van Halen.
Kim Fanvell (Advertising Guru)
a) Abba's Greatest Hits Vol n
b) The Doors, The Doors.
Hash (Sports Know-It-AID
a) Please, Pet Shop Boys
b) Please, Pet Shop Boys.
Andrea (Girlfriend In QUe)
a) Kissing To Be Gever, Culture Gub
b) Tonight, David Bowie.
Peter de Schulthess guru)
a) Eye Of The Tiger, Survivor
b) Glass Houses, Billy Joel.
Adrian Evans (Media Assassin)
a) Animals, Pink Floyd
b) Animals, Pink Floyd.
Stephan Waspe (Benchwanner)
a)War,U2
b} The Joshua Tree, U2.
Trevor Ball (Roommate In QUe)
a) Fuel For The FIre, Naked Eyes
b) World Machine, Level 42.
Heather Haavaldsrud (Otaucer Wannabe)
a) Rick Springfield
b) 5440'sGreatest Hits.
Mario BellabaIba (Make-up)
a) Double Fantasy, John & Yoko
b) And Then There Were TIlree, Genesis.
Eugenio DiMira (Hair)
a) Eat It, Weird AI Yankovic
b) For Those About To Rock, AC/OC
Cameron Lacy (Ym)
a) Ghostbuster's Soundtrack
b) No Jacket Required, Phil Collins.
Wayne Wong (Yang)
a) Miami Vice Soundtrack
b) Fore, Huey Lewis And The News.
Scott Hanneson (Sound)
a) Time Out, Dave Brubeck Quartet
b) TimeOut, Dave Brubeck Quartet.
So there you have it! We thought this
would give you, the readers, an
opporttmity to get to know the staff a little
bit better. We had a great time making up
the list. It's CIlllilZing how many memories
Ul.at question < n bring lx: ck. Try il ul on
your.;el{ sometime. &.>e you u\ two Wl ks!
Reservoir Dogs
--------------------------------
Mike Bessuille
3B Systems
A
ny movie in which everybody
dies can't be all that bad. Don't
get me wrong: I don't condone
violence. Yet there is something about
people getting blown away that makes
audiences go back for more and more. (12,
Lethal Weapon, etc.). There's more to
Reservoir Dogs than guns and blood. It's a
film about robbers. It doesn't glorify them,
it doesn't Hollywood-ize their situation or
their looks or their cars or their attitudes. It
just shows a simple job, filmed after-the-
fact, by a group of professional robbers,
and how they handle the mess they're in.
The best part about the movie is the
script; it is "High Drama" from start to
finish. There is no inappropriately thrown
in love scene. No terrorist plot botched by
one man. Just constant tense dialogue
between these robbers after a job that went
afoul. The best lines come from Mr. Pink:
"Am I the only Fucking professional
here?"
"Why do I havl' to be Mr. Pinkr'
'''Cause you're a faggot!" '
TIlis is certainly not a happy, light flick,
nor a sappy take-thc-girlfriend .(lick. It is an
intense disturbing drama.
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A 12
Engitainment
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
The Remains and True Nature of a
Great Performance
Kim Farwell
IW Staff
F
or all the laughter heard in the
audience, it wasn't a very funny
play. 'Unidentified Human
Remains and the True Nature of Love,' for
all the billing it received, caught its
audience unaware. It points specifically at
those who reached adolescence
somewhere from the mid-seventies to the
mid-eighties. We were drawn in by the
uneasy familiarity with the urban teenage
legends we told each other around
campfires and at sleep-overs to scare our
blends, all before we were old enough to
go parking on Lover's Lane. "Everything's
.fine till eleven or twelve, then bang! you get
pubic hair and the party's over." Dealing
with the plagues of modem society; they
aren't new, but for some reason our
generation has decided. to bring them into
the open and confront them. 'Remains' is
about the facets of the urban experience, all
linked together by the answering machine.
Sex, loneliness, having a roommate,
anorexia, AIDS, suicide, physical abuse,
homosexuality, bondage, women being
mutilated on the city streets at night - and
a friend who appears covered in blood
"from a fight" all in the same evening ...
And there's David, played by Michael
Albert. He had an acting career once; now
he's a waiter. But he'd be better described
as "the professional faggot" He has all the
moves, all the gay jokes, and the corny
lines. But it's all a facade; the hints to the
real David come from the strange bursts of
temper, and his presence and his body
language. For all David's eccentricity,
Albert forces us to relate to him and to
understand his frustration within.
In the eyes of Kane, the busboy (Bernard
Keamey) David has everything. He had an
acting career, he has interesting friends, his
father doesn't tell him when he has to be
home. He sees a hero, not a failure. Kane
hasn't seen enough of the world to
recognize the cold humour that masks a
broken spirit Kearney plays the "well,
almost 18" childish grown-up with such
authenticity that through the course of the
play his naivete gives way to insight By
the end he is almost ready to understand
Candy (Kimwun Perehinec) is David's
roommate, and his lover once. Before.
And now she's a victim of the dating scene;
image, working out, staying slim, finding
someone who isn't crazy. One prospect is
Robert, played by Roger Sumner - his
answering machine hints of his past; an
estranged wife and child. The other is Jerri
(Lesley Dowey). She (yes, she) is solid,
understanding but Candy's indecision will
hurt her. Perehinec portrays Candy in a
constant state of confusion and
he Canadian band "The Former Zygc:It.e5' have .
again caused controversy in their newest album,
which has been banned in three provinces.
Titled "Give me something aesthetically pleasing, or
give me death" has the Canadian bourgeois society up
in arms. "It's a blatant attack on middle class society,
and we're not going to stand for it," said Marlyne
Maggot from the Society of Middleclass Dignity, a
group fighting against middJ.e..class oppression. "These
types of lyrics are outrageous and senseless. There's
absolutely no need for this type of music," said Maggot
When asked about the amount of support for her
organization, Maggot replied "Urn ... excuse me, my
BMW has to be taken into the shop ... "
GINO'S
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apprehension. Her self esteem is tied up in
the image she's created for herself. David
isn't going to think twice about finding her
in bed with another woman, but Robert
won't be so understanding, and nor will
society.
Bernie, played by Mark Mc.Grinder, is a
long time friend of David's. He's married
And for the moot part he's cool about his
friend being gay. They go drinking and
shoot the shit on the roofs of the office
towers at night, they talk about the old
times when they felt they were happy.
And they talk about the nature of love.
They visit Benita. the psychic (Karri North)
with her fantastic collection of lingerie.
She's detached. She knows their secrets;
playing with her Tarot cards, weaving the
web that binds these friends together. She's
so hot, and so icy cold.
'Unidentified Human Remains' would
be a challenging play for any theatre
company and could be considered
ambitious for a university cast. The
situations and subject matter require
professional and compassionate insight
from the actors and they were magnificent
For two hours the whole audience became
a part of the world they created. Director
David Cheoroo must be commended for
his skillful interpretation of this play. The
fast paced, quickly changing scenes could
easily have come across as choppy, but
they flowed masterfully. The nudity was
effective and not overdone - he found the
equilibrium between seeming falsely chaste
and trying to sell the play on flesh scenes.
As for his challenge to impress upon the
audience the wrongness of the violence, I
overheard someone say that Remains gave
her nightmares for a week.
Except for Benita's outrageous lingerie
the costuming was subtle and enhanced
character. The lighting design worked well
- it led the eye smoothly from scene to
scene. The eerie soft blue light from the
Vom to simulate a 1V in a dark room bears
special note. The simplicity of the set
allowed for the rapid scene changes. There
was the bar, the bed with the four tall pa;ts
- good for every thing from hanging a
bathrobe to a place to tie down one end of
the stockings... And the futon and the
coffee table with the telephone and the
answering machine.
People are still talking about
'Unidentified Human Remains and the
True Nature of Love.' We wonder at this
reflection of our society, its coldness, its
truth. And we think about the ending and
consider the friends in our own lives. It is
frightening to realize that though you've
known someone for a long time you really
don't know him at all. Gunfire. Police
Sirens. Then the telephone rings and life
goes on.
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The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26, 1993
Engitainment
A 13
Eng-Arts Poetry Contest
Valentine's Day & Others
We want to say thanks to all the great minds,
That picked up a pen, and spewed out some lines.
Poems a plenty we did receive,
To be quite precise, we got twenty-three!
Words from the heart, not always so sweet,
Some of you weirdos, I'd be curious to meet!!
All entered poems will get "p to the fifth",
'Less you wrote it "ANON", then your class will be miffed.
Wish we could print, all that we got,
To show to them all, what Engineers are ..... NOT!
To break all traditions, and live up to a name,
Of a place 0/ relaxation, beer, movies and game
(ie. "POETS' if you're dense or maybe just lame!).
Thanks again to all entrants, to the winner" congrats".
You'Uset some small token and go down in the stats.
It you have any grievance, opinion or beef,
Or want back your poem on that sheet of looseleaf,
Contact us "Artsies" via our box,
We'll be pleased to oblige from the bottom of our socks!!
(P.S. to you ALL this advice I do send,
on the 14th of March come out to TAL-ENG.)
- Arts Directors (fLC)
1 st Prize Wi nner
Chaque fois que je t'entends
Je mesens
Every time I hear you
I feel
Plus proche Closer
De ton coeur To your heart
Chaque fois que je sens ton coeur
Je t'imagine
Every time I feel your heart
I imagine you
Danc;ant Dancing
Pres demoi Near me
Chaquefois que je te vois dancer
Je voudrais
Every time I see you dancing
I would like
Tout laisser To leave everything
And to waltz Et valser
Chaque fois que je veux tout iaisser
Ma conscience
Every time I want to I ave everyt
Myconsdence
Medit Tells me
De m'arn?ter To stop
Mais chaque fois que je m' arrete
Jepense
But every time that I stop
I think
A toi Of you
Et je t'entends. And I hear you.
-Slawo
3BSystems
(original in french)
Second Prize Winner
An Evening of Romance
An evening of romance, a candlelit dinner,
But not one too large, for you need to get thinner.
And after we've finished, our desert will be sweet.
1 hope it is, anyhow, (I got it down the street).
Come to me softly, blow in my ear,
Go to the kitchen, and bring me a beer,
For the heart you have captured, 0' sweet, precious dear,
Is the heart of a beer-bellied, broke Engineer.
My love for you is richer than the fine smell of the rose,
Or so says 'A' appendix, in Bartlett's Guide to Prose.
My love for you is deeper than the rose's shade of red,
What say I pick you up at eight, we'll go get trashed at 'Fed?
Come to me softly, blow in my ear,
Go to the kitchen, and bring me a beer,
For the heart you have captured, 0' sweet, precious dear,
Is the heart of a beer-bellied, broke Engineer.
So won't you please come with me love, and be my Valentine?
We'll meet in bars as 'strangers', and I'll feed you cheezy lines.
So won't you please come sit with me, beside the cheery fire?
I can say sweet nothings, dear, and you can call me 'Liar'.
- P. Westergaard, 3B Electrical/Bad Ohmen
- W. Plaus, 3A Electrical/Flying Flux
A New Day
A stillness grips the morning air,
Still sleeping in a misty blanket.
Glassy waters darkened now,
Since the evening sunset.
But in the east a subtle presence,
Barely noticed at the start,
Slowly gains intensity,
Begins the beating of the heart.
And then the climax reached,
And in an instant past,
The first rays pierce the mist,
Each more intense than the last.
New warmth to ease the damp chill,
To break the hold of the dying night.
And so the blanket rolled back,
Brings new images to sight.
As the mist is broken,
Shards of light cast on the deep blue
Of the glassy surface,
Shatter into a million hues.
Soon these first few coals,
Glowing of orange and red,
Ignite the new brilliance,
A new day, it is said.
- John DeBliek
3B Electrical/Bad Ohmen
The Little
Lady
Snow has fallen.
The windshields are iced up.
A young man walks through the parking
lot,
And there he sees her.
She's slowly cleaning her car,
Like a sculptor chisels at a stone.
She works carefully on this piece of art.
"It'll take her forever," he says.
Then he stops to think,
"She could use my help."
She looks at him with those eyes.
The eyes are innocent but filled with fear.
Society has painted him as a harasser.
Good deeds are not within him.
He is but an animal sighting his prey,
The little lady in the parking lot.
He sadly turns around,
And goes about his way.
For he knows he's been branded
With an image that will never fade.
-Ron Khurana
4BMech
The Nature of Love
Oh lady of the DDuing
what pleasure may 1 bring?
Gifts of gold and silver
or the 8I!l!ds tJbW1
Oh Uidy of the evening
what courtesy may I show?
trea!.1..ITCS or rorgivcre;.<; or the birds of dawn to sing?
r < l>h.,fi drawn by, bow?
Oh Lady of the day
what gratitude can J bestow?
Feelings of wannth and caring
-Orin Paddock
This is not a Love Poem!
This is not a Love Poem!
She is wonderful though,
She has everything you ever wanted in a friend,
But this is NOT a Love Poem!
She showed me true friendship,
She showed me justice,
She showed me how to learn.
But this is NOT a Love Poeml
Once, while watching T. V. late one night,
She fell asleep on my shoulder.
It felt very nice. Very nice.
I felt warm and needed.
But this is NOT a Love Poem!
We sometimes walked in the rain,
We sometimes' walked in the sunshine,
We walked nowhere really.
I just enjoyed walking with her.
But this is NOT a o ~ e Poem!
No! No! Really it isn't[
A Real Love Poem would tell you about her soft hair,
Her warm embrace, the contagious smile.
It would say stuff about her beautiful eyes
Or maybe the touch of her lips against mine.
But this is NOT a Love Poem!
This Poem is about my special friend,
Who has made my life exciting and interesting,
It's a Poem about someone who I care very deeply fOT,
Someone who has touched my life for eternity.
This is NOT a Love Poem!
-Tyron D'Souza
2A Systems Design
A 14 The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
So You Want A Job ...
Woody
IW Staff
W
eli, I imagine it's a little late for
some of you, but if you think
you might end up in second
rounds, I can help. The most important
thing to realize is that the reason you don't
have a job has nothing to do with your
abilities. TIle only reason you don't have a
job is because you haven't read my simple
yet effective guide to finding a job. So here
itis:
The first question you should be able to
answer is: Where should I look for a job?
The answer to this question is your local
newspaper. Yes, every day, hundreds of
employers pay lots of money to advertise
positions in the classified ad section,
apparently oblivious to the fact that
nobody ever reads them! So tum to the
help wanted section now and locate all
the ads that look promising. The best
way to do this is by counting adjectives.
This is illustrated in the two sample ads
shown:
WELDER WANTED - To weld
together certain pieces of metal.
ADMINlSTRA TlVE ASSISTANT -
Young-thinking, fast-moving, forward-
looking, ernerging-growth company with
dynamic, attractive plastic plant-filled
lobby feat uri ng modernis tic,
incomp rehensible sculpture and old,
heavily thumbed issues of Hog Trader
Weekly seeks eager, ambitious,
personable, aggressive, can-do, confident,
hard-driving, highly motivated self-
starter to clean office coffee-related
implements.
The idea being that if the company will
throw hundreds of dollars out the door to
pay for such an ad, they will hire a poor
sap such as yourself in a second!
The next thing you need to do is write a
resume. Now your resume is more than
just a sheet of expensive paper. It is an
expensive sheet of paper with lies written
all over it. In many cases, an impressive
resume can mean the difference between
not getting a job and not even coming
close.
Now a lot of people make the common
mistake of mailing their resume to the
personnel department of a company.
What they don't seem to realize is that the
last thing the personnel department needs
is another employee making more work
for them. The common response you can
expect from personnel is as follows:
A L if e In
W
hen I got up out of bed it was
dark outside. I took off my
pajamas, and as I stood in the
centre of the room, some items of clothing
leapt out of the hamper in the comer and into
my hard I put tren on There was a minty
taste in my mouth, which was strange,
I didn't rem?lllber eating anything. I
walked to the 00thr00m. turning 00 lights as I
went Grnbbing my tooIhbtu;h. I turned on
the water. Then I l.eanOO over the sink while a
while foom ro;e out d the drain to swirl in the
nmning water at the bottom of the sink 1re
foom rol1fded togetre-am jumptrl SlXidenly
into my open lIUlth. I cla;ed my llUlth and
put my toothbrush into it As I brushed, the
minty taste left my lIUlth. As soon as I took
the toothbrush out of my mouth I knew
where the mint had gone: there was bright
green blob of too paste on the bristles. I
grabbed a tube of that suckrl up
the blob as I relaxed my grip around the
tube.Retuming to my room, I sat at my desk
and pulled some books from my knaf60Ck
Once they were spread across my desk, I
grabbed a peocil from the drawer am started
to exase the writing in my notebook Starting
with the final line of the solution and working
from right to left. the point of the peocil Jmsed
quickly over the lines of each letter, making
them disappear without leaving even an
indentation in the paper. OcaIsionally, after
I'd rer:rovOO a number, r d look up from my
paper at my ca1ru1atcr to see the number 1'd
just erase;:i on the display. Sometimes I would
have to push quite a few buttons until the
calru1ator showOO. zero. Then I could get back
to erasing letters from the page. When the
}AIgES were blank, I piled tren on the desk.
By now it was light out. My harrl was
wet, but dried immediately when I ran it
T# STUDENT WORK STAR,..., PAY
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3000 OPENINGS THROUGHOUT ONTARIO
FLEXIBLf HOURS CO-oPS{SCHOLARSHIPS/AWAROS
ALL MAJORS MAY APP\. Y BUILD CO ...... UNICATION SKILLS
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY NO DOORTODOOR OR TElEMARKfTlNC
VALUABLE RESU .. E EXPERIENCE ... ANACEIoiIENT OPl'ORTUNITIES AVAILABLE
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SECURE SU .... ER POSmONS NOW ALL SERIOUS APP\.ICANTS WIll BE CONSIDERED
CUEI.PH
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YORK
BRAHTFORD
VANCOUVER
WATERLOO REGION (519) 571-7890
(519) 837-9211 OlTAWA
(519) eu.oon WISSISSAUCA
(41&) 1148711 ST, CATHARINES
(519) 7522700 HAWllTON
(1104) 322-5021 BURNABY
IF UNES ARE BUSY PlEASE TRY AGAIN.
(1113) 139-9&34

(416) 687 3414
(416) 57302441
(1104) 521- n T3
Dear Mr. Blah,
We would like to express our sincere
thanks for sending us your resume. What
a surprise it was. ' 'Look at this!", the mail
person cried as we all gathered around.
"Ed Blah has been so kind as to send us
his resume!" There was much rejoicing as
we danced long into the night.
Sadly, however, we do not expect to
have any positions available until
approximately the end of time. Rest
assured that your resume will be kept on
file, and will not be disturbed save for
occasional dusting ..
Sincerely,
The Personnel Department
So now y ou are wondering: "Gee
Woody, what should I do with my
resume?". You should burn it now.
Nobody ever reads resumes anymore.
The only reason I told you to write one is
because I like tradition. The best way to
get yourself an interview is to write a
letter to a vice-president. It really doesn't
matter which one, as they all do the same
job. They also all do the same thing with
their mail, which is to write the name of a
subordinate in the top-right corner
The
through my wet hair. changed into my
bathrobe and pickrl up a towel which was
also wet. I walked to the bathroom and stood
in front of the bathhlb. Rubbing myself with
the towel which dried as I used it, I wac; soon
rovered in water droplets. Then I stepped into
the shower am turred the faucet The water
started to flow, and lather <arne up rut of the
drain to cover me. Using a bar of soap, I
quickly collected the lather. When I was
alrnoot dry I turned off the fa\.la!t just as the
last drop> of water were sucked up into the
srower. On stepping out of the shower, I felt
hot am sweaty. Leaving the 00thr00m. I put
on my pgging shoes, shorts, and a t4irt,. and
left the house. After jogging, the hot and
sweaty feeling was gone, am I changed. ,out of
my shorts am
Pulling fds am pans from the dish rack, I
dirtiOO them in the dish water am put tren
beside the sink I opened the kitchen garhlge
and soaped a knife acroo; my plate. As if
attracted by the knife, several chicken bones
flew up out of the garmge to land on the plate.
I put the plate on the table, and sat down for
dinner. The meal carne up in mouthfuls,
which I chewed vigorously. As I chewed, I
mu1d feel the peas am carroIs taking shape in
my lIUlth. When the vegetables were fully
formed, I put the fork into my lllOllIh, slabbed
them. am pulled Item out WIth each forl<ful
that I pulled from my mouth, my dinner
began to acx:umulale on the plate. Using the
knife and fed<, I attadlej the pi6Es d chickm
that I puIIej from my mruth to the bones en
my plate, covering them over with meat.
Once the plate was full, I stood. up and
SCIq'ed the vegetables from my plate into a
1:ig pot, cbawingSOOle lriling wale" up out d
the sink. Shortly after I put the pot on the
stove, the water stopped boiling, and when
the chicken came out of the oven twenty
followed by a question mark, like this:
"Ed?" They do this by reflex then toss the
mail into their "OUf" basket. Hopefully
your letter will get to several vice-
presidents so nobody will d are throw
your letter away. Eventually somebody
is bound to call you for an interview. The
following letter is almost guaranteed to
get you a phone call.
Hey-
So the priest says to the rabbi "But how
do you get the condom to fit over the
entire snake?" Ha hal get it? How about
those Jays? I don't know about you, but I
say we knock off early today.
Take it easy,
Ed ''The Edmeister" Edwards
The main reason they will call you is to
find out the rest of the snake joke. So
make it funny. Well, I guess next issue I'll
have to tell you how to prepare for all the
interviews you'll be getting and how to
behave in them. Youcan'tmiss!
Take it easy,
Woody "The Woodster" Wood
Day
minutes later, it looked quite raw. So I put
everything back into the fridge, after dirtying
the carrots a little in the sink using dirt that
swirled up out of the drain.
With a deft flick on the end of the lace, I tie:i
my shoes and headed for campus. All the
lectures were similar: I'd sit with a notebook in
front of me and use a pen. to erase the woros
and equations, just as r d done the night with
my pencil. Chalk in hand, the professor
erased words from the blackboard as he
spoke. He was erasing the vay same words I
was erasing from my book Occasionally,
he'd rub the boord using a chalk bru.sh. and it
would fill with new words to erase. During
Thamo, I filled a can full of Coke, which I spit
up in gulps as I raised the can to my lips.
When the can was full, I grabbed the metal tab
and laid it flat on the top of the am. This
sealed the Ci:U\ making a !tfffffP sound. Before
the next dN;1 I went to the C&D, where the
cashier gave me some money for my Coke,
which I put in the fridge Just before going
home, I took a some of pages from my
notebook and put them in the tray of the
photocopier. 1re machine swallowed them,
am dispensed a rouple of dimes in exchange
Then I waited in the line next to the
photocopier for a while, until I reached the
end of the line.
Onre I got home, I sat down in front of my
romputer. 1h:!re was a rolumn on the screen
that fd written for the Iron Warnor. The
column was all about a typical day here at
UW, except that everything was happening
brl<wank As I read the crlumn, I tlnJght
about row llll.1dl it reminded d a really good
book r d read last wOO< term,. called "HIre'S
ArnM' by MartinAmis. Wlih a sigh. I began
to type, eoch keystroke erasing a JetEr ...
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26, 1993
A 15
The Sandford Fleming Foundation Waterloo Campus Activity
4306 Carl Pollock Hall, University of Waterioo, Waterioo, Ontario, N2L 3G1 (519) 888-4008
TECHNICAL SPEAKER COMPETITION
The Technical Speaker Competition for W93 took place on February 11. Jagdeep 8achher, Mechanical Engineering, placed first. Other
competitors were Robert Wu, Electrical Engineering; Jeff DiBattista, Civil Engineering; Anita Moorthy, Computer Engineering; Matt Manual,
Systems Design Engineering; Hedy Mosaad, Chemical Engineering. Mami McVicar, Raytheon Canada; AI McGowan, Enermodal Engineering;
Charles Vanoverbeke, Paragon Engineering adjudicated the contest. George Davidson, Mechanical Engineering co-ordinated the competition.
Coming soon: The Sandford Fleming Debates quarter finals: March 8 & 9 in E2 3324 (11 :30 - 1 :00), semi finals: March 10 in E2 3324 (11 :30 - 1 :00) and the finals: March
12 in POETS (12:00). Watch for them! Jan Huissoon, Mechanical Engineering is the Faculty Co-ordinator.
TRAVEL GRANT RECIPIENTS - W'93
Civil Engineering Concrete Toboggan T earn.
ONTARIO ENGINEERING COMPETITION 93
This years OEC will be held the weekend of February 26-27 at the University of Toronto. The competition highlights Entrepreneurial and Corporate Design, Explanatory and
Editorial Communication and Extemporaneous Debates (of which SFF is a major patron).
Todd Malloy
2A Mech
Got
I
t may not be obvious just yet, but the
Society of Automotive Engineers /
Canadian Society for Mechanical
Engineers / American Society for
Mechanical Engineers Student Chapter
has been hard at work since early January.
The purpooe of this article is to shed some
light on exactly what we have been doing.
Let's start with January.
P I a n s
the UW students that we were able to
contact in early December were able to
register before the tour filled up. At 18
students, Waterloo was well represented
amongst the other universities.
Those people who missed out on the
Chrysler tour should not be disappointed.
By the time you read this, 48 tickets are
being sold (outside Poets) for a tour of
Honda's Alliston Assembly Plant
Honda employs two people strictly for
providing plant tours, so kudos to them.
Just so you know what we'll be seeing, this
is the plant where the sleek new Civics are
for March?
the moot: exciting month of all. The Honda
tour promises to be exciting, and that same
week is the SAE International Congress
and Exposition in Detroit. This is an
excellent opportunity to meet people in the
automotive industry and to scope out the
competition for the Formula and Baja
events (most US schools display their cars).
March 11 is the ASME student's night
hosted by McMaster, which includes
dinner and a presentation on the first
mechanical flapping wing airplane. This
promises to be entertaining and the cost is
a reasonable $10.00. A week later ASME is
hosting a dinner and tour of NCR right
here in Waterloo. That same day we will
have a lunch hour presentation on cold
climate testing for the automotive
industry. We are also still planning a
presentation on Lincoln's new Mark vm
luxury speedster although a date hasn't
been finalized. Watch your e-mail in the
next few weeks for further details on all of
these activities or send us at
SAEBMEOiANICAL
In conclusion you can see that
membership has its privileges. Cruysler Canada was kind enough to
sponsor this year's annual SAE Student's
night held Thursday, January 21. The
night included a brief semin on job
hunting, a dinner and presentation
(advert?) from Chrysler, and a tour of their
Bramalea Assembly Plant where the new
'LH' series sedans are built. This was
certainly the highlight of the evening. In
particular, walking along the catwalk a
few stories above the stamping plant is an
experience permanently etched in my
memory. The level of automation in this
plant is mind boggling and there's hardly
a human to be seen! It is unfortunate, but
not surprising, that there was a fifty
student limit for the tour on a first come,
first serve basis. This being the case, only
built This plant also hires co-op students...
\ling aw . y
time, I can honestly say that the annual
Toronto International Auto Show is first
rate, indeed probably the best in North
America. Where else can you see all the
latest production cars, concept cars, race
cars, and some fantastic older stuff
including LeMans winning Ferraris worth
more money than I can fathom? The
$10.00 admission price is certainly
reasonable, but we were lucky enough to
get that cut in half for those twenty
students who attended on Saturday, the
20th of February.
These activities aside, March looks to be
Watch For Our Coupon,
In Every Issue of
The Iron Warrior
r-------,--------
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I .4ge SUB I .99rt SUB I
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receive th<! second 6" subma- I and receive the second fOOl-
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I for 49c. lesser value) for 9ge. I
I Limited one coupon per ptI1Ch=. Limnbd one coupon per
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Offer v:llid 3t 160 Uruversity A,e. Offer v:llid ;It 160 University Ave. I
W.terloo I W:uerloo
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f .. u ........................... _ ....................................................................... .. ............ ---... -....... -..
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No Jacket Required
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A 16
Sports
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26, 1993
The Name of the Sport is Football ...
'Hash' Rizvi
IW Staff
O
r Association Football to be exact
In North America the sport is
known as soccer and football is a
game that is played with your hands; go
figure. But, in keeping with the global
context of the word I will refer to the sport
by it's most prominent name. Football is
often referred to as the global game for one
very good reason, it is the most popular
sport in the world. The second most
popular sport is table tennis. This puts
North American views of global
professional sports domination in a whole
different light.
Football is played on every inhabited
continent in the world and in every
virtually every country. Most countries
also have a national football team. The
reason for it's popularity is Simple, at it's
most basic level it is a very simple game.
All you need to play is a ball and some
open space. The object of the game is also
Simple, put the ball in your opponents net
more times than your opponent puts the
ball in your net without using your arm.
The popularity of football can be
witnessed every four years at the World
Cup. The only sporting event that can
rival the World Cup in audience is the
Olympics, and the Olympics are a
amalgamation of many different sports. It
was eStimated that over 5 billion people
watched the last World Cup in Italy. The
Colin Young
IW Staff
BIC PENS
I don't know. Ask Scott. It was his idea
anyway. Something about the holes in the
next World Cup will be played in the
USA in 19:)4, with the opening game to
be played on June 17 in Chicago and the
final to be played at the Rose Bowl in
Pasadena on July 17. No other sport
generates the kind of excitement and
passion that football does where countries
live and die by the performance of their
national teams.
Unfortunately, in North American
football has never enjoyed the popularity
that other professional sports teams have,
even though football is the most popular
amateur and recreational sport. In
Canada, more children play football than
hockey. A multitude of professional
football leagues have failed, including the
NASL, MISL, and the CSL. The first
attempt at a professional football team
occurred in the early 1970's with the North
American Soccer League (NASL). The
first few years it enjoyed enormous
popularity, due in large part to the import
of veteran soccer superstars from the rest
of the world such as Pele from Brazil and
Franz Beckenbauer from Germany.
Unfortunately, the NASL failed and no
other league has enjoyed as much success
since. This year a new league has been
created with the hope of building up
excitement and anticipation for the World
Cup next year. To see some good football
action watch Soccer Saturday on TSN at
10:00 am every Saturday, or just go out
and play the game.
body. Maybe he's concerned that the heat
from his body won't be vented properly,
and the resulting pressure rise will cause
the pen to explode. I'm sure the engineers
at Bic took all that into account. Doesn't
Scott have anything better to occupy his
mind with? I mean really, holes in Bic
pens, come on.
No DISK SPACE!?
We now have access to the Libra labs.
Great now I can work on the Mac version
of Maple, or Claris CAD. I'd better save
my file. Great No disk space. I must have
a floppy somewhere. OK I'll just mail it to
my Watstar account, it can't be that
difficult Well, it will only take half an hour
to recreate this.
Boxscores
'Hash' Rizvi
IW Staff
T
he Hammer & Screw ice hockey
team has startOO the season with 3
wins and no losses. Unfortunately,
their ball hockey and basketball teams
have started their seasons with no wins
and 3 losses.
The Civerly Damaged indoor soccer
team has gone undefeated so far this
season. This is the same team that won
the Spring 92 Division B soccer title.
'Ya-Wreck' Niedbala has fully recovered
from what seemed to be a serious back
injury at the Engineering Volleyball
Tournament
To have your team's scores included in
the IW drop them off in the IW office or E-
mail them to HR1ZVI@MECHANICAL
The Engineering Brier
'Hash' Rizvi
IW Staff
T
he great tradition of Canadian
curling continues, as witnessed on
February 6 at the Granite Club in
Kitchener. A nail biting finale between the
two top teams determined the overall
wilmer. The tournament structure was a
restricted round robin, where the wilmer
was the team with the highest aggregate
point total at the end of the tournament.
Each team received a 1/4 point for each
point plus 1 point for each end. The
winning team in every game received an
additional 10 points. Each game consisted
of6ends.
The six teams that participated in the
tournament were Sydestic, X-Civ, CCCP,
Indecent Mechsposure, Stressed, and
Team Robert (Math team). Unfortunately,
six teams dropped out of the brier at the
last minute. The deciding game was the in
the third rolU\d between X-Civ (3B Gvil)
and Stressed (2A Gvil). Both teams were
2-0 going into the game, but X-Civ had 33
1/2 points to Stressed' 30 1/4 points. The
winner of this game would be the
champion, but the loser would not
necessarily come in second place, therefore
scoring points would be crucial. The game
was close through five ends, but Stressed
always had the upper hand. By the end of
the fifth end it became obvious that X-Civ
would need an extraordinary end to win
the match and championship. However,
the miracle never appeared and Stressed
won the match, the title, and five cases of
beer. All that remained was to decide who
would come in second Two teams had a
2-1 record, X-Civ and Indecent
Mechsposure, but X-Civ came out ahead
by 21/2 points.
Congratulations to the winning team of
Chris Mundy, Steve Miller, Brad Spiewak.
and Greg Carli from Stressed. In addition,
honourable mention goes out to all teams
that competed in the tournament, to the
tournament organizers, and the Granite
Cub.
I
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
Announcements
A 17
Engineering Development
Pr,ogram
Poets Patron of the Week
T
ransport Canada is offering a new
program to graduated engineers in
Electrical Engineering. The
Engineering Development Program
(ENGDEV) is a 3 year program which will
allow new engineers to gain training and
experience in the Technical Services
Branch, Air Navigation System in
Transport Canada. 1his recently created
program is divided up into two categories:
FOlma! training, and on the job training.
Three different job assignments will be
offered during the ENGDEV program. At
least one of the assignments will be at
Transport Canada headquarters in
Ottawa, while another will involve
working on site at a regional office in
Montreal, Toronto, Winnipeg, Edmonton,
or ViU1couver. On the job, training may
include the projects in:
Systems Engineering
Communications
Air Navigation Systems
Radar and Automation
Telecommunications
Facilities
Quality Assurance
Engineering
Recycling
Jackie Dragert
Recycling Director
U
nfortunately, there are some
engineers who do not read the
Iron Warnor. Hence, for those of
you who haven't read the first issue of the
Iron Wanior, the recycling guide-lines are
again:
The blue boxes are for P.E.T.'s, unbroken
glass oontainers and metal cans.
00 NaT USE THE BLUE BOXES AS
GARBAGE CANS OR FOR
THE RECYCLING OF NEWSPAPER,
OIHERPAPER AND CARDBOARD.
That means no napkins or muffin
wrappers. All non crumpled white paper
can be recycled in the white boxes only.
These are white boxes located in the
oomputer rooms and by the photocopiers.
COmlgated cardboard such as pizza boxes
Some of the projects already being
developed are:
Radar Modernization Project (RAMP)
Canadian Automated Air Traffic System
(CAATS)
Microwave Landing System Project
(MI.SP)
Flight Information Services Automation
(FISA)
Systems Engineering Integration Project
(SEIP)
FoImal training includes familiarity of
the Technical Services Branch
organization, general management
courses, and a range of technical courses to
aid in learning the technical skills needed
for the specialized air navigation systems
used in Canada
Anyone interested in this program
should oontact Transport Canada.
What's the maHer? Can't you hold three pitchers at once?
the Snow Tourney!
Movie Night
Thursday March 4, POETS,
>l1pm
Man:h3,4,5
Outside E2-1302
PLACE TO
SUBLET?
When: Sunday Feb 28
ll:OOam
Where :Columbia lcefield
FREE! - RoadHouse
- BloodSport
-Highlander
All proceeds go to
Anselma House
(shelter and oounselling
FREE Classifteds
for Engineers in the
can be left beside the blue boxes for Newsprint - large blue bin betw n
recycling. Also, there is a corrugated POETS and the C&D in CPH, plus the
cardboard blue bin in CPH outside of the small blue bin between E2 and F3
C&D. Alkaline Batteries - small box in the
Please leave on lids of containers and orifice by Cheryl's desk
empty your oontainers whenever possible. Items that can be recycled, reused or
Please have a little consideration for those disposed. of only off campus are:
who are voluntarily taking the time to sort Egg cartons - the Dutch Boy shop at
your oontainers for pick-up. An open, but Northfield Or. and WeberSt in Waterloo
full pop can makes quite a mess. And not Plastic Grocery Bags - Zehrs grocery
all of the recycling bins have solid bottoms. stores anywhere in the twin cities
Liquid sometimes leaks onto floors and Glossy Paper and Boxboard - the
carpets. On occasion, this has even caused Caroline St. recycling depot located at the
problems with cockroaches. corner of Caroline and Alexander
(newspaper, cans and glass may also be
Other items that can be recycled on recycled at this depot)
campus are: Large Appliances, Furniture, Mattresses,
,
Tires - pick up on annual pring t.vgc item
rubbish coIl tion day (date will b
announced in the local papers) r donate
to Goodwill, Salvation Anny, St. Yin nt
de Paul
A great big TI-IANK YOU! goes out to
all the class-reps who have been helping
out, even despite midtenns.
RECYCUNG TIP OF1HE WEEK
(WeU, it's more of a disposal tip.)
Hazardous Household Waste sucl' as
used oil, empty oil contruners, old paints,
empty paint cans, and solvents may be
disposed of at the Waterloo Landfill,
located on Erb St. West on the way to St
Agatha, on the last saturday of each
month.
Waterloo Engineers'
US PUSH
Saturday, March 13, 1993
for the Big Sisters of KitchenerlWaterloo
A 18
Opinion
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26, 1993
Engitorials
Co-operative Follies
O
nce again, the rant and rave of the
day must be directed towards the
Department of Co-operative
Education. All I can say is, thank
omnipotent bein&5 (Q) that this is my last
workterm approaching and after this, Co-
op's ability to screw up my life will be
diminished
The first time I was compromised by
Co-op was between 2B and 3A. I didn't
receive a job through first rounds and
when I looked at the packages they were
sending out for second rounds I realized
that they were using my 1B transcripts!
Hmm, no wonder interviews weren't
forthcoming. Employers probably
thought I was a pathological liar. Upon
confronting Co-op, the situation was
greeted with a, "Oh, that must be a
problem with the Registrars Office.
Sorry."
Thanks a whole lot.
Now it's my second shot at the can, and
thank the tool that I was cynical and lucky
enough to catch Co-ops goof. On
February 16, I received a phone call from
Ken Riepert, asking me why I hadn't
booked my interview yet 1his led me to
ask, . why I never saw it posted on
interview lists. I was tempted to tell myself
that I had just missed it and was I ever
lucky that Ken was considerate enough to
give me a phone call Then, I stopped in
my tracks. I thought of a friend, Smurphy,
and the ordeals he had a couple terms past.
I said: "Naw, that couldn't be happening
to me. Co-op wouldn't pull a screw up
like that again!"
But that nagging feeling hung around,
so I picked up the phone and prepared to
set my conscious to rest
"Scott Chandler?"
"Yes, that's C-H-A-N-D-L-E-R, and my
ID number is 89118878."
"Did you withdraw from interviews?", I
was asked in such an innocent, yet coy
tone of voice.
"Uh, I don't think so." I said Firmly.
"Well then, you must have withdrawn
from interviews and then re-entered." She
said ever so smugly.
"Sorry, wrong again." I was perturbed.
"Could you please tell me how many
other interviews I've missed?"
Well it turns out that I only missed one
other interview. The rest of the jobs that
went by actually didn't want to talk to me.
But the best part is yet to come.
I travelled to the back dungeons of
Needles Hall to talk to the scheduling
manager Cathy Dettwei1er. At this point, it
must be said that Cathy was helpful and
honestly sorry for the mistake. I asked
how this might have happened. The
response was that it seems the new
computer system is screwing up. (Look
forward to an in depth look at the new Co-
op computer system in an upcoming
Mid-terms, Co-op, the World
and Everything
W
hen last we left our faithful
editor, he was nearing a
nervous breakdown trying to
prepare for the deleterious fate that
awaited him. Three weeks later, he finds
himself facing a task no less odious. Let us
rejoin him and discover what conundrum
he now ponders.
It's been one HElL of a three weeks. No
thanks to the Mechanical Engineering
Department's heinous idea that having
every mid-term in one week is actually
good for students, I may finally have
realized my life long dream of passing all
my mid-terms. Of course, it all hinges on a
particular Numerical Methods
examination but no matter what happens I
will still be impressed with the way things
went I think that after nearly three years
at this university, I have finally learned
how to study.
It come to my attention that this is a
problem that moot engineering students
share. If you were like me, high school
came pretty easily. You didn't really have
to work too hard and you got really good
marks. Classes moved slowly due to the
dimmer students teetering on the brink of
Ad vanced and General streams and
homework was virtually I\01'\-eXistenl You
heard stories about how difficult
Engineering was but you were ready for it
After all, how much harder could it be
than high school?
Enter 0iEM 102. The first thing I had
ever failed in my entire life was that rnid-
term. I went on to breeze through the
course with a heavily belled 52 Of course,
that wasn't the only mid-term I screwed
up in lA but it was the one that hurt the
m<a Through the years, there has always
been at least one subject that scares the shit
out of me when I open up that transcript
about a month after finals. Whether it's
Electricity, Calculus or Thermodynamics
the feeling is always the same. Did I pass?
Do I get to return? I'm sure that this
scenario sounds familiar to a few of you
out there.
My question is this: "Does high school
really prepare us for university?" I know
that if I had the chance, I would gladly go
back to my alma mater and change the
way that all science and math related
subjects are taught I think that the training
which ma;t students receive in high school
is dismally poor. Wouldn't it be nice if the
Ministry of Education re-evaluated a
system that run practically unchanged
for more than half a century? Tunes have
changed and I think that the school system
should change along with them.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that
high school is to blame for all the problems
that rm having. I just think that with a few
modifications, students would come to
university with the necessary tools to
succeed instead of using moot of their time
trying to learn how to study.
I've heard rumours that some
Municipalities are considering de-
streaming schools and throwing
Advanced, General and Basic level
issue.) She cra;sed my name off a long list,
mumbled something about this happening
to over fifty people and that there were
probably many more that they didn't
know about.
When I consider the odds of me not
finding out about the problem, I'm
astounded. If I hadn't applied to a job that
required me to book an interview. If they
hadn't wanted to interview me. If they
hadn't taken the time to call me to make
sure everything was O.K It makes me
think of com.
There seems to be no accountability for
Co-op when we, their clients, get screwed.
We pay them money to connect us with
prospective employers. It seems to me that
most headhunters get paid by the
companies they find employees for, not
students into the same pile. It may be
more SOcially acceptable to eliminate
segregation based on scholastic ability
from schools but who does it benefit? 1his
is the kind of forward thinking that will
keep people with a real affinity for more
advanced topics from reaching their full
potential
Finally, co-op time is here once again
and it seem; that everyone but me a
reason to complain (eg. Scott's Ed.). As
much as I would love to bitch about the
system, I really have no problems with it.
The staff at Needle's Hall managed to
provide me with everything they've
promised. They haven't lost any of my
resumes. They haven't withdrawn my
name from co-op. I've even had some
interviews this term. I just thought that
they might like to hear about something
they did right for a change. I just wish that
the other way around. Co-op has a
headhunting monopoly here that maybe
they shouldn't. And don't just say that
other headhunters aren't interested in us
students. I got a phone call from one just a
couple of days ago. Mark my words Co-
op, mend your ways.
Well, as they say, all things come in
three's, and Grad Ads are just around the
comer.
they would do something about the slot
that we have to drop our application forms
into. Is it just me or does anyone else feel a
strong breeze coming out of that slot? One
of my application forms actually blew
right back out at me. What's on the other
side of that wall anyway? I've heard
rumows of a paper shredder but I digress.
I'd like to close this rant by wishing
everyone good luck with their interviews
this term. Just remember to look 'em
straight in the eye and tell the best lie you
can think of. See ya!
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26,1993
Rhetoric and Technology
A 19
DearIW,
I am writing in response to Carlos
Bazzarella's letter regarding my
"pathetic" article about AutoCad and C.
First I would like to point out that not
once in the article did I claim that teaching
a computer language to all engineers
would make them good "programmers".
The fact is that in the normal course of
work, it is not uncommon to be required
to design simple programs. I am not
talking about complex operating systems
or creating a new word processor.
To use an example from current course
curriculum, a numerical model of a
bouncing ball, is a relatively simple
program, that would take hours of work
to simply change one parameter.
Implementing this on a computer enables
one to experiment more easily with
different parameters, and perhaps gain
some unique insight into the problem. A
graphical display not only makes the
results easier to interpret, but they are
easier to explain to non-technical people.
While a bouncing ball is perhaps not the
most practical example, I think it is
obvious that if a complex process can be
simulated on a computer, the time freed
up in later analysis of the system can be
better spent on other tasks. In any case,
even if a non-proficient programmer is
not going to program the solution, they
had better have some idea of what is
happening in the programming process.
In any case, I did point out in the
original article that the first year
FORTRAN course does not teach
programming. The only reason I list any
computer languages on my resume is
because I have been programming
computers since I first owned a VIC-20. I
may not be able to produce the tightest
and most efficient code, but I can get the
job done in a fairly organized manner.
My whole point was that we should be
learning the tools that would make it
easier for us to apply our knowledge in a
creative manner. It's very diffirult to be
creative if you have a full day of algebraic
manipulations staring back at you. I did
not intend to suggest that we could do
away with professional computer
programmers. We could no more live
without software engineers than they
could live without any of the other types
of engineers.
Colin Young
IWStaff
DearIW,
ON DUST COVERS FOR HARD
COVER BOOKS
This gets deeply ponderous very
quickly, those in the mood for comics
and beer read no further!
I am known by a lot of people as an
obnoxious, loud, arrogant person What
they may not know, is that this is by
choice. What they may also not know is
that I am far from alone. However, an
obnoxious club is not what this article is
really about, so I ramble. What this is
about is not knowing who your friends
are until push comes to shove. Being a
somewhat unapproachable person, I
figured that I was better off alone, and
liked it. No commitment, no pain, no
problems. Then, my life took a wrong
tum and drove off a cliff. Much to my
swprise there were a lot of people there
to catch me at the bottom. People I
would never have guessed to be such
loyal friends, or (god forbid they should
be un-maclio e senslffve 0 my
difficulties.
The biggest swprise of all was that the
most helpful, the most compassionate
people, were the ones most likely to be
seen by everybody else as being even
more obnoxious and loud than myself.
Those with the toughest exteriOIS tend to
be the ones with the softest interiors.
They get the hard unapproachable
exterior by having the soft part jabbed a
couple hundred times too many.
So to those of you all-round together
people, who generally avoid us; go on
avoiding us (we feel safer that way), but
don't for an instant dismiss our ability to
be true and loyal friends. Some of us
may beworth the effort to get to know.
The Wench With The Wrench

Math & Computer Bldg
Room 201 B Ext 4636
Mon. - Fri. : , 0:00 am - 3:00pm
IBM PRODUCT FAIR
Fri., Mar. 5, 1993
10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.
ICR Part.nership Lounge
Davis Centre
Featuring
new RISC SYSTEM/GOOO models,
Colour&Mono ThinkPad
Notebooks,
and
the PS/ValuePoint
Aulhorfz.ed

Instltullon
Dealer
IBM is a registered trade-mark and Personal Systems!' and
ThinkPad and PSNaluePoint are trade-marks of International
Business Machines Corporation. (C) Copyright IBM Canada
Ltd. 1990
Copyright Laws
Ralph Hofllch
IWStaff
C
opyright laws are something that
all engineers wi1l, in some way, be
exposed to during and after their
education I picked up a document which
helps to clarify some of the ambiguities I
had with copyright laws. It was written by
Jordan Breslow, an attorney practicing
copyright law and computer law. I'll try to
paraphrase what Breslow wrote.
Copyright comprises five exclusive
rights. They are:
1. the exclusive right to make copies
2. the exclusive right to distribute
copies to the public
3. the exclusive right to prepare
derivative works
4. the exclusive right to perform work
in public
5. the exclusive right to display the
work in public
Let's say you have purchased a
copyrighted computer program. By
loading it into memory you have
essentially made a copy of that program -
a violation of the first copyright claim.
There is, however a loophole. The
Software Act of 1980 claimed that it was
allowable to make a copy if the copy "is
created as an essential step in the
utilization of the computer program," The
owner of the disk can also make backup
copies, provided that it "is for archival
purposes only." The owner can also give
the original or backup to a friend, or sell it
to him, or lend it to him" long as h<>
doesn't retain a copy of the program. This
would be an infringem nt of the second
copyright claim. The copyright holder
only has rights to the first sal of a copy.
Resales are not considered in copyright
laws. Preparing derivative works, that is,
altering the program and the selling it
under a new name, is also prohibiled. You
cannot alter th program code unless it "is
created as an essential step in the
utilization of the computer program in
conjunction with a machine," For example
giving your program SVGA support for
your own computer would not be an
infringement. Claims 4 and 5 were
established mostly for plays and such,
although it could have relevance with
romputer software.
Copyrights are created as soon as
you've finished a copy of your program.
Everything created by you is copyrighted
by you. Copyrights can be lost in two
ways: if your program was written while
employed, or if you sell or assign your
copyright If you write the program while
at work, the copyright belongs to the
employer.
Everyone's seen the copyright notice. It's
the c with a circle around it , the word
Copyright or the abbreviation Copr. The c
with a circle around it is preferred because
it is recognized around the world, and
these countries have agreed to recognize
and uphold copyrights. To claim a
copyright, place a copyright statement
with your name, somewhere, where it can
be seen by a user.
..

t.' t t
A20
The Back Page
The Iron Warrior, Friday, February 26, 1993
c o

1 c s
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