Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q.

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?

goblin!

A.

Because everyone was a

What is a mummy's favourite type of music? A. Rap music.

Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work? A. A scare centre! What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?

A. The trombone. Where do movie stars go on Halloween? A. MaliBOO! Why didn't Dracula have any friends? A. He was a pain in the neck! What does a bird say at Halloween? A. "Twick or tweet." What does a panda ghost eat? A. Bam-BOO! What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave? A. Lazy bones! What did one casket say to the other casket? A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)
Who did Dracula bring to the prom?

A.

His ghoul friend.

Q. What key opens a Haunted House? A. A spooKEY! Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit? A. A nectarine. Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting? A. "Spook when you're spooken to." Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q.
What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get? What is the problem with two twin witches? A. You never know which witch is which! Where did the ghosts go for vacation? What pants do ghosts wear?

A.

Fang mail.

sand witch.

What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water? A. A chicken What does a ghost call his mom and dad? A. His transparents. What did the skeleton order with his drink? Why did the mummy get a headache? Who won the zombie war?

A.

A. Mali-BOO.

BOO jeans.

A. Nobody, it was dead even. Where did the ghost go on vacation? A. The BOO-hamas!

A.

A.

A mop.

Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library? A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into! Q. How do phantoms travel? A. Ghost to ghost. Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house? A. A wide scream TV. Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat? A. "My eels are killing me!" Q. What do you call candy corn? A. Pumpkin poop! Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy? A. Either a flying bandage or
a gift wrapped bat!

Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q.

What school subject is a witch good at?

What did the ghosts eat for dinner? A. Spoke! What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo? Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?

A. Spelling. A.
A pumpkin patch.

A. Because you can see right through him.

What do you call a witch at the beach? A. A sand-witch.

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? A. Because he didn't have the guts.

Why did the skeleton go scuba diving? A. Because he wanted to get some muscles! Why did the vampire give up acting?

teeth into. other side.

A.

Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his

Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road? A. Because there was a dog on the

Q. What do skeletons say before they start to eat? A. Bone appetite. Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert? A. I scream. Q. What monster wears the most clothes? A. A werewolf! Q. How do you make a witch itch? A. Take away her W. Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class? A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it
again."

Q. Q. Q. Q.

Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?

dance with!

Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom? A. Because he had no body to What is a witch's favourite food? A. Goulash.

A.

Because he had no body to go with.

Why was the little ghost crying? A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q.
aid!

What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat? A. A flying Band-Aid. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks? What do you do when you see a ghost?

way to a Halloween party? A. "Let's get glowing."

A. Run away of course! Where does a vampire keep his money? A. In a blood bank. Why don't skeletons play music in church? A. They have no organs. What kind of dog does a vampire have? A. A bloodhound. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster? A. A cockatoo! What did one ghost say to the other ghost? A. "Long time no see." What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned? A. The dentist. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween? A.
What do you call a mummy eating in bed? Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you? A. To the living room! What is a skeleton's favourite drink?

A.

Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Ghoul-

Q. Q. Q. Q. Q.

A.

A crummy mummy.

sound good to me!

A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones. When do vampires like horse racing? A. When it's neck and neck! What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin? A. I don't know, but it doesn't

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer? A. Puffy! Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school? A. Because he only had one pupil. Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo? A. Because it had no guts. Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A. Frostbite. Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom? A. Broom mates. Q. What do you call two witches that live together? A. Broom mates. Q. What do you call a nervous witch? A. A twitch. Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells? A. Dead ringers. Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable? A. Nightmares. Q. How do ghosts like their eggs? A. Terror-fried. Q. How was Frankenstien's birth? A. Shocking.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret? A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other. Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on? A. Dead-ends. Q. Why don't mummies take vacations? A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind. Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch? A. Life Savers. Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre? A. The actors get stage fright. Q. What song do vampires hate? A. "You are my sunshine!" Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom? A. "I've got a boo boo." Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride? A. A roller-ghoster. Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room? A. Broom service. Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective? A. Sherlock Bones! Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin? A. A plumpkin! Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh? A. Tickle its funnybone! Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch? A. Being her broom. Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe? A. A STAKE sandwich! Q. What did one ghost say to the other? A. "Do you believe in people?!" Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve? A. Auld Fang Syne! Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q. Q.
Where do ghosts get their mail?

What do skeletons say at the front door? A. "Crick or creak!"

A.

At the ghost office.

What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date? A. Any old girl he can dig up.

heads are better than one. sucks!

Why was the big hairy , two-headed monster top of the class in school? A. Because two Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?

A.

Frankenstein, because Dracula

What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost? A. A cariboo! Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?

A.

Because there's no point in it!

What do monsters order in fast food restaurants? Why don't you eat ghosts?

A. They'll go right through you. What games do bats like to play on Halloween? A. Anything with a ball. What do you read on Halloween? A. BOO-ks

A.

French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball? A. He lost his bat. Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat? A. Halloween! Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween? A. A Hallo-weenie! Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar? A. The neck.
TRICK or TREAT IF TWO WHITE WITCHES WATCH TWO WHITE WATCHES. WHICH WITCH WATCHES WHICH WATCH?

Creepy crawler critters crawl through creepy crawly craters Ghostly ghouls gather gleefully to golf on ghostly golf courses. Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins Horribly hoarse hoot owls hoot howls of horror in halloween haunted houses. If big black bats could blow bubbles, how big of bubbles would big black bats blow? Professional Pumpkin Pickers are prone to pick the plumpest pumpkins. Transylvanian Tree Trimmers are trained to trim the tallest Transylvanian trees. Several spooky slimy spiders spun sulking by the sea The ochre ogre ogled the poker. Which witch wished which wicked wish? I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, But if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish. Which witch is the witch who ate the witch which is which

TRICK OR TREAT One sunny day in the middle of the night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf and dumb policeman heard the noise And came and killed the two dead boys. If you don't believe this lie is true. Go ask the blind man he saw it too. Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade! Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!" A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop." A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle. A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"