LESSON 13 Style: Its Not What They Say But How They Say It

Letter A Lucy: Listen, a while ago, I ordered some invitations from your website. I havent gotten them yet. What happened? Where are they? find out! I need them! __ Isabel

Letter B Dear Ms. Mirabella: Three weeks ago, on april 14, I rush ordered two boxes of personalized party invitations from your website (order #123456). To Date, I have not received my order. Please look into this matter immediately as I am in dire need this product. Sincerely, Ms, Lindsey

What did you notice about these two letters ? How are they different? Consider sentence structure, degree of description and detail, and degree of formality. Answer the following questions: 1. which letter is more formal? 2. which letter seems to have been written by someone who knows the recipient well? 3. In which letter is the sentence structure more complex? 4. which the letter is more descriptive and detailed?

Letter A is written in a very casual style, as if the writer knows the reader very well and therefore does not need to use professional approach. Letter A addresses the reader as Lucy, while letter B begins with a formal Dear

Ms.Mirabella. The same difference can be seen in the closing of the letters: Isabel vs sincerely, Ms.Lindsey . Letter A uses short, choppy sentence, and exclamation points, which make the letter sound less formal, more urgent, and more demanding. The writer also uses casual word like listen so that writing sounds conversational. On the other hand, letter B uses longer, more complex sentences to make the letter sound more formal and sophisticated. Letter A does not provide the kind of specific information that letter B does. Letter A tell us the writer placed an order for some invitations a while ago but Letter B tells us the order was placed three weeks ago,on April 14 and that the order was for two boxes of personalized party invitations. Futhermore, in letter A, the writer uses a command find out! whereas in letter B, the writer asks, rather than demans, that the matter be looked into. This politeness reflects a professional distance between writer and reader.

LESSON 14 How They Say It, Part Two : Tone

Letter A Dear client : Thank you for your letter. We will take your suggestion into consideration. We appreaciate your concern.

Letter B Dear Valued Customer: Thank you for your recent letter regarding our refund policy and procedure. We are taking your suggestion quite seriously and truly appreciate your concern.

Which of these letter has a more positive tones? As you can see, letter B is more positive. Why? What do you notice about letter B that is different from letter A?

1. The tone of letter A is best classified as a. sincere b. complimentary c. indifferent Choice c, indifferent, best describes the tone of letter A. There is no indication that the writers of letter A have actually read their clients letter , so theres no indication that they plan to take the clients suggestion seriously. They are indifferent it. Also, the sentence structure indicates that the writers have not put much thought into writing this letter; as a result, the sentence sound abrupt and even unappreciative . 2. The tone of letter b is best classified as a. cheerfull

b. sincere c. apologetic

In contrast to letter A, the writers of letter B are b, sincere. They know exactly what their customer wrote about theres the importance of specifics details again! Theyve also taken the time to individualize the letter; and theyve added words that show they value their customer and their customers feedback.