Matthew Mitchell Gail Richard Composition I Rhetorical Analysis, Final Draft October 2, 2013 Rhetorical Analysis Dear Company

Management, As I began the review of the letter you asked me to analyze by Paul, Ringo, John, and George written to the Alumni and friends of the ABCD Department of Excellence I soon realized why it was so ineffective. There were many reasons this letter failed its purpose of receiving responses in the forms of donations and RSVPs. Each of the reasons can be divided into main categories including: ethos, pathos, and logos. The ethos of this letter or in other words its credibility was damaged for many reasons. The pathos or emotional appeal in the letter was lacking in strong emotional connections. The logos or logical appeal was also lacking in the letter. Due to these deficiencies the letter was found ineffective. However, each of these categories will be analyzed in depth and ways of improving the letters effectiveness will be given. The ethos of the letter or its credibility was lacking for many reasons. The main doubt of its credibility comes into question solely due to all the grammatical errors. For example, this one sentence contains two errors, It has been featured heavy hors d oeuvres, a few cocktails and members of the Department and their spouses. The been in this sentence needs to be deleted, and a comma needs to be placed after cocktails. This is only a couple grammatical errors of many. Another main issue that arose was the lack of information on who you were supposed to RSVP with and exactly who was receiving the donations. The letter list the names of four men to RSVP with but list no contact information or even their last name to have the means to look them up in a phone book. The letter does give a mailing address for donations but all you know is that its going to a Jane Doe, PhD but no connection is made between her and the party. A final

reason the credibility of this letter was damaged is due to the fact that the letter is not on a letterhead, which would very quickly establish a good level of credibility. The ethos in this letter was lacking in many areas but it is not anything that couldnt be fixed. To solve the problem the letter would need to be proofread and edited before it was sent out, more contact information and donation information would need to be available to make the process of RSVP and giving a donation as easy and welcoming as possible, and finally the letter could be printed on a letterhead to establish credibility right from the start. The pathos of the letter or its emotional appeal to the target audience, alumni and friends of the ABCD Department of Excellence, was good but could be improved upon. One way the authors of the letter created a good emotional appeal was by referring to, the tradition of an end of the year party for the graduating class as a mainstay of the Department of Excellence at ABCD. This wording makes the party seem like a big part of the year and if you werent going to be in attendance you would miss out. Although this was a good point it could have been improved upon by making a stronger connection between why the Alumni and friends of the ABCD Department of Excellence were being invited. The authors also made a good emotional appeal by explaining that the party was being funded by the graduating class but they needed some help and asked for it in this letter. Although this was a good appeal to the emotions of the alumni and friends of the department the means by which the donations would be collected and what exactly they would be used for remained somewhat unclear. A list of some items being purchased or even a goal of how much money to raise based on last years party would have helped in giving a clear picture to exactly where the donations would be going. So by improving the rhetoric used in regards to the donations the letter would have done a much better job at appealing to the emotions and therefore producing some donations.

The logos or the logical appeal by the letter to the audience is good but can only be found in why the authors are asking for donations. When it says, Again this year the party will be arranged and financed by the graduating class in order to allow flexibility in the planning and execution of the event. For this reason, we are looking for financial support the authors are clearly making a logical appeal. Although this makes logical sense it could have been more effective if it was followed by another appeal, either logical or emotional. In the case of another logical appeal it could be said that for this party to exceed the level set by last years party some outside funding would be needed. In the example of using an emotional appeal it could be said that last years graduating class had to hold a heavy burden and it may not be possible to have a party as grand as theirs unless some outside funding or donations were received. Although the amount of logos found in this letter was limited it could have been made stronger by expounding upon it. The rhetorical analysis of this letter, although only based on three main themes: ethos, pathos, and logos, was found lacking in all three areas. The ethos of this letter was damaged badly by all the grammatical errors and even the fact that it was officially sent out by the department on letterhead. The pathos of the letter, although good, could have been made stronger by going more in depth on just how important the audience, Alumni and friends of the ABCD Department of Excellence, are to the party. Finally, the logos of the letter was good but just like the pathos could have used some follow up information. Although this letter had many rhetorical deficiencies that caused it to be ineffective in its purpose the problems could easily been seen and therefore easily corrected. Sincerely, Matthew Mitchell