Davy Writing 1: Narrative and Dialogue Assignment 3

12th November 2013

Scene List
Scene 1 The Village Community Centre, Rottingdean, Sussex. The local Sugar Craft Committee, meets to discuss their contribution, for the planned 3 day public event, celebrating the Community Centres 20th Anniversary. The committee is chaired by Amanda de Courcey, and consist of 5 female members, sitting around a table in big winter coats. Amanda tinkles a small silver bell to declare the meeting open. Betty Jenkins, the Caretaker Liaison Officer, bursts into the room out of breath. She slumps into a chair, shivers and then booms in a loud voice to please stack the chairs after the meeting as complaints have been received from the Keep Fit Class which meets afterwards. Veronica compliments Betty Jenkins on her peony broach and thinks it could be the source of inspiration for a sugar craft flower she would like to make for her granddaughters christening cake. Everyone is startled by the sudden screeching noise made by Amandas metal chair moving across the woo den floor. Amanda announces she has managed to book at short notice internationally acclaimed New York based cake designer Dorothy Weinbler, whose famous clients include the Clintons, Donald Trump, Salmon Rushdie, The King of Saudi Arabia, and Prince Harry. Betty Jenkins says she has a friend who is a Sugar Craft tutor for adult learners in Hull and would be much cheaper to book. Amanda then shows a short slide show depicting Dorothy Weinbler creating cake designs at Prince Harrys wedding . Veronica claps. Betty Jenkins opens The Diary and says theyve only got 150 in their budget to spend. She gives a detailed breakdown of the local businesses who contributed. They would expect to have their advertising on display in return. Local businesses including: In The Frame (Dave the local
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picture framer), Jims Electricals (specialising in van alternators and starter motors) and local blacksmith specialising in bespoke handrails and shelf brackets. Amanda says that Dorothy Weinbler has agreed to do the demonstration for free in return for lodgings in an authentic local Smugglers Inn. Betty Jenkins consults The Diary to see if a suitable events room will be available for Dorothy Weinbler. There are no spaces. The largest room is fully booked on the day as the most popular adult learners courses will be demonstrating their skills learned to visitors including: Bridge For Improvers, French For Francophiles, Lovers of Latin and Sussex Before the Romans history group. And a local photographer wants to recreate Saxon life around the Village Pond in an exhibition. Amanda de Courcey says she will sort it. The village Sugar Craft committee take a vote on whether to allow New York based Dorothy Weinbler to give a master class sugar craft skills demonstration on their big day. One member doesnt think an American should be taking the lead for such a historical village event. Amanda de Courcey promises that she personally will fund the finest local ingredients for a local English baker to provide the sponge of any cake exhibited on the day and that Dorothy Weinbler will only be able to exhibit skills such as lacing champagne piped embroidery around the cake. She will also photograph Dorothy Weinbler being presented with the finest crafted sweets created by a local designer to generate local interest and bump up their dwindling membership. The committee votes unanimously in favour of Dorothy Weinbler giving a sugar craft Master Class at the Village Community Centre 20th Anniversary. Scene 2

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Village High Street Bank, Rottingdean, Sussex. Amanda meets with the bank manager, to present her Business Plan, in the hope of being granted a large business loan by the bank to start up her luxury brand De Courcey Chocolates. She has just received a phone call from an agency accepting her offer to rent shop space in exclusive Knightsbridge, London, which is the perfect location for an exclusive chocolate shop. She must fax them a signature for the contract and a large amount of money within 2 hours. This depends on her getting the loan. The bank manager is very late. He asks Amanda to describe in one sentence what makes her business different to all the other luxury chocolate brands around. She says BECAUSE her sweets are the BEST. She freezes, cringes with embarrassment and retreats into silence as has clearly forgotten her well rehearsed pitch. The Bank Manger reads out parts of her completed forms and notes she is currently not in paid employment, has no previous history of an annual income, and smiles at her past charity work, frowns at her no business experience, and raises eyebrows that her husband Donald is a surveyor who can only just about pay their mortgage on their small town house with 60% of the mortgage outstanding, therefore is a considerable risk to the bank if they need to seize her assets to repay the money loaned by them and therefore regrets she is refused a loan. The Bank Manager smiles and relaxes back in his chair, talks with admiration about the dedication of charity workers. His wife rescues chickens and hens who have plucked their feathers out and jokes how all his Christmas present jumpers end up being worn by the birds in winter. Amanda remembers the time when bank workers were phoning people to visit them in their homes and pushing all kinds of great deals on loans for mortgages and businesses and overdrafts etc. The Bank Manager apologizes for tightening up their criteria but in this economic climate they have to be wary of peoples history and credentials. Amanda
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produces a photo of her John Galliano wedding dress she owns and offers it as an asset. The Bank Manager is not familiar with ladies wear. Amanda shows him magazines of herself photographed on the front page of luxury lifestyle magazines and other media sources. The dresses are Haute Couture, exquisitely handmade in Paris and worth a fortune to the right person. The Manager puts on his glasses and views the magazines more closely, but says their bank doesnt specialise in large loans. Amanda produces clippings of Haute Couture designer dresses being sold around the world as collector items for millions. The Bank Manager sits upright. Amanda then produces her pitch. When she was married to her ex husband Sven, she was a philanthropist who raised billions for charities and trusts often giving speeches and organizing large events. Her love of Haute Couture drew media attention which was also good for charity publicity. Now she wants to bring the high standards and exclusivity of handmade Couture into her exclusive chocolate brand. She has found a perfect location in Knightsbridge, and one of the best sweet chefs from Belgium. The Bank Manager suggests cheaper premises such as a kiosk in a train station, less central but still busy enough to catch the everyday commuters. Amanda produces documents and profit projections for the next 3 years. She exhibited her exclusive De Courcey Chocolates at a 3 day show in Earls Court. A buyer noticed the popular interest the chocolates were getting and felt that in a fast moving world of mass production the slow care and unique attention given to the sweets would be the next big trend for consumers. The buyer managed to secure written confirmation from Harrods, Harvey Nichols, and Blenheim Place would purchase them but only if her shop has suitable premises in the Knightsbridge area which is almost impossible to find these days. Amanda then produces email copies from her high connections in the fashion and business world. Shes also managed to get a pass to
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London Fashion week to offer trays of De Courcey sweets to arriving visitors. Fun themes such as sweets presented as precious jewels wrapped in sugar craft lace hats would be appropriate for London. New York, Paris, and Milan would require a different approach. Celebrities and designers would be sent private De Courcey Chocolate gift boxes prior to the London show. Also Dorothy Weinbler the famous international cake designer who has royal/ celeb connections would soon feature on her website raising the exclusive profile of De Courcey Chocolates. The Bank Manager makes a phone call. Amanda looks up at clock. Only 2 minutes are left until the deadline. The Bank Manager says the bank will give Amanda the loan if she can provide the John Galliano dress as an asset to protect the bank against risk of losing their money. Its five minutes past the deadline time. The Bank Manager makes another phone call, and manages to secure the contract on the Knightsbridge premises soon to be Amandas exclusive chocolate shop. Scene 3 Amanda De Courceys house, Rottingdean, Sussex. Amanda returns home and wants to share her good news, and celebrate with her husband Donald, as De Courcey Chocolates now has bank backing and is officially in business. Amanda opens the patio doors and armed with a bottle of fine champagne and two glasses she calls across to Donald who is working on his vegetable patch. He gestures he will be a few minutes so Amanda tip toes in her designer heels cautiously across the muddy garden. She blurts her news. Donald gently enquires about the bank loan interest rates, fees, repayment timescale etc and then emphasises the bank will take everything they own if she doesnt fulfil their conditions. Amanda scolds Donald for his negativity. They are silent for a bit and then he congratulates
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her and kisses her. Amanda wants them to drive to London and have lunch in Mayfair, with an old restaurateur friend of hers from Paris to celebrate. They have the finest wine list, best cheeses from south west France, and can have fresh fish of the day flown in from the Saint-Jean de Luz fish market. Donald picks up his muddy boot and stamps his spade into the ground, digs up a clump of vegetables and suggests they celebrate at home with food from their garden. Amanda then suggests another London restaurant that serves freshly caught Somerset and Cornish turbot , and wouldnt it better to have a designer create a Japanese minimalist garden to save him all this work. Amandas landline phone rings from indoors. She tip toes at high speed to make the phone but trips over some old empty plastic ice cream cartons. Her heel snaps off into the mud. She falls through the open patio doors into her living room and lands face down with her champagne bottle and glasses smashed beside her. Scene 4 Amanda and Donalds living room. Amanda then crawls to answer the telephone. It is her ex husband Sven who has just flown into London, and wants to meet up for a spot of lunch and shopping. Amandas stockings are torn, covered in mud, mascara smudged, and her hair dishevelled and smelling of champagne. She is shocked to hear from him. Sven fills the silence and says he bets she knows the best tailors for mens suits and shirts in London. She sarcastically suggests he gets his personal assistant Linda Baker to help him, as she was always very good at spotting a bargain on Ebay AND being very accommodating like most of his distractions. Amanda is thrown off track by Svens unexpected pleasantness and his apparent interest in her daily life. She responds to his questions telling him she has just
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been tending to her vegetable patch with her partner Donald and is Chair of the Village Sugar Craft Committee. Sven says he is in London looking for a job. He has been sacked from his high position at a top Dutch bank. He curses the Dutch publics puritanical revolt against bankers large profits and says Britain treats bankers better. Amanda remembers his talent for figures and hiding things which is why she got barely nothing after their divorce and only 40% of her mortgage is paid off. She complains she had to spend the morning begging to a lazy bank manager who looked like he was more interested in planning his golf retirement ,so dont come to her for help. Sven says he still loves her and knows she cant be happy with boring old Donald and his boring old vegetable patch or chairing a small Village Sugar Craft committee. Amanda slams the phone down. Scene 5 Amanda and Donalds house, Rottingdean, Sussex. Amanda and Donald return home after an evening in their local pub celebrating the good news of Amanda securing a business loan for De Courcey Chocolates. After a drunken and giggly climb up their creaky stairs Donald grabs Amanda and pulls her into the spare room forcefully and starts to kiss her. She freezes and pulls back. Donald throws himself onto the spare bed and the shudder causes one of Amandas dresses to fall from the hanging onto his face. He spits out a feather and then starts to roughly fling it away from himself. Amanda screeches and retrieves the dress from him. Donald slurs the spare room will be his daughters bedroom when she comes to stay. Amanda agrees but she had the ceiling hanger specially fitted to support the dress which is staying. Donald sits bolt upright angry that Amanda is putting her dress before his daughter, and Amanda argues back that in actual fact it is more than just a dress, but a John Galliano
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creation made with painstaking care and worth a fortune. Donald spites her rejection of his sexual advances as proof of her coldness and need to always behave like a man in sex. Amanda argues it took her by surprise seeing him be forceful and spontaneous. Donald accuses her of being sarcastic which she rejects. He then mocks her for being stupid and wasting her business loan on buying this John Galliano dress. Amanda points out that she has had it for years and that Sven brought her the dress. Suddenly Donalds face is crazed and he grabs a craft knife from the floor. Amanda backs off. Donald jumps to his feet and wildly starts to try and slash Amanda with the knife. She realizes he is trying to attack the John Galliano dress. Within minutes they are both on the floor wrestling and pulling each others hair. Donald starts crying and his body goes limp. Amanda holds him and strokes his hair. For a few minutes they are silent and tender. Then Donald blurts he has been made redundant from his surveyors job and he will never be able to afford the solicitors fees to gain fair access to seeing his young daughter Lucy again. Amanda watches the colourful gems on her dress glistening beautifully while stroking Donalds hair and reassures him everything is going to be okay. Scene 5 The Smugglers Inn, Rottingdean Village, Sussex. The big day of the Rottingdean Village Community Centres 20th Anniversary Celebration has arrived. Dorothy Weinbler is due to give a Master Class sugar craft demonstration. Dorothy has flown in from New York the previous night and just spent her first night at the Smugglers Inn. She enters the small breakfast dining area which is the same cramped dimly lit space with low ceiling beams she had eaten her evening Smugglers Fish and Chips meal the previous evening. However the
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candle lit lanterns are gone and the beer barrel tables are now covered in white lace clothes, teapots, tea cups, and glass jugs of warm tomato and orange juice. The landlord serves her a cooked English breakfast, with locally sourced bacon, eggs and sausages. Dorothy Weinber asks where the Visitors Comments book is kept. The landlord says they dont have one. Dorothy then tells the landlord that after she had her Smugglers Fish and Chips she went to her room to sleep but was woken at 1am by young people laughing and shouting outside the pub, on the street, next door but one. Then she was woken intermittently by a toilet flushing all night in the room below her. She also heard late night music coming from the attic flat on the other side of her. And then when she finally fell asleep at 5am she was woken abruptly by a delivery van in the High Street. The Landlord apologises and says she will try to find another room. Dorothy doesnt see how that will change anything and will not be staying another night. The landlord clears the table and returns to the kitchen. Dorothy gets up to leave. She pushes her chair backwards and is locked in by another breakfast diners chair behind her. They spend the next 15 minutes scuffling chairs back and forth unable to free themselves from the cramped space. Dorothy leaves with a very irritated look on her face. Scene 6 The Village Community Centre small car park, Rottingdean, Sussex. The Village Community Centre is celebrating its big 20th Anniversary. Local groups, organizations, businesses, charities, parish counsellors, have been invited to give talks, exhibitions, and promotions for the next 3 days. Local media are invited and it is an opportunity to promote the historical importance of Rottingdean and the Community Centre which is the heart of the village
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community life. Amanda do Courcey , Chair of the Village Sugar Craft Committee, has booked renowned cake designer Dorothy Weinbler under the pretence of attracting local interest in sugar craft and bumping up their dwindling membership. Her real motive is to photograph herself presenting Dorothy Weinbler with a luxury hamper of De Courcey Chocolates to be used on her own website to promote her Couture Chocolate Shop in Knightsbridge, London. Amanda arrives early at the Community Centre car park as she has a lot of satin and flowers to dress the main hall with which is where Dorothy is due to give her Master Class. Fellow sugar craft member Veronica is unpacking chairs and cake stands and direction signs saying Sugar Craft Event this Way from her car. Amanda rushes past Veronica and thanks her for agreeing to look after her John Galliano dress at her home and is sorry she cant stop to talk but has a lot to do with dressing the main hall before Dorothy arrives. Veronica calls after her that Amanda is late and missed the whole event and that she is on her way home. Amanda looks puzzled before realising she is not wearing her every day watch which is 3 hours behind time. She starts to faint with shock. Veronica rushes over with a chair to support her. She tries to reassure Amanda it went so well that right now Dorothy Weinbler was just having her photograph taken with the Mayor of Brighton who is a big fan of hers. Amanda tries to stand up quickly but falls back down on chair then with determined effort grabs Veronicas shoulder aggressively and with great force levers herself to a standing position and then speeds off into the centre. Scene 7 The Village Community Centre, Rottingdean, Sussex.

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Amanda is inside the Community Centre with the desperate intention of being photographed with Dorothy Weinbler to feature on her website and promote De Courcey Chocolates. She speeds down the corridor past The Kipling Room on the right (various huddles of chairs with groups showcasing their skills and knowledge including: Latin, French, Computing, Handel For Beginners, The History of Sussex Before the Romans. A long table with people quietly playing Bridge is adjacent to them. A photographic exhibition to recreate Village Pond Life during Saxon time has been built. Eventually Amanda reaches the main hall she had managed to reserve for internationally famous Dorothy Weinblers Master Class but finds Betty Jenkins the Caretaker Liason Officer has gone over her head and crammed it full of local businesses, with stalls exhibiting advertising for their products, and Dorothy Weinbler has been pushed back into the small back room. Dorothys Master Class table is makeshift boxes with an old bed sheet thrown over it and wedged in by 6 metal hard chairs for spectators. Amanda cringes when she catches sight of Betty Jenkins ushering Sylvia over for a photograph with the Mayor of Brighton ,while shaking her head saying if it had been her she would never have used dummy tiers for that cake at Donald Trumps wedding. The photographer gets into position. Amanda barges through and positions herself on one side of Dorothy Weinbler ready to present De Courcey Chocolates. Just as the photographer is about to take the photo Betty Jenkins now appears with some local business people who she thinks should also be in the photograph. Now Jim from Jims Electrical Supplies is wedged between Dorothy and Amanda. The photographer tells him to straighten his sweatshirt so people can see the writing If you find cheaper van alternators in Sussex we promise to match the difference. Suddenly the shot looks like Amanda de
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Courcey is presenting her luxury Knightsbridge De Courcey Chocolates to Jim whose sweatshirt boasts he sells the cheapest van alternators in Sussex. Before Amanda can register the reality of the situation the photographer has taken the photograph ready to be featured in all the local newspapers in Sussex. Scene 8 Veronicas house, Rottingdean Village, Sussex. In Veronicas craft and sewing room. Amanda de Courcey is at Veronicas house. Veronica is a fellow Sugar Craft Committee member. She is looking after Amandas priceless John Galliano Haute Couture dress. Amanda has paid her a visit to give advice on careful hanging and safe storage of the dress which is in Veronicas private craft and sewing room. They are both in the room and Amanda is explaining the dress has been promised to the bank as an asset if she should not repay them their money for her business loan. Amanda stresses the importance of safe guarding the dress. Veronica reassures her that her husband never uses her room and she keeps it locked for the protection of her visiting grandchildren as she has many sharp objects in there. Both the women admire the dress which resembles a hanging sculpture, a single piece of bewitching jewels and fabric crafted by an army of dressmakers . Veronica has felt extreme pleasure seeing the dress every day. It has even been the source of inspiration for her new sugar craft creations. The dress is the only thing Amanda has left from her beautiful Haute Couture collection. The only reason her ex husband Sven didnt notice the value of her dress when they divorced (he managed to hide his assets on paper but inflate Amandas) is because his attention was always elsewhere especially other

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women. Veronica said if she had never been lucky enough to have a beautiful dress like that she would fight hard to never let it go. Amanda discusses her visit with to the Bank Manager who gave her the loan. They both agree the Villages Bank Manager is a stupid old o af waiting to retire and play golf. He wants his son to take over however his son works for a big bank in Brighton and doesnt want to leave the big prospects of working in one of the city banks. Even the national housing Charity Affordable Shelter had just been on the Sussex Radio show mentioning how this bank had made large donations to their charity which would make all the difference to rough sleepers and those about to lose their homes. Amanda recounts how her husband Donald has just lost his job as a surveyor and had large solicitors bills. Donald is trying to gain legal fair access to his daughter Lucy. Amanda asks Veronica if she can recommend a reasonably priced solicitor. Veronicas husband belongs to a fundraising charity set up by local businessmen so perhaps she might know some. Veronica says she doesnt know any reasonably priced solicitors. Amanda de Courcey jokes and wishes a guardian angel would appear from nowhere and make her a large donation. Suddenly Amandas mobile phone rings. Scene 9 Veronica craft and sewing room, Rottingdean Village, Sussex. Veronica leaves the room so Amanda can take her phone call in private. Amanda is deflated about her problems with Donald but feels a strange intuition her luck is about to change. She answers the phone cheerfully. It is her ex husband Sven. He has a job. The salary isnt as much as he is used to but the prospects are good. He wanted to share the good news with someone special.

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Amanda becomes tense and suggests he should ring his personal assistant Linda Baker. Sven continues in cheerful mode. Amanda is thrown by Svens recent lack of anger when responding to her. He wants her to come to London, at his treat, and experience pastries, sweets and cakes made by some of the finest couture pastry chefs he has ever discovered. There is a brief silence and then she agrees. Sven sounds overjoyed in his voice and Amanda finds herself smiling at this new trait of generosity and more playful side. Veronica knocks on the door to come back in. Amanda tells Sven she will text him later about meeting up but has to go now. Veronica enters room and is surprised to see Amandas smile so big and eyes so alive, something she has never seen since knowing her. They fuss over the dress arranging its hanging together. The women share a feeling of joy and passion together. Amanda has a message on her voicemail. Its Sven he tells her not to text as in the past he has caught Linda Baker checking his text messages and emails as she gets very jealous. Amanda throws her phone on the floor. She realizes how stupid she has been and how much she actually loves Donald. Suddenly she sees his reliable trustworthy transparent character as something intoxicatingly attractive. Shes going to prove how much she loves him. Scene 10 Amanda de Courceys home. Rottingdean Village, Sussex. Amanda has decided to sell her precious John Galliano dress. If she gets enough money she will use the money to pay a good solicitor to help Donald gain legal access to his daughter Lucy and will make sure she has her own bedroom. She will personally ensure it is decorated to the best standard. And

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perhaps pay off some of their mortgage. Amanda wants to make them feel like a family unit and prove her commitment to Donald. Amanda feels less attached to the dress and wants it gone. She auctions it on Ebay. Someone bids for it immediately. Thankfully it will cover enough for solicitors bills and most of her outstanding mortg age. To her surprise someone else bids over the price she would expect for the dress. Amanda thinks it s too good to be true and should quit while she is ahead. She signs out of her account. Collectors can be unpredictable so perhaps the bidder was sincere. Amanda imagines what it would be like to own her own shop and not be at the mercy of landlords. Amanda signs back onto Ebay. To her amazement the anonymous bidder has now offered 3 million pounds and will credit the money into her account immediately if she will take it off the market and guarantee them the sale. Amanda agrees. Scene 11 Tea Room cafe, Rottingdean, Sussex. Donald is waiting outside the Tea Room cafe for his ex wife to drop off their 8 year old daughter Lucy so he can spend the afternoon with her. Amanda is also due to join them for a cream tea. Amanda wants to prove her love and commitment to Donald and make an effort to be a family unit with his daughter. It is hoped this will also go in Donalds favour when he attends court to try and win better legal access to see his daughter. Donald is pleased that Amanda has sold the John Galliano dress and broken her attachment to her previous life, especially her ex husband Sven. He is touched that Amanda wants to personally redesign the spare room so it is officially Lucys bedroom when she eventually comes to stay. Amanda will use the money from selling the dress to

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pay Donalds large legal fees so he can take his ex wife to court and gain more legal access to see his daughter. Now they discuss plans as a family eg holidays. Amanda arrives outside the Tea Room early to meet Donald. They kiss and hug warmly. Amanda has lots of shopping bags and is excited. She shows Donald a scroll of luxury wallpaper and a catalogue with an exquisite dressing table, chair and lamp she has ordered for Lucys bedroom. Donald laughs as Lucy is happier in rugby shirts and has no interest in makeup and loves muddy sports. Amanda looks worried so Donald hugs her and changes the subject picks some books out of her shopping bags. Amanda is smiling showing Donald the fine cuisine cookery books she has got him as a present as he had expressed an interest in learning to cook now he will be at home more. She also has him a new trowel (with a designer handle) for his vegetable patch which he finds touching as she always hated the vegetable patch and wanted it paved over. Donald has booked a table at Amandas favourite restaurant in London for the evening so they can properly celebrate the launch of Amandas business De Courcey Chocolates. Amanda has made an offer on a shop in Rottingdean so she can work closer to home. She will maintain the same Couture standards with her chocolates and work hard to turn them into a luxury brand and use the internet to broaden her market audience to also include rich overseas clients. Amanda leaves Donald outside the tea room while she pops across the road into the bank. They kiss and hug warmly and Amanda says she wont be long. Scene 12 The High Street Village Bank, Rottingdean, Sussex. Amanda de Courcey visits her bank to discuss the 3 million pounds payment she has received from a private buyer on Ebay for her

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John Galliano dress. The bank had contacted her the previous day to confirm the payment had gone into her account. As it is such a large amount she wants to arrange an appointment with the Bank Manager to discuss how to wisely get the most out of the money. She also wants to know the terms and fees for being released from the business loan they have given her as she doesnt need it anymore. And she wants to know the conditions and fees for paying off the mortgage on her house early. Also Amanda has made an offer to buy a shop outright and wants to know how her bank and the sellers bank will manage the transaction. Amanda queues in the bank and then discusses all this with the clerk. He taps the keys on his computer and studies the screen for a moment and then quietly makes a phone call. He wants Amanda to take a seat and wait as the bank needs to confirm some details with her. Amanda wants to know if there has been a problem with the payment but the clerk does not know and is not at liberty to discuss it. For 10 minutes Amanda fixes her eyes on the customers interview room door as it swings open and shut as various staff members come and go. A television positioned high on the wall is playing an episode of Dragons Den(one of the billionaire businessmen is demanding a 40% share of mans business as the man desperately tries to persuade the billionaire to give him a hundred thousand pounds he needs to get his business idea of the ground). The bank clerk is on the phone and Amanda strains to hear what he is saying. Amanda hears a police car siren speeding loudly past the bank outside. A strange contrast with the quiet high street with its small village houses pushed together and tea rooms, antique shops and village bakery and butchers crammed in between them. After the loud police siren the silence seems deafening. Amanda unzips and then zips up her bag and coughs to break the silence.
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Then a tall stocky man dressed in a suit that is too tight for him bursts into the bank maintaining formal eye contact and aggressive confidence as he walks towards her. He wants to know if it is her parked car that is blocking his car in his parking space which he now cant get out. Amanda spends 5 minutes trying to persuade him that it isnt her car before finally he leaves. The bank clerk puts a sign up to say his position is temporarily closed for an hour. The bank clerk looks stressed and keeps checking messages on his phone and glancing at the door that leads onto the street. As he makes his way out towards the street he passes Amanda, and to their surprise she grabs him very forcefully by the arm, and pulls him towards her which nearly knocks them both off their feet. They both look very startled. The clerk is sweating and quickly replies Amanda wont have to wait much longer. When the clerk disappears out the door Amandas eye follows into the distance. A familiar looking figure passes by the shops on the other side of the road. Amanda mutters the name Linda Baker under her breath. Linda Baker was Svens personal assistant when Amanda was married to him but now his Svens partner. Amanda struggles to find her glasses from inside her bag. The figure has disappeared and Amanda thinks her mind must be playing tricks on her. Her confusion is broken when a bank worker appears in the doorway of the Customers Interview Room and shouts her name Amanda de Courcey, having called it a number of times. Scene 13 Customers Interview Room, Rottingdean High Street Bank, Sussex. Amanda de Courcey is called into the Customers Interview Room as the bank would like to confirm some details

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with her. Amanda wants advice on how to invest the 3 million pounds she has received (from selling her John Galliano dress on Ebay) and would like to know the fees and conditions for being released from the banks business loan to her , which she no longer requires. The bank employee interviewing her is a woman in her late twenties. She begins with informal chit chat saying how much she loves the Village of Rottingdean, and rents an attic room right above the butchers. Its tiny but she hopes to stay here etc Amanda requests to discuss being released from the business loan. The woman needs to check some details with her first. She reads from the original loan contract drawn up by the bank, which Amanda signed, and wants her to confirm her details and signature which Amanda does. The woman notes Amandas husband Donald was no longer receiving a salary when she signed the bank loan and yet didnt declare it. There is a knock at the door. Another bank clerk enters the room, deposits a file on the womans desk and then leaves. Amandas response is she didnt know Donald had lost his job at that point. The woman ignores her and points out that if Amanda and Donald no longer had a guaranteed salary to pay the mortgage on her house then how can the house be used as an asset to secure another loan. Not only did the bank risk not getting back their money they had loaned her for her house but also the money they had loaned for her business De Courcey Chocolates. That was a huge amount of money the bank had loaned and risked losing. Amanda laughs sarcastically and points out they must be making a huge profit with all the interest they add to all the mortgage and business loans. Amanda demands to see the Bank Manager. The woman seems irritated and points out the bank risks not only losing their own money in loans but all the losses incurred by not having the loan money to invest on the financial markets plus the
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reduced value of the money over time. Amanda is silenced by the facts. However she makes it clear she would never risk losing their home to the bank if she knew Donald had lost his job. The woman confirms with Amanda that giving misleading information during a loan transaction is a criminal offense. Raised voices and shuffling noises can be heard just outside the door in the corridor. The woman interviewing Amanda marches over and opens the door abruptly to see what the noise is and angrily shouts DO YOU MIND!. The bank clerk and another woman are standing outside the door looking startled and sheepish and then leave. The woman continues the interview. Amanda agrees and apologizes but she really didnt know Donald had lost his job. Then she insists on making an appointment to see Mr Everest the Bank Manager. The woman says that it is not possible as Mr Everest retired on Saturday and then quickly moves onto more questions. She wants to know where the payment for 3 million pounds into her account came from. Amanda slaps the desk and insists its her money and none of their business. The woman reassures her its just standard security bank procedure which they have to do with everyone and she has no say over the rules. Amanda says the money came from a private investor who wishes to remain anonymous. The woman wants to know how Amanda knew this private investor and does she have records of this. Amanda adjusts her neck scarf and then says the investor was an old friend she met in the Haute Couture Fashion circles in Paris. The old friend was married to an oil and gas tycoon. They had worked as philanthropists together. The friends husband had experience in the past as a successful investor making his fortune buying shares in highly profitable businesses in health care, pharmaceuticals and military high tech industries. He wanted to support his wife in her desire to have her own business interests.
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The bank woman wants to know what share of the business her friend wants. Amanda stutters for a minute before spurting out she wanted a 40% share in Amandas business. The bank woman thinks it strange that Amanda and her friend/private investor dont have a signed contract. Amanda explains that her friend completely trusts her. And they are both passionate about the idea of handmade De Courcey Chocolates reflecting the highest Couture principles, making clients feel unique and reinstalling their sense of being an individual, especially in a world where everything is mass produced in a ready to go fashion. Her husband was sold on the story of their business and thought the profit projections for their first year in business would be outstanding. The bank woman thinks this is odd. She doesnt know much about fashion but she does know Haute Couture is a very small part of the fashion industry, not known for big profits and seemed more akin to building a long term brand with loyal cult like following and therefore the principles didnt lend themselves to big profits in the first year. Most investors would know this. The bank woman suggests that perhaps Amanda received the payment because she has sold a very valuable item. Amanda insists she has nothing of great value to sell. The bank woman says thats not what it says on her bank loan agreement. And could it in actual fact be the John Galliano dress she has sold. The dress which had been promised to the bank should she default on the repayments. Amanda had signed a legal contract agreeing the bank could seize her dress for their ownership if she didnt repay the bank their money. Amanda grabs the loan contract out of the womans hand and flings it across the room and shouts that she doesnt want the bloody loan anymore. The bank woman buzzes the requires assistance staff back up silent alarm while responding to Amanda that was not the case when she tried
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to sell the dress and therefore was breaking her contract with the bank. Amanda softens in her tone and says cant they forget all this formality. Surely with 3 million pounds in her account the bank will also benefit. The woman says its too late for that now. Someone spotted the John Galliano dress on Ebay and reported it to the police as stolen property not originally belonging to Amanda. The bank could not accept the payment of 3 million pounds for the dress into her account until the exact owner of the dress was established. And the buyer withdrew their offer on the dress after being asked to give a police statement. The bank was also withdrawing the business loan for De Courcey Chocolates. The bank woman advices Amanda to find a good solicitor as the shop in Knightsbridge would also expect payments. She also hands Amanda some leaflets on great deals for taking out bank loans if you cant pay bank loans and the procedure of foreclosure should the banks needs to seize her house to sell at auction. As for the dress it was out of the banks hands now and her case had been handed over to the police for investigation. Scene 14 Rottingdean Village High Street, Sussex. Amanda leaves the Customer Interview Room and is standing in the doorway of the bank facing onto the high street. The bank clerk releases his hand from her elbow. He had been called upon to provide extra assistance and escort her off the premises. He acts more like a carer propping up someone who is in shock. The clerk checks that Amanda is ok and then leaves. She does the best she can to hold herself having just been told she has lost everything and now under criminal investigation by the police. Donald waves and calls her from across the street. He is still waiting outside the Tea

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Room. He urges her to hurry up but is smiling patiently and warmly. He is waving a big pan. Amanda squints and then realises its the large heavy aluminium stew pan from the shop next door. They had joked about him having stew on the table when she got back from a hard day at work in her shop in Knightsbridge mixing with the rich and famous. Amanda starts to relax. She realizes Donald is a good earthy man. And as long as there is love they will somehow make it as a family with his daughter Lucy. All these material things mean nothing. Amanda warms to the sun on her face and smiles back at Donald. She unzips her bag and takes out some rose water spray to cool her neck. She releases a big breath, as if to release the burden of her carrying her past self, and is ready for her new life, as she steps out of the bank door and onto the pavement. Then she crashes into a man who is deeply in conversation and not looking where he is going. He apologizes. The man is her ex husband Sven! Mr Everest the Bank Manager is standing next to Sven and introduces him to Amanda saying he is their new Bank Manager and wonders how they know each other. Amandas face tries to make sense of this new unbelievable information and then things suddenly fall in place. She realizes that some of her dresses were in Svens name. Money was always pouring out of both their accounts and she left him to decide which one for the purposes of tax. The John Galliano dress which is the only dress she had left must still be in his name. Amanda is sneering that surely he had taken enough during their divorce, and wasnt it enough for him that she had been left with nearly nothing and now he had come for her only dress. She had been married to him long enough to not be fooled by his ability to hide his own assets always to maximize his own gains. What kind of little shit behaved like that and yet was treated like a mini god. Sven seems genuinely confused and says he doesnt
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know anything about her dress. Whatever happened in the past hes more grown up now and isnt that low. Now a woman is calling Sven from across the street. She is coming out of the florist, next door to the Tea Room and has a bunch of lilies in her hand. Its Linda Baker Svens personal assistant and new partner. The thunder bolt realization hits Amanda. Linda Baker shops on Ebay all the time. Sven said she had been listening into their phone calls. She must have been jealous and reported the dress to the police. She did all his paperwork and would have known the dress was in Svens name. Sven paid no attention to her dresses. Amanda storms across the road calling Lindas name. A car knocks her to the ground. Donald and Linda Baker both run to her aid. Donalds daughter Lucy tries to also run over to help her but her mother pulls her back and they watch from the pavement. Amanda struggles to her feet. Linda Baker helps steady Amanda and helps her to stand. Donald thanks Linda. Amanda tells him not to thank her. She has just ruined their life. Amanda confronts Linda about the John Galliano dress on Ebay and knows she reported it to the police just because she was jealous. Linda denies it but Amanda sees guilt in her face. Amanda demands Linda confesses and when she continues to deny it Amanda grabs her by the collar. Donald pulls her off , and tells Amanda that Linda is innocent, and then apologises, and thanks Linda for helping Amanda. Amanda is so angry that Donald is taking Lindas side that her temper flares up and she starts shouting in Lindas face demanding that she confesses the truth. When Linda denies it was her who reported the dress to the police Amanda grabs the big heavy aluminium stew pan that Donald had purchased for their cosy winter stews and starts bashing Linda repeatedly over the head shouting Dont lie to me. Dont lie to me. Dont lie

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to me. Linda collapses to the floor with half her skull smashed open and brain matter and fluid sprayed over the Tea Room chintzy curtained windows. Scene 14 Criminal Defence Lawyers office, Sussex (some months later) Amanda de Courcey is meeting with her defence lawyer to discuss her forthcoming trial. She will on trial for murder. Linda Baker died instantly from multiple lacerations to the brain after being hit over the head repeatedly with the stew pan by Amanda. Her defence lawyer is updating Amanda on her position so far in the case .Although a prison sentence is inevitable Amandas defence lawyer wants to plead diminished responsibility to reduce the term. The lawyer wants to argue that Amanda was in shock before killing Linda Baker with the stew pan as she had been hit down by a car and the shock caused her to lose control of her senses. However the prosecution will argue that the car only dislocated Amandas hip and not her head and therefore she was in control of her senses. And it was premeditated cold murder as Amanda could not come to terms with her ex husband having an affair with Linda Baker when she was his personal assistant. Also mobile phone records show Amanda had contacted her wealthy ex husband Sven on a number of times during the last month when she had been in great need of money. She had also lied about Donalds salary when trying to apply for a business loan, and attempted to sell an asset promised to the bank, on Ebay. Hours before the murder, when she was not in shock she had been acting very aggressively. The bank clerk confirmed she yanked his arm in the bank and the Customer Interviewer woman said she had grabbed the loan contract out of her hand, shouted and deliberately

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knocked her mug of tea over. Its all of CCTV camera and proved Amanda had the character of a premeditated liar and a cheat with a violent temper capable of murder. Amanda is deflated and slumps in her chair. She has lost weight and her clothes are looking a bit dishevelled. The lawyer gets up and collects their mugs to declare the meeting over and thinks its all a lot to take in. Amandas coffee remains untouched with a fermenting skin on the top. The defence lawyer thinks it is better for them to be prepared for the worst case scenario now so they can build a convincing case in her defence. Amanda shrugs. She thinks things cant get any worse in the sure knowledge she is going to prison. The lawyer disagrees and it is vitally important Amanda tells her everything because she doesnt want any surprises in court which the prosecution could use against them. She opens the door for Amanda, more as an act of care, and then tells Amanda the type of sentence she is given will have a big impact on her future. Amanda pauses, her brain struggling for decisions, and unable to decipher if her admission of guilt is worthy of confession. She admits she is off to meet Sven for lunch. He contacted her because he needs to try and find forgiveness in his heart for what she has done and make peace with it. The lawyers tone changes. She abruptly urges Amanda to come back into her office and sit down and then shuts the door. She breaks the news to Amanda carefully that it has emerged that Linda Baker definitely was not the person to have reported the John Galliano dress to the police. In actual fact it was Sven. She was going to tell her today but Amanda looked like she wasnt able to cope with anymore. Sven had been having an affair with a new personal assistant which Linda Baker knew nothing about. The new assistant had spotted the dress on Ebay and recognised it as she had an interest in fashion and knew the ins and outs of Svens paperwork. Sven had
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never noticed the dress but on hearing it belonged to him on paper he immediately contacted the police to report his property as stolen. He spoke to a few people and managed to arrange a deal to sell the dress for 5 million pounds. Amanda takes the news calmly like someone who has become desensitised to an ongoing avalanche of extremes. She responds coolly that she is just sorry she got the wrong person. Her lawyer thinks it is extremely important that she does not express that sentiment at her murder trial. Scene 15 Crown Court Prosecution Waiting Room, Sussex. It is the first day of Amanda de Courceys murder trial. Amanda arrives with her defence lawyer. She is seated in a room and instructed to wait. A few other people are also in the room waiting to be summonsed. Amandas lawyer says she will be back in a short while and leaves the room. Betty Jenkins, fellow sugar craft committee member and the Caretaker Liaison Officer for their Village Community Centre arrives. Amanda sits with her head semi bowed, uncharacteristically in no make-up, no jewellery, and a grey finely tailored skirt, jacket and blouse but without her customary touches of colour. Betty Jenkins enters dressed in her usual cheap big winter coat but this time she has big shiny plastic clip on ear rings, matching shoulder bag, and brightly applied rouge and lipstick painted thickly across her cracked lips which are smiling almost with an air of intense excitement and intrigue. Betty Jenkins expresses disapproval to Amandas that none of her family members has turned up for the trial. She cant understand anyone who wouldnt stick by their family through anything. Veronica, fellow sugar craft member sends good wishes, but is nervous of courts and cant attend the court gallery in

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support of her friend. Betty Jenkins crosses her fingers for good luck and makes a wish that Amanda will get a judge and jury who have common sense and not be harsh in their sentence. She observes that if Amanda had planned it in cold blood she wouldnt have tricked Donald into buying a big heavy aluminium stew pan as the chosen murder weapon but would have gone for a carving knife. Betty Jenkins continues to speak for a long period. Amanda starts moving in her chair in alternating between agitation and a comatose manner shifting from side to side, looking up the clock repeatedly and then staring down as if searching to see if her eyes had fallen on the floor. A man and a woman opposite her begin to argue. The intensity and distress of the argument would suggest they are partners. They are both in their late 30s. The womans eyes are lively but beaten down. The mans eyes are keen but lost looking. The woman is complaining that he can never just be content like everyone else but always wants something better. She doesnt understand why he cant just be like everyone else. The mans name is Jiz. Amanda studies the features of the Jizs face as he speaks. His features are masculine and angular. He has a tattoo of a dark inked blue star on his ear. His accent isnt privileged but his delivery of words is confident. His hai r cropped, but ruffled. Amanda becomes hypnotized by his mannerisms. Then he stands up and starts feeling in the pockets of his suit which he doesnt appear to be familiar with. The woman says its unlikely he will be allowed outside for a smoke. Jiz heads for the toilet door which is situated in the same room. Amanda snaps out of her hypnotic type state but Betty Jenkins is still speaking. Betty thinks its bad of Donald to have not stood by Amanda and to not even return to their house for his clothes. Surely he saw the car knock Amanda down and realized she was in shock and didnt plan to bash Linda Bakers brains out with a stewing pan. Then
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when Betty Jenkins tells Amanda the story (for the 100th time it seems) about how she fell asleep one night, and accidently rolled onto her new kitten, during the night time and killed it, and nobody believed it was an accident. Her neighbours gossiped and someone spray painted KITTEN MURDERER on her front porch door, and she never wanted anyone to go through what she went through alone. Amanda stands up and snaps that perhaps Donald didnt feel it would benefit his application to win legal access to see his daughter Lucy if he said his partner was on trial for murder. Then Amanda says she needs to use the toilet to freshen up. The lock on the toilet cubicle is broken so Amanda tries the door of the cubicle next to it. The door opens and Jiz is crouched over the toilet cistern. He doesnt seem that bothered to see Amanda although she apologizes greatly. He laughs and then she laughs. In a surreal moment they are both caught in laughter. Then Betty Jenkins voice can be heard entering the toilet. Amanda pushes herself into the cubicle with Jiz and tells him to be quiet so she can hide from her as she cant bare another moment with her. Eventually Amanda calls out she wont be long but Betty Jenkins wants to stay to make sure she is ok. Amanda says she cant pee with someone else waiting outside the door so Betty agrees to wait outside. Amanda and Jiz are still in the cubicle with bodies so close they can feel their breathing. Amanda sniffs the air and then names the spices she can faintly smell in his aftershave. The aroma floods her senses which for the last few months have felt dead. The welcomed shock triggers her to kiss Jiz who returns the kiss. Then Amanda pushes him roughly against the cubicle wall. Jiz kisses her back with passion. Amanda presses her hips against him to pin him against the wall and Jiz kisses her back even more wildly. For a brief second Amanda notices white powder sprinkled over the toilet cistern but the kissing
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consumes them both. However moments later Amanda feels a thud in her head and then nausea and heat shoot around her body before everything blacks out.

Reflective Commentary I have created a completely different story to the one I submitted in assignment 2. This is because I wasnt clear what my story was really about. Now I have a better sense of what it is about. As I only started it from scratch a few weeks ago I only got as far as the inciting incident. I havent managed to edit it down yet. I start the story off in the quaint English village of Rottingdean. I enjoy contrasting banality with extremes. For example the apparent safety of the Village and its community centre in conflict with Amandas bigger aspirations. I also depict Amanda de Courcey,the main character taking out a bank loan as highlighting the myths perpetuated by banks and the key role it plays in enslaving and disempowering most people is my central underlying theme. I only got as far as the inciting incident in which Amanda is on trial for murdering Linda Baker with a stewing pan and then in court. After this the first half of the story will show Amanda and Jiz living in Rottingdean which is now a prison like landscape owned by Masters. Amanda and Jiz will have lost their memories. According to the Masters cities, towns and villages no longer exit and instead the country is divided up into private
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prisons competing against other Masters who apparently want to kill or cheat each other but protect their inhabitants. Amanda and Jiz work as slaves on the Masters land. The Rottingdean landscape is grey and bare. The slaves are nearly starving, forced to work for a lifetime on the Masters land in return for shelter. Jiz runs a Swap Shop in which the slaves swap what very little they have eg their broken shoes for a few potatoes. Meanwhile a well is discovered. It is full of fresh water and precious stones. The precious stones shine against the grey miserable stark landscape. The slaves decide to keep the well a secret from the Masters as they are not allowed to own things. However the fresh water means they can have better sanitation, health etc and the precious stones become very desirable. Initially there is community spirit with this shared secret and discovery of the well and the precious glistening stones. This lifts the slaves spirits and feelings of hope. This new sense of self the slaves have becomes evident to the Masters which becomes is a concern. However over time some of the slaves begin to hoard and control the water and stones and things start to change. Eventually an argument breaks out and the slave who operates the well reports it to the Masters. The assumption is the Masters will kill some of the slaves to set an example. However since the slaves discovered the well and experienced a feeling of ownership they have become
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harder to pacify through physical force. The midway point in the story the Masters hold a trial and insinuate to the other slaves that Amanda and Jiz were using the well to cheat the other slaves. As the precious stones from the well gained popularity they became the most valuable item in the Swap Shop. As it was feared the precious stones would be discovered by the Masters, Jiz agreed to store them safely in exchange for goods. The slaves precious stones are kept in storage and Jiz would give them receipts as proof of ownership which they could use to retrieve them if they wanted. The slaves start using the receipts like bank notes exchanging it for food and services from each other. Amanda thinks its a waste to have the precious stones in storage not doing anything so for a price starts hiring them out. However the slaves who want to borrow the precious stones prefer to have receipts instead. The receipts are easy to hide and become more desirable to carry than the precious stones. Jiz and Amanda realize their receipt book has become as valuable as the precious stones so they start to write receipts falsely and give them out as loans. In effect they are lending money they dont have. The well operator realizes that the amount of receipts being lent out as money is much greater than the number of precious stones that are in storage so they must be conning the slaves. He reports them to the Masters. The Masters are impressed by this con artist scheme and
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decide to use it themselves in their private business. They also realize that when the slaves had the well with the precious stones and fresh water they became much more motivated. The Masters decide that instead of killing slaves to set an example to crush any rebellions they will instead allow the slaves to own things but their ownership of things will be based on an illusion. They will control the slaves by creating the illusion of ownership and choice which will motivate them to work on their land. They use the con artist scheme that Amanda and Jiz had created as a model for a loan system to control the slaves. They Masters will give the slaves loans to buy the shelters they are forced to live in exchange for a lifetime of work on the Masters land. They will abolish the no ownership rule for slaves. The Masters soon learn that the more counterfeit loans they give to slaves to create products the more money the Masters get paid back. More products means more loans for producers and therefore more profits for The Masters. More products means more consumers which also means more loans. Everything can be owned by Masters and reduced to a product and as there is not enough money issued by The Masters who control the money supply then there is not enough wages for slaves to pay for products and therefore the slaves are dependent on the loans. The Masters make sure there is not enough real money in circulation for
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slaves wages so they are forced to depend on Masters for loans. They will require to take out loans from Masters to pay for the products as the Masters ensure the slave wages are low enough to ensure dependency on loans to purchase things. The Masters soon learn that allowing slaves to own things and be paid for their work motivates them to work and is highly profitable. In reality nothing has changed for the Masters or slaves. The Masters soon learn that if all aspects of the slaves lives continue to be owned eg oxygen, water, food, shelter, transport, medicine etc they can profit from the slaves dependency on loans to purchase it. Everything can be reduced to a product in which slaves must depend on the loans of Masters to pay for it. The more loans the Masters give for shelter the more the shelter prices rise and the more loans the slaves need to take out. The Masters lick their lips. The slaves are brainwashed regularly to repeat the mantras I create my own destiny and all forms of worship, entertainment, self care etc are erected to reinforce this mantra. The Masters must work hard to make the slaves believe in the illusion of ownership. Ownership equates to products and consumers and therefore more loans needed which is highly profitable to the Masters. Sometimes the slaves get mentally unwell from their slavery however the Masters employ brain chemists and mindologists to remind the slaves they create their own
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destiny. The brain chemists and mindologists become very powerful and are rewarded highly within the Masters system. The mindologists and brain chemists set up a care agency in which they uncover the needs of the slaves and bring the product they require to satisfy them. An emphasis on individualism and satisfying needs is given priority. The mindologists and brain chemists use this valuable information to help the producers know what to produce. They work hard to circuit past reason and get to the part of brain that can be controlled through products. This means more loans and more profits for Masters so the mindologists and brain chemists are treated as royal gurus and rewarded generously. They become very powerful and prestigious. Eventually Amanda and Jiz have their memories returned after a series of events in which the glitter of the beautiful precious stones and the smells of spices triggers old memories from their previous life. It is the Masters biggest fear slaves will remember their old lives and try to escape back to it however Amanda and Jiz dont feel any reason to escape back to their old lives and decide to remain with their Masters in the new prison.

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