MEETING by Consorcio Borje

THE little church stood in the shadow of acacia trees. A narrow gra el !ath lined with cucharita hedges led fro" the street into its cool# $uiet yard with the "oss on the di" boles of the trees and the dew on the grasses. The roar of the dusty# blindingly white city surged and bro%e li%e a sea along the concrete !a e"ents that s%irted the churchyard# but went no farther. At the whitewashed wooden gate# the young "an stood diffidently. Ner ously fingering his battered felt hat# he !ushed in the gate# ste!!ed inside# allowed it to swing bac%# and then slowly wal%ed down the !ath. The chilly da"!ness of the !lace rested li%e a cool hand u!on his fe ered brow# and he e&!elled a breath of relief. He wal%ed as slowly as he could# sa oring through all the !ores of his lean young fra"e the bal" of this sudden re!rie e fro" the heat and brutal i"!ersonality of the big city. Three concrete ste!s led u! into the estibule. At the to! ste! he saw the congregation inside the hea y hardwood doors# and hesitated. 'I beseech you therefore# brethren# by the "ercies of God# that ye !resent your bodies a li ing sacrifice# holy# acce!table unto God# which is your reasonable ser ice. 'And be not confor"ed to this world( but be ye transfor"ed by the renewing of your "ind# that ye "ay !ro e what is that # and acce!table# and !erfect# will of God.'

The oice was long and sonorous# and it struc% a res!onsi e chord in the young "an)s heart# but he could not see the s!ea%er. The last !ew hid the altar fro" hi". * er the !ew he could see the fluted row of organ !i!es# the "assi e ri et+studded rafters# light that strea"ed down at a dee! angle fro" a tall window of colored glass. ',or I say# through the grace gi en unto "e# to e ery "an that is a"ong you# not to thin% of hi"self "ore highly than he ought to thin%- but to thin% soberly# according as God hath dealt to e ery "an the "easure of faith.' ,or !erha!s an hour the young "an stood at the door# feeling dee!ly unha!!y# frightened# and lost. He dared not enter. He loo%ed down at his torn# dusty shoes# his stained clothes# felt the growth of beard on his chin# and already he could feel the cold eyes of the !eo!le in the church e&a"ining hi". He retired $uietly to one side of the estibule# where he could not be seen fro" the inside# and leaned against the wall to rest his tre"bling li"bs. And then the !eo!le began strea"ing out# and he felt relie ed that they did not e en glance his way. After a while# he loo%ed into the door. There was no one in. He crossed hi"self $uic%ly and entered. ,or a long ti"e he sat there staring dully at the sounding e"!tiness before hi"# for brea%ing against the wall still was the re erberation of bells tolled a long ti"e ago. Through all this he could hear his heart beating in a wea% slow "easure# and again the beatific sense of co"!leteness and of being filled his soul li%e "ellow wine. The seat was dee! and restful. The wood was fir" and cool. He san% bac% and fell aslee!. .hen he wo%e u!# he saw that his hat had fallen to the floor. The fi e+centa o pancit mami that he had eaten last night had already e a!orated# and he felt a shot of !ain in his "iddle as he stoo!ed down to reco er his hat. After the !ain# a wea%ness and tre"bling sei/ed his li"bs# and cold sweat beaded his forehead. The church swa" before his eyes. 0unlight strea"ed through the west windows. ,ro" its angle he %new it "ust be late in the afternoon. He had been aslee! in the church for the greater !art of the day# and now he felt again aguely forsa%en# and the chill and the solitude were no longer ery soothing but were al"ost terrifying. 1oc%ing fro" one foot to the other# he got u! hastily and "ade for the door# and it was then that he saw the girl standing at his bac%. 'I) e been watching you#' she said# s"iling gently# and her hair loo%ed li%e a halo for the sunlight crowned it with gold. '2ou) e been aslee!#' she continued. 'I)" sorry#' he began wea%ly. 'I didn)t "ean to++' '2es3 But let)s ta%e a seat# !lease.'

He lic%ed his dry li!s. 'I didn)t "ean to slee! here. I just fell aslee!# that)s all.' 'There)s no har" in that# I)" sure#' she said reassuringly ta%ing her seat beside hi" and !ulling hi" down. '2ou)re a stranger here3' 'I ca"e to the city about a wee% ago.' '0taying with relati es3' Her oice was direct and cool. 'No relati es# "a)a". I thought I could get a job here. I had heard so "uch about o!!ortunities here# and I wanted to wor% "yself through college4' 0he listened $uietly. The $uic% res!onsi e loo% in her eyes brought his confidence bac% and "ade hi" gi e details about his life and his recent "isad entures he would not ha e re ealed otherwise. '.e are fro" the sa"e !ro ince as you#' she said. 'My father wor%s in the city hall. He got transferred here because "y "other wants to see us through school. Co"e ho"e with "e# ha3 .e want you to tell us about the !ro ince. It was fi e years ago when we were there last. 2es# they will li%e to see you. 5on)t be asha"ed. 2ou can)t bla"e !eo!le for not %nowing any one in the city.' 0he was only si&teen# or thereabouts# he could see in the calesa which they too%- she was dressed in white# si"!ly and cleanly# al"ost to the !oint of the anaesthetic se erity of the nurse# but there was a subtle !erfu"e about her li%e that of rosal and then again li%e that of sa"!aguita# and the lines of her face were clean and young and sweet. '.hy# I)d be asha"ed++' he began again# loo%ing at hi"self with horror. 'No "ore of that# ha3' 0he flashed a s"ile at hi"# her li!s a light rose li%e her chee%s# her eyes crin%ling at the corners. The horses) hoofs beat a tattoo on the street cobbles# round this corner# round that corner# ancient 0!anish houses under acacia trees# rows of tene"ents# sounding walls of old Intra"uros# a tangle of horse+drawn and "otor traffic. E erything went suddenly white at once. The first thing that he %new was the "ildly !ungent s"ell of rubbing alcohol and lini"ent. The !lace he was in was dar%# e&ce!t for a street light that ca"e in through the billowing curtain in the window. He was in a bed# a dee! wide bed# with "attress and cool co ers fragrant with soa! and starch and ironing. ,ro" beyond the dar%ness to one side ca"e to hi" the faint sound of oices and the tin%le of a !iano. He jer%ed u! with a great consciousness of guilt# but he san% bac% again# di//iness swa"!ing hi" bac% and o er!owering hi". 6ying bac% there# accusing hi"self of

i"!osing on a stranger)s hos!itality# he began to cry# but he wi!ed away his tears $uic%ly when he saw the door slowly o!en and a head showed in the o!ening. '*h# you)re awa%e now.' It was the girl# and she ran softly in. He felt greatly disturbed within. 0he was loo%ing down now and her hand was u!on his brow and he could feel the war"th of her and get the s"ell of her. 'Good7' she e&clai"ed and ran lightly out# closing the door behind her. In a "inute# she was bac% with two other !ersons. A switch clic%ed and the roo" s!rang into light# and he could see there was an elderly wo"an who" she rese"bled closely# and an elderly "an in !aja"as. '.ell7' said the "an heartily. He had a !i!e gri!!ed by the bowl in one of his hands. '0o this is the cababayan. .ell7' The wo"an ca"e o er and laid her hand on his forehead. A wedding ring shone on one finger. He loo%ed u! into her eyes# and all at once he %new he need not be afraid4 The girl)s !arents# it later de elo!ed# were a"ong the "ore influential of the !arishioners# and he was able to get a job through the" as church janitor# with bed and board !ro ided free in the ser ants) $uarters of the rectory. Besides s!rucing u! the church# he had charge of the lawn which he "owed and the hedges which he tri""ed. *ut of his !ay of twenty !esos a "onth he "anaged to send ho"e ten !esos to his "other in the "onth)s+end "ail. 'Good "orning#' he would say hu"bly to the girl# 6ita# when 0undays ca"e and she was in the church. Then he would hurry before her to dust the !ew she always too% with her !arents. 'How do you do3' 6ita would as%# and so"eti"es she would say# '8edro# you "ust co"e and get your 0unday dinner with us. 2ou don)t do it so regularly# now.' ,ro" the bac% of the congregation# dressed in his best white+cotton suit# his eighty+ centa o nec%tie# his tan+and+white Gandara shoes# he would listen ra!tly to her sing in the choir. He could always tell her oice# and he could always see her lo ely radiant face "agnified a"ong the rows of others. Three afternoons a wee%# a calesa would halt at the church gate# and 6ita would alight in her !lain white dress. 0he would co"e down the cucharita+lined !ath# and she would enter the church where for an hour she would sit or %neel# just loo%ing at the altar# and her li!s would "o e silently. Then would 8edro hush his ste!s# and he would !ut aside his lawn"ower and his shears and loo% at 6ita longingly through the window# at her !rofile outlined against the lighted side of the church.

*n her se enteenth birthday# 6ita ga e 8edro a !icture. It showed her with eyelashes swe!t u! and li!s half+!arted in a s"ile. A stray loc% fell against one chee%. *ne dainty end of a lace bow curled against the straight line of her throat# while the other reclined against the swell of her boso". 'I can %ee! this3' as%ed 8edro wonderingly# and 6ita said with a thrill of laughter. '.hy yes# it)s yours. .hy do you ha e to as%3' He had enrolled in a night collegiate course !re!ared es!ecially for wor%ing students# but out of the "oney for school fees and boo%s he "anaged to sa e as "uch as fifty centa os at a ti"e. He s!ent his sa ings for a neat little !icture fra"e# !ainted blac% and sil er# and !ut 6ita)s !icture before hi" as he !ored o er his te&tboo%s at ho"e. 'How are you getting along in school3' said 6ita one afternoon# after she ca"e out of the church. 'At least I !assed in all "y subjects last se"ester.' 'That)s fine. I)" sure you)ll "a%e an engineer yet.' 0he hesitated at the gate# and turned bac% to hi" slowly. '5on)t let anything distract you fro" your wor%#' she said. '!ut your "ind on it and %ee! it there.' He thought# she loo%s ery young# but too deadly serious. That frown on her face. That "ature cast of her "outh. But he only said# 'Than% you# Miss Miel.' 'Miss# still3' 0he laughed again# and the world was shining once "ore# no longer full of !roble"s and dar% and weighty hues# but full of the sil ery ringing of bells and the light !atter of dancing feet. 'I thin% I can hel! you#' she went on. 'About trigono"etry now. It)s "y fa orite subject.' 'I cannot understand the cosine of++' '2ou "ean Tho"as) theory3 It)s easy. 6i%e this.' And thereu!on she %nelt on the !ath and with a twig traced figures in the light fluff. '2ou should "a%e a good engineer# there are such things as wo"en engineers# you %now#' he entured. 'My father said I should#' 6ita confided. 'But "y greatest interest does not lie in that way# 8edro. It lies so"ewhere else. 0hould I tell you3' 0he crin%led her nose at hi"# but again she was suddenly gra e. After a !ause( 'I) e ne er wanted to grow u!#' she suddenly shot at hi" and hurriedly !ic%ed herself u!# ran out of the gate# hailed a calesa and dro e away.

8edro)s !er!le&ity was sol ed the following afternoon when 6ita ca"e again to the church to !ray. It was 0aturday afternoon and 8edro was dusting. This ti"e she had on a blac% eil that fell to the ti! of her nose. 0he was a tiny figure %neeling at the far end of the church. Her head was bowed low# but he thought he could see her li!s "o ing. He "o ed about on ti!toe# used his "o! gently. He was on the floor reaching under a re"ote corner when he heard her light 'H)lo' behind hi". He rose u! hastily and nodded his greeting# 'Good afternoon# Miss Miel.' 'Good afternoon# Mister 5e9o.' 'Er# 6ita' 'That)s better. 5id I startle you yesterday afternoon3' '2ou did.' Then 6ita was telling hi" she was going to be a nun. 'But why3' as%ed 8edro incredulously. '5oes it sound foolish to you3' Her lashes swe!t down on her chee%# and for the first ti"e he noticed that she had the !allid loo% as of one in cloistered# "oss+grown nunneries. 'I don)t %now#' he said# 'I don)t %now.' And then he went on# feeling foolish# 'But you can)t want to gi e u! all this for life i"!rison"ent.' 'It is not life i"!rison"ent#' she said gra ely# 'but the essence of what I) e always wanted. All "y life I) e wanted co"!lete co""union with God.' He shoo% his head to clear it of the cobweb of !ain and di//iness# and her hand cre!t to his. The touch of it sent an electric shoc% through his whole fra"e. 'E en as a child#' she went on# 'I had always wanted to ha e a roo" that loo%ed "uch li%e a church# with a hard# bare floor# and hard# bare seats# and an altar# and an i"age of Mother and Child.' 0he was loo%ing down %indly at hi"# red s!ots in her white chee%s. 'Now# as I li e fro" day to day# it see"s as if I)" being swe!t farther and farther away fro" that childhood drea". I want "y childhood bac%. I hunger for its si"!licity and its faith. It see"s as if dee! inside "e I)" !arched and thirsty# and I need the coolness and da"!ness of seclusion. 2ou understand# don)t you3' Again it see"ed as if the church rustled with the !rayer and de outness of a congregation# and there was again# that sonorous oice saying# 'I beseech you therefore#

brethren# by the "ercies of God# that ye !resent your bodies a li ing sacrifice# holy# acce!table unto God.' 'Good+bye#' said 6ita# her long# white# sha!ely fingers tightening on his rough# dar% ones. 'I)ll not see you again3' 0he shoo% her head slowly. 0uddenly she bent down and %issed hi" on the chee%# and as suddenly she ran down the aisle and out of the door. As he sat in a !ew# the bells were silent# but still they see"ed to be tolling fro" far away# the air ibrating with their ringing. He sat in the !ew and stared dully in front of hi". 6ight strea"ed in fro" an eastern window. The ghostly congregation still rustled with its faith and sacrifice. *n his chee% her li!s were still war". But su!!ose# he thought# it had been so"e other way. 0u!!ose(

'I):E been watching you#' she said# s"iling gently# and her hair loo%ed li%e a halo with the sunlight crowning it with gold. '2ou) e been aslee!#' she continued. 'I)" sorry#' he began wea%ly. 'I didn)t "ean to++' And then they were wal%ing down to the whitewashed gate# and he was aguely sur!rised that there was no calesa waiting there. But he went on to cross the street ne ertheless# %ee!ing in his eyes the sli"# white figure# with the clean# young lines of face. *utside the churchyard# the traffic was hea y as usual# and the lorry dri ers swore "ightily at the bro%en+down old "an# with that ague half+s"ile on his face# who was crossing the street and brea%ing all rules of !edestrian traffic and all the laws of self+ !reser ation. 'That engineer# 8edro 5e9o# you %now#' said one of a cou!le dri ing a car near the scene. '5irty rich# but da"ned absent+"inded# too.' 'That)s the "atter with these successful !eo!le#' said the other. 'They !ut their "ind on a thing and %ee! it there# to the e&clusion of all others# e en "otor traffic.' '2eh# 5e9o# for instance. Must be thin%ing of house !lans and bridges.' More fro" this author( Big 0ister
This story is fro" a ;<=; boo% that was ne er !ublished because the "anuscri!t was lost.