T he L e a d i n g M a n Program Three Secrets To Long-Term Happiness With The Greatest Woman Youve Ever M et

How's it going, gentlemen? This is Scot McKay from X & Y Communications and you're listening to The Leading Man relationship management system. The title of this particular audio program is Secrets to Long-Term Happiness With The Greatest Woman You've Ever Met. First I'd like to congratulate you. By listening to this program, you've risen above mere pickup and seduction advice and you've recognized the sheer importance of at least accounting for every potential possibility in your life. You understand the importance of preparing now for the future with a great woman, and you've probably figured out by now, at least hopefully, that there is much more to relationship management then just how to classify who you're sleeping with and what to tell those women. Elsewhere in the world of men's dating advice you see the term relationship management used to refer specifically to sexual politics between a guy and the various bed buddies or, you know, friends with benefits that he has going on in his life. But see, for the true man of depth who expects to enjoy a richly satisfying life--igniting the femininity of great women and reaping the amazing benefits thereof--relationship management entails much, much more than that. As you go through The Leading Man program and you discover more and more of what it has to offer, you're going to find that we talk a lot about understanding women, harnessing the power of your words in your conversation and communications with women, and even how to handle crises--kind of like how much of an airline pilot's training or a beach lifeguard's training is devoted to situations that are likely never to happen and which we hope, won't happen. That crisis management skill, for example, is an all-important one to you as a relationship manager, which is why we will be devoting an entire program to it. Along those same lines, this audio program can serve as the catalyst for fostering that depth of perspective that you're looking for. Some day you may actually look back on having listened to this audio program as the pivotal time that prepared you to remain flexible in your ability to deserve what you want. You may look back and realize that through this program, you were prepared to make literally any decision you wanted regarding your life with women. Because what we are talking about in this program are the secrets to structuring a wildly successful dating life so that all relationship level options remain open to you someday: How to know you're ready to meet
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one great woman, how to recognize and select her, and--of course--how to make that lifetime relationship last. All of those are going to be available to you, not just pickup and seduction, one-night stands, and having this revolving door of women that we are talk about. You're going to have a much deeper understanding that will allow you to make much more informed decisions on your timeline and on your own terms. Incidentally, I've included a video in The Leading Man program with X & Y Communications coach Jim Dalton. That video focuses candidly on how to select the right woman. Both he and I have had similar experiences in the past--having poisonous women in our lives--and we've talked about that at length on that video and I think that will be valuable to you. I highly recommend watching that after listing to this program. So let's get started. Let's talk about some of the foundational mindsets that you're going to need to have as you seek to find a great woman in your life. First and foremost probably, it absolutely is possible to have a successful long-term relationship with one woman, just as we'll talk about more in the Dreams Made Possible program. But see, sex-focused guys are the first to believe that that can't be done. A lot of times they'll even cite North American women as being particularly difficult to have a long-term relationship with. But see, when sex is the focus, you're going to get bored with women. Forget the interrelational dynamics, you're looking for a partnership at every level, see, someone who is in your life because of the value you bring to each other in other way--beyond merely the sexual side of things. That's the difference between most guys who don't think that a long-term relationship is viable versus guys who really do believe that they can find one great woman and have a great life with her. Because no matter how hot she is, you can't base a life-long relationship on sex. It will be doomed. Contrary to the famous saying about kissing versus cooking, you know, you can't based it on cooking either, for that matter. Any man who expects a happy life with a quality woman, must love women first of all. He must understand their need for security and hes got to be able to give it to them. He's got to love the joy and energy and the comfort that women provide to daily life and, of course, he's got to choose a woman who appreciates manhood and who is ready and willing to be one half of a great relationship. And we will be discussing that more in a bit when we talk about what a great woman looks like. But as for your mindset, if you cannot appreciate a woman beyond sexual pleasure, youre flat out never going to succeed in marriage. You've got to enjoy having her around to share life experiences with. The two of you must enrich each others lives, even on a daily basis. Yet no doubt, a lot of guys really fail to see the forest for the trees here and they really do see women as pretty much sex objects. Alec Baldwin, for example, the actor, has famously said that apart from sex he prefers the company of men, and Alec Baldwin has considerable difficulties with the women in his life. I
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don't think this is by accident. So having discussed the mindset that you need to have to find a great woman, let's talk about how to get your house in order, some of the basic life tasks that will carry you through the process. First of all, you've got to become a man who has options, which has become a foundational principle in The Leading Man system because apart from that, you settle. Now get this, a whopping 25% of all guys have had sex with exactly one person in their lives. Does this surprise you? You can Google the statistics for yourself and take a look. If you meet the greatest woman you've ever met early in life, like in high school, well that's great. But that's probably not your experience if you're listening to The Leading Man and it certainly wasn't mine. So here it is: Life is too short to serial date. You have got to go date multiple women just to find out, if nothing else, what it is you truly want from women. Now, of course, you can consult the companion program to this called The Man In Demand elsewhere in The Leading Man system on how to handle multiple long term relationships for the full breakdown on that. Then, you've got to give yourself permission to date as long as you wish, and however many women you wish. Yes, you're evaluating but you're also going to enjoy this wildly successful dating life on the way to finding one great woman some day. Guys, enjoy the process. Enjoy being single. Don't say, Man, you know, being single sucks, dating is terrible, just parachute me out of here with one great woman. Enjoy getting to know women. Enjoy going on a date. Enjoy a wildly successful dating life because you're never going to get that opportunity back once you've met this great woman. Use that as an opportunity to test and validate what it is you want in a woman so you never have your nose pressed against glass thinking you may have settled later. It's so important. You also cannot poison the pond, like we mentioned in the multiple long-term relationship program. Now here is where I want to break down that concept in more detail for you--here in this program--because this is something a lot of guys, and also women frankly, struggle with because they live in the now without really considering long term consequences of their actions today. For example, let's say you date strippers or you hire prostitutes. You've got to understand that this will severely limit your ability to attract fantastic women of character and integrity to commit to you. A woman like that is not going to be able to stomach your past. Now you may say that you'll just hide it from her. And indeed, you may escape incurable STDs and/or baby mama drama from all those past escapades, but here is the more important point that I don't think guys really ever consider until they're faced with it later.
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You see most of us are good men or at least we want to be, and we want to deserve great women. Now if you have skeletons in your closet too profound to dare share with a great woman some day, you're not going to be able to sweep it all under the rug as unceremoniously as you think you will be. It's not like she'll necessarily surf through old pictures of you or your old credit card statements and find you out. No. It's not like that at all. This is different. When you meet a woman you connect with at the level we're talking about here, the one who makes you want to exclude all the other women in your life, it is going to eat you alive from the core that you're going to be forever forced to withhold the truth from her. You're going to almost have to tell her. You're going to be compelled to. Why? Because before you will be a woman that you value the opportunity to connect with at the deepest, fullest level. We're talking about the greatest woman you've ever met, and you're going to be hindered by your past decisions from doing thatand it's going to kill you. The time to think about this is now because once you meet this woman in you life who you know you can tell anything to, you're going to have to tell everything to her because she's going to be equally honest with you. You're going to want that transparency with her. But see, here's the travesty of the whole thing. Most guys, and you know pretty much most women too, never even think about that until it hits them, till the moment happens. Okay, so let's move on to something else. A key indicator that you're truly ready to even think about long-term plans with one great woman is that you're fulfilled by your dating life. There are no more what ifs or how comes. There are no more greener pastures out there. You will have dated the women you want and enjoyed doing so for as long as it took. And with that, you are going to recognize the woman who is the greatest one you've ever met and youre going to be ready for it. You're not going to say, Gee, I wish I would have dated a little bit longerhad a little bit more fun out there. Part of getting your house in order here is getting that job done of dating women until you're ready to move on to the next level and have a relationship with one great woman. This woman, when she comes along, is going to knock your socks off from Minute One. She is going to continue to enthrall you more and more until you naturally elect her to the exclusion of all others. And importantly, you're going to recognize that she is ready to exclude all others for you. Guys you're going to want a woman who had options also. Who wants a woman who nobody wants? You see, she's going to be the woman in demand even as you were the man in demand. That way, you'll be perfect for each other. And because you've had that experience between you of having dated other people and therefore actually having been able to discover each other upon meeting, that's going to set you up for a much higher quality long-term relationship.
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You see how that dynamic works? Both of you will stop considering others to date. She is going to stop talking about other guys and may sever relationships with guy friends too. Now, whether you sever your relationships with your girl friends--you know, women who were just friends--is up to you, but you may feel compelled to do it. See, everything changes. In my life, I had three women in front of me that I felt, you know, I could spend the rest of my life with any of them. All three were great, great choices. And while I was busy trying to figure out what to do about those three women in my life, what happened? What happened was, I met Emily and I knew very quickly that she was going to be really an outstanding potential possibility as the greatest person I've ever met and someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Now, we were talking about women who have guy friends. Let's talk about women's friends in general. Some have said that a woman with few friends is perfect for a long-term relationship because she'll be at your side all the time. Well, I'd qualify that by saying that a woman with quality friends, even if more than a few of them, is what you're talking about here. I don't know if quantity of friends is really what matters. It doesn't take an introverted woman to be by your side by any stretch, and indeed you're going to want to make friends as a couple later. That's going to be important to enriching your life as we are going to see later. Simply put, the woman who wants to be in a dating relationship with you to the exclusion of all others wants you around a lot even when other friends are there, and that's all good. The one thing that you want to avoid is, of course, other guys still being in her life and her having a romantic interest in them. When that goes away, I think you can have friends together, you can build your friendships, and it isn't necessarily true that she's just going to want to forsake everybody to be with you. Remember, as we mentioned in the core intro program, don't let a women cajole you into exclusivity and don't make a decision because you think, Well, it's time to get married or because this woman happens to be the only one you're dating. Your decisions are always made from the position of strength and experience, rather than from weakness and desperation. That is always a foundational premise that you should never, ever forget. Okay. Now lets move on to how to pick a great woman. Now, great women in general are terrific, but I'm more interested for these purposes in telling you how to select the greatest woman for you. It's different for every guy for a good reason--because we're all different. Your 10 is not someone else's 10. Don't let your friends, or society in general, influence you here. Your yardstick from the physical attractiveness perspective--or really from the personality perspective also--should be, Do you feel proud to have this woman at your side when you're out in public with her? Just because the media says that you should want a tall, blond Barbie doll doesn't mean that tall, blond Barbie doll is the woman you really want.
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Also, don't fall for being told that you're shallow for wanting physical beauty in a woman. It's okay to want the whole package, not just physical attractiveness anyway. If you make concessions at any level when it comes to identifying the greatest women you've ever met and you want to spend with your life with, you're going to be settling. If you're ashamed of her in public, if you experience bitterness towards other guys you see who have prettier women with them yet who don't seem better than you, then here it is: You're flat out headed towards disaster. Ironically, you will rarely hear a woman you think is beautiful criticize you for your opinion, especially if you appreciate her at every level. She's not going to tell you anytime soon that you're shallow. Think about it. It's pretty true isn't it? It's the woman who senses she doesn't cut it in the looks department who's going to try to tell you're shallow for requiring a woman who is physically attractive. At the core, this is just manipulation. She's trying to maneuver you toward settling for less than you want in order to keep you in her life. And what if she succeeds? She is still going to be deeply hurt when you consider other women more attractive. If you marry this woman, even she will long to be the most beautiful women in the world to you. And when she's not, she's going to be humiliated. You're going to feel compelled to lie to her, and everyone suffers when you settle for less than you desire and you deserved. You will have settled. You'll have your nose pressed to the glass looking out at the greener pastures. The woman you're with will know that. She's going to know she doesn't cut it. Shes going to know that you want more than her, and it's going to be humiliating to her like I said. So, how do you know when you aren't settling? Well, were going to talk about how to settleproof yourself later, but I want to share with you right now a tool that can help you. I had a spreadsheet that helped me actually isolate the traits that I wanted from a woman and prepared to meet her. So, here's what I did. Well, most guys talk about a woman in terms of one to ten on an HB scale, you know what I mean? I did it a little differently. What I did was I came up with 10 different areas that were absolutely crucial to me in terms of what I want from a woman. Things like emotional stability, beauty, cuteness, sexy--all of those were in there--what I thought she would be like sexually. I had dimensions on her spirituality. I had dimensions on basically how I felt about a longterm relationship with this woman and the viability thereof. But see, my dimensions are going to be different than your dimensions. What you need to do is you need to build a spreadsheet and decide the 10 most important things in the world to you, as far as what a great woman looks like. Then, every time you meet a woman, you're going to take every one of those dimensions and rank her from 1 to 10. You can use half points if you want. You can even take a certain category that's particularly important to you and make it worth double points, right? So you have nine dimensions instead of 10, one of them is worth 20 points. And then what you do is
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you count up the numbers. Each column, 1 through 10. It'll equal 100 in the end. And what you're looking for guysis your 100. Now, when I first started dating, I had women who were in the 50's, I had women who were in the 60's, and as I raised the bar, see, I was able to tell when I was getting higher quality women in my life--and not just higher quality women by some whimsical, subjective standard. I wasn't just throwing blades or grass up to the wind to see which way it blew. I was actually going from something objective. I knew what I wanted and I knew how to evaluate women. Now see, naturally I'm a right-brained person. Some of you guys are probably listening to this going, Well, that's really mechanical, that spreadsheet of yours. But see, what I was doing was I was simply tempering my right-brain tendency to say subjectively Oh! I like this woman, I kind of like this woman a little bit more, and kind of taking those seat-of-the-pants impressions about who I like and actually putting those to the test. Instead of just saying subjectively, You know, who do I like here? I'm saying, Here is why I liked this person. Here on paper is objective, substantial evidence for it. And see, I broke up with a 99 for Emily who was my 100. That is my definition of not settling and that's why you need to probably think about running a spreadsheet like that also. So, what happens when you actually meet a woman you think could have the potential for being the one for you? Well first, both of you have got to be half of a great relationship. Neither one of you can have serious emotional damage. Both of you have got to like MOTOS [Members Of The Opposite Sex]. You both have got to like the respective members of the opposite sex. You can't have any feelings of hate or resentment towards each other or towards the opposite sex in general. Both of you have to be ready and willing to commit. So, do you see how that all fits together? First of all, you have to appreciate each other even at the gender level. Then both of you have to be free from anything that's going to restrict you from enjoying a great relationship. If there's anything you need to go through therapy for, if there's anything she needs to go through therapy for, that's all going to happen before you decide to commit to her. And, if either one of you is still thinking, You know, I'm really not done dating yet. I'm really not ready for a life long commitmentif you even differ at the philosophical level about lifetime commitment, you're not ready for each other. You're not ready for this relationship. Also, self esteem. There can be no hypersensitivity where she thinks that you're belittling her or making fun of her all the time even when you mean well. When your compliments are seen as mockery instead of being genuine, that's a huge red flag. If she says I'm sorry all the time, that's another huge indicator that her self esteem isn't where it should be. It's not as simple as if she can't love herself, she can't love you, it's even deeper. See guys, if she hates herself, she's going to actually hate you for trying to love her. Imagine that. This woman must also support your life goals. And you must have life goals, you know, ambition worth supporting. She wants to be your cheerleader. She wants to believe in your
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competence and she wants to give you the approval that all men want. Just like you should want to create a safe world for her where she is well provided for. This is just going to make it easy for this woman to love you and be a great wife for you someday, or a great long-term companion for you someday. If she can support your life goals If she can be there at your side and feel good about it If there's nothing there that's going to make her feel morally uneasy about what you're doing If she's not going to be bored by the life that you're going to be sharing together If you're leading her towards a reality that she wants to be a part ofobviously she's going to be happy to be there. And when you're dealing with a woman who is well adjusted socially and who believes in you, what better framework is there for having a great relationship? She's also not going to be a gold digger. She's going to be appreciative of your gifts--of your ability to provide for her--without adopting a sense of entitlement. She's going to be a giver who can accept generosity. Very, very important. If a woman can't accept your gifts, that's a major indicator that she's a very selfish person because she would feel put out, as it were, by having to give something to you. And if it's all give on your part and all take on her part and there's no reciprocity, you're going into a relationship were you're going to get the short end to the stick. There also has to be sexual compatibility in every single way. This is so crucial. The preferences of what she likes to do, what she doesn't want to do, how often she wants to have sex, what type of sex she likes, or inhibitions or fantasies, even her lifestyle choice. Are you going to be monogamous? Are you going to get into the swinging lifestyle? Is she bisexual? Does she want to bring women into the circle? All of these things youve got to figure out up frontand this woman has to be compatible with you in every single way. Further, you know, you're just not in it for the sex as we've said before--you see the actual depth in her. I'm telling you guys, the number of men out there who lack options and they meet one pretty woman and choose to marry her because they're clouded by beauty vision and just don't want to lose her--without ever even looking at what's under the surface--would astound you. If you look around in public, maybe this could be a good homework assignment or a good mission. Go look at the guys who just look miserable with the women they're with and note sometimes those women are even attractive. Its because at the fundamental core, they're not compatible people. Her world view has got to match yours. You could be agnostic or atheist and potentially make a huge a mistake of not seeing a woman's differing religious belief from yours as a big deal. But it is, because it's a key difference. The one whose convictions are stronger will always feel as if the other partner is seeking to compromise those convictions, whatever they may be. Meanwhile, the one who is unconstrained by certain moral boundaries will soon grow frustrated by limitations. So, yeah, whatever your world view looks like, whatever your moral code looks like, you've got to take that big picture into consideration. She's also got to be willing to follow your leadership and, of course, you know your leadership has got to be good leadership in order to
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make that likely. But importantly, even independent women with considerable personal power want a man who can be a leader. Women have got to have the ability to respect you. If a woman holds power over you in any way--sexually, yes, but also in terms of intelligence, decision making ability or social awareness--her confidence will not be inspired with regard to following your leadership. So yeah, this isn't all about just giving your power away sexually and her losing respect for you. She's got to be able to see you as a leader at every single level. Can you please this woman? If this woman is already nagging you, if nothing you can do is ever right, this will not change after you marry her. She's got to be thinking the best of you and of course, you've got to be thinking the best of her. Her first consideration at any giving moment has got to be that you have behaved as a man of character with her best interest at heart and that you do that perpetually. There's no paranoia that you're going to do her wrong. You as a man instinctively want to create security and provision for a woman. You should receive appreciation and support from a woman in that, such that your world is full of peace and harmony. Without her part in that, you can't succeed long term. Value her as a confidant. There's got to be open communication and trust and like we said before. You're going to want that. You're going to crave that. And without that, save yourself the trouble because that's a huge indicator that you have found the right woman. If you can talk to her about anything, if the two of you can share things with each other that even would be potentially embarrassing to share with other people, then you know you've got something good. Thats a key cornerstone to a long-term relationship. You also got to have a similar sense of adventure. Don't marry a woman who is phobic about flying, for example, if you want to see the world. If you want to go Australia and you want to go to Indonesia, you're going to be marrying the wrong woman because she's going to limit you from that. Can her idea of fun peacefully co-exist with yours? That's the question. Also, logistical compatibility. This could be as simple as her being a dog lover and you being allergic. You've got to look at these things and of course, character. You trust that what she does in private is congruent with what you see her doing before your very eyes. She does what she says she'll do, just like you do what you say you're going to do and you do in private and in public what's right to you at all times. Imagine the level of trustimagine not having to worry about this woman cheating on you. Imagine that you can go on a business trip and trust her and that she can trust you. So important to a long-term relationship. Marry a woman of character. Find that woman and test that character. And finally also, The Glow. When you look at her, you can just see emanating from her eyes the joy that you are in her life. She just adores you and it's written all over her face. If I have to explain this glow to you, you've probably never seen it before but you'll know it when
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you see it. When you have a woman who absolutely adores you in her presence, that energy comes across even as she looks at you. It's in her eyes, the eyes of course being the window of the soul. Well, her soul is absolutely beaming love and joy in your general direction all the time. You'll see this especially when you have a Big Four moment. When you act in courage or you act to protect her, you give her the love she needs, you express to her that's she is beautiful to youthat's when you going to start seeing this glow. After you take care of her in the bedroom, another great example when this is going to happen. The more you see it, the healthier that relationship is. Here are some things you want to avoid now in women you're seeing. I think a lot of times guys try to pull the wool over their own eyes and pretend stuff isn't going on when it's right before them--that there is this red flag. It's going to represent bad things in the future relationship but guys tend to ignore it. Here you go, guys. I'm going to be your 20/20 foresight. Here are some things you're going to want to avoid. First, is this woman inherently resentful of men in general? If she has no respect for men and can't trust them, why would any man who values femininity and respects a womans inherent humanity at all waste his time with her? Sure, maybe she's been damaged by past relationships but those guys were not you. So, you need not pay the price for that. Second of all, she refuses to support the man she's with and his hopes, dreams, and endeavors. If she can't share your vision and your victories, she is also likely not going to stand by you when life's inevitable setbacks happen. So, why commit to such an empty partnership? If she can't be at your side when things are going well, what's going to happen when things go awry? Is she going to cut and run on you? Three, you should avoid women who are ruthlessly selfish--where there is only take and no give. Guys feel taken advantage of. You feel strangely emasculated and such women are typically impossible to please. If you can't please her, why bother? You're never going to please her. It's not going to be happen, so you're with the wrong woman. Avoid a woman who's contentious. These are the women who want to wear the pants. Yet, even if she refuses your leadership, she is still going to lack respect for you if you don't exercise it anyway. No self-respecting man is going to live the rest of his life this way except in sitcoms, right? Everybody loves Raymond--this is a classic lose-lose situation. You show me a woman who wears the pants, I'm going to show you a better woman. And guys, women who are continually testing guys trying to wrest control of the relationship with the my way or the highway attitude towards their guys, they're stacking the deck against themselves in terms of being one-half of a great relationship and enjoying a great relationship sometime in the future. This is her problem, not yours. A lot of times guys think, Okay, women are these wonderful perfect angels. They don't have any relationship problems. So, anything that happens must
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be the guys' fault. Guys, get over yourselves. Masculine shame and guilt is no way to enter into a great relationship with a woman. If she's this kind of woman who can't handle masculine leadership, even as she doesn't respect guys we don't exercise it, you're with the woman who's got issues in terms of being able to have a great relationship. Avoid her. What about women who are negative? What if she hates all sorts of things? You're going to have to fight to avoid being drawn in by that. And you're optimism, if not squelched under pressure, will be a lonely voice. Most guys aren't buying into that lifestyle long-term no matter how hot she is. It's just a drag to be with someone negative in your life. So, here it is. Have you said, Hey, you know what, I'm going to eliminate all negativity from my life. I'm not going to hang around with my friends anymore if they're negative. But you meet this woman who is negative, but she's so beautiful you don't want to get rid of her. You're barking up the wrong tree. That's a red flag. What about women who avoid risk? Now, forget about having to give up your Yamaha YZFR1 and, say, you're kiteboarding habit here. This woman is afraid you might not ever come home alive when you go to the driving range. This not only adds up to boredom with a quickness, he starts feeling about as restricted as a straight jacket. So women who are really, really protective and not very adventurous, again this comes back to you and she having a common vision for what's fun in life. Now, what about women who are jealous, which we've talked about a bit in the core intro program? Did you know there's an inverse correlation between how insanely jealous she is, and how excited you are going to be to be with her for years. Either that or you should check your pulse. After all, rumor has it that the jealous ones are the cheaters themselves. So, this is something to think about. Avoid women who are jealous, guys. Also, women who openly flirt with other guys. Now this could be the most devastating mistake women who want commitment ever make. It's sort of like the mirror image of being jealous--trying to instigate the jealousy in you or to test you in that way. Or maybe she's just oblivious to the fact that her flirtation is really insulting to you. She'll say things like, Oh, him? He and I are just really, really, good friends. Well, face it. If you think there's any doubt she'll remain faithful to you, you aren't going to subject yourself to the potential humiliation. Avoid a woman like that also. At this point, I want to address the concept of testing a relationship with the woman that you've identified as having a long-term potential. Now see, some guys want to lock down a woman because they think she's great and they don't want to risk losing her. This is symptomatic of desperation and a lack of options. You've got to test the relationship with the woman you suspect is great and could be the one for you. Otherwise, you're doing yourself and her a disservice. Now, here's what I don't mean by this. This does not involve flirting. This does not involve cheating or doing anything that would otherwise jeopardize a good thing. You're not talking about major breaches of trust here just to see what she'll do, to see how she respond. I mean
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let's face it, as a guy whos one half of a great relationship, your interest is not in taking a great woman and pushing the envelope to see what you can get away with later. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking more like testing and purifying as you would gold. A huge fear is that she is fronting you and that she will suddenly change when you marry her. A lot of guys really fear that. That's exactly what happened to me. First time around when I married my first wife, she was actually a completely different person within hours of marrying her. It was really horrifying and like I said, it happens to other guys not just to me. So, how do you summarily get rid of this possibility? Well, first of all you can know her health history. If she is on mood-altering medication, that's easy enough to figure out. If she has got a history of psychosis, that's something else all together and a major red flag. Now, of course, in the United States there's the HIPAA Act, which keeps you from getting to her medical records. But Ill tell you what guys, if she doesn't disclose that to you, if she doesn't really want to tell you some things that have happened to her in earlier parts of her life or she doesn't want to tell you her medical history, I think that's all the indication you need. You've got to see this woman when the chips are down. If you've never seen her in a stress situation, you've got to before actually marrying her. This is where what I call the windshield time principle is absolutely invaluable. What you do is you buy plane tickets to a place, rent a car and drive around in this amazing place for a thousand or 1500 miles over the course of two or three days. Guys, if you can go driving together for extended periods of time and not get on each other's nerves, that's an absolutely great indication that you're going to be able to get along when you're cohabitingwhen you're building a life together. This is kind of like living together without living together, if you know what I mean. It's kind of like a micro version of that. So, yeah. Buy the plane tickets and rent a car. Go to California Wine Country. Go to Arizona. Go to New England in the fall and watch the leaves change. Go somewhere where you could have a great time and pay very careful attention to how you're getting along as you're driving over the miles. And guess what? After you've done it the first time, wait a little bit and maybe a few months later in the relationship, after you've had even more time to get to know each other, do it all over again. Take her on another trip and see if everything is still as cool as it was before. Design your dating phase so that every conceivable life situation is covered. In other words, go shopping together. Go visit a friend in the hospital together. Do things that are going to put you in life situations that you know you're going to face on a daily bases, or even on a sometimes basis, as you build a life together. See how every one of them goes. See if your level of compatibility remains the same throughout. And you know, I could give you more examples, but for every couple, those different situations are going to vary. In other words, if you like to dance and she likes to dance, you need to go dancing together a few times. It could really be as simple as that. Don't rush in quickly, ever. You know, here's a funny thing. I was 95% sure Emily was the
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one for all time within 20 minutes of meeting her. That's a fact, and of course that was based on me having dated well over a hundred women and spent exactly as much time with the vast majority of them that I saw fit. Yet, even after meeting Emily I still waited 9 months to marry her. That should speak volumes. If you have been dating a woman for literally years and still won't commit to her though, you're probably not with the right woman. You probably shouldn't commit to her and you probably won't commit to her. Simply put, if committing to her is a decision that's tough for you to make, it's probably the wrong decision. But see, guys will stay with questionable women, thinking something better will come along. And indeed, the commitment phobe often does marry the very next woman he meets after he finally has the guts to split up from the girlfriend of many years he just couldn't pull the trigger on marrying. That is something to think about. See, if you're with the long-time girlfriend and she is pressuring you to marry her, and you're just not feeling it; your first thought may be, You know, I've spent so much time with this woman, I can't just throw that all away. And you know what? That's probably what's going on in her mind also. But you can't see it as a waste of time. You've got to see it as a period in your life where you enjoyed being with her, but now it's time to free both of you to meet the person who is right for you. Can you get yourself into that mindset if youve had a woman for many years that you're not ready to pull the trigger on marrying? Can you do that? Because that's very, very important. Otherwise, you know what happens. You're going to settle. But see, if you have the confidence and the sheer guts to leave that wrong woman first, you're going to have helped both of you lead a happier life someday. And see, such is the plight of a man without options. He flat out settles for the first woman who seems better than the others he has had lately. Either that or he settles for the woman with the best sales skill, the woman who can keep him around. And you know what guys? I've seen that happen in my life too. I was dating four or five women and one woman was very, very much the sales woman in her ability to get me to commit to her for an exclusive relationship. I fell for that and I was sorry. She wasn't even actually my favorite woman of the five I was seeing. I just didn't want to lose her. Do you see how dysfunctional this can get, really quickly? Make no mistake. Women are indeed commitment-driven in a manner very similar to how many men are sex-driven. If they can't get outside of their own head, theyre going to pressure men to commit just like a guy pressures a woman for sex. If you fall for that pressure, you know what? You're exactly like the woman who spreads her legs, simply to keep a manipulative guy in her life. It's the exact same thing. So with that, let's talk about how to settle-proof yourself once and for all. Of course you can't settle. You must pick a woman who is everything you're looking for. She's got to be your hundred out of a hundred on that spreadsheet that you built for yourself. Sometimes we get clouded by beauty vision as I say and guys, you got to know how to evaluate your emotions
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vis--vis solid logic, because settling leads to divorce later. Both of you are humiliated in that situation. So, here you go, here's how to settle-proof yourself. First, when considering a brand new woman to date, teleport yourself into the future. Honestly consider how you'll feel having been exclusive with her after a few months. You may think she's pretty sharp now, but if you honestly evaluate the situation, you already know she's lacking in a few places that you're going to seriously wish she wasn't lacking in after the novelty of the relationship wears off. Every day you may see women you find somewhat attractive and each will endear themselves to you in a distinct way and to a varying degree. But with that sea of women around you, understand that building long-term plans with the woman who doesn't bring your vision of the complete package to the table is going to mean an inevitable comparison to other women down the road. And that's not going to be positive for you either of you. Second, how do you feel about introducing this woman to your friends? We talked about introducing each other to friends in the core intro program and here's a twist on that. She may be attractive to you, but are you sort of embarrassed to take her out in public? Do you fear your friends are going to think you could do better? Is there a chance she will publicly humiliate you in a social setting? If you're feeling any of this stuff, it makes no logical sense whatsoever to form a partnership with her. Next, imagine you've already seen her naked a hundred times, and have had sex with her about as often. Are you going to have long since been bored? Have you already looked at her and realized she isn't everything you want in the attraction department? And this is, of course, at the beginning stages. Are you already feeling like this? Even if you're obsessed over her extreme hotness at the moment, have you considered that if the entire relationship has been built around sex that you will burn out sooner then later-perhaps based on sheer familiarity? And most importantly, is it going to be based on sex? Can you look deeper? Are you finding the character traits that you want in a great woman? Next, do you actually enjoy her company? Now, I know this sounds like a goof ball question. It sounds so obvious but based from what I've seen out there, I had to ask. She may be the best thing who has come along in years, or so you think, but are you basing that premise, again, purely on physical attraction? If she gets on your nerves now, guys--or vice versa, which is important to understand--that isn't going to get any better later. I can assure you. Next, is life actually more fulfilling for you with her in it? Are you looking forward to taking her with you on that next adventure you have planned or would you really rather leave her at home to watch Lifetime channel while you spend time with your friends instead? Do you foresee your future plans and life-long dreams coming to fruition with her in your life, or do you see them being postponed, if not scuttled completely? Again, the point here is, is this woman your cheerleader? Is she standing by you? Does she believe in the plan you have for your reality together? Is she behind your ambition 100% or is she going to stand in the way of it?
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Next, are you trying to overlook serious character issues in this woman? Are you just sticking your head in the sand when it's clear she has addictions, jealousy issues, or a demonstrated history of disrespecting you? Guys, if a woman's a raging alcoholic--if she has got drug addictions, gambling addictions--she is not the right woman for you to be spending your life with and you can't just say, Hey look, I'm going to flip a switch and change her. You know, we talked about women wanting to change guys and seeing them kind of as this project for them to fixlike a fixer-upper. Guys, you know what? We do that to woman all the time too because we idealize a relationship. We idealize her in a way that just isn't really going to happen because she's got to be the one who makes those changes of her own accord. You just can't force them on her. It never really happens. It doesn't happen for women when they try to change us, and it doesn't happen for us when we try to change women. So, is this woman someone who is jealous? Does she have a demonstrated history of disrespecting you? That's the wrong woman. These are serious character issues. Are you fully confident that this woman wouldn't cheat on you or betray you in some other way? These are the kind of questions you've got to ask. If you get this strange feeling that there's something about her you're not being told? If so, trust your instincts on that. Try to draw her out. Try to get her to converse about some of the things that have gone on in her life. If you have any questions at all, ask them--especially if it looks like your headed toward a long-term relationship. Finally, and this one's importantit's like barometer. Do you envy guys who appear to have higher quality women with them? We touched upon this earlier. Do you get that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach when you go out and see other guys--maybe a lot of other guys--with women you perceive to be higher quality? And what if you think those guys may not have deserved those women as much as you feel like you could have? Have you actually gone so far as to count how many guys in a particular public place you'd gladly trade places with? Do you come home from social events feeling angry or even resentful towards your woman even though she didn't do anything in particular to cause it? These are the kind of things that could be triggering in you this red flag that you're going to be settling for a woman. So now, let's turn our attention to talking about what life with a great woman looks like. First of all, when you've identified this great woman and you feel like you're headed to something great with her in your life together, the first policy you've got to have is an honesty policy. Even when she looks fat in her jeans like we talked about in the core intro program, you've got to tell her what you think. This is how trust is built because see, then when she goes and changes her clothes and you tell her she looks wonderful, she's going to get that glow we talked about. She's going to believe you.
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Another thing that happens when you're in a life with a great woman is you don't make comparisons. She's not saying to you, Well, you know what? My friend Mary's husband is like this and if you were a better husband you be like that too. And you don't say to her, You know? Joe's wife looks kind of good slim. She's lost some weight. Why don't you go do the same thing? This is odious guys. This is going to kill your relationship and people who are in a solid relationship with someone they're glad to be in a relationship with--someone they're psyched to be with--just don't behave like that towards each other. There's also got to be fast forgiveness. This characterizes a great relationship with a great woman. We talked about that in the Core Intro program. Guys, everybody makes mistakes. We're all going to do something wrong. We're all going to hurt each other in some way. Now, again, we're not talking about major breaches of trust here. It's not like she's cuckolded you by sleeping with the entire football team at the same time and then you go, Oh! That was okay honey. I forgive you. That's different. That's a major breach of trust. I'm talking about, she goes to the store. You ask her to pick up something for you, and she forgets to pick it up. If you hammer her If you keep on rubbing it in If you insult her because she forgot to do something like that for youand then two weeks later when she goes to the store again, you say to her, Hey, don't forget stuff like you did last time. Guess what? You're not forgiving her. These women who will bring up stuff that happened six months, a year agothese are the women who have this issue in their life. They have a hard time forgiving the guy they're with. This is not how a great relationship is structured. You've got to forgive each other. You've got to think the best of each other. In other words, when you take a little bit too long to gas up the car, she can't be back at home thinking, Well, you know what? Hes probably out banging his bimbo girlfriend. She can't be thinking like that and you've got to be thinking the best of her too. If its her turn to balance the checkbook you can't be saying, Yeah. Well, you know what? She's probably going to screw everything up and we're going to end up overdrawn again. You can't be thinking like that. You've always got to be there for each other and thinking the best about each other because that's how you build each other up. And that's really how you become greater than the sum of your individual parts together. You've also got to predetermine a strategy for dealing with disagreements. Some people say, Hey, you know what? Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Sometimes if you're very emotional people, that's just not viable. I've got a surprise for you. We're going to do a bonus track on how to deal with conflict and we're going to talk about this in more detail because this is a huge relationship management issue. But for now, make sure that you and her come up with some way that you're going to handle disagreements. Don't say anything hateful. Don't let it resort to insults. Make a plan with each other that you'll promise not to say things to each other that you regret later, and
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sometimes you'll have to agree to disagree. Now, Emily and I agree on an awful lot and, of course, the more you agree with a person, the more that signals that you're compatible long-term. Obviously, you shouldn't have core disagreements on things. Like for example, how to raise kids, how to manage finances, etc. But when you do disagree on things--you know, common every day things--make sure you're civil with each other. And guys, heres a very, very important hint. The first person who raises their voice usually loses an argument. Be civil. Don't raise your voice with a woman. Don't do anything thats going to hurt her, and don't lose your cool. Also fill your life with adventure. If you fall into this rut where you do the same thing over and over again like we've talked about elsewhere in The Leading Man. If you just decide from minute one that you are going to lay there and watch movies all the time, you're going to get bored with each other and you're going to get bored with your life. She's not going to be happy. Make sure from the get-go that you go mountain biking together. If you have a certain hobby that you want to do want to do together--if you want to go salsa dancing together, if you want to learn tango together, if you want to learn Italian together, if you want to go to certain restaurants, go on trips--make sure you set the precedent by doing those things early on in the relationshipand keep doing it for the rest of your life. She's going to appreciate you for that. Even if she's not the kind of person who likes to go sky diving, you can still find adventures--even if its just going to Wine Country and going to the wine tasting rooms, or anything like that. Whatever you enjoy doing together as a pair are things you should do now, and keep doing. Another very important way to have a great relationship and keep it going long-term is to fill your life with friends. Don't just fly solo all the time. Meet some other great couples. Be social, go out and enjoy your time with them. It's very, very majorly important to do that. In fact, hanging out with friends like that and taking a load off--having those other people influencing you in your life--is like this magic elixir that cures daily stresses and things that may be weighing down on your relationship elsewhere. So in short, be there for each other. Fill your life up with fun and friends. Avoid all the ruts that are going to create monotony in your relationship and you're on your way to a great relationship with a great woman. Now, let's talk about meeting friends and meeting parents like we talked a little bit about in the crisis management programbut I want to drill down on it more here. Here's exactly the procedure when you meet her friends for the first time. Be everything you are to her, only don't flirt directly with the friends. You can be masculine, you can be confident, you can be a man who inspires confidence; but all flirtation is directed towards the woman in your life. Give women who are her friends attention and think of them as women you would want to JBF. I know that's kind of a funny thought, but as long as you consider her friends women that you
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have JBFed, you're pretty much going to be safe from the standpoint of flirting with them and so forth. But they're still going to love you because they're going to see how you love her and they're going to see that you're a great guy. And it's not really like you're trying to please these women. You don't need their approval obviously, but I'll tell you something. If her friends like you, life is going to be a lot easier for you. That's a good thing. So don't be rude, distant, or chase them away as some sort of defense mechanism. Don't worry about attracting them to you. On one level, you cant even control that anyway, so don't even worry about it. If women get that way, it just means that the social proof with your girlfriend will actually increase. Don't let women try to seduce you either if they're friends of your woman. Some of your chick's friends maybe jealous enough to have ulterior motives. Always keep that at the forefront. Women often have friends who are really not friends at all, but who will try to undermine her and/or try to take her happiness away. The combination of a woman who is beautiful, kind hearted, and not socially snobbish is a great one for you; but it often means that she can attract friends who will be jealous of her, ultimately, and perhaps manipulative. Don't feed this. And in fact, call it out if it happens. If your relationship with a woman is strong enough, do not be afraid to point out her when you feel she's being manipulated or used especially if you're being drawn into that. This protects your relationship. Now, when you meet parents, be genuine and be that the Big Four guy while toning down the sexuality. You don't have to go Mr. Nice guy because thats going to be seen as somewhat fake and manipulative even to the parents, but you do take the sexuality off the table temporarily. Sometimes you won't be able to help it and there will be a little flirtation going on. Usually if it comes across even to dad that you just have the best interest of the woman at heart, then that's going to go well for you. In fact, the concept of having the woman's best interest at heart is the number one concept. If you can demonstrate some common social skill in that process of communicating that fundamental thing to them, then you usually can't go wrong. Now, here's the caveat. Be very careful about creating too much attraction in mom. Now listen, I know at first blush this sounds preposterous, but think of it this way: Her and her mom are from the same gene pool. If you successfully attracted the daughter, there is a very strong possibility mom would be attracted to you. Again, lay off the charm a little bit with mom. You want to be a guy who has the best interest of the daughter at heart. You want to be this Big Four guy but be real careful with mom because thats just going to piss dad off. But I've seen it happen in my own life and I've heard stories in fables from other guys where this happened also, so definitely be aware. Now to tie up this section, let's talk about another couple of things to keep in mind when you're meeting parents.
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First of all, especially during the holiday season or at times that are particularly important in the woman's life, you may have meeting the parents thrust upon you at any given time when you're not even really ready. If her parents live in the same city as she does, you may be over her house having dinner and mom may drop by, just out of the blue. Always be ready to meet the parents. Always keep in mind what I'm telling you here. If you are this genuine, authentic guy, who's got his life handled, has the woman's best interest at heart--if you're a Big Four guy--then things are going to go well for you. Remember always, those are the key. I would also recommend keeping the first meeting with parents short. Now, I realize sometimes it may be a wedding or a big holiday get together and you're not going to have particular control over this aspect of things, but think of it like that first call with the woman you met online. You don't want it to drag on for two hours, or whatever. Think of it like the first time you meet her and ask her for her number. You don't want to draw out that conversation after you get her number. Why? Because the longer you protract things, the more likely something is going to go awry. And you want that first impression with the parents--just like you want that first impression with her--to be a good one. So, keep things brief, keep things cordial. You'll do the right thing, everything will go well. Nothing to sweat. So now, let's talk about how to keep wearing the pants once you've established yourself as a man that she's going to be able to respect. How do you keep that up for long term? Well, you know, most guys don't wake up and decide to give over control of a relationship to a woman. They don't just wake up one day and decide that. Nor did the woman actually want to get there, like we talked about. Show me a woman wearing the pants and I will show you a bitter woman. They may test your ability to lead, but it's not because they want to lead. They just want to know--and need to know--that you can. So, how do you not only lead now, but make sure you still keep leading for the long term in the relationship? Well, here's the secret. When you stop wearing the pants. When you start becoming what I'd call p-whipped, which is the opposite of wearing the pants. It creeps up on you. It doesn't just happen one day, and here is how it can start creeping up on you. Number one is control by weakness on the woman's part. She's feeling sick or too tired, So will you cater to her again because you kind of feel sorry for her? And since you're sick of the place looking like hell, you also do the dishes while you're at it. And you pick up all the trash. And you clean the bathroom (again) because she didn't get to it, and she doesn't apparently want to get to it. Now, I'm not saying that the opposite should be the case, and that she should do all the heavy lifting around the house, I'm simply demonstrating how the balance shifts from a reasonable place to you all the time. Now, do you see how a guy could actually feel like in some pseudo-sense that he's leading there, but really he's being controlled by her weakness? She's in control. She's in charge.
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Here's the second one. Stepping up when she messes up. This is born of a perfectionist mentality towards her. You're not giving her the chance to mess up. You're not thinking the best of her, like we've talked about, and you're not forgiving her mistakes. And how that ends up manifesting itself in your life together is as follows For example, she's burned your dinner and/or put too much salt in the spaghetti sauce one time too many. So, you end up cooking dinner from now on. She threw a red t-shirt in with your white socks again, ruining every pair you have. So you do your own laundry from now on. And whenever she does the grocery shopping, she has this way of buying a hundred dollars worth of stuffand nothing to eat. Man, have you ever seen that happen before? There's nothing you can just grab out of the fridge. She forgets the beer, but somehow she spent a hundred dollars--and you don't even see how the cabinets look any different after she put everything away. Well, if she demonstrates incompetence in any way, real or even perceived, you're going to pretty much take over everything, aren't you? And then, she's going to be in control. She's going to be sitting around doing nothing, while you're doing everything. Next, dreading her drama over even the little things. Now, face it. We as guys can't stand theatrical demos and hurt feelings. The last thing a typical guy wants to handle is having made a woman cry. So, instead of dealing with the fallout from potential conflict, we avoid it all togetherand she starts wearing the pants. Next, thinking the woman is out of your league. If you're not used to having very high quality options when it comes to women, you may very well feel you've hit the freaking jackpot when a true hottie walks into your life. If your mindset is such that you feel you're going to have to be Mr. Perfect in order to pull off keeping her around, you're toast. You're going to be Mr. Nice guy, and she's just going to get bored, disinterested, and lose respect for you. At best, she's going to wear the pants. At worst, she's just going to disappear. Finally, thinking it's harder to break up and start all over again than just to let it ride. You may see yourself becoming a bit resentful and dissatisfied with how things are already going in the relationship. But in your mind, it sounds like too much work to end this relationship and have to find another woman. After all, how bad can it possibly get? you may say to yourself. Some people have nobody in their lives, so, at least you have someone. Once that woman knows youre going to stick around no matter what happens, she's going to own you. It's going to get ugly. So guys, remember the one who wants the relationship the least is the one who is in-charge. The more you beg and grovel and say to that woman, Well, I just don't want to lose you, the more she's going to wear the pants. The more she's going to start letting you take care of things through control by weakness. The more she's just going to say, Hey, you know what? I can be complacent and he's going to stick around no matter what.
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Now, building on this concept, let's talk about how to divorce-proof yourself. This is a little deeper. This goes a little bit further. You all need to take breaks from each other, but check in. If you're with each other every single day, all the time, you're going to get on each other's nerves. Its going to be like cabin fever. So, take a little bit of time from each other. Let her take a little bit of time with her friends. You go take some time with your friends. Go on a business trip here and there without her. That's a good thing in the context of a long-term relationship. Make sure there's no mystery regarding your whereabouts though. Make sure you know that you can always actually pick up the phone and check in with each other, even if you don't always exercise that option. Again, you don't want to look too needy, evereven in a longterm relationship. Next, don't inspire jealousy. Don't go places where you're going to get flirted with, and don't go places on her whim where you know she's going to get hit on by a bunch of guys just so that she can have this prurient sense of having demonstrated to you that, Hey look, I still have options. I still have guys who care about me, and try to rub it in somehow. Again, don't do that to her either. Inspiring jealousy is a very dangerous gambit. Next, don't tolerate double standards. Nip them in the bud. If she is allowed to go hang out with her friends and you're not, that's a key example of a double standard. This is a woman trying to manipulateher trying to get an upper hand in a relationship. And frankly, if she's a great woman, she wouldn't dream of doing that to you. And if you're a great man, you wouldn't dream of having double standards with her. Budget your finances. Remember, the precedent for this is set from the beginning as mentioned in the core intro program. If you start off by spending a lot of money on her, it's going to be hard to break that habit later. And so if you can't afford it, don't set the precedent. And don't clam up when something is up. Build the habit of open conversation early and don't shred her up when she's honest with you. You should expect that honesty. You should reward that honesty even when its something you don't necessarily want to hear. And when you all should be talking, don't stop talking instead. Communication really is the key to a long-term relationship. Here you go also: Take care of her needs in the bedroom. Alex Allman was kind enough to provide a killer bonus called Revolutionary Sex For Couples. I am not a sex adviser, but absolutely take full advantage of that bonus because if you're taking care of your woman in the bedroom, your relationship is going to go better at every level. She's not going to be quite as edgy. She's going to be nicer to you. Things are going to be a lot more even-keeled around the house. Everybody's going to be friendlier with each other. When you're not taking care of your woman in the bedroom, that's when she starts looking elsewhere--whether she wants to or notto get that satisfaction. And again, she's going to
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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be responsible for her own actions. We talk about that a lot. There's not any way you can make this woman go cheat on you. It's going to be her decision. But if you're not taking care of her in the bedroom, I'm telling you, it's going to be a lot more likely that she's going to look elsewhere. So, do so. Remember, women follow your lead. If you've married a great woman, she's going to reciprocate it and it will be mind blowing. So as you lead, so will you get in return. So, the question really is, how strong is your character, and what do you want that long-term relationship to look like? And, have you chosen the right woman who shares that vision? Finally, to wrap things up here, let's talk briefly about what happens when kids come along later, because it does change the dynamic of a relationship with a great womanbecause there's more people involved. First, some people say you should get a dog to prepare for having kids. I'll tell you what, nothing prepares you for this. First of all, do what you can to plan the kids so that there's one less source of drama. If you have unplanned pregnancies, and kids sort of happen into life when you're not really ready for them at least emotionally, financially, from a maturity level--, whatever the case If you're not ready for the kids when they come, that's going to create stress and strain between the two of you. I mean, you'll still love the children, of course. But you're not going to be quite as ready as you could have been, having prepared for those kids and having them come at the right time in your life. So, yes, be fastidious with the birth control and absolutely talk together about the timing of the kids in your life. And try your best to make sure that timing is right. And also, never stop dating after kids come along. This is very important, especially after a baby is just born. Because you know what? If you don't have anyone around who can watch the kid, you're screwed. So, consider this before you move intentionally far away from where any family members are. Because it's really hard to move to a new place also and find a baby sitter that you can trust. And if you do have someone who can watch the baby, take a weekender here and there without guilt. You're going to be a better parent for it. When you recharge those batteries its kind of like taking a vacation from work. It's necessary to be better at what you do--in this case, parenting. Make time for a continued sex life. If the baby is asleep, take full advantage of that opportunity. You must do this. You must take care of that woman in the bedroom even after you've become parents. And when you have a newborn, it's not going to be easy. But you've got to do it. It may not be on your schedule, so guys make sure you're up for this whenever the time arises because it's that important. Don't let kid responsibilities cause arguments. Kid responsibilities will cause stress and strain if you let them. Go into that with your eyes open and make a pact to be a team. When the kids screaming, when you don't really know why the kids crying, when the kid gets older and things happen at school, when injuries happen; it's easy to get at each other's throats. A lot of
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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this comes back down to crisis management, which we're going to talk about in a full program dedicated to the subject. So guys, keep your eyes open here. Don't let the children in your life be a source of stress between the two of you. Always give this woman the attention she craves even with the new addition. It's easier for both partners to start focusing on the child to the detriment of their focus on one another. Be really, really cognizant of the fact that this is easy to let happen and be vigilant about it. Always continue to give that woman the attention she deserves because you love her, she loves you. She's the mother of your child. And, don't let tiredness drop your guard when it comes to being civil with each other. You're going to be tired a lotespecially after a child is just born. You must not let increased crankiness or snippiness take over. Always lead guys. Have an even-keel and when she is getting a little overwrought because of the child, hug her and tell her everything is going to be okayand mean it. Expect that she's going to get a little overwrought and don't hold it against her. Just like we said, that's how the world revolves in a relationship with a great woman. You're continually giving her the comfort and the security that she's always looking for. Well, that about covers it guys. We've gone over a lot of different aspects of not only identifying a great woman, not only weeding out the wrong ones from your life, but also of living that great relationship with the greatest woman you've ever met. I'm all but sure you have questions, and I'm happy to answer each and every one of them for you. Don't hesitate to e-mail me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com. Keep your questions brief, and of course if there's anything that you feel I should have covered that applies to your specific situation in life, you can absolutely address those with me. This is Scot McKay, from X & Y communications. You've been listening to The Leading Man relationship management system, and in particular this audio program on Secrets To Long Term Happiness With The Greatest Woman You've Ever Met. Until I talk at you again soonbe good.

E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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