Paige Watkins Ms.

Richard Composition I Rhetorical Analysis 10/2/13

Everyone likes to have fun and support a good cause. However, the presentation of the invitation is key. The initial purpose of the letter from the ABCD Department of Excellence was to generate funds and receive RSVPs for the departments end-of the year party. In the end, it only leaves the reader with multiple questions and doubts. The letter starts off with the facts: (1) the department is throwing their traditional end of the year party, (2) parties in the past have lacked alumni attendance, and (3) the party is being financed by the graduating class and additional financial support is needed. In the process of stating these facts the writers create an unappealing image of themselves. The lack of donations and RSVPs most definitely stems from lack of credibility and all of the errors that the letter displays. After reading the letter in its entirety, I felt as if I was being scammed as there is no letter head. Anytime a professional organization or department sends out anything it is put on letter head to provide authenticity. Secondly, there are a number of grammatical errors. For example, It has been featured hors doeuvres, a few cocktails and members of the Department and their spouses. This sentence is apparently missing something and in turn is incomprehensible. This, often times, signals a lack of knowledge or intelligence.

The biggest Red Flag is the large amount of missing information. There is no specific time and place for the party, although one could acquire this information once they RSVP; however the information on whom to RSVP seems faulty. There are four names given: Paul, Ringo, John, and George. There are no last names given nor is there any contact information given. Because of this, no one would be able to RSVP even if they wanted to. The only information that is fully provided is the location which to send donations. This generates suspicion. Why would you tell me where to send my money but not how to get in touch with the authors of the letter or where the location of the event is? The letter looks as if it comes from a sketchy con artist waiting to run away with every ones money. There is little to no emotional appeal. Theres not much that pulls at the heart strings or moves one to lend assistance. The concept of, Everyone wants to have fun and in order to have fun our party must be successful, has the potential to generate emotional sympathy. However, it is not presented strongly enough to have a real effect on the audience. The best way to get a better response from alumni would be to (1) correct all grammatical errors and sentence structures, (2) paint a more vivid picture of what the party really means to the department and the graduating class (more emotional appeal), and (3) fill in all missing information (letter head, last names, contact information, time and place of the party, etc.). As stated before, the key to success is all about presentation.