Bombs Bursting in Air Original Post The thesis of the essay is not clearly established until the first

sentence of paragraph 13. The authors intent is to focus on the fragility of life and the risk one takes when truly living. Living that includes love of family and friends. The organizational approach is primarily chronological as the author explains her point from the perspective of growing older. Much of the diction involves the use of terms appropriate for describing childhood experiences. Squishing me, squeaking out, Scooby-Doo and Tootsie Rolls are examples of childhood terminology. As the essay continued, the diction evolves with the aging child with terms such as cutest and beautiful girl of sixteen. The author uses a metaphor from the beginning of the essay, although it is not clear until midway that the bombs represent tragedies that can seep into our lives when we develop close relationships. In paragraph three the author uses short choppy sentences to describe how the daughter of a friend had discovered that her daughter had a brain tumor. The sentence structure is effective because it identifies the serious of the moment in very short order and takes the reader from a normal setting at the Junior Olympics to a life and death struggle of a child. Telling the story from in the first person as a narrative adds a personal touch that effectively delivers the message. Moments of Learning The reading was an excellent example of an exemplification essay. The title effectively used a metaphor, bombs bursting in air, to describe the fragility of life. Her style was extremely persuasive and her explanation of an abstract idea developed at a gradual pace. Her thesis was not clearly revealed until the 13th paragraph in the essay that was only 15 paragraphs in length. Each successive example was compelling and captured my attention completely. The first sentence of paragraph 13 effectively communicated her thesis. It was if a bomb had burst in my mind. I was completely persuaded because what she described could happen to me or to anyone who wants to truly live. The authors use of personal experiences was compelling and appropriate because her essay was about life. She did not devote a great deal of time developing her examples but did so sufficiently. In addition, she did not waver on a point of view. She made her point delicately but with passion. I learned how to use personal experiences to make a point. Using life experiences, especially those that the reader can relate too, is an effective way to grasp the attention of the audience and to help them make sense of a topic. The reader can appreciate the subject because of the context, especially when the example is one that hits close to home. Using multiple examples also makes the essay more interesting and the subject matter clearer. Finding the correct examples and organizing them appropriately is crucial though. Using patterns such as

cause-effect and comparison-contrast seems to fit well with exemplifications essays as they are similar styles.

Shooting an Elephant Original Post The main point of the essay was identified in paragraph 2 and again in paragraph 7. That imperialism and tyranny is a terrible thing. It is a terrible thing for the oppressor and the oppressed. The oppressor must assert his dominance not only through acts of physical control but by doing what the people expect of a tyrant. The narrative is told in first person and in chronological order. The conflict between the oppressed and the oppressor is identified early and the example of killing an elephant reinforces the theme. Vivid sensory description was used in paragraph 4 to describe the scene of the man that had been trampled by the elephant. I did appreciate the fact that the author was honest about his feelings towards imperialism even though he was part of the regime and despite the unpleasant treatment he suffered at the hand of the Burmese people. I also now understand how not to kill an elephant. The point of the essay was unclear at first and developed at a slow pace. The author could have established his point better by providing more details about the history of the British Empire in Burma. I am not familiar with the history and most readers probably share my ignorance. Moment of Learning In Shooting an Elephant the author effectively described the conflict he endured. The narration allowed the reader to experience the emotion of the moment and the human struggle in Burma. Narration is a completely new endeavor for me. I have used experiences in my life during conversations and speaking engagements to make a point but never in a writing assignment. The use of narration, especially when used in conjunction with vivid sensory language, is a great way to convey a message. As long as the story is appropriate for the thesis and one that can lure the interest of the reader sufficiently, narration is a great style and one I will certainly keep in mind for future writings. In addition, when using narration I will be careful not to let the story overshadow the message. If the reader is consumed by the events or details in the narrative they may miss the bigger picture. The challenge will be telling the story while maintaining a focus on the point. The conflict, while central to the purpose, must be described clearly and almost obvious to the reader. I also noticed that in some of the post from other students that they were somewhat distracted by the graphic description of the death of the elephant. When using narration, some details may be unavoidable but should be told with the

audience in mind. It may require the use of dramatic license to flavor the details in a more palatable way.

Shooting an Elephant Original Post The main point of the essay was identified in paragraph 2 and again in paragraph 7. That imperialism and tyranny is a terrible thing. It is a terrible thing for the oppressor and the oppressed. The oppressor must assert his dominance not only through acts of physical control but by doing what the people expect of a tyrant. The narrative is told in first person and in chronological order. The conflict between the oppressed and the oppressor is identified early and the example of killing an elephant reinforces the theme. Vivid sensory description was used in paragraph 4 to describe the scene of the man that had been trampled by the elephant. I did appreciate the fact that the author was honest about his feelings towards imperialism even though he was part of the regime and despite the unpleasant treatment he suffered at the hand of the Burmese people. I also now understand how not to kill an elephant. The point of the essay was unclear at first and developed at a slow pace. The author could have established his point better by providing more details about the history of the British Empire in Burma. I am not familiar with the history and most readers probably share my ignorance. Moment of Learning In Shooting an Elephant the author effectively described the conflict he endured. The narration allowed the reader to experience the emotion of the moment and the human struggle in Burma. Narration is a completely new endeavor for me. I have used experiences in my life during conversations and speaking engagements to make a point but never in a writing assignment. The use of narration, especially when used in conjunction with vivid sensory language, is a great way to convey a message. As long as the story is appropriate for the thesis and one that can lure the interest of the reader sufficiently, narration is a great style and one I will certainly keep in mind for future writings. In addition, when using narration I will be careful not to let the story overshadow the message. If the reader is consumed by the events or details in the narrative they may miss the bigger picture. The challenge will be telling the story while maintaining a focus on the point. The conflict, while central to the purpose, must be described clearly and almost obvious to the reader. I also noticed that in some of the post from other students that they were somewhat distracted by the graphic description of the death of the elephant. When using narration, some details may be unavoidable but should be told with the

audience in mind. It may require the use of dramatic license to flavor the details in a more palatable way.

What I really liked: Family Counterculture Original Post Who do you think is the intended audience for Goodman's article? Goodmans intended audience is American parents as pointed out in paragraph one. Parents are the counterculture and are included by simply acquiring a child. Having a child places them in a position where conflict is possible. The audience could also include the media, the grocers association, and the parental responsibility group. These groups are identified in paragraphs two and five and represent the opposition that is creating the problem parents must negotiate. While I dont believe they are the primary audience, the message is clearly intended for their ears as well. Goodmans audience may include children too. While younger children would not be able to comprehend or even read the article, older children might stumble upon it themselves or have it identified by their concerned parents. Lastly, expecting parents and those considering the possibility of raising children would likely consider the points made by Goodman and find the article of interest. Do you agree with all of the marginal annotations? If not, explain why you don't agree. Is there any other critique you would give? I agree that the beginning paragraph is interesting. It immediately caught my attention with the use of humor and a twist on the term counterculture. The second paragraph uses light humor by referencing Lamaze and PTA and sets the stage for the rest of the piece. I would also agree that the use of statements from the American Academy of Pediatrics and the research results from Barbara Whitehead added credibility to her thesis. Paragraph six was not relevant and was also confusing. I had to read it three times to decipher her point. I am not particularly concerned with the use of but as a transition. It did not hamper the flow although there are other ways to begin the paragraph and avoid the criticism. Paragraph nine does a good job of summing up the problem by using real life examples of barriers that parents face in the midst of the never ending job of parenting. Paragraph 13 follows up on paragraph seven with a great ending sentence that very effectively counters the argument made by the parental responsibility group.

What are your thoughts concerning Goodman's ideas about counterculture? I would agree with the point she is trying to make. While parents do need to exercise a great deal of responsibility, they are faced with a culture that cannot be avoided and can easily capture the attention of children and challenge the influence of even the most alert parents. Goodman does not offer a solution because she does not have one. Her intent was to bring attention to the plight of parents in America and to leave the solution to others that are more qualified. It was refreshing to read an article written by an author wise enough to identify a problem and even wiser to leave the solution to those more qualified.

What I really liked I selected this discussion because it required the use of critical thinking more than the others. We were asked to break the article down into smaller pieces and look at it from different perspectives. Doing so made me reflect more deeply and I hope, produced a better evaluation of the piece. The attempt to determine the audience was not done in a cursory fashion because we were specifically asked to discuss our perspective. The increased focus on the area made me explore possibilities beyond the obvious and produced alternate conclusions. The requirement to consider the marginal annotations in the essay forced me to view an evaluation of the piece from the perspective of another reader. The requirement again involved the use of critical thinking as increased attention was given to multiple parts of the essay. The step by step requirement illuminated details that I might have ordinarily overlooked. I was also given the freedom to disagree. Commenting on the authors thoughts provided an opportunity to evaluate the overall intent of the piece. Looking at the essay from a broader perspective without concern for the techniques that were utilized was a break from the more tedious technical evaluation. The subject matter was a controversial one but the author did a good job of expressing a valid point of view. I happen to agree with her and thought I did a good job evaluating her work.

The Values Wasteland Original Post The thesis for the essay can be found in the last two sentences of the first paragraph. While the thesis is somewhat ambiguous, it is later more clearly defined. In paragraph four the term IDeserve-its (IDIs) sheds additional light on the thesis but there is still room for clarification. The last sentence of paragraph five uses vivid sensory language to compare the number of moral

choices to a jumbled smorgasbord. The last sentence of paragraph eight builds on the thesis with an interesting statement, leave it to fourth graders to work out questions of right and wrong on their own. In paragraph nine another sentence helps to establish the thesis, In the end, they argue, every child had to make his own choices and the last sentence, its goal was empowering youngsters to make their own decisions, whatever those decisions were. A number of other sentences contribute to the thesis such as develop an individual identity in paragraph 11, reduces moral choice to a matter of personal taste in paragraph 13, moral questions come down in the end simply to a matter of opinion in paragraph 17, and this notion that values are something they work out on their own in paragraph 18. From these sentences the thesis can be seen as a criticism of the values clarification curriculum and the ways in which values are shaped in the youth of today. The organizational approach is emphatical as the essay uses several examples, some well-defined as in paragraphs one and fifteen and less developed as in paragraph 17. The last example asking students to choose between saving their beloved dog and a stranger leaves the reader with a compelling example of the curriculums failure. Even students who choose to save the life of the stranger do not find the alternate decision morally objectionable. At my first reading the first paragraph seemed to have more impact but when the essay was read in its entirety and as the thesis became clearer, the last paragraph made a bigger impact. The diction is not complicated especially when considering the subject matter. The author could have chosen complicated psychological and sociological terms but chose to keep the diction simple to enable any reader to follow it. He certainly intended the work to be read by educated and uneducated parents, educators, and even children. He chose to use diction such as blithely, ethical meltdown, agenda, and rationalize to help build the tone but not in a way that is overly descriptive. One term that is seen several times in the essay is the word self. Self-centered, selfcontrol, self-gratification, self-actualization, and self-realization are used to help to build on the thesis and the authors tone. The chosen sentence structure is impactful as well and contributes to the authors opinion on the subject. The structure of the last two sentences of the first paragraph exemplifies the authors style of sentence structure. They are mostly abbreviated and very straightforward. The structure is intentionally simple effectively making his point such as, can ever be blamed for a piece of work like Eric Richardson. The sentence structure uses strong verbs such as jettison and meltdown but mainly relies on colorful adverbs and a compare contrast approach. What I really liked I chose this entry because it provided a fairly comprehensive evaluation of the essay. I demonstrated a grasp of the material covered during the course and was able to apply it. Extensive comments were made on the thesis and supporting examples were identified. It was not a particularly entertaining discussion post but when reading it a second time I was surprised at the amount of information gained at that point in the course. When I reflected back on my expectations for this class, the post demonstrated that my expectations had been met.