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1he chart be|ow shows the d|fferent |eve|s of post-schoo| qua||f|cat|on |n Austra||a and the proport|on
of men and women who he|d them |n 1999.
Summar|zed the |nformat|on by se|ect|ng and report|ng the ma|n features, and make compar|sons
where re|evant.
Lducatlon ls one ol lmportant lactors whlch lmproves prospect ol soclety, above lllustrated bar chart,
provldes statlstlc al lnlormatlon over amount ol students ln Australla, who have been passed post
graduatlon level, the lnlormatlon has been provlded lor each gender and lor llve level ol post
graduatlon ln 1999.
ln lowest level ol post graduatlon, we can observe dlstlngulshable dlllerence between amount ol male
and lemale. Whlle educated lemale had thelr mlnlmum percentage ln thls level ol educatlon, men had
reached to thelr zenlth by keeplng about 80. ln 8achelor ol sclence thls dlllerence has been decreased,
ln the way that both sex genders keeplng around 30 ol educatlon opportunlty, men who have been
educated ln thls level ls are [ust sllghtly less than women. lor post graduated and master's degrees, men
had more partlclpatlon ln educatlon programs comparlng to women although dlllerence ls not at the
level ol skllled vocatlonal but stlll lt's conslderable.
1o sum up, ln 1999 ln skllled tralnlng course and hlgher level ol educatlon men had more role than
women, whlle thls statlstlcs were vlce versa lor mlddle educatlon levels such as under graduatlon and
bachelor degrees. lt seems thls ls drlven lrom sexual soclal dlscrlmlnatlon ln soclal role and probably by
dwlndllng thls klnd ol dlscrlmlnatlon we wlll observe less dlllerence between amount ol male and
lemale educated ln each level.
Lstlmated band score : 2 out ol 3
Comment [PARANDCO1]: Ad[ectlve needed
Comment [PARANDCO2]: Ad[ectlve needed
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Agreed or d|sagreed
Creat|ve art|sts shou|d a|ways be g|ven the freedom to express the|r own |dea (|n words, p|cture mus|c
or f||m) |n wh|chever way they w|sh, there shou|d be no government restr|ct|on on what they do.
1o what extent do you agree or d|sagree w|th th|s op|n|on?
Slnce creatlon ol human soclety, the amount ol control on artlstlc actlvlty was an lmportant lssue and lt
has undergone to conslderable changes tlll now. lt seems thls matter ls a multl aspect lssue, as a result,
pros and cons have ralsed dlllerent vlewpolnts about that and socletles always are ln the horn ol
dllemma ln lront ol thls lssue, although most ol them belleve on governmental control and restrlctlon,
there are also strong polnts ln lavor ol lmmunlty ol artlsts agalnst government's lnterlerence.
Whlle llrst group ls relerrlng to lnlluence ol artlst's actlvlty and thelr modern and new ldea on stablllty
and securlty ol soclety, one ol the maln contrary polnts ln lavor ol artlst's lreedom ls ellect ol polltlcal
restrlctlon on kllllng creatlveness( creatlvlty ls more common) ol soclety. 1hls group belleves that
creatlve artlsts wlll help soclety boost lts culture.
Another perspectlve related to lreedom ol artlsts ls relerrlng to human rlght declaratlon. Accordlng to
thls manllest, everybody ls lree to present hls ldea. And through our attentlon to thls lact, whlch artlsts
do the same (declare thelr ldea) by the ald ol thelr works.
Cne ol the other vlews whlch ls supportlng ellmlnatlon ol censorshlp, ls relerrlng to the lact that any
ldea has once been a new ldea. ll slnce dawn we had restrlcted all the new ldeas as a result there would
have been no developed soclety ln modern world so we shouldn't prevent new ldeas ll we llnd lt
unacceptable to ourselves.
1aklng all the polnts ln account, l belleve on ln lndependence ol artlsts. At least puttlng llmltatlon on
thelr actlvlty by government not only should not be as easy ol some developlng socletles, such as lran
but also lt ls somehow ls [ust strlvlng agalnst stream because at least a part ol aesthetlc s socletles wlll
llnd thelr way to present hls works and they wlll not be completely stopped completely wlth censorshlp.
Lstlmated bandscore : 4.3 out ol 6
1otal bandscore : 6.3 out ol 9
Comment [PARANDCO3]: 1oo long cllche !
every examlner can easlly understand that these
phrases has been already memorlzed by you, try to
make lt more natural!!!
Comment [PARANDCO4]: Comma needed
Comment [PARANDCO5]: