Maleka

The story of a deserted woman

The story of one Bangladeshi woman

Maleka is about 25 years old and her husband disappeared several years ago. With her, she has her two
daughters, but the son that she had was taken by the husband's parents for rearing. This is normal practice
in Bangladesh for a male child to be taken from his mother and raised by uncles or grandparents, after a
divorce, desertion or widowhood.
Maleka lives in a small straw built house at the side of a river. Next door lives her widowed sister and next
door to her sister, lives her widowed mother. None of them have much in the way of clothes and all three
are registered as destitute with the local union office. They get hand outs of wheat or rice and sometimes
old clothes that have been donated by the government or other donors.
One of Maleka's daughters goes to the free government primary school, when her mother can get enough
money to pay the fees demanded by the teachers. Her daughter will not be going to the secondary school,
as there will not be enough money to buy the books and uniforms that are required for this higher
education.
Maleka was married at the age of 14 in a distant village about 120 Kilometres from where she now lives,
She was thrown out of her husband's house after he had deserted her and she had found it very hard to
stay in the area, as the shame of being abandoned created many problems for her to be able to look after
her family. Her sister had been married to a man not far from where she is living now and when she had
visited her sister several years ago, she decided to stay.
For women like Maleka, there are no support services, they are basically outcasts from a society that is
male dominated and seems to take pleasure from abusing women within or without of married life. There is
a system to give some support to destitute people through the local union office. Destitute men and women
can get a little grain for a month, but only when they have been living in the area for more than one year.
Maleka's ration is 15 Kilograms per month and maybe once a year, in the winter, one piece of second hand
clothing each.
Where Maleka lives, the winters can be very harsh, with temperatures dropping to 4 or 5 degrees Celsius at
night. Her straw house does little to keep out the cold during the winter and during the rainy season her
house is constantly wet inside. After heavy rains, the river she lives on the bank off, usually over flows and
her house can be flooded with two feet of water. She has no choice but to live there, as she would be
thrown off from any other piece of land that she tried to build a house on. There are four houses here, her
mother, her sister and one other couple. The other couple come from about 300 Kilometres away and it is
suspected that the man may be avoiding the law.
This area is an area where many women work in the fields during planting and harvesting time; in other
areas this is not possible due to the strict religious culture. Maleka is strong and can work harder than most
men and she can be seen carrying bricks, mixing cement, digging fields with a spade, cutting and carrying
rice or wheat or other crops, planting paddy in the flooded fields or weeding. She will do anything that will
mean that she can get some money to feed and clothe her two daughters. The normal government rate for
men working is the equivalent of 3½ kilograms of rice a day. This amount is rarely paid and for women it is
never paid. If men can get 35 Taka a day, women may get 20 to 25 Taka per day for doing the same work.
Very often, especially during the very dry winters, there is no work for anyone to do. The rice is usually
harvested during November and December and after that, wheat is sown and no labour is required until it is
harvested during April or May. Maleka and many other women find it very difficult during this time and
sometimes Maleka will move to another area for a few weeks to get some labouring work. Maleka is known
as a ‘naughty’ woman. Although on the surface she has gained some respect for being a good worker and
for looking after her children, when times become desperate she is known to have to prostitute her body to
get some money, in order to be able to put food on her children's plates. She is not beautiful and does not
get much money from her prostitution, but when times are very hard, she will be forced to accept whatever
she can in order that she and her children can survive.
Maleka owns three saris; her children have a few tatty frocks and pants and with her eldest daughter
approaching puberty and possible marriage it is a great problem to keep her modestly dressed. Like most
poor people, Maleka keeps a goat. Goats in Bangladesh are the poor people’s cash reserve, to be used in
emergencies or in times of great need. Usually Maleka has to sell her goat during February or March when
there is no work and no money. During the planting or harvesting times, Maleka will buy another small goat
for the next crisis period. There are often a few hens around to provide eggs for the children to eat, but
other than that, Maleka has to rely on the normal market for her needs. Her daughters spend a lot of time in
the fields picking herbs to use as curry or gathering small pieces of wood or old straw to cook with. Her
house is covered with dried palm leaves and straw and these have to be collected, dried and worked into
the existing covering to try and keep the house waterproof.
Maleka's eldest daughter is more than 11 years old and approaching puberty. Maleka protects her
daughter’s morals very severely, not wishing anyone to take advantage of their poor status and use her
daughter for immoral acts. Young girls are often sought by older men and the girls from destitute families
are prime targets for pimps and brothel keepers. Maleka fears greatly that her eldest daughter could be
snatched from her and she becomes very angry with her daughter if she is seen too much with boys. Her
daughter does not understand why her mother becomes angry with her as she is not yet aware of the
implications of being female. Sending her to school is a way that can help her daughter get a better
marriage, although in some areas, the men still like uneducated girls for their sons to marry. Her daughter
is not pretty, poor and she has dark coloured skin and this will hamper her chances of finding a suitable boy
to marry. Maleka has no resources to be able to give a dowry when her daughter marries and this will
probably mean that she will be forced to marry a boy who may have little prospects in life. Not to be married
is a greater problem in this culture, than to marry anyone who will have them.
Maleka is 25 years old she thinks and she has little or no chance of remarrying and must face the rest of
her life on her own or settling to live with her sister, when her two daughters are married and living away.
Had she been younger, with no children and less destitute she might have had a chance at becoming a
second (or third) wife to a small landowner or local business man. But her reputation and many other things
would not allow her this opportunity. Maleka is quite open to admit that she doubts that she will get
remarried and anyway she is content to live and provide for her two daughters at the present time.
She has not seen her son for the last 4 years, nor is she allowed to and this is saddening for her as family
attachments are very strong in the rural communities. It is quite normal that if a marriage ends in divorce,
desertion or widowhood, a male child is taken by the husband's family and reared as their own. The
husband ‘owns’ his children and no woman has any rights in the matter. In all families, the men and boys
are fed first and even a very young boy can be found ordering his sisters and mother around. They may be
sitting next to a jug of water, but a female will be called to pour the water into a glass and hand it to them.
She may never see her son again, unless one day she decides to seek him out to see how he has
progressed. She does not even have the right to talk to him.

This true story was written in September 1997 as part of a series of short biographies that depicted the lives of
women and girls in northern Bangladesh. Only the names have been changed; the rest is as it existed in 1997.
The author spent several years in this area working on a project funded by the British Government.

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