Confessions of a Hostie

by Danielle Hugh

Nothing tugs at an international flight attendants heartstrings more than being away from loved ones at Christmas. Of the twenty Christmases that have come and gone during my flying career I would guesstimate I have been away for all but three or four. I try not to complain because it is the nature of my job. Even so, it still causes pain. On the positive side, Ive had white Christmases, Christmas on the beach in onolulu, Christmas on safari in !frica, Christmases on every continent e"cept !ntarctica. #here have been some fantastic memories, but as positive as I usually am, without a doubt, the worst Christmas was no Christmas at all. It does happen in the airline industry$ ta%ing off in one city on &ecember '( th and, because of time )one changes and crossing the International &ate *ine, we land in another city on &ecember '+ th. It is li%e using invisible in% and not %nowing youve run out.

Id only been flying for about five years, so I had little choice in my rosters and days off. ,eing away for Christmas was a given, but I hadnt counted on actually being in the air and having no Christmas at all. It was something I had never really thought about, until the moment I loo%ed at my roster. I remember uttering a few e"pletives$ and after a few minutes of anger regaining some semblance of control, accepting my fate. It is what it is. -y family made adjustments in the past, so this year we had a small gathering just for my benefit a few days before I left for the trip. .ou need a supportive family in this job. I am luc%y li%e that. /till, it is not 0

the same as being with all those you love on the day. !t least I was able to e"change gifts and visit those who were important to me even though it was not Christmas day. !t the time I had just started dating another flight attendant, 1ic%. 2hen I say 3just started dating, we4d actually been seeing each other for over si" months at that stage, but when you are an international hostie time literally flies. -y best friend, elen, is a teacher. /he was fulltime in those days. /he too had just starting dating a man, who ended up being her future husband. I thin% at that period theyd been going out for about two months. 5lying internationally, we are away over half the time and even when we are home, the usable time is minimal at best, than%s to fatigue and jetlag. #his becomes a major issue when a flight attendant dates an 3earthling. If two flight attendants are dating each other$ then those figures are doubled. 1ic% and I were luc%y to catch up once every ten days or so 6 and even then, you could bet that one or both of us was in jetlagged la7la land. /i" months dating another flight attendant means seeing each other less than most new couples see each other in a month. !fter only two months of dating, elen had already met her boyfriends family$ and he hers. #o be honest, I was not even sure where 1ic%s family lived. elen was invited to her new boyfriends family for Christmas lunch and he was invited to her familys Christmas dinner. 1ic% and I e"changed presents four days before Christmas and said 3/ee you in the New .ear. It is the nature of the job. !s I am pac%ing my suitcase I try to thin% of positives of spending Christmas in the air. -aybe it will be fun8 -aybe the crew will be fantastic8 -aybe we can have a belated celebration when we get to the hotel8

2ith optimism and one of those red and white /anta hats you buy at the discount stores, I put on my uniform and headed to wor%. '

3 o o everyone, 3-erry Christmas, 3/eason greetings, I said to everyone I came in contact with, including my crew. I wish I could say my effervescent attitude was reciprocated, but it wasnt. ! few of the crew were loo%ing glum before we even stepped into our briefing room. 1egardless, I stayed upbeat. I remember our briefing room had a single Christmas tree on the table$ it was the si)e of a coffee cup 6 and not /tarbuc%s venti 9the biggest one:, but more li%e a cup for a short blac%. -aybe a thimble would be a better comparison. I was not going to let this poor start to the trip ruin my festive spirit. Even when I found out the flight was full, full, full, I %ept my smile. I must say I was curious to find out the type of people who fly the day before Christmas to arrive at the destination the day after Christmas. If ever I thought a flight would have spare seats it would be this flight. Oh how wrong could I be8 2hen the passengers boarded they loo%ed li%e any other passengers on any other day. Im not sure what I was e"pecting, but it was just another day; an eclectic mi" of young and old, well7dressed and the not7 so7well7dressed, and the happy as well as the sad. /o far everything loo%ed normal. On most flights, if passengers are going to cause a problem it is usually reali)ed by the crew early in the flight$ most typically we can pic% the trouble7ma%ers during the boarding process. On that days flight, two young men wal%ed onboard and my 3warning 2ill 1obinson, warning< alarm bells began ringing. #hese guys werent much younger than I was at the time, but their body language and attitude was as%ew. I just %new these boys would be trouble. !s they passed me in the cabin, on their way to their seats 9unfortunately in my wor%ing )one:, they said some sort of inappropriate se"ist remar%. *uc%ily I did not hear the full first comment. 2hat I did hear was an alcoholic drin%s order. 2hen I e"plained that we wont be serving drin%s until we are in the air, they said 32ell then, bring us a drin% straight after ta%e7off. #here was no 3than% you, no 3please, just demands. I was too busy during the boarding process to argue. #rue to their earlier form, as soon as we too%7off the call7bell was pressed. 32e want=>

#hese boys were rude and obno"ious. I call them 3boys because although they were probably twenty7two or twenty three, they behaved li%e juveniles. 2ithin five minutes of the seatbelt sign being turned off they had upset every crew member wor%ing down the bac% of the plane. I saw the boy in the aisle7seat throw his seat bac%, in the recline position, with such force that it not only frightened a little old lady seated behind, it sent everything on her tray table flying. /eeing the distraught lady, I raced over to see if she was o%. I needed to pass the boys, but made no eye7contact, hoping they would not as% for another drin%. #hey had just been given one anyway. -y hope was misguided as they began yelling for more drin%s while I was still three strides away. I ac%nowledged them by putting my hand up as I wal%ed past to address the little old lady seated behind. Even when I went on one %nee and began tal%ing to her at eye7level, these boys continued to interrupt 6 and interrupt. ,etween interruptions I found out the little old lady was startled, but fine. I decided to spend a few minutes chatting with her to see if there was anything I could bring her. @nli%e those seated in front of her, she was polite and wanted nothing. I felt so sorry for her being seated in an unruly area. ad we had a seat free anywhere on the aircraft I would have moved her. I did tell her that I would chec% on her from time7to7 time throughout the flight. /he was an elderly lady 7 Im guessing in her eighties 7 and she was travelling on her own. I wondered why she was travelling the day before Christmas when she would miss Christmas day. /urely she had children or grandchildren8 I did go bac% and chat with her, and as the boys in front of her were behaving so badly, I invited the lady to come and spend some time in the galley after the meal service and she was grateful. I wor%ed on a cart with a guy by the name of Carlo. It was the first time I had wor%ed with him, although we have wor%ed since. e is friendly enough, but very pedantic. &uring the boarding process he was onto every safety issue in the cabin, pouncing li%e a tiger. e would point out to those carrying luggage which loo%ed e"cessively heavy, that it indeed loo%ed too heavy. 2e dont carry scales in the cabin, so how do we prove that something looks too heavy8 2e cant. !t best, if something is said it will upset the passenger. (

2e all %now that some bags weigh too much, but if the chec%7in staff dont pic% that up, and they have scales, then how are we to %now8 @nless the passenger cannot lift it themselves into the overhead compartments and has to as% a flight attendant, then we cannot %now for sure if the bag is too heavy or not. #he behavior of the two boys dominated Carlos conversations in the early stages of the flight. #hey were not drun% when they came onboard and they had only had three drin%s each$ yet they were behaving more oddly as the flight progressed. !t the end of the meal service we collected the rubbish and the boys handed Carlo their rubbish. e noticed an empty pac%et of prescription pills. On the pac%et it clearly stated; 3&o not, under any circumstances, mi" with alcohol. Carlo could not wait to get bac% to the galley, read the pac%ets instructions, and then react with theatrical dramatics. ad it been me who discovered the empty pac%et, I would have contacted the onboard manager or captain and let them guide the crew on how to deal with the situation. Carlo had other ideas. 2ith power oo)ing through every vein, he charged up to the boys and began reading them the riot act. I stood a row or two behind him just in case something were to happen. !t that stage it didnt, but the boys admitted to ta%ing some of the pills each. 2e later found out they too% the full two wee%s prescription for one person in one hit between them 6 and washed the pills down with alcohol. 2hat the hell were they thin%ing8 Carlo actually as%ed them 3why8 and they just pulled faces li%e they didnt care. #his only made Carlo angrier. !t that point I could see the boys, particularly the one in the aisle seat, becoming delirious. #heir eyes were beginning to roll around. Carlos loud authoritarian words were going in one ear and out the other. 2hile Carlo was screaming something about 3no more alcohol for either of you, I decided to go bac% to the galley in the hope Carlo would follow me. e didnt. 5ifteen years ago I was not as wise about human behavior as I am now, but even then I could tell that Carlos ranting was not the way to go. e spent so much time tal%ing to these boys. It was li%e trying to nail jelly to a tree. e should have been liaising with those onboard who could actually help. I am not a doctor, but even I could see that these boys were about to do something stupid. Aust what that would be was the Buestion. C

!s Carlo was first on the scene and had decided to ta%e matters into his own hands, I too% a bac% seat. e justified every word he had said. I doubt whether the boys understood any of it. -y only suggestion to Carlo was for him to ta%e the empty pac%et to the onboard manager and e"plain the situation. ,y this stage I doubted Carlos ability to ma%e decisions in the best interest of all onboard, but at least he listened to my advice and went to tal% to the boss. In the meantime I went to chec% on the boys and to get the poor little old lady out of there, at least for the short term. #he boys were in ga7ga land, but they were Buieter than they were. I introduced myself by name to the lady and she responded in turn. -y name is /arah. O% /arah, would you li%e to come with me for a while8 /he cannot leave her seat Buic% enough. 2e go to the galley.

/arah was the most delightful lady to tal% with, but we only had general chit chat before Carlo returned to the galley. ad it been me, I would have tal%ed in private, away from /arah, but Carlo was oblivious to someone being in the galley$ blurted out the full conversation with the boss. e did not say what the manager said, just Carlos own recommendation on how to handle the two boys. e was only partially through telling /arah and me the situation when a toilet call7bell indication light came on in the galley. #his we needed to investigate urgently as it could have been someone in trouble. On almost every occasion, the 3help button in the toilet is pressed by mista%e, but you never %now. 2e are trained to respond Buic%ly. !s Carlo and I wal%ed toward the toilet in Buestion, at the bac% of the aircraft, we noticed that both the boys were not in their seats. &eep down we %new the call bell alert and the boys would be connected. #he toilet door was not loc%ed, yet the door was jammed. Obviously a body 9or two bodies: was bloc%ing the door. #here was bashing and crashing from inside. Carlo %noc%ed on the door and yelled 32hats going on in there8 I %new it was not a se"ual thing. #he boys were straight. #he only reason two large boys would try and sBuee)e into a small toilet is they were delirious and unaware of what they were doing. Even so, Carlo eventually dragged them from the toilet and started pointing his finger at them. /tanding in front of the toilet, +

he scolded them li%e he was a parent and they were his %indergarten7age children. #hese boys were in a world of confusion, yet Carlo made a speech li%e the closing arguments a barrister would ma%e after a wee%long murder trial. Dassengers began to cue for the toilets, but Carlo was oblivious to all around. !fter a few minutes standing behind him and cringing, I as%ed for him and the boys to move aside slightly so the waiting passengers could use the toilets. I had not seen inside the toilet, so I told the passengers I would chec% it first. One or both had urinated in there$ not in the bowl, but up the walls, in the sin%, and all over the floor. 2ith my blood boiling, I interrupt Carlos military7style tirade, to grab the attention of both the boys. I instruct them to come closer to the toilet. I held the door open. E2ould you both have a loo% at what you have done8>, I said. ,efore I could add anymore words, they incoherently state that it wasnt them. I bloc%ed off the toilet 9we have a way of loc%ing it from the outside:. I went to get rubber gloves and cleaning eBuipment. /arah saw me wal% into the galley. I may have muttered something under my breath 6 I cant be sure. I grabbed the cleaning gear and reluctantly went bac%. 2hen I returned, Carlo was still reprimanding the boys. I pushed past them and entered the toilet to clean it. #he urine was everywhere, but somehow they managed to not urinate on themselves$ not that I was aware of anyway. In such a confined space I entertained thoughts of writing to 31ipleys ,elieve It Or Not8 I dont need to e"plain how disgusted I was with the situation.

/arah had stayed in the galley for the entire time it too% me to clean the toilet, although I was sure she was already aware of the situation. ,y the time I had cleaned the toilet and sterili)ed every wall and panel, the boys had gone bac% to their seats. I returned to the galley, giving them a loo% of death as I passed their seat. I stepped bac% into the galley. 3.ou poor dear said a sympathetic /arah. aving flown for just five years at that stage, cleaning toilets was unpleasant but bearable. 3Its o% I replied. 3It is part of the job. F

/arah and I chatted for only a few minutes when Carlo raced into the galley to tell me that one of the boys, the one seated in aisle, was ma%ing his way bac% to the toilet, albeit sha%ily. #his time he was on his own as we loo%ed down the aisle to see him virtually fall into the same toilet. 2e monitored the toilet and at least ten minutes went by with him still in there. 2e were just about to call the manager when the boy opened the door, bounced off both sides of the frame 7 at least twice 7 and then staggered down the aisle to ta%e his seat. Dassengers were waiting to use the toilet. !s I wal%ed toward the toilet to chec% it, one of the passengers had already entered 6 but only momentarily. e immediately turned around and closed the door. is face was ashen. e saw me approach and was about to tell me the state of the toilet. 5rom the e"pression on my face and by the pace I was wal%ing, he already %new he did not need to say a word. 2ords cannot describe what I saw inside that toilet. I bloc%ed it off and told Carlo to do whatever he needed as retribution. Carlo lic%ed his lips and charged up to the offending boy. I am not sure what was said and, to be honest, I didnt really care. 2hat I did %now was that both Carlo and I did mountains of paperwor% and both the boys details were forwarded to the authorities at the airport before our arrival. 2hat happened to them I dont %now. I could only guess that the authorities would have seen what state the boys were in and sent them on the first plane bac% home 6 and at their e"pense. #he captain was also informed and unbe%nown to Carlo and I, we had crossed the international dateline and it was now &ecember '+th. #he captain %new the situation and what we dealt with, but had a good sense of humor. 3I guess it is not the appropriate time to say -erry Christmas8 he as%ed with the hint of a chuc%le. Christmas8 2e missed Christmas 7 I thin% it was lost in the clouds.

I went bac% to the galley. /arah was still there$ waiting patiently. 3&o you li%e tea or coffee8 I as%ed, not giving her the option of saying no. I made us both tea. I did not tell her what had just happened. I thin% she %new or had some reali)ation. I instead as%ed /arah about her trip. I am so pleased I did. G

Over the course of two cups of tea, /arah told me she was travelling on her own. I as%ed about children or grandchildren. I did not mean to pry, but she openly told me that she and her husband were unable to have children. /he then went on to tell me that her husband passed away four years earlier. Aust then Carlo wal%ed into the galley to inform me that the boy sitting in the aisle seat had soiled himself. 32hat are we going to do8 I as%ed. 3Nothing. Not a goddamn thing replied Carlo, not amused. It was the first sensible thing he had said all flight.

I told /arah she could have one of our crew7rest seats for landing or whenever she felt li%e sitting down. /he was grateful, but happy to stay in the galley for a while longer. 2hen Carlo left, we continued to chat. #he last thing we tal%ed about was the passing of her husband four years earlier. In the ne"t few sentences it became all so clear why /arah was on the flight. er husband had passed away Christmas day. /he had no family. !fter his passing she had decided to go away each year rather than spend Christmas on her own. er husband had loved to travel, yet travelled little due to health issues. /arah had decided to travel while she could. 2ho could blame her8 /arah told her story with passion, yet she was not loo%ing for pity. I felt so sorry for her. I was ready to burst into tears, but she was the one who turned the situation around. /he was the one who comforted me. 2hat an incredible woman.

/arah was not staying in the same city as the crew. /he was catching another flight after ours. ad she been staying near I would have offered her to join our crew for some belated Christmas cheer. ,efore she left our flight I gave her a bottle of 5rench champagne. 3Dlease promise me you will have a drin% for not only yourself, but your husband as well I said. /he smiled and agreed.

I had almost forgotten about that flight, but about a month later I received an envelope from my airline. I was told it was a complimentary letter from a passenger with a than% you card. 2hen I opened it, I saw the card was not a than% you card$ it was a Christmas card. I still have that card. I will share what was written inside; 3&ear &anielle, than% you so much for the most memorable and enjoyable flight I have ever had 6 even though we missed Christmas. .ou were the difference. I now reali)e Christmas is not necessarily about where you are, but who you are. /o wherever you are 7 -E11. C 1I/#-!/.

2hat should have been the worst Christmas of all time turned out to be a good Christmas after all. 2herever you may be and whoever you are with 6 -E11. C 1I/#-!/<

1ead &anielle4s bestselling boo%, CON5E//ION/ O5 ! O/#IE, and the seBuel, -O1E CON5E//ION/ O5 ! O/#IE; # E /ECON& /EC#O1, to find out more about her ama)ing e"periences as an international fight attendant. www.confessionsofahostie.com www.faceboo%.comIconfessionsofahostie

0J