WINTER

SOLSTICE

POEMS
larry goodell

Photograph by Lenore Goodell

Larry Goodell
2013
a duende seasonal
po box 571 placitas, new mexico
larrygood@comcast.net

WINTER
SOLSTICE

POEMS

Winter Solstice Poems

Shadow Fool. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Star. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
Say. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Dory.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
True. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Joy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Air. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Pines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Flowers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Orchestra.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Ghosts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Feast. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Night. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Res. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Farolito. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Be. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Where. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Night. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Outside-Inside. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
True. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Dawn. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
08 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
First Breath.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Prelude. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

Shadow Fool
Sun-struck against the wall my shadow is dancing
one two a violet blue a measure of this and
sun-struck a shadow fool I'm not even moving
sun-struck against the wall the dance is my shadow
one two a violet blue against gold dancing
sun-struck the wind soft leaves, man scattering
one two a violet blue & against the gold wall shadow
depth-lit a shadow fool I'm not even moving
sun-struck against the wall my shadow is dancing.

/10Dec91#2

A Star's Star
Oh star of everything broken into what you are
little pieces of each other intermingling sea of non-sea
mingling with the sea that is, the light that was, the light
that guided good God guides by and light-light-lights
light lights into every reflection refractions reflected as
clouds move bits of blue by and poets, marbles,
clay pots, computer monitors, pinking shears,
coupons of dog food, Victoria safety matches, bare apricot limbs,
Bourbon red turkey feathers, the Emperor tarot card, the bulging
glass of my maternal grandparents framed, the rainbow
thread in the window, the Einstein cloth frisbee, the white bookshelf
the 75 watt bulb in my desk lamp, everything gives back
the light that originally bounced and flowed
and bounced back to the original light, the light of hope
hopped, indistinguishable, pretend there's a sky up there,
abstracts like hope & goodness knows no goodness till
the original block buster of all time timed all & time fell
with the light and warmth came to pull winter out of
the rock cavern death of its past, and we could love
from abstract to touch, touch bits of fragmented light
opening eyes, lips seen before touching lips to lips to
ears & chin neck, mouth hand the heat that
keeps on giving through Hussein, Gorbachev, Prince,
Jesse Helms, the dirty rapist every five minutes
the radioactive waste maker and laser weapon inventor
light breaks up off everyone's shoes as feet
stamp down the crust of earth and humans being merely human
forget plants scream when they die or say a vibe
just as precious to the hearing as any slaughtered pig
as light becomes the star it was, the stars shine equally on
every one small or tall, so called good or ghastly bad
what to make of it when it's already made, we're every bit
as much a part of anything ending as we are
a part of anything beginning. A star's star. There are
so many stars.

/14Dec90

Say
(improvising a poem on a given line)
Well, well, well, three corners of soup & flowers.
What kind of flowers & did the soup taste good?
An emerging hyacinth in the window, "forced," not one of my
wife's favorites, and hot & sour soup, her favorite:
I don't like defining what the mind says.
What pops into your skull is private property.
So it's the end of 1992 what's the fuss.
You have the sun & the stars, the earth, the moon,
what more do you want? a prominent native said.
But the human species has turned into the dinosaurs of our time.
Will 1993 be the end of the new dinosaurs?
Half will kill each other & the other half be trampled to death
trying to get away.
Marianne Moore wore a three-cornered hat.
I wonder if she liked hot & sour soup.
I'll bet you she liked hyacinths. Nobody's perfect.

/30Dec92

Hunky Dory
Everything is Hunky Dory, Dory,
but how many Warlords have you brot to the negotiating table?
It's difficult when people don't like to talk anymore but like to talk at,
Don't want to listen anymore and certainly don't want to pretend
to any skills at logic.
Everything is Chi-Chi, She'll Be . . . but it's been a long time
since we've seen you comin round the mountain.
In fact, they tore down the mountain & sold the dirt & now
they're figuring out what to put there
a gas station?
How romantic "She'll be comin round to gas up when she comes," how
American.

(sing)

Everything is A-Okay, Kay, except for all the religious folks of the world
at each other's throats
and little bigot groups who don't care a fig for their neighbors and want everyone
to be just like they are,
Everything is Peaches & Cream, Eileen, except for the better half
that's trying to rob from the lesser half so they can have more of the world pie
as they leave a bunch of homeless & schizoids & old folks to roam the streets
until they die.
Everything is fine, Clementine, but it's been a long time since you've been gone
& Nature ain't farin so well either, are you lost & gone forever?
Hunky Dory Dory, Chi-Chi She'll Be, A-Okay Kay, Peaches & Cream Eileen,
everything is fine. Remember Clementine?
/27Dec92

Permission to be True
Are there honesty wagons in the heart of life,
little children pulling them into adulthood?
What a delight, the true spirit, unhampered.
Is there any left in me, if there ever was, where is it?
It takes exercise of the body, a simplification of the soul
to be a part of that child again, in me,
that can form me every day into the privilege
of wide open skies, a dream of knowing
I can be open too, if I let it flow.
Oh flow little spirit, the plaything of the heart
is the seed of truth, as I was a young gardener
carrying shit in that wagon for some use.
It is now, through work only, the perfect flower
that breathes through me, every day, if I let it be.
/31Dec2002 or first day of New Year

Open to Joy
If there is no God there must be a pause that includes all.
In that pause is peace as clashing occurs elsewhere.
But since everything affects everything else, all is knowing.
But in that still point, that center, there is no evidence of God.
God is a word that stands for the emptiness that is peace.
Peace, joy, focus. To admit God is to quibble, rather experience
the experience-less. Experience-less-ness. Rather be experienced.
A newborn in the instant. God is pretense. Precondition. Problem.
Predetermine. Prejudice. Pre-supposition. Predisposed.
Pre-fabrication. Pre-cognition. All unnecessary.
All a side track. All the building before the foundation.
The foundation of peace opens its doors. Come in please.
Without a thing on your mind. Without a song in your heart.
To lead into joy, no matter what. By excluding all, everything is included.
Everything is complicated it is so simple.
As people get a headache its so complicated, take a couple aspirin.
Completely dissolve complexity. Be free.
Simply simplify. Let simplicity out.
Let simply be free. Let it simply be free.
/Winter Solstice 2004

In the Air
Music from dead people enlivens the air waves,
the Doors, at the end of the hallway, coming true,
as the oil wars boil over,
and people barricade their SUV's,
fortify their houses, horde their food, protect their water,
turn into the assholes they've evolved to be,
while the leaders are so anal retentive their entire food system
has been reversed,
mouthe fear farts from morning to night as they play with
their porno stash hidden under their Bible.
The wealthy are well-protected, the poor awash in world turmoil.
Truth is at the bottom of the totem pole where the dance
of the bird & animal spirits has long gone from memory.
Do you hear what's coming? Do you hear what has been?
Do you hear anything?
There is a giant pause, a holding of the breath.
And suddenly a realization that we may not
be able to breathe anymore.
/19Nov07

In the Pines, In the Pines

Allow my energies to roll out to the tops of the trees
to mingle with the air that sways them
mountain ridged pines that reach up in grand height
where I can barely reach with my voice, my particle of presence
as everything is open mouthed & competing wanting to speak
rather than hear
and Id better speak when silent, in the mind, on the page
to the lips not moving, to this that says nothing.
That wind swaying columnar high trees takes over. . . .
The nature of the mind predominates, and that only mirrors what
Ive seen & remember.
And is greater by far than anything Ive walked near.

/Oct07

Heavy Flowers
Take the load off yr feet of heavy flowers in the sky
flowers rain-damp stick to the skin
until they dry out & pop back to life.
Right now Im rain wet in my mind
and Im up there high someplace.
Father forgive me for sticking to my guns
writing poems that they were and causing you grief
but what could you know about a stubborn vision.
Mother forgive me for being resentful when you were sick
the only hand you lifted was love
as I am up in the air, mist in my eyes
trying to come back to this reality of a dark rainbow in my mind.
All these flowers at the cemetery when they buried
my mother, snow falling on them.

Orchestra
Mother of Gods own truth, prayer the riches
field the honor of honesty ordering
the seeds of spring in the hope hope flourishes
in the midst of dark caverns, the light shut out
forever, forever a dawn awakening the hopeless,
the list of the dead screaming from the ground,
dead of winter under layers of snow, the cold
interrupting any vision, marbles hitting the chimes
as the music continues on and old age only
bathes the present with mothers milk from
the mothers that support all bands that sing,
unstrapped horning orchestras, music
swelling from the valleys the rivers flowing
the bacteria & life, the connection honestly showing.

10

Ghosts
Condition spent of the kind gravy of God
Nothing has been eaten for centuries
Death is too easy for history
Man conquered inside out himself
Suicide became the badge of war
Women only were left to dream bad dreams
and then a savior came, his name was Heckle
and then Jeckle and they resurrected Mickey
Donald, Goofy, then came Abbot & Costello
Rocky & Bullwinkle, Gracie & Allen
Red Skelton, Phyllis Dillar & the king of the New Empire
Spike Jones, in the future there will be
the history of hysteria, a guffaw at all the deadly serious
as all our ghosts gather to laugh about life.
/27Dec06

11

12

Feast
Listen to the thanks of a thousand reasons
you enter the season, the holiday free zone.
Now we can work up a feast & then play,
everything at once: is the Solstice the reason?
First there is Thanksgiving, giving what you think of,
grace around the table. Things could be worse, you jerk,
lighten up! Hanukkah is coming with all the candle lights,
and Christmas after the Suns shortest day, just enough giving,
and New Years to celebrate a happy beginning
to a long labored past: what more to suggest
but be free with your compliments, strive with the winners
and plan a new feast.
Rest is appropriate after you eat.
/27Nov08

Opposite: winter solstice light in our home

13

Guide
Heavens, mystery of all my fears
underneath my star cap
I tilt my head back and
gaze straight up into the star of zenith
my head visualizes, beyond grasp
beyond skull, beyond mind.
Unknown star at the top of the universe
the cold envelops and reassures to the bone
I must hurry into the fire and enormous burning log.
But that high star or was it planet was it
other planets burning sun, forever too distant
unknown worlds, gazes perhaps more knowledgeable
than mine, a sure thing that, guide me I say over and over
the top of the universe could be the bottom bottom
and get shining at top height knowing past autumn the winter
light.
/2002

14

The Brightness at Night

In this magic of wonderland Earth
If the floods dont kill me,
or the hurricane mess
or starving poverty of no jobs
or poison water or food or air
or an accident doesnt trip me up
Ill settle for the wonder of the evening night
under the falling belt stars of Orion
here in the village touched by them
and the whole constellation
of blessing transformations
Who blesses who?
You who give me these words, do.
Unknown known father
of the mother of us all
black night lit up by the shepherds flight
& ritual posada, the mother & father & child
find
Its not so good when you try to impress,
you impress less,
So just being under these stars
on the magic belt of eternity turning
more than suffices
more than surprises
the tarnished intellect.
Christmas Eve

15

In Medias Res
for Hepzibah Stein & Ezra Nebuchadnezzar
If I get up in the middle of the night, I have to club the stench
with my hypocrisy.
If I subdue the piddle of the pew, I float to drench the valves
with democracy
Had I the energy of the Tao Id form battalions of peaceful
nitwits
Id enter the dharma of the heavenly Earth
the endpoint of Katharines girth
the hippopotamus of childrens turf
If I plowed the sewing kit of a dangerous birth, Id hope
the carillons would ring till the Christians burst
and Easter stuffs its Christmas into dirt
and the pagan pussies unite to a dickless first
and the monkeys embrace to evolve a human thirst
for love and laughter wouldnt you know it, wouldnt you
throw it out of meditation, as everything
comes back in with a cement truck flattening
my brain out from man to woman
As I get up in the middle of the night and place the exercise mat
on the flagstones in the middle of the living room floor
and do a standing slowly turning around run
with my arms stretched out as I turn
running in place it is my own little helpful dance
for my bones and the blood running through my veins
which is the only reason Im sane enough
to be open to some change.
Axis. Thoms. Influenza.
A pin. A pat. A pew.
/2002

16

Farolito
Sun. Sunlight. Fire. Sunset.
Blow torch. Fire light. Progressive zig-zag black headdresses,
no faces, silhouetted by the fire. Bonfire. Dance toward.
Audience leaning back away. Cinders. Luminarias, the old kind
inter-stacked wood burning from the bottom up, lighting the progress
of the young girl, young man, baby, donkey, shepherds (dressed up as)
and people following thru the village. Warmth burning into the cold.
Night aflame in points. Like stars come to life.
Come nearer. Setting everything afire in my mind all shrinking
back to reality, steering through the night, the long night,
the longest night, the death night, the night bell, burning
cracked set, holding onto the handrail walking down down
into someone elses hell become mine, the voice on the crashed radio
saying You will make it through, hold on and the night gives over
to the points of fire to warm it through, the pine logs in the stove
romancing through your history, of all solstices past
passing through sleep to the future which is always now,
now in the sun.
/17Dec09

17

Down There Where I Dont Really Want To Be

To be down is under dreary

skies are mood
gray winter not so terribly cold
self pity pities itself but
cant do nothin gets off butt
finally but dont do nothin
time wastes by as sorrowfully
hope sucks
time washes away
this bad dope
this bad, bad stupid
dope
totally straight it feels like
a cake of caca,
do do piles of my own
making.
I slumber in
to awake, I hope
before I
muck around in
something worse.
/31Dec98

18

Prayer Where
Prayer is consciousness of gratitude
Which is at base of life
having exploded, decentralized & reformed
Reformed & reformed again.
Here I am, I cant explain it.
Just to talk about my finger is too much
let alone my heart or my brain.
Here we go again, here I go again
trying to understand the imponderable.
Please let it flow, it will anyway
the Way tells me, the Path of life I follow
or do I lead & everything else follows?
Yeah, right! The blessing of a deep breath. Everywhere.
/24Dec99#1

19

The Brightness at Night

Christmas Eve 1999
In this magic of wonderland Earth
If the floods dont kill me,
or the hurricane mess
or starving poverty of no jobs
or poison water or food or air
or an accident doesnt trip me up
Ill settle for the wonder of the evening night
under the falling belt stars of Orion
here in the village touched by them
and the whole constellation
of blessing transformations
Who blesses who?
You who give me these words, do.
Unknown known father
of the mother of us all
black night lit up by the shepherds flight
& ritual posada, the mother & father & child
find
Its not so good when you try to impress,
you impress less,
So just being under these stars
on the magic belt of eternity turning
more than suffices
more than surprises
the tarnished intellect.
/24Dec99#2

20

Outside-Inside
Evil is the exterior of God
the outside, shedding of the skin
the dead some reflection of light falls on
with human stirrings bringing it to life again.
And entering the interior, can grow in strength
till flung outward another time in space
by human effort of the good.
The persistence of energy for better
wins out in the full bodied joy of life
stepping beautiful naked forward
from the dead left behind.
Nature in all her glorious attributes
and the atmosphere of dawn kisses love into action.
Universal being as simple as her presence.
/25Dec2000

21

Permission to be True
Are there honesty wagons in the heart of life,
little children pulling them into adulthood?
What a delight, the true spirit, unhampered.
Is there any left in me, if there ever was, where is it?
It takes exercise of the body, a simplification of the soul
to be a part of that child again, in me,
that can form me every day into the privilege
of wide open skies, a dream of knowing
I can be open too, if I let it flow.
Oh flow little spirit, the plaything of the heart
is the seed of truth, as I was a young gardener
carrying shit in that wagon for some use.
It is now, through work only, the perfect flower
that breathes through me, every day, if I let it be.
/31Dec2002 or first day of New Year

22

Fight for Dawn

Power of light, enter the fight
for dawn
as those that would extinguish everything
under the guise of good, reach out to blacken
to darken, to waste, to kill
may the lightness glimmer through to wings
wings of joy or at least of honest light
heartedness in the unveiling of morning colors
and reflections of the energy of peace, peace be
with you,
& surround you & know you & pull you
may I never harm another human being & be gentle to animals
& husband to plants, daughter to the Earth, mother to myself
son to the son & sister to the moon, brother to whoever I know best
& love what I do.
/from Escape at Home, 2005

23

Hear Here
You are the best of my heart
I depend on every moment
and thats what keeps me sane.
You are the undefined focus
that makes all things possible
the register of love
the aftermath of hate
the renewing of the spirit
nobody can put a finger on
the plateau of peace
that becomes a mountain
a sanity of common sense
that rushes through the heart
and runs like a river
through virgin territory.
Beating you beat
and fill the soul
the depository of all things loving
and loving back
you are always listening
when Im most alone
the ears fixed on me
as if I really mattered
the gift of sound
in your voice that connects
with everything I have to say
in the complete being
of now
as I address myself
listening.
/13Dec07

24

Winter Solstice 08
The darkness descends and meets
the darkness below.
I see no light. Even the stars are obscure.
Is this the end? Only one thing can save
on this planet of the sun.
One thing only can save us, the dawn,
when dawn comes.
/17Dec08

25

First Breath
What can you say about anything beginning again?
If a turnover is present are you in it, as it turns over?
And you meet your right side up upside down
as the year seizes itself and disposes of itself
and starts all over again. Where am I.
I seem to be the same old self,
delving on the past, my only sense of time
where is a renewing, a change, a completion of anything
so that the only progress is something else
and you must proceed, theres no way out but growth
and change
or stepping aside and letting everything changing
pass you by
as it passes me by I feel old.
I didnt jump soon enough.
I didnt jump, and yet
Im being drawn by a thousand suction cups
forward or something like that
as I lie back here with nothing changed
and I havent budged and nothing forced me
and everything is just quickly becoming the past
again and I see no way out but the future which I cant see
but it begins again throwing itself constantly away
and bam! popping into the present again.
the more I am attentive and aware
no matter what or where I am
Im always beginning, beginning beginning
happy birthday, merry christmas, happy new year
welcome to taking your first breath.

/2012

26

Prelude
The sunlight of the spirit is
the sunlight of the sun
giving shelter to the spirit
all day long
as the spirit takes on
a light of its own
as if you could see it
it burns like the sun.
/Winter Solstice 2013

Note: last two poems read at candlelight

reading, Luminous Night, Winter Solstice,
Las Placitas Presbyterian Church
December 21, 2013

27

Larry Goodell
Placitas, New Mexico

2013
a duende seasonal
po box 571 placitas, new mexico
larrygood@comcast.net

WINTER
SOLSTICE

POEMS
larry goodell