Max Flax Beeblewax's Ponderings

Reveverend Brother

Max Flax Beeblewax,

Keeper of the Sacred Chao, Disciple of Saint Mojo, Stray Data Point, and can I bum a ride?
Aneristically known as Denis M Moskowitz I am the founder of the 5-College Discordian Society of Saint Rufus, and have had many ideas about this and that in the world of Eris. These are some of my ponderings:

The significance of the Seasons and the corresponding Apostles. Discordian Creationism and its many adherents. The Myth of the Nipples. St. Tib's Day: Julian or Gregorian?

B.E.T.E.O. P.O.D. H.E. A.H.D. R.A.D.D. Last modified Confusion 71, 3171 by MFB

Titles
Here are the explanations of some of the titles our members claim.

Disciple of Saint Mojo (DSM):

Disciples of Saint Mojo feel in tune with Blessed Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo. The vow of a Disciple of Saint Mojo is: never WALK across a live dance floor.

Keeper of the Sacred Chao (KSC):

From the Principia Discordia: The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names. It says little, does less, means nothing. * Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first.

Reverend(Rev.) or Universal Life Church(ULC):

(Actually, Minister of the ULC, but MULC doesn't look very good.) The motto of the Universal Life Church is "We believe in what is Right; and everyone has the right to choose what is Right for themselves." Therefore, they will ordain anyone, without question of faith. They are a state-registered religion. If you wish to be ordained by them, write to them at 601 Third Street, Modesto, CA 95351, or check out their web site. Last modified Bureaucracy 35, 3161 by MFB

5-College Discordians of Saint Rufus

These may not be all the members of the 5-C D. S. o' St. R., but in the absence of a formal list, these are the folks most likely to show up at a meeting.

Brother Pope Max Flax Beeblewax, KSC, DSM, ULC, SDP (dmm@muddcs.cs.hmc.edu) Pope Jobe, formerly POEE Chaplin Pope George Ringo, KSC, LDD, DSP (mmorse@osiris.ac.hmc.edu) Pope Bolo of the Beautiful Metaphor, , W.R.K.W.H.T.I. (bmcaleer@osiris.ac.hmc.edu) Padgett The Mellow Yeti, Dark Pope of Claremont (parango@pomona.claremont.edu) Pope Mirth the Cheshire Cat who Likes to Turn Things Over, KSC, LSD (sboone@osiris.ac.hmc.edu) Pope Serendipity of the Retro Aura, KSC, DSM, and Ruler of Antarctica (althomas@muddcs.cs.hmc.edu) Pope Zonk of the No Second Name (jherzog@osiris.ac.hmc.edu)

Last modified Sweetmorn, the 48th of Discord, 3161 Y.O.L.D by MFB

The 5-College Discordian Society of Saint Rufus

Hi there! The 5-C Disc. Soc. o' St. R. is a group of Claremont College students who either profess the Discordian religion, are interested in Discordianism, or happen to be nearby when we have meetings or ceremonies. We have meetings every Setting Orange at 7:00 (unless we're home for the summer or something) in Harvey Mudd College's South Dorm lounge, and ceremonies kind of whenever. For voice information please call Amy (Eristically Known As Serendipity) at campus extension 7-4908. After reading this you'll probably have one of three responses:

What are you talking about? Where's the FAQ? Yes, and? What else? Who are you people?

Last modified Prickle-Prickle, the 35th of Bureaucracy, 3161 Y.O.L.D. (September 11, 1995 C.E.) by Pope Max Flax Beeblewax

5-College Discordian Society of Saint Rufus Frequently Asked Questions

Which 5 Colleges?
The Claremont Colleges in Claremont, California, USA. Harvey Mudd College, Pitzer College, Scripps College, Claremont-McKenna College, and Pomona College all share one campus.

What's a Discordian? What's Discordianism?

Most Discordians believe that life is a game, that the rules are in our heads, and that those rules and Order in general should be taken less seriously. Discordianism as a religion started in 1958(ish) in California, when (legend has it) the two main founders of Discordianism, Malaclypse the Younger and Lord Omar Ravenhurst, had a vision in a bowling alley while discussing Chaos and Order. Discordians are currently especially well represented on the Internet, as are members of an offshoot sect called the Church of the Subgenius.

What's a Discordian Society?

Discordianism is a disorganized religion, so there is no big enity like the Vatican or the UUA that everyone follows. However, Discordians do like to get together and amplify each other's silliness, so they gather into Cabals, Temples, and Societies.

Who's Saint Rufus?

Some people claim that saints must be dead. Some claim they can be dead or fictional. Some claim there is no restriction. Saint Rufus is fictional. He is an ideal patron saint for our Society, since he is (or will be... time travel gets so confusing, even in movies) both involved with higher learning (as a teacher at B&T U) and a resident of a nearby city (San Dimas). You may wish to keep in mind that it is an old Discordian tradition to disagree with each other about saints.

What is a Setting Orange?

Setting Orange is a day of the week on the Discordian calendar, as are Sweetmorn, Boomtime, Pungenday, and Prickle-Prickle. Last modified Chaos 32, 3160 Y.O.L.D. (February 1, 1994 C.E.) by Pope Max Flax Beeblewax, KSC, WMD

The Five Seasons and their Apostles

The seasons (Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, the Aftermath) are easily understandable through the device of Starbuck's pebbles.

Chaos
Five pebbles, arranged in a pentagon. No connecting lines. This is the ancient universe, as earliest humans saw it. There is no suggestion of either the Aneristic Illusion (the idea that order is real) or the Eristic Illusion (the idea that disorder is real). Apostle Hung Mung came out of this mindset and planted the seeds of the Taoist religion, whose followers don't apply their force to the universe, but instead allow the universe to guide their force.

Discord
Five pebbles in a pentagon. Lines connect every other pebble, creating a star. This is the universe as humans begin to get the idea that there is something to be said about it. "Disorder!" they said, falling for the Eristic Illusion hook, line, and sinker. "It's all disorder!" Fortunately, disorder is something we can enjoy. Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo helped with this by being the first to turn drumming from a monotonous beat into a semichaotic jam.

Confusion
Five pebbles in a pentagon. Lines connect every pebble, creating a pentagon and a star.

This is the universe as humans begin to add some method to the madness. The Aneristic Illusion has appeared, and some people are not sure about which is true. Apostle Sri Syadasti had an answer to this in his name: All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. He also thought folks should allow psychedelic experiences to guide them through the change. Apostle Blessed Saint Gulik the Stoned, meanwhile, is a roach.

Bureaucracy
Five pebbles in a pentagon. Lines connect the pebbles around the edge, forming a pentagon. This is the universe as humans decide that it is orderly. The Aneristic Illusion is in full form, as scientists and politicians do their best to impose order on the world they see. Apostle Zarathud saw this, and became a hermit so he could watch the silliness from afar. He also found the Pentabarf, one of the largest impositions of Order on Discordians.

The Aftermath
Five pebbles, scattered. This is the universe once humans start playing with it. Illusions are what you make of them, and they're not hard to do. Apostle The Elder Malaclypse tried to get people to do this by carrying a sign saying "DUMB", as in what a dumb game you're playing right now, when you could be having so much more fun. The people of that time preferred not to see that message, though, and instead read "DOOM". Later, Mal-1 came to Lord Omar and Mal-2 in a vision, disguised as a chimpanzee, in the event that I call the Malaclypse, in order to plant the seed of

Discordianism, which will eventually lead the entire planet out of damnation into salvation. Note from MFB, 43Chs3162: I've since (since 57Cnf3160, anyway) moved from a future eschatological interpretation to a present echatological one. (If you don't know wht that means, ask a theology student.) Last modified by MFB on 43Chs3162

Discordian Creationism
Original Posting to Alt.Discordia:
I was pondering creationism and evolutionism today. It occurred to me that Discordian Creationism looks very similar, nay, identical to Darwinian Evolutionism. Eris thinks, Okay, I'm bored. Let's make something. Well, what to start with? How about an explosion? That'll be fun. (BOOM) Okay, now we've got all this stuff floating around, let's clump some of this stuff together, and oh look! this stuff spins well... hmm... well, how about a set of stuff.... (much later) okay, let's try something really interesting... life! That would be neat... (zot) okay, it's not as interesting as I thought... well, what if it worked like this? Ouch, that didn't work... Well, if it could do this.. hey, neat! Alright, let's try something else.. whee! Wow, there are so many Discordian Creationists out there... it's amazing...

Further reflection
Eventually, Eris came up with the idea of making living things that could play with life like she could. That's us. Last modified on Chaos 62, 3160 by Pope Max Flax Beeblewax

The Myth of The Nipples

A Tale Of Creation
Long ago, the Earth was barren of life. Eris and Aneris looked upon it and saw that it was boring. "Yawn," Eris yawned. "Aneris, My sister, the Earth is truly uninteresting. Let's liven it up somehow." Eris, the Goddess of Chaos, was always eager to disturb stable systems. "I like it this way, Eris." Aneris, the Goddess of non-Chaos, was much more conservative. "Boring things are more orderly." "Aww, pleeeeease?" Eris was not above whining. There was some arguing back and forth, and eventually They came to an agreement that They would bring forth life to alleviate the boredom. So Eris and Aneris descended upon the Earth. "Let there be life!" said Aneris, and there was life. Plant life. Ferns. Trees. Mushrooms. Lichen. Aneris looked about and said, "See! It's much more colorful now." Eris sighed. "You call this life? It's almost as boring as before! These things just grow and die and wave in the wind. Here, let Me try." And Eris lifted up the clay from the ground and formed it into the shape of an ant. She blew upon it and it scurried off to build a hill. "Animals? Sure, We can make some of those." And Eris and Aneris began to create animals. First They created the simpler animals, like the insects and worms and such. Then They went on to the reptiles and birds and such. Finally, They started on the mammals. By this time, They had a pretty good system going. Aneris would create the female animal, then Eris would come along and create the male. When Aneris made the first female mammals with fur and nipples, Eris saw a chance to have some fun. As She made the furry male mammals, She gave them their own, useless, nipples. Aneris looked over at Her sister every once in a while, but since

the fur hid the nipples She didn't see anything but Eris's wide smile. Aneris, naturally, got suspicious... She knew from experience that Eris could not be trusted when She was smiling. (Or at any other time, for that matter.) Shrugging, Aneris started creating the first woman. She made her after Her own image, with heavy hair on her head but not as much elsewhere. And She gave women nipples, which were quite visible from the lack of hair. Eris followed along, creating the first man. She gave him hair on his head, and not as much elsewhere. And She gave him the same useless nipples all the other male mammals had. Aneris looked over and saw what had happened. "Wha-at?!", Aneris screamed. "Have You been giving all the male mammals nipples all this time?" Eris just doubled over, laughing. "Damn it, Eris, whenever We make anything You always do something weird like this! Can't You take anything seriously?" Aneris sighed as Eris shook Her head no. "Well, I can at least cover this up a little," Aneris muttered, and She put hair around men's nipples. "There, now you can't see them so much." And Aneris rested, while Eris continued to roll on the floor. So to this day men have nipples, which are merely emphasized by the hair around them. Hail, She what done it all! Written a while ago. Finally tidied up and HTML-ized on Mojoday, 3162. All by Max Flax Beeblewax, though someone else actually inspired it by pointing out the hair. All Rights Reversed - (K) - Doowatchalike.

St. Tib's Day: Gregorian or Julian?

St. Tib's Day is the day inserted into the Discordian Calendar every 4 years between Chaos 59 and Chaos 60. Though the Principia says that the day occurs once every 4 years, it first says that the Discordian and Gregorian calendars are perpetually aligned. Thus, we can reason that we actually only insert St. Tib's Day into every 4th year that does not end in 66, unless that year's century is 3 more than a multiple of 4. For example, 3166 does contain a St. Tib's Day, but 3066 didn't and 3266 won't. Some may believe that the "once every 4 years" rule has precedence, which means the Discordian Calendar is actually aligned to the Julian calendar, but they are horribly mistaken. So say I, Pope Max Flax Beeblewax, speaking ex cathedra, on this the 71st day of Confusion in the 3171st Year of Our Lady.

Be excellent to each other.

Party on dudes. Hail Eris. All Hail Discordia!