Care Provider Attunement Checklist

Jane F. Gilgun, Ph.D., LICSW

This checklist is for parents and other caregivers who want to see if they are attuned to their
children. Studies have shown that attunement is a cornerstone for children’s healthy development as
well as a cornerstone in recovery from trauma.
Attunement leads to healthy child emotional development and emotional expressiveness. Emotional
expressiveness is the single most important factor in the lives of persons who have overcome
adversities and go on to lead productive, happy lives. Attuned parents raise children who not only are
emotionally expressive but who also are attuned to others and to themselves. This checklist is for
parents, but it can be adapted to fit educators and anyone else who comes in contact with children.
Directions: Circle the numbers that fit your situation using the checklist below.
0=never
1=occasionally
2=sometimes
3=often
4=always

Care Provider Attunement Checklist

(Jane F. Gilgun © 2009, 2010)

Directions: Circle the numbers that best describe your situation.

Never Occasionally Sometimes Often Always

1. I put aside my own worries and pay attention to
my children.
0 1 2 3 4

2. I help my children name their feelings.

0 1 2 3 4
3. I help my children to express a range of emotions.
0 1 2 3 4
4. I teach my children how to express emotions
appropriately.
0 1 2 3 4
5. I teach my children how to set limits on how
others express emotions to them.
0 1 2 3 4
6. I set aside time several times a week to spend with
my children in mutually enjoyable activities.

0 1 2 3 4
7. I enjoy hearing about my children’s daily activities.
0 1 2 3 4
8. I empathize with my children’s feelings.
0 1 2 3 4
9. I respect my children’s feelings; I listen and don’t
make fun of how my children feel.

0 1 2 3 4
10. I encourage my children to talk to me when sad,
afraid, angry, as well as happy and feel good.

0 1 2 3 4
11. My responses to children’s expression of
emotions are balanced; I do not dismiss or over-react
to children’s expression of emotions.

0 1 2 3 4
12. I recognize when my own emotional responses are
inappropriate.

0 1 2 3 4
13. I apologize to my children for my inappropriate
expressions of emotion.
0 1 2 3 4
14. In general, my expressions of emotion are
appropriate; by my behaviors I show children how to
manage their emotions.

0 1 2 3 4
15. In general, I respect the feelings of others; by my
behavior I show children how to respect others.

0 1 2 3 4
16. In general, I set limits on the emotional
expressions of others; I require that others treat me
with respect.
0 1 2 3 4

Scoring:
There is no overall score, only scores for individual items.

4=Excellent
3=Very good
2=Your emotional availability in this area needs improvement. Be sure to acknowledge when you
have not been emotionally available and make up for it.
1=your children’s emotional health is at risk. Get professional help.
0=Get professional help immediately.

In any one item, 3’s and 4’s are very good. Scores of 2 means you need improvement. Scores of 1
mean your children’s emotional health is at risk. 0’s mean you have to do something about yourself
immediately for your children’s sake and for your own.

© 2009, 2010 by Jane F. Gilgun

Note: Thanks to Carol Coffey Hannah for her help in formatting this checklist.