Manifesto For Inspired Parenting - Raising Happy, Inspirational Children

Manifesto for
Inspired Parents
Vol 1
Raising happy
inspirational children.
By Annie Desantis
&
Doctor Donna Hamilton MD, M, !AAP
A note from Annie "....
I#m really e$cited to ha%e p&t together %ol 1 of my Manifesto for Inspired
Parents. '%er the years of coaching parents, I ha%e fo&nd it is al(ays
really &sef&l to ha%e something )&ic* to +ro(se thro&gh for inspiration. As
parents (e are al(ays doing the +est (e can at the time, and many parents
tell me they ,&st (ant some -instant. inspiration to gi%e them some ideas of
acti%ities or positi%e (ays they can interact (ith their children.
I#%e +een fort&nate to (or* (ith a (onderf&l pediatrician, Doctor Donna
Hamilton, and in cons&ltation (ith her (e ha%e p&t together a range of
ideas & tips across all age gro&ps to inspire parents to raise enlightened,
happy children.
I hope yo& en,oy and find heaps of inspiration in these tips.
/ishing yo& 0'1 in yo&r parenting 0o&rney,
Annie Desantis
Annie Desantis has a background in Psychology, Early Childhood Education. She is a Psychotherapist,
Facilitator, Artist and Parenting Coach. Annie has worked extensively with parents and organisations,
teaching and coaching for any years. !isit her website" http"##www.$nspiredParenting%ips.co
& http://www.inspiredparentingtips.com/ ~ Page 2 ~
A note from Dr Donna "....
It is my pleas&re to present these 2ips for Inspired Parents. /e ha%e
selected tips (hich I +elie%e (ill assist yo& in raising +alanced, enlightened,
happy, and healthy children. 2ho&gh the ma,ority of tips are things for yo&
to do (ith yo&r children, yo& (ill also find many tips that (ill s&pport yo&
in staying gro&nded and present d&ring yo&r parenting ,o&rney.
2ho&gh there are s&ggested age gro&ps for each acti%ity, e%ery child is
&ni)&e and de%elops at their o(n pace. 3se yo&r discernment regarding
(hich acti%ities to &se for yo&r children.
It is my sincere and heartfelt intention that these tips resonate
harmonio&sly (ith yo& and assist yo& in conscio&sly creating the positi%e
parenting e$perience yo& desire. I also hope they are %al&a+le reso&rces that
assist yo& in raising physically, mentally, emotionally, spirit&ally, and
socially healthy children.
Be (ell,
Donna 4. Hamilton, MD, M, !AAP
Vice President, Health and /ellness er%ices, Manifest 5$cellence, 446
Table of Contents
Getting The Most Out Of Our Tips...............................................5
Conscious Parenting.....................................................................6
Daily Activities...............................................................................8
Counication..............................................................................!
"otional Gro#th an$ Developent.........................................%%
&elf'(age) &elf'"stee..............................................................%*
&piritual Gro#th an$ Developent...........................................%+
,ela-ation an$ Me$itation..........................................................%6
&elf'A#areness............................................................................%.
Creating /ealthy 0eliefs an$ /abits..........................................%8
(agination1Creativity.................................................................*2
More Articles On Our 3ebsite....................................................*%
Getting The Most Out Of Our Tips
Each activity has been tagged#color coded with a suggested age group to
ake it easier to chose one that is suitable for your faily. %he activities are
also grouped into developental outcoes, so you can choose a particular
thee or focus. 'ut ost iportantly, the ai is to have fun with your
children, and explore and learn together.
4egen$
(nfant5
'irth()* +onths old
To$$ler an$ Pre'school5
)* onths(,years old
&chool Age5
-(). years old
Pre'teen an$ "arly a$olescence5
))(), years old
Mi$ an$ 4ate A$olescence5
)-()/ years old
Parents or 6oung a$ults5
7aily5
Conscious Parenting
87aily9
Set daily intentions for how you want your day to unfold. %he
best tie to do it is in the orning when you first wake up, or at bedtie the
night before. $f you do it at bedtie, set an intention for what you want to
experience the next day.
8Parents9
0et your children be who they are. %hey have their own 1ourney and although
you have a huge influence on the, it is not your responsibility to shape
the into what you think is best. Focus on how you want to be in your
relationships.
8To$$ler an$ Pre'school: &chool Age9
%each your children how to cal theselves down by designating a 2safe or
snuggle place3 in your hoe. Choosing a place with a soothing feel, a co4y
chair, or big cushion is a great idea. 5on6t use tie out as a punishent,
rather help your children to give theselves tie out to recharge and get in
touch with their inner being, or Source. Encourage the to bring any cofort
ite they ight have. 7ug the or rock the while in the space. %ell the
that when they feel angry or upset they can coe to the safe#snuggle place.
8epeat this whenever the child needs soothing until s#he begins to use it on
her#his own. 9e have a large chair that was y :randother6s. 'oth y
daughter and yself have always used this as our focus chair.
8Parents9
'e present with your children when they speak to you. 0ook at the and
focus on what they are telling you. $f you need to set tie boundaries on
their sharing, let the know that you do want to hear the whole story, and
ake a specific tie, for exaple over dinner or driving the to practice.
+ake sure you honor the arrangeent and ask the to tell you soe ore.
8To$$ler an$ Pre'school: &chool Age: Pre'teen an$ "arly a$olescence: Mi$ an$ 4ate A$olescence9
8einforcing positive behavior is the best way to attract what you want fro
your kids. 8eeber your kids want to keep playing 1ust as uch as you
want the to clean up. ;ust because you are the adult doesn6t ean your
needs are ore iportant. <ou 5= have the executive power, and your 1ob
as a parent is to anage the bigger picture, however find ways to eet both
needs if possible.
%alk to your children after reprianding the. 9ait until things have caled
down, and have a conversation with the to ake sure they understand why
you were unhappy with their actions. +ake sure you do not withhold love as
a way of showing your disapproval of their behavior. <ou want the to learn
to behave better based on good choices, not on fear of loosing your love or
approval.
8&chool Age: Pre'teen an$ "arly a$olescence: Mi$ an$ 4ate A$olescence9
7ave faily eetings. 5iscuss what is going well, what needs
iproveent, and any a1or decisions that ipact the faily, etc. %he older
children are, the ore say they should have in a1or faily decisions.
Children that take ownership of decision aking, and feel they are listened
too and their contribution is valued, ad1ust better to change, and take
responsibility for their actions.
8Parents or 6oung a$ults9
8eeber to odel the behavior and attributes you want to teach your
child. 5on6t expect your children to behave in ways you don6t. 'e congruent,
kids will pick up on any inconsistencies. %he ore you odel healthy ways
of living, dealing with conflict or getting yourself back in tune, the ore they
learn it. >ids learn FA8 ore fro what you do than what you say.
Daily Activities
8(nfant: To$$ler an$ Pre'school9
+ake up fun songs to go with daily rituals such as bath tie, getting
dressed, cleaning up, etc. Creating positive associations with routine
activities will help your child create positive thoughts and beliefs about even
undane aspects of life.
8(nfant: To$$ler an$ Pre'school: &chool Age9
7ave soothing and fun bedtie rituals. For exaple, play relaxing usic
while doing a foot assage with lotion after bath tie. Finish with a bedtie
story or editation.
8(nfant: To$$ler an$ Pre'school: &chool Age9
7ave tie(out snuggle ties instead of tie(out banishent. 9hen kids and
parents are getting stressed, it is tie to re(group, re(connect and shift the
energy back to one of love and respect.
8(nfant: To$$ler an$ Pre'school9
?se nursery rhyes and bedtie stories that have positive thees that
reinforce orals you want to instil in your children.
Counication
87aily9
0istening is the key to good counication. Show your children fro a very
early age you are giving the your full attention and listening carefully to
what they say and how they feel. %hey then learn both to listen to others and
that their counication is iportant.
5uring faily eetings you can have talking#listening rituals, like using a
talking stick @ so only the person holding the talking stick gets to talk. <ou
can practice active listening, by having other faily ebers feed(back what
they heard or understood.
%eaching children effective ways to get what they want fro their
parents is siilar to teaching the how to ask the ?niverse for what they
want. 'e consistent in enforcing the standards you want your children to use
when asking for things. %eaching the to counicate with you in a anner
that conveys respect and appreciation will also teach the that these
attributes will help the ore easily anifest what they want.
8To$$ler an$ Pre'school9
8eeber, the only way infants have to counicate that soething is
bothering the is through crying. As they learn to speak, you have to teach
the they can use words to express their discofort rather than crying.
9hining often occurs as children ake the transition fro crying to using
words to ask for what they want. %each the to ask clearly for what they
want. 8eind the they donAt have to cry in order to get it.
8Pre'teen an$ "arly a$olescence: Mi$ an$ 4ate A$olescence9
9hen kids are upset and angry, 1ust listen and reflect their feelings back,
don6t get into arguing or trying to fix or change the situation. +ore often than
not, kids 1ust want to be validated, and once they have articulated their
feelings they can ove on. Parents often get stuck wanting to fix or change
the situation or child6s reaction.
8eind older children that it is okay to vent about things that upset the, but
if they want soething, they have to cally, respectfully, and politely ask you
for what they want. 9hen they have let off stea gently ask the how they
want to deal with the situation, or what are the choices to resolve it.
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"otional Gro#th an$ Developent
Cut out pictures representing various eotions Chappy, sad, angry,
frightened, etc.D fro aga4ines. 7ave your child ake a collage for each
eotion. Ask the to ake up stories for the different pictures. For exaple,
ask the why they think the little girl is sad or what they think is aking the
little boy so happy. %his helps the learn to epathise.
7elp children learn to identify and nae their eotions. 9hen little children
are obviously upset say things like, 2$tAs okay to feel afraid,3 2<ou are so
excited today,3 or 2Are you angryE3
7elp your children learn the difference between a thought and a
feeling. 8edirect the if they follow the phrase 2$ feel3 with soething that is
really an opinion. For exaple if they say, 2$ feel that the teacher should have
listened to y opinion,3 relanguage that for the into either 2$ think the
teacher should have listened to y opinion,3 or 2$ feel frustrated that the
teacher did not listen to y opinion.3
8(nfant: To$$ler an$ Pre'school) 7aily;9
0et your children cry or rage when they donAt feel well, are in1ured, or need to
blow off stea. Cofort your children if they need it, but donAt necessarily try
to ake the stop crying. Crying is a natural reaction to feeling sad or
frustrated. 9hen children Cand adultsFD learn to express and honor their
feelings, they are then able to ove through it Guite Guickly. ?nexpressed
feelings get stuck and cause probles later. =ur feelings are our guidance
syste. 7ow we feel helps us to choose consciously how we react.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
&elf'(age) &elf'"stee
0ook for ties when your child is behaving well without you propting
the. %his is called 2catching the being good.3 :ive the abundant praise
when this happens. Children love receiving unexpected praise. $t helps the
feel good about theselves. $t also reinforces the belief and expectation that
positive things happen when you behave in a positive anner.
7elp children develop confidence in their ability to proble solve by
giving the an adeGuate aount of tie to solve real life challenges. For
exaple, wait patiently while a little one is tying their shoes, even if it
appears they ight need help, or allow older children to ake their own
arrangeents. 8eind the you have faith in their ability to work things out.
8eeber not to confuse your feelings of ipatience as your 2instinct3 that
your child needs assistanceF Children learn a far greater range of skills by
figuring things out for theselves. %hey don6t always need your instructions
and guidance.
8eind your child to acknowledge praise and copleents she
receives fro other people by saying thank you. %his helps the to be
present with the copleent which raises their awareness about their
positive attributes. $t also reinforces gratitude and good anners.
%each your child that they have their gifts because they are uniGue
expressions of :od#%he ?niverse#Source. 7elp the to use their skills and
gifts to ake the world a better place. 7ow can $ bring a sile to soeone
todayE
9rite a letter to your child telling the all the things you love and appreciate
about the. <ou can post this online at Annie6s websiteF
>eep a gratitude 1ournal of all the things you appreciate about your children
or your life. Parents, give it to your children at a ilestone event C*)st
birthday, going away to college, wedding, birth of their first child, etc.D
87aily9
0et your Children H Partner overhear you speaking highly of the or about
soething they have recently done. $ncreasing positive energy about your
faily is so iportant.
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&piritual Gro#th an$ Developent
87aily9
5eonstrate how you get yourself connected and back into alignent with
your guidance. $f your kids see you taking tie out to take care of yourself,
or see you editating or tuning in, it will be a natural part of their lives.
87aily9
Ask your child often to check in with their inner being, or higher self. Ask
the 2is this soething that your higher self is inspiring you to doE3 27ow
does your inner being feel about thisE3 7elp the to trust in their inner#higher
guidance and show that you respect and listen to your own.
%each your child siple affirations that will help the with school work.
For exaple"
2$ always know what $ need to know when $ need to know it3
2Studying is fun and easy3
2$ do y best and that6s good enough3
%o read ore about how to use affirations with your children, pop on over
to $nspired Parenting %ips" Affirations
%each your children the iportance of service by encouraging the to do
soething for soeone less fortunate than theselves, or to participate in
counity events, such as a beach clean(up or planting trees.
%each your children to copleent other people. $t helps the learn how to
recogni4e and appreciate positive Gualities in other people. Play gaes
around the dinner table, such as telling each other soething you
appreciated about the today.
9hen inGuiring about future vocational aspirations, ask your children
what they want to 5=, not what they want to 'E when they grow up. %each
the to use answers like happy or healthy if they are ever asked 29hat do
you want to be when you grow upE3 7elp your children to focus on how they
can use their gifts and skills to contribute in the world.
Cut out pictures fro aga4ines illustrating behaviors or attributes you
want to reinforce in your children Cex. sharing, reading, love, confidence,
etc.D Paste it onto a piece of cardboard and cut it up into pu44le pieces that
are appropriate for your child.
87aily9
9atch ovies with your children that have positive essages. 5iscuss
the ovie afterward to ake sure they understand it. Click the link for a
great source of wonderfully inspiring ovies, docuentaries or short fils"
Spir itual Cinea Circle. <ou can get a free trial C1ust pay P H PD
7ave your child keep a 2blessings 1ournal3 in which they write down
everything that happens to the that akes the feel good. Encourage
the to write down copleents they received, ties they had fun with a
friend, etc. 8eind the to read this anytie they feel sad or discouraged.
87aily9
Choose different principles Cex. :ratitude, ;oy, Acceptance, Co(operation,
7uility, Surrender, Enthusias, Faith, Copassion, etcD for your faily to
use as a weekly or onthly thee. For younger children, create activities or
read the stories highlighting the thee. For older children, use affirations
highlighting the thee or instruct the to find exaples of how they used the
attribute throughout their day.
,ela-ation an$ Me$itation
87aily9
9hen you feel stressed, angry, or frustrated, get still for a oent and focus
on your breath. 'reathe in slowly through your nose for - seconds, hold the
breath for five seconds, and then slowly exhale through your outh for five
seconds. 8epeat this several ties until you start to feel a shift. $f you donAt
feel a shift right away, be okay with that. Siply being present with your
feelings and accepting the raises your vibration.
?se a bell chie for editation. 7aving children focus on the sound of a bell
has any benefits. 'ells are soothing and they help change negative,
frenetic energy to positive, peaceful energy. Focusing on the sound also
teaches children to be in the oent.
Every chie of the bell, ask the to focus on soething @ i.e. how uch
they are loved, sending healing to :randa, surrounding the house in love
and light. 7elp the to also listen for the silence in between the chies.
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&elf'A#areness
Encourage children to participate in different extracurricular activities so
they becoe aware of their different skills, strengths, and interests.
'e selfaware and conscious about your beliefs and expectations regarding
your children and your parenting experience. <ou are ore likely to attract
the experience you want when you are aware of what you desire and why
you desire it.
?se challenging experiences with your children as tools for your personal
growth and developent. Ask yourself what the experience is here to teach
you and what beliefs or expectations attracted the experience. Parenting is
not 1ust about you teaching your children, our kids bring wonderful lessons to
us. 7elp your teenagers to look for the silver lining, or what they have
learned fro a difficult situation or challenge.
Ask older children their opinion about current events, pop culture
trends, soething interesting you 1ust saw on the street, etc. 0et the know
that their observations and opinions are iportant. %his helps the becoe
ore observant, ore present, and ore confident about their opinions.
%ake soe tie to listen to their usic, show your interest in their activities.
9hen you are out doing activities with your child, ask the what they see
that they think you havenAt noticed. $t helps you both sharpen your
observational skills and share your perspective about the things you discuss.
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Creating /ealthy 0eliefs an$ /abits
$f you purchase video gaes, purchase those that ake physical activity
part of the gae. %his builds an early association between exercise and fun.
%each your children that it is okay for the to have personal boundaries,
particularly physically. Iever force or guilt the into giving hugs or kisses,
even to close friends or faily ebers. For younger children, put words on
what they ight be feeling if they refuse to hug soeone, to validate how
they feel. 2<ou don6t feel like hugging Auntie todayE3 =r, 2Are you feeling sad
because :randpa is going hoe now, is that why you donAt want to hug
hiE3 +ake sure other adults respect your child6s boundaries. +y +other as
a three year old used to pinch elderly relatives when forced to kiss theF
8&chool Age: Pre'teen an$ "arly a$olescence9
5eonstrate the power of affiration by showing your children that positive
stateents increase their energy level. 7ave your children stand next to a
wall that has paper on it. 7ave the say, 2$A too tired,3 and have the take
turns 1uping as high as they can. +ark on the paper where they reach.
Iext have all the children affir 2$ have heaps of energy3 2$6 a power kid3
and have the 1up as high as they can. ?se a different color to ark where
they reached. 5iscuss how our thoughts are actually energy and that
negative thoughts can liit that energy but positive thoughts can increase
that energy.
8ead ore about using affirations on $nspired Parenting %ips
87aily9
7ave the entire faily sit at the table for dinner every night. %urn off
the television and all of the phones during this tie so that you can dine and
talk without interruption. 7ave little dinner rituals, like saying grace or a
blessing, focus on soething you appreciated during the day, or soething
you achieved.
87aily9
7ave the entire faily take a walk around your neighborhood at
least once a week. %ake turns at noticing the changes, flowers that are
budding, houses that are renovating, new neighbors. Find things in your
neighborhood you can iprove, clean up a park, plant a tree, help an elderly
person in the garden.
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(agination1Creativity
8&chool Age9
:ive your child a variety of shapes. %hey can either be blocks or cut out of
paper. Ask the how any different things they can ake out of the shapes.
Ask your children to draw pictures or write poes about the type of
world they want to live in when they are adults. Encourage the to create a
vision of what they want.
87aily9
Encourage creative thinking#reality creation and proble solving by playing
gaes such as"
9hat ifE
9hat if the weather today ended up being wonderfully sunnyE
9hat if you could aster this task, how would it feelE
9hat if we had a wonderful holiday this suer at a war beachE
9hat if you feel better in plenty of tie for the recital at school.
$ wonder J...
$ wonder what it would be like riding that lovely red bicycleE
$ wonder what your inner being#heart would sayE
$ wonder what would feel better right nowE
$ wonder how C7arry Potter or a super heroD would deal with thisE
$f you did know J.... Cwhen kids @ or adultsF are feeling stuckD
7ow would it feelE
9hat ight it be likeE
9hat could be soe choicesE
More Articles On Our 3ebsite
%here is heaps of inforation about child developent and lots of Parenting
%ips to inspire you on our parenting site. 7ere6s a selection you ay find
interesting.
Child(developent
%his page has links to all the stages of developent for children. Each page
has lots of tips and ideas relevant to that age.
Ask Annie
<our Parenting Kuestions are answered online. <ou can also read and
coent on Guestions subitted by other parents.
EF% For >ids
Eotional Freedo %echniGue is tapping techniGue using the eridians
siilar to acupuncture. $t is a great tool to use with children. %he following
article shows the tapping points and there is also a link to a K H A page.
Super Skills , >ids
Super Skills is our hoe study course for children, teaching the to achieve
or learn skills to deal with anything they are finding challenging. Packed full
of resources and ideas, Super Skills , >ids also coes with a free
workbook.
5o Children +isbehaveE
?nderstanding child behavior and tips for dealing with difficulties. Also ore
links to other articles on behavior.
%eenage Counication
?nderstanding %eenagers and keeping those lines of counication open is
vital for aintaining a close relationship with your teen.
I hope yo& fo&nd lots of &sef&l tips for yo&r family. Don#t forget to sign7&p for o&r
8e(sletter at Inspired Parenting 2ips. /e *eep yo& &p to date, feat&re reader#s
stories, recommend great parenting reso&rces, and of co&rse heaps of tips and ideas.
I#d lo%e to hear from yo&, to email me, clic* on the lin* +elo(9
I also lo%e reader contri+&tions on my site, and add more pages all the time to get
yo&r ideas and stories. 6lic* here to see the pages (here yo& can share yo&r stories.
/ishing yo& 0'1 in yo&r Parenting 0o&rney,
Annie Desantis
email Annie

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