Personal Statement

When I picked my A level courses I picked three subjects I were interested and I
knew one of these subjects I would like to study further at university. I finally
decided that I wanted to follow on with media studies and take up film studies at
university level. I’m interested in media because it is everything in the world of
today. The internet, TV, newspapers etc. All media and how people find out news on
something they are interested and now different media sources allow people to
communicate and I find media very interesting on how the public preserve things
and how it effects the life of so many people.

I had a chance to have a day work experience behind the scenes of match of the
day at the BBC studios in June 2009 with Garth Crooks and three other boys, I got
this opportunity through the Amos Bursary scheme were they help Afro-Caribbean
young males who have a record of achieving high grades, finically when they go to
university to help pay for tuitions fees. We got too see the effort and timing a
Television show takes to prepare and how big the team is behind the scenes. This
helped me look at the options in the media sector and how broad the media field is
and it has given me extra options.

I have had some other experience in the media sector as well, for 6 weeks during
the summer I had a 6 week internship at GYRO HSR in Chelsea harbour. They are an
advertising firm who work with business to sale advertise projects for different
businesses, e.g. for Sony they were creating adverts for the new range of Sony
laptops. I had two weeks each in The Art, Digital and Design departments and I got
to see the different aspects of advert creation and this was really interesting
because it gave me another option on what career I would like to take after
university. Before I went on my internship I and two of my friends entered a film
festival at our 6th form/school with a documentary about race and how people
London feel about racism. We didn’t win the overall prize; however, we won the best
content prize. This was a good experience of filming and editing, and I know that
there is a lot of work to be done when I do future work, however, I do enjoy it and
expect the work because I know it won’t be easy. Also while I was GYRO: HSR I was
able to go into the film studio Fire Cracker Films who they share a building with and
get too see what they do. After this it showed me how detailed the research of
filming is and the preparation is when filming a project. I do try read newspapers
daily to keep up to date on the news and I do read different media articles just so I
keep up to date on anything changing.

Before I made the decision of defiantly taking media at university level or a course
similar I spoke to some people I know who work in the media world. I spoke to
someone who works with BBC 5 Live who told me about the positives and negatives
of working on a sports station. He told me that it can have a strain on your personal
 Personal Statement

life but is a great job and very enjoyable. I also spoke to my media teacher who told
me that before she became a teacher she was a runner at nickelodeon and this was
something she wouldn’t recommend but, it is a stepping stone into the media world.

I can handle both educational work and working in a business. I worked for 8
months from August 2008 until April 2009 at Barratts and H&M. I stopped working
because I wanted to focus on my exams so I wanted to be fully dedicated to my
work. Also since February I’ve been taking salsa lessons, this is apart of the Brent
youth council. We will be going to Cuba in November and when we come back will
be performing in different Brent festivals.

This is a good personal statement. I’ll leave the original text above, but will paste a
copy of it below with some spelling/grammar/phrasing changes. These mistakes are
easy to make and it usually takes the eyes of someone else to pick up on them.
Mostly it’s replacing “too” with “to” and putting extra commas in etc.

When I picked my A level courses I picked three subjects I had interest in and I knew
one of these subjects I would like to study further at university. I finally decided that
I wanted to follow on with media studies and take up film studies at university level.
I’m interested in media because it is everything in the world of today. The internet,
TV, newspapers etc. All media and how people find out news on something they are
interested and now different media sources allow people to communicate. I find
media very interesting, including how the public perceive things and how the media
affect the lives of so many people.

I had a chance to have a day’s work experience behind the scenes of ‘Match of the
Day’ at the BBC studios in June 2009 with Garth Crooks and three other boys. I got
this opportunity through the Amos Bursary Scheme, which helps Afro-Caribbean
young males who have a record of achieving high grades, financially when they go
to university to help pay for tuitions fees. We got to see the effort and timing a
television show takes to prepare and how big the team is behind the scenes. This
helped me look at the options in the media sector and how broad the media field is
and it has given me extra options.

I have had some other experience in the media sector as well: during the summer I
had a six- week internship at GYRO HSR in Chelsea Harbour. It is an advertising firm
that works to sell advertising projects for different businesses e.g. they created
adverts for the new range of Sony laptops. I had two weeks each in the art, digital
and design departments and I got to see the different aspects of advert creation.
This was really interesting because it gave me another option on the career I would
 Personal Statement

like to pursue after university. Before I went on my internship two friends and I
entered a film festival at our sixth form with a documentary about race and how
people in London feel about racism. We didn’t win the overall prize; however, we
won the best content prize. This was a good experience of filming and editing, and I
know that there is a lot of work to be done when I do future work. However, I do
enjoy it and expect the work because I know it won’t be easy. Also while I was at
GYRO: HSR I was able to go into the film studio Fire Cracker Films who they share a
building with and got to see what they do. It showed me how detailed the research
of filming and the preparation are when filming a project. I try to read newspapers
daily to keep up to date on the news and I read different media articles just so I
keep up to date on any changes.

Before I made the decision of definitely taking media at university level or a course
similar I spoke to some people I know who work in the media world. I spoke to
someone who works with BBC 5 Live who told me about the positives and negatives
of working on a sports station. He told me that it can have a strain on your personal
life but is a great job and very enjoyable. I also spoke to my media teacher who told
me that before she became a teacher she was a runner at Nickelodeon and this was
something she wouldn’t recommend, but that it is a stepping stone into the media
world.

I can handle both educational work and working in a business. I worked for eight
months from August 2008 until April 2009 at Barratts and H&M. I stopped working
because I wanted to focus on my exams so I wanted to be fully dedicated to my
work. Also since February I’ve been taking salsa lessons; this is a part of the Brent
Youth Council. We will be going to Cuba in November and when we come back will
be performing at different Brent festivals.

Now I’ll look more specifically at the content of your personal statement. Check it
over yourself if you like, but you must always keep at the forefront of your mind
these two things: (a) A professor and expert in this field is reading your statement;
and (b) you are selling your ability to do really well in this field of study. You need to
be looking at it with professors’ eyes the whole time i.e. “Why have they written
that?” “Does this make me want to offer the candidate a place?” “How have they
taken positive skills and experiences and values out of what they have done?”
Again, I won’t touch the personal statement above but I’ll look at the content of
your personal statement in another copy of it below. I won’t necessarily change or
rephrase things for you – you are talking about yourself and you know best how you
 Personal Statement

want to come across. I can suggest some things for you to think about, though.
Remember that you have only 47 lines and so every word must count in your
favour. Every point you make must contribute towards your greater aim of getting a
professor to take a liking to your application.

N.B. “Media” is the plural form of “medium” – which means you must say “media
are” instead of “media is”. It sounds a bit weird but the people who will be reading
your personal statement will pick up this mistake in a second.

When I picked my A level courses I picked three subjects I had interest in and I knew
one of these subjects I would like to study further at university. I finally decided that
I wanted to follow on with media studies and take up film studies at university
level1. I’m interested in media because it is everything in the world of today. The
internet, TV, newspapers etc.2 All media and how people find out news on
something they are interested and now different media sources allow people to
communicate.3 I find media very interesting, including how the public perceive
things and how the media affect the lives of so many people.

I had a chance to have a day’s work experience behind the scenes of ‘Match of the
Day’ at the BBC studios in June 2009 with Garth Crooks and three other boys4. I got
this opportunity through the Amos Bursary Scheme, which helps Afro-Caribbean
young males who have a record of achieving high grades5, financially when they go
to university to help pay for tuitions fees.6 We got to see the effort and timing a
television show takes to prepare and how big the team is behind the scenes. This

1
Does the reader need you to tell them that you decided to study film studies? You’ve
applied for the course – that’s enough proof that you decided to apply for the course.
2
This is not a complete sentence – did you mean to add something onto this?
3
Again, this doesn’t seem like a real sentence – what point are you trying to make?
4
Reconsider this. Are professors going to bother to Google “Garth Crooks” if they are unsure
who he is, and do you need to mention that other people also did the work experience? You
are selling yourself, not three other boys.
5
Could be phrased more concisely e.g. “young, high-achieving Afro-Caribbean males”. This
way you are also describing yourself as a high-achiever rather than saying, more
pessimistically, that you have achieved good grades before, which might make it sound like
a fluke.
6
Maybe going into too long a description of the bursary scheme; also, need to reconsider
phrasing.
 Personal Statement

helped me look at the options in the media sector and how broad the media field is
and it has given me extra options7.

I have had some other experience in the media sector as well: during the summer I
had a six- week internship at GYRO HSR in Chelsea Harbour. It is an advertising firm
that works to sell advertising projects for different businesses e.g. they created
adverts for the new range of Sony laptops. I had two weeks each in the art, digital
and design departments and I got to see the different aspects of advert creation.
This was really interesting because it gave me another option on the career I would
like to pursue after university8. Before I went on my internship9 two friends and I
entered a film festival at our sixth form with a documentary about race and how
people in London feel about racism. We didn’t win the overall prize; however, we
won the best content prize.10 This was a good11 experience of filming and editing,
and I know that there is a lot of work to be done when I do future work. However, I
do enjoy it and expect the work because I know it won’t be easy. Also while I was at
GYRO: HSR I was able to go into the film studio Fire Cracker Films who they share a
building with12 and got to see what they do. It showed me how detailed the research
of filming and the preparation are when filming a project13. I try to read newspapers
daily to keep up to date on the news and I read different media articles just so I
keep up to date on any changes.14

Before I made the decision of definitely15 taking media at university level or a

course similar16 I spoke to some people I know17 who work in the media world. I
spoke to someone who works with BBC 5 Live who told me about the positives and
negatives of working on a sports station. He told me that it can have a strain on

7
What is the purpose of writing this? It would help you to either cut this part out, or to
expand on the options it gave you (remembering that these options need to relate to your
suitability to the course).
8
Again, you’re too secretive about these “options”. It would interest professors to know
roughly what you might like to with the degree they could offer you.
9
Would sound better to give a precise date e.g. “In May 2009…”
10
Negativity! You’re drawing attention to your ‘failures’ (as such). You could just say that you
won a prize for the best content, and leave it at that.
11
More exciting adjective needed?
12
Don’t really need to mention this.
13
Seems unnecessary to say – obviously you’re doing a filming project if you are researching
and preparing for filming.
14
This is a brilliant opportunity to state your opinion on something in the news and media to
display your ability and to show that you’re thinking about it and are interested.
15
Not necessary.
16
Again, unnecessary. Professors don’t want to know that you are 100% dedicated in taking
their course, not that it’s just one in a range of media-related options.
17
Probably better not to say “I know” – if you leave this out it will appear that you have gone
to more effort to talk to people in the media industry.
 Personal Statement

your personal life but is a great job and very enjoyable.18 I also spoke to my media
teacher who told me that before she became a teacher she was a runner at
Nickelodeon and this was something she wouldn’t recommend, but that it is a
stepping stone into the media world.19

I can handle both educational work and working in a business20. I worked for eight
months from August 2008 until April 2009 at Barratts and H&M. I stopped working
because I wanted to focus on my exams so I wanted to be fully dedicated to my
work. Also since February I’ve been taking salsa lessons; this is a part of the Brent
Youth Council.21 We will be going to Cuba in November22 and when we come back
will be performing at different Brent festivals.

My final point is probably the most important: YOU NEED A STRONG CLOSING. This
is your final chance to appeal to professors and to make them want you on their
course. Try to summarise why you’d be the ideal candidate for the degree by pulling
in the most important features of your personality (e.g. hard-working, enthusiastic,
passionate, meticulous). End talking about your suitability for the course. I cannot
stress the importance of your closing lines enough!

18
Professors do not need to know the advice that someone gave you, particularly since you
have mentioned a disadvantage.
19
This is your teacher’s story, not yours. You are not passing on advice to the professor, you
are selling yourself! This tells me nothing about you.
20
Unless this course lays heavy emphasis on vocationalism and work experience (e.g. if it’s
a sandwich course) then you don’t need to tell them how good you are in the workplace,
only how great you’d be academically.
21
These things have nothing to do with you taking film studies at degree level but they are
still things that you have accomplished. Therefore, you need to use these experiences to
show the reader the skills that you have either put to use or have learnt from these
experience, which would help your university educational success.
22
“going” to Cuba? Performing in Cuba? Touring Cuba? Just going there doesn’t say anything
about your purpose and therefore says nothing positive about you.