COUNSELLING What is Counselling? Counselling involves the use of core skills which include listening, reflecting and summarising.

It is based on talking and the respectful, trusting relationship that builds up between the client and the counsellor. A counsellor will be supportive but give little or no direct advice, since the aim is to help the client to develop insight into their problems. Counselling and helping There are a number of ways to approach a definition of counselling and helping. Some of these are explored below prior to arriving at a composite definition. It is a relationship. The emphasis here is on the uality of the relationship offered to the client. Characteristics of a good helping relationship are sometimes stated as non!possessive warmth, genuineness and a sensitive understanding of the client"s thoughts and feelings. It involves a repertoire of skills. This repertoire of skills both incorporates and also goes beyond those of the basic relationship. Another way of looking at these skills is that they are interventions which are selectively deployed depending upon the needs and states of readiness of clients. It emphasises self-help. #elping is a process with the overriding aim of helping clients to help themselves. Another way of stating this is that all clients, to a greater or less degree, have problems in taking effective responsibility for their lives. The notion of personal responsibility is at the heart of the processes of effective helping and self!help. It emphasises choice. $lsewhere I have defined personal responsibility as %the process of making the choices that maximise the individual"s happiness and fulfilment". Throughout their lives people are choosers. They can make good choices or poor choices. #owever, they can never escape the %mandate to choose among possibilities". #elping aims to help clients become choosers. It focuses on problems of living. #elping is primarily focused on the choices re uired for the developmental tasks, transitions and individual tasks of ordinary people rather than on the needs of the moderately to severely disturbed minority. Developmental tasks are tasks which people face at differing stages of their life span& for instance, finding a partner, developing and maintaining an intimate relationship, raising children' and ad(usting to declining physical strength. The notion of transitions both applies to progression through the life stages, and acknowledges that changes can be unpredictable and not necessarily in accordance with normative developmental tasks& for instance, getting fired, as contrasted with maintaining a steady (ob. The notion of individual tasks represents the existential idea of people having to create their lives through their daily choices. This is despite constraints in themselves, from others and from their environments. Though helping skills may be used with vulnerable groups like psychiatric patients, helpers are mainly found in non!medical settings. It is a process. The word %process" denotes movement, flow and the interaction of at least two people in which each is being influenced by the behaviour of the other. )oth helpers and clients can be in the process of influencing each other. *urthermore, though some of this process transpires within sessions, much of it is likely to take place between sessions and even after the contact has ended. +hat begins as a process involving two people ideally ends as a self!help process. What does an effective counsellor loo li e? In looking at an %effective counsellor" the following skills become apparent ,as espoused by Corey, -../0 !aving an identit"# 1eople who have an identity know ultimately who they are and what they want. $ecognition and acceptance of o%n po%er# They feel ade uate with others and can allow others feel powerful with them. $espect and appreciate themselves & They can give love and respect to others from their own self worth. &he" are open to change& Change is something strived for, if they are unhappy or simply (ust want to change something currently, they will make the efforts to achieve.

&he" are ma ing choices that shape their lives# They do not live on decisions made but constantly reshape their decisions. &he" feel alive and their choices are life orientated# They have a personal commitment to live life to the full. &he" are authentic' sincere and honest# They do not hide behind anything. &he" have a sense of humour# They are able to put the events of life in perspective, they can laugh at themselves. &he" ma e mista es and are %illing to admit them# They do not dismiss their errors lightly, but don"t dwell on the misery. &he" live in the present# $xperiencing the now, not living in the past. (ppreciative of the influence of culture# Aware of ways that their culture has affected them and aware of other cultures. Sincere interest in the %elfare of others# )ased on care, respect, trust and a value of others. &he" )ecome deepl" involved in their %or and derive meaning from it# Can accept rewards from work, but not slaves to work. &he" are a)le to maintain health" )oundaries# Although fully present for clients, they don"t carry their client"s problems around with them. They know how to say no2 What are Counselling S ills? The meanings of the word skill include proficiency, competence and expertness in some activity. #owever, the essential element of a skill is the ability to make and implement an effective se uence of choices so as to achieve a desired ob(ective. *or instance, if you are to be a good listener, you have to make and implement the choices entailed in being a good listener. The fact that all skills involve choices does not mean that the activities have to be carried out in a mechanistic way. 3ather the skills approach to helping may free you to be more spontaneous. The concept of skill is best viewed not as an either4or matter in which you either posses or do not possess a skill. Instead it is preferable to think of yourself as possessing skills resources and deficits or a mixture of the two. If you make good choices in a skills area, for instance, either in listening or in helping clarify a problem, this is a skills resource. If you make poor choices in a skills area, this is a skills deficit. In all helping skills areas you may possess resources and deficits in varying degrees. *or example, in the skills areas of listening, you may be good at understanding clients but poor at demonstrating your understanding to them. Creating the Conditions for Change Clients' Counsellors and Change Clients usually come to counselling because something has to be changed. The client does not always know what that something is, especially early on in counselling sessions. In addition to this, the counsellor rarely knows what clients need to change in themselves or their situation. And even if they do know, it is nearly always unhelpful simply to tell clients what they need to do to sort out their problems. It is one of the tasks of the counsellor to enable clients to find out what it is they need to talk about and that takes time. As clients discover what it is they want to talk about in counselling, so the counsellor begins to find out what it is that is important for the clients. So one of the first things that clients and counsellors do early in counselling, and in succeeding counselling sessions, is to go through a process of %prospecting" looking for the things that need to be brought into counselling. Sometimes these may seem trivial at first, but later they may turn out to be especially important to the client. At this stage of counselling, the counsellor and the client collaborate with each other in identifying what the problems are and formulating what it is they need to work on together. Clearly, rapport has to be established early and the counsellor spends time listening to the client"s view of the difficulties, and what the client has done so far to overcome the problems. I find it is also useful to explore with clients what the outcomes of their attempts have been to solve their problems and what lessons they have learned so far. 5ne of counsellor"s main goals in practical counselling is to create the conditions where clients can change. Change comes in may shapes and forms. Clients can change the way they think about their problems. They can change the way they feel about their problems, and they change the way they behave in situations

associated with their problems. Another change they may choose to make is not to try to do anything about the problems that they bring to counselling. Changing from trying to solve problems in their personal lives to letting the problems work themselves out has brought significant changes in clients. +hen clients choose to stop trying it is still a change for them. Such changes should not be underestimated for their therapeutic or healing value. The essential point is that for counselling to have a real and lasting effect, clients should be free to choose the changes they wish to make in their lives. $ ually, counsellors can influence the counselling process in any ethical way they can with the intention of making more choices available to the client. These choices are the basis on which clients can then consider, and make decisions about, what it is they need to change in themselves, others, or their situation. &rust and $espect * &he Core of Counselling Clients are unlikely to want to make any changes unless they trust and respect the counsellor. Change can be seriously obstructed unless there is a strong bond of this kind between the client and the counsellor. It is a truism among counsellors that if you lose a client"s trust and respect, you have lost the battle for change with the client. +hatever form of practical counselling you are offering to clients, you need to ensure that you create a climate of trust and respect during counselling sessions. Carl 3ogers, the founder of person!centred counselling, held the view that trusting in the potential of the client and respecting them lay at the core of counselling. #e believed the counsellor should convey 67 respect and full acceptance of the client as he4she is and similar attitudes towards the client"s potentialities for dealing with his4her situations78. Also, if the counsellor expresses attitudes of full acceptance and a deep respect towards clients, both for their problems and their potentialities to solve their problems, within a climate of warmth and genuineness, the conditions for change are more likely to be created. Trust and respect are reciprocal in practical counselling. The give and take between you and the client provides opportunities for mutuality, a respect for each other. Implicit in the relationship between the counsellor and the client is the belief that together you have the capacity and competence to explore and to understand each other. *urther than this, clients should come to the point where they realise that you respect and trust their potential for resolving their own problems. This is one of the main influencing roles that the counsellor plays during practical counselling. Clearly, trust and respect need to be conveyed by the counsellor towards clients at the start of counselling and throughout their contact with clients. #owever, making sure you generate trust and respect does not mean you will always agree with the clients" thoughts, feelings or behaviour. Simply agreeing with your clients may only serve to maintain their problems and hold up any changes they would like to make. 9evertheless, early on in counselling sessions, when you are building rapport and gathering information, it is important to acknowledge what clients are saying and clarify with them from time to time that you understand what they are saying and meaning when they are telling you about their personal problems. #owever, acknowledging the client should not be construed as endorsing agreement, and you should be vigilant to make sure this difference is observed in counselling sessions. &rust and Client Confidentialit" Confidentiality All that takes place between counsellor and client is treated with respect and discretion. A contract is discussed at the outset, which includes the boundaries around confidentiality. This is integral to the development of the counselling relationship. Confidentiality may be broken if

A client was a danger to themselves or others. +here a counsellor is legally obliged to disclose the information. +here the client re uests the counsellor to disclose the information on their behalf

Trusting and respecting the client are useful for building rapport with clients. In turn, clients often develop trust and respect and are protective of their relationships with their counsellors. Trust and respect can be built. Sometimes it has to be earned by counsellors and clients. 5ccasionally there is no easy road to building trust or respect, especially when some clients have been disappointed or %let down" in their previous relationships with others. Achieving trust and respect can sometimes be a fragile beginning in counselling for counsellors and clients. $stablishing and maintaining a climate of confidentiality between yourself and clients greatly helps to strengthen trust and respect. In practical counselling the client"s trust of the counsellor should never be broken. The counsellor is the guardian of the client"s privacy. Client confidentiality is the responsibility of the counsellor and should be maintained within a strict and clear code of professional practice. If, or when, confidentiality is breached, it should be for reasons that both the client and the counsellor understand and

have previously agreed to. There are good practical, therapeutic and ethical reasons for establishing and maintaining client confidentiality in counselling. $thics are the guidelines for effective counselling. Counselling cannot# Change the past. :uarantee a positive future. Change to world. #elp everybody. Change client"s economic or social circumstances. :uarantee happiness. Solve insoluble problems. Counselling can# #elp client understand themselves better. #elp client talk through their problems. Allow present feelings to emerge and be expressed. Allow past feelings to be re!experienced and re!evaluated. Allow present life situations to be explored and considered. $nable more informed decision making. #elp client get more out of life. #elp client put more into life. #elp client en(oy better relationships. #elp client become more of who they are. Counselling Contract The purpose of a contract is to give the relationship as much security as possible. It helps the client to know where they stand and contributes to the development of trust in the relationship. The contract is a clear, negotiated agreement which has three aspects. The first is the contract for counselling, meaning that the client agrees that counselling is what they want and know that is what they are receiving versus advice or help. The second covers aspects such as, length of session, times and number of sessions and confidentiality. Third, both counsellors and clients need to agree what changes clients want to make. +orking to a contract is a powerful way both of focusing the work and of making it a shared enterprise. Counselling begins with a brief explanation from the counsellor as to how he or she wants to work. *or example, the counsellor will probably say how much time is made available ; /. min therapeutic hour etc. Then the ground rules are relayed to the client ! for example, that the client can feel free to say anything or express and feelings, however distressing, and that what is said will be confidential between them. It might also be felt necessary to add that the counsellor will spend most of the time listening. At some point in all this, if there is a specific ob(ective which the client wishes to achieve, as sometimes there is, then therapist and client agree how this shall be defined. It may sound a lot to cover, but in fact all this is done briefly, and in a manner which helps to build up trust. In counselling the contract is designed to offer security to the client. The uestion of fees is settled in much the same way, and specific ob(ectives, where these apply, are defined. <ates and times are agreed for sessions, and these tend to be regularly spaced. The fact that the sessions are regular means that the client and therapist think of these times as belonging only to the client. =any therapists also believe that the regular time!frame has a security of its own, akin to the way children feel secure knowing that something they need will always be there for them. It also encourages the client to set aside time in advance for the therapy and to see this as work, with its own special time and place, like having a (ob to do. The work that is done with the therapist will largely be restricted to these times. A good introduction would be& Thank you for coming in today. The last time we spoke on the phone we covered ,the counselling relationship cost, duration etc...0 <o you have any uestions relating to these> $verything we talk about is confidential, with one exception, if you were to cause harm to self or others.

+ualit" of the $elationship Setting up clear contracts to provide security, building up trust, and keeping things on a professional footing are obviously important. )ut what makes therapy possible is something which has much more to do with the uality of the relationship than with the arrangements the two people make about the work. *rom start to finish, the therapy relationship depends for its effectiveness on each client being met as a uni ue individual. &he ,asic -eatures of a !elping $elationship Carl 3ogers has suggested that helpers need to communicate three basic ualities if a helping relationship is to be successful& empathy, warmth and genuineness. #e suggests that the helper"s ability to communicate these ualities would be sufficient to determine whether or not a helping relationship would have a positive outcome. .. Empath" ?$mpathy is the counsellor@s ability to sense the client@s world the way the client does and to convey that understanding.? ?$mpathy is the skill of reflecting back to another person the emotions he or she is expressing so that he or she feels heard and understood.? %$mpathy involves listening to clients, understanding them. .. ... and communicating this understanding to them so that they might understand themselves more fully and act of their understanding" $mpathy involves two ma(or skills& perceiving and communicating Carl Rogers on empathy ?The therapist is sensing the feelings and personal meanings which the client is experiencing in each moment, when he can perceive these from the inside, as they seem to the client, and when he can that understanding to his client, then the third condition has been fulfilled.? Questions to ask yourself: Can I step into his private world so completely that I lose all desire to evaluate and judge it? Can I let myself enter fully the world of the client's feelings an personal meanings and see these as he does? Can I enter it so sensitively that I can move about it freely without trampling on meanings that are precious to the client? Can I e!tend this understanding without limit? Can I sense it so accurately that I can catch not only the meanings of the client's e!perience which are obvious to him but those meanings which are only implicit which he sees only dimly or as confusion? Empathic techni/ue Encouragers These are ?continuers?. They can be verbal, non!verbal, or a mixture. They communicate to the client& ?I am listening?, ?I want to listen?, and ?I want to understand more about your experience? 9on!verbal ?encourager? behaviours include nodding your head, leaning forward, making sounds like ?umm, ah, etc. *acial expressions are used like smiles and grimaces. All of these non!verbal expression convey ?I am with you.? Aerbally, encouragers give permission, re uest additional information, and provide direction. $xamples include statements like ?Can you tell me more about that?> 5r ?I@m curious about ...... Reflections 3eflective listening can be a powerful tool of communication. In reflective listening you simply reflect to the client what you think you heard, making sine to reflect their feelings The power of reflective listening lies in three distinct forces& As the counsellor processes what the client is saying through the counsellor@s own experience and reflects it to the client in the counsellor@s own words, it lets the client know that the counsellor has not only heard the client but has understood what has been said. The counsellor is telling the client what he is saying in an accurate way, it is clear the counsellor has been listening and not distorting what the client has told the counsellor.

As the counsellor reflects to the client what the counsellor@s understanding is, the client has an opportunity to hear him or herself in a new way.

Empathic comments The empathic comment is the message the counsellor sends to the client that they have been heard and understood. 3ogers wrote& ?To be with another in this way ,empathetic0 means that for the time being you lay aside the views and values you hold for yourself in order to enter another@s world without pre(udice. In some ways it means you lay aside yourself@. $mpathic comments include using a running commentary while the client is talking, this would include encouragers and reflective listening. Another approach is to wait until the client finishes speaking and then summariBe with reflective statements . Why do we use empathic listening?

To show an interest in the client To encourage the client to gain a better understanding of himself To support the client in his attempts to resolve conflict It is therapeutic in and of itself It leads to an increase in client satisfaction To discover the client@s needs and concerns The most important reason we use empathic listening is because it maintains the client as the primary problem solver.

arriers to empathic listening Cultural differences :ender Seeing the client as an ob(ect 9ot understanding your role as a counsellor Counsellor"s inner!world ,inscape0 Counsellor"s preconceived ideas and beliefs Counsellor may be uncomfortable in the presence of the client@s strong emotions ! grief, anger or pain !hree elements of effective and accurate empathy a" #ub$ective way of knowing 3ogers ,CDEF0 contended that a person has the capacity to direct empathic understanding to his or her own frame of reference. Through a sensitive attunement, an individual is able to empathically sense his or her own sub(ective internal state. b" %nterpersonal way of knowing *rom an interpersonal stance, directly interacting with a client constitutes the primary way of knowing about that individual@s private world of meanings. It is also possible to empathiBe with a client by using information obtained from significant others@ observations of the individual ,3ogers, CDEF0. c" &b$ective way of knowing 3ogers ,CDEF0 indicated that it is possible to direct a person@s empathic understanding toward groups who have an external frame of reference. 0. Warmth The second feeling of helping which Carl 3ogers regarded as essential was something called %unconditional positive regard". 5ther words for this feature are acceptance or warmth. In coining the term unconditional positive regard Carl 3ogers wished helpers and counsellors to %priBe the person" ! to respect people for who and what they are, for their uni ue!ness and for their individuality. 1. Genuineness

The third condition outlined by Carl 3ogers as necessary for effective helping and counselling is genuineness, though some writers prefer the term authenticity. Gike warmth, this is a difficult construct to define and explain. The simplest way of thinking about genuineness is to regard it as open communication. Instead of the person in need trying to guess at what you really mean, or trying to decode the differences between what you say and the image your body communication provides them with, there is a directness and openness about the way you communicate. Thinking of genuineness as a statement of open communication suggests another link with warmth. A common difficulty in thinking about warmth is the feeling that it inevitably involves the suppression of the thoughts and feelings of the helper. "owever when all three conditions are taken together # empathy warmth and genuineness # it is clear that the helper is in a position to share thoughts and feelings with the person in need providing that they are aiming to understand what the inner world of that person is like and that their comments and reactions to them as a person are founded upon their acceptance of and warmth towards that person . #aving made this observation, there are ways in which you can improve the extent to which you communicate your genuineness to others. *our suggestions are made here& <evelop the ability to describe yourself to yourself ! pay particular attention to changes in your mood, your relationships with others, and your strengths weaknesses. <evelop your ability to describe yourself to others ! practice self disclosure. Try to predict your own behaviour ! see (ust how good a (udge of your own character and reactions you are and examine why it is that you sometimes react in ways which you did not intend. The aim of these activities is to encourage you to act in ways that facilitate self!disclosure, encourage honesty and improve self!understanding. Conditions of the &herapeutic 2rocess C. That two persons are in contract. -. That the first person who is the client is in a state of incongruence, vulnerability or anxiety. H. That the second person, the counsellor is congruent in the relationship. F. That the counsellor is experiencing unconditional positive regard towards the client /. That the counsellor is experiencing an empathetic understanding of the clients" internal frame of reference E. That the client perceives at least to a minimal degree the unconditional positive regard and the empathy being expressed by the counsellor towards them. E3pected &herapeutic 2rocess +hen the preceding conditions exist then the following process is set in motion& C. The client is increasingly free in expressing feelings through verbal or motor channels. -. *eelings expressed increasingly have reference to the self rather then non!self. 1. Increasing differentiation of feelings and perceptions towards the environment, other people, self, experiences and the interrelationship of all of these. F. $xpressed feeling increasingly have reference to the incongruity between certain of his experiences and his concept of self. /. 3ealisation of the threat of the incongruity ; this is made possible in part through the counsellor continually showing unconditional positive regard, which is extended to incongruence as much as to congruency and as much to anxiety as to absence of anxiety. E. The client experiences fully feeling that have in the past been denied awareness and or have been distorted. I. 5rganisation of self takes place so as to assimilate these experiences which have previously been distorted or denied. J. As this reconstruction of the self!structure takes place, the clients" concept of self becomes more incongruent with the experiences of self, the self now includes experiences that previously may have been considered too threatening or denied. 5verall defences are lowered and the %self" becomes open to the experiences. D. The client becomes increasingly able to experience the counsellors" unconditional positive regard without any threat. C.. The client experiences an increasing positive self! regard. CC. The client experiences himself as a %locus" of evaluation. C-. The clients" reactions to experience are more based on organismic valuing experience than conditions of worth. E3pected Outcomes

The client is more congruent, more open to experience, less defensive. =ore realistic and ob(ective =ore effective in problem solving 1sychological ad(ustment is improved +ith the self congruity and openness to experience, vulnerability to threat is reduced. 1erception of ideal self is more real and congruent with %self". Tensions are reduced. Increased positive self!regard. 1erceives the locus of evaluation and choice to be internal. $xperiences more acceptance. 1erception of others more realistically and accurately. $xperiences more acceptance of others. 5wns own experience, behaviour is perceived to be client control. =ore mature and sociable behaviour. Clear in own purpose and values.

Other )asic features of helping +hen Carl 3ogers suggested that empathy, warmth and genuineness were necessary conditions for effective helping and counselling, he also suggested that these % core conditions$ ,as they are now known0 were sufficient to secure changes for a person. A great deal of research supports has proposition that these conditions are necessary, but few now support his contention that they are sufficient. Indeed, many researchers have been able to identify a number of other features which appear necessary for effective helping. 5ne particular researcher, 3obert Carkhuff, who is post 3ogerian identified three other commonly observed features of helping and has suggested that these features ! concreteness, immediacy and confrontation ! need also to be regarded as necessary basic conditions for helping. .. Concreteness The image the term %concreteness" creates in many people"s minds of a man or woman stuck in drying concrete is not the image Carkhuff intended to convey when he first used this term. It implies specificity ! the helper seeks to ensure that the person in need is being specific about the meaning they attach to the terms he or she uses to express ideas, images, thoughts or feelings and that their description of events is accurate. )eing concrete re uires the helper to ensure that the person in need is conveying the exact meaning of the situation which they are experiencing and their reactions to it. It involves the helper asking uestions such as& %&what do you mean by&?$ %&when you say you feel&can you be more specific about this feeling&?$ %&how do others react to you when you say you are feeling this way&?$ *or many kind of helpers ! most especially those concerned with advice giving and the offering of support ! the uality of concreteness is critical in determining the success of a helping relationship. Advice givers need to check that their understanding of the uestions asked of them matches that of the person they are advising' those seeking to facilitate some emotional release need to understand accurately the meanings of the emotional words used by the person' support givers need to understand in a definite sense how that person has come to see them as a source of support. 'o being concrete and specific is essential to the task of helping( 0. Immediac" Those in need spend a great deal of time describing to the helper some feature of their past or imagined future. *or example, an individual may focus on their past attempts to gain employment and talk typically of the feelings of re(ection and the conse uences of changing ,or not changing0 their behaviours for the future. 5ne task the helper has to encourage them to focus upon the immediate issue ! the "here and now". +hen a person in need is preoccupied with the past and the future, it is difficult for them to examine how they think and feel right now. All current behaviour becomes measured in terms of past and future. <escriptions of actual events become locked into past events and future hopes. Another way of describing immediacy is to say that it is a term used to describe spontaneous self!disclosure. The helper is seeking to encourage the person to be honest with themselves, to reflect upon their thoughts and feelings as they occur and to see the present ,the "here and now"0 as a meaningful focus for their thoughts and feelings.

Apart from encouraging spontaneous self!disclosure and enabling the person to improve social relationships, immediacy encourages the person and the helper to engage in open communication. *or if the person in need is being asked to be genuine, to share thoughts and feelings as they occur, and to explore openly and honestly with the helper the meaning that they give to the helping relationship, then a basis for open communication is being established. The helper needs to reciprocate on e ual terms, thus increasing the depth and intensity of the helping process. Immediacy is thus aided by the helper behaving in the same way that they ask the person in need to behave. 1. Confrontation %Confrontation" is not aggressive in its portrayal. It refers to the helper"s task of pointing out discrepancies between the helper"s view of the person in need and their own. Confrontation usually involves one or more of three types of discrepancy& <ifferences between the real and the ideal self of the person in need. <ifferences between what the person thinks and feels and what the person actually does. <ifferences between the real world as seen by the helper and the fantasy world as seen by the person in need. $elationships and 2o%er 4ifferential Counselling in any form is a very powerful dynamic. +hen the counsellor adopts the position from where they are giving advice, this can have the effect of disempowering the client and create an imbalance in the relationship. +hat needs to happen is that the counsellor works to empower the client and negate any power struggles. )undamentally we need to ask the *uestion + ,ho$s needs are being met? 5odel of helping# (n overvie% of a developmental model of helping ,Culley, S., -..H0 The model has a pre!helping phase and three stages& .. 're-helping or pre-communication phase ()ttending* "elper$s goal: -ttending # to attend to the other, to work with the other. 0. #tage %+ Responding,#elf e-ploration "elper$s goal: .esponding ! to respond to the client and what he has to say with respect and empathy' to establish rapport, an effective collaborative working relationship with the client' to facilitate the client"s self! exploration. Client$s goal: 'elf e!ploration ! to explore his experiences, behaviour, and feelings relevant to the problems in his life' to explore the ways in which he is living ineffectively. 1. Stage 0# Understanding64"namic self*understanding "elper$s goal: Integrative understanding ! the helper begins to piece together the data produced by the client in the self!exploration phase. The counsellor sees and helps the client identify behavioural themes or patterns. Client$s goal: /ynamic self#understanding ! developing self!understanding that sees the need for change, for action' learning from the helper the skill of putting together the larger picture' identifying resources and identifying unused personal resource. Stage 1# -acilitating action64ecision ma ing "elper$s goal: )acilitating action ! collaborating with the client in working out specific action programmes' helping the client to act on new understanding' exploring with the client a wide variety of means for engaging in constructive behavioural change' giving support and direction to action behaviour and decisions undertaken. Client$s goal: -cting ! living more effectively' learning the skills needed to live more effectively and handle the social!emotional dimensions of life' changing self!destructive and other!destructive patterns of living' developing new resources. &he 7alue of a 2erson Oriented Counselling (pproach A person or client centred orientation ensures that the professional counsellor will focus on the person and not the problems or issues presented. As the counsellor moves with the other through the helping process,

the problems might well change. <rinking might prove to be (ust a symptom, a person"s way of drowning a sense of inade uacy. The %presenting" problem is often not a problem at all. The client pushes a safe problem out front to see how the counsellor handles it. 5nly after trust has been established is he4she willing to discuss what really bothers him or her. Question? Is it possible to help a person you don$t like? .eality + -s counsellors we still work to %0ri1e the client$ Counselling S ills Overvie% &he 2re*helping phase This phase refers only to the counsellor and not to the person coming for help. =ain helping skill needed by the counsellor. (ttending The skills needed by the helper are summed up in one word attending. The helper by his very posture, must let the client know that he is %with" him, that during the time they are together he is completely %available" to him. This is physical attending. The helper listens attentively to the client. #e listens to both the verbal and the nonverbal messages of the person he is trying to help. 2erbal: he has to listen attentively to the words of the client, however confused they might be. 3onverbal: he has to listen to the messages that are carried in the client"s tone of voice, silences, pauses, gestures, facial expressions and posture. The basis for attending can be seen in basic communication skills breakdown

&he Silent 2o%er of ,od" Language

Tone of Aoice, HJK )ody Ganguage, //K

+ords, IK

Stage I# $esponding to client6client self*e3ploration The person presents for help4assistance4guidance. The helper first of all attends to what the client is saying' then responds in a way that helps the client explore his behaviour, feelings, attitudes, what he does, what he fails to do, what is constructive in his life, what is destructive, and so on. Counsellor focused skills -ccurate empathy 4basic empathy5: the helper responds to the client in a way that shows that he has listened and that he understands how the client feels and what he is saying about himself. It is not enough to understand' the understanding needs to be communicated. .espect: the way in which the counsellor deals with the client demonstrates to the client that they are respected. 6enuineness: The offer of help cannot be phony. It needs to be spontaneous, open and transparent. :enuineness is a vital skill to be portrayed to a client and is based on %humanness" ; i.e. be your own genuine self2 Concreteness: If and when the client rambles or evades real issues by speaking in general terms the helper grounds the helping process in concrete feelings and concrete behaviour. Client.s skills

'elf#e!ploration& The clients central task at this stage os to explore the feels and happenings and create a %context", this needs to be as concrete as possible and will gradually deepen as the person in need comes to trust the helper and his skills. Stage 0# Integrative understanding As the client goes through their story and all the emotions attached the counsellor facilitates the assimilation of the story in terms of context. Counsellor focused skills -ccurate 7mpathy: The counsellor communicates to the client an understanding, not only of what the client actually says but also of what is implied, what is hinted at, and what is said nonverbally. 'elf#disclosure: The counsellor is willing to share his own experience with the client if sharing it will actually help the client understand himself better. Immediacy: The counsellor is willing to explore his own relationship to the client ,%you!me" talk0, to explore the here!and!now of client!counsellor interactions ! only to the degree that it helps the client get a better understanding of herself, of her interpersonal style, and of how she is cooperating in the helping process. Confrontation: The counsellor challenges the discrepancies, distortions, games, and smokescreens in the client"s life and interactions within the helping relationship itself, to the degree that it helps the client develop the kind of self!understanding that leads to constructive behavioural change. Creating frames of reference: A counsellor would create the conditions through which a client can view their behaviour through an alternative frame of reference Client.s skills -ctive listening: #elps the client develop the skill of listening, both to what the helper himself is saying and to the environment outside the helping sessions themselves. 'elf#understanding: This is an absolute that the client can see where a behaviour change will leads to a positive or more rewarding outcome. Stage 1# -acilitating change Counsellor.s skills Collaboration around action:. The helper collaborates with the client in the elaboration of action programs. 'upport: As the client is moving through the process of action and change, the counsellor needs to support this dynamic. Client.s skills Cooperation: The client needs to cooperate with the counsellor and have an openness to change and process. .isk. The client learns how to take risks. #e learns that, paradoxically, it is %safe" to take risks. This means that he must first take small risks and be affirmed in success and helped to weather failure. Again, the helping process itself, from Stage I on, teaches the client how to take reasonable, measurable and perceptible risks. 8aking -ction. The client needs tit ability and resources to take action and instigate the change process.

&he Counselling 2rocess Introduction This section represents a model of counselling that is essentially skills!based. +hile theory provides counsellors with ideas and concepts, skills form the substance or reality of counselling. It is skills which enable each counsellor to put his or her particular theoretical perspective into operation. 2erson*Centred

1erson!centred counselling has its roots in the existential!humanistic tradition. At its core it is a relationship model. )y that I mean that it is the uality of the relationship which the counsellor creates with clients that is in itself healing or therapeutic. The view of what it means to be a human being espoused by person!centred counsellors is that each of us has the fundamental capacity to grow and to change. It is a positive view which holds that people, at their core, are good and, if given the right conditions, will strive both to take charge of their lives and ultimately to self!actualise. &he value of the therapeutic alliance &herapeutic alliance In psychoanalysis, the implicit cooperative compact between an analyst and a patient whereby the analyst undertakes to offer interpretations and the patient undertakes to obey the fundamental rule of psychoanalysis and to try to understand the analyst@s interpretations. There would be a direct link empirically between the therapeutic relationship and positive outcome associated with counselling. (N IN&EG$(&E4 COUNSELLING S8ILLS 5O4EL &!E ,EGINNING S&(GE $stablish a working relationship Clarify and define problems Assessment 9egotiate a contract $xploration 1rioritising Communicating core values &!E 5I44LE S&(GE 3eassess problems =aintain the working relationship +ork to the contract &!E EN4ING S&(GE

)ims

<ecide on change Implement change Transfer learning $nd the counselling relationship :oal!setting Action planning $valuating action and sustaining change Closure

#trategies

/oundation skills

Attending 5bserving clients Active Gistening 3eflective skills 1robing skills )eing concrete

Challenge client& Confrontation *eedback 1rovide information :ive directives Self disclosure Immediacy Active listening 3eflective and probing skills

Active listening Challenging

&he ,eginning Stage .. (ims Working relationship& The fundamental important aim of this stage is establishing a "working relationship" with clients. Clarifying and defining concerns: This means that the issues brought by clearly as possible by both client and counsellor. clients are understood as

0aking assessments: The process of making assessments is an important aspect of both the beginning and subse uent stages of counselling. Assessment involves using theoretical frameworks to develop hypotheses about clients and their concerns, and make tentative plans for the counselling work. Also known as case conceptualisation. Contracting: $stablishes the initial boundaries to the counselling relationship 0. Strategies E-ploration& This involves enabling clients to examine their behaviour, articulate their thoughts and express their feelings in order to gain greater understanding both of themselves and their concerns.

#owever, during initial contact, counsellors typically focus on what clients are expressing explicitly. In order to enable clients to reassess their concerns, counsellors encourage a shift in focus to what is implicit or %below the surface". It is the move from what clients are openly stating to the hidden messages which gives exploration deeper and more intense uality. *undamentally counsellors are concerned with extrapolating the implicit meanings. 8his would not be an effective interchange Counsellor ; #ow has your week been> Client ; +ell2 Gife could have been better. Counsellor ; So your life isn"t going too well Client ; 9ot really, things are getting me down. 8his would be more effective Counsellor ; #ow has your week been> Client ! +ell, it could have been better Counsellor ; +hat particularly has gone wrong> Client ; +ell, looking for work really, I have had a lot of re(ection this week 'rioritising and focusing& This means deciding with clients both in what order they will tackle their concerns and what the focus will be. This is also akin to the start of the goal setting process. Communicating core values& This means demonstrating both acceptance and understanding of clients& Acceptance means valuing clients because they are human, respecting their uni ueness and their ability for self!determination. This is achieved by the counsellor remaining congruent to the client regardless of client state $mphatic understanding means the ability to understand clients" perspectives on their concerns, to see clients" worlds as they see them. It does not mean counsellors acknowledging to themselves how they would react in their client"s place, and using those insights to inform their practice. 1. S ills Get us look first at attending and listening. Although I will discuss them separately, these skills are interdependent. Counsellors will not be attending fully to clients if they do not listen to them, and conversely attending fully puts counsellors in a good position to listen to clients. )ttending& Lou will need to demonstrate by your non!verbal behaviour that clients have your undivided attention and that you are %with them". :ood attention is conveyed by sustaining eye contact, sitting with an %open" posture, putting your chairs at an appropriate distance, making sure they are of e ual height and comfort and being aware of what your facial expression is communicating. 1istening& Clearly, listening is essential to counselling, as well as being one of the finest acknowledgements you can give clients. Gistening is a complex skill, involving attending, hearing and understanding the information which clients convey both verbally and non!verbally. ,hat do we listen for? $xperiences )ehaviour& *eelings Thoughts ,hat can affect our ability to listen? Cultural bias :ender bias 1reoccupation with self 5ur issues Reflective skills& 3eflective skills are those which enable you to focus primarily on the client"s perspective or frame of reference. The reflective skills are& Restating what you believe to be a significant word or phrase which the client used Client: I felt really depressed Counsellor: 4restating5 <epressed ,emotionally loaded word0 Client: Les, I can"t remember feeling so depressed before, so low

'araphrasing involves expressing in your own words clients" core messages. Lou may focus on the content or the feelings Client: 4with an angry tone5 I suppose I felt irritated when she asked me to lend her the car. Counsellor: Lou felt annoyed when she asked you and didn"t want her to think you didn"t want to. #ummarising is a way of offering clients a summary of the information they have given you. A summary is essentially a longer paraphrase and should not be given as a list of facts but as an organised overview of important themes or clusters of concerns.

'robing skills& 1robing skills express the counsellor"s perspective or e!ternal frame of reference. +hen you probe, you will usually be following your agenda and focusing on aspects which you believe are important. At times, you will want to influence the direction of the exploration and probing will enable you to do this. 1robes are interventions which increase counsellor control and their overuse may invite clients into passivity. *or these reasons, they should be used sparingly, particularly in the early stages of counselling. The probing skills are& 2uestioning: The most useful forms of uestions are called open uestions. They begin with %what", %when" or %where". %Closed 3uestions$ are those which encourage a %yes4no" answer, for example& %<o you love your (ob>", %#ave you talked to your daughters>". 5veruse of %closed" uestions is inhibiting for clients and may set up a pattern of uestion and answer which is hard to break. %1eading 3uestions$ are those that communicate to clients that they are expected to give a particular answer. As the label suggests, these uestions both lead clients and impose counsellor"s values. 6I don"t think what others think is important, do you>8 %Either,&r 3uestions$ are generally restrictive and leading because they offer options which the counsellor has chosen. *or example& 6#ave you told your wife how you feel or are you keeping your feelings to yourself>8 0aking statements is another way of probing. Statements are softer probes and tend to be less intrusive than uestions. *or example, instead of asking a client 6+hat did you say when she asked you to leave>8 you might say 6I"m not sure how you replied when she asked you to leave>8. They are especially useful for focusing clients on their own behaviour, thoughts and feelings. *or example& 6I have a clear picture of your partner"s reservations, what I"m less clear about is what you think.8

eing concrete& If clients are to make changes in their lives, they will first need specific information about what they are doing now, and in what ways that is unhelpful or destructive both for them and others. 5ne of the ways you can invite a more specific description from clients is to ask for or offer a concrete example. *or example& "If you were being more open, what would you be doing that you"re not doing now>" 4counsellor asks a hypothetical *uestion to invite a concrete description5 or "+ould sharing your feelings with your partner be an example of you being more open>" 4Counsellor offers a concrete e!ample5. This is a particularly useful skill in forming contracts where you will be helping clients to focus on the outcomes they want from counselling. #kills se3uence for e-ploration $ffective counsellors use a good mix of both reflective and probing skills. A useful se uence for exploration is to paraphrase before asking a uestion or making a statement. This has the effect of showing acceptance and understanding of what clients have said before moving on. &he 5iddle Stage .. (ims The focus of the counselling work changes in the middle stage. Lour aim is to help clients to gain the sort of new understanding crucial for making changes. The middle stage has three aims. Reassessment& This involves helping clients to understand themselves and their concerns from a different and more liberating perspective. A metaphor used for describing reassessment is that of taking a familiar route by car and instead of driving, being the passenger. *reed from the responsibility of driving, you are likely to discover aspects of the scenery that you had not noticed before. 9ow that you have noticed them, you will not overlook them in the future, even when driving. 0aintenance of the working relationship& 3eassessment is often painful for clients and it is important that you are experienced by them as acting in their best interest. A secure relationship, based on the core values

of acceptance, genuineness and understanding, will be significant in enabling them to examine their beliefs, feelings and behaviour at a deeper level. Working to the contract& The contract agrees the boundaries of the work and the outcomes clients want to achieve. 0. Strategies Challenging: %Challenging" is the generic term used for the following group of strategies which encourage clients to the kind of deeper exploration essential to reviewing their perspectives on their concerns. $ach strategy has a particular focus. +e will describe each of them. Confrontation& Lou will use confrontation when you want to enable clients to face and to explore the distortions or discrepancies which they employ to inhibit change. <iscrepancies may be between& what clients say they want and what they are doing to get it' clients" views of themselves and how others view them' clients" verbal and non!verbal behaviour. 4iving feedback& This involves letting clients know how you experienced them in their interaction with you. :iving feedback to clients means offering them another different and more objective view of themselves. #earing how another person experiences them is a challenge to clients" current self!understanding. The outcome is that clients will begin to explore and to modify the ways in which they see themselves. 4iving information& This is similar to giving feedback and involves providing clients with specific information about an aspect of their problems. Information challenges clients because, used appropriately, it invariably prompts them to take a different perspective on themselves and their concerns. 4iving directives& As the label suggests, "giving directives" is the strategy whereby the counsellor assumes greater control of the process. This is a powerful strategy most appropriately used when the relationship between counsellor and client has developed into a robust and secure one. Some directives you may want to give are, for example, "Stay with what you"re feeling now", or "1ut some words to the feeling". Counsellor self-disclosure& This strategy involves counsellors sharing something of their own experiences with clients. Self!disclosure challenges clients because it invites them to explore their own material in the light of another"s and from there to begin to form different perspectives. *or example, describing your thoughts and feelings about the time when you failed to obtain a (ob to a client whose (ob is redundant is likely to antagonise rather than encourage. %mmediacy& +hat is going on "here and now" in the counselling relationship is the focus of immediacy. Lou may use this strategy to explore either what is happening "now" with a client or the relationship patterns you think are emerging. &he Ending Stage The $nding Stage typically has to do with planning for and taking effective action. .. (ims Deciding on change& If clients are to make changes, then they will need to know what changes are possible and what particular outcomes they want. %mplementing change& Changing involves taking some action' it means doing some things and stopping doing others. Clients may need help in both choosing what action to take and acting. !ransferring learning& +hat clients learn in counselling about themselves and the different options open to them will need to be transferred to their life outside the counselling room ! for counselling to work. Ending the counselling relationship& The counselling relationship will have been a very important relationship for most clients. *or many it is the first time they have experienced so much genuine interest from another, been challenged constructively and supported while they struggle with their difficulties. 0. Strategies

4oal-setting: As a result of the reassessment of the =iddle Stage, clients will be changed!oriented. #owever, they will still need to decide precisely what outcomes they want. :oal setting provides a valuable framework for both identifying and assessing change. )ction planning' Must as there is usually more than one way of managing a problem, so there are different ways that clients can achieve their goals. Evaluating& Any action that clients take needs to be evaluated. The important uestion for clients is, "Is this action helping me to obtain the outcomes I want>" Ending& *rom the beginning of counselling the end is in sight. The counsellor or helper will have been working towards the time when clients leaves, having made some of the changes they sought. $ndings will usually occur when clients have fulfilled their contracts. Clients may have experiences of endings, which are painful, and ending with you may be evocative of those times.