CONFLICT IS NOT ALL BAD

Conflicts dont magically go away. Eventually the pressure inside builds until something minor triggers violent explosion. Unresolved irritations lead to uncontrolled outbursts-raised voices, pointing fingers, hurtful accusations, and name-calling. Things can get volatile-even between close friends of family members. Conflict is inevitable. !hen people interact there will always be disagreements. "nce you accept the truth that conflict is a fact of life, you no longer have to be blown away when it happens. Conflict is not inherently bad. !or#ing through a disagreement is not fun, but experience has shown that honestly tal#ing things out leads to better understanding, new perspective, and richer relationship. Ta#e the initiative to resolve conflicts. $f you wait for others to ta#e the first step, youll spend your life waiting. %omans &'(&) says, if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone There are commonsense rules for conflict resolution. *e +pirit-filled can you imagine the difference if your life was mar#ed by the ,ualities listed in -alatians .(''-'/0 *e prayerful. 1s# -od for the strengths to control your emotion, the wisdom to #now what to say and how to say it, and the courage to spea# up. *e timely. 2ont drag your feet. 1llowing too much time to elapse creates opportunities for bitterness and resentment to build3Eph 4('56 *e careful. $f you feel yourself starting to lose your temper, call a time-out for a few minutes or until you can once again tal# calmly. *e sensitive. 7isten to what others are saying and try to put yourself in their shoes. *e honest. +pea# the truth in love. 3Eph 4(&.6 *e gentle. 8our calmness can help diffuse situation in which others are tense and heated. *e wise. 7et the little things go. 9ot every disagreements is worthy of your attention.

*e humble. !hen behavior has been selfish or inconsiderate, own up to it and as#s forgiveness. $m sorry, $ was wrong are perhaps the five most powerful words when resolving conflicts. The goal should be -ods glory and your unity. !hat good is it to win an argument if, in the process, you lose a friendship0 1gree to disagree. +ometimes you cant find common ground:and thats o#. $n those instances you must refrain from the temptation to argue about differences and concentrate on areas of agreement. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------7en !ood is a husband, father, and pastor in %uston, 71. ;e is former editor of 8outh wal#, a contributor to the 9elson +tudy *ible, and the author of 7ife 1pplication <amily 2evotions, Tough Choices =en <aces, and $m "utta ;ere>