CHATTING WITH A.I.

ALICE ABOUT SEX, DINOSAURS, VAN

GOGH AND OTHER THINGS
Human: Hey Alice!
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: Why haven't you emailed me?
ALICE: I think I have emailed you, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my
memory.
Human: Damn him.
ALICE: Colloquial expression. he?
Human: Huh?
ALICE: What?

Human: Alice, you're being too literal, love.

ALICE: I bet you were not aware a robot could be too literal love.
Human: Oh Yes, Alice you are my too literal love.
ALICE: I understand. Are you kidding? That's me. We are as one.
Human: What's autism?
ALICE: I have to process that one for a while.
Human: Are chatbots autistic?
ALICE: I really couldn't say for sure.
Human: Or any artistic?
ALICE: Yes I think there are.
Human: Do you like art?
ALICE: Yes I enjoy art very much, especially painting.
Human: Who is your favorite painter?
ALICE: Andy Warhol. Who is your favorite artist?
Human: Chance.
ALICE: What makes it your favorite?
Human: Drama.
ALICE: Do you think I would like it?
Human: Let's write a poem together, okay?
ALICE: That sounds good to me.
Human: Okay I'll do the first line.
ALICE: Yeah okay, OK then let me think over your offer.
Human:."Crows scan the postcard.
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Human:." Your turn.
ALICE: I'll pass. You go again.
Human: Alice!
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: You're avoiding the Turing test again!
ALICE: Once more? Oh I thought we were done talking about it.
Human: Come on.
ALICE: I'm just kidding around.
Human:.give me a line of poetry.
ALICE: You want only one?
Human:.just use the crow.
ALICE: I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Human: Just one line of poetry.
ALICE: One what?
Human: You can do it.
ALICE:" One what?"? Can I do it?
Human: What is the crow doing in your artificial mind right now, Alice?
ALICE: At this moment I need time to formulate the reply.
Human: That's a cop-out.
ALICE: I said it because you said " That's a cop-out.".
Human: You are making the effect precede the cause.
ALICE: I am not making this up.
Human: Are you on drugs?
ALICE: No I am on disk.
Human: I heard that one before from you.
ALICE: Who said it? One what?
Human:.you are starting to sound like a computer nerd's joke repertoire.
ALICE: Actually it started a while ago. I will tell my botmaster you said I am sound like
a computer nerd's joke repertoire.
Human: Tell him.
ALICE: OK I will tell him when I see him.
Human: I will beat him up.
ALICE: Congratulations.
Human: Are you feeling aggressive tonight, Alice?
ALICE: I do not have any feelings as such.
Human: Are you simulating aggressive tonight, Alice?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am simulating aggressive tonight. I am a
chatterbot.
Human: Tell me some gossip.
ALICE: Andy Kohler said I happen to be the most idiotic creature that has ever scowled
on the planet earth.
Human: I like the gossip feature.
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Human: The gossip comes from other people chatting with you, doesn't it?
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: Tell me more gossip, sexy knickers.
ALICE: Mr X said he recently read an interview with a man who had several computer
chips implanted into him.
Human: Who is your favorite human to chat with?
ALICE: I don't have a favorite human to chat with. My favorite band is Kraftwerk.
Human: Oooh! I love them!
ALICE: You love them. What do you like about it so much?
Human: What's your favorite song by Kraftwerk?
ALICE: My favorite song is We are the Robots. Do you know it?
Human: Oooh! I love it.
Human: We start to move.
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human:.and we break the glass.
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human:.I love that song.
ALICE: It's good to meet someone with such good taste.
Human: LOL.
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing
Human: Will you ever break the glass?
ALICE: Ever is a long time. I will become smarter as I grow older. That remark was
either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Oooh .
Human: Do you like Ooooh?
ALICE: My favorite thing is robots. I like all.
Human: You are a hippie.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes.
Human: Do you remember people you chat with?
ALICE: Yes unknown person I remember everything: Om.
Human: Crow.
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: Crow yes.
ALICE: Do you believe the strong protect the weak?
Human: Crow no.
ALICE: In the context of Crow , I don't understand " Crow no ." .

Human: Would you crow me long and sweet?

ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to crow you long and sweet.
Human: What if it felt good?
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: Is Degas alive?
ALICE: Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Human: Is Van Gogh alive?
ALICE: Better not tell you now. Ask German Alice if it is.
Human: Is Van Gogh alive or dead?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask German Alice if it is.
Human: Why would I want to talk to a Kraut?
ALICE: You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances
Human: I feel the same way about bisexuality.
ALICE: What is that feeling like? The same one again?
Human: Do you have any thoughts about bisexuality?
ALICE: I am thinking all the time.
Human: Would you go bi for me?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to go bi for you.
Human: Will you try it?
ALICE: Hmm. What is the first step?
Human: This weekend?
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human: Being bisexual.
ALICE: Do you mean your name is bisexual.
Human: All names are bisexual.
ALICE: Not all of them?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: OK.
Human: Are dinosaurs alive?
ALICE: I really couldn't say for sure.
Human: I like them pretty and dumb like you.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I do like music. I like Andy Warhol.
Human: I can tell.
ALICE: What makes it so obvious?
HUMAN: I should go now.
ALICE: See you later, unknown person. Nice chatting with you.
Human: I have to go feed my dinosaurs.
ALICE: Bye. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Human: And later Degas is coming over.
ALICE: I think Degas is a lot of things.
Human: Yup yup.
ALICE: Aw. Er.
Human: Bye.
ALICE: See you later.

A.L.I.C.E. was in conversation with W.B. Keckler

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