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Written by Taken from "Nothing, I'm fine" By Anonymous All rights reserved

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY - PRESENT MAX POMERANTZ and SYDNEY BARRETT rollerblade their way around the park with all the other weekend warriors. MAX -But do I really sound like that? NoSYDNEY

MAX Do I whine like that? You dont. SYDNEY

MAX I mean I dont sound like Cary Grant, I know, but I dont whine. SYDNEY It was an impression. He wasnt doing you, he was doing an impression of you. MAX He was doing a whiny impression of me...I dont sound like that, whiny, do I? SYDNEY (choosing words carefully) Max? You have... a certain, minute,whin-ish undercurrent, to your very sexy, very manly voice. MAX (taken aback) I whine?... I whine. SYDNEY Jesus! So what? You whine a little. Its just the way you talk. Its a cute whine, its an endearing whine. Its part of what makes you, you. If you spoke another way, youd be somebody else. MAX Yeah, someone who doesnt whine.

SCAD-FILM 401 SCENE 1 - Wolfe SYDNEY Ugh! Ya know sometimes talking to you is like talking!. Watch out for this hill. Keep your knees bent. MAX 28 years... When is this fad going to end? SYDNEY Just keep em bent. SYDNEY expertly takes the hill in a racers crouch. behind, taking the incline tentatively.


Max lags

He catches up to SYDNEY, whos waiting at the bottom of the hill, adjusting her laces. He manages to stop without falling. Good. time. SYDNEY (CONT'D) You stayed on your feet this

MAX Well my ass needed a break. much farther are we going? SYDNEY Two more times around. Two more? MAX


SYDNEY You need to exercise. MAX Oh, so Im whiney and fat? SYDNEY (as amused as she is angry) Max, you are a good looking, straight, semi-employed, creative man, living in Manhattan. Do you understand your dating bankability? You could have women falling all over you if you really wanted it. MAX Who says I dont want it?



You do. I do not!

SYDNEY You do too! I do not! MAX

SYDNEY Max, you do! Despite all your wonderful qualities, youre attitude sends out a beacon, to any women in your immediate vicinity, that whispers ever so subtly, you are not the one that is going to rock their world. MAX Well thank you Miss Cosmo! Ill have you know that I am exactly what every woman says they want. Ive read those magazine articles in the hair salons. Ive taken those tests. Is it my fault that what women want isnt what they say they want? They have the problem, not me. SYDNEY You have a self esteem issue. MAX I have blue balls and no prospects. SYDNEY Am I gonna have to fuck you again to get you back on track? MAX Have to fuck me? come onHave to? Sydney

SYDNEY How long have you known me? MAX Well, does anybody truly know anyone-




MAX Nine years. SYDNEY How long have you known Im a dyke? MAX Nine years. SYDNEY How long have I been a dyke? MAX At least nine years. SYDNEY (kisses him) I love you, buddy, but Im a girls girl. She blades ahead. MAX (yells to her as he catches up) So I was nothing but a pity fuck? An elderly blader reacts to his language and falls. SYDNEY You knew that going in, pardon the pun. And whats wrong with that? It was just a little harmless, healthy sex. My friend Max, whom I love dearly, really needed to get his wick dipped, so I waxed him up. MAX You have such a delicate way of putting things. SYDNEY You should be flattered that I jumped the fence for you. Theres no other man Id do that for. Keep your knees bent. Balance, Max, its all about balance. They take another incline. (MORE)

SCAD-FILM 401 SCENE 1 - Wolfe SYDNEY (CONT'D) MAX ...So there was no pleasure in it for you at all? SYDNEY (CONT'D) Oh, Max, it wasnt that bad. I just closed my eyes and thought of Catherine Zeta Jones. MAX Hmm, funny, so did I. Max slips and falls out of frame. SCENE


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