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Twenty 1 Student Twenty J.

Stanko English 101 10, July 2013 The Shocking Reality of Marriage Day to day couples determine the outcome of their marriages; they test each others boundaries and emotions. In Will Your Marriage Last? Aviva Patz attends a seminar, led by Ted Huston, which declares the three sources of divorce: respect, storybook romance, and longevity of the relationship. Throughout this article Aviva refers back to her own divorce and her current marriage. Differentiating between the good and bad of a relationship, Huston reveals the secrets to discovering early on whether a marriage will succeed or end in divorce. Respect and understanding are key elements to a healthy marriage. Marriage is a partnership; to be successful the couple has to understand each other and listen to what the other persons ideas are. Without cooperation there is a lack of partnership in the marriage which can lead to arguments furthering deep into divorce. Huston provides knowledge and proof of this through his Pair Project. He states that couples who cannot communicate well with each other tend to become on edge. Going through life struggles together requires the couple to listen to one another to overcome the hardships life presents. Collaboration between the pair bonds them not only as a married couple but dealing with lifes difficulties together. Huston also states that storybook romance is a downfall for marriages. One may look at movies or novels and wish their life was similar to that of a love story. The couple may think

Twenty 2 highly of always spending time together and being dependent on each other in everyday life. However, the more romantic a couple is the first few years of marriage, the harder it is to keep that same romance over time. The love bird lifestyle of a couple after marriage will change; they are constantly busy at work and in the home. The same intensity that was once there diminishes, making it hard for the pair to remain at the same romance level they were when they first got married. Marriages that are distant in the newly wed stage are less likely to divorce later in life because they never had the romantic relationship to begin with. Instead of bonds failing due to conflict, the loss of love deteriorates the relationship. Dwindling levels of affection in a relationship cause it to erode to divorce. The desire and passion must remain parallel to that of when the couple first got married for the marriage to be successful. The longevity of the relationship prior to engagement determines whether or not a marriage will flourish. With short-term relationships the two cannot picture their life deep into the future. Imagining living together and someday having children is not expressed between short-term dating couples. Disillusionment grants the couple to see flaws and disparities between them that they did not notice at first. When a couple dates for a short period of time they only focus on the love and passion they feel rather than noticing imperfections between them. Long-term relationships provide the couple with an understanding of each others life plans, goals, and values. Those who date over a long period of time are comfortable and do not have expectations their partner cannot provide for them. Marriages differ from each other in many types of ways. Whether the partners have dated for years or months or agree or disagree, the outcome of a marriage has many different factors depending on it. Respect, romance, and the longevity of a relationship are all factors of marriage. Keeping a twenty year marriage comparable to the honey moon stage is important in

Twenty3 upholding a steady relationship. It depends on the couple and their personalities that determines whether their marriage is healthy, loving, and prosperous.