Dear Martians!

July 25, 2009

Dear Martians, errr... Aliens... Hail... whatever.

Greetings from us earthlings, yes, the people on planet earth. We've been looking for
signs of your existence for decades and are seeking contact with you, and I just wanted
to send you this message, in case you're out there, because I want at least someone to
be honest with you and let you know that we may not be just as wonderful as we portray
ourselves to be.

You see, I find it a bit hypocritical of us to be seeking contact with you, some possibly
existing higher intelligence & more developed or "evolved" species, and pretend how
nice we are, when communications are pretty lousy here, among ourselves.

Our favorite means of communications, and the one we invest most of our resources in,
in fact, what we call the best and most "booming business", is weapons. It all started
with clubs and sticks thousands of years ago, then swords and catapults to hurl rocks at
each other's castles, but we've become way more sophisticated in our modern means of
"communications" since then.

Nowadays, if we don't like someone, or say, a whole country, we don't even have to go
there ourselves anymore to eliminate them, but we can send them our greetings and
messages via remote controled drones (small airplanes, which are like toy versions of
your space ships). The "message" usually consists of some bombs or missiles that are
being shot at "suspicious" gatherings of people, such as weddings (a human mating
ritual), etc.

The leaders of our nations then pay 2000 Dollars for every child they sent their greetings
to, which basically says, "Be removed from this earth" to their relatives, the ones who
didn't get a message yet.

Dollars are pieces of paper with numbers on. They are our second favorite means of
communication. We give them to each other in exchange for things, like weapons (our
favorite means of communication as I explained earlier), food, houses, cars (a primitive
means of transportation), but also airplanes, TVs (a one-way communication device our
leaders use to keep us happy and tranquilized), along with things that will makes us stay
happy and content, like alcohol and drugs, or even physical affection from other humans.

Of course, we also have other means of communication that we use for exchange of
words, but usually they're not really used to communicate anything essential or
important, just to keep us busy chatting and ignoring certain things, like the decreasing
value of our dollars, or the wedding message drones, or the fact that we only sell food to
special people.
The others have to die a slow, cruel death of starvation, even though there would be
plenty of dollars to feed them.
But the people with all the dollars and wedding message drones think that if we feed
them, there won't be enough left for themselves.

So, dear aliens, this is just to let you know that I don't think that our planet earth would
be a very safe place for you to come right now.

If we're already being this mean to each other, you can only imagine what we might do
to you, unless, of course, you would turn out to be way stronger than us...

If we should have aroused your curiosity, though, maybe you could pay us a visit in
secret, and we can tell you some more about our strange race.
I also have a few pretty cool friends who wouldn't turn you in or sell you over to the
weapons and dollars people.

There once used to live a Man on our planet Who was quite different from the way most
people are today, and instead of messages that said "Be removed from this earth," He
gave a message of love, and allowed Himself to be removed for us. His name was
Jesus. He said He would come back some day to pick us all up to a better Home, a City
in the sky that's quite big.

Anyway, maybe you can come visit us when Jesus is back, in our new heavenly Home,
and when the earth will be all cleaned up from weapons and dollars and stuff, and there
will be no more wedding drone messages, and all the people will be given enough food.

In the meantime, I wish you all the best in your endeavor of exploring the more primitive
species in the universe like us, and hope for all of us that Jesus is going to come back
soon so that we're going to be a nicer people to meet, when you'll finally get to know us.

"God bless you," as some people say down here, that means, may the Creator of the
universe be good to you, and may He keep you from bad people and wedding message
drones, dollars and starvation.

Hope to see you soon.

Sincerely,

yours,

Dave