Assalamu Alaikom Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh!!! Heres my story of how I found Islam & how I became a Muslim?

Life is a journey and a major part of it is the search for the truth. I was brought up in Christian family, studied in a Catholic school and from a place where a lot of people visit for pilgrimage. When I was still in the Philippines, I have few questions which keeps me thinking and wondering where I can get the answers. Simple questions like in which religion can I pray at home, which religion does not embalm a dead person, which religion is it possible not to change the last name for females when already married? I can still remember that my mother used to wake me up to attend the Sunday mass and that I am also one of those people who is excited to attend the mass when I have a new clothes and sad to know also that the church is a place to show off. Sometimes, I am feeling lazy to go out especially if its raining or if I prefer to sleep and would ask my mother, Do I really need to go to t he church to pray and she said yes. Whenever theres a dead person, normally he will be embalmed and dressed him/her the best clothes and my point is why do they need to do all of this where in fact he/she will be rotten. I always ask my mother and the usual reply is because he/she is dearly loved by the family. And the main confusion that I have is the belief in God the Father, God the Son & The Holy Spirit. The question that I have in mind is who among the three is the most powerful and the real one and how can there be three Gods? When I ask my mom, her usual response is there are Three and they are equal. Since I am raised up and surrounded by Christians that belief is widely accepted, that confusion is not cleared at all. Activities like praying the Holy Rosary, memorizing the formula prayers, attending Sunday masses are easy. Time flies so fast until I graduated and has to continue the journey. I talked to my family and told them of my plan of visiting UAE and to find a job if given the chance as a stepping stone only because its my dream to be in Canada. Being the youngest in the family, it was not easy for them to allow me to be away from them, but Alhamdulilah they have given me their consent but with the condition that whatever happened I will not change my religion or simply not to become a Muslim because for them Muslims are bad and have bad reputation. Of course I agreed, because I do not know anything regarding Islam and the Muslims plus the excitement and the curiosity to live alone and away from my loved ones. It was in 2005 when I first came to UAE. I appreciated UAE very much because it is a very peaceful country. I observed during Fridays how these Muslims pray during Jumaah and how they are rushing in the masjid and even outside, I saw people praying. Even on an ordinary day, when they hear the Adhan, most are heading to the masjid. I was really amazed. These observations, the discipline and the commitment they have to fulfill their obligation towards religion have changed my impression regarding Muslims. First year in UAE was exciting.almost every night hanging out with friends and during days off outing with friends. All I thought that enjoyment will last. One day, I found out that I am not going to church anymore & sometimes I dont pray. My way of life has totally

changed. My usual reason is I dont have time despite of the constant reminders of my family back home. After few months, those questions that I have came into my mind again. Lots of sleepless nights, lot of time pondering as to where I can find the answer. I knew and I am sure that God is great and will help me find the answers. The search is not easy as I was staying with Christian friends and everybody is busy with work. Allah is really great that I have a Muslim friend who always refuses our invitation in attending some parties and I am very curious regarding his reasons. I started asking my Muslim friend why is it that every time we are inviting you for party/going to bar, the answer is NO. I remember him saying I am afraid of Allah that when he will take me back, I am inside the bar. I was shocked with his answer. From that time on, he started explaining regarding Islam & some of its rules. I also asked him by chance my questions and had given me the answers. I was really surprised that everything is in Islam. Alhamdulilah, I found the answers. From then, I became interested in Islam but it took me some time before I revert because of the promise I have made with my family and I do not want them to get angry with me and I know for sure that it will not be easy and adjustments will be hard and am not prepared as well. What I did is I started reading some books and continued learning but there is emptiness and I dont have peace of mind. Until one day I felt that I am only wasting time my time and I need to do something for myself. Then, I called my friend and informed that I wanted to embrace Islam. My friend brought me to the Imam in Ajman. After accepting Islam, I cant explain the happiness. Becoming a Muslim is one of the best things that happened in my life. I felt my life is having direction. I felt blessed and guided. Imagine, its so easy to memorize the Arabic prayer which is not my mother tongue. Subhan Allah!!! Performing the prayers on time is a big achievement as well and I am so happy about it. My life became simpler; I dont look forward for Thursday & Friday nights anymore for party. I am contented attending the Friday classes at the center. I knew I found the right religion because I have peace of mind already, Alhamdulilah!!! But life is so tough as well. I am like a newly born that needs nourishment in order to grow; to grow in the sense for my faith to be strong. I decided not to apply to Canada also because I know I cant practice my religion there compared here in UAE. Trials, hardships, problems keep coming on the way but these are just tests from Allah. My only outlet is to cry and pray to Allah. Lots of embarrassing moments like I was asked how much money did I receive/ how much did they pay me after reverting and I felt so bad. What makes it even worse is that a Muslim which is considered to be my brother/sister asked me that question. I did not wear hijab for two months after embracing. Rumors & gossips started here and there when I started wearing my hijab. When my friends knew about me being reverted, the relationship changed. They did not bother to ask what happened but instead they

judged me that I am getting married to one Muslim guy. I have to leave them and started a new life to other emirates. It was hard because everything is new, new job, new people around me, new place. The only friend during those times that I have is this Muslim friend who proposed for marriage but I politely decline it as it was not a priority despite of that we remained good friends until now. One of the unforgettable experiences that I have was searching for accommodation. As a bedspacer, of course I wanted to stay with my compatriots but once I informed the landlady that I am a Muslimah, I am rejected for several times and it was very hard to find a bedspace for me. When I finally found a space, the problem is with my flatmates. Nobody liked me and each is trying to fight against me and making different stories about me. How they wished that I will leave the place. Every now and then, I have to shift. At workplace, I am discriminated especially by my co-Filipino workers, especially. Each has tailored story regarding me. The dealing of my direct supervisor who happened to be a Filipino also changed and most of the staff in the Head Office. They keep an eye against me. My supervisor became too strict and even if its his fault, he always puts the blame on me and shouts at me most of the time in front of the other staff. I knew they dont like what I did and they are laughing at my back. Their thinking is because I am a Muslimah, I will be the favorite of the General Manager and they are afraid about it. I did not mind them but instead I cried and prayed much to Allah to give me more patience, strengthen my faith and to guide me always. Alhamdulilah, Allah heard my prayers, my direct supervisor left the company. I am relieved and after sometime, I gained also the sympathy of my colleagues and I became good friends with them until today. I With regards to my family, I did not tell them right away because I dont like them to think especially my mother, my best friend whom I loved so much. The worst scenario that happened between us was on a New Years Eve when I heard my mother crying over the phone and asking my confirmation if I had really embraced Islam. I did not admit at first but I tried to inform her gradually until such time I revealed her everything. She was speechless. She told me not to talk to her. But I did not give up on my mother. I know if shes hurt, time will heal and she will accept me. My sister who is a nun was very sad as well. They are not happy with me being a Muslim; they felt so bad about it. Until today, I can feel their disappointments. Sometimes, I receive messages from my sister that shes not happy with what I did, she feels worried about me. Well, I always reply her not to worry because I am ok and theres nothing to be worried about me because Allah is always there for me. I strongly believe, they will accept me wholeheartedly In sha Allh!! What I am praying and asking to Allah is to guide my family to Islam because Whoever Allah guides, nobody can misguide and whoever Allah misguides nobody can guide.

Yours Sincerely,

Maryam Manguba