A d d e r a l lI n f u s e dN e s q u i kb yJ o s h u aE l u l

A d d e r a l lI n f u s e dN e s q u i k
b yJ o s h u aE l u l

T i r e do fh i sa p a t h e t i ca t t i t u d et o w a r d sl i f e a n dh i si n a b i l i t yt ou n d e r s t a n ds i g n i f i c a n c e o fe v e n t s ,am e n t a l l yu n s t a b l ea m a t e u r j o u r n a l i s t ,w i t ht h eh e l po faf r i e n dh e f i n d su t t e r l ya n n o y i n g ,a t t e m p t st od oa s t o r yo nN e o n a z i si no r d e rt ob ea f f e c t e db y s o m e t h i n gi nr e a l i t y . W r i t t e nf r o mh i sp o i n to fv i e w ,h i sm i s s i n g d e t a i l sa n dc o n f l i c t i n gn a r r a t i v el e a v e su s w i t ho n l yp u z z l ep i e c e so ft h i ss t o r y .A s t o r yc a p t u r i n ga ni n c r e d i b l ew a ri n A m e r i c a sv i o l e n tu n d e r g r o u n dw h e r et h e c o n c e p t so fn o b i l i t ya n dg r e e da r e i n t e r p r e t e di ns t r i k i n g l yo f f e n s i v ew a y s .
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Chapter II Ebonics, Antisemitism, and Oxford Commas.

I love bananas. In the first chapter you may have picked up on that, but I need to reiterate that fact for the following story. I love bananas, a lot. But there are those times in which bananas just dont satisfy my cravings. In instances such as those, I find myself turning to a nice glass of milk flavored with strawberry Nesquik. Like a goddamn war hero. So imagine how I must of felt when I stumbled upon a Young Turks news story about how a seventeen year old girl died when she overdosed on adderall. She was taking too many classes and she needed a boost to keep focused and motivated. Thats a story we all have heard thousands of times, but this one was different. She needed a boost to keep focused and motivated, cue gasp, according

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to her parents. Thats fucking weird, yall. But it gets weirder. They didnt just ask a doctor to prescribe it to her or convince her to take it like normal God-fearing suburban parents would. Instead, what they did was they took apart the capsules and mixed those little orangish white pellets in with her favorite drink: Milk flavored with strawberry Nesquik . Now, what happens often with amphetamines is that they make people thirsty because its dehydrating. Combine this with the American trend of not drinking water, at all, for some reason. I mean for real, people are drinking diet soda more often than water these days. She quenched her thirst with more of her favorite drink, which contained the amphetamine. Unsurprisingly, the parents sued Nestle. At that time, and shockingly still this very day, there was nothing on the Nesquik container saying that one should not mix it with adderall. That is disturbing news, because for all I know there can be adderall

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in my strawberry Nesquik powder. There is no label there to stop someone from doing it to my drink. Now, I cant just not drink milk flavored with strawberry Nesquik because Ive never drank water and Ill be damned if I start today. So each morning Im essentially forced to pour out all the Nesquik and inspect each pellet to assure that there isnt any adderall in it. This mandatory practice has cost me several hours each day. In other news, Jessica agreed to come along with me to work on my journalist novel. Though, she seems to be frustrated because every time I look at the news, I get paranoid about something. Most of the time, I still cant seem to remember why Im even here. Luckily, on the cover of my journal I wrote: try to remember stuff, you cant so you are embarking on an adventure with that annoying girl, also shes gay, I dont know if that matters, but she is. It has occurred to me that I could just read

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my journal to remember everything but that would involve reading over and over again and I cant take time out of Nesquik inspection to do so. Have you fucking found something yet? She said, sneaking up behind me. No, Im still looking. I said. I remained on my laptop, searching the local news vigorously. Looking at craigslist ads, googling random shit, and just watching an obscene amount of porn and cooking shows. Jessica didnt seem to happy about any of that, and the amount of time I wasted. She closed my laptop and showed me a Neonazi flyer. I thought she was trying to start something, interrupting my F-Word with Gordon Ramsay marathon with a nazi poster, but she explained we can go undercover and follow them in their shenanigans. I dont think we should do

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