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NAGA GIRLS AND BOYS STANDARD : AWAY FROM SWEET HOME

In this complex world every state/tribe/community has their own origin, tradition, culture,
language, intelligence, nature and unique lifestyles. These are the foundations of unity of
any tribe, community, society, state and nation. These fundamentals make the real
identity of a person to other people. A person may be highly educated and rich but if
he/she don’t know his/her own origin then there is not much value to measure from
her/him, as it is like the ship going without radar. A person cannot deny that he/she don’t
have its origin. “There is no smoke without some fire” so all of us have our own origin
and identity.

In this new millennium, none of us like to be a nomad or gypsy. If we keep these words
intact inside ourselves, other people will surely respect us and treat us at the same
status. And no one will dare to point us on any minor incidents. In short no one wants to
have identity crisis. That’s why in this world people are fighting for wars to show their
superiority and want their presence to safeguard their own identities.

Likewise, Naga people have our own origin, unique tradition, culture, language,
intelligence, lifestyle, history, appearance and whenever we meet any third person, we
are easily able to introduce ourselves to him/her because of the words we have in. And
being Naga we should not loose it at any cost. After all we Naga are the follower of
CHRIST.

In Delhi and other metro cities in India, there are thousands of Naga. Among them some
are studying, some are preparing for exams, some are working and some are doing
business. Wherever we study, work or do anything we should not forget our distinct
origin, tradition and customs. But unfortunately there are few Naga particularly some
young boys and girls below 30 years, who create bad image on Naga. How does it
affect to all of us, let's have a deep look into the following categorized potential disasters.

Girls having illicit affairs with Indian

Some Naga girls have deep relations with Indian without knowing or understanding the
mentality / tradition / culture of the Indian. In our Naga society, 99 percent of marriages
are of 'Love Marriage'. Mostly we love each other and get married at last. And some
does arranged marriage with their parent's consultation. This is our beautiful tradition.
And yes marriage is an institution where two people come together as one and become
a family. As there is a saying marriage is made in heaven, but we spent and enjoy
on earth. Today if Romeo and Juliet is still alive then they would have strongly
advocate at the top of their voice that we all should have romance, but without
illicit affairs like some of our Nagas girls are doing it for the sake of getting
enjoyment for a short span of period.

But Indian, they may love someone while young and 99 percent of them get married with
someone else of their parent's choice. It happens at every corner in India. Just look into
the following states: Bihar, UP, MP, Rajasthan, Gujarat, Punjab, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka
etc. all Indian states (except few North Eastern states) where husband kills wife because
of dowry and extra marital affairs, father-in-laws or brother-in-laws rape brides or wives
etc. It is happening and it is a naked truth before our eyes. This may be their tradition
and that is why that are taking place. “Everything happens with reasons” Everyone
knows changing a tradition is nearly impossible and it will take hundred of years to
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change, if possible. How can a goat become a sheep? That is how applies to our people
to get marriage with them.

Fortunately, such evil incidents do not happen in our Naga area. So how can we believe
or trust these Indian people in such events. And in this 21st century we will be the foolish
people if we keep on falling in their traps and tricky words.

And 99% of Naga girls having affairs with Indians are already spoiled when the Indian(s)
abandons her/them. These Indians spread or tell their fake love story to their other
colleagues. It's 200% sure that majority of these Indians will not marry as they know that
there is a huge gap in everything that's for sure. They are simply pretending and
enjoying their youthfulness. Expressing fake love, care and affection to get something
out of it.

In this liberal society, it does not mean that we should not mingle with other people and
be always conservative. There should be some limitations always and should know our
purpose of staying far away from home and sometimes we should think of our home,
parents etc. like how they manage to send money during such financially critical
conditions in Naga areas, how they will be doing at home, what they will be eating etc.
and sometimes we should ask ourselves- who am I, what I am doing is right or wrong, a
fear of what other people will be talking about me if something goes wrong on my side.

In short, we should keep our morale under control. And it will be better to remember
that once our morale and character is lost then everything is lost. One should
realize that loosing our image and name to other people is same as loosing the name of
Naga. Moreover, every Naga wants to live happily and peacefully with good life and
fame. But we people are known for hunting all sorts of enjoyment. Enjoyment take us
to the comfort zone for a short while, when we drink and dance but hard labour will
never fade away from us instead it gives us reward with our daily food.

It is interesting to share to you one real story that I had witnessed. A simple guy from our
community who is a highly qualified candidate working in a repute Pvt. Co. in the
marketing department as outsource Executive in NCR. Being in the outsource sales
department they used to gossip and discuss about marketing strategy values. One day
the Indian manager who is married told to the Naga guy that he had a Naga girl friend
and was narrating that Naga girls are good, lovable and had have enjoyed a lot with so
many Naga girls in the north and south campus. When he asked, is your wife from Naga?
The manager said: he did not marry the Naga girl and it was just for fun because I have
money to treat them what they want. On that very day the Naga guy got too much
irritated, humiliated without having committed any.

After his bitter experienced, one day there were a group of sales marketing executives
meeting with all the departments, after the meeting the manager started the topic again
and another Indian guy narrated and exaggerated a similar story in front of every one.
This time our poor Naga guy could not tolerate the anger, insult and so he punched the
second Indian saying that "the bad girls may be from Manipur or Nagaland etc. and it
happens in every society, it is even worse when you talk about other Indian and your
society itself". And there was a fight between the second Indian and Naga guy but the
manager supported and sided the second Indian. That day he was very much furious,
anger, insulted and he did nothing in his work the whole day. After that day, he resigned
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from the company and promised that he would go to his native place and work and
decided not to work in any Indian companies particularly in North India.

See how horrible, painful and humiliation incident our poor brother had suffered because
of some immoral Naga girls. Similar cases may be happening in other cities too. Last
year one Naga girl was smashed for no reason/fault of her with the cold drink glass
bottle on the head but luckily she got recovered. Let’s try to do something that can really
change the image of Nagas by living in a decent way of life wherever we may be. Girls
should be careful in all that they speak, dress, look because Indians are hungry/lust for
sexual desires. The same applies to boys too.

Let's do a simple calculation, how does it affect our society. It is believed that there are
around 40,000 Nagas staying outside Naga home. Out of this 20,000 are girls. Lets
assume, out of it 1000 girls have deep relations with Indians. Lets take every those
Indians have 10 friends and meets them 4 times in a month. And that Indian narrates the
fake love story to his other colleagues whenever he meets them.

Every year (1000 (Indians) x 10 x 4 x 12=) 4.8 lakh Indians will come to know the cheap
attitude, easily available and foolishness of our Naga girls/boys. And these Indians will
not shut their big mouths. So, the total number of people will keep on multiplying. As the
time goes on, it will become a big burden and fireball to kill and will make our morale too
down which we may not be able to get-up and stand high to the present Naga.

And if it goes on happening this way, we Naga will be finished off one day in Delhi and
other metro cities just say in next ten years. Someday we may feel shameful while
disclosing our identity to other people.

Here I would like to recall a quote "women are the mirror of the society". It's not about
all the Naga girls; it's about few of them.

Remedies/Message to this group:

Please do not make it happened anymore for the sake of God and our future innocent
children. We Nagas are small group of people from a small state. If we do not stop this
now, one day it will eliminate our identity and at last eliminate all of us from this earth
literally. Please don't ever think that our culture, tradition, lifestyle are same as with those
Indian's. There is a huge difference that can never match. First difference is the face
appearance.

Girls live-in/residing with Indians without marriage/commitment of marriage

A few Naga girls are doing such evil things to blacken our Naga society without any fear.
No body knows why they are doing like this, whatsoever the reasons it is very bad and
shameful to us and it will discriminate us one day from this World. We want to ask them
"how and why they live-in with those Indians illegally without marriage and without
having any commitment of marriage from the Indian family or without the
acknowledgement of their families. How far will the Indian family agree to their relation?
The answer is very dim. What will happen when he abandons her? "They never think of
the reality.

Here I would like to narrate you one more real story. It happened last year in Delhi and
may be happening even now. The story is like this: A Naga girl has been in a deep
relation with a Indian boy. This Indian used to visit her room very often even in the
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presence of other Naga girls (2-3) who are room-mates staying in a small single room
set and they are all working in a BPO together. This Indian even stayed for few nights in
their small room in the presence of other Naga girls. One girl opposed strongly. What a
horrific and shameful scene. After that they started living separately.

One day one girl asked her 'what will happen if your boy friend abandons you'. The poor
girl answered 'she will elope to his home'. What a funny and stupid answer she replied.
How come the family or society of the boy will accept her? It is well understood that
eloping is a bad name in Indian society and they do not allow it. To get big dowry is an
honoured for them. So why can a poor Naga girl can managed to tackle the future
problems that awaits her?

Whoever does it they (parents) simply send their son/daughter on exile. Eloping
happens in our society because it is part of our tradition and our society accepts it, but
not in Indian society. And after sometime, we heard that one more Naga girl close to that
evil girl has become girl friend of another Indian who is friend of that first Indian.

On hearing the news, with few of my friends wanted to meet the girl and talked to the girl
and searched for her, but she went underground. Likewise it might be happening in other
cities also. It is very shameful to all Naga. And at the same time, we really appreciate
those Naga girls who got married to Indians and settled down. Our concept is that if they
can marry those Indians then its ok, well and good. But let’s think twice before we give
any commitment to him/them.

If not, then it creates problems to other Naga girls who are good in morale, character,
very homely, sincere to their study, work and who are not concerned about Indians. At
last, it creates big problems on all of us. Our main concern should be if any Naga girls
are doing it then they have to do it (marry) or die or live in a depressed life.

Please do not spread your evil thoughts and sinful things for the sake of your parents
and our society. Please save the name of other Naga girls and 'The Fame of Nagas'.

Company and staying with foreigners may be because of money/fun

A very few girls/boys are seen having company and staying with foreigners. And no body
knows what their modus operandis. What they really want, it's confusing. But it sends
wrong message to Indians that Naga girls are cheap and easily available.

It is very difficult to think and understand 'what their real intentions are? Will they
become foreigners if they mingle with them or can they hide their identity by going along
with those foreigners? The answer is NO, never.

Remedies/Message to this group:

Being in the company of those foreigners, you might pretend to be a foreigner. But
always keep in your mind that, it is not going to change you from being Naga. Does not
matter whatever you wear, your parents and your blood belong to Naga. You can hide
nowhere from being Naga. Please watch out your steps else one day you may step on
your own parents’ feet or may fall from your hi-fi ladder to a ditch.

Drug addicts/drinking in parties (We don't blame party among ourselves).

There are some Naga particularly boys who abuse drugs (SP and other tablets/drugs
etc), for what, we do not know, may be in search of their own pleasure. There were few
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cases of death due to over-dose (OD). They never realize how it affects Nagas and our
society. We want to ask them 'Why you are doing it while you are outside of your home
state? Don't you know and understand that it will affect your fellow Nagas and their
future? Don't you realize that what impressions these Indians might be having about us
and how your parents might suffer after investing such huge money on your education
and other expenses'. After all, misuse of any drugs is hazardous to health.

To share my experienced- one day I went to the chemist shop to buy pain killer tablets
after the football match “Diclowilplus” but to my surprised the chemist wala asked me;
that goli you want? Because most your people are taking from my shop, said chemist. I
got surprised and got into deep conversation, I asked him to say sorry for the wrong
word that he had used before me. But he was not willing to say sorry. I replied to him I
am going to file FIR to you and call up the police to raid your shop. The chemist said ok,
do what you want to do. Therefore, with not option left I called my best friend father who
is an Inspector in the Delhi Police posted at New Friend’s Colony Police station. My
friend came within 20 minutes along with his father and his friends. The chemist wala got
shocked after seeing the team of policemen standing. I introduced policemen to the
chemist sir these guys are my best friends and they have arrived to take away your goli
that you have in the store. He started yelling at me that he was just making fun of me,
said the chemist to the policemen. With that much courage approached I got the culprit
behind the bar and today the chemist shop at Chirag Delhi doesn’t exist anymore.

This is how we usually come and encountered from the Indian people. Because of one
stupid girl/boy the name and impression of our society is spoiled.

Remedies/Message to this group:

We know you are free to do anything you like, no one is going to oppose you and you
have fundamental right called "personal freedom". But please understand your limits and
do whatever you want within the limitations. Do not sell your parent's name and our
society with your bad habits.

Girls wearing skimpy clothes (without understanding the time, place and limits)
A large number of Naga girls are wearing all sort of skimpy, fancy clothes. Good! It's
fashion and it makes them look smart, good looking and clean only when they wear it at
the right place and time like 5 star hotels, Plazas, PVR Cinemas etc. Keep your
windows closed and be alert always as anytime anybody can come and attack you.
If you are no closing your windows properly than some insects/virus/foreign
things can come and pollute your life and name. So the best solution is to take of
your self. As there is a saying in the Bible “be alert these days are evil” and ready
for the judgment day that is to give your account before Him.

But it creates problems and brings bad name on us when they wear it at the wrong place
like local sabzi market, nearby your home/colonies, crowded places, Bus Stands etc. If
they wear those fancy/skimpy dresses in such places then it sends wrong message to
other Indians and it raises the blood pressure of those lusty half-educated, uneducated
chai walas, dukandars and other Faltu Indians. Indians think that we are very cheap and
they used to take the advantage of us wherever we go, sometimes even a bus conductor
used to treat us, we are nothing before them and call us you bahadur, cheeky, Nepali.
We should try our best to adopt the environment whatever we stay or deal with if we
want to live with them. If we are good then other people will treat us in the way that we
treat them. Do good to others and others will reciprocates the same to you.
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Wearing those clothes is nothing wrong from their (girls) side. But the problem is the
mentality and thinking of those Indians. This we cannot change, but we can make
changes on our part i.e. wearing decent/humble clothes at the right place. And there is
nothing wrong while copying the decent/humble dresses and manners of other
people/community. Why can’t we Naga give a good example to our Indians brothers and
sisters that we Nagas are bold/brave? Instead we want to spend but don’t want to work,
we want job/money but without hard labour. To quote an example “if you are sick
then you have to go to the hospital or the hospital will come to you for your
treatment”, that is what we have to do it if we Naga wants to do something in life.

Lately there were few incidents of molestation of Naga girls too. There were indeed two
molestation cases in Delhi. One was in November-December last year, a Naga girl was
wearing skimpy dress and coming back from the local sabzi market at around 10 o'clock
night at her locality. At one corner a local Indian (half-educated) molested her. On
hearing the news, other fellow Nagas from nearby localities gathered and agitated
against the inaction of the local police. The whole night, all her friends stayed there
demanding the immediate arrest. Later and sooner, the Indian guy was arrested.

See how our Naga brothers and sisters were united, morally strong and supported the
girl and her friends. Because we all are Nagas in heart, from a patriotic name and place
of Nagas, whether it may be in Nagaland, Manipur etc.

And the second incident was in daylight, inside the campus of Delhi University itself.
How painful and unsafe for our people, that too inside the University campus.
Unimaginable! We have no words to describe such heinous acts against us. We do not
know how the incident had happened? The reason may be anything…it is left to you. But
it is hurting to all of us. We think the second case is still pending in the court.

One more truth that happened last year was the publication on a few national
newspapers. It was published that there should be a 'DRESS CODE' only for north east
girls in Delhi University. This dress code was issued by authority under the pressure of
other Indians students who were claiming that North East girls used to dress in 'Cheap
Way and Loose Manner'. In general, their main intention of the claim was to identify
and isolate the North East girls. That time, it was a big issue in Delhi.

And all North East girls opposed to the idea of divided dress code. Yes, North East girls
were right. Why only North East girls should have dress code (uniform), why not for
other Indian students? Every single North East student and North East people living in
Delhi, were shocked by the news. That incident seemed to be a total discrimination of
North East people from the main stream (India). And every North East girl had to suffer
because of few immoral girls who did it.

Everyone knows that uniform is for all in a University or Institute. There might be no
single Institute or University, on this Earth, which has divided system on Uniform. Such
incident indicates what kind of mentality and perceptions they (Indians) have about the
North East students and people. And it is a fact that majority of the North East students
in Delhi are from Manipur, Nagaland. Dear Naga brothers and sisters, it is the right
time to open our eyes and wake up to the alarm before it's late.
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Remedies/Message to this group:

Please wear those fancy clothes of your choice at the right place and time. We do not
want any unwanted incidents to happen on our [sisters]. And we have limited tolerance
of such incidents and insults if it happens again. So please beware of your dresses once
you are outside of Naga home.

Girls live-in with fellow male Nagas (cousin brothers/sisters, genetic relations etc.)
A number of boys and girls are staying (live-in) together out of relations in Delhi /other
cities. A few of them are students and few of them are employed. But most of them are
unemployed ex-students and preparing for some exams etc..!. And majority of them are
unaware by their parents too.

We want to ask those (die-hard lovers) particularly students and ex-students, we do not
understand "what are you doing, you are getting money from home for your studies only
but not to establish a family out of Nagas". And there are so many unwanted abortions
reported in different hospitals.

Have you ever thought of "what those Indians doctors and hospital staffs will think of us,
will they respect us? Do you think live-in lifestyle sends good message to other people?".
In fact, it reflects the image of our society in wrong direction in the minds of other people.

And these die-hard lovers used to tell fake identities to the Indians landlords, saying that
they are cousin brothers or sisters etc…! They never realize what the landlord and his
family may say when they come to know the truth. They (Indians) may start speaking
and spreading gossips that these Nagas used to stay with their own cousin brothers /
sisters and have all illicit relations. What a shame to all of us?

Let's forget about those employed who 'Live-In' together because their story may be a
different one. But they should set morale example to the people around. They are
economically independent of their home and rely on nobody. Moreover they are matured
enough to sense the term "live-in".

Remedies/Message to this group:

Please try to stop these practices. You cannot combine study with cousin sisters/
brothers. And you can hide no longer from your family and others; they are not blind and
deaf. Those who are employed and live-in together please go and get married. Moreover,
Live-in lifestyle is transported culture from some highly developed western nations and
we are under-developed state (not even a developing state).Even though we are far
from Naga home, let's do something good for our parents and Naga land in return of
what they have done for us. Hope this way we can, at least, repay their debt to some
extent.

CONCLUSION:
At present we feel good and proud saying that we are from Naga land where people are
cordial and peace loving. But this feeling may vanish away in few years if we do not take
some concrete steps and mass understanding among ourselves to safeguard our unique
identity and future. And the Naga leaders and associations also have to take some
initiatives / steps. All the above problems are also part of the weakness of our Naga
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leaders, unable to establish / maintain an efficient education system and unable to

resolve the problem of unemployment and insurgency.

For the time being, let's forget about the Govt.'s part. And let us focus on why not we try
and do our best to transform ourselves to a developed society or state. Before the
Indians are to be blamed for all these indecent activities, we have to have a big say that
it is our people, both the boys and girls, who hold equal responsible for the situation. And
the main culprits are the parents of those immoral boys/girls. They (parents) are the first
people to be blamed. How come they allow their children, particularly girls, to reside/stay
in a rented house/room at such unsecured/uncensored metro cities? Why don't they
keep their children in proper and secured hostels, accommodations etc.? They (parents)
never know what sort of nonsensical things are committed by their sons and daughters
once they are out of home. May be once/twice in a year, the parents should, at least,
visit and check the progress of their (children) study, work etc.

And it is the right time to wake up and take some precautions and stop all the above
issues now, otherwise in future any student from Nagas area/land will not get a seat in
any colleges in Delhi/other cities. We may not find a place to stay also. Our children or
future generation (our future sons and daughters) will suffer from the present bad
situations created in present and past.

And moreover, we all are emotional and patriotic Naga. We all cannot tolerate ill
treatments, harassments by Indians. Sometimes it makes our blood boil. Personally, I
cannot tolerate and control my anger when I heard of something like "Rape or molest of
Naga girls or North East girls". Hope every Naga must be having the same patriotic and
emotional feelings. We must think, it's better to prevent now from unwanted incidents
which may happen in future.

We urge all Nagas staying in Delhi and other cities, to be aware of the seriousness and
spread these serious problems among ourselves so that Indians can no longer take
advantages on us or on our sisters in future. Let's become ideal Naga so that other
fellow Nagas feel proud of us.

To prevent such unwanted incidents, ill-treatments, we should condemn all the above
issues and we have to be very careful whenever we are in a new and big cities like Delhi,
Mumbai, Pune, Chandigarh, Bangalore etc. And we have to be a well educated, bold,
smart and not indulging in bad things and companies, should know our limits and do
within the limits.

And its good to learn and speak any language like Hindi to make it more familiar with us.
First let's learn it from our elders/schools/friends, If we don’t know the language. Or it is
much better to speak either in English or Nagamese or any other Naga language in
presence of them (Indians) until you are comfortable with the language. Why should we
get bad/ill treatments, harassments from other people? We must be treated equally.
"Nothing More Nothing Less". Let us live with raising heads, Life and Fame if we
are to live on this Earth. We request all of you whoever reads this message, please
convey it to your 10 friends and make it aware to the public. In this way, we can
contribute something better towards creating a good name on Naga and keep the
safeguard the identity of our society.
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Please let us remember that whatever “We Do Is For Our Homeland”. Let's Save
Naga, Long Live and Peace to Nagas. Salute to the outstanding Naga Leaders.
Kuknalim !

Note: This writing highlights only on the main problems faced by outside Nagas. There
are also many problems in Nagas areas but they are not covered in it. These views are
personal expressions of the author and it does not reflect to the public.

This writing views has been published in some of the sources. **For any comments or
suggestions on the article are most welcomed. You can send your feedbacks to
at :ngjames82@gmail.com