Autumn 2013

Campaigning for More Family Time

ope youve enjoyed the glorious sunshine this Summer and have had time to enjoy a short break with your families.
In this Autumn edition of the newsletter we include details of our next Open Meeting and AGM on Wednesday the 16th of October. Its a bit earlier this year, as were planning a networking reception in November, so it promises to be a busy time for our volunteers. We hope that as many of you (mothers, fathers and grandparents) as possible will be able to join us to hear Dr Aric Sigman and Sally Goddard Blythe presenting groundbreaking scientific research about childrens developmental needs. We hugely appreciate the support you give us in very many different ways, such as contacting MPs, providing feedback on media interviews, sending in photographs, or offering to take part in local studio interviews or phone-ins. Please keep your e-mails coming in and send your contributions to the MAHM Blog on our website. It seems inconceivable that not so long ago we had to rely on snail mail for feedback! Increasingly, social media makes it easier for people to connect with one another and we were pleased to see that some MAHM facebook posters recently decided to meet up in real life! It reminds me that in the early days of this organisation we set up local community groups across the UK - but the network proved too time-consuming for our volunteers to organise. Today its very different and social media is fast transforming local contacts, as well as the way we approach our campaigning work. We now make regular use of Twitter (still learning!), as well as two facebook sites. We have an open page (Mothers at Home Matter Too), linked off our website, and also a closed group (Mothers at Home Matter). We know that our open page can be viewed by policy analysts, journalists, politicians and commentators, so its a good way to make public your views about family policy proposals. For example, post your views about the governments plans to restrict taxpayerfunded support to dual earners earning up to 300,000 using paid childcare, whilst deliberately sidelining other hard-working families whove given up one wage to provide care in-house. The fact is ALL parents bear costs in childcare whether they pay for registered provision or make arrangements for one parent to take on the bulk of care responsibilities. In our work its important to emphasise the positives of staying at home and for our campaign to be a celebration of family life. Many mothers write in to say how much fun they have taking care of the children and the support they get from family, friends, excolleagues and working parents. Although the media likes to emphasise divisions between working mums and stay at home mums, MAHM challenges this rather over-simplistic analysis. In reality most parents respond to ever-changing family circumstances and adapt to work and care commitments over the family-life cycle, dipping in and out of work, changing jobs and dealing with other major life events. An increasing number of fathers now stay at home to care and many have written to express their support. Were keen to develop our work in this area, and to highlight the invaluable work of all individuals who invest time in caring for others.

Contents
1 Campaigning for More Family Time 2 MAHM News 3 Meetings 4 Committee Biographies 6 Media Insights 7 In the News 8 Home Alone 9 WATCh? Talk 10 Book Reviews 12 Members, groups & AGM
On page 3, youll see a summary of some of the meetings weve been able to attend, held in the last couple of months, to talk about motherhood and single-earner couples. We also look forward to working more closely with other organisations and to start influencing the design of surveys commissioned to examine changing family life and parents preferences about care and childcare. If the right questions arent asked, then how can we expect to learn more about what parents really think? Lastly, if you would like to consider joining the committee and want to find out more, just drop me a line to PO Box 43690, London SE22 9WN or e-mail info@ mothersathomematter.co.uk. I look forward to hearing from you. Marie Peacock, Chair

The newsletter of Mothers at Home Matter, PO Box 43690, London SE22 9WN

MAHM News
Open Meeting and AGM
We are extremely fortunate to welcome two experts to address our Open Meeting this year. Here is a taster of their work. Dr Aric Sigman Aric Sigman works independently in health education and is a Chartered Biologist, Fellow of the Society of Biology, Chartered Psychologist, Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society, a Chartered Scientist awarded by the Science Council and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine. Dr Aric Sigman [author of the two publications below] said: The effects of daycare on the child continue to be discussed through the prism of adult sexual politics and womens rights. This has been a significant impediment, involving a serious conflict of interest: womens rights and self-fulfillment are not the same issue as child wellbeing and may often compete for precedence. If womens rights have been hard won, so too has the ability to publish and discuss openly the inconvenient potential effects of daycare on children. At the same time, curiously, there appears to be little effort invested in concern for the feelings of stay-at-home mothers. As it stands, parental care and daycare are presented as equal alternatives entailing mere stylistic differences and choices. Biologically-based research is now providing a different perspective. No matter how uncomfortable, society now needs an honest framework in which to make decisions about childcare. Attending a childcare centre, and the consequent separation from parents, can be a significant source of stress for many young children. There remains a lack of acknowledgement for differences in starting age and time spent in institutional day care: not just the quality of daycare but how the number of hours spent in daycare and the age of initiation may affect children. Its almost certainly not the case of more being merrier. Biology has a vital yet under-recognised contribution to make in this important area of family life and national policy. In future, the under-reported biological research should be included to enable both government and society at large to make more fully informed decisions. Many fundamental aspects of a childs developmental wellbeing are not accessible through current methods of assessment because they are simply too nuanced or unsuitable. Understanding how the young child is affected emotionally and biologically, and how they experience day

Please send letters & contributions to P O Box 43690, London SE22 9WN or to newsletter@mothersathomematter.co.uk The Editor reserves the right to edit letters and articles for space and clarity.

care while they are actually there is not easy. Babies cant speak and toddlers have limited verbal abilities when it comes to describing their inner world. And so, as we embrace early daycare ever further, we should remind ourselves that when it comes to an issue of such fundamental importance we must continue to adhere to a long-standing principle of precaution and assume mother knows best.
Sigman A. (2012) Delegated parenting: some neuroendocrine reservations, in Suggate S., Reese E. Contemporary Debates in Childhood Education and Development. Routledge. London Sigman A.(2011) Mother Superior? The biological effects of day care. The Biologist;58(3):29-32.

Going Camping by Doodlemum www.doodlemum.com

Sally Goddard Blythe Sally Goddard Blythes professional area of expertise is in childrens neuro-motor development and how physical development in the early years supports cognitive functioning and behaviour. She wrote an article in Nursery World in March this year outlining the parents crucial role in the early years, particularly in the first nine months, which can be seen as a continuation of gestation in developmental terms. Sally highlights key elements in the attachment process as proximity, continuity and sympathetic reciprocal communication (physical, emotional and linguistic). These critical stages in the attachment process peak at about nine months of age, just when statutory maternity pay ends. When mothers return to work at this stage, it is like the loss of a love affair for a baby.

Letter sent to MAHM

At MAHM we receive many letters and emails of support. Our facebook page is also a great way of sharing and finding out your views. Below we have included a representative example: Dear MAHM, I constantly feel that I need to justify why I stay home with my children. I work really hard and I really want to get on. I have always been fiercely ambitious but having children meant that I lost my job as a secondary teacher which forced us to make the decision about whether we wanted to make financial sacrifices for me to stay at home with our two children. In all honesty I think a lot of parents may well feel they need

to say that work doesnt pay as justification for staying at home because of the stigma attached. I believe it is a familys own choice about who works and how much - and I dont think it is fair or reasonable to undermine the decisions of families who choose to have a parent stay at home by suggesting that these families are somehow less ambitious or less hard working or less in need of support. Surely financial support should be based on household income and not your decisions as a family! I am one of very few I know who have made this choice, often I feel quite alone and alienated. I do make a contribution to society not just through my dedication to raising morally and socially responsible children but as a volunteer (10 hours/week). I do want to do paid work eventually but I dont want to send my children to nursery or a childminder yet. If I could fit work around being at home with my children I would. I do try to work flexibly in the evenings but its self employed and doesnt bring in a guaranteed income of any sort. There I go again trying to justify myself!?! While some people describe me as lucky I know others think of me as lazy. The truth is we made a decision that has benefits but has meant huge financial sacrifices. I would like to feel that my role was recognised by society and valued. A mark of the lack of respect or value placed on my role is that I often have to choose to describe myself as unemployed or a housewife! I suppose the point Im making is that I shouldnt feel pressured to do paid work when I already have a full time job! I dont necessarily want financial support (although it would be nice), but to be slurred in this way I find unacceptable. I thought I would write to you after reading the articles in the news. Ill enjoy learning more about your organisation from your web site...its nice to know someone thinks I matter. Carmel Offord , Mum to two children

Opinions expressed on the letters page are not necessarily those of MAHM.

MAHM Meetings

here are a number of organisations and people with whom MAHM are keen to develop links, because of our shared interests, along the lines of early childhood development and families.
Here follows a summary of some of the meetings held this year: Meeting with John Hayes MP, Andrew Selous MP and Fiona Bruce MP Although as MAHM we are often invited by the media to criticise the Government for their latest schemes aimed at encouraging mothers back to work and refusing to support mothers at home full time, there are a number of MPs who share our views on the contribution single income families make and the importance of supporting them, including through a married persons tax allowance. We enjoyed an extremely positive meeting in which we discussed ways in which the Government could support parents at home full time and bolster the family unit. John Hayes told us, I recognise the vital role parenthood has in building a strong and stable society. Parenthood has been at the heart of strong, stable societies since time began. Andrew Selous and Fiona Bruce were also extremely encouraging in their recognition of the importance of strong families to society, and acknowledged that having a parent at home full time could help strengthen the family unit. There was general agreement that families should be given a genuine choice whether both parents work or one stays at home to look after the children. The MPs present felt that the introduction of the marriage tax allowance, albeit very limited in value at first, would be a step towards recognising the importance of the family unit in the tax system. Meeting with Don Draper, Independent Fiscal Consultant, CARE CARE are very keen to work on the economics of single income discrimination with MAHM and produce figures which back up our arguments regarding the injustices of the taxation system. They are focussed on holding the Government within this parliament to its pledges to support all families, particularly introducing Transferable Tax Allowances as a first step. CARE has identified that in the past 25 years overall taxation has not varied significantly, but those paying it have changed so that single income families contribute disproportionately more than any other household set up eg dual income families, couples without children or single people.

Meeting with Anand Shukla, Chief Executive, Family and Childcare Trust The Family and Childcare Trust (www.familyandchildcaretrust.org) is a charity created from a merger of the Daycare Trust and Family and Parenting Institute. The new FCT brand identity was launched at a House of Lords event in July to which MAHM was invited. In August we met with FCT at their offices near London Bridge when we identified areas of common interest in supporting parents - and discussed how both organisations campaign for a more familyfriendly society. It was mentioned that the term family friendly can be interpreted in subtly different ways: for some it is employment-led , whilst for others it is relationships-led and building a society which enables families to invest more time in family life. MAHM argues that for the latter to be possible we need more emphasis on care roles and, also, a level playing field in taxation between a) dual income couples using paid childcare and b) single-wage couples who deploy a parent to provide care at home and who forfeit one entire income to do so. We showed the MAHM pamphlet on Income Splitting and it was agreed that the current differences in levels of tax paid by two typical families needs addressing, because at present single-earner couples pay out a lot more in tax than dual-earners even when they are on the same overall family income. We clarified that for MAHM a transferable tax allowance is not a perk but rather a way of correcting this imbalance and could be applicable to couples in civil partnerships as well as marriage. We discussed how other countries such as France and Germany address family taxation, as they tend to factor in the valuable role of carers with dependents (sometimes with a mechanism to ensure that single-parent families have an extra tax allowance share). MAHM acknowledged that FCT did sometimes call for fairness for stay at home parents: for example in March, Anand Shukla put out a statement that Working families shouldnt be penalised because one parent chooses to care for young children. But MAHM also asked for more balance in the debate: in particular we would like to see a more robust recognition of the importance of family care systems to match their already-vigorous campaigning efforts for better childcare for those who need it. We pointed out that in one of their previous conferences (2012) Ben Page from IPSOS Mori explained that what parents want most is more of all is to have more time with my family and we pointed out that current govt policy initiatives seem to go against parental preferences, with todays relentless squeeze on family time affecting life satisfaction.

With regard to fatherhood matters, MAHM reiterated that it values equally the roles of fathers, both in supporting their families through paid work and the increasing number of home-dads as primary caregivers .We hope to develop this aspect of our work over the coming year. However we believe that motherhood-at-home is unique in being downgraded in policy: whilst government investment in education and support for fatherhood is to be welcomed, recognition for mothers-at-home is conspicuous by its absence. We need to celebrate motherhood more often. FCT stressed the importance of tone , nuance and positive language in campaigning, so that organisations and individuals value each others contribution to family policy debates and recognise the complex challenges faced by families at various stages of the family life cycle. We hope to identify more opportunities to consult with FCT in the future. Meeting with Samantha Callan and Deven Ghelani, Centre for Social Justice The Centre for Social Justice (CSJ) has done a lot of work on families and the cost of family breakdown. We met with the CSJ in order to look at the economics of why mothers have to go out to work and how the Government could support the family, financially and morally. Meeting with Tim Knox, Centre for Policy Studies We discussed the taxation figures and economic graphs we have produced showing the injustice of child benefit withdrawal, the higher rate tax charge and the lack of acknowledgement of number of dependents in the family, focussing on the issue of equivalisation. Meeting at the Institute of Economic Affairs Patron Patricia Morgan joined MAHM for this meeting. The key speaker was Elizabeth Truss MP, Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Education and Childcare, who spoke on the theme of Childcare. MAHM was able to raise the issue of the role of mothers who prefer to look after their children themselves, particularly when they are very young. We asked Truss how more childcare allowances could be justified for couples on high joint incomes when there is very little support for families earning 20% of the maximum threshold of 299,999 proposed for tax allowances for childcare, especially when some families have also lost out on Child Benefit. Our previous Chair Jill Kirby also attended the meeting as a freelance policy analyst.

Committee Biographies

he Mothers at Home Matter committee are all volunteers, live all over the country, and are mothers to a range of numbers of children, from one to five. I hope you will find our biographies/ testimonies interesting. We always welcome new committee members, so please feel free to chat to us at the Open Meeting in October or email info@mothersat homematter.co.uk
Marie Peacock, Chair I first found MAHM 15 years ago after the Chair at the time had a letter published in one of the national newspapers. At that time the organisation was called Full Time Mothers. I was in my thirties and the children were just 1, 3 and 5 years old. It was a pivotal moment I just knew there had to be another story that we werent reading about in the press and other mothers who, like me, wanted to focus on looking after the children and who felt concerned about the direction of family policy. Finding a like-minded community wasnt easy - this was the very early 90s and many people didnt have a computer yet, let alone mobiles and social media. I started off helping with What the Papers say for our newsletter. Over ten years later, in 2012, I was elected Chair, which is a great privilege. Our four children are now aged between 11 and 20 and were finally moving into a period of no more primary school, which is a whole new phase. I have loved being a mother to little ones and now that the children are much older I realise that if anything it gets busier and busier! Ive been fortunate to experience parenting in a variety of cultures. I graduated in French and Spanish with Economics back in 85 and spent almost ten years working in Marketing and International Market Research, mainly business to business. Shortly after having our first child we moved to France and also spent four years in Holland, where I volunteered teaching English to Polish mothers. When the children were young I decided to study Family Life and Social Policy

with the Open University and when the time felt right I returned to very part time research work on a Childcare and Work-Life balance project, interviewing parents, who convinced me that a preference to care for the family is very strong for a lot of mothers. However, I found that getting the worklife balance right was impossible, with difficult hours and too much travel, so I eventually gave it up to register as a childminder working from home. I continue to sit on my local Childrens Advisory Board and I have also been Trustee and outreach worker for a family charity and worked in parenting support in the community. I keep an eye on European policy through FEFAF (European Federation of Unpaid Carers in the Home) and WMM (Worldwide Movement of Mothers), which call for more value to be attributed to the work of mothers and fathers raising children. I recently completed my Early Years Professional Status postgraduate qualification. Pat Dudley, Treasurer I joined Full Time Mothers, as it was then, in 1993 and became Treasurer in 1997. I have a Maths degree and I worked for a large multinational in their London Head office after qualifying as a Chartered Accountant. I gave up work when my son was born 32 years ago. I also have a daughter aged 29 and a grandson who is nearly 2, whose mum my daughter in law - is a member of MAHM and very happy to be at home with him. Although I have done very little paid work in the last 30 years, I have been a School Governor for 25 years, a volunteer for Homestart, helped my parents when they got older and of course supported my husband and children! I have never regretted my personal choice to be at home and I am very sad that the choice for mothers now is even more difficult and financially biased toward paid work. Sine Pickles, Membership Secretary I joined later in life than many, around 2000 when my children (2 sons) had already left home. A friend of mine was secretary and I was interested in what she was doing. I also remember hearing a news bulletin about expanding nurseries for young children and wondered why no one was considering that home might

be best. We used to have the odd meeting in Peter Jones, there were only four of us I remember. Shortly after that my friends husband died and she had to go back to work, so I took over being secretary. I trained as a primary school teacher but always wanted to have children and be at home with them. In the 70s this was the more normal thing to do. My husband worked for the Electricity research labs and his salary was fine for me to be at home. When the children went to school, it was a new independent one set up by parents. I started to teach there part time on a voluntary basis and this has continued right up until now. I have also attended practical philosophy classes for many years and through that started to meditate and learn Sanskrit which I also teach twice a week. I also chair a young mothers group once a week. Im very glad that both my daughtersin-law manage to be at home with their children, though they have to be careful with finances etc. When I got married in 1968, it seemed the most natural thing when you had children that you stopped going out to work. Otherwise why would you have them? (That was the thinking then). Its tough being a mother at home with young children now and I know from the young mothers who I meet that they really appreciate the support they get from each other. They have also commented that it is harder being at home sometimes than having a job with set times, but they feel that they have learnt much more from being a mum and are stronger for it. Claire Paye, Newsletter Editor and Media After a varied career covering management in retail banking, church youth work, tour leading and heading up the World Trade team at the London Chamber of Commerce, Ive been a mum at home full time since my children, Amelia (7) and Charlie (4) were born. I joined Mothers at Home Matter in 2007 and really enjoyed the encouragement I received (in those pre-Facebook group days) from reading the research in the newsletter regarding the benefits for children of their mother being at home full

time and attending the Open Meetings. It felt great to be connected to other mums at home full time and to have my decision to throw in my globe-trotting life to look after my children myself confirmed. I found myself on the committee somehow after last years Open Meeting and have really enjoyed the baptism of fire in the media following the Governments numerous attacks on stay at home mothers. I also volunteer as Chair of Amelias school Parents Association, I write some blogs as theamateurchristian and theamateurmother, I write reviews for the website www.whattodowiththekids.co.uk and am very involved with my church. Lynne Burnham, Secretary and Media After graduating in Spanish and French, I eventually found myself working as a Sales Manager for an American academic publisher, travelling all over Europe. I then moved to a British publisher and was seconded to Madrid for two years. I became involved with Full Time Mothers (aka Mothers at Home Matter) when I went to the wrong toddler group with my three year old son and was handed a newsletter by an ex-committee member! I have been on the Committee now for five years and have recently been very busy with requests from various TV and radio stations in response to the Governments constant drive to portray double income families as hardworking and aspirational whilst suggesting that to stay at home and look after your own children is a lifestyle choice. Anne Fennell, Special Events Having worked as a Childrens Editor in a publishing company I gave up work on getting married in an idealistic belief that as a couple we wanted to give something to the community, and we couldnt do that effectively if we were both working. A real step in the dark and at first a rather lonely one as I felt I had lost my identity, but I soon found that we had become involved in many things. Initially I was persuaded to stay on part time in publishing, I also took part in amateur dramatics and directed plays for a senior girls school, and I helped out in a charity organisation

studying Economics. 14 years on I have five wonderful boys, lively, intelligent and fun. As a family we are fully involved in their school, (I am a PTA member and class Rep), in church (I help with singing and run a fencing club for the youth, and my husband has served on the parish council), and we are active in the local community (challenging the Council to fix boarded playgrounds, campaigning when the Leisure Centre shut down the creche and are part of a group which tried to set up a primary school for our parish). Peter and I are also interested in politics, philosophy and economics and run a political discussion club at the National Liberal Club. I feel strongly that mothers who choose to stay at home to raise their family play an important role and it upsets me that this role is devalued in political and social circles, echoed in a taxation system which is almost alone in developed economies in not recognising the family relationships and discriminates against the single earner set up. I became actively involved as a Committee member of MAHM when the government announced the removal of child benefit for higher rate taxpayers 2010. It seemed necessary to start speaking out. Laura Perrins, Media I was a criminal barrister before taking time out from the bar to care for my two children Annabelle nearly 4 and Matthew 1 and half. I started my involvement with Mothers at Home Matter by challenging Nick Clegg on changes made the child benefit and child care allowance. I believe passionately that the choice by a mother to care for her children herself is worthwhile and should be respected by Governments and policy makers. Laura is on Twitter @LPerrins Rebecca Neal, Committee Member I never considered myself to be a natural mother, more of a career woman. Conceiving my first child, Beatrice Joy, changed that somewhat. When Beatrice was 2 I returned to work part-time.

Work seemed unimportant, and the nursery was dreadful. I was miserable. The sadness of a miscarriage helped me to resign from a job for life in parliament and be full-time at home. My second daughter, Amani Mae was born in 2010. We home educate and so my time is almost fully focused on my daughters. I also spend about 11 hours a week training in tai chi - a great way to focus inevitable frustrations! Sarah Douglas-Pennant, Ex-Chair and Committee Member I joined FTM just after it had begun when I was contacted after writing a letter to the Times. Luckily in those days it gave the address. I had always worked with children and been passionately interested in child development and welfare which I felt was beginning to be threatened by the push to get mothers into the workplace. At the time I had three young children and was running my own Montessori school for 3-5s in our house in Wiltshire. Before my marriage I had taught, and run a large Montessori school in London as well as travelling widely. For years after joining I was too tied up to go the the AGMs but eventually, through making contact with Kathy Gyngell who I discovered had children at the same school as mine, joined the committee in about 1995. In due course I became chairman in 2002 when the then chair, Jill Kirby, left to become chairman of the Conservative party social policy committee and subsequently, director of the Centre for Policy Studies. Our membership was steadily increasing when, two years into the role, I discovered I had breast cancer, and before I had recovered from this, my son died suddenly. At this point I felt I could not do justice to the organisation and in 2004 handed over the role of chairman. Since then I have maintained my interest but kept a very low profile until last autumn I re-joined the committee of what is now Mothers at Home Matter. I have also raised many hundreds of thousands of pounds for cystic fibrosis research and, intermittently, been a school governor and taught in Sunday School, and been bringing up my granddaughter, now aged four and a half.

Doing Battle in the Media

If youd be interested in being a contact for your local media, please email me on media-claire@ mothersathomematter.co.uk

others at Home Matter has become the go to group for the media world seeking an informed response from stay at home mothers.
It has been a steep learning curve for those of us taking part in the newspaper, radio and tv interviews. Wed like to share some insights with you and appeal for your compassion if we dont say all youd like us to say. Lynne Burnham As one of the MAHM spokespeople, I had taken part in several radio debates up to the start of this year. I found these interviews fairly manageable as I was able to have notes in front of me and even if I didnt use them, they were reassuring just in case. Life changed for me following our House of Commons event in March when the Government scored an own goal by announcing a new Childcare Voucher scheme whereby families with both parents working would qualify for tax relief on their third party childcare costs even if the total family income came close to 300,000 (individual earnings with a maximum of 150,000). For about 3 days, my mobile phone did not stop ringing with calls from the media, press and many other organisations who wanted to offer us their support. Following on from a heated radio debate with the ex-apprentice star Ms Katie Hopkins, I was contacted by ITVs This Morning programme and the very next day found myself on the sofa with Ms Hopkins and the presenters. The next day, I took part in a Skype interview with CNN in New York followed by a radio interview with Laura Perrins on a Canadian chat show. This led to an intense media campaign in which several of us were courted by the media seeking our opinions on Government policy and in fact, often, any family related topic. Then, just as the summer holidays started and the Government went into recess, I took a call from a journalist from The Sunday Telegraph asking for a response from MAHM to the news that the Government was about to launch a 12 week consultation period on the new Childcare Voucher scheme. The next day, I found myself front page of the Sunday Telegraph and my phone started ringing at 7am! On the day that I was going to London to support my husband in the Prudential 100 miles cycle race with my son and a friend, I found myself fielding many calls from the different television stations asking for interviews. Once again, the Government seemed to have scored yet another own goal. Then to add insult to misery, George Osbourne announced to the press that to stay at home and care for your own children

was a lifestyle choice! Letters to the papers poured scorn on this pronouncement as did various political commentators. Who knows where the next 12 months might take us. Thankfully, our media presence has enabled us to increase our profile and therefore, gain many new members. Hopefully many more will join for this roller coaster ride that is MAHM. Claire Paye I have discovered that, amazingly, interviewees dont always say exactly what they want to, in the way they would like to, and in the depth they would like to. My favourite interview took place recently on You and Yours when I had the opportunity to talk about why I think mothers at home play such a valuable role in their childrens lives, to touch on the drawbacks of long hours in childcare settings, to highlight the fact that I have many friends who are working mothers and we generally have a truce which means we dont attack each others decisions and to outline why MAHM are not asking for childcare vouchers, we are asking not to be discriminated against in the tax system. My worst interview was a local radio one, where, in response to the question of how society would benefit from my staying at home, my comment on the fact that good attachment in early years leads to the ability to form stable relationships in later years and play a full role in society was turned into a call to all working mothers to phone in and say whether I was suggesting their children would end up as criminals! Ive tried to steer clear of that argument since then. Heres what Ive learnt, having reflected after each interview on what I could have done better: Make sure I answer the interviewers original question, so the listeners dont think Im trying to avoid it. Remember that Im really speaking to the listeners, not the interviewer, so I try not to upset working mothers by what I say I imagine a working mum friend is listening but also to encourage mothers who are at home full time. On the flip side, remember that the interviewer is human. Try to affirm what a good question theyve asked, and use their words if at all possible, even if spinning what theyve said e.g. yes, it is unfair that not everyone can choose to stay at home, and this is what were campaigning to change. Focus on the positives of being at home, and leave the implied negatives of childcare as implied negatives! Given that time is always short, try not to waste any words but to use as many of the phrases we are trying to get across as possible

e.g. discrimination against single income families. I do enjoy interviews. It takes me back to tutorials at college where I had to defend my views, even if I wasnt sure what my views were! Laura Perrins The last few months have been a steep learning curve for me. When I called Clegg on LBC I never for one minute thought that it would lead to such a media storm but I am delighted that it has drawn attention to the cause of Stay at Home Mums. It is great to highlight not just the financial discrimination single-income families face, but also to connect with so many other mums who have made the incredibly valuable decision to stay at home and care for their children. It can be difficult to balance the media attention and having small children at home there have been many radio interviews interrupted by my son Matthew. I was fortunate in that my daughter attended Montessori three days a week without this I do not think I would have been able to do as much campaigning as I have done. The writing, in particular, can be very time consuming. But I was delighted to be asked to blog for the Telegraph. I enjoy writing as you get a chance to put your case in full and as the financial aspects are quite complex the space is needed to make it clear, not that we want to be paid to look after our own children, but just that we should not be punished in the tax system for making this choice. TV and radio interviews are interesting and I always remind myself that I am not speaking to the interviewer, or the other guest but to the ordinary listener at home. I feel most people have a strong sense of fairness and if they can understand how unfair the current system is they would support us too! The most frustrating part is definitely the view that we are asking to be paid to care for our children. Some comments are akin to I raised my children at home and I never asked to be paid for it. This person will not realise that they will have received either a tax allowance or child benefit when they were raising their family this is not longer the case for some families. The second most frustrating issue is those who feel that the taxpayer should contribute to their external childcare bill. I have still not heard a persuasive argument why the taxpayer should pay a parent to pay another person to care for their child. We get accused of having a sense of entitlement but yet some people feel they are entitled to have a contribution to their childcare costs. This still baffles me. I always remind myself that you cannot convince everyone in this debate but I do hope we are making progress with the middle ground.

In the Press
What the Papers Say
Britains Chief Rabbi endorses mothers at home. In a parting message to ministers, Lord Sacks said that the Government had not addressed the need to encourage marriage. He also said that the concept of multiculturalism, whereby cultures live alongside one another without integrating, had had its day and must be abandoned. His plea comes after anger from Conservative MPs that mothers who care for their children full time will miss out on a 1 billion scheme to help working parents with the cost of childcare. I think the Government has not done enough [to encourage marriage], he told The Times. Although I dont take a party political stance ... I dont think the Government has done enough at all. The State has an interest in marriage because the cost of family breakdown and non-marriage, the last time I looked at it, was estimated at 9 billion a year. [The Government] should certainly recognise marriage in the tax system, it should certainly give more support to mothers who stay at home, or for childcare provision. I dont believe in getting involved in the details, but the principle is pretty clear. The Times 19th August 2013 I despair of a Tory Party that bribes mothers to get others to take care of their children With truly eye-watering illiberalism, the Government is once again trying to hammer family life into a shape that millions of us would reject. It is expected to announce today that it will introduce an on-line voucher system that will subsidise up to one-fifth of childcare costs. The real downside of this childcare voucher is that it is a subsidy for working mothers alone. More than one million households in which mothers choose to remain at home to care for their children will get nothing. Far worse, this is part of a pattern in which such households are being punished financially. A few months ago, the Government cut child benefit for single-earner families whose income was 60,000 a year, while allowing dual-income families on 100,000 to keep it. It would seem, therefore, that ministers desire to push mothers into the workplace is so overwhelming that this effaces their other aim to soak the better off. Much, if not most, of the rise in the number of mothers working is not because they all want to do so. On the contrary, if they have young children, they often do not want to go out to work but find there is no alternative if the household bills are to be paid. Thats partly because of the financial discrimination against single-earner families of which the childcare voucher is but the latest example. Surely, policy should be even-handed towards those who want to work and those who want to care for children at home. The fairest way to rectify the states punitive treatment of marriage and oneearner families is through transferable tax allowances. Yet the Government has broken its 2010 manifesto commitment to introduce just such an allowance. It has thus betrayed single-earner families several times over. The Daily Mail 4 August 2013 I stayed at home because when I was a child my mother went out to work, for financial reasons not as a choice. I vowed the same would not happen to my own children. I knew what it was to return from school to a cold, empty house. I have spent as much time as I could enriching my children by my attention, and I feel they have benefited from it. Poole, Dorset SIR It was the last government that sent the cost of child care sky-rocketing. If parents had been allowed to maintain the informal system of child minding by friends and neighbours, then we would not be in such a mess now. The costs of the preschool curriculum, CRB checks and Ofsted inspections have turned bringing up children into an industry. Winchester, Hampshire SIR The exclusion of non-working mothers from child-care vouchers is just another indirect way of subsidising house prices. Many mothers have to work to pay their mortgages in this ludicrously overvalued housing market, which successive governments have encouraged in an attempt to create the illusion of prosperity. London SW10 SIR George Osborne, the Chancellor, wishes to help those wrestling with tight budgets. This is laudable. But how could households with a dual income of up to 300,000 possibly be finding it harder to make ends meet than a family with a single earner and a stay-at-home parent? Kibworth, Leicestershire SIR Has anyone considered the effect that luring mothers back to work could have on the rate of unemployment of younger people seeking to find jobs? Cockermouth, Cumberland SIR George Osborne considers that choosing to stay at home and bring up your children yourself is a lifestyle choice (report, August 6). But it is also a lifestyle choice to go out to work and pay someone else to look after your children. The same could be said of choosing to have children in the first place. I heard one mother complaining about the cost of child care and saying that it meant they might not be able to go on holiday. She should know that in the past we all had to make such sacrifices when our children were young. Sheffield, South Yorkshire SIR Research shows that the first three years of life shape a childs future for ever. This is ignored by policy makers who continue to devalue the importance of parents as the main providers of consistent loving care for their children. Sunninghill, Berkshire

Letters to The Telegraph

Below are a selection of letters sent to the Telegraph, which champion or highlight our cause. SIR As a stay-at-home mother, I feel constantly under assault at present; the loss of child benefit under an extremely unfair system, the fact that the tax system makes no allowance for a single earner family, and now this insult by George Osborne regarding lifestyle choices. Should society and the Government not be valuing a little higher the parents who choose to stay at home and care for their children? Who do they think helps in school, picks up other peoples children, bakes for the village fete and so on? Why is going to work deemed to be a better choice than staying at home to look after the children that I chose to have and whose upbringing I wish not to leave to others? Brampton, Cumberland SIR Before David Cameron came to power, he promised to reward those who help to mend broken Britain by giving married couples a tax incentive. He also said that mothers who stay at home give their children the most stable upbringing. No tax break for married couples has appeared. Moreover, those mothers who gave up a good career to look after their children are being doubly punished. First, they lose their child benefit if their husband earns 60,000 a year, and now they wont qualify for the child care vouchers. Mr Cameron should take another look at the Conservative manifesto and carry it out, before those who voted for the party because it espoused family values oust the Tories from office in two years time. Oakham, Rutland SIR I often joked with my husband that I would swap the tea and bath-time ritual with two toddlers for his commute home from London. Staying at home with young children is not an easy option, and in many cases not a lifestyle choice.

Home Alone - when your youngest starts school

eptember is a time of huge transition for mothers. I found my youngest starting pre-school surprisingly emotional. I was tempted to put CBeebies on when I arrived home on my own for the first time, just to have the familiar noise in the house, but I only had 15 minutes before I had to go back and pick up my very well-attached son.
Then theres school, secondary school (no more being seen at the school gate) or university (no contact for weeks). Some mothers actually stop working when their children start school because they have the 9am drop off and 3pm pick up, that employers arent so keen on. But for those of us who have been at home full time from the beginning, such as me, having your youngest starting school, as mine is, leads to all sorts of inner debate about what our role is during the school day. Personally, I have been through a number of internal revolutions as to how my life may change. My principal hope is that Ill get all my voluntary work done during the day and will be able to go to bed before midnight. Ive considered returning to work, only to remember that half terms, holidays, sick days and assembly days take up a lot of the year. Ive got a mental list of what Ill achieve during the day the first action point being to write the list down. Sorting photos is on there somewhere. Thanking people who helped with the school summer fair is high up on the list! Ive asked a number of Mothers at Home Matter supporters for their thoughts, and Im very grateful to all those who have replied. Debbie Potter My children need me just as much now as when they were little and Im just as busy if not busier. My three are 12, nine and five (going into years 8, 5 and 1). Teenagers and pre-teens are too old for child care but not quite old enough to be left alone for the day. Money doesnt come in to it. Kids clubs for that age group tend to run for an hour or two. They participate in lots of activities in the holidays and I even take their friends too but its the odd hour here and there, not a full time club. I think a lot depends on a childs position in the family with other siblings. I wouldnt leave my 12 year old alone all day as shes the eldest but I might leave my youngest

home alone when hes 12 as hell have 2 older siblings, if that makes sense. I think family dynamics come in to it. I spend just as much time with my children now as when they were little, just in different ways. Their needs change. They might not need a nappy change, feed, bath or plaster on the knee, but they need to talk about things instead, school news, friendships, worries, bullying, activities, arrangements, help with homework, the list is endless! Im so pleased I can be here for them 24/7 but yes there does seem to be a social expectation that mums will go back to work once the youngest is in school full time. Like children no longer need you because theyre at school for 6 hours a day and they suddenly become self-sufficient overnight!! Jenny McCarthy With five children life is pretty chaotic so no time at all to be bored. I also find I need to be around just as much for my teenagers. Keeping them on the rails is hard enough when you can be around! In any case they finish high school at 2.50pm and I wouldnt like them home alone every day, especially my almost 11 year olds due to start. My husband works very varied shifts and is often away Christmas day, their birthdays etc. I therefore feel it is only fair on them that at least one of us is here on special days. Also for one of us to attend assemblies, sports days etc. is very important to us. And of course the holidays. I love being here spending time with them and know they appreciate it. My 4 year old is cute and he says (with no prompting from me!) that I have a job in the house and dad has one at work. I KNOW I am doing the right thing for my family (not saying it is right for all) and that is all I need to know. Emma Cameron My children are 9 and 11 and my daughter is just about to start secondary school. I fully intended to go back to work before now but time has just flown by and I still have not found a job that fits around my family. I am always busy. I like the fact that I dont have to rush around and I always have time to do all my jobs. If I dont get something done it is not the end of the world. I am able to plan and be very organised. I watch modern women rushing around trying to squeeze too much into the day and I am glad I dont have to. It is not necessarily the most interesting job and I do feel isolated and lonely at times but I would not have it any other way. My children need me just as much if not more. I am always there to help with homework, take them to after school activities and talk to them about their days. I do feel a lot of pressure from friends and society in general to return to

work. One friend did tell me I could not waste another year not working and there is a perception that my degree has been wasted but as far as I am concerned, I am passing all that knowledge on to my children. Amanda Percival My youngest started school in September and it was still impossible to have time for anything but the boys as every time he fell/ refused lunch/threw up etc. I got the call to go to school. It was also my disabled sons transition into secondary which was very difficult and required lots of parental support. I suppose I feel a little redundant and all social activities have stopped as my life revolves around my boys. It was suggested that I applied for a dinner lady job at school which my other half was not happy about because he works in Germany as well as an hours drive away so cant be available like I can. Also my middle son broke his arm just under his shoulder so wasnt cast and had to stay home for weeks (gave me lots of time to nag him into doing his eleven plus prep). I do feel pressured though - like Im sat around watching telly all day when the reality is Im waiting for a call constantly while trying to declutter and paint everything in our house. I do feel like my identity is confused in a way - Im not full time mummy any more and my boys just dont need me like they used to. I also feel like I have nothing to offer an employer being unemployed apart from a few part time jobs for 13 years. Im not really sure who me is any more. Melissa Mallows My daughter is going into yr 3 next year. She regularly tells me that she doesnt want me to work as I already have a job looking after her and her little brother! I do a tiny amount of tutoring (2 hours usually on a Sat morning when their Dad is home, but an extra 2 during this holiday when theyre looked after by their very loved grandparents). If doing more interfered with our life I would stop. I think my daughter needs me at home just as much now as when she was 2 or 3. When she gets back from school she might just sit on her sofa bed and watch DVDs in her room, but she deserves some r&r after concentrating all day. Shes naturally conscientious and always tries hard, so I want her to come home and relax with me. Claire Paye

WAtCh? Lecture

am extremely grateful to Sir Denis, formerly one of the countrys most senior GPs, for allowing me to summarise part of his lecture to the charity of which he is President, What About the Children? (WATCh?).
WATCh? exists to raise awareness about the never-changing emotional needs of the under threes in our ever-changing society. Mothers at Home Matter share a friendly and mutually supportive relationship with WATCh? Much of the research they report on highlights the essential role that mothers play in the development of under threes. This lecture focusses on the importance of relationships and the stress caused when those relationships are disrupted. Sir Denis opens by highlighting the key relationships in a childs life, drawing on Dr John Bowlbys seminal work in describing attachment as the relationship a young child has with its main care-giver, usually the mother. At the time of writing (1951, 1958), Bowlbys research was an intellectually derived theory. However, since then, the discovery of hormones has helped to prove this theory. Sir Denis writes that a consistent, loving, parental relationship makes networks form in the developing brain which enable the child to handle stress in later life, achieve emotional self-control, and so relate sensitively to other people. These networks in the brain also influence emotional and physical health, such as obesity, in adulthood.

to have settled still had raised cortisol levels, although no one could tell this just by observation. There is some encouragement for mothers who have to work, in that the quality of parenting is still a more important factor predicting childrens development than whether they were in childcare or not. In fact, where the mother reported that she felt her paid job was of low quality and that she felt exhausted, the children who spent long hours in day-care had lower cortisol levels than those in day-care for shorter hours, suggesting that they found child-care less stressful than being at home. The reason stress is a problem is summarised in one study which states stress predicts brain change in children. It can damage the pre-frontal cortex of the brain, which is associated with an impaired control of emotions, and can be harmful to executive functions including control of inhibition, sustained attention, working memory and cognitive flexibility. This finding ties in with reports of increased aggression amongst children in primary schools, and even nurseries, as well as the reduced attentionspan of children. High levels of cortisol in childhood are manifested in gender-specific ways: They are related to anxiety in adolescent (my emphasis) girls and the release of testosterone in boys leading to externalising behaviour and aggression.

Sir Denis raises the frightening prospect that the associated loss of self-control and empathy from high levels of cortisol due to the stress of separation from parents in early childhood may actually start to be passed on from one generation to another, known as epigenetic change. It is therefore vital that the Government implements policies which lower childrens stress [such as not financially penalising mothers who stay at home to raise their children?! Ed]. Increasing hours spent in day care and reducing staffing ratios are unlikely to be in the childrens (and, therefore, societys) best interests. Sir Deniss conclusions include the fact that good parent-small child relationships protect the child from stress, especially in the first two years of its life. As a mother who did not have to use child-care, and was able to be with my children throughout their pre-school years, I am encouraged that their stress levels were lower (although mine may have been higher(!)) and that therefore they should have better attention-spans, better empathy (they definitely know when theyve upset me), less likelihood of becoming overweight, and, even, better immunity. For most small children, this lecture explains, day-care is really not ideal. Claire Paye

Sir Denis turns his attention The bulk of the lecture to what Government is taken up with a consistent, policy on childexploring the careshould be. He role of the stress loving, parental relationship calls for a Royal hormone, cortisol, Commission to study in children. It makes networks form in the the emotional and is well known that separating a developing brain which enable brain development of children under small child from the child to handle stress in three, as it is such a its mother causes vital time, to make stress in the child later life recommendations to with difficult boys Government. Whilst being particularly recognising that many vulnerable to psychosocial mothers need to work and do stress. Children aged 3-4 are enjoy work, his concern is what happens significantly more likely to have to their children, particularly under twos. raised cortisol levels if they are in day-care He states that formal day-care substitutes rather than at home. In addition, one study care by a parent who loves the child with care found that the effect of day-care attendance by someone who doesnt. By ignoring love, on cortisol was especially noticeable in we diminish motherhood, and parenthood, children younger than 36 months. One and discount one of their most precious fascinating study recorded that after five strengths. months in day-care, children who appeared

Copies of the lecture, Relationships and Stress The Goodman Lecture 2013 by Professor Sir Denis Pereira Gray, OBE President, What About the Children? are available to order. Please email info@mothersathomematter. co.uk if you would like one. You will be asked to send an A4 SAE. It really is worth having a copy to see the many references cited.

Book Reviews
gap in childrens lives [is] filled with consumer goods, including technological gadgetryand the inevitable screens. The first part of the book examines issues such as how our expectations of girls differ from our expectations of boys. As a mother of a boy and a girl, I was fascinated to read that even mothers underestimate their daughters ability to perform physical tasks. However, girls are actually often the stronger sex, particularly in health terms. My sons paediatric intensive care ward was full of boys, which the consultant confirmed was usually the case, as they dont have two X chromosomes to choose from when selecting physical features. Girls also benefit in terms of being better at eye contact, which is key for developing the deep emotional bond that psychologists call attachment, which in itself is crucial for many aspects of future psychological health. There are many reasons why mothers at home should buy and be encouraged by this book. Apparently, for girls to have the best possible chance of a good childhood and a fulfilling, happy, life, they need [their mothers] constant, consistent, one-on-one personal care during the first two years at least. For Sue, for most girls, early institutionalised child-care increases the danger of developing a compliant, risk-averse mindset. She also refers to the problem that children in long hours in nursery develop high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which this newsletter covers in the report on the talk by Sir Denis Pereira Gray at WaTCH. Its not just nursery that causes difficulties for girls, almost everything children need for healthy development is now at odds with the culture in which were trying to raise them. As many in the West dont lack food or clothing, Sue Palmer comments that the difficulty in a 21st century consumer culture isnt finding enough money to keep our children alive its finding enough time to give them a life. Again, the issue of time is at the forefront. However, in a chapter called Growing Girls, Sue focusses on a range of areas which are vital for the positive development of girls (and boys). These include, primarily, love, then also discipline, play and the ability to communicate. Having spent the first half of the book outlining the largely generic way in which girls develop, along with the challenges faced by our consumer culture, the second half focusses on very specific, contemporary, issues that girls in particular face, for example, the chapter on body image versus food. In this chapter, Sue covers the importance of mothers not passing on any concerns they have about their bodies, or any problems they have with food, as we are our daughters primary female role model. This chapter also highlights the many advantages of eating together as a family (without any screens on) not least because family mealtimes linked in many studies to childhood well-being and teenage mental health. Sue gives some helpful and encouraging suggestions for positive and calm mealtimes (which I paid close attention to although I dont always manage to apply them) and warns against the marketing gurus and the food producers who encourage children to ask for and enjoy processed, or ready-made food. Each of the chapters in this section ends with a timeline to help parents focus on what should be happening in their daughters lives at each stage of their development, and how specifically they can help. The chapters cover topics including play (keep screens out of bedrooms), fashion and friendships (including the problems of online friendships), confidence (how to resist the pressure to look and behave a certain way) and sex (too much sexualisation, too soon). Although there are many points highlighted in the book which make me feel oh dear, or good grief , on the whole I do feel better equipped to raise my daughter in todays world, as well as extremely relieved that Ive been able to be at home with her full time. In her conclusion, Sue discusses what makes a good mother. If you dont mind a spoiler, she says that it is being attuned to our babies or children, seeing the world through their eyes and sharing their experiences. I share my daughters experiences a great deal when she gets cross and shouts at me, I know exactly how she feels! Im not sure thats exactly what Sue means. However, a recent study has shown that highly attuned mothers raise more securely attached children, who can face all the challenges of todays society from a solid basis of love and acceptance. Personally, I feel that the best way to tune in to our children is to spend as much time with them as possible and not only to look at the society they live in through their eyes but also to help them see it through our older, hopefully wiser (particularly when weve read this book), eyes. Claire Paye

21st Century Girls How Female Minds Develop, How to Raise Bright, Balanced Girls and Why Todays World Needs them More Than Ever
by Sue Palmer
Published by Orion Books As the mother of a seven year old girl, I felt I couldnt miss this book, and I was right. Sue Palmer combines an insight into what makes girls tick with an insight into the challenges facing them in todays culture. I heard Sue Palmer speak at a Mothers at Home Matter (when it was called Full Time Mothers) open meeting and its clear throughout the book that she values the role of mothers at home very highly. This is because throughout her books focussing on childhood (including Toxic Childhood and 21st Century Boys), she highlights the importance of time spent with children as the key antidote to the pressures of todays world. Sue Palmer identifies the seismic change in the role of women, combined with the relentless rise of competitive consumerism and the digital revolution as leading to a huge change in the way we raise our children. In words that have been reflected much in the media recently, she says that as family life turned into family lifestyle, what has long been recognised as key for a good childhood, namely a strong relationship with both parents, has been lost. She laments that the mother-shaped

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to discover it). Here too you will find a history of how we reached our present false feminism, where women have been taught to ape men rather than become fully themselves. There is a fascinating account of how the celebrated anthropologist Margaret Mead was taken in by the pranks of a couple of Samoan girls. The early feminists Simone de Beauvoir, Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer each feature, but not always with a familiar voice. Would you recognise Friedan in: The equality we fought for isnt liveable, isnt workable, isnt comfortable in the terms that structured our battle. Or Greer in: I would argue that motherhood should be regarded as a genuine career option, that is to say as paid work, and as an alternative to other paid work. ... The immense rewardingness of children is the best-kept secret of the Western world. To put so much in one slim volume, and Mothering Matters with comprehensive notes and references The sources of love and how to ease the path of the generalist reader, is a fine accomplishment. our culture harms infants, What I treasured most was the case that women, and society Dr Cook makes, amply referenced, that By Dr Peter Cook true mothering is not only good for the Published by Freedom Publishing Company children but for the mothers, and the fathers, themselves. Mothering is not the Last year Katharine Boddy drew this same as fathering, as he makes clear, but remarkable book to our attention. I make where the mother does her job well, and no apology for recommending it to the father his, then the whole famyou again. It is in my view the ily thrives, and when the whole closest thing we have to a family thrives, society does MAHM handbook and too. should be on all our when the mother He even makes the case shelves. that breastfeeding alone does her job well...then makes a financial conThe book is the fruit the whole family thrives, and tribution to the GDP, so of a long professional much does it promote career in the field of when the family thrives, health and well-being child and family menin child and mother, and tal health. As a young society does too this should be recognised doctor in the 1950s, by the public purse. Dr Cook was seized by Dr John Bowlbys work on His reasoning is similar to infant-mother attachment. Bowlbys. Human beings need to be nourished emotionally as much as He went on to witness the results of physically for their health. They are depoor attachment daily in his surgery signed for love, and without it they shrivand became an impassioned advocate of el. I would add to this, harkening back preventative care or, as he also puts it, to the quotation from Greer cited above, for the promotion of what nature clearly that nobody can function without joy. intends in family life. He began writing This is where society has kidded women. what became this book in the 1970s, and They know that the love of a mother for it has matured over the succeeding deher child is unique, but they have been cades with full reference to other peoples told that they will not have the happiness research. they also desire stuck at home, that fulfilHere are many familiar names: Bowlby, ment is instead in the paid workplace. Dr Biddulph, Belsky,Tooley, and, yes, Patricia Cook takes this fallacy head-on, and he Morgan amongst them (if you dont know uses the latest research, including the scitheir respective work, this is the place

ence of the brain, to show why. One aspect of the book I found difficult. Dr Cook names evolution as a scientific theory, which is all it is, but he treats it as gospel whereas his account of Christianity and how its teaching on original sin has impacted upon family development is completely alien to me, a practising Christian. I think if he were to look at Pope John Paul IIs Theology of the Body, offered to all people of good will and not only to Catholics, he would find that Christian teaching can support all his own conclusions on family life without renouncing the reality of original sin. Dr Cooks book is sadly not published in the UK but is available from his native Australia on Amazon. Extracts from his work can also be downloaded from his website: http://www.naturalchild.org/peter_cook/ mothering_matters.html. Louise Kirk

Editors Note
I hope youve enjoyed reading this newsletter. Theres just space for me to point you to our website www.mothersathomematter. co.uk. We are still developing this, but there are many resources available to you here, including, under Resources Families and Money, several papers explaining why single income families are at such as disadvantage in the tax system. We also publish links to the latest news stories about mothers at home. We will continue to speak out in the media in favour of families being given a genuine choice whether to have a parent at home or not. We are delighted to have been offered a fully catered reception venue at a London hotel in November which will enable us to meet with significant decision makers and journalists to help promote our campaign. Thank you for reading and I hope you can join us on the 16th of October in London at our Open Meeting and AGM. Claire Paye

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New Members
We are delighted that over 350 new members have joined us this year welcome! This year in particular we have become the voice in the media for mothers at home full time. By joining us you are helping us to campaign for mothers to be able to stay at home full time to look after their children by eliminating the huge discrimination in the tax system against single income families. We aim to highlight a childs need for consistent, loving care by their mother or father and reject the Governments implication that childcare provides just as good a start for children as the care of their own parents. Please note that at the AGM we will be voting on raising the subscription rate in March 2014 for the first time in many years from 10 to 12.50 and introducing a couple rate of 15. Please consider paying by Standing Order to save on costs. If you pay by Paypal, MAHM has to pay 54p, so we lose over 5% of your fee. If membership doesnt suit you for whatever reason, but you would like to support us, please consider donating via our website.

COMMITTEE
Marie Peacock info@mothersathomematter.co.uk 07722 504874 Pat Dudley treasurer@mothersathomematter.co.uk 01737 832598 Lynne Burnham secretary@mothersathomematter.co.uk 01737 768705

Chairman

Treasurer

Secretary

Local groups and media contacts

One of our aims is to support mothers emotionally, by recognising their value in the home and in society. One of the ways we would like to do this is by encouraging the formation of informal, local groups. We are still discussing how to go about this so if you would like to email our info@ mothersathomematter.co.uk address with ideas, wed love to hear from you. At certain times (generally whenever the Government issues a policy relating to childcare and encouraging mothers to return to work) we receive a great deal of media interest. Local papers usually like to feature local mums. If you wouldnt mind being a case study, or commenting to your local media, please email us on secretary@mothersathomematter.co.ukso that we can add your to our media contacts list and give you some advice for dealing with media attention.

Membership Secretary
Sine Pickles 0208 2990156

Special Events
Anne Fennell 07957 232 504 Claire Paye

Newsletter Editor
media-claire@mothersathomematter.co.uk

Design Editor
Poppy Pickles

Media Enquiries
Lynne Burnham 07753 803 915 Laura Perrins 07708 664 974 Claire Paye 07972 727 544 Anne Fennell 07957 232 504

Mothers at Home Matter AGM

Wednesday 16th October 2013 10.30 for 11.00am The School of Economic Science 11 Mandeville Place (Tube, Bond Street) London W1U 3AJ AGM begins at 2pm following lunch. This year we have two renowned speakers, Dr Aric Sigman and Sally Goddard Blythe. For more details please see p 2 of the newsletter. Cost 12.50 including lunch. Bookings: Lynne Burnham 01737 768 705 secretary@mothersathomematter.co.uk

Other Committee Members

Rebecca Neal Sarah Douglas-Pennant

Fiona Castle, Lady Griffiths of Fforestfach, Oliver James, Patricia Morgan, Kathy Gyngell We always welcome new committee members. If you could spare the time to help us or would like to know more, please email Marie at info@mothersathomematter.co.uk Newsletter printed and distributed by am-pm design & print

Patrons

And finally...
The newsletter is our principal way of communicating with most members and we hope you find it encouraging and informative. We always welcome opinions and contributions, so do email in. If you would prefer to receive the newsletter by email instead of in paper format, please email secretary@mothersathomematter.co.uk. Alternatively, if you would like additional newsletters to pass on to friends to encourage them to join, please email info@mothersathomematter.co.uk Follow us on Facebook at Mothers at Home Matter Too and visit our website, www.mothersathomematter.co.uk

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