Edward Dame Mr.

Segal Non-Fiction, Honors 23 January 2014 Problem Code: QF 1/2 The short excerpt titles were not surrounded by quotation marks. Original: The authors of Meat also focus on the gross shortcomings of the meat industry. Corrected: The authors of Meat also focus on the gross shortcomings of the meat industry. Problem Code: QF 1/2 The short excerpt titles were not surrounded by quotation marks, Original: Meat cites a hidden video from a slaughterhouse that had highly disturbing contents. Corrected: Meat cites a hidden video from a slaughterhouse that had highly disturbing contents. Problem Code: QF 1/2 The title of the excerpt was cited rather than the authors name. Original: The video shows frustrated workers jumping up and down on the birds or picking them up and throwing them against the wall again (Meat 181). Corrected: The video shows frustrated workers jumping up and down on the birds or picking them up and throwing them against the wall again (Schlosser 181). Problem Code: QF 1/2 The excerpt title was cited rather than the authors name, and both are unnecessary. Original: When questioned about jumping on the chickens, one of the workers answered, I like to hear the popping sound they make (Meat 181). Corrected: When questioned about jumping on the chickens, one of the workers answered, I like to hear the popping sound they make (181). Problem Code: QF 1/2 The short excerpt titles were not surrounded by quotation marks. Original: While both Feedlot and Meat emphasize the effect on animals, each chooses a different approach. Corrected: While both Feedlot and Meat emphasize the effect on animals, each chooses a different approach. Problem Code: QF 1/2 The short excerpt titles were not surrounded by quotation marks. Original: Meat chooses to explore the struggles of the traditional rancher Corrected: Meat chooses to explore the struggles of the traditional rancher.

Problem Code: QF 1/2 The short excerpt titles were not surrounded by quotation marks. Original: Feedlot, taking a more scientific viewpoint, delves deeply into the effects of feedlot nutrition on a cow. Corrected: Feedlot, taking a more scientific viewpoint, delves deeply into the effects of feedlot nutrition on a cow. Problem Code: QF 1/2 The short excerpt titles were not surrounded by quotation marks. Original: Meat continues to appeal to the readers sympathies, choosing to talk about a farmer named Norah Smith, an indebted rancher. Corrected: Meat continues to appeal to the readers sympathies, choosing to talk about a farmer named Norah Smith, an indebted rancher. Problem Code: QF 1/2 The excerpt title was cited rather than the authors name. Original: Norah originally went into the business because she wanted to be an independent farmer (Meat 175), but found herself chained down to a corporation. Corrected: Norah originally went into the business because she wanted to be an independent farmer (Schlosser 175), but found herself chained down to a corporation. Problem Code: QF 1/2 The excerpt title was cited rather than the authors name, and both are unnecessary. Also had an unnecessary citation mid sentence. Original: She never owns the birds in her farm, (175) and Tyson decides how much to pay her. She has no control over the price of her birds (Meat 175) Corrected: She never owns the birds in her farm, and Tyson decides how much to pay her. She has no control over the price of her birds (175) Problem Code: QF 1/2 The excerpt title was cited rather than the authors name, and both are unnecessary. Original: Her dependence on Tyson is ironic given that ranchers were earlier declared as great symbols of American freedom who are being driven out of a market that no longer seems free (Meat 163). Corrected: Her dependence on Tyson is ironic given that ranchers were earlier declared as great symbols of American freedom who are being driven out of a market that no longer seems free (163). Problem Code: Under Unnecessary use of the word it. Original: It tries to make you end up feeling sorry for the poor rancher whos being taken advantage of by the big, bad corporation. Corrected: Schlosser tries to make you end up feeling sorry for the poor rancher taken advantage of by the big, bad corporation.

Problem Code: Upv (cut) Original: It tries to make you end up feeling sorry for the poor rancher whos being taken advantage of by the big, bad corporation. Corrected: Schlosser tries to make you end up feeling sorry for the poor rancher taken advantage of by the big, bad corporation.