Maria Jaryi English 0701 October 5th, 2009 C.

Rothschild Myth Busting Gender Stereotypes There is a popular assumption that women talk too much, more so than men. Many people wonder, is this a fact, or just another stereotype? Some people think that women are always the dominant speakers in conversations, while men are tolerant listeners. But is this really the case? There are always exceptions to certain assumptions, but were talking about stereotypes, even generalities. Men strive to be dominant in any scenario, not allowing the woman to grab control of them, as to show that theyre not weak individuals. In knowing this, its also safe to say that the stereotypes about gender communication are false, and males dominate conversations with women in any chance they get. Linguist Janet Holmes proves the age-old myth to be false in her article Women Talk Too Much. She states, despite the widespread belief that women talk more than men, most of the available evidence suggests just the opposite. When women and men are together, it is the men who talk most (300). In a study conducted by two Canadian researchers, Deborah James and Janice Drakich, women followed the stereotype of talking more than men in only two out of sixty-three studies. American, British and New Zealand researchers show evidence of males talking more than females in meetings, seminars, and business groups (300). Men are concerned about their power and status among peers more so than women, and thats why men tend to dominate public, formal contexts. Men were not as willing as women to have informal conversations, where they

would establish relationships and social connections. This goes to show that men worry about how theyre seen through the eyes of their audience, and they want to be seen as wise, powerful leaders. They dont care for making social connections or relationships with their peers, as long as theyre seen as the dominant male. Janet Holmes also argues that the degree to how much a woman talks is not whether or not they talk more than their peers, rather if the women talks at all. Women are expected by men to remain in the background of conversations, keeping their talking time to an absolute minimum. Men dont think of womens talking as important, but rather unfulfilling chatter. Damian Whitworth also found similar characteristics in his article Its Easy For Her to Talk, but this time in arguments, and not everyday conversations. Just like always, men constantly want to be in control of all of their conversations and they want to be the lecturers. But when the tables are turned and theyre being forced to listen to women, they retreat into their own caves. All couples disagreements are about power and control: whos going to come out on the top (9) Men shut themselves off once they realize that a women is talking, and refuse to deal with the situation. If they cant be the ones in control, they wont be involved at all. But if this is all true, then what about the females that always have more to say? The same females that cant answer a simple question without going off-topic at least four different times to make their point understandable. In his article No Detail Is Too Small for Girls Answering a Simple Question. Tony Kornheiser shows an example that everyone can relate to. He presents his children, daughter and son,

and how they communicate. Kornheiser tries to tell us that boys and girls are really worlds apart, and women just dont think life is as simple as men do (306.) Of course, Kornheisers daughter reminds us of females that cant carry out a direct answer, and bore us to death with details. However, what he doesnt realize is that its not just his daughters gender that contributes to talking too much. Its the fact that she is a 10 year old, and I have yet to meet a child who, when passionate about a certain topic, doesnt ramble for days. Kornheiser overlooks that bit of insight, and blames her talkativeness merely on her sex. When it all comes down to it, men want to discuss business, unlike women, who want to discuss personal lives and create connections with peers. Men see their conversations as a performance, and a competition, to see who comes out on top. In her article The Party Line, Rachel Rafelman mentions that males make an effort to avoid any expressions of emotions, as to avoid being interpreted as weak. In doing so, they fill up conversations with business-talk and since men are particularly competitive, it can get very uninteresting. Writer Allan Fotheringham even goes as far as to referring to that particular competitive chat as pecker stretching (318). Women learn from a young age that listening is an important aspect of communication, and when combining these two factors its easy to see how men can dominate talk time for women and bore their listeners. Further on, Rafelman argues that not giving women the respect they deserve when trying to speak is embedded in us. Our culture has taught us that historically, women were never clever enough to bother listening to (320). Which is what

Deborah Tannen evaluates in her article Ill Explain It to You: Lecturing and Listening. In her article she starts off with three different examples, all in which men are the ones instructing their own information to the women they were talking to. Since women are more concerned with building social connections, they are inclined to play down their expertise in conversations with men as to not upset them (324). In doing so, women essentially allow the men to take the floor for lecturing, and should expect such behavior commonly. And when women try to take over the floor and show expertise in an area, the females knowledge would insult males and spark resentment in them (325). Tannen suggests that women do in fact talk more than men, but what theyre saying when they talk is very different. Men would set the stage for the topic theyre discussing, offering opinions and ideas, and women would reflect on what the men said, agreeing or disagreeing (326). English professor Thomas Fox studied groups of people and found a style that was typical of women and men apart. The womans style, which he calls Ms. M, played down her knowledge, such as the other authors suggested, as to not offend her classmates. The males style, Mr. H, was the polar opposite. Mr. H spoke with a clear tone, showed confidence and clarity in what he knew and was eager to dominate his peers to inform them of what he knew (327). The way that these two styles differ shows which one is more likely to dominate conversations and talk more. There is a significant difference in how different sexes view the act of talking. Women shy away from being leaders, in fear of being insensitive and hurting others.

Men stray away from being reserved and quiet, as to not show weakness. When combining the two in a male-to-female conversation, the results arent very shocking.

Works Cited

Holmes, Janet. "Women Talk Too Much." Exploring Language. 11. (2007): 299-304. Print. Kornheiser, Tony. "No Detail Is Too Small for Girls Answering a Simple Question." Exploring Language . 11. (2007): 305 -07. Print.

Rafelman, Rachel. "The Part y Line." Exploring Language . 11. (2007): 316-21. Print.

Tannen, Deborah. "'I'll Explain It to You': Lecturing and Listening." Exploring Language . 11. (2007): 322 -33. Print.

Whitworth, Damian. "Its Eas y for Her to Talk." Times Newspaper 2007: pg. 9. Print.