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Talitha Nascimento Creative Writing 10/8/2013 Twists Theres not much to my story because nothing interesting really goes

on in my life. Im just a boy who wants to get out of here. I dont understand the meaning of why Im here or my purpose in this corrupted world. I dont have many friends to encourage me and tell me, Itll all be okay, Eli. Its just a phase, Eli. I wish that were the case, but Im alone. Im alone in this world. I look forward to summer because all I have to do is stay home and not be a burden upon anyone. When I am in school, I see everyone around me of all different ethnicities having fun. Even the kids who arent socially accepted have at least one friend. Why am I the odd one out? I know Im depressed, but I want to know if I have a diagnosis. Ever since my mother was diagnosed with cancer and my father got sent to prison. He killed a guy due to the power of envy. My dad had no reason to kill the guy, he was just jealous of what the guy had. He had money, a wife and kids. Im sure my father hated me, but I did absolutely nothing to deserve his hatred. Its not like my mom was really there for me and Im not that kid who dresses like an emo kid either. Im that kid who everyone finds mysterious and wants to know my story. I have no idea why no one wants to come up and talk to me. I feel as if I come across a bit intimidating. Im not mean to anyone, but I do kind of stare people down. I stare people down because I like to see how happy others are. I wonder why Im not happy and how I can become happy like them. They stare at me back as if I was the bad guy. It amazes me how this world is so good at playing judge and jury. We look at others and judge them because of a small pimple they get on their

face. People need to understand that they have gotten a pimple at least once in their life and this one imperfection makes us perfect in a way. I wake up and slowly open my eyes. I sigh thinking about another day in this hellhole we call school. Can I just kill myself already? Nobody would miss me anyway. I glance at my alarm clock hoping Id have more time to sleep. I pound the alarm with my fist just to get it to shut off. I lie there and close my eyes for just five more minutes. Crap. Its 7:45. I slept in when I should have been up by 6:45. I can give you a play-by-play on how my day is going to go: Im going to walk up to the bus and greet the expressional bus driver who definitely hates his job. We arrive at school and Im going to walk through the doors to my school in my black jeans and a black smelly shirt because I hadnt had the time to wash it. With all the thinking I have had, I hadnt had any time to do anything. Im going to walk into class and get a detention since Ive been late about 14 times this week. There was no reason I had been late, I just felt as if school was pointless. In my opinion, school is for those who have a goal and want a career. This is for those who are determined to achieve what they can and continue their glorious life here on earth. School is not for me. Im going to come back home, throw my backpack on the floor, and not even bother about doing my homework since Id be attempting suicide for the 12th time. Why cant I just end this day already and not have to go through this? No ones home, my moms at the hospital getting treatment for leukemia, and I dont even know if shes gonna survive. We found out the cells were rapidly growing and spreading throughout and it was too late to even consider her survival. I use my right hand to raise myself from my bed; its just so damn comfortable compared to carrying around a ten pound bag everywhere I go. I make my way to the bathroom, and Im sure the water is cut off because my mother is not able to pay the bills. I cant really work because there are not many options for me at fifteen. I initiate a stare down

between me and the rusty razor blade on top of my sink. The razor won. Its time. I gripped my dark black razor and pressed it against my left wrist going deeper and deeper. I just want to hit a nerve and die. Please, I cry. I collapse on the floor, taking in the pain. I continue to press the razor into my wrist as I lay here. The floor feels so cold, my hands are starting to freeze up, and my heart is pounding. I feel the blood being sucked out of my body and this feels like an everlasting death. Did I mess up my destiny or was my fate supposed to be this bad? I shut my eyes just for a moment and next thing I knew, I was in a room full of men. I was lying in a hard cold bed. It sort of felt like those dentist chairs youd sit in to get your teeth checked out only to tell you that one more cavity has appeared. They were all standing around me as if I was being sacrificed. I see six strange men glaring around me. They were all wearing a white dress with bare feet. They reminded me a bit of stereotypical monks dressed in brown. They had a glowing halo floating on their head, at one point I wanted to smack it off their head. I was in a plain white room with nothing else on the walls or on the floors. The floors had white tiles and everyone in the room was white. I opened my mouth to speak but before I said a word, the Youre in the spirit world. You ended your life, Eli. Youre not here to be questioned; youre not here to feel pressure or anything. Your life is ended, youre done. If you would like to know how people are taking it, you may see in this viewing screen. The man in white responded quickly. He was bald and seemed to be the only guy who was able to speak. He had such a deep voice that resonated in my mind and in this empty room. How long have I been you know, dead? I wanted to know before I saw the video. I was preparing myself for the worst and that no one would care about me. Im curious about how my mother is handling this situation. Shes still at the hospital, Im sure she got the notice that I had been dead.

About a month, but your spirit just arrived here at its full. It was in its process of fully getting here to achieve your spirit. You resurrect and regain your full body when Jesus begins the millennium. When Jesus comes to earth, which you may know as the second coming, He will personally reign upon the earth for this period of 1,000 years. When you die beforehand, your body is taken to the spirit world. The spirit world is the time to agree to learn about these gospel teachings of the true church of Jesus Christ and seek for forgiveness. If you choose not to recover your spirit, Jesus Christ will judge you during Judgment day. During the Millennium, a lot of people will not have received the gospel so people who are part of the Church of Jesus Christ will teach these people what they know. The man seems to be very convincing, but I dont feel dead. I feel like a regular person, although I didnt feel suicidal anymore, which probably meant I was dead. I thought the Heaven or whatever this is was not real. The afterlife has television? How do they get cable? I have so many unanswered questioned. What the hell was I wearing? I had a white robe on, Im no debby downer but this is definitely not something Id wear. The flat screen rolled flew in; the first thing I see is mother. The man began to show me all the people who have come across in my life; the people who do not care. My mother was crying hysterically, hitting herself. She is yelling, Why didnt you take me, God? Why did he do it? Why? At least my mother cares But I was right about one thing. The kids who always picked on me on the bus are laughing hysterically and having a party. No one else cared. All my teachers continued teaching the kids who didnt even know my name. They all had blank expressions. Wait a minute an announcement on the intercom is coming on, In remembrance of Eli Ryan who died on November 23rd at 8:02 am, we would like to remain quite for a short two minutes. Everyone remained quiet, I could tell that is the vice principals voice, Jenny Lee. I knew she

was forced to say such thing. When anyone dies theres always a moment of silence for them, so its not like Im anyone special. There was a time two years ago when this girl who no one had heard of because she was so quiet and secluded had committed suicide. Her name was Autumn Nicolette. Everyone remained quiet. The television showed every student remaining quiet, some began to cry. They didnt even know who I was, so why are they wasting their time crying? Shut it off, now. I demanded. I dont want to see any more of this. Everyone is bullshitting and lying to themselves, no one even knew who I was. Why are they shedding tears? To show people they cared? Could you possibly show me the day of the funeral? I asked politely. I didnt want to sound rude; after all, they seemed like angels. The man grabbed his special black remote control and fast forwarded to my funeral. My funeral partook at the Central Cemetery in New Haven. Lots of my family Id never talk to were there, my mother was even there. I thought she would be in the Hospital bed since shes so far into chemotherapy. How come she wasnt lying in the hospital bed? She should be taking care of herself and not worrying about me. A lot of kids from school were sobbing, mostly girls, maybe to show sympathy for me, but they never even talked to me. They were all huddled up in a group listening to my life story. My life story included pictures of me as an infant up to my profile picture on Facebook. See how many people really care about you? The man asked me. I began to question if I should have really committed suicide. Its strange how people dont even care until were gone, what is their mindset? I just really feel for my mom. Am I going to Hell? I asked. I heard so many rumors of people going to Hell if we committed suicide. The man just smiled and said with assurance, Our Lord, Heavenly Father will decide that for you. Now I knew, there was no Allah, there was no Buddha, it was God; the Christian

God. The man was leading me out the tall door with the men following behind me. He opened the door and I see many spirits like I floating, waiting out there for Judgment Day. The floors we stand upon are clouds. I wonder why we dont fall through onto earth. I wonder how far up this is in the galaxy. I see various people; little kids, mothers, fathers, soldiers who have died in war. They were all here, and they were like me. Nothing hurts; no one is smiling or frowning. We are all here patiently waiting. I wonder how long these people have been here waiting. I was standing at the doorway with the men looking at me to see what I was going to do next. A little girl with straight hair comes up to me and said, Welcome to this world, its not as bad as Earth, but we are all friends. I felt welcomed and accepted here. We were all the same; we all died for a reason. I wonder if there were any who have committed suicide. I wandered off into the distance to check out what was going on. I look around at the sky, and I see beyond worlds up there. I wonder what those worlds are. The man in grabbed me and yelled, Hey! You belong with the category of people who ended their own lives. Go down that path and youll know where to go. He pointed down this long narrow path surrounded by trees and people trying to make their way out of the path, but a force stops them from getting through. I just see spirits begging for forgiveness before they are judged. After all, Judgment day could be any single day from what I know. I slowly walk through this forest with trees all around me. I had wondered what would happen if we strayed away from this path and into the forest. Would we get lost? Would we go to a different place? There were many small animals hanging on the trees of all kinds that I have not seen in my earthly days. Maybe they died too. I walked into a place where it felt warm and comforting. I looked around because everyone was walking past me and not even turning their heads to notice me. It wasnt heaven, but it sure looked a lot better than earth. No one looked totally depressed but this is where I belong. There were many people varying from

age to age. I am standing in this one spot in awe at all these people. I glance over to my right and see this beautiful girl who looks about my age. She has long blonde hair. I stare at her for a while and soon it became a staring contest. Her and I stared at each other for the longest time. She smiled. She looked exactly like Autumn Nicolette but with zero flaws. This girl was beyond gorgeous. People were walking in between us but I dont care, I kept on staring. I snapped back to consciousness when a long and leanly muscular boy steps up to me and says, Hey! He sounded pretty angry, but I wasnt sure so I replied with a simple, Hey. I wish I had the balls to go up and ask her for her name. Can we build relationships in the spirit world? I slowly walk over the girl and she looks at me and begins to walk away. Am I really that ugly? Oh, come on. Hey! I shout, Wait up! She seems to walk faster but a guy about seven feet steps in my, way pushes me back and says, Hey, are you trying to talk to her? Do you know her? You must be new here, because no one talks to her but me. I said to him, Are you really threatening me? Dude, we have no bodies, were already dude. Whatcha gonna do? I walk past the guy and glare at the girl; she has tears in her eyes. She looks so frightened, I introduce myself. Hey, Im--I stop there because I forget my name. She smiles and says, We should talk alone. All of this is escalating so quickly, first a guy stops me from talking to her, and now she wants to talk to me. I notice the guys facial expression and he is ANGRY. I brush my shoulder against his and walk with this beautiful girl. I stare at her and she asks, So, you new? I just stare at how perfect this girl is. Is this woman even legit? She is BEAUTIFUL. Helloooo, earth to new guy? She waves her hand in my face. I come out of this trance she puts me in. Hey, yeah Im here, I-Im new. So you killed yourself, huh? Yup.

Why? Life sucked and I just wanted to get out of that place. I couldnt take it; I pressed a blade deep into my skin and just felt it. Next thing I knew, I was at this place with strange men. Honestly, I felt like I was going to be raped. She laughed at my joke. She laughed at my joke. She laughed at my joke. No one ever laughs at things I say. Of course, rape is nothing to make fun of, but she laughed. Yeah, I had no friends. Everyone was telling me I needed to kill myself. She explained. How come? I was so shocked this girl is gorgeous, how could she not have any friends? Girls were jealous of me and just bullied me to death, and hey here I am. Now every single person feels bad. Whats your name? Autumn Nicolette Forte. Autumn Nicolette. This was Autumn Nicolette; the girl I had been deeply in love with is is here! This is a dream come true, I must be dreaming. Autumn, Its me, Eli Williams, I was so hoping she had remembered me, From school. Just as her eyes widened up to say something, the whole image of this had started to fade. Autumn had started to fade, the people around me walking around started to fade. I was gradually setting myself away from this place I had been in. Everything looked as if they were digitally malfunctioning like a TV.

I heard someone calling my name from afar. I looked around and noticed my mind was leaving this glorious place. My mind was leaving, no please stay here. Please stay here. I dont want to go anywhere; I wanted to reconnect with Autumn Nicolette, I didnt even say goodbye. I slowly wake up, hoping this is all a dream; I just want to be dead. Please, kill me. I try to hold my breath, but nothing. Im hooked up to so many machines and some mans face is in my face. Im assuming hes a doctor because he dressed up in a white robe with a stethoscope wrapped around his neck, am I not dead? Im back in reality. I try to say something but I cant find the words to speak out. Hello, Eli, The doctor says quietly, Welcome back. You were gone a while, but now youre here. We were able to save you. I widened my eyes and shook my head. Youre safe now. Everything is okay. I look down at my arm and my arm is bandaged up, I immediately go to remove it but the doctors stop me. You were in the wrong place for a while, Eli. I doubt it. I saw you all. Youre back now. He said. He was not serious.. This cannot be happening, I want to find that gorgeous girl and live happily ever after, please. I cant do this anymore, everyone hates me. Why am I here? I dont deserve to be here. I just fall asleep so that I could try to go back to where I was, but I have a feeling God didnt want me there. No one wants me there. Just proof, God doesnt even want me. By the looks of this, I am in a hospital and they are going to keep me there because of my suicide attempt. I fall into a deep sleep but the doctors wake me up, as Im really tired and I wake up in a room that is labeled, question room. I am feeling an insane dj vu, as if Id been here before. Then I look back and think the afterlife. Welcome to Hell, Eli.