10 Rules To Make Long Distance Relationships Work by Eddie Corbano 495 1.

Have A Relationship Plan For The Future Know where you are heading. Have a light at the end of the tunnel. Have a light at the end of the tunnel What do you want to accomplish in you partnership? Have goals and a time frame w hen you want to be together. It is very important that you both have a hope to l ive for. Have a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that this is the most common reason why some long distance relationships don t work: they don t have a plan, they just hope it will turn out right, that a m iracle is going to happen. Certainly this also means you have to make sacrifices . At least one of you. Realize that you most likely only have three options: she moves to him, he moves to her or both move to another place. Start talking about it as soon as you rea lize that you want to be together. The biggest mistake you can make is to hush i t up. 2. Meet Regularly Try to see each other every month at least once. Plan this ahead and include som e activities, like town visits, museums, a weekend in a fancy hotel, etc. Make i t a celebration, an explosion, something very special! Soon this short meetings will be something you long for, something that you will align your life at. Remember, you only get a real connection by touching, feeling and smelling a per son. You don t get scent with email or skype, or that initial wow you feel inside when you see your love. So do everything you can to meet at least once a month. 3. Use Modern Technologies To Communicate You need all the help you can get, so why not using the glorious benefits of a m odern communication world: Get an e-mail account if you do not have one and write at least one e-mail to ea ch other every day Use Skype or something similar to talk to each other for free. Believe me, it s aw esome watching a movie together while simultaneously talking on Skype Use Instant Messaging (I recommend the Yahoo Messenger) Use digital photographs and videos of your daily activities and send them via email Use a webcam (this I can highly recommend) Using all this electronic stuff will make it much easier for you both. Imagine h ow it used to be 100 years ago, when a letter used to take months. 4. Give Yourselves A Free Day This one-sided communication I mean with no physical interaction can sometimes f rustrate very intensively. It is possible that this frustration then comes to co nflicts between you as an outlet for it. This could lead to misunderstandings th at are very difficult to resolve per e-mail. Believe me one thing, you do not wa nt to have a fight over e-mail or phone.

I then found it very helpful to insert a day or two without any communication. W hat then happens is that you miss each other very intensively and you usually fi nd yourselves at a more higher level than you were before. If the only way of interaction between you is canceled for a day or two, you wil l either progress or doubt. In any case you will know where you stand. This is a lso a good way to test your long distance relationship. 5. Write Extensive And Intimate E-mails The most important thing here is: be honest! Open yourself up completely. Write about your inner state, what you are feeling, what you dream about, what you hope for. As a rule of guidance: describe in you r e-mails your inner state and in your phone-calls your outer state. Writing is more intense than verbal communication and allows you to be more intimate. That will create a tighter bond between you. The most important thing here is: be honest! Don t pretend you are someone you are not. Don t put yourself in a better light. Long distance relationships only have a chance if both are completely honest and congruent. 6. Send A Written Letter Once In A While Do not underestimate the marvelous feeling, when you look in your letter box and find a letter from your love, open it and see his/her writing. This is a pleasu re we often forget about in this modern times. Not to mention that it s far more r omantic. 7. Beware Of Jealousy Jealousy is a very dangerous thing and can threaten every long distance relation ship. Jealousy is commonly a lack of trust and understanding. It very often reve als insecurities and bad experiences in other relationships. The keyword here is simply: trust. You cannot control and observe your partner, you only can have faith in your relationship and in the things you build togethe r in the times you had. Hold on to that and never give in to that green eyed mon ster. Jealousy is one of the most negative and destructive emotions there is! Listen t o Shakespeare: O, beware, my lord, of jealousy It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger But, O, what damned minutes tells he o er Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves! 8. Avoid Dangerous Situations

As mentioned before, trust is essential. If you completely trust your partner an d also have faith in your relationship, you can pretty much do what you want wit hout endangering your relation. However, I nevertheless recommend avoiding some specific situations. Of course it depends on the person, but I would not date th e opposite sex alone, or go to wild parties. Simply avoid temptations that could distract you from each other.

Better safe than sorry! 9. Never Lose Faith People will tell you that long distance relationships never work. Don t listen! Watch out, you will meet a lot of skepticism. People will tell you that long dis tance relationships never work, especially those who have had negative experienc es about it. Don t listen to them. People tend to negate things they failed on. Listen to me: it can definitely work, but you both have to believe it. Check out my article on achieving goals. 10. Always Stay Positive Always assume that your partner loves you and cares about you. Never assume anyt hing negative, whether you read something in his/her e-mails or you disliked how he/she made a weird comment on something. Don t interpret to much in it. The problem with non-face-to-face communication is the lack of facial expression . It is so easy to misinterpret but unfortunately much harder to trust and stay positive. I assure you, if something was wrong, you will know it. As you can see, I m definitely positive about long distance relationships. They ex pose ongoing life lessons, and prove that love, loyalty, and faith are the vital ingredients to a lasting relationship. Have faith, have trust and you both will succeed in the end. Your friend, Eddie Corbano