17 Things You Should Never Say To Your Boss

17 Things You Should Never Say to Your Boss | LinkedIn
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Dave Kerpen
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17 Things You Should Never Say to Your Boss

September 23, 2013
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"Leave me alone!" I said it to my boss at Radio Disney many years ago. I was a young, very high-performing salesperson, and he was my sales manager. Even though I was generating huge sales numbers, I was often late to work, or meetings, and every morning, as I passed by his ofce, he would look down at his watch and shake his head disapprovingly. I knew I was wrong to be late, but I got increasingly frustrated by his looking down at that watch, his complaints to me, and his lack of positive recognition about my sales accomplishments. So one day, after coming in at 9:05, just 5 minutes late, and seeing him look down at that watch again, I marched right into his ofce and told him to leave me alone. I got sent home that day by my boss. We eventually mended things, and came to an understanding about how important punctuality was to him, and how important positive feedback was to me. But our relationship was never totally mended. Fifteen years later, now I am a boss, and have had my share of interesting things said to me. I believe all leaders and managers should try to keep an open mind and encourage open communication from all of their reports. Still, perhaps there are some things better left unsaid? To nd out the answers to this question, I asked 17 young "bosses" -- leaders from The Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC) -- what the worst thing they'd ever been told is. Here are their answers, or what not to say to your boss, followed by my own personal answer to the question:
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4/5/14, 8:52 PM
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In China, it is very common for a lot of employees to work just for the money. This means they will leave if you fail to give them a raise or if their peers start to make a lot more money than they do. Our interview process has ltered this as much as possible but if we hear through the "grapevine" that the person is just doing the job for the money we will let them go very quickly. - Derek Capo, CEO and Founder, Next Step China 2. 'You Never Told Me to Do It' When something important doesn't get done, the worst thing you can say is, "You never asked me to do it." There are few better ways to neglect yourself of that promotion, a raise, or even job security. - Ken Cauley, President, Advanced Media . . 3. 'There's Something Wrong' It's easy to complain about what's wrong. It's hard to come up with solutions to x the problem. My former manager at LivingSocial said, "Be a problem solver, not spotter," and I've taken this advice to heart in my everyday life. If you see a problem, don't address the situation with what's wrong; address the situation with an answer. If you don't have a real solution, wait until you do. - Sarah Ware, Markerly . . 4. 'I Want to Do What's Easiest' We have a client who had an employee literally explain that he would rather do a particularly menial task than the task that the employer had assigned because it would be easier for him. We were shocked. This is the most explicit way to alert your boss that you don't care about improving your skill set without directly telling him. Never do this if you care about your career! - Patrick Conley, Founder / CEO, Automation Heroes 5. 'That Takes Up Too Much Time' Through the years, we have had many operational restructurings that have required large amounts of data to be ltered and edited or re-formatted in some manner. There's nothing worse than an employee who complains about the amount of time required to move the company to the next level. - Laura Land, CFO / COO, Accessory Export, LLC . 6. 'I Could Be Doing Other Things' Bratty much? Don't complain about your job. If you hate it, quit. If there's something wrong with it, nd a way to x it. If someone or something is really ticking you off, don't project your anger onto others, especially not your boss. If it's a good job, be grateful for it. If you want more out of your job, make it happen. Be diplomatic
2 of 10
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- Danny Wong, Co-founder, Blank Label 7. 'I Promise to Do That' Don't ever tell your boss you're able to do something if you know you may not be able to deliver. It is better to be honest, ask for advice and have a proactive attitude. If you fail to deliver, then it has negative repercussions for the business, which is taken much more seriously. - Christopher Pruijsen, Co-Founder / Partnerships, Afrostart.io . 8. 'It's Too Difcult' I get red up when someone is paralyzed and doesnt complete a task because its difcult or because few others have done it. Were a disruptive company that has to innovate, that has to do things few have done before us. One of my advisors here has a quote: If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. We wont win if we dont think big. - Marcos Cordero, Chief Gradsaver, GradSave, LLC . 9. 'I Agree to Disagree' Whether it is said explicitly or passive-aggressively, this mindset has no place in startup culture. Those who have this mindset should either found their own startups or go work in big corporate America where this goes unnoticed. At a startup, you're either all the way in or all the way out. - Danny Boice, Co-Founder & CTO, Speek . 10. 'I Don't Have an Opinion' The people who just sit and nod their heads are the ones who are expendable. If you want to make an impression as a valuable member of the team, offer your insights. No one ever agrees with his boss 100 percent all the time, so make your opinion known if you have something worth saying. - Nick Friedman, President, College Hunks Hauling Junk and College Hunks Moving 11. 'I Can't' I dont want to hear excuses ever! We focus on hiring can-do, positive, creative employees with passion, drive and determination. - Kuba Jewgieniew, Founder and CEO, Realty ONE Group . . 12. 'I'm Not Optimistic' The most important thing for any team member is to stay optimistic. Being a pessimist and doubting the future of the company is a real downer. There is nothing wrong with being realistic; however, people who are melancholy suck the life out of an early-stage company and cannot last long.
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. 13. 'I'm Clocked Out' There is nothing more discouraging to an entrepreneur than when an employee says he is not willing to go the extra mile because he isn't "clocked in." We remind our employees that they work for a young company and they are in control of their own careers. Acting within the status quo never gets you to the top! - Darren Solomon, President, Kid Ventures . 14. 'That's Not My Responsibility' Its critical that everyone feels invested in the success of all areas of the business. Everyone should be willing to pitch in, even if whats required isnt part of their normal day-to-day activities. - Robert J. Moore, Co-Founder and CEO, RJMetrics . . 15. 'That's Not My Job' Your responsibilities aren't limited to what was listed in your original job description -- especially at a startup. Unless your boss is asking you to do something illegal or unethical, you should do it. - Mary Ellen Slayter, Founder/Managing Director, Reputation Capital . . 16. 'I Don't Like Working for Other People' An employee actually told me that he didn't like working for other people. That person doesn't work for me anymore! - Andrew Angus, CEO, Switch Video . . 17. 'I'm Not Working Hard' I never want to know that someone who works for me isnt working hard. People can disagree with me, and Im ne to hear criticism. Ill never lose respect for anyone because he disagrees with me or because they failed. I dont want to know if someone is giving less than their best effort or that someone lied. I have high expectations of people when it comes to their work ethic. - Dries Buytaert, Co-founder and CTO, Drupal ----As for me? I can actually handle, even encourage, most of the statements above being said to me, because as long as they're honest, they'll help me build a better company and help my employees nd their place, either at one of my companies or elsewhere. I'd rather know what people really think, so I encourage people to feel comfortable saying anything to me. The one thing I think you should never say to me or your boss? A lie. I've written before about the importance and power of honesty. In employee - manager relations,
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Always tell the truth to your boss, and never tell a lie. Lies are too risky - not only to your relationship with your boss, but to your relationship with yourself. ----Now it's your turn. What's the worst thing you've ever said to your boss? What's the worst thing you've ever been told at work? What do you think the worst thing someone can say to a manager is? Which of the above statements do you agree with, and disagree with? Please let me know in the Comments section below. . . Don't just sell it, storytellit! . If you liked this article, you will LOVE my new book, Likeable Leadership, a collection of 65 inspirational stories on marketing, your career, social media, and more! How to Get Everything You Want. Seriously Dave Kerpen is the founder and CEO of Likeable Local. He is also the cofounder and Chairman of Likeable Media, and the New York Times bestselling author of Likeable Social Media and Likeable Business, and the just-released Likeable Leadership. To read more from Dave on LinkedIn, please click the FOLLOW button above or below. The Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC), is an invite-only organization comprised of the world's most promising young entrepreneurs. In partnership with Citi, the YEC recently launched #StartupLab, a free virtual mentorship program that helps millions of entrepreneurs start and grow businesses via live video chats, an expert content library and email lessons.
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5 of 10
4/5/14, 8:52 PM
What is LinkedIn? CEO at Pearls.com | Chief Marketing Ofcer | Chief Digital Strategist | E-Commerce Leader | Social Media Expert I nd it interesting that some of the 17 statements are mutually incompatible in my viewpoint. E.g. don't say "I promise to do that" if you can't... but don't say "I can't" either. In sum total, I feel vaguely bad for employees faced with what is, in many ways a stew of mixed messages. Again, I understand it's the nature of this question, but (especially if you're not allowed to be "in it for the money") why should employees be charged up, motivated, gung-ho and energized at all times? Why shouldn't they "clock out" sometimes and recharge/have a life? Why aren't they allowed to have periods (we all do) of not being optimistic? Is it really so bad to "agree to disagree" versus lying and being a "yes-man" when you don't in fact agree? Heck, I've said that one myself... to CEO's in fact: "It's your decision and I'll go execute it like a demon, but I'm not going to tell you I agree with it when I don't." On that latter note, I think Dave actually nails it in his summary: honesty trumps all and I'd always rather hear the truth than "what I want to hear"... In some ways, taken in aggregate and no disrespect to those who shared, the list of 17 almost creates a "just lie to me, okay?" scenario. I'd much rather have an employee admit to being pessimistic (right now), to being "clocked out" (right now) or even to being just plain tired, than get happy-peppy fake talk. All those things I can manage to success. But bright, chipper, positive, "sure thing boss!" energy that's actually BS covering the real humanity of getting tired, getting down, getting frustrated or just simply not agreeing? This eventually falls apart no matter what.
Like (2,177) Reply (94) 6 months ago
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Koen Theunis Hospitality Consultancy; concept development / start ups / operations management Some of these statements above make me laugh. If you would follow all 17 of them, an employee is just there to be told what to do at the employers' orders. Not exactly an encouraging or motivating environment to work in IMO. Although I agree that some of the comments will not be helpful to your career if you are ambitious, but not everybody in your company is as ambitious as you are. The fact that they have been hired as a full time employee means that their interest in the company is very different from that of the owner / boss / entrepreneur. The biggest mistake that young entrepreneurs make these days is to expect of their team that they have to be as committed as they are..... If someone wants to be as committed as you, they would set up their own company. Some people have a life outside work (i.e. family) and that is why they decided to work for a boss. Another observation I made reading the article and looking at the pictures and the jobtitles, is that every single one of them doesnt seem to be over 35 years old (with some of them probably much younger) and that is probably where the problem lies: inexperience to manage assertive employees and failing to see things from your employees point of view. The fact that some of these entrepreneurs actually state "if you dont like it you can leave", is testament to their immaturity and inexperience in dealing with a group of people. So my advice would be as follows: instead of trying the be the tough guy and live by these "17 commandments", it would be much wiser and productive to create an environment whereby the employee can actually bring up the frustrations of their job so that you can work on building a productive team instead of letting people go because they may have hurt your ego.....
Like (619) Reply (38) 6 months ago
John Foley Keynote Speaker / Founder & CEO @ John Foley Inc. Love this list! Great nuggets of wisdom can be distilled out of each of these things. Anybody see some that I missed? 1. Do it for a purpose larger than self. 2. Be proactive; take initiative on the important tasks 3. "Address problems with an answer" 5. Change is difcult; be willing to put in the effort at each hump. 6. Work with a grateful mindset. 7. Make realistic contracts w/ your colleagues 8. Don't accept failure before you try. 10. Invest your honest opinions; don't bite your tongue. 12. Always believe in the possibility of success. 15. Direct your efforts toward team & company goals. 16. Make every day your best day.
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4/5/14, 8:52 PM
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Joshua Render Computer Nerd I have problems with Number 3 and number 13. To number #3: "There's something wrong" Not everyone is going to be able to solve a problem. What I get from her take on this is if someone doesn't notice a problem and can't solve it, its better to sit on it and not say anything. I think this is wrong. You may not be able to solve a problem, wouldn't it be better to make the problem known and get the right people on the job to solve the problem? I would rather a problem be known then "Surprise!" a problem someone noticed a month ago has spiraled out of control. To # 13: "I'm clocked out" Are they hourly employees? Are you willing to pay them overtime? usually someone who clocks in our out work by the hour. While it certainly would be good to get free labor, what incentive are you giving them to get them to do this free labor? Do you just expect people who are paid by the hour to just work for you all the time no matter what? I don't know why someone who is salary would say this, I have only heard mistreated hourly employees say this to bosses they don't like. They aren't your slaves, you pay them to work by the hour you should honor your companies obligations and commitments - even to hourly employees. You are the boss, grabbing the closest person to you to do a job is called laziness. As a boss it is your job to get the right people on the job - not the nearest one to you who might be trying to eat lunch on an unpaid lunch break. Bosses like that are the type no one wants to work for.
David Hersman Visual Information Specialist A few of these young bosses sound very arrogant. Like the one who doesn't want to be told there is something wrong? How can you x a problem if you don't want to know it exists. For you to be an effective manager, information (even negative information) has to ow to you. If your subordinates are xing problems and you are out of the loop, then you are not necessary. #9 - You only want employees who agree with you 100%? Guess what - they don't exist. If they always appear to agree, you are being lied to. They are going along for the sake of getting along. You are actively stiing the innovation that a start-up needs to survive. And #2, no one is a mind-reader. If something needs to be done, then as the boss, it is your job to explicitly state goals and who is responsible. You are guilty of they very thing you are accusing your employees of - assuming that someone else is taking care of it. You want to be the boss? - the buck stops with you.
Philip Lewis Delivery Manager at Royal Bank of Scotland The thing that always annoys me is "that's the way we've always done it".
Pramod Kumar Srivastava Consultant-CEO, Corporate Performance Improvement Consultant, Writer, Speaker & Global Citizen List is subjective, but one thing is for sure, Never Ever discuss about your personal life with Boss, say, ill health, divorce, parents problem, spouse problem, child education, etc. etc.You are giving strings in his hand, and making yourself highly vulnerable. He will always use it against you.Work like a robot in the company, and just leave.
Adam Butler Digital Marketing Analyst at NetXtra 1) Derek Capo
7 of 10
4/5/14, 8:52 PM
What is LinkedIn? them go very quickly." - I can't believe what I'm reading here... I think you need to think long and hard about your duties as an employer if you're going to let people go because of something you hear through the grapevine. Not to mention that the thing you're hearing through the grapevine is that employee X's main motivation for coming to work is remuneration for their labour. Unbelievable
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David Horton Company Care Account Manager at Eastside Medical Center #3 - There's something wrong: I used to believe this as well. I walked around saying "don't give me problems give me solutions". I thought that I was encouraging my staff to think ahead and giving them autonomy. Then I had an issue come up that almost ended my carrer and one of my staff members. When I sat and talked with that employee and asked why the problem was not brought to my attention earlier, guess what answer I got? "I was trying to nd a solution". Now, I encourage staff to bring the problem as soon as it is identied. Then I ask for solutions and encourage them to nd the answer, often because they are closer to the problem. Sometimes they do not have all the information to create a solution. Sometimes the problem needs immediate action.
Kim Chalk (Bradford) I have lost count of the number of times someone has said to me, as an HR Manager, "that's not my job"... I have perfected the look, the pause, the pointed response, but it still makes me shake my head in disbelief, every time!
David Horsewood Owner, Fire by Light LLC "You're a jerk." I believe telling the truth is the right thing to do. Saying, "You're a jerk," to a jerky boss is probably not going to make things better. One of the things that gets us into trouble is thinking there is such a thing as constructive criticism. All criticism is destructive. No, I am not saying we can't ever criticize. The notion of "constructive criticism" just has us do it too much, often making things worse. There are ways of constructively and truthfully discussing things that don't involve criticism. One of the basic tenants of that is focusing on the future. When criticizing we are discussing the past, something nothing can be done about. Focus on the future.
Michael Semus MBA Student at University of Brighton I am a rm believer in treating fellow workers like human beings. This means they have aws and will require differing approaches based on their personality types and there will be times when issues out of the companies control can negatively affect their performance. However, if you stand by a worker when they are having personal problems, treat them with respect and pay them for their time they will repay the company so much more than this costs that the value cannot even be quantied. This does not mean you allow people to walk all over you and their contract, but being exible when it's hard for the company is only reasonable when you expect the workers to give the same back. Respect is earned, this goes for both employer and employee.
KYLE BROWN Relationship-Focused Recruiter, Breaking Down the Barriers between Top Talent & Growing Companies
8 of 10
4/5/14, 8:52 PM
What is LinkedIn? responses used for this article are traditional emotional responses to employee behavior. I am guilty of the same frustrations as those quoted. However, I rmly believe that a true leader has the ability set aside that initial emotional response in order to better understand the root of the issue. Comments like Im just here for the money and I agree to disagree are indicators of bigger issues either with that individual employee or the organization as a whole. I have no knowledge of the circumstances surrounding the comments listed in the article. That said below are a few examples (some from my own experience) of what employees may really mean when they say things like I could be doing other things. 1. I am just here for the money. - I dont feel like what I do matters here, Im not needed and Im not growing. 2. You never told me to do it - Im afraid to step up and take initiative, Jim tried that and you came down on him. 3. There is something wrong - Hey I need help, something isnt right and I could use your leadership and expertise to help x it. 4. I want to do whats easiest - Ive got a lot going on at home and I cant take the stress there and here, can I just do some mindless work? 5. That takes up too much time - Weve got to be more efcient, can you help me be a better time manager? 6. I could be doing other things - Why dont you value what I do here? Can I get some positive feedback, once? 7. I promise to do that - Ill give everything I have to accomplish what youve asked, but I may need you to check in on me halfway through. 8. Its too difcult - I dont have the skills or tools necessary to accomplish the task, or at least I dont think I do. Can you give me some optimism and pump me up instead of just demanding results? 9. I agree to disagree - Look, I care enough about this place, and you to speak up when I think youre wrong, but when you continue to shoot down my ideas and cut me off this is what youll get from me. 10. I dont have an opinion - I thought what I shared last week was worth sharing, but all I got were blank stares in the meeting and then everyone just moved on. Give me a reason to believe my ideas are worth sharing. 11. I cant - Im not making excuses, but I wont lie to you and say Im capable of what Im not. If youd take a moment to listen and quit dismissing my excuses so quickly youd understand what Im really getting at. 12. Im not optimistic - Im a realist and frankly its been a rough few months, both here and at home, but if youd ask, youd know that already. 13. Im clocked out - You bill our clients for our time, so why wouldnt I bill you? I put in extra hours last week and you didnt say a word and now youre mad because I want compensated for the time Im putting in tonight? 14. Thats not my responsibility - There isnt any collaboration here, I dont feel like Im a member of the team. 15. Thats not my job - Really? Im feeling taken advantage of. I came here because you told me I would be doing X and thats what I love to do, and I spend half my time doing other things. 16. I dont like working for other people - I dont like working for you, you micromanage everything I do. You brought me on because of my expertise; give me a chance to be that expert without you looking over my shoulder all the time. 17. Im not working hard - This is too easy, challenge me please!
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Neil Jones Regional Security Advisor at Microsoft
9 of 10
4/5/14, 8:52 PM
What is LinkedIn? desperate, career-on-the-line sounding "Why did no-one tell me we had this major problem?"
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Al Costa CEO Alkol Bioenergy And yet one more article which only looks at one side of the coin: the employee. I wtill long to see one which actually looks at how crappy bosses, low salaries, unrealized expectations, and such are actually the source of the phrases depicted above.
James R. Moser Ofce Administrator at UCSF Ofce of Career and Professional Development This is full of anti-labor, workaholic sentiments that simply do not (and frankly should not) apply to most working Americans.
John Henry Elevating business with data If your employees are saying some of these things, then maybe the 'problem' lies much closer to home. Even if your delegate ego nds it hard to hear
LinkedIn MemberOther things you should never say to your boss: Are you going to eat the rest of that? If the cops show up, Im not here. When you interviewed me for this job, I thought you were a lot jerkier. Does the seat of your chair stick to bare skin? Mine does. Does this look infected to you?
Naqib Khan Disagree with 5 and 12. Bosses and employees do tell minute lies to each other but only sometimes and only when necessary. This article is clearly biased towards bosses, I want the truth, not people telling me what I want to hear all the time.
Andrea Gavazzoni I'd rename this post "things you certainly think but you'd better keep to yourself". To negate no.1 is the typical delusional approach of managers and HR's that want to believe that people work at fast foods and supermarkets for the corporate culture and the challenges of the job. Wake up!
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