I cannot recommend this video highly enough.

Especially for anyone encountering this blog or its ideas for the first time, it gives an important insight into on e of the biggest differences between men and women in dating and relationships ( I believe bigger ones exist, but this is a great starting point for discovering them). Even regular readers can benefit by watching this video, because it artic ulates clearly and concisely ideas that are well-worth solidifying in your mind; and hearing them in such clear and concise terms will do exactly that.

With that said, I do want to point out two minor disagreements I have with the v ideo, though I only feel the need to do so because I agree so completely with th e rest: (a) I think the video focuses too much on the pill as the source of the disparit y between supply and demand, rather than on certain philosophical undercurrents in Western society, or mans' access to pornography - both of which are at least as responsible (if not more so) for the phenomena the video describes. (b) It suggests that "affirming desirability" is a sexual motivation for women, but not for men (1:28). This is simply untrue. Yes, men bang women because an or gasm feels better in a vagina than in their hand; but a big part of that "better feeling" is actually pride: it is either the satisfaction of the woman's affirm ation, or the affirmation from their guy friends upon sharing the story with the m. I do, however, agree with their point that women tend to be motivated by the intimacy of sex more than men; and as I've suggested before, I also think that f eeling desired is a greater sexual motivation for women than it is for men.* So I don't think this criticism detracts from the video's larger point that men and women have different motivations for sex. To give credit where credit is due, the video was made by the Austin Institute f or The Study of Family and Culture. I don't know anything more about their organ ization than what they have written on their "About Us" page, but I also don't c are. I am just glad someone made the video. ________________________ * I don't think this is because women are more emotionally needy than men (as on e might infer). I am convinced that it is because men are more desirous of carna l sexual pleasure. So as a woman, there is simply more sexual desire to be recei ved. ----------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes The Truth About Being Perfect SCOT MCKAY SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 COMMENTS OFF The other day I was on the phone with a guy who is going through a coaching prog ram with me. As fortune would have it, on this day we were talking about how to use one s VOICE

to project confidence and masculinity two cornerstones of the

Big Four , of course.

In the case of my friend on the other end of the phone (and on the other side of the world), he had gone for literally DECADES without realizing how his manner of speaking had been CRATERING his chances with women. Being all about promoting his future success, I shared with him some objective w ays he could effectively alter his speech patterns to become infinitely more att ractive while still being his authentic, true self. I Was All About Being The Voice of Encouragement. In my heart and mind, I knew my friend would see a DRAMATIC difference in how hi s interactions with women went if only he d take the next few weeks to intentionaliz e just a few new habits. But on the other end of the phone, all I heard at first was DISCOURAGEMENT. Aw man I realize now that I ve been doing what we re talking about for over THIRTY YEAR S. How can I expect to COMPLETELY ERADICATE these bad habits? That sounds all bu t IMPOSSIBLE. That s When I Told Him How The 85/15 Rule Works.

Basically, the 85/15 Rule says that if you can get the basics of masculinity and c onfidence down just 85% of the time, you ll have done what it takes to convince a woman you re the REAL DEAL. That s right. You don t have to be perfect. Remember, women are HUMAN BEINGS just like you. Unless they re a rare variety of p sycho, I promise they aren t sitting around waiting for you to misstep in the slig htest so they can cut you off. I don t care what the PUA crowd would have you beli eve. Even the hottest women on earth are NOT going to demand PERFECTION from you . In fact are you sitting down for this? If You Are Mr. Perfect , You May As Well Be Mr. Nice Guy Why? Simple you re going to come off as Mr. Impossible in the end if you re EITHER Mr. Perfect or Mr. Nice Guy . She s going to think you re faking it. She s going to think you have an agenda. And to make matters worse, coming off like you want to be Mr. Perfect has an even WORSE angle: She s going to feel she can t live up to your flawless execution . Look, we already know that many, many women especially the particularly attractive ones are VERY self-conscious. They don t want to mess up any more than you do on a da te. And how about this? Remember the THIRD part of the Big Four ? You know, INSPIRING C ONFIDENCE. If you seem like you can do NO WRONG, all you re doing is making her fe el MORE self-conscious and MORE like she needs to walk on eggshells so as not to humiliate herself somehow. While You re At It.

Think I m Kidding? Here s a gut check for you: Have you ever gone on a PERFECT DATE, only to have the woman RUN AWAY and never be heard from again afterward? And are you STILL trying to piece together what could possibly have gone awry? I m telling you your act could have been TOO together. A little ketchup on the cuff or trip over the shoelaces could have actually put her at ease. And yes maybe ONE SMALL hint at genuine interest a bit too early or ONE SLIGHT OVE RREACTION to something she said may have actually been a GOOD THING for you to h ave mixed in there. Again, not enough to paint you as a needy, high-strung Chihuahua or a desperado but JUST ENOUGH to make her bite her lower lip in the slightest, sexiest way and thi nk, You know what, I think he might like me after all. By now you may be thinking I ve been spending too much time tuning 2-stroke engine s with the garage door closed again. But If You Don t Believe Me, Believe Emily. I can still remember the first time I lost my cool about something in her presen ce only three weeks after we started dating. She THANKED me afterward! To my utter shock and awe, she told me she felt more at ease knowing I messed st uff up sometimes. No kidding, for a few awkward minutes there before she said anything, I thought she was about to walk out of my life forever. So no, women don t demand or even WANT perfection . What they want is a MAN who is a masculine and confident at his core but still a H UMAN BEING who they can relate to. That s where the 85/15 part comes in. Now to be perfectly clear, we re talking about MASCULINITY and CONFIDENCE here. You can t expect to make her feel unsafe in your presence 15% of the time or commi t blatant breaches of character 15% of the time. It might be one strike and you re out on the bigger stuff, as well it should be. But if in your normal, day-to-day interactions with her you can portray solid ma sculine confidence at least 85% of the time, then a few small mistakes won t do yo u in. She ll consider the REAL you to be the confident, masculine version she s USED to having in her life. And think about it, if she runs her own feminine version of 85/15 around you, wo n t YOU feel tons more at ease interacting with her? Thought so. The problem is that in today s feminized culture, many guys feel it s required to MA N UP only about 15% of the time if that. The rest of the time? It s Neuter City , baby. The Good News

By now I ve spent a LOT of time coaching a LOT of guys, and here s something I ve foun d to be almost universally true: If a man is willing to apply himself to breakin g an old habit in favor of a newer, better one he REALLY CAN go from 15/85 to 85/15 very quickly. Sometimes it s literally a matter of a FEW DAYS. Most of us are just too complacent to do anything about what s holding us back. OR, we never find out WHAT IT IS that s been holding us back. How s THAT for a scary thought? Seriously. Our FRIENDS aren t going to tell us. And usually the WOMEN we go out wi th themselves will NEVER SAY ANYTHING they just won t answer the phone the next tim e you call. But one thing s for sure. There are high quality women out there waiting for YOU t o get your act together. Well at least 85% together, right? :-) Be Good, Scot McKay ---------------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes How Women Reveal Your Value KP AUGUST 3, 2009 COMMENTS OFF What happens when someone powerful, with high value of your company, or a celebrity? Everyone in the room suddenly becomes nice. If you walked into a room and didn t know anyone there, but you noticed that every one in the room was being nice to one person who was being confident and doing as they pleased, what would you assume about the status of that one person? This is e xactly how women who don t know you determine YOUR status. Women seek the security and comfort of being with confident, powerful, high-stat us men. Why? It s relaxing. You always know where you stand when you are around co nfident, powerful, high-status men because they are not afraid to tell you. And you know that whatever happens, the confident, powerful, high-status man will be able to handle it. And you know that if he wants something, he will make bold m oves to get it. Women HATE having to take the lead and make all the moves. Most guys think they are being kind by offering the woman control over an interaction or a date, but they will be made uncomfortable by your niceness. Asking a woman if she wants to g o out with you demands that she show interest before you. Asking a woman what sh

walks into a room, ie. the CEO

e would like to do on your date demands that she take charge of your time togeth er and accept the risk if things don t go well. So why is niceness and any kind of people-pleasing behavior disappointing to women ? Exhibiting these behaviors instantly tells women that you are not the confiden t, powerful, high-status man. If she was interested in you when she first saw yo u, it will be disappointing to her to discover that you are not the guy she hope d you were. If she wasn t interested in you at first, she won t START getting intere sted when you exhibit low-status behaviors. I was out with a few buddies and noticed that they were suddenly transfixed by a very hot 10' woman sitting across the bar. I walked up and sat down right next t o her. She turned to me and said This better be good. That statement was the most revealing thing I had ever heard. She didn t say get away from me or ignore me. She TURNED TO ME (a show of interest) and said This better be good. Her behavior meant something else. It meant I was imp ressed by the courage it took to roll up to me don t disappoint me. Well, I fucked up that interaction, and so did my friends who then attempted to come over and be my wings. But I left with a valuable lesson: Ultimately, women WANT you to be the confident, powerful, high-status man. It do esn t mean you have to be rich, a celebrity, or a CEO. It just means that you beli eve in yourself (you re confident that no matter what happens or what she throws a t you, you ll handle it), you have a purpose, and you have a high sense of self-wo rth. Don t disappoint them. ----------------How Women See a Night Out KIM MARCH 20, 2009 2 Dancing the night awayI have a lot of guys ask me about what happens as a woman in a club. They want to know what s going on in our heads as we watch men approach, or watch them NOT approach. They want to kno w what we re thinking, what we re looking for, what we notice, what we react to. I want to back it up a bit. Everyone has their own reasons for being a part of this community. Some want to learn how to be comfortable in any kind of social situation. Others want to know how to get laid as often as possible. Many tell me that they want to find a gre at girl and marry her one day, but they want to be able to choose that girl, not just settle for who comes to them. So here s something to keep in mind. That great girl might not be the super-hottie with the perfect boobs, legs, hair and face that you and every other guy in the club is immediately and repeatedly drawn to. I don t hate. I know you re wired that way. That s why I mentioned boobs first. I wan ted to make sure I had your attention. So now that I have it, here s a women s persp ective of what happens in a club, or any other mixed crowd. Most of us are hanging out, also noticing the look and carriage of the people co ming in and milling around us. We notice the girls and compare ourselves and our

groups to other girls and their groups. We notice the boys, each of us taking f irst note of the ones that have whatever qualities draw us in, things we might n ot even be aware of. We take notes, just like y all do, thinking Hmm! at all the thi ngs that we see and like about you. Then we notice that you re all looking at the same group of high-maintenance chica s with the intricately woven hairstyles, the shortest, tightest skirts and lowes t, tightest tops, highest heels, fake baked glowing skin, false eyelashes, fake boobs or at least pushup b ras and fake French-manicured nails. Sigh. I m not a hater. I don t hate those girls. They re doing what they can with what they have, and bless their little hearts for it. That s all any of us can do, really. S ome of those girls are my friends, and we don t hate you guys for looking at what they re showing, because that s what you re supposed to do. They WANT you to look, and they do a great job of giving you something to look at. But I m going to give you a woman s perspective, and that s where it all starts for yo u. Introduction to a woman happens as soon as you become a blip on her radar. Your true introduction might well have been made before you even set foot in the venu e. Your first impression might well have been seeing you with your boys ogling that exact same group of girls that every other guy in the place can t seem to keep hi s eyes off. If you are high-fiving or pointing and making hip-thrusting motions that doesn t make a very good first impression. Neither does standing against the wall, watching with wanting eyes. If you circle that group slowly for an hour like a cheetah stalking its prey, wo rking up the courage to get closer that is not a good look for a guy, or his con fidence level, and confidence definitely breeds attraction. If you are seen droo ling over other girls and you come slumming to us later on in the evening it defin itely doesn t work in your favor, and makes it harder to take you serious at all. The point is that if you act like every guy or how the average guy is acting you r e just making it harder for yourself to get noticed. Just as most guys aren t Brad Pitt or Morris Chestnut, most girls aren t Angelina Jo lie or Rihanna. Just as you know it, we know it and we don t care to be reminded o f it in such an inelegant manner. So if you ve ever said to yourself, I just want women to take the time to see the REAL me! remember it works both ways. Women just want you to see the real them, too. Those high-maintenance girls are probably great people. They re genetically or cos metically gifted enough to come in the most glittery, sparkly, most highly peacoc ked packages. No doubt, they re visually stunning. There are loads of packages that are every bit as pretty, though maybe not as fl ashy. However, even if you decide your only objective for the evening is a shiny object, take a moment to appreciate the rest of what s out there as well. It coul d be every bit as valuable, or more. Yes, you might be hurting a girl s feelings by passing her over for the shinier ob jects at first. Worse, though, is that you might be hurting your own chances of meeting that great girl you ve been working for.

---------------How To Get Her To Masturbate on The Phone DAVID WYGANT JANUARY 26, 2009 4 phone-sex-operator-2 Khiem and I are walking right now with Yakub, and we re hanging out and doing what we call a brainstorm day well actually they both goofed off on some weird interne t sites for a little while which they didn t share with me but they downloaded thi ngs to my Mac which sort of scare me a little bit. At least I ll have some fun ent ertainment when I get home But we were all hiking and talking, and they were asking me, of how to get her to masturbate for you on the telephone? What are the secrets

Now, I ve been somebody who has absolutely enjoyed the benefits of phone sex even before women got to enjoy the benefits of the Blackberry-vibrating phone sex! Ho w to get a woman to masturbate for you on the phone is really very simple. First, you n back and d a couple or you two have to call them late at night. Let s say you ve been emailing this woma forth. You ve been flirting in emails back and forth, and maybe you ve ha of phone conversations, and she tells you she ll be around that night f to talk.

What you need to do in that email or text message is say, how late can I call you ? I want you to be really cozy and comfortable when I call, so you re not thinking anything about the day. So she ll tell you how late you can call. So then you call her that late 11 o clock at night. She s in bed, she s wearing her li ttle jammies, and you start conversing with her. You talk to her about emotions, about anything that has to do with a deep topic. Because remember sex for a wom an starts in her mind. You need to connect with her. You can t get on the phone with her and say, So what are you wearing right now? Do you want to masturbate with me on the phone? No it s about connecting. Picture it as foreplay or phone-play! What you need to do is just talk to her a li ttle bit, get to know her a little bit, make a comment on something you guys hav e shared together maybe this is like the first or second phone call, and you ve lear ned things about her. Maybe she s told you that she really loves deep conversations. You can say to her, man, I really love deep conversations with you. I love to get to know you better , it s so much fun. I m enjoying exploring you. I m enjoying penetrating your mind. n you talk in subliminally sexual ways, it will make her very turned on.

Whe

Most guys make the biggest mistake: a woman is talking to you late at night, you r e having an emotional conversation and you re connecting, and the guy will immedia tely ruin it by saying, are you wet right now? Or you know, my cock s hard, you want to feel it? You don t want to say that! What you have to assume is that she s already turned on. What I like to do is use very subliminal language. I m having so much fun connecti ng with you now that s foreplay in her mind. I m having a great time learning about yo u. Wow, I wish I was sitting right there with you right now, seeing your eyes duri ng this conversation that s another thing to say to her. Or when you are talking about something, there s a pause, and you both feel it you need to get a bit more daring. Say, did we just have a kiss moment? and she ll say,

Well yeah, I think so! Then you can say, Alright, let s play true confession. If I w as there right now, what would you want to do? And then she ll tell you. If she feels comfortable, she ll say, oh I really want to k iss you and touch you right now. You can say, Touch me? I barely even know you! Ho w do you know I ll even let you? you want to be playful a little bit. Then she ll say, Oh come on, what do you want to do? And then you tell her.

What I always say, over and over again, is, If I was there right now, I would loo k deep inside your eyes, I would kiss you, I would look at you, and I want to fe el your energy. I want to look and see what I stir up inside you after I kiss yo u. All of a sudden, she ll take a deep breath, and say, really? Tell me more. So then y ou tell her more! I m a very passionate person, and I love to explore a woman s body but only after I connect with her mind and her soul, and then describe what you d l ove to do to her. What I do is do it very subliminally: right now, if you were standing in front of me, I would LOVE to look at you after I kissed you and see how hungry your eyes are. I ll know just by the look in your eyes how I want to proceed with your body I ll know what I want to do next. You re taking control at this point. You re painting a picture. Most men don t paint t hat picture they paint a picture of weakness. You are basically telling her, If I was there right now this is what I would do to you. Then, at that point, you have to judge her temperature. You can ask, Well, do you want to hear more? 99.9% of the time, she s going to say of course! At this point , you want to be very subliminal in what you say to her. You want to say things like, after I m done kissing you, I would take a look and I know your body would be talking to me, and I know exactly what I would do. I would start at your neck and describe it. I would start at your neck, because I want to taste your skin in my mouth. Use ve ry explicit terminology: I would then take my mouth and kiss every inch of your b ody, tasting every bit of you, and feeling your energy and the way you react use those terms. Not once do you ever say, I want to spread your legs and lick you li ke an ice cream cone! It s all very subliminal. At this point, you tell a story and it s all about how you tell that story man I wo uld just take you, flip you over, and kiss your back from head to toe, and listen to the way that she is breathing. If she starts breathing a little bit heavier, or sighing a little bit if she says, tell me more and her voice is getting very b reathy, it might even seem like she s out of breath at this point. If she s having s hort little bursts of breath, and saying, more, more more Then you can say to her, alright, if I was standing there, what would you do to m e? and allow her to describe it now. The thing about sex, and what a lot of men d on t do because they don t understand how sexual women really are, is give women a c hance to express their sexuality. Women are very sexual creatures. You want to give women a chance to express their sexuality by saying, tell me wha t you would do for me. And let them tell you and react to it! React positively. W hen she tells you the things she wants to do, say, god I love that. Encourage her a little bit more. A lot of times, her ex-boyfriend or ex-lover didn t allow her t o do those things she didn t feel that sexy around him. The reason why she is exploring this with you over the safety of the phone is th

at she is trying to figure out who you are. She already has a fantasy about you in her head, so allow her to talk about that fantasy. And every time she says so mething great, say, oh man, that is so hot, or, wow, that would feel so good, or I m yours you can do that! And then just add some stuff to it so it becomes this conversation. Then, at that point, when she is describing things,not only have you turned her on, but she s turning herself on you are allowing her to talk about her inner fant asies. At that point, you can say to her: let me ask you now how wet are you? She will say, very. You then say, I want you to feel yourself right now, and then describe to me how wet you are. Descri be what it feels like in your fingers. Many times she will say, I ve been touching myself the whole time! You ask, You ve been touching yourself? And then you take total control: Really? I want you to touch y ourself some more, and I want to hear you. I want to hear what you re fantasizing about right now. I want to hear your passion for me. I want to listen. I m going to talk you through this. I want to listen to what you are burning for right now and allow her to talk. Keep asking her, what are you doing? and she ll tell you what she is doing! Encourag e her: oh, keep doing that, I want to hear you cum. Cum for me baby, come on. And then she ll ask you if you re touching yourself. Whether or not you are watching ESPN or touching yourself is your own prerogativ e but you say that you are touching yourself. Hopefully you are enjoying the pho ne sex, and actually having phone sex with her. This is the way that you get a woman to have phone sex. Not only that, but once you have phone sex with her, real sex is right around th e corner. There is no waiting no games, no playing, NOTHING. Once they ve played w ith you on the phone, they want to play with you in person. You have something t o go on. The next day you text her and say, I m going to make you beg tonight again I m going to make you beg! and she ll say, Oh please don t make me beg! When are we going to see each other? And she s going to beg, because you ve gotten inside her head. You have gotten inside her mind, and you ve gotten inside her soul, like most guys haven t done. And that s how you have great phone sex! -----------------Masculinity from the Female Perspective ZIP SEPTEMBER 15, 2008 6 women think sexy After completing the introductory period into the pick-up arts, many of my clien ts hit a place I like to call the dark spot. After the initial rush of positive re inforcement from women, these recovering average frustrated chumps get an emotiona l high. However, after the realization that they are just collecting empty phone numbers, they come down from the apex and fall into the dark spot. It s the period of doubt, epiphany, and realized hypocrisy that every person who has graduated i nto the mid to upper echelons of the pick-up arts has been through. As a woman t eaching men to improve the quality of their lifestyles, I ve gone through the deep est dark spot imaginable: I felt like a traitor to both sexes. I taught men how

to screw-over women and taught men how to ignore who they really were. Of course, we either come out of the dark spot and realize it s about lifestyle ra ther than sex, or we pack up and go home. I did the former. Most successful third-generation Pick-Up Artists have followed the same trajectory . My unique experience as a female coach for men has given me an interesting if not unconventional view of masculinity in our current western society. My exper ience as a friend, family member, enemy, and lover of many men during my lifetim e coupled with my love for research on the subject have lead me to an interestin g idea: modern men are bred either beta or alpha omega. Are the pick-up arts demeaning to women? I ve heard some men claim that they have lost respect for most women the more they delve into certain methods. I ve also hear d some men feel that they have reduced the function of women in their lives as m ere notches on the belt to mastery of the arts. A common generalization in our society states that men want to sleep with as man y women as possible. This claim is apparently backed-up by evolutionist thinkers w ho akin promiscuity to ancient seed-spreading practices among primitive humanoid s. My theory, augmented by some of the newest scientific and behavioral studies published, puts this antiquated idea in the toss pile along with other outdated s cientific facts (such as AIDS is a purely homosexual disorder. ) In our society, men are not driven by a genetic impulse to screw as many quality women as possible. Rather, I venture that modern men are driven by the need to feel like a winner with women. I am always intrigued by psycholinguistic research. By studying our modern society s relationships with words, phrases, and thought, experts can delv e into the common subconscious of our culture. Albert Katz, a psychologist from the University of Western Ontario, explored alp ha male linguistics. He discovered that acknowledgments of gratitude are filled with subconscious hierarchical thought. In [Katz s] study, people responded to wr itten scenarios that described them doing someone a favor. Manipulating the cost o f favors in terms of time, effort, or money. Katz and two colleagues asked the v olunteers to choose responses to thanks and justify their choices. Not surprisin gly, open-ended phrases like anytime and whatever you need were used less when favor s were costly. But there was also this surprising finding: When men used anytime - and explained t heir choice as an invitation to be asked to perform the favor again- it was far more often for high-cost favors and when the favor-asker was male. Katz speculat es that the men were displaying a linguistic form of alpha male behavior, in other words saying, Hey, I m higher than you in the dominance hierarchy- I have the reso urces. A common problem that many men run into on the quest to become alpha is how to ref rain from turning into a bullheaded asshole. Can one be a gentleman and typify m asculinity? Can one be a nice person and a master of women? Can one remain a human being on the path to becoming an alpha male? I believe another definition must come to fruition in order to differentiate between fixed-alpha and the adaptivealpha, the first I call alpha omega while the latter remains simply the alpha. What is alpha? I believe that etymology gives more weight to meaning, and this i s certainly the case with our concept of alpha male. Alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet, transliterated as a. By using alpha as an adjective modifying th e word male, a metaphorical image is created of a leader: the beginning, the first , the winner. An alpha star is the first and typically brightest star in a const ellation. The alpha wolf is the socially dominant animal of the heard. How does one capture all the positive attributes of the alpha concept while retaining a s ense of connection to the world at large?

Thus, a broader concept of positive lifestyle augmentation must come into play. This is also where another term must be created and defined. Omega is the twentyfourth, and final, letter of the Greek alphabet, transliterated as o. The word mea ns the last of a series or the final development (i.e. the omega point.) The phr ase alpha and omega is an established phrased used by many theologians and scholar s as the beginning and the end. I use the phrase alpha omega to describe a man who i s so fixed in his alpha-ness, that there is no room for reciprocal power shift b y a female mate. An alpha omega is, in layman s terms, a total asshole. Think about Henry VIII. He guzzled down wives and queens in order to regurgitate his own legacy. When his first love Catherine of Aragon grew old and couldn t giv e him a son, Henry VIII pushed her aside and married the mysterious and sexy Ann e Boleyn. When Henry VIII s passion for Anne Boleyn faded (she couldn t give him a s on, either) he chopped her head off so he could marry another. If that isn t alpha omega, I don t know what is. Though women will be initially drawn to the power of the alpha omega, a strong w oman will drop him as soon as he shows no intention of budging. The only long-te rm or truly substantial relationship an alpha omega will attract will be with a sub-par woman, seeking a sadistic authority figure to feed her masochistic patho logy. Conversely, beta is the second letter of the Greek alphabet, transliterated as b. It denotes the second of a series of items, categories, forms, etc. Programs that are labeled beta are in a trial format, or the final stages of development. A beta version, however capable, is not the projected final product and therefore short of completion. Beta, as an adjective, also refers to beta decay (radioactive decay in which an electron is emitted.) No matter the definition, beta is either second -best or on a downward spiral. A beta male is careful, submissive, and generally unremarkable. He is the bastard son of extremist feminism: a man who rides a bi cycle and pretends it is a horse. In a recent study conducted by social psychologist Diana Sanchez, she gathered d ata to support her claim that when men are subconsciously reminded of sex they s uppress dominant thought. She suggests, [Men] may have internalized social mores prescribing respect for women s sexual wishes: Men first saw a sex related term (climax, oral) or a neutral term (table, brick) for a fraction of a second, then had to decide whether a string of letters was a real word. Subjects were slower to recognize words associated with dominance (c oerce, fierce) as real words if they d been primed with the sexy words than the ne utral ones. Any modern human being living in a Western society that still belie ves it s a man s world is kidding his or herself. James Brown is certainly correct in some areas of life, but his lyric does not r ing true for all aspects of contemporary experience. Women often deceive themsel ves by believing that only women suffer. Men get all the good jobs. Men choose t heir mates or choose to leave them. Men are born into a world made for them. Thi s assumption is outdated and absolutely incorrect. The modern man is born into a rough life. He is taught never to complain. He is taught to walk on eggshells a round women. He is told that only girls cry. Beta males are the archetype of thi s modern condition. What s the solution? What Greek letter should men strive for in the quest to becom e happy, contributing members of the human race? My definition of alpha male lies in between alpha omega and beta. A true alpha male is a gentleman and a leader. He i s a thinking human being and a courageous defender of what is right. He feels, y et is not too wrapped up to take positive action. He is deeper than a mass of mu scle and sturdier than a mound of emotion. Alpha, therefore, is equilibrium betw een two extremes. I believe that one projects what one will attract. Alpha omegas attract masochis

tic women. Beta males attract dictators. Alpha males attract quality human being s. Rather than wanting a constant stream of beautiful women in his bed, the alph a is simply and justly a winner with women, and winners are attractive. photo by Elsie esq. -----------------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes Women s Top 8 Red Flags , Are You Sending Them? DEBRA NOVEMBER 8, 2010 12 Guys, I admit women are complicated. But, I want to help demystify a few things, starting with red flags. There are cer tain things we look for when we re out with a guy to see if this prince charming w ill soon become a frog. It s like when you go out with a girl and notice that she does something that kinda makes you cringe and you never think of her in the sam e way again. Maybe she starts to nag you too early on or maybe she gets really i nsecure about her weight and won t eat a thing at dinner or just breaks down and cri es mid-date. Umm Red flags, right? Well, there are things guys do that women see as an omen of bad things to come. Personally some of the red flags I look for are: A guy that isn t happy with his career. If a guy isn t happy with his career and he isn t doing anything to change it, he should be focusing all his energy on that be fore he drags a woman into his misery. A guy that has a negative attitude. This is a total downer and drags me down. It s understandable for a guy to feel strongly or negatively toward certain things b ut not in general towards life. A guy that thinks leaving town or moving will help him escape his problems. Thes e problems are within himself and he can t escape them by physically traveling. A guy that moves too fast into a relationship. He needs to let things progress n aturally and get to know you before he fully drops everything to integrate you i nto his life. He shouldn t be inviting you out with his family and on vacations af ter 2 weeks. He may be looking to fill a void. A guy that has never been in a serious relationship before. He may not have the tools and experience to have one and I ve done enough training. A guy that doesn t respect my time. If he texts or facebook messages or calls last minute to hang out within the first couple weeks of dating, he isn t being respec tful of my time and plans. It makes me feel like I m his last priority so I make h im my lowest priority as well. A guy that asks me out before speaking to me on the phone. This applies to set u ps or when a guy finds me online. I don t expect to have multiple calls before me eting as that s a waste of time as well, but 1 call will bring a bit of a connecti on and excitement to the situation as well as rule out the ones not worth meetin g. A guy that invites himself into my apartment on a first date. Whether he invite s me to his apartment or invites himself into mine, that s not an appropriate sett ing for a first date and can lead to physical behavior and closeness that surpas ses the mental connection established thus far. This tells me the guy doesn t see this as something long term or that he doesn t know how to lead. Either way, it s a

turn off and disrespectful. To give you a taste the types of red flags various women look for, I ve consulted with some of the ladies on my Black Book Builder panel of experts. Let s take a cl oser look.

Dena the Serial Monogamist: My biggest red flag is a guy who doesn t know his own drinking limit. There s a fine line between having a few drinks with the boys and stumbling home from the bar. Boys will be boys, but a real man knows when to give up his keys and call a cab or a designated driver. Drunk driving isn t sexy.

Justine the Romantic: If you re out to dinner and he treats the waitress badly. That s a sign he ll treat yo u badly too. Always watch out for his manners with other people. This will let y ou know his true character or if he s just putting on an act for you.

Chloe the Optimist: For me a red flag is when a guy doesn t have respect for his mother. I think men w ho grow up resenting their mothers generally have a negative view on women in ge neral from the start. Men who get along with their moms are more in tune to how women work and are used to that kind of close connection. On the other hand, men with bad relationships with their mothers are less inclined to be sensitive to a woman s feelings and emotions, outwardly and even subconsciously. Steph the Marriage Expert: You might think his flaw is a red flag in the beginning but his idiosyncrasies c ould grow on you. When I was in the dating scene, I was looking for a clean cut, responsible, and mature man. However, I decided to go out with a guy who had a missing tooth, a beat up Bronco car, and long hair. On our first date he asked m e to pick him up and drive to a movie that was sold out. I questioned why I date d this guy when he was very different then the type of guy I was looking for. Af ter the first few dates I learned that he was chronically late, a messy eater, a nd wanted to sleep with me right away. Despite all those red flags , and a sweetheart. His red e beginning and I started to dating this toothless man, I e happiest girl. I continued to date him because he was romantic, funny flags didn t seem to bother me as much as they did in th love the man that he truly is. After four years of decided to marry him and since then, I have been th

Jen the Level-Headed Therapist: A word of warning: one girl s red flag can just as easily be another girl s pink or even green flag. With that said, here are some of the more obvious ones off the top o f my head: A guy who talks too much about ex-girlfriends. Avoid this altogether if possible on the first couple dates. It s especially bad if the guy s bad-mouthing any exes.

Any sort of racist, sexist, or even age-ist jokes. Be PC unless that s truly a hu ge part of your personality, in which case I guess you ll be weeding out the girls who won t put up with it pretty quickly. A guy who doesn t pay for everything on the first date. I know this sounds dated, but whether or not the girl offers to pay her share for dinner, a movie or drin ks, you should always pay. After that, it can become more of a shared thing. Not having a concrete plan for the first couple dates. Don t show up and ask the girl to choose what restaurant, bar or movie to go to. You want to appear in co ntrol, and as though you d put thought into the dates. Talking too much about himself. So much that he doesn t end up learning anything a bout you, his date. The first few dates should be a give and take while she may volunteer things about herself, make sure you ask some questions about her life and interests. A guy who doesn t have any interests, or any male friends. Girls like dynamic guy s. And if you have no male friends, we assume there s something wrong A guy who waits until the last minute to finalize plans. Again, be sure to be t he guy with a plan. A guy who can t hold a conversation. Be curious, come with a few good stories, an d be prepared to make a little small talk when necessary. A guy who pushes the physical part too fast. First dates are for hugs and kisse s, not taking a girl back to your place for an after-party. Unless you don t reall y see things headed to serious-relationship land Chivalry is not dead! Holding doors, paying, and giving a nice compliment are a lways good. Guys should also be mindful of any displays of anger, frustration or rudeness toward others. You want to show a girl that you have manners, are con siderate of others, and can appropriately and gracefully handle any mishaps or f rustrating situations. Complications and problems happen, so show her you can r oll with the punches. Debra the Dating Diva is a LA-based dating coach and writer. When she s not charmi ng the men of Los Angeles, or hitting up the hottest social events and outdoor a ctivities, she s cataloging her dating adventures and giving men the inside scoop on what women want them to know at her website blackbookbuilder.com. What did you think of this Guest Post? Do you agree with the Red Flags that Debr a and her friends put forth? Share your feedback and opinions in the comments! --------------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes Why Women Love to Test Your Boundaries LIZ LEIA MARCH 29, 2010 7 One question that I get a lot from men is, Why do women give men shit tests ? The ver y label shit test shows just how little most men really understand women. You see, the best metaphor that I ever came across to describe how the masculine and the feminine ideally interact is that of a river and a riverbank.The feminine is li ke the river: fluid, temperamental, yearning to be lead, directed, and take on t he shape of its container. The masculine is (hopefully) like a river bank: a str ong solid boundary that directs the water and shows it where to flow. One of the masculine s main functions is to set strong boundaries. What is a bound

ary? It s simply a decision that you make for yourself. It doesn t always have to be grand. For example, I dated a guy who doesn t like tomatoes and therefore will no t eat them. Not eating them is the boundary. When a woman tests your boundaries, she is testing to see where they are. It s not to give you a hard time or make you prove yourself as a man. A woman pushes again st your boundaries because it feels good! It feels good to push against a man an d discover that you can t push him over. Because this man didn t like tomatoes, I got a special thrill out of trying every which way to get him to eat a tomato. I tried so many silly ways to make my toma to-hating man eat tomatoes everything from putting them in a salad without telling him to buying different kinds (yellow ones, for example) and insisting that thes e are different than regular tomatoes. Of course, I couldn t care less about his ac tual dietary habits the fun is pushing against that boundary and feeling him push back. Whether it s a tomato or an apple (like with Adam and Eve), many men mistakenly be lieve that a woman is being manipulative or playing mind games when she tests an d pushes against boundaries. If you resent a woman for trying to seduce you unti l you cave in to some kind of weakness, then you resent the feminine and won t eve r be able to create anything fun and beautiful with her. A woman means no harm. She is just being like the water in the river. What happe ns when you pour water into a container that has weak boundaries? The water spil ls and floods everywhere and it s messy. The same happens with a woman who has discovered a weak boundary in her man. She will scream, cry, get angry, or direct her energy elsewhere (i.e. reject you or leave you). This is how a woman spills and floods. She doesn t like to do it, but s he can t help it because she is like the water and that s her nature in the absence of a strong pair of river banks. So, it s time to stop resenting a woman s tests and grow a pair.

How do you set strong boundaries? Decide who you are, and what you will and will not tolerate or stand for. Make sure that you don t compromise these ideals. This is not about being stubborn about every little detail and never letting a w oman get her way. This is also not about controlling other people (which you can t do anyway). This is about staying true to your personality and who you are at t he core of your being. When a woman tests your boundaries and discovers that they are strong, that s what creates the spark of attraction. ---------------------Why Women Don t Understand What Men Say Posted on October 31st, 2011 by Kim in Building A Connection women no men Men are simple? You really think men are simple? she asked me again, in a voice fi lled with skeptical curiosity. She obviously didn t agree with me, or thought I wa s deluded. I had just met her at a small get-together the night before. She was one of my male friend s dates, and we d run into each other again the next morning a s she was leaving my friend s apartment. We walked down the street together as we talked. I raised my shoulders in a half-shrug, but she started talking again before I co uld answer. Okay, alright, I think men are not as complicated as women, I know th

is. Women, we are complicated, much more than men. But men are, too, don t you thi nk? It s like well, they re not easy, you know? It s not easy to understand them. Like, it s not easy to understand what they re thinking, what they want. I nodded as she spoke. I could see her point. Women are complicated. We talk a l ot. We think about everything why something was said, how it was said, who said it, to whom it was said and who else was around when it was said. We think about our reactions and their reactions and what the long-term ramifications might be . Then we think and talk more about other similar situations that we ve encountere d in the past, as well as similar situations that our girlfriends have been in a nd how those all turned out. Then we think and talk some more about how this mig ht affect the future and we rehearse all possible outcomes and different ways of handling the situation and how all of those ideas might affect everyone involve d. Men generally think for a moment, make a decision, give an answer and move on. So I asked her, Do you think that maybe it s us complicated women who are making me n seem more complicated than they are? That perhaps because we see so many sides and angles when we look at things, we can t believe that they re as straightforward as they are? That when they say something, perhaps they simply mean what they s ay, before we women start analyzing them and ascribing a zillion different meani ngs to their words and actions? She thought about it. You mean, like maybe when he tells me something and my mind starts working overti me, wondering what he meant by that, maybe he just means what he said? Exactly. I could see her considering the idea. Her brow furrowed and I watched her eyes f lit back and forth rapidly as she instantly recalled a hundred different interac tions and applied this theory to them. Okay, but wait. Sometimes he says things and I don t understand them. He just doesn t make sense. Do you ask him to clarify? Or do you accept it or agree with it in the moment, th en obsess over it later and assign your own meaning to his words based on your o wn assumptions? Her eyes got wide. You mean, like ask HIM what he means? Like right then? I looked at her, tilted my head to the side, raised my eyebrows and smiled. What if he can t tell me? she asked. What if he can? I asked her back. We walked in silence for a bit. I don t know, she finally said. Maybe. Maybe men aren t simple exactly, but maybe women do make things more complicated than they have to be. I don t know. It s hard to te ll, isn t it? I just don t know. Maybe you re right. I ll have to think about it. You sh ould talk to my friend Stacey about this. She has a lot of experience with men, she d have a lot to say about it. I ll talk to her and see what she says. I guess yo u could be right. I don t know. I just really I just don t know. We got to her cross street, hugged and parted ways. She was smiling as she left, which I chose to see as a good sign, a sign that maybe she was letting her mind be open to the possibility that she d been making her own relationships harder th an they needed to be. It s not easy to see and be open to the fact that we might j ust be getting in our own ways when it comes to relating to others. Women are in deed complicated. And as she said, men aren t exactly simple, either. However, the ways men and women relate to each other don t need to be as complicat ed as both sides tend to make them. Much of the discomfort and outright pain fro m both sides comes from assigning meaning where there is no data from which to w ork. Men go through an excuse process for not approaching, things like, She looks tired. She s with her friends and probably doesn t want to be bothered. She s probabl y been hit on a hundred times already tonight, and any of a thousand more like th at. They don t know those women yet, so they have no data to accurately make those assumptions. Women think and think and over think and analyze and wonder and ob sess. They don t know what the other person is thinking, so just like the men and their excuses processes, the women are working from their own assumptions as wel l, with little to no data to back them up, either.

Men aren t simple. Women aren t, either. Every human being is intricate and multifac eted from the myriad experiences and conglomeration of choices and decisions tha t make each one of us unique. Understanding that, it seems a bit absurd that any one of us, male or female, would ever assume we can know what anyone else is fe eling or thinking without asking them. photo by Hamed Saber ---------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes Hesitation is the Mind Killer ERIC DISCO AUGUST 15, 2008 1 couple-at-bar-lg-35825020 You can tell exactly how things will go just by watching him walk toward her. Go say hi to her, I tell him. He s a tall, exceptionally good-looking guy with hair parted straight down the middle. He looks across the bookstore at her. I can se e his expression change from normal to tense as he says Okay. He starts to think. And think. He sees me looking at him. Okay, he says again five seconds later. He starts to w alk. It s a death march. He s going slowly with his eyes fixed on her. Just as he g ets near her, he loops around and comes back. Give me a minute, he says. There s a very simple rule in pickup, probably one of the first rules guys learn. It s called the 3-second rule: if you see a girl, don t wait more than three seconds to approach her. This rule is one of the most important rules when it comes to approach anxiety. The longer you wait before you walk up and talk to that girl, the more your anxiety builds and builds and builds. You wait long enough and i t is almost certain the approach will fail. She can tell when you ve waited ten s econds or twenty seconds or two minutes before you approach her. How can she tell? Is she telepathic? No. It s written all over your body. The tension is everywhere. There is apprehension in your voice. You re faltering. You are thinking at a billion miles an hour. Ah, thinking. If we could only tur n off that deluge of thoughts that comes in like a fire hose and drenches our co nfidence. Conversely, if you approach her before you have time to think, your n ervousness is at a minimum. You don t have time to brace yourself. Your braced read iness is what causes you to fail. You become shut off, self-protective and antic ipatory of a bad reaction all the hallmarks of the guy with social anxiety. You end up closed off and unintelligent, instead of open, exploratory, welcoming and fun, exactly how you want her to be with you. A lot of my best approaches happened when I wasn t even expecting myself to do it. All of a sudden I was talking to her. In studies of school children, it was de termined that the time it takes for them to approach each other was the number o ne factor in determining social success.

Asendorpf developed an observational system for coding children s contact initiatio n behaviors. The category most closely related to dispositional shyness was the percentage of observed wait-and-hover among all initiations, defined as the child a pproaches the physical proximity of a partner, stops, and observes the activity of the partner for at least 3 seconds without speaking . Here, watching occurs wit hin a self-interrupted approach. (Jens Asendorpf, 1985) It is no coincidence that the 3-second rule and Asendorpf s study honed in on thre e seconds as an appropriate time frame within which the approach will succeed. There is also a strong correlation to another important part of becoming uninhib ited and successful with women: spontaneity. Even within interactions when we become fearful and non-spontaneous, the interac tion suddenly becomes dreadful and boring for her. One of the best things you c an do for yourself is practice getting better at approaching women immediately. If you are unable to do a full-on approach immediately upon noticing the woman, you can practice at least engaging women when you see them. You see a hot woman. Not ready to approach? Immediately go up and ask her for di rections. Which way to the bathroom? if you re in a bar. Do you know how to get to the library ut on the streets. Don t worry about getting a good reaction out of her. The point is to do it over a nd over and kill your hesitation. Kill your hesitation and your interactions st art to get smoother than butter. Don t let another second pass. Approach her now! photo by chelseacharliwhite -----------What True Intimacy Means for Women JOSEPH W SOUTH JULY 31, 2008 COMMENTS OFF couple-intimacy Women almost universally say that they crave Intimacy. And the world is literally filled with propaganda as to what this means for a woman. In my opinion, when it comes to sex and intimacy, most men have this completely ass backwards. I deduce this from two areas: 1. Watching the way society says intimacy should be sought, observing AFCs actin g it out, and observing both AFCs and their female partners grow increasingly frustrated. To me this is an easily observable frame and I see it all the time with couples who ar e out having a supposedly intimate dinner together. 2. Feedback I get from the women I ve been intimate with. You ll note that a lot of this feedback, by definition, is not the sitting around the fire type of chit chat. It is very ve rbal in the form of the SEX TALK I get and it is very EXPLICIT. Attraction + Co mfort + Logistics = Sex. When you hear a woman talk about Intimacy , consider that she means a real, deep connection with the man at every phase here.

Attraction. You are an attractive man and you know it. The same way a beautiful woman knows it; not the way a tryhard thinks he knows it. This means you are not phased by her looks; you can really adore her looks but you can see past her look s. She s feminine. She s vulnerable. Most men she interacts with haven t even the capability of seeing past her looks. You might need to use C&F or a neg or two to demonstrate this sometimes. But as for negs, view those as training wheels; they are mere demonstrations that you a re not phased by her looks. The next level for you is to bypass looks as an issue that need any compensatory tactic at all. From experience, I can say that this h appens automatically when the company of beautiful women becomes routine for you . As in, only with experience and time. Comfort. Comfort is - Fuck her and fuck - Not embarrass her - Not be looking to all about having her trust you. Trust that you can: her well socially in the process her for comfort.

That last point is important and underscores a key difference between men and wo men: A woman looks to a man to provide her with comfort. A man needs to be comfo rtable also before he can have sex , but he must get that comfort from within hi mself and never from the woman! Incongruousness is simply where your outer actions do not match your inner belie fs. Don t believe you can fuck this woman properly? Then you probably won t be doing so, other than in your mind at home jerking off. Don t absolutely know she is saf e in your hands, physically but equally important, socially? Then she won t feel n early comfortable enough with you to fuck you. This is precisely why the AFC technique of dating can be effective but so massiv ely inefficient. Only a after a long process of courting can she finally feel sa fe enough with you, that you are essentially harmless . But what has that done for the Attraction part in the meantime? Logistics . Again, book knowledge can help a lot, but real experience is required. You can read all about logistics, but w ithout experience, it will be tough to convince her that you can execute the log istics in a safe way for her. Stay Tuned for Part 2 coming soon! photo by Stoichiometry -------------------Talk to Women as if Nothing is At Stake KP JULY 29, 2008 2 first-date The three easiest women to talk to are usually the women you find unattractive, women who are married to friends of yours, or women who are paid to be friendly to you like waitresses, clothing store clerks, bartenders, etc. Why are these wo men easy to talk to? Because you don t want ugly women, you know that service peop le are being paid to be nice to you, and married women are unavailable. There s no thing to gain by talking to them. There s nothing AT STAKE. So what s the big deal? This information gets you nowhere , right? Wrong.

Because the concept of what s AT STAKE is a key to your success with the gorgeous, healthy, fit, smart, sexy, wild, funny, sweet women you WANT. How does this he lp you with the women you WANT? In ed ct nd the spirit of the green trend that s sweeping the nation right now, what you ne to do is REMEMBER the mindset of there being nothing AT STAKE when you intera with gorgeous, healthy, fit, smart, sexy, wild, funny, sweet women you want a RECYCLE the mindset.

You don t have to change your approach. Change your REASON for approaching. Your g ame will improve NATURALLY. Women are drawn to a man who doesn t covet his opportu nities with women. Instead of approaching women out of a desire to get something for yourself (love /affection/approval/etc.), approach because you find women interesting. Be curio us about how they see the world, how they feel in the moment, how they perceive other people, and how they interact with their surroundings. Most importantly, don t ever consider what s at STAKE (your ego/your happiness/your urges/etc.) and just approach, engage, and cut em loose. Consider it a grand expe riment to find out more about women. If you find that women who turn you on mak e you nervous and blow your mindset, try this. It is an easy, practical way to r ecycle and re-install the nothing is at stake mindset. I call it high concept. h concept is a simple concept usually used to explain a film. I use it to explai n the concept of having a whole conversation about a simple idea. Decide that you will ask the same simple question of ten women in one day. Regar dless of their answer, you will not engage but simply accept it, thank them, and walk away. Ask them anything, or borrow one of my favorites: Peanut butter and w hat? Simply ask, and let them answer. When they do, give them a Thanks. Just loo king for some new ideas. Walk away. By the time you ask the tenth woman this question, you ll have heard several ways of answering the question and you should be pretty comfortable asking it. You wi ll be calm and confident regardless of your target. You will have effectively re cycled the nothing at stake mindset into being a regular behavior of yours. When you ve questioned ten women, start over, but this time start reacting to thei r answer. Give them a rating from 1 to 10. When you meet a jelly, say Oh come on, how about a little imagination. Raisins maybe? Honey? Celery? Or if you get s omething really wild back say Wow. I ll give you two points for that answer. What kind of a woman puts fried bananas with peanut butter?? Now hit the field! KP photo by Stoichiometry ------------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes Book Summary: Lucid Dreaming: A Conscious Guide to Awakening in Your Dreams and i

Hig

n Your Life by Stephen LaBerge JORDAN HARBINGER OCTOBER 13, 2012 1 Book Summary: Lucid Dreaming: A Conscious Guide to Awakening in Your Dreams and i n Your Life by Stephen LaBerge We re asleep for 25% of our lives. That s a lot of time to be lying around doing no thing. Whether you want to use that time to better yourself or are just looking to add a bit of fun to your night (or morning, really), lucid dreaming can help . You ve probably had a few lucid dreams already. While sleeping you become aware o f the fact you re dreaming. You realize: Hell yeah! I can do anything I want! and y ou go do that. And it s awesome. They re so awesome they prompted Steven Laberge to spend a bunch of years studying lucid dreaming over at Stanford before starting his own research lab. He s writt en a few books to help you become a consistent lucid dreamer and talks about all the cool stuff you can do with your dreams. The book I read was Lucid Dreaming: A conscious guide to awakening in your dreams and in your life . Here s the rundow n. First off, even if you think you don t dream, you do. Everyone does, we just tend to forget them. Dreams happen during the deep relaxation period of our sleep c ycle, which means you have a different dream every 90 minutes and probably avera ge about 4 dreams per night. We can use lucid dreaming for personal growth, personal exploration, problem sol ving, developing a new skill, or just having fun. Here are some examples from t he book on how to get more from your dreams. Conquering Fear You can use dreaming to work with a negative emotion in order to diminish its in fluence in your day to day living. Let s take fear as an example. In your dream you may face something that you re afraid of, whether it s a person that causes you anxiety (women?) or a fire-breathing dragon of doom. When this occurs, if you re lucid you can make the choice to face that fear. Doing so in a safe environment such as a dream allows you to explore that fear more deeply, see what is really underlying that emotion, and overcome it. It may be a fear you already know ab out, or may be something that s been locked away in your subconscious mind. Eithe r way this process of facing fear and overcoming it becomes a learned pattern of behavior. Do it enough and you ll learn to respond to fear by exploring it, not running from it. You can desensitize yourself from what used to scare you and b uild a new confidence and fearlessness for your waking life. Adjust Your Attitude Sometimes if you have a strong dream at night, when you wake up it affects your e motional state in the morning. With (lucid dreaming) we could cultivate wholeso me states of mind while dreaming, and that would be a benefit Dalai Lama Pretty self-explanatory: Have an awesome dream, and you ll wake up feeling great and ready to crush the day. Practice Important Stuff Everything is easier with practice. Whether it s a presentation for work or askin g the cute secretary out (well, actually, you should never date your secretary), the more times you ve done it the more confident you ll be. Use lucid dreaming as a practice field for whatever challenges you have coming up. You re brain doesn t k now the difference between what is actual and what s imagined, so even though you

may be making that presentation for the first time in your waking life you ll feel as though you ve done it before. Other Benefits The book goes on to talk about the use of dreams to deal with the darker side of o ne s personality. Whether it s dealing with reoccurring dreams or learning to open up a dialogue with dream characters, by working with and getting a deeper unders tanding of our dreams we gain a deeper understanding of our own selves and the r eality of our waking life. Of course, you could always just use this ability to throw a Superbowl-winning t ouchdown pass and then fly off to the moon for a hot date with Kate Upton. Your choice. Becoming Lucid in Your Dreams For some people lucid dreaming is pretty easy to pick up, for others it may take a while. You may become lucid on your first night of practice, or it could tak e a month or more of diligent practice until it happens. The book lists a bunch of methods and even comes with a CD to listen to before going to bed. Here s a f ew of the techniques to get you started. Dream Journal Keep a journal by your bed. First thing every morning pick up the journal and w rite as much as you can about the dream you just had. You may not be able to re member anything at first, but give it a couple of minutes and you may be surpris ed with what you eventually recall. It may help to ask yourself what was I just thinking about or to scan your moods and feelings for clues as to what you may ha ve been going through your mind. Before falling asleep Tell yourself that you want to awaken from and remember your dreams. Repeat ove r and over next time I m dreaming I will remember I m dreaming , and mean it. Imagine yourself in a dream, recognizing a dream sign (you re talking with Lincoln, your f ace is made of pudding whatever makes you realize oh, that must mean I m dreaming . Th e book has more info on how to create your own consistent dream signs) and pictu re yourself carrying out whatever it is you want to do in that lucid dream. After you picture yourself going through the dream, start the exercise over (rep eating next time I m dreaming ) and continue this practice until you re asleep. Get the book! Lucid Dreaming: A Conscious Guide to Awakening in Your Dreams and in Your Life Stephen LaBerge Amazon Link Kindle Edition ---------------The 5 Most Lethal Flirting Mistakes By Jordan Harbinger | 12/22/2011 | Mind, Body & Soul Dating & Relationships | by

11 Comments Facebook Twitter Stumble Google+ Save As you probably know, generating attraction is one of the most crucial parts of having success with women. It s how you wedge your foot in the door and create a s olid first impression, which makes all the difference between filling your phone with lovely ladies numbers and not. What you may not know is, skillful flirting i s as much about what you don t do as what you do. With that in mind, here are five game-killers to avoid when chatting up the girls who ve caught your eye. 1. Lacking Confidence a lack of confidence turns women offIn the entire history of mankind, this facia l expression has never led to good things. Your confidence is the number one thing you ve got going for you. That zitty hipst er guy in the ugly vintage sweater with the hot girl? He wipes his butt with con fidence. That s why she s buying him drinks. If you re lacking in confidence, you can start by pretending to be confident, and eventually you will be. It s called fake it till you make it. We know this sounds like some garbage out of The Secret, but we swear that it works. Practice taking the initiative with women and never eve r, ever say anything about how you don t think you re doing it right. (Otherwise you l l sound like a high school kid, and not in a cute Fast Times at Ridgemont High w ay either.) Just plow ahead, and even if she disagrees with some of your moves, she ll respect you, which she needs to do in order to be attracted to you. 2. Lying pinocchio figure made of woodContrary to popular belief, Pinocchio did not actua lly have a ton of game. We re not saying you can t exaggerate, fudge the truth or even lay out a creative vers ion of reality. After all, women pretty much expect us to do that. Outright bull crap, though, is another matter entirely. While it might (might) get a girl back to your place for the night, you d better never want to see her again. Actually, you d better hope you never even run into her again, because there s no way you re goi ng to remember that whole original drunken spiel the second time around. She pro bably will, though. You know how chicks are. If she calls you out as a liar, con grats, you ve just created a cock block for life. 3. Telling Sketchy Stories three guys with a dancer at a bachelor partyIs it just us, or do the pantyhose k inda ruin it? The time you stole a statue from the front of a church might be a really cool st ory, honestly. We re sure your friends will get a huge kick out of it. However, th e women you are seeking to win over at the bar probably won t. Save the stories ab out tearing it up on your friend s bachelor party or the time you cheated on your last girlfriend for the locker room. Women like men of integrity and good charac ter. The ones who don t aren t ones you want to be dating in the first place. 4. Talking About Your Ex derek jeter in yankee uniform with arm around minka kellyWe re not sure you need o ur advice, Derek, but don t mention Minka to the new girls. Never, ever, under any circumstances, discuss your ex. Never bring her up, and i

f the girl asks, give the least amount of information possible. You might as wel l talk about how your new Valtrex prescription is doing a bang-up job on your he rpes sores. She does not want to know that your ex exists, period. If, for whate ver reason, you find yourself incapable of restraining yourself, say positive, u nemotional things about her. But seriously, avoid this subject like Justin Biebe r avoids puberty. 5. Hanging On Her man clings to a lingerie lady on a postProbably not gonna call him back. Mostly because she doesn t appear to have hands. They call it game for a reason: it s supposed to be fun. When you re flirting with a g irl, you re being playful, not shopping for furniture together. Flirt a bit and wh en the conversation reaches a natural conclusion, bounce and find something else to do. Don t worry, pal, she knows that you re there, and she ll make her way back to you if she wants more. This works especially well, because if she finds you lat er on, you know she s DTF (down to flirt). And if she s playing hard to get, don t swe at it! Have a drink or two and find her again, but definitely don t spend the enti re night gripping her arm like you re afraid she s going to run off with someone els e. It s pretty much the best way to ensure that she will.

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach . He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationship s coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com. You can also intera ct with Jordan on Facebook.

Read more: http://www.mademan.com/the-5-most-lethal-flirting-mistakes/#ixzz2wFpv P2t4 -------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes 3 Ways To Identify A Crazy Chick LIZ LEIA JANUARY 11, 2011 3

If you re the kind of guy who constantly falls for *great* girls only to have them show their true psycho colors later on down the road, then there s no time like t he new year to get a new dating strategy. Knowing how to weed out the psycho gir ls from those who are just having a bad day (or week or month ) can be tough, especi ally because rose-colored glasses blind us to red flags. Most men are never taught the difference between a woman who is healthily expres sing emotions vs. a woman who is throwing a temper tantrum, or a woman who is ca lling you out on your sh*t vs. a woman who is just being cruel and emotionally a busive. Because of this, most men either become doormats to a strong woman, or the y are so afraid of becoming doormats themselves that they freak out at the sligh test emotional upset and then findthemselves alone, wondering where all the good women are. Here are 3 ways that you can start to pick out the good apples from the bunch: 1. How does she handle a compliment? Giving a woman a compliment is a good way to test her level of self-worth, which is a huge factor in how stable is. If a woman brushes off your compliment, or worse, distrusts it ( I bet you say tha t to all the girls. ), then this is a sign that she has low self esteem. She doesn t believe that you could actually think she is beautiful, or smart, or (fill-in-t he-blank), and you must have an ulterior motive for saying so. A guy will bust his balls trying to please this kind of woman in a relationship, but nothing will make her happy because she is already unhappy. Attempts to ple ase her will likely be distrusted, just like the compliment was. For example, You only got me flowers because you want sex tonight. Because this kind of woman doe sn t see her own self-worth, she will not trust or respect a man who does see it. For women who know they are physically beautiful, look at how they respond to co mpliments on their personality, like how intelligent or funny they are. The worl d is full of women who are confident in their exterior and super insecure on the inside. For women have a sense of entitlement because they are hot, this is usu ally the case. Look for a woman who responds to compliments, gifts, and nice ges tures (like buyingher a drink) with genuine appreciation and receptivity. A big smile and a Thank you! is usually a good sign. 2. How does she handle it when you say no ?

To be the one who wears the pants in the relationship, you need to be able to ma ke strong decisions and stick to them. Women are generally pretty intuitive when a man says no but his reasons are BS. The more in touch a woman is with her femin inity, the better she will be at knowing when you aren t completely strong and onpurpose, and she will test the heck out of you. If you are being evasive or wishy-washy about a decision that contradicts what s he wants in that moment, she will do her best to push you over so she can have h er way. If you experience this kind of conflict, then stop and take a minute to evaluate your choice. If you do change your mind to match what she wants, make s ure it s because you are making a new decision and not because you are giving in t o her. This is important. If you want to maintain yourself as the masculine partner in the relationship, then you need to maintain yourself as the leader. Again, all w omen will test your boundaries to make sure that they are strong. Although it mi ght not appear this way, she wants you to stay strong. On the other hand, psycho women will actually want to control you. This is usually some kind of defense m echanism and results from a lack of ability to trust others. With this kind of w oman, what usually happens is that she isn t happy unless she gets her way, but sh

e also unconsciously resents you for letting her pussy-whip you, and over time s he will develop contempt and constantly be a nag. The difference to look for is how a woman respects you saying no to her when you do have a solid reason. With a quality woman who is testing you to see if you re strong, if you ARE strong, then there will come a point where you will demonstra te that and then she will respectfully consent to your decision. 3. How does she handle her own emotions? There s a misconception out there that a stable person doesn t get all emotional. Deny ing or repressing your emotions does way more harm than good. Women are emotiona l creatures. We ALL have those days where we are overwhelmed with emotion, feeli ng cranky, crying at commercials just because it s that time of the month (female readers, don t deny it). Don t look for a woman who doesn t have or express emotions she might appear more groun ded but it s more likely that she s repressing; this will not work out well foreither of you down the road. Instead, look for a woman who has no problem expressing her emotions but doesn t t ake them out on you. Even if a woman is angry with you or hurt by something you did, she should be able to express that without name-calling and/or viscous rema rks. That said, most women even the good ones will let the occasional nasty comment slip out; what to watch out for is a woman who consistently processes her emotio ns by verbally attacking you without remorse. One of the key differences here is how much responsibility she takes for her emo tions. The psycho chick will often blame you for her unhappiness and hold you re sponsible for keeping her happy and calm. ( If you had just called when you said y ou would, then I would be happy instead of pissed off! ). In contrast, when a woma n takes responsibility for her emotions, she recognizes that they are hers to de al with. She might turn to you for emotional support, but that s not supposed to c reate drama. For example, one of my female friends had one of those emotional day s where she was upset and overwhelmed (and had cramps). When her boyfriend came h ome from work, she told him she wasn t feeling good and he drew her a hot bath, mi xed her a cocktail, and they talked until she felt better. So remember, while all women have bad days, a woman who consistently distrusts y ou, verbally attacks you, and creates drama is not strong, sassy, or free-spirited. e s psycho, and you re better off moving on to a woman who is more stable and emotio nally mature. -----------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes Unsettling Statistics And The Secret to Really Great Sex DAVID SHADE JULY 31, 2009 COMMENTS OFF by Digital Sophia Photography Bed by Digital Sophia Photography Here are some very sad and sobering truths about modern sexuality: Sh

Between 10% and 15% of all American women have never experienced orgasm, and 65% of female population can t orgasm in intercourse [1. SexualHealth.com http://www. sexualhealth.com] Only 23% of women always/almost always orgasm in intercourse [2. Durex Sexual We llbeing Survey http://www.durex.com/en-us/sexualwellbeingsurvey] 36% of women never or rarely achieve clitoral orgasm during penetrative sex, but 85% often or always achieve clitoral orgasm by self-stimulation [3. UK Orgasm S urvey http://www.orgasmsurvey.co.uk/pressrelease.htm] Over half of all women have REGULARLY FAKED an orgasm [4. Wikipedia http://en.wi kipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm] Stop and take a moment to think about what this means. If you are a man reading this, it means 50% of the women you have had sex with faked an orgasm. And if th e other half were able to orgasm with you, it probably happened because they use d their hands or a vibrator. If you are a woman reading this it means there is a 1-in-3 chance you have never had an orgasm. And if you have been fortunate enou gh to experience an orgasm, it most likely wasn t from having sex with your man. T his is a sad reality about modern sexuality because ALL healthy women can have o rgasms during sex! Modern medicine wants to put the blame on women for these pro blems, and the bozos in the male enhancement industry want you to think your size the problem. They are both feeding you a load of crap to make money. All Of Us Are Sexual Creatures All of us are born sexual creatures. (I realize this may come as a shock to many guys, to learn women are sexual too). Fact is, if we weren t sexual we would die off. But no one is born knowing how to have Great Sex any more than you are born knowing how to walk. The good news is learning to have good sex is like learnin g how to walk, once you ve got it, you won t have to think about it. You ll just do it . Listen, any guy can figure out how to stick it in and pump-n-dump. In fact this is what most guys do. It s also why 70% of women never orgasm during sex. Face it i f you want your woman to orgasm, you must understand what she needs. This is wha t I m here for, to help you figure it out. The Secret To Really Great Sex You probably won t believe this once you see it, but it is the true secret to grea t sex with your woman. Do this, and she will do anything to make you happy, beca use no other man will have ever done this for her. This is the secret to being a truly Masterful Lover. EVERYTHING I teach is based on this one secret. Are you ready? Good, here it is Stop thinking about getting sex from women. Instead focus o n giving your woman Incredible Pleasure by giving her Really Good Sex. In short F OCUS ON THE WOMAN S PLEASURE instead of your own. She will be so thrilled she will want you to feel just as much pleasure as you have given her. Now, you might ju st have had to stop and let the power of this wash over you. Excellent! You have just taken a major step towards being the kind of lover women dream about. When you love nothing more than to give a woman the most powerful long-lasting orgas m of her life This will make you stand out like a great Dane in a room full of ch ihuahuas (If you are thinking bull crap , there isn t much I can do to help you. You should probably click away now to one of the 3,150,000 websites on sexual positi ons or one of the 2,070,000 websites on male-enhancement.) Everything You Need To Satisfy A Woman Is Already Within Her There are so many men who only focus on their own needs when it comes to sex. Yo u only have ask a woman or poke around online to know this is true. Thing is, it s amazingly easy to stand out from these lame lovers by doing just this one simpl e thing Focus On Her Pleasure. If you have this as your mind-set, you ll easily fig ure out how to do this because you are now paying attention to everything she wa nts you to know about her body and what she likes. Everything you need to satisf y her is already inside her, and she WANTS you to discover it. But you must Pay

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Attention! This is the essence of what it means to be a Masterful Lover ------------Home Podcast Best Of Coaching Business Q & A Bookshelf Subscribe iTunes Wing Girl Advice: Too Much Outer Game = BAD results APRIL 29, 2009 COMMENTS OFF wingadvice I am constantly getting emails from men around the world asking for advice on wo men. I thought I would share one of these emails with you because Ithink it is s omething you can learn from. This email was written by a 26 year old man in London. He totally has his outer game down pat and his actions should be able to get him most women he wants. The one thing he does not have down is how to transition from outer game to a mo re substantial connecting with the girl he s persuing. Without this connecting, your outer game will be wasted. [Editor: building REAL rapport is something that can 't be created with a routine, but can be learned] If you cannot transition from being the entertainer to being the man, then you w ill never truly be successful with women. Below is his email to the Wing Girls, and my response follows. Dear Wing Girls, It was a singles social boat cruise, and the following are the events that happen ed with one of the cuties I am really interested in. Need some opinion how to pi ck up the momentum. Thursday Night: It was a singles social event, and I was moving around groups of women, busting on them and teasing some. This particular cutie that caught my ey e I approached by grabbing her by her arm and telling follow me. She came along willingly. Me: Why were you avoiding me all night? Her: I was not, you were busy running around with other girls. Me: Wait, are you single? Her: Yes, of course Me: You better be, otherwise I have to kick you off the boat! Her :<laughs> Me: Are you a Good girl or a Nice girl? Her: Naughty but nice. Me: Do you speak English? Her: Yes. <giggles> Me: Choose one then good or nice? Her: Nice I guess? Me. Do you know the difference? Her: You tell me. Me: Good Girl goes out, comes home and sleeps, a Nice Girl goes out, sleeps and comes home. Her: <laughs> Me: Do you know the difference between a Good Secretary and a Nice Secretary? Her: No, go ahead. Me: Good Secretary will say, Good morning, Sir, and a Nice Secretary will say, It s morning, Sir. Her: <laughs>

Then we have a chat about where she is staying, her ethnic mix, and places she h as traveled. She turns out to be Singaporean and British. Then I say, I bet you s uck at Thumb-wrestling! Her: Bring it on. Me: I do not play without a wager. Her: What is the wager? Me: Loser buys dinner. Her: OK Me: No Cheating! Best out of 3, GO! We wrestle, and it s 1 1. Last round I start to tickle her and wrestle/hug her. It s g ood fun with some tension. I lose on purpose cuz I tickled her. I say ok, give m e your number and we ll set something up. We part. The next hour, we exchange glances and I throw a few I m watching you and Stay out of trouble lines at her, at which she giggles (most probably from a nice dosage of alcohol consumption.) Friday: Cool off Saturday: Message her to check if she got home alive and ask for her email addre ss. She replies ok and gives me her email address. Sunday Morning: Call and leave a message. She calls back and we have a chat abou t setting a date, but we both have commitments. She mentions briefly to touch ba se next weekend if we can do something together. I say, Ok, we ll see. I then ask her what is she up to? It s almost noon, and why is she lazing like a p ig? She giggle and says she has plans with some friends to watch Sex and the Cit y. Me: So which character best describes you? Her: I dunno, what do you think? Me: I think you are a Samantha in Charlotte disguise. Her: Noooooo, No one likes to be her, its not nice. Me: Are you judging her? You are even more evil. Her: <giggles> Nooo hahah etc. Me: I gotta go, got training, will call and catch up. I text her later telling her I had to cut her short cuz I was dealing with Londo n traffic. TOURIST. Will call at night to catch up and have some stimulating con versations. End with Charlotte and a wink. Called her at 22:30, went to her voice mail, I say, Ahh, playing hard to get? Che eky! Holla back! Not heard from her since. Tuesday 11PM, sent her a funny text: It s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you, a man who is great in the sack. It s also important that these 3 men should never meet! How are you doing? Did not receive any reply. Any opinion as to how I can pick my game up again? I will share my response a little later, but I wanted to use this email to show you an example of how many men can get carried away with too much outer game. So carried away that they lose the girl. Listen, I am the first one to admit I LOVE THE GAME!! I love the banter, the but terflies, the teasing, all of it. It is fun, but only for a night, maybe two top s. After that, I need something a little more substantial. When I met Mystery at David DeAngelo s seminar, where we were both speaking, I can honestly say he captivated me. He was able to pull me away from a crowd of people, talk with me for two hours, and keep me completely focused on him. I understand how his game works, and it w orked on me. It worked on me because it was fun and exciting and it challenged me. I did not feel madly in love with him, nor did I think we had a great connection, but I ha d an urge for him to like me, respect me and want me. But once we had separated, I did not think of him again. His magic only worked for a short period of time because I had nothing real to l atch onto so that I could feel connected. I was simply entertained.

I have many clients that have done several PUA programs. These men have no probl ems engaging and approaching women, but after that they are helpless. They do not know how to have real conversations, nor do they listen to women. Ba sically they have learned to tap dance for women, and once the dance is over the women leave. I am a big fan of programs like Mystery s because he teaches men to be comfortable in their own skins. He shows them they can be that guy they have always wanted to be. They are worthy and deserving of everything that others have. I would rec ommend his material to any one of my clients. But where his program falls short is that it does not teach men what to do next. I t is hard to keep up banter. It gets exhausting. I am going to give you a straight and honest female perspective. As a man, you have to give women a little more than just a moment of entertainme nt. If your goal is to get a woman to sleep with you for an evening, then outer game works great! Routines, magic tricks, anything that captures your audience a nd gets them excited will work perfectly. But if you are looking to be with a woman for a longer period of time you will n ever succeed without showing a bit more substance. This is what makes connecting with her possible, and without that, your outer game is useless. Here is how I responded to the email above. What I noticed from your email is that you need to STOP playing a game. Games li ke this are good in the moment. They are fun and entertaining and get a girl s hea rt racing, but once this moment or period in time has passed, reality sets in an d girls realize what this behavior really means. It means player, games, and sex with no phone call the next day. Again, if you want to sleep with women, great tactic, but you need to move fast or the euphoric feeling will disappear. If your goal is to date and have relatio nships, then you are totally using the wrong approach. Not sure what you were trying to accomplish. The routine you have described will totally get a girl back to your room if you take the right steps to lead her th ere. Seeing that you took your time makes me think you were looking for somethin g more. One other key thing I noticed was the Sex and the City joke. First, very impress ed you knew the characters. Second, no woman wants to be referred to as a Samant ha by a man who is trying to sleep with her. It makes her feel slutty and used. It also makes her think that there is only one thing on that man s mind, and that makes her feel dirty. Women want to be in control of their own sexuality and kno w that they are being respected. Do not pigeon hole women by telling them who they are. Let them tell you who the y are. You will get way more out a woman that way. To save yourself from this co mment, it would have been smart to send her better text that had more heart atta ched to it, more of the real you. I think you would have gotten a response. What I try to teach to all of my clients is that balance is so important. Outer game is fun and exciting, and most women, especially the great ones, will engage in it. But every outer game needs to have some substance behind it. It s al l about connecting, because once you run out of outer game, you need to make sur e you have something left. Thank you for contacting The Wing Girl Method. It is very important to have balance in the way you present yourself to women. Outer game is fun, exciting and most women, especially the great ones, will enga ge in it. But behind every show of outer game needs to be something of substance. Somethi ng a woman can hold onto that makes her feel that there is more to this male than games, banter and playfulness. Remember, Wing Girls are here for you. We re in your corner. If you like this post, and you d like more Marni in your life, visit http://www.wi nggirlmethod.com/blog/

------------------The Art of Baiting STEPHEN NASH OCTOBER 18, 2008 COMMENTS OFF bait women I sort of discovered this skill by observing naturals in action. I noticed that they never really ask questions (unless they want to) and have what is often ref erred to as the gift of gab What they do is quite simply TALK they are telling some one, indirectly, who they are. They don t, for example, haul out their resume and list all of the cool things they have done. Rather, they indicate them via their stories, comments and replies. Baiting can be defined best by an example. Take a close look at the following di alogue and see if you can understand where I am baiting the woman. ME: (touching her sweater) mmm cashmere love a warm sweater. Growing up in the mount ains, I always had such warm clothes for the wintertime. Whenever I wear one now , it reminds me of my youth. HER: The mountains? Where did you grow up? ME: Oh, the mountains of North Carolina. I lived there through high school. Grow ing up in a small town, and particularly when you mother has a central position in the community, you learn a lot about everything government, the arts, persona lities, scandal, commerce you name it. Small town life makes people very well-roun ded. HER: What did your mother do? ME: She published the local newspaper. So, we learned about everything first, th en communicated it to the community in print. We had some wild experiences in th at place! Obviously, though, I left, and ended up focusing on a career in school which helped me get to where I am today. HER: Where did you go to school? What are you doing now? OK, so I could go on forever with this scenario. Baiting is when you demonstrate your personality, inviting a question from her to you. So, you do not want to r eveal an ENTIRE fact about your life. What you lps guys and gets gets her want to do is to HINT at it, thus, baiting a question from her. This he get out of the traditional pattern of asking tons of questions of her, her asking questions of you. This is a much more powerful dynamic that chasing you.

This is a very elegant skill, one that is subtle, but very very empowering. As I mentioned, the basic rule of thumb is to bait her until she is asking you q uestions. THEN, feel free to ask questions of her. Get it? Also, it is very important that you demonstrate your interest in her by asking q uestions and complimenting her. This should be done in the connect phase. It is cr itical that you let her know that you find her interesting, and worth getting to know further. But, only do this when she has indicated an interest in you by asking questions of you. When she does this, you know she is hooked. Otherwise, why would she ask you a question?

By baiting her, she is the one to shift the dynamic into the getting to know you tage of an interaction, rather than you. It is an essential skill to hooking her into the conversation. This technique empowers you out of the traditional question asking scenario (BOR ING), and into the more interesting dynamic of you leading by demonstrating your personality. You come across as more powerful, and less supplicating. Naturals do this all the time. Truthfully, this is a VERY hard skill to master. I have really just touched the surface of it here. I cover it a lot in my private work with guys, and in the Cu tting Edge Image Consulting product line. What you ll want to learn over time is h ow to reveal the right things at the right time. But that takes experience.

I challenge each of you to get out into the world, and TRY this skill of baiting with the people you naturally meet. The next woman you are introduced to, try s imply indicating who you are via this social skill. You never want to directly b rag to anyone about anything, but you can indicate things subtly which can then pique someone s interest this is the best way to build fascination and intrigue in m y experience. Good luck! photo by wili hybrid --------------What Intimacy Means for A Woman (part 2) JOSEPH W SOUTH AUGUST 11, 2008 1 couple-intimacy Continued from Part 1: http://pickuppodcast.com/blogv2/2008/07/31/what-true-inti macy-means-for-a-woman/ INTIMACY When a woman who is with a man who can execute all of the above in a confident way, she can say she feels intimate with him. Why? Because he is relating to he r as a woman, in a way that almost no other man does. She will get the feeling that she is with a man who finally understands her. What Intimacy Is Not - Intimacy for a woman is not when you pour out your heart to her. That s you look ing to her for comfort. It will repel her. As a heterosexual woman she will not feel sexually attracted toward a man who needs her to generate comfort. She migh t feel maternal only if she has enough affection toward you. - Intimacy for a woman is not you being passive in bed. Again, it demonstrates a fear of her and putting her on a pedestal. This type of energy is the way littl e boys treat their mothers. Most mothers don t have the urge to fuck their sons af ter they ve wiped the snot off their noses. - Sexual Intimacy for a woman is not when you act like her therapist, letting he r use you like an emotional tampon. That type of intimacy is reserved for her gi rlfriends. - Intimacy for a woman is not when you are an abusive hardass that has no empath y. When I say Empathy I want you guys to feel understanding for the woman withou t becoming a woman. These types of low-level alpha males who have no empathy can g enerate a lot of sexual attraction in a woman, but not real intimacy.

How to Know When You Are Really Intimate with a Woman Women love gentle teasing. When she wants you to kiss her more/fuck her harder/m ove faster, when she is supplicating to you as her man, she is opening herself u p to you completely. You are in complete control of the interaction. You are lea ding her on a roller-coaster ride of highs and lows. If you are in complete char ge + she is loving it = Intimacy for her. Whether you are whispering things in her ear, commanding her to perform a certai n action, telling her a story, escalating sexually, or otherwise leading, you wi ll see that she is in a virtual hypnotic state. That means she is feeling intima te with you. When you have a Good Girl horny enough and comfortable enough with you to cry ou t fuck my little pussy! PLEASE! it means she is feeling very, very Intimate with y ou. Think about it guys: When a woman says you make her feel wonderful, it means she feels close to you, she knows that you really understand her, her mind and her body. That s Intimacy for a woman. The problem with society is they paint male-fe male intimacy as either in a boy-mother light or a girlfriend-girlfriend light. When a woman talks about being Intimate with her male lover, those are not the t wo kinds of intimacy she is talking about. We are here to learn about a more mas culine way to create Intimacy for the woman. photo by Stoichiometry ---------Does She Want to be Kissed? STEPHEN NASH JULY 28, 2008 9 couple-kissing Hey guys - I ve got a huge topic to discuss with you today. I can safely say it s s omething you ve wondered about, (if you re like most of the guys I meet) and that yo u re still probably a little confused by it. At the end of this message is a trie d & true technique that will ALWAYS give you the answer to the question: Is she ready to be kissed? You never want to make your move too soon, of course but you also never want to wait forever, closing the door on the sexual tension that is flowing. I got an interesting question from a guy named Darren a few weeks back, which gives me th e ideal path into this topic: And hats off to him, because he honestly admits h is shortcoming. Most guys won t admit it, but they fumble this moment like a rookie running back. Want to be Walter Payton? Listen up: Dear Stephen, Recently, I was out on a date with a great girl I met at a party. A number of ti mes in the evening, she would look at me and hold the stare a bit longer than us ual. I kept thinking, she wants me to kiss her . was so nervous though, that I neve r went for it! What is the best way to set up a kiss with a girl? I mean, I know how to kiss her, I just wonder if there is a cool way to make the move. Help! Thanks, Darren

CT Darren, Darren, Darren I feel your pain, man. First of all, don t worry this is by far the TOP question I get from guys. smoothly go from talking to kissing? How do I

Surprisingly, even the most skilled guys I ve come across are constantly looking t o handle this tricky situation a bit better. So, here we go the step-by-step guide to being super smooth when it s time to smoo ch: In my estimation, this is where most guys blow it. They know the girl is ready t o be kissed, yet they freeze up and pass a bunch of good opportunities to make a move,waiting for that perfect one. Even worse, they ll wait hoping the woman wil l make the first move. (Don t do that Darren please) If you re the kind of guy who hesitates, I got news for you There are no perfect wi ndows of opportunity, just many good ones,and 99% of the time she will not be th e first to initiate any form of intimacy. If she does, consider yourself lucky. How do we handle this highly charged moment? Very simply (as always with me). Here are some steps, because I have a hunch you like structure (like me): 1) The first thing to make sure of is that you re both having a good time, getting along well and physical contact has been established. It could be anything from holding hands, to a playful push on the shoulder. At this point, it is importan t that she has touched you in some way indicating interest on her part. 2) When you feel you have reached this point, start slowing down the energy of t he interaction. Start subtly moving a bit closer to her, slowing down your spee ch, and take longer pauses between sentences. The thought here is SUBTLE. 3) Now here s the secret, the one move that will assure you to be remembered by he r as the smoothest guy ever During each of those pauses in your conversation,sta re at her lips. You can even start talking again, though slowly, still staring a t her lips. Start slowly moving in closer. The words you re saying at this point b ecome irrelevant; the sexual tension in the air will be too thick. 4) Slowly move your eyes from her mouth to her eyes and back again. If she has n ot moved away, or shown any sign of unease, you can place a hand on her hip and bring her in closer. 5) Usually she will lean in the rest of the way and kiss you. After all, at this stage, your lips should only be an inch or two away from hers. Congratulations ! In her mind, you are now the world s smoothest man. Now, I realize that may be a bit of a high dive for some of you. Let s lower this a bit, and give you one more technique to know if it s on. Women a lways wear perfume, right? It s safe to say that a woman will usually head out with a fragrance and it will u sually be featured around her neck area. Say this: Mmmm, you re wearing a nice fragrance tonight what s the scent? Then, lean in and sub tly sniff her neck. Meanwhile, observe her body language does she flinch when y ou get closer? Or, does she stay calm or even move in to you, inviting you to g

et closer? If it s the latter, then it s TIME no question about it. All you do nex t is simply move back a bit (but not back to where you were before you leaned ov er), and do steps 4 & 5 from above Oh, and take a deep breath you re going to need it. See ya soon, Stephen. photo by applescruff