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This Is No Joke

I hit the punching bag with everything I had. I kind of like the idea. You hit it, but it doesnt hit back. Was I getting stronger even without the suit? I take it you havent done much fighting in your day. Jess stepped in front of the bag. Not much really. She let loose with a quick combo. I know violence doesnt solve everything. She gave the bag a kick. But it does make sure bad doesnt get to worse. It sounds like youve been in some pretty frightening situations. Weve all had our share of trouble. She pounded the bag mercilessly for a few minutes. It was kind of strange; it was hard to reconcile this Jess with the one who made fudge. Well, at least you didnt have to shoot your way out. I was using my salesman smile; I guess I really didnt know how to react. Maybe I did a few times. She turned to me and kissed me on the cheek. You didnt have a gun strapped to your thigh on our date, did you? Ill let your imagination run wild. She grinned and sauntered to the locker room.

As we drove back, an ambulance passed us. I wondered: who was hurt? How bad was it? Theyll be OK. She broke the silence. What? I noticed your eyes darting to the ambulance. Its OK Mitch. Im sure they can handle it. What was that all about? Im sure they can too. So, whats on the menu for the rest of this wonderful Saturday?

2
My cell rang. Dude, Love Me Not is gonna finish it tonight! Seaquans announcement was a mixture of boasting and dread. Really? Tonight of all nights? I had maybe five minutes of power left in the disc. Ill be there. Jess turned to me. Hey, I have a great idea! The aurora borealis is going to be in the sky around 8 PM. It only happens once every few years. Im sorry. I cant something came up at the last minute. I think one of the kids is going to try to break into the community center tonight. Let the cops handle it. This is something I should handle. If the cops get involved, it could get really ugly. Mitch you worry too much. No I dont. Ive volunteered in the Grunge long enough to know how it works. I know what makes these kids tick. The cops will just do their jobs and then go home. They dont care about that place. And you do? Yeah, yeah I do. Its not paradise, but there are a lot of good people there. Someday it will be worth all the effort. I hope.

The Love Me Not gang ran the show for years and when they did there was peace sort of. Recently, the Bones gang had opened a chapter in the heart of the Grunge. No big deal, right? Thats what everybody thought till the Bones started making insane amounts of money. Now Love Me Not are a shrewd bunch of boys; they tried to subcontract the Bones on several occasions. But boys will be boys and things eventually got out of control. That was going to be settled tonight. I slowly drove the car through the Grunge, past the overturned garbage cans and the littered parking lots. There were abandoned shops with rats scurrying out of them and burned out houses. I saw a police car racing by on the highway. How long? How long until our planet became another Salandar? I got out of the car and started walking down the street. Seaquan are you sure this is the house? Yep. Theyre all in there. You better have a good night, cause in a few the whole Love Me Not is headin your way.

3
Brilliant. I flipped my cell closed and put it in my pocket. I could see several Bones standing around in the front yard. Three cars came around a corner and parked. About fifteen youths got out and started walking behind me. This was insane. I quickly ducked into a corner store and got out the disc. No power. Great. I walked out and was about to call the police when I saw him. He had a yellow and purple wresting suit on, complete with a mask that covered his whole head. Behind him, a bright red cape flapped in the night air. His purple boots matched the rest of him. On his chest was an S that he must have sewn on himself; it was a little fuzzy and must have gone through the wash too many times. He was very scrawny and the outfit was clearly too big for him. I approached him. Hey, buddy; this is no place for costume parties. Just stay inside the store sir. He waved me off. He was surprisingly authoritative. Ill handle this. Just be safe; I dont want anyone else to get hurt. I was about to nab him and drag him off to Saint Albans when he ran as fast as he could down the street. The night just went from insane to surreal nightmare. What choice did I have? I ran after him. He stopped outside the house and yelled Beware the Sponge! At first they laughed at him, but when he persisted, he took a powerful blow that knocked him off his feet. I could see both gangs starting to crowd around him; kicking him and stomping on him. You little @#$@^%^$@@!!$#$%! He yelped with horror. Oh God! No! No! I could actually see the blood starting to spatter them under the streetlight. He was taking a horrific pounding; wincing and screaming all the way. The weird thing about it all was that some of the gang members were slowing down, like it was too much effort. Stay down there %^$^**%^$!##@! Someone yelled while hitting him with a bat. Ow! Oh God that hurt! Please! Please stop! The yellow hero begged. All he got was more punishment. Several gang members fell to their knees, as if someone had just pulled the plug on them. I could see them huffing and puffing; they were sweating profusely. They staggered off into the shadows but didnt get very far; they simply collapsed and fell into what looked like a deep sleep. The Sponge slowly got on his feet. I had seen some pretty gruesome things on Salandar, but this was worse. This poor soul was bleeding profusely and missing several teeth. His left arm looked like it had been broken in two spots and his right eye was swollen shut. I was utterly transfixed by the macabre spectacle.

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Okay fellas.thats.thats enough. He spat out. The only response he got was a brutal whack on the head from the baseball bat. He fell to his knees and tried to get up; but the kicking and punching drove him to the ground. Several more gang members fell due to exhaustion, even as their cohorts were shouting obscenities and pummeling the caped crusader. As the blows became more vicious, The Sponge screamed louder and his pleas for mercy became more pitiful. But in between the yelps of pain I could hear him giggling with glee. Finally, in an effort to silence him, someone took a knife and plunged it into his belly. The screams only became louder, but they never did snuff out the maniacal laughter. Please, please stop- Aieeeeee!!!!!!!! The Sponge took a wicked combo from the bat and the knife. What was keeping him alive? By this point, there was only one thug left standing; all the others were simply too tired to do anything. The Sponges body was so broken, bloody, and bruised that it didnt even look human any more. P.pl.please..no.nom..more. He feebly begged. The last man standing took out his last ounce of rage with the bat, the knife, and several gunshots. He stared at his victim as his hand simply let go of the gun. The Sponge slowly got up it was clear that he was in unbelievable pain. What the @#$#%@$#?! The kid was too tired to do more than curse. He fell to his knees and was soon fast asleep. I..ththinkwere done.forthe n.nnight. This bizarre hero slowly staggered towards me, holding on to a chain link fence. Oh my God. Lets go. I wanted to grab him and carry him to the ER, but I was afraid that if I even touched him, he would simply break. Thatsnot.necessary. Our eyes met. This is crazy! You need medical care! You should be dead by now! But Im not. He smiled. I looked at him - his arms and legs were in perfectly good working order. What are you? Are you even human? I was once. But that was a long time ago. He adjusted his mask. His suit was still a mess, but he was no longer bleeding. What just happened back there?

5
I soaked up all their anger their violence. He jumped up and spread out his arms and legs. Beware The Sponge! But how how did you do that? I didnt my doctor did. When I was a kid, I had a rare genetic disease. We went to one specialist after another; but none of them had any answers. But then he came along and changed everything. I owe my life, my very existence to Dr. Orion Harbinger. As I drove home, I found myself chuckling at the brilliant insanity of it all. Beware The Sponge!

Bfk

2014 Benjamin F. Kaye

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