Author Penelope Sheffield Sims

P. S. Sims was born in 1950 in Plymouth, Devon. She followed her childhood dream and became a teacher. She retired in 00! havin" reached the pinnacle of her career by becomin" a head teacher of a lar"e school in #ondon. $ollowin" this she travelled and spent a "reat deal of time in South America, %anada and the %aribbean. She now lives in the &' where her time is devoted to her writin", family research and to her dau"hter, (ora" Sims, who is a playwri"ht and actress.

Dedication )here is such a wealth of material spewin" forth from the mouths of people around you, their actions and mannerisms which can help evolve the creative soul within oneself. )here is a picture to be painted and play to be written or a story to tell. )hese short stories and poems were created from people * have +nown and events * have e,perienced. * dedicate this boo+ to those people.

P. S. Sims ALL IN THE MIND

%opyri"ht P. S. Sims )he ri"ht of P. S. Sims to be identified as author of this wor+ has been asserted by her in accordance with section -- and -. of the %opyri"ht, Desi"ns and Patents Act 19... All ri"hts reserved. /o part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopyin", recordin", or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers. Any person who commits any unauthori0ed act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for dama"es. A %*P catalo"ue record for this title is available from the 1ritish #ibrary. *S1/ 9-. 1!923 !.- . www.austinmacauley.com $irst Published 4 01!5 Austin (acauley Publishers #td. 5 %anada S6uare %anary 7harf #ondon 81! 5#1

Printed and bound in 9reat 1ritain

Ac+nowled"ments )he two short stories and a couple of poems, which were rewritten from notes, were included in this boo+ as they were found after the publication of :(y 1lan+ Sheet of Paper; by Dou"las.

The Green House

<nce upon a time there was a bi" house with a bi" hole near a bi" river in a bi" land. *t was a lonely house and very, very sad. /obody wanted the bi" house = it was sad. >e?ected and 6uiet it stood. All so sad, so silent with pain = so empty with ?oy. @ere was a house for tears. A house with a history of tears. *n this house you could cry with peace. * house which wasA and where it wasA content with tears. )he walls were washed with their painful history of sad years. All was sad. All was 6uiet. <ne day lorries came. People came. #orries went. People went. All was 6uiet <ne day a distant woman came %ame to the house to open the door A man came but could not stay 7ith what he felt and what he saw )he ni"ht came but not another day )he house watched. )he house waited. 7atched the people chan"e 7aited for the people to "o. 7atched their dust chan"e. 7aited as different winds did blow )he house +new. )hen came )he Protector. )he Protector was all alone. All alone in a bi" silent place.

All alone after everythin". All alone in this silent, sad house. )he Protector did not understand. 7here were all the dreams nowB )he Protector continued to try. )he Protector continued to help. )he storms came, the winds blew, and the dust flew. Somehow all was safe as somehow )he Protector always +new ?ust what was best to do. )he Protector was alone = alone amon" stran"ers. )he Protector became very busy = people here, people there. @ouses here, houses there. 1usinesses, companies, families and more. A country here, a country there = busy. So much to do, so many people, places, thin"s for another, so much to do. So very, very much. So much for one )he Protector. )he house stayed silent. )he Protector did not. )he Protector stayed lonely, but not silent. 7ithout lan"ua"e )he Protector spo+e. 7ithout a real voice, )he Protector was heard. 7ithout +nowled"e, without reli"ion, without understandin", without e,perience = )he Protector continued and be"an to help. (aybe )he Protector had been "iven a purpose. (aybe )he Protector now had a mission. )he purpose was beyond any reli"ion, was not for a maybe future, some e,istence beyond = no. )he Protector had a reason, and meanin" for now, an understandin". So it is throu"hout natureA the offsprin" are protected. )here e,ists a bond of infancy. )he Protector was a mother Protector. )he rebirth was be"un. )he infant had to be trained,

developed, and "uarded. Protection was necessary for the vulnerable. 8ach day was a victory. 8ach day had a purpose. )he wor+ was slow. )he reward was celebration. A celebration of survival for another day. )he pains of the house were for"otten as the new pains were challen"ed. Day by day there has stayed silentA waited and watched. )he ni"ht was a different story. *n the ni"ht the house +new. )he walls remembered and reminded. )he house, thou"h balanced by day, succeeded at ni"ht. )he Protector be"an to feel the problem. 8ach ni"ht the house "rew more an"ry, more frustrated. *n the ni"ht the madness ruled. 7hen )he Protector rested the ni"htmares thrived, and oh, how they thrived in the lu,ury of this location = this house. )he Protector could feel the frustration for all involved. )he house has had a history and was frustrated. )he Protector had her mission, and was frustrated. )o rest was a mista+e. )o close one;s eyes was fearA was fri"htenin". )o eventually collapsed with e,haustion was then awa+en in the middle of the new @8##C >a"in", roarin" with madness. )his place where the very screams screamedC So surrounded by total mischievous evil and nonsense = whyB 7hat was this and whyB 7ould it never endB 7hat, when, where was the way outB 7ould there ever be a way outB 7hat would be left = what would remainB 7hat was any of it really aboutB Durin" the day the house was stillA time was still. All was 6uietA the house was 6uiet. )he ni"hts followed the days = only this was sure. As the house en?oyed its time, this time moved on. Slowly the days became lon"er and the house could only wait.

At last )he Protector could rela, a little. )he infant had chan"ed. )he Protector had chan"ed. )he dreams had chan"ed. All meanin" had chan"ed. )he house had not lost, not yet. )he Protector had to leave for a while. )he Protector needed to survive. So much une,pected had happened. So much was still to be doneA so much still to sort out. So much, so far away still waitin". Still so much uncertainty. )he Protector had not been home for so lon". @ad not escaped the ni"hts, had not escaped the house. )he Protector had not had real peace, not a family, not a home, for so lon" now. $amily had become a memory. So it was that time was now needed for the first char"e and some time for )he Protector. )ime for some restA some renewal. Alone, the child havin" lived and died and lived a"ain still did not understand. 7hy new lifeB 7hy this lifeB 7hy any lifeB 7hy no peaceB *n this lifeA life was differentA was empty yet protectedA was calmer, was 6uieter, was different. <ne ?ust had to accept, ?ust rela,. After all the years past, accept the holidayA the holiday of life. )he "ood weather, the climate, the countrysideA the "ood, clean pollutionDfree conditions. )he food, the wine, a place to rela, and last en?oy. /othin" is bein" specifically as+ed of you, nothin" demanded. After all )he Protector has been throu"h the least is to be content and accept. #ive, lau"h, drin+ and be merry for life. )he price is small and insi"nificant. )he old life had not been correct. *t was "ood there had been a chan"e. #ife still can be 6uietA can be with silence for others. 7ithout realisin" )he Protector has achieved the ultimate protection = wonderful. )here was still the mother;s womb of total subconscious psyche protection, wrapped so ti"ht. Still the inner sanctuary of isolation with thou"hts of the asylum lau"hs with the lo"ic of

the madman;s smile. )here was still one;s own reli"ion of nihilistic lo"ic coupled with a total vacuum of faith. Still there was one;s own balance. )he system of balance a"ainst future contorted ni"htmares of the self. $inally, there was still the ni"ht. Arran"e peace in the ni"ht to occupy others, and then all would be ri"ht. An e,istence of balance. )hey can have their dayA one owes it to them, it is owed to )he Protector and a small price to pay for such freedomA the freedom of the ni"ht. )here to e,press, to dream = to dream the screams = to +now = to +now the ri"ht ?ourney, the best road and to await the ultimate opportunity. EesC )here in the dar+est suffocation of the depth of the ni"ht, when surrounded by total dar+nessA then "o beyond the senses; acclimatisation of the void = beyond any visual sensation of the lac+ of si"htA where blac+ness is wrapped so smotherin" ti"ht it becomes tan"ible. )hen, and only then, can one settle outside the torture of e,istence. )hen for a fra"ment of the fleetin" moment can one ima"ine a transitionary nanosecond of acceptability = only then.... )here was, in this new e,istence meanin", maybe purpose, maybe..... After some thin"s that are not remembered..... ...... eventually )he Protector returned to the house. After some thin"s that were not remembered...... eventually )he Protector returned to escape the house. )he house was left. )he earth 6uietly shoo+, the dust "ently settled anew. 7ee+s later a lorry came throu"h the dust, collected some dust and left. )he house was left. #eft to blow hard the dust that was left. 7ith distance in time many thin"s settled.

A new life had be"un. 7ith distance and time the ni"htmares and many thin"s were left behind by this new life. (ay their "ods bless their souls. (a+e their lives be full. (ay their families "o with them. )he dust had settled on so many thin"s @istory was, as ever, always in the ma+in". <nly a few peoples debts to settle, nothin" more. )hen at last control. )hen at last lo"ic. At last balance. )heir world by day = escape by ni"ht. )he unconscious day = the private ni"ht = balance. /o fear of "odsA no need of heaven. %ontented you carry your own philosophical brea+down with you as you choose your own road for a midni"ht stroll.... alon" the road...... the road to.... )he ni"hts "ot better, so very much better. Soon it would be all ni"ht and FcomethG the ni"ht, FcomethG the man. 7ith the increased help of the wind by day, the help of the ni"ht was increased. Still there was life, yes still there was )he Protector. (aybe one owed it to a friendA and well yes one has debts to settle. After all it is only for the dayA no need to thin+ in the ni"ht. )he ni"hts can ta+e care of themselves. 1alance, lo"ic, peace. >ela,, have respect as all the safe, all was sure. At last there was an acceptable meanin" to this life. )hen one ni"ht, one early mornin"A before the FrealG ni"ht, came a voice. A friend of a friend had a voice. Some voice of some beliefA some other meanin". Anyway it was a small voice. Another wee+ alone with nocturnal friends, all was "ood. Alive but liveable. #ife li+e this could be lived. )he dust could

be left to settle. )he dust was settlin". 7hen the afternoons came, when some effects of the ni"ht had calmed downA when the headaches were aliveA then thin"s were in their place. <ne day the friend of a friend reappeared in speech. Some words appeared, some 6uestions or somethin". 7ords, ideas were heardA thou"hts and answers were offered. Some answers were "iven. *t would be alri"ht. Sometimes, between headaches, thin"s are difficult. At the time it was difficult. Eou +now that momentB )hat time you are preparin" and are prepared for the real thin"H F)@8 /*9@)G, and you "et interrupted. 7ell it;s difficult. *t;s difficult when you are only a litre or so away from bein" ready for F)@8 /*9@)G and you "et interrupted, then it;s not easy to pay full attention. #i+e that moment when you ?ust pull the cor+ from the bottle and your nostrils are ea"er in anticipation of the sniff of the cor+ = that moment, the deli"ht of that moment = the vinta"e, the cor+edDup, bottledDup perfume of release from captivity of all those seasons and summers stored. All ready to e,plode on your senses as you Fta+e the cor+G = ?ust then frantically rin"sC <ut of respect for the "ame, for this friend;s friend the voice was heard. 7ell one can listen on into the ni"ht..... )here was more wine to drin+, there was a ni"ht come and anyway...... So maybe there are different ideas, different "ods, and new fate chan"es possible, a new life, many thin"s, many maybes. <+ay, what if = and then whatB )hen what about the screamsB )he real Fni"htG = where are your "ods thenB >eality does e,ist. )he bottle does become empty. )he previous ni"ht had been "ood = toni"ht would be "ood = would be "one. 7ithin the privacy of madness the dust was

not disturbed. )he dust was settled, the dust was "ood. All was safe. )he lo"ic was secure. Doors had been closed. *t is correct that new doors should not be open. Debts would be paid, the road had been trod. )he dust was ever deeper, safer more secure. 7hat could be betterB 7ith the comfort of the wine, the "ods had been true. )he doors had been closed, the "ods were content. )he dust was on the road, all was in its place. All was on the ri"ht road. 7hen the headaches brou"ht bac+ the F/87 9<DG ideas = the, Fyou don;t need to drin+ and continuously ideasG... 7ellB As for those, Fwe should do :better; ideas so we can "et to heavenG = wellB 7hat happens with this system then when you "et thereB 7here do you climb to ne,tB *f life is to teach us about F"oodG climbin" when we;ve learntA why stopB 7here ne,t above heavenB Save the climb, finished now, than+ you = it;s 6uic+erC Please, please let there be lo"ic, balance. *n the actual universe that we +now there is dust, atoms etc. Psycholo"ically, there are other thin"s. Prior to bein" aware, we only +now 4later5 that we had the safety of our mother;s womb. So not only did we "et the dust that we were from our parents but we also were "iven the protection, the comfort or other psycholo"ical needs from others too. &ltimately our dust is passed on into new thin"s and is form for"ot. So it is with your psyche. So these thin"s are and should be. All to be for"otten, to "o, to be lost. $acts, lo"ic, balance. )o return under the protection of dust, to the dust, havin" come from the dust to be mi,ed in with the dust, at peace = and peace with.... somethin", anythin", somewhere, anywhere, any

time. 7ith certainty bac+ to the comfort of P&>P<S8 <$ )@8 D&S)G.

= F)@8

1alance, lo"ic, peace, contentment all is correct with this thin+in". 7here, this dust that is now you was before it was you = no one +nows. 7here or what this dust, these atoms, this is physically you +now = where FitG "oes, no one +nows. Iust ima"ine if we could +now what the atoms that ma+e up this arm are "oin" to combine to Fma+eG in the futureCC So, as we cannot be attached to what dust we were 4before it was us5 or what it will be in the future 4after we are "one5 so it should be with the psyche. 7e are not merely a product of what our father ever thou"ht combined with the thou"hts our mother had, of course not. Althou"h for many their lo"ic is to carry false shadows with them throu"h their lives. )hey live and use their psyche with their own history of their parents, their family. >epeat similar lives to their familyA copy brothers andJor sistersA hold on to e,periences and stay wrapped in their own method of protection based on what is +nown and observed with family. 7ith this they need to find their own balance to pay their own debts for life in their own way. $or some this has no lo"ic. All thisA this Flo"icG if so obvious and definite, so blatant it can be overloo+ed. As we reco"nise the obvious, we need to re"ister basics, clear the mind, meditate or in some other way discover a Fblan+ sheet of paperG. %ompletely detach the psyche from the e,periences and thou"hts of your parents, mentors, family or others. 8mpty out the debris, silent your inner, private, influenced voice. Preparation is everythin". As your mind is cleared and as your new thou"hts are cleansed of old insanities the FspaceG inside learns to wait in silence. $resh, clean ideas, e,pressions of life, of lo"ic, of purpose and

meanin" of life appear in the inner self unbiased, uncluttered = disinfected by truth = as fertile as a vacant vacuum. As you try to prepare your subconscious for the un+nown = as you at least empty out what you +now is only the debris, the F?un+G of history of family, of a FchildhoodG, try to be ready, maybe when the time is ri"ht, maybe the psyche will be aware, will be ready. Acceptin" that chan"e is definite, is continually is one step. Dust is dust, chan"e will chan"e. At least these we do +now. So with the help of the prepared psyche that helps influence the ima"ination and other thou"hts a balance was found. 1oth symbolically and actually the wine was drun+, the atoms reDpositioned. )he dust was moved. )he wind blew, dust was rearran"ed. (ore thin"s recycled. Another wind blew, more dust rearran"ed. (ore thin"s made from dust, more reD incarnation. /ew shapes appeared. So it was after new life blood had been ta+en, a form was found by the road. )here it was covered in dust. A bloc+, or a bo, or..... as the ne,t breath "ently blew away more dust there it was = a small collection of rubbish. 7ith it was a bo,, covered also in dust, and behind the bo,, a ca"e = a little ca"e. *nside the ca"e, also covered in the dust of the road, was a little bird. )he dusty bird within the dusty ca"e, all made of dust. )here coated by the dust of the road, there was a bo, of rubbish dumped. *t was there by the side of the rubbish bo, the little birdca"e was found. *nside the ca"e, dirty and dusty was small bird. A little ca"e with a little bird abandoned by life. Away from the road, inside with care, the ca"e was carefully cleaned. )he little bird was washed and bathed and fed. )he little bird became content on its perch.

*t could have discarded this deli"htful little old ca"e = this sweet tiny birdB 7hy have the "ods or fate allowed the bird, still alive, to be found and rescued from what would otherwise have been certain deathB (any 6uestions, but with lovin" care and hours of attention the bird may well survive and live to be content. )he ca"e was +ept in a safe place with sufficient comfort. <n the doorway of the ca"e was a tiny loc+ complete with +ey. $or now the ca"e doors closed and all was secure. $or now bein" +ept in its ca"e was necessary for the bird. )he outside world was +ept outside, the loc+ed ca"e +ept bad thin"s out. )he birds was +ept safe, inside. )he 'eeper provided protection. )he /ew 7orld, as far as the bird +new, was acceptable, safe and secure, with parent control. (ore, the +eeper was very "ood, even "ivin" the bird some belief that it was actually wanted, was actually Fen?oyedG, and even needed sometimes. )he 'eeper seemed pleased to watch the recovery of the bird as if it brou"ht a breath of fresh air, colourful, cheerful fresh air. )he 'eeper even felt some pride and satisfaction as the rescued bird was "iven new life. )he little bird could not thin+ much. %ould not remember its own parents, not even its mother;s e"". After the e,perience of bein" abandoned and bein" moved to these new surroundin"s the bird, at this time, had little memory. )he bird settled and instinctively realised the "oodwill in +indness it had received. 1y way of FbalanceG the bird now feelin" so much happier and safer "ave its new owner "reat ?oy by its sin"in" and "entle, but lively, swin"in" on the perch. )he bird was only too happy to repay in some small way for what )he 'eeper had done.

)he 'eeper was very happy with the find and only too pleased to feed and clean the beautiful little bird. *t was indeed a "reat pleasure for )he 'eeper to hear the wonderful son"s and it was a deli"ht to visit the little ca"e. All was content. )he 'eeper was happy, the bird was happy. )hen one day thin"s felt different for that little birdA felt stran"e. As it happened, it was this day that )he 'eeper had to "o away for a few days and althou"h )he 'eeper had made some arran"ementsA the bird and the ca"e stayed in place. Somehow the bird +new, somethin" was different. *t wasn;t anythin" to do with the dust movin" or physical thin"s, not li+e before = no, some other awareness, some other sense, and intan"ible, une,plainable that this little bird had. Iust as the bird had felt somethin" instinctively towards )he 'eeper and what had been done to help when the ca"e and everythin" had been abandoned, the bird felt somethin" now. Almost psycholo"ical, somethin" of the psyche, some Ffeelin"GB 9radually, in the silence of the ca"e feelin" settled a little. )he day passed. )he 'eeper had made sure there was sufficient water and food for the bird and the ca"e had been thorou"hly cleaned before leavin". Physically the bird was content, but when the ni"ht "rew closer it noticed that the +ey, which was normally left in the loc+, was not in place. )he ca"e door was closed but there, ?ust inside the ca"e, on the floor laid the tiny +ey. Doubts raced throu"h the tiny brain. *nsecurity, fear, dan"er, vulnerability, what if someone was to unloc+ and open the door... or if...B )he fear of uncertainty, confusion, doubt ra"ed. )he bird was worried and could not for"et about the +ey or the conse6uences. )hen more by mista+e than accident, as the bird had been nervously

Fpec+in"G away at the +eyA pic+in" it upA pushin" around etc. = the bird actually swallowed the +ey = 9&#PC <hCC 7ellC ...... an"uish......

#ater thin+in" more positively, the bird decided that maybe it was a "ood thin" the +ey was out of the way as now no one could simply pic+ out the +ey and open up the ca"e. /o, while the +ey was inside, out of the way, as it were, then it could rela,. )here was sufficient food and drin+A there was no problem. Sometime later, still not totally settled, the bird had another tiny thou"ht. <h noC )his ca"e was security, was the difference between life and death. )he +ey it had swallowed was li+e the +ey to life for the bird and wait = what if...B 7hat if the ca"e door, on its tiny little catch, neatly closed as normal, what if the door was not actually loc+edC /ow the +ey had been swallowed, somewhere deep inside, and maybe the ca"e door was not +noc+ed after allB <nce a"ain vulnerability was feared. <h, too many thou"hts, too many 6uestions about the +ey to life, so many problems about livin". Althou"h the bird only had a tiny little brain and a very small ima"ination, oh how it wished it had none. <h to be a happy villa"e idiot, of the bird world, free of understandin", free of thin+in", free of feelin" too many thin"s = ?ust livin" and then = dead = "one = "one with the dust. SimpleC 7ith so much worry about the +ey to life = with so much for a tiny brain = the little bird brain fell asleep. 8scape, reality, collapse, sleep and so to dream.

As the bird "ently opened its eyes it felt li+e it was years before at childhood. )o see the pure white clouds floatin" with hardly any movement in the pure blue s+y. )hose white wondrous clouds with bri"ht warm sunli"ht. )he youn" bird feelin" the warm "low on its win"s. )he freshness in the year. All so definite, so certain, so free of pollution = so unaware of what pollution even was. $ree of the city, of traffic, of people, of masses, of other birds = ?ust free. )he freshness of the year, the vibrant, ea"er, e,cited ener"y of nature, of natural life. %hirpin" merrily for no other reason than because you can. #ivin" simply because you are alive. @avin" none of the doubts, understandin" none of the 6uestions = needin" none of the answers. Iust bein". )oo active, because you can be. )oo busy, too many thou"hts of the wonder of pure innocent fascination of thin"s that are there = simply because they are there. $lyin" because you can. >idin" the winds = "lidin" alon"Ddriftin" as one FblowG "uides you this way and suddenly = another that way = free. All this time as you "o with the wind, oh what you seeC *ncredible advanta"e of pictures = of si"hts. So many so full you almost ta+e them for "ranted. )hen when the attitude of youth is felt in you = then divin" down, flyin" so far so rapidly = feelin" Fthat windG on the feathers = sensin" chan"in" airDpressure a"ainst your face as the bea+ cuts throu"h the s+y. #*$8 = A>><9A/%8 = %8>)A*/)E

Protection was so sure, safety was so certain, purpose, meanin" all so obvious you never "ave them a thou"ht. /o need for thin+in" = too busy livin", doin", en?oyin", bein", simply because you can, simply because you are.

So to sleep, livin" the day for e,istenceA dreamin" the sleep of the memory. #*K*/9 18%A&S8 E<& A>8 A#*K8 )he time passed, thin"s chan"ed. 8,periences due to survival had been "ained. )he balance was achieved by chance. (any memories were reDlived of what may have been memories = dreams of dreams = of times past.... Dreams of memory "one.... for what seemed li+e years upon years the bird had performed outside of someone;s "arden wall, hopin" for some attention, some return. Son" after son", sun" to attract a bird table with crumbs of survival. 7hen the consideration and the food offered was re"ular, the bird continued to sin" and perform. 8ven on 6uiet days when there was no food, the bird felt that whether there was anythin" or not it should still perform. 7hen the bird had been starvin" and desperate, it had been so "rateful for the +indness and help received that it felt ri"ht, felt correct inside to still "ive than+s. So it was that this bird tried to "ive pleasure and ?oy to others as much and as fre6uently as it could = re"ardless of any specific return. Somethin" in the psyche, somethin" of a feelin", felt ri"ht, felt correct. 7ith a full, or a half empty, or indeed a stru""lin" stomach, the son"s the bird performed were the best it could achieve, because that was what it felt was ri"ht. (ore time passed, more thin"s chan"ed. /ew e,periences and after many stories halfDfor"otten by fearH the bird was captured in the ca"e. #ife was different. Destiny had decided upon a new direction, beyond the bird;s control.

Slowly life chan"ed and was 6uieter. Slowly the dust "athered. (any thin"s were for"otten. )he life that had been was finished, now thirst, hun"er and confinement. $or a little bird;s brain the ni"htmares that came were fri"htenin". *ma"es of scary +eepers, leavin" the bird to die. 8,haustion and fear did not lead the bird to sleep with dreams, no = no dreams for now only outra"eous ni"htmaresC 7ith time awareness returned. 1adly in?ured, and e,hausted, left to die the bird had been rescued and protected. After much time in carin", lovin" effort the wellDmeanin" of the /ew 'eeper had succeeded. )he bird had survived, it had been reborn. Althou"h ca"ed for its own protection and care, the bird could accept its own inner life of memories and meditation. )he bird accepted the +indness and consideration of the /ew 'eeper, had for"otten all else, +new no different and was "rateful. /ever would )he 'eeper realise how "reat and meanin"ful this time was for the bird. %lose communication was of course impossible between )he 'eeper and the simple son"bird, but the senses were "ood = were content. Previously, totally occupied by means of practical survival and then of desires of the psyche to achieve and succeed, its time had been ta+en. /ow even with the debt of "ratitude the bird owed )he 'eeper and even bein" so full of than+s and appreciation the bird still had its own simple thou"hts. )hou"hts of a tiny bird world. )iny thou"hts, simple ones, ones the bird could not e,plain, could not communicate, could not fully understand, but they were there. )here in the bird psyche, the feelin", the bird;s inner voice spo+e to the bird of emotion, of meanin". (i,ed with these tiny thou"hts were muddled memories of childhood, of days of innocence. Days when everythin" was simpler, when you lived because you were alive. 7hen livin" was for life.

7ithin the protection of the ca"e and ironically because of the care of )he 'eeper the bird had the time and the circumstance to stop and consider. <ld memories were reDlived, and after much reflection many old ideas were discarded. As old ideas were cleared out for ever, many "ates were loc+ed, many doors closed. )he mind was becomin" clear for the futureA even for death and beyond. (ore dreams.....B (ore thou"hts....B (ore..... 7hys......B >ested the bird awo+e. 9radually the bird reco"nises solitude and 6uiet. Luic+ly the continued absence of )he 'eeper was confirmed. Previous concerns returned about +eys and loc+s and thin"s. $or the moment, whatever the actual security situation, with or without the +ey of life = the ca"e was home, was sufficient. *n the calm, comfort of its present 6uiet surroundin"s all was beautiful, was so peaceful and the bird could thin+ clearly. )here was lo"ic and meanin". *n this location by the courtyard with windows openin" out on to the "ardens, meadows and fieldsA with the woods in the trees overloo+ed by hills and the snowDcapped mountains and all so clean and clear, so free of pollution, so free of othersA here the little bird had such unbelievable memories of years "one by, of childhood, of life. So, +ey or no +ey, life was "ood. *n normal times all was "ood the bird could rela,. )he 'eeper would soon return and all would be calm. @ere as the bird settles down in comfort it could daydream and this location "ave the nearest reminders that it could ima"ine of its youn" upbrin"in" and former F"lory daysG = sweet thou"hts. @ere the bird could rest, secure with minimum effort, within )he 'eeper;s protectionH ca"e and all, food and drin+ as needed, cleanliness and care automatic. 7ith a little thou"ht all

worries and doubts could be resolved. A more clear acceptance and understandin" of life, death, reli"ion and beyond had been resolved. All was at peace. @ere the bird could rela, beyond its wildest dreams, could live the rest of its life in peace and at ease. @ere was reality = not maybes, was for actual reality = not for dreams alone. )hou"hts of the future were lon" and comfortable. All the efforts of the past were bein" repaid. At last life was "ood. 7hatever was wanted could be had, whatever desired be affordedA the bird;s needs are small and its dreams are brief. *ndeed life 4at lon" last5 is "ood. (any others would see the bird, ca"e and all, and envy the tran6uillity and the apparent lu,ury. So let it be. *f beyond life there was more... 7ell....B *f not, and when life was finished, then to die here in this ca"e, that was fair too. )he bird could accept either, the bird saw the lo"ic and was prepared, was ready, and was at peace with its reli"ion. &ltimately the bird had been fortunate with its life. 8ven more, the "ods had allowed the bird to realise how fortunate its life was. 8ventually when the little bird;s dust has to be recycled = then what will be, will be = but for now this son"bird;s place is in its ca"e. <ne midDafternoon, the day came when )he 'eeper return.

)he absence had been meanin"ful for )he 'eeper. /ow all was well with the return, and after some cleanin" and chan"in" the little bird in its ca"e on the courtyard was fine. )he little son"bird still san", still swun" on its swin", and still "ave that e,tra vitality and natural presence to the serenity of the "arden by the house. >outine was reDestablished. )he 'eeper was bac+ in control with everythin" ta+en care of. Safe within the inner world of the birdca"e all was at peace. )he return of )he 'eeper meant comfort, the comfort of control. )hus many people follow various lives and lifeDstyles in the bi" world of societyA often simply followin" one day with anotherA often simply survivin" and achievin" basically only what happens by chanceA often fri"htened of chan"e and so content with what they +now as, Ftheir livesG. As one day, FsafelyG, follows another. 1ein" ca"ed under control of a civilisation with )he 'eeper as the "oDbetween, the interpreter for the outside world, comfort was maintained. A simple little sin"in" "ave meanin", purpose, even usefulness = "ave the ?ustification for life that so many sou"ht in their lives. Iust as many in the outside world want to live content, out of the headlines, leavin" others to lead or ma+e the bi" decision = so the world of the birdca"e was with contentment. 8ven more perfect was that )he 'eeper was not even aware. )he 'eeper did not actually realise that the control )he 'eeper en?oyed also provides such warmth of cover and safety for the little bird. )he daily, re"ular, automatic service of a small awareness "ave to the bird an invisibility, an inner space, an inner peace. )he bird felt established with the purpose of wallpaper. $elt as the tran6uil deli"ht of nature and in a "arden of peace. /o ma?or decisions to be made, no decisive actions necessary = no worries li+e in the past = noC

*n return, what was a little sin"in"B So the bird accepted the same bi0arre way that it provided, achieved, the purpose by sin"in" and appearin" lively, active on its win", and in return lived at peace as a creature on 9od;s earth. All was safe. 7herever the +ey to life was = all was at peace. 7hatever the worries and fears of the past, now there were none. 7hether the +ey to life should be used to loc+ oneself in safely, and with silence and isolation, +eep others out, or to positively to loc+ all others out as you live safely out of their reach in your own world, safe within is only a 6uestion of opinion, of perspective. (aybe there are selected moments in life when a moment e,ists offerin" an opportunity of action. )hese rare moments when if only you could operate, could turn, the +ey to life you could decide for a loc+ed door or an open "ate. *f only one +new in advanced when these moments were to occur = and what decision to ma+e = and to be ready to ta+e the ri"ht decisionC $or the son"bird it had wondered before about why it had been ta+en to a certain placeB 7hy it had been brou"ht to where it wasB 7hy it had been foundB 7hy there had been any understandin"B *ndeed why it had met with those it had and why they had helped in the way they didB 1ut for a son"bird so many 6uestions. )oo much for a tiny brain. <f course one observation from the bi" wide world could be that the bird is merely a little prisoner, dependent and reliant. *f it has what it wants and all that it needs, maybe this son"bird no lon"er sees the bars. (aybe the freedom, away from Fwhat ifsG or Fyes butsG, and other maybes, is acceptable. )his son"bird with its freedom of voice and activity within its safe world has no need of the fears of the "iant "ala,y when its

memory of childhood surrounds is li+e impossibility for reality. An impossibility since no one can revisit the past but when constantly surroundin" its ca"e unfolds the landscape and lifestyles of years previous, its youn" years felt with ?oy. So for the son"bird surroundin" this clean, well fed ca"e is the perfect dream. )he happy dream of a ?ourney bac+ in time, to relive the wonders of nature, whilst holdin" the +ey to life. #ife was "ood here. 1e it a reality or a dream interpretation = from where the bird sat = this life was "oodC <ne pleasant sunny day the tiny little son"birdH within its world of the birdca"e saw a human visitor in the "arden. After a small burst of li"ht birdson", the bird loo+ed a"ain as the human wal+ed away. Ama0ed with the wonder of the human. Such si0e of a creature. Safe within the world of the ca"e, the bird wondered. )hen its thou"hts wandered to the ade6uate si0e of its own, to its enormous, world within the ca"e with all its space. )he bird realised the hollow space within its ca"e and the freedom of movement en?oyed. (aybe the human has a brain and a similar world. Iust as the bird can move its brain around and visit different parts of the ca"e, so maybe the human brain can move around different parts of its own body. (aybe the body was hollow with space li+e the ca"e space. )he bird with a brain could move around and live its life always safe within the ca"e and so maybe the human brain did the same and could well have around inside the space of the hu"e body in which it lived. <h, thin+in" can be so comple,. )he bird decided to ma+e the lon" ?ourney over to the other side of the ca"e where the food was and have a small meal and a rest. )hen in comfort it slept.

An abandoned mass A ba" of trash Dust with dust Ash with ash A rusty ca"e 7ith dust was made $or thin"s to die %ry soul cry <h for....... )he Protector, )he 'eeper, )he >ector, )he >eaper. >.*.P. 002