Running head: WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM1

When Two Worlds Collide: Leading with Biculturalism Bopharuth Cheng Seattle University SDAD 579 J.DIAZ WINTER 2014

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM Introduction

Thirty years ago I started my path on this journey. Sometimes I found myself sprinting to the end and other times I found myself dragging my feet along this path called life. Being able to whisk through good times and muddle through bad times have been the joys of finding truth to my identity. Now, as I enter the next stage of my journey, my path is leading me to live a life that serves those who come after me. I could not have come to this sense of purpose without the understanding of my most salient identity that shapes my values and gives me strength to persist towards my goals. Growing up, I developed a bicultural identity where two worlds collided when my parents, Khmer refugee immigrants from Cambodia, were sponsored to live in the United States and I became part Khmer and part American. As a Khmer American, I learned to navigate both cultures through hardships and through successes. Being Khmer American shapes who I am and the values that have been instilled upon me manifests throughout all parts of my life. As an emerging leader in higher education, my identity manifests in how I lead, when I choose to lead and why I lead. Khmer American: What it means to Me My most salient identity is my most aspiring identity, being Khmer American means many things to me. It is an identity that sounds like a combination of two identities and in some aspects, it is; but for me, it is just one. It is a constructed identity formed at birth when I entered the world as an ethnic Khmer Chinese born in America. There are several things that make this constructed identity possible; I will do my best to explain what it means to me. First, like other socially constructed identities, historical context, language and culture plays an important role in the creation of this new identity. I identify as Khmer American because ethnically I am Khmer and my parents instilled Khmer values, culture and customs in me as a child growing up in the

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM United States. Although my nationality and partial cultural upbringings is American, I am ethnically and culturally Khmer too; in reality I am both at the same time. I could not escape growing up with a bicultural identity; Khmer American is who I am. Second, while I mention my Chinese heritage as a born identity, I do not identify with being Chinese. To understand this, we have to look back at the historical context of ethnic Chinese in Cambodia. There was a large influx of Chinese migration into Southeast Asia generations before me; many Chinese assimilated into Khmer culture. For example, my

grandfather on my paternal side is full Chinese; he journeyed to Cambodia where he married my grandmother who is Khmer Chinese. Both of them held onto very little of their Chinese culture and practiced Khmer customs and traditions which are passed down to me through my fathers upbringings. However, it would be unfair of me to totally disregard this piece of my identity; while it is not an apparent influence in my life, it does surface into many areas of Cambodian lifestylewhich can be further dissected in another paper. There are many implications of the power structure between Khmer and ethnic Chinese people living in Cambodia as well as the intermingling of cultures. On the other hand, my mother is full Khmer and embodies the traditional imagery of a Khmer woman. My parents have passed down pieces of their identities and I have constructed my own. I use this example to demonstrate the complexity behind identity and how it changes through time, in different contexts and that biculturalism is not anomaly only in the United States. Third, I could not escape the bicultural identity; it was an identity that allowed me to adapt and preserve two cultures. At home, I was Khmer; at school, I was American. How could I be two things at the same time? As confounding as it sounds, it was normal to my everyday life. At home, I was obedient, tended to household duties (many times these were not typical for an

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American girl at that age), encouraged to speak Khmer, ate different food mainly rice paired with a Khmer dish and was exposed to Buddhist rituals which is ingrained in being Khmer. At school, I was an exemplar student ready to raise my hand to be called on; eager to fit in with my white counterparts who were the epitome of American culture. I practiced good character building for a collective purpose, while my friends were allowed to be free and explore their individual identities. If I could sum up what it means to be Khmer American, I would say: its the byproduct of a Khmer refugee immigrants offspring that is born in the United States whose upbringings collide in two different worlds. Growing up Khmer in American society was challenging, as I would imagine most 1.5 and second generations might experience. Like the Japanese Nisei (literally translates to second generation) in the United States when they faced racial discrimination during a historical era that imprisoned anyone with Japanese descent living in the United States because they were considered to be a threat to the American government. Or like the Jewish communities that immigrated to the United States and assimilated into American culture in fear of being different. However, unlike Cambodians, many of these groups immigrated to the United States by choice because they were seeking a better life for their families. It was natural and accepted by their first generation predecessors to become en-cultured with mainstream American society. Whereas Cambodians were stripped from their livelihoods, endured four years of living in concentration camps under the Khmer Rouge between 1975 1979, pushed out of their country to the borders of Thailand and some traveled to the Philippines and Indonesia for refuge, and finally found solace in a new land like the United States (some refugee immigrants were sent to France, Australia and other countries). They had nothing to hold onto but their cultures and ways of life; how could they give that up?

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM Character building. Over half of my life, I grew up with Khmer proverbs, sayings and small nuggets of wisdom that my parents used to chastise us for things that did not align with being good. I call this character building because of the way my parents used these sayings to repeatedly remind us how we should act. These sayings were also reinforced by a story or example of why its important to practice good behavior. Good behavior translates to good karma; I grew up in a household that practiced Buddhism and ban bon (earning merit) was

important to our daily lives. Ban bon is a term that my parents used loosely when we did random acts of kindness like; donating money to the Salvation Army during Christmas, helping a stranded person on the side of the road get gas, always asking whether if anyone needs help or serving the monks food in the temple. Khmer proverbs and sayings help build good character for learning how to live in community and live in harmony with the land (generally known as the context/environment you live in). I find these next sayings to be important values that manifest in my daily interactions. I have written the Khmer sayings phonetically in English and included a translation; I will also include a short description of each sayings meaning to provide more context to its purpose. The next sections will go deeper into these values and I will identify how these values manifest in my leadership. Twer ey gom ou gey merl ngear (Do things so that they dont look down on you; another interpretation, Dont let them judge you): Learning the importance of perception, status, saving face and pride are important in Khmer culture because of the deeply rooted ideal of gaining a positive image. The Khmer social strata is ingrained in building a good name for your family and social class. This saying implies the value of resiliency in the face of adversity. Ou chet merl gey merl aingh (Know how to see others and see yourself): Learning the importance of ones place in a social setting; understanding your role(s) in different

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM situations and knowing how to navigate your role. A larger implication of this saying is adapting to situations where ones social class may not normally fit in and learning from others on how to behave in those situations. Gom ou chjang gey (Dont lose to them; another interpretation, Dont let them/others

win): Like twer ey gom ou gey merl ngear, this goes beyond building positive perceptions but this saying teaches one to persist, strive for excellence and build positive attitudes of oneself. Neh nah twer la-aw ban la-aw; neh nah twer bap ban bap (Those who do good receive good, those who do sin receives sin; another interpretation, Karma): Learning good from bad, right from wrong and the importance of helping, assisting and serving. Doing good highlights the moral character building of a Khmer person which is underpinned by the Buddhist practices.

Being Informed by My Values: Khmer American Character Building Living in Khmer America, was a different world for my parents; raising three children was an even larger dissonance for them, and us. I grew up building an identity that worked in both worlds, I am accepted as Khmer and I am accepted as American. The values that I learned while growing up in a Khmer household were shaped by my experiences in American culture. I had to learn what my parents meant when they referred to my white counterparts as them and learn why its important for us to persevere in the midst of struggle. Our identity as gon Khmer (child of Khmer) meant that we are from the great civilization of the Angkorian period that once ruled Southeast Asia major. This heir to a lineage of survivors meant that we will survive in America even after the heinous crimes of the Khmer Rouge if my parents survived that, then I should be fearless to adversity. When faced with endeavors, this sense of pride is a source of nourishment for my parents and myself; however, it has also ingrained a sense of superiority toward others. My Khmer cultural identity brings great value to understanding of who I am in

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM American context but it also illuminates deeply ingrained biases that may surface in my behaviors if not checked. Resiliency: Twer ey gom ou gey merl ngear To me, twer ey gom ou gey merl ngear means it is okay to be different, but dont let that define who I am. I define who I am through building good character, showing compassion and having an open conscience. As a child I grew up with less, looked different from the kids at school and had overly protective parents who didnt allow me to play with other kids my friends thought that was weird. Even though I was different, I learned to build a positive image

of myself because I didnt allow them to judge me based on these values. Despite my differences I didnt let it affect me; I was the goody two-shoes in school and perceived as the nice girl; I had in my head that even though I am different, you are no better than me, I am a person that should be treated with respect. This is important to me because it made me stronger; I learned how to strategize and develop an unbreakable persona. I developed a resiliency to differences, to people who doubt me and to barriers that created setbacks; my resiliency not only stemmed from the values that were instilled upon me but also by the culture that surrounded me. I had to become resilient to survive in Khmer America. I did not find my resilient nature until developing a better understanding of my failures and setbacks that I face as a Khmer woman navigating American social structures. The importance of being resilient in the face of adversity was never more important to me than coping with racism; overcoming stereotypes and failing with dignity. I look back to the not-sodistant past and realize how far I have come in the last ten years; I overcame losses in my life and losses in my professional career. I learned how to bounce back with a stronger sense of self and each occasion added another layer of resiliency to my skin. I built these layers throughout

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my childhood and have been equipped to handle hardships that I face as a young adult like losing my father at the age of 18, peoples doubt of my undergraduate academic achievement because of my ethnicity and family background and the transition out of a workplace that gravely damaged my self confidence. All of these situations -and a few more- have given me strength. I learned to stand tall during these situations and not allow peoples judgment define me. While being resilient has made me a stronger person; it also has implications around my worldview and particular biases that I hold. Twer ey gom ou gey merl ngear recognizes value in me as an individual and to be aware of how positive and negative perceptions are formed. Although its direct translation is do things so that they dont look down on you, it also means dont let them judge you, which uncovers a starch dichotomy between them/they and you/me as well as this idea of higher and lower class or social strata. The assumptions that I grew up with is that I am different from others and that doesnt make me less of a person. This notion brings into light two things: there is a social structure that places us somewhere on a spectrum and that we are being judged. Dont let them judge you; already suggests that someone is judging me; whether if it is because my family is on welfare or that I lived in a trailer home on the outskirts of town. Assumptions about people who are on welfare or live in non-traditional homes are deeply ingrained in what American society value or in my case, dont value. Adaptability & Code Switching: Ou chet merl gey merl aingh Learning how to adapt and switch between cultures has become second nature to me. To me, ou chet merl gey merl aingh means understanding how to be flexible and when to adapt cultural expectations in different settings. Although the Khmer saying literally translates to know how to see others and see yourself; I find it defining two things one, how am I being perceived and two, how would I like others to perceive me. As a child, I understood this as the

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literally translation as imitating other peoples behavior to fit in. Now, as an adult, I have made a slightly different interpretation of it by understanding my role in the current context. Being able to pay attention to my surroundings has shaped my understanding of how I am being perceived and how I might challenge or reinforce those perceptions. Through my professional experiences, I have learned to recognize the dissonance between what I think I am portraying and how I am actually perceived. This was difficult for me to comprehend because I assumed others were like me, that they had the best interest for everyone that they understood or try to understand peoples struggles and hardships. There is an assumption that everyone is learning from each other, some people dont have to learn from others because they are already a part of the dominant group, they already know how to act, how to behave, how to fit-in and what to say in social settings. For me, I had to learn this skill which has given me immense opportunities in upward mobility. Persistence & Perseverance: Gom ou chjang gey I developed a can-do attitude through persistence and perseverance. The Khmer saying gom ou chjang gey became a symbol for excellence and I subconsciously developed a competitive attitude. To me, it means to advocate for myself, to keep going and never give up. While similar to resiliency, I found persistency to be slightly different that it is the will to go on and the understanding to makes changes for the collective good. During a time when my partner and I went through financial hardships; I learned the power of sacrifices and the power of perseverance knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel. My partner was laid off from work and we depended on two incomes to pay for mortgage and supporting my mom and younger brother who live with us; during the same time I was challenged with staying at a workplace that I dreaded and it slowly manifested in my work. I experienced burn-out; disinterest and

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM depression; I lost something from that experience but I also gained something that I could not

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have received without going through it. I learned that it takes more than a can-do attitude in life. While having a can-do attitude contributed to my successes; to me, this idea of persistence had equated to never failing. It created this raw and almost eccentric idea that anything is possible. Like the American myth of meritocracy; I believed in working hard and going the extra mile will get me ahead in life. While this was true for most part of my early twenties, then I learned about the glass ceiling and hitting walls after walls of disappointment. I faced acts of racism that appeared in cases of micro-aggressions from colleagues and other areas in the workplace. It was deathly assumption to hold onto when it no longer worked. I value that working hard will get me ahead in life; I now recognize flaws in this belief. Not only does it places value judgments on those who do not work hard or do not have to work as hard as I do; it also reinforces the myth that is embedded in American structural systems that people are rewarded for their ability and talent. Belief in Good: Neh nah twer la-aw ban la-aw; neh nah twer bap ban bap The Khmer saying neh nah twer la-aw ban la-aw; neh nah twer bap ban bap was used to define right from wrong. While this saying is deeply rooted in the Buddhist teachings it also deeply ingrained in Khmer culture. Cambodia, like Thailand takes great pride in their country and history where a blurring of national identity rests on three pillars that make their society great: nation, king and religion (Buddhism). My household practiced Buddhism but as a child I never understood the clear distinctions between what it meant to be Khmer versus what it means to be Buddhist, to me they were almost one in the same thing. This belief in the good of people help me build a strong foundation on having a positive attitude and outlook on life. It helped me cope during bad times and have hope that things will get better. I believed that if I do good

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deeds, I will receive good deeds; because the premise is that I will surround myself around good people. I assumed all of this was true, now, I realized that the things that I learned as a child is only half true and the other half is life. I was blind to see the truth when I was a child, even though I was the nice girl I remember a time when I was in Sunday class1, I had gotten into line in front of a blonde-curly-haired girl and she turned to me, using her index finger to point directly at my face, nearly taking out my eye and said, You belong at the back of the line. I was 7 years old, I did not know how to respond or what she even meant, it was one of the first acts of racism that I experienced. Even though I was nice to her, tried hard to fit in with the girls in Sunday class, I was still not accepted. I realize that I expected others to treat me how I treat them and that others should have the same assumptions that I did, that living virtuously will model the way for others. The hard truth is no, that is not how it works America.

Managing My Assumptions as an Emerging Leader As an emerging leader in a higher educational environment, I have to regularly check my underlying assumptions presented within my values because I will be working with various people across the college spectrum. It is important to understand and recognize my biases so that I actively reflect on my actions as well as be a transformational leader. To me, a transformational leader is one who enables others to be their best selves so that they can emerge as leaders themselves. This requires leadership traits like support, understanding, patience, recognition, role modeling and authenticity. The values that I have developed through my Khmer American

At the age of 8, I was baptized in the Latter Day Saints (LDS) Mormon Church. My parents welcomed all faithbased missionaries and people who spread the words of the gospel into our home. They allowed me to go to church so that I could be like other kids. I stopped going a few years after getting baptized. While I was going to church, I continued to practice Buddhism at home with my parents and went to the Wat (Buddhist temple).

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM identity demonstrates several of these traits which bears good leadership; however, there are many parts that define good leadership like being able to work collaboratively and in

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teambuilding environments or navigating colleagues whose values are different from your own. There are a couple of main assumptions that have surfaced in highlighting my values; these will likely manifest in my leadership roles and I will have to learn how to balance my values with those I work with. One, I recognize that I operate from the assumptions that everyone has the ability to push through and two, that decisions should be made with good intentions. My values of persistence and can-do-attitude materialize in my work ethics where I tend to push through on projects and assignments. I demonstrate hard work and believe in getting things done; however, this also demonstrates my competitiveness and eager to strive for excellence. In doing so, I limit myself to perceive that I get things done faster on my own yet, I dont get the value of working with a team where an exchange of ideas can enhance my learning. I assume that others will push through and pull their weight when working in a collaborative environment; however, I am using my personal standards of what it means to work hard. I have to realize that effort and working hard is relative to ones ability; I should not be making the assumption that someone is lagging because they are lazy or not hard workers. To understand underlying issues around performance or expectations, I should develop authentic relationships with my colleagues and staff so that I am equipped to make holistic judgment on what is really affecting their work. I should set aside the assumption and expectation of hard work and recognize that as humans, we are complex creatures with many identities, some visible and some not.

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM Also, as a leader, I should reflect on my personal behaviors that could be limiting their abilities to be at their best in the work place, I should ask myself, is it my demeanor, do I treat

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everyone fairly, am I keeping an open mind and what am I portraying to staff as acceptable and unacceptable behavior? These are starting points of how I will address my behaviors in checking my biases toward hard workers and laziness. The other main assumption that surfaces in my values is doing good and acting on what is morally right. However, what is morally right to me may not be morally right to another person. I was taught that being morally right meant doing things for the greater good and standing for what I believe in. I am shaped by my upbringings to have an open mind and critically think of the implications of my actions. To someone else, morally right might mean they are guided by their religion or their faith to a particular belief that may not be congruent with my beliefs. As an emerging leader in student affairs, I might be challenged with a situation where campus leaders are sitting around a table discussing whether or not to bring a controversial speaker onto campus to talk about abortion rights. The people at the table may have biases around this issue and what may seem to be a lecture with good intentions for the development of students; may not support the intentions of the institutions. While this raise questions in the areas of personal ethics and institutional values; it is important to understand how to navigate and express my values in a constructive and unbiased way. I think the best way to interact in complicated values-related issues is to exclude value-based modifier words like still, only, just etc I can also practice good listening skills to fully comprehend my colleagues main points and find common values that we can build on. Demonstrating that I am willing to compromise my values will open the door for the other person to lean in and make compromises too. As a

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leader, I should develop behaviors that are unbiased but in a way that communicates my opinions in a collaborative setting. Identity and Leadership Effectiveness Being bicultural has many implications in my life, the values I have developed through my identity shapes me as an emerging leader. Being Khmer American makes me an effective leader because through persistence and resiliency, I advocate for what I believe in and through the belief of doing good, I extend that advocacy to others. I am flexible and a positive thinker which are important traits for a leader in times of crises, this demonstrates my ability to make decisions based on the current situation and the self-determination to succeed. I treat my optimism like a self-prescribed dosage of energy to keep me on track and know that positive outcomes will occur if I persist with good intentions. This notion that good always prevails follows me and may haunt me as a leader because I will also have to understand failure is a sign of good leadership. Good leaders take failure as a challenge and success always seem to follow. Being an effective leader will mean having a strong sense of values that will help me navigate and understand my bicultural identity in the higher education environment. My effectiveness of a leader can be limited by the perceptions of my Khmer American identity. In some instances, I am the first Khmer person my colleagues have met and in other instances I am mistaken for being another type of Asian. Then there are instances where my colleagues need clarification on how I identify as American as well as Khmer. Biculturalism is a complex identity, having a one-up up identity and a one-down identity seems to be perplexing in many ways but for some reason, through experience, I have always had to explain why I identify as one them, American, and always get this fascinating look like wow that is so exotic when I share stories about my Khmer culture. I feel like Im being viewed as polar

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opposites from being American. I will have to challenge these perceptions on whether if I belong at the table with colleagues and showcase my abilities to be an effective leader, like them. Yet for me, I will have to make larger sacrifices for small gains. To others, my values might be highlighted as a negative trait, like persistence could be viewed as a nagging Asian woman trying push her way through the chains. This implies several stereotypes, one that all Asians are a part of a monolithic group and my sub-group is being dismissed in this context and two, that Asians are the model minority and expected to be successful. As an emerging leader from a sub-Asian ethnic group, I will have to work hard to dispel these myths and assert my leadership to stomp out stereotypes. What Next? The Road to Leadership What does the road to leadership look like for a Khmer American in higher education like myself? I ask this question and identified three goals that are important as I emerge as a leader with this identity. First, practice reflection on how my identity impacts my work and influences my decisions. I think its important to critically digest and regurgitate the underlying assumptions of my identities, and it will help me filter out values that may no longer be seen as positive parts of my identity. It is a way for me to reconstruct my identity and rebuild values that are important in that time of my life. For example, while I value hard work, I am now at a time where my priorities are shifting and focusing on self-care and building a family. I may not make it to every scheduled meeting and may even have to call in sick because I need a mental day off knowing that values and new identity roles are a part of our natural life will help me support those I lead; because I will be better equipped to understand what they might be going through. Life happens for them too.

WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE: LEADING WITH BICULTURALISM Second, as a leader I will work towards effectively communicating and finding ways to

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constructively express my values in a non-judgmental way. I realize how biases can be conveyed through language and through non-verbal facial expressions; both can be disparaging to someones values that may not align with mine. I will manage my assumptions through thoughtful behaviors and build authentic relationships with my colleagues. My third goal is use my identity to uplift others like me into a role of leadership through support and encouragement. This is important to me because I have experienced various spectrums of leadership styles and want to have a balance of styles for the people that I lead. I also find it important to have role models that represent my identity and understanding of biculturalism. I hope to be aware of the needs of my staff and adjust my leadership to support them as a group and recognize their individual needs as well.