My Friend Is A Square: A Discussion on Square Dancings Potential for Friendship and Gratification

Hanna Marie Aven 29 April 2012

Abstract The Sets in Order American Square Dance Societys official publication, which was written in the late 1970s, advertises the square dance as the friendliest form of couple recreation and sets forth rules that are intended not as restrictions, but rather road signs to attaining maximum gratification. In preparing to do my research for this paper, I was unsure if I wanted to focus on the friendliness or gratification of this activity, but as I observed and interviewed a specific square dancing club I found that all aspects of square dancing reveal that both of these features are epitomized in the relations that square dancing fosters. In this paper I discuss a typical night of square dancing, as well as the infrastructure of the dance community, and then show one particular way the relational aspect of this activity is actualized. The practice of this dance has affected the lives of those who I studied: In square dancing, an individual has one partner that he or she returns to and hold close. At the same time the individual must always share the dance with the entire square. In order to complete a dance a person must trust his or her fellow dancers, but also must be especially mindful of the rules the caller decides upon. These very basic concepts of the dances structure are reflected in the club, which exudes an atmosphere of respect, trust, sharing, and a rule system that depends on the call of a very few members. This attitude is illuminated on a larger scale as well, as square dancing clubs have different moods, but the same rules. They rely on one another for their own existence, and they encourage interactions and community with other clubs, but always come back to their own.

Methodology: In October 2011, I began square dancing with Club A at a location near to my campus. My boyfriend and I have been attending lessons with this club nearly every Tuesday night since we first attended their class. In early February, I conducted my first formal interview for this project. Since then have conducted one additional formal interview, as well as several informal interviews during Tuesday night lessons and club meetings. Most nights I did not take vigorous notes; instead I jotted down ideas throughout the night and wrote extensive notes when I returned home. All regular participants in Club As gatherings were aware that I was making a study of their meetings. For this project, I read square dancing literature from the local public library, as well as ethnographies from internet databases. The Sets In Order Square Dance Association1 handbook that I refer to throughout this paper was given to me by my informant Henry. Throughout this paper, I will refer to my informants and the square dancing club by aliases.

The First Time The Monday after I went to the local fair, I received a call from a woman named Bethany regarding the interest that I had expressed when speaking with her at Club As square dancing booth: Hi, this is Bethany from Club A. I just wanted to let you know that we will be having a lesson tomorrow night at 7. Wed love it if
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This handbook will be referred to as SIOSDA throughout this paper. 3

youd come out and bring your friends! The first lesson is free. Bethany informed me of the clubs location and told me that the club would be meeting on the second floor. I was excited about going and had nothing else to do on Tuesday night, so I began looking for friends to take with me. The majority of my friends had homework to do and one of them got my phone call too late to make the decision, but my friend Jordan decided to procrastinate on his homework and go with me. We arrived at Hall A, a retirement and assisted living complex that rents out one of its rooms to Club A. After signing in at the guest registrar and asking for directions to what we called the dance lessons, we arrived in an open room with a wood floor. To our right, there was a stage and to our left there were chairs set up in rows that faced the dance floor. Although I do not remember who was at lessons that night, or how exactly we were greeted, I remember being overwhelmed with a sense of welcome. The group was enthusiastic about introducing themselves and learning about where we came from. I remember several people saying that they were so glad we had come. When I first went out to the floor to dance, I was so nervous. Because my sisters used to be on dance teams and I am usually teased for my clumsiness, I assumed that I would greatly embarrass myself trying to learn the dance. As the caller began teaching the group new moves, I noticed that the moves were only new to Jordan and I; the other dancers seemed to know exactly what they were doing and anticipating what move they would have to make next.

Within an hour, I was capable of doing some sort of dance. I was laughing, and genuinely felt like I was part of the group. At one point, I looked at Jordan, saw him laughing too, and realized that this night would not be our only square dancing adventure. I was having too much fun to not come back. I recall speaking on the phone with my father the next day, telling him, Square dancing is what church should feel like. When I went I felt welcomed, loved and not judged at all, but I knew that those people would help me improve. Jordan and I went back to square dancing the next week, and loved it even more. We have been going regularly now for almost six months, and I have been able to observe and hear stories about how the magic of square dancing took hold of other peoples schedules, relationships and hearts. Club A works to recruit members by performing in public and handing out fliers, setting up informational booths at fairs, advertising in the newspaper, on the internet, and sometimes on the radio, several dancers I spoke with cited word of mouth as their reason for first experimenting with square dance. Some dancers begin out of curiosity. After being invited by his friend to a square dance lesson, Bob, a dancer of five years, went along to see what it was like. At the start of the dance Bob wondered, Whatd I get myself into? But after returning a second week for lessons, Bob decided that he thought it was fun, and he began to consistently attend lessons. Other dancers start square dancing simply in hopes of quieting a nagging fan of the dance. According to Jess, who is married to Caller A (the man who regularly teaches Club As square dancing lessons and calls out the moves for each dance), the

main reason that she and her husband began dancing was to stop her mother from driving (them) crazy about going to square dance with her. Jess claims that she had to work hard to convince her husband, who never danced any more vigorously than a head bob, to go to a single square dancing lesson with her, rather than watch a televised basketball game. Ten minutes after the lesson began, Caller A told his wife, I absolutely love this, but I want to do what that guy up theres doing. Jess says that while she thought that the lesson was okay, her husband was giddy and absolutely loved it. Caller A and Jess began dancing five to six nights a week, and within six months, Caller A had attended class in Kansas City to learn how to make calls for square dances, purchased his own square dancing records, record player and speakers, and began professionally call for Club E in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Jesss mother quit square dancing two years ago at age twenty-four, but Jess and Caller A carry on the tradition. Just a few weeks ago, a group of people ventured into Hall A just to see what square dancing was like. Jess led the recruitment charge, working to show the group how much fun square dancing is. Caller A changed the dance schedule for the night and taught the new group how to dance. After 20 minutes of lessons, the group was dancing, laughing, flirting, twirling, and, most importantly, having fun.

A Transforming Tradition Todays square dancing is derived from a tradition of festive dance that once followed community events such as barn raisings, quilting bees and weddings on the

American frontier. Over the years, this social dance has evolved into an organized series of calls, the dances callers have become professional, and the live bands that once orchestrated the tune of a squares movement have been replaced with recordings of several different genres of music. Square dancing stands apart from other forms of folk dancing because it is the only one directed by a caller who is at liberty to choose and combine whatever moves he or she sees fit. This produces a dance that greatly varies from song to song and depends heavily on the knowledge, skill and imagination of the caller (Casey 3). Square dance literature from the late 1970s and early 1980s boasts of its upand-coming nature and describes it as the friendliest form of American couple recreation that not only creates friendships within a single city, but all over America and throughout the world (Sets In 1). Nostalgic, as well as modern, texts paint pictures of wooden floors decorated with the colorful spinning skirts of hundreds of women as their partners guide them around their square (Casey 3). The dance exists in the minds of young adults as an activity imposed on them by a family member or physical education class when they were younger; for myself, square dancing initially seemed like the mere remnant of something hokey that was meant for old people.

A Night Of Dance: More than Movement Upon entering the square dancing environment, one immediately recognizes the uniqueness of this hobby and is apt to draw many conclusions about its character and intent. However, assumptions soon dissolve as a night of square

dancing unravels, and each portion establishes an environment of camaraderie that is designed to provide the utmost comfort and enjoyment for the dancer. On a night when Club A is teaching lessons, the schedule begins when Caller A, or the visiting caller, begins playing a record. The club makes their way onto the floor and forms a square2. The caller reviews moves that he has previously taught the class, teaches new moves, leads the class in a patter3, and ends with a singing call. As he teaches, he ensures that dancers never feel left out or ashamed when they make mistakes. Caller A often teases the dancers about their mistakes, but does so in a way that draws attention to the personality of the individual rather than the fault of their movement. This causes the square to realize that the dance is less important than the person dancing. After this tip, or set of songs and dances, is concluded, all members of the square walk to the middle of their square and say, Thank you! in unison. Then every person thanks each other person individually. The men shake hands with one another, and the women side-hug both the men and the other women. According to the SIOSDA handbook this is done because the dancers are applauding the caller, the other dancers, and also themselves. It is important, SIOSDA says, to know that when you dance, it is you who did the job and it is you who experienced that wonderful sense of accomplishment that comes with being a square dancer (3). This custom occurs after every tip and creates a sense of unity among the dancers while simultaneously increasing each individuals confidence in his or her abilities.

2 3

A square is made up of 8 dancers; one couple stands on each side. A walkthrough of each dance move 8

Then the dancers disperse for break time. Sometimes Caller A dismisses the group with comments like, Lets make a run for the donuts, or Youve all worked hard, and Ive taught you a lot. These, and comments like them, show that dancing comes second to the comforts of snacks and rest. During the break time, people eat refreshments, use the restroom and talk with one another about many things, but not usually themselves. Jordan and I were often asked how school was going and what we were doing over our holiday weekends. In the last month and a half of participating with Club A, members began telling me more about their personal lives. Though I do believe that their knowing of the research I was conducting somewhat increased the likelihood of my informants telling me about their personal lives, I also believe that this break time served and continues to serve as a tool for increasing the my true companionship with the club. The dancing begins again when the caller wants it to. Even though he gauges the readiness of the dancers by the amount of conversation that is taking place, he never allows the break to go too long. I have never observed a break lasting more than ten minutes. The caller returns to the stage and turns the square dancing record back on. He waits silently for the dancers to move back to the floor, but if they do not respond (which is rare) he verbally beckons them to the floor with a smile and, Get on up here! There was, however, one time I observed the caller pick up the microphone and say, You know, were not in a hurry. Lets let the break go longer. The dancers, only one or two of which, had moved to the floor, laughed and continued their conversations.

When the dancers finish taking a break and return to their squares, they most often pick new positions in the square, but keep the same partner. The caller teaches the dancers more moves, leads them through multiple patters, and performs one singing call before another break occurs. Since I have been attending Club A, we have always done at least two tips of square dancing before a line and round dance cuer begins to teach. Line dancingand round dancing are the square dances companion dances. Club A always breaks up the pace and style of the night by teaching a different kind of dance: the line dance is done in a line, and the round dance is done with two partners dancing with each other throughout the song (much like ballroom dance). This partnership is made throughout the world of square dancing. When square dancers from multiple clubs join together for a weekend festival of dancing, line dances and round dances are offered in between the square dance tips. The square dance communitys invitation and encouragement of other types of dancing acts as another reflection of the welcoming atmosphere in the square dance community. At one point during a night of square dancing with Club A, usually just before or directly after the line and round dancing is done, Doug, the president of the club, starts a meeting. Sometimes, he stands on the stage and uses the microphone, but other times he simply stands in front of the group. When Doug moves to his position, he waits for the group to get quiet, and then he makes announcements. At this point of the night, the lesson has technically ended, and the class members are supposed to leave. I did not learn this for a very long time. Jordan and I were the main couple taking lessons during this school year, and more often than

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not we had to leave by the time the meeting started; because of this, we never knew what happened during or after it. Once I began my official research on Club A, Jordan and I started staying until the end of the night and found that the meeting time was pushed back this year so that Jordan and I would be able to dance more. I also learned that the dance done after the meeting was intended to be more advanced, so that more experienced dancers can enjoy dancing the moves that they are not able to do during lessons. In the last few months the club members have been insisting that Jordan and I stay after the meetings, and they have simplified the dances so that we can dance with them. There have been some nights when the dancing would not have been able to continue if we left; there would not have been enough people. There have also been nights, though, when advanced dancers have continued to sit out so that Jordan and I can dance the last dances of the evening. Once the one or two after-meeting dances take place, members of the club begin packing up the snacks, and the caller starts putting away his equipment. People stand around to talk with each other, until it one couple must leave. After an evening of dancing is completed, the dancers leave satisfied and not overworked. They have eaten, talked, danced, and maybe even made mistakes, but at the end of the night they are certain that they have spent time with people who care about them.

The Square that Encompasses All

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Before a square dance starts, the caller calls, Bow to your partner. Bow to your corner, and the dance begins. As the caller calls the moves, dancers are required to react accordingly, performing the moves with a smile. As the caller lists the moves that the dancers must make, a free flowing pattern of movement transpires. Individuals trade partners, spin around the square, walk up to the middle of the square to greet one another, and more. According to SIOSDA, one of the greatest attractions of square dancing is that it allows a person to obey a normal and inherent impulse to move to music. These moves are comfortable and natural (3). While it is essential for every member to do their part in remembering and properly performing each move, the simplicity of the dance makes way for the greatest and most important challenge of the activity: enjoying oneself and providing enjoyment for other dancers. SIOSDAs ground rules of square dancing include the commandments Be a courteous dancer, Be a thoughtful dancer, Be a friendly dancer, and Be a cooperative dancer. These rules serve to remind each dancer to think of other people first. Doing this involves taking actions such as properly bathing oneself before a dance, never passing by an empty square, and getting acquainted with other dancers in the square. In addition to the rules set for benefitting others, rules are also set to ensure enjoyment for self. The commands take it easy, youre never through learning, and enjoy yourself have fun! remind each dancer that the dance is not a competition or a showcase, but rather an experience. By focusing on these rules, dancers can work to love the dance while being able to consider the love that others have for the dance as well (3, 4).

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These commandments keep a square dance moving. Considerate dancers follow the calls of the caller and are contagiously fun to dance with. When dancers are able to follow the rules, the caller is able to play with the rules, creating his or her own combinations of the dance. As the caller make the dance more unique, the dancers are forced to rely more heavily on each other: Partners are broken up and individuals spin and are spun by people they might not know; dancers must trust that their partner or line will participate with them in difficult, less-familiar calls; and, should a mistake be made, each dancer must rely on the others to help them mend it. The laws of the dance, as well as the camaraderie suggested by them, are evident as the square spins and folds, but they are also evident outside of the square. In Susan Rasmussens ethnography on a Turag womens wedding dance, she discusses the cultural implications of dance:
By engaging (a dance), dancers literally embody, as well as symbolically evoke certain relationships and idea. Dance occasions are highly structured, complex, and labile to social situations. They include not solely dancers, but also audiences, and all may act as commentators both within and outside the performance context. Dance is no simple monologue; rather, dance, performer, and audience engage in a dialogue. 3

The dialogue of square dancing is spoken by all who engage in the dance it is one of friendship, reliability, and ultimately enjoyment. This notion can be recognized and supported by the important connections made between clubs. All over the world, square dancing associations have been constructed. The clubs that

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make up these associations work together to create a more enjoyable atmosphere for every person who wishes to square dance. The clubs are not only connected by their love for the dance, but they rely on each other for their own existence. The number of square dancers has greatly diminished4 in the past few decades; to boost numbers and member involvement, the clubs participate in a competition that spreads across the association. The object of this competition is to steal another clubs banner. The banner is a large felt or silk sign that displays the clubs name and hangs on the wall during class and lessons. To steal the banner, one club must bring an entire square to another clubs night of dancing and dance a specific number of tips. In order to get your banner back, a club has to bring an entire square to dance with the club that has stolen their banner. Participating in this competition ensures that members will stay active within the club, clubs will not die out, and that clubs will carry out their duty of friendliness to all square dancers. The extension of friendliness is hardly restricted to dancing with other clubs. It is also embodied in feeding other clubs, having cookouts and parties with fellow dancers, and supporting anyone and everyone who is interested in or participating in the dance. Throughout my time with Club A, I have been amazed at their generosity. I have been given over 25 square dancing dresses, skirts and shirts, and Jordan has been given a variety of shirts. We have been offered rides to out-of-town dances, and we have been invited to spend holidays with club members.

Club A had 97 members in the late 1970s. Since last October, I have never seen more than 25 people come to dance with the club.
4

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When my informant Bethanys father-in-law passed away, one of Club As members suggested taking up a love offering. The offering would fulfill the request made by Bethanys father-in-law that his mourners donate to the church. Additionally, donating money would also show love and support for Bethany and her husband Gary, who is also a square dancer. Every member of the club agreed that this offering was a good idea and gave money to this cause. The generosity of these dancers is astounding, but what reveals the friendliness of the square dancing community even more is the generosity of the non-dancers who are a part of this community. Within Club A, I have come to know a handful of individuals who do not dance but are present at every Tuesday night meeting. Furthermore, they also attend dances that are not held by the club. Some of these individuals used to dance and no longer do because of health complications; others regularly dance with different clubs and come to visit without their usual partner. These non-dancers act as the audience members that ethnographer Rasmussen referred to. They, just as intensely as any of the dancers or callers, reflect the ideals of the square dance. These individuals spend their time in the audience talking to one another, counting money for the club, and making sure there are enough drinks. They talk with each other and the dancers, and encourage members to attend the specials5 that are being held by other clubs. Instead of being ostracized, these people are essential and involved parts of the community. Although they do not physically dance, they enjoy their time with the community and possess the trust and
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Themed dances that have provide food than a usual night of dancing 15

friendship of the group in a manner that imitates every move that is done on the floor.

Romance in the Square: When my friend Jordan and I first ventured into the world of square dancing, I was fiercely determined that despite our flirtation, we would remain only friends. Less than a month after we began dance lessons, we were calling each other sweethearts. In fact, it was Club As assumption of my romantic relationship with Jordan that served as a catalyst to us making the decision to date each other. As I continued to spend time with Club A, I found that we were not the first couple to experience a change in our romantic relations. This specific type of relationship is one of the many manifestations of square dancings ability to gratify. According to my informant Jess, several romantic relationships begin in the square. When asked if she had seen many romances blossom on the dance floor, she laughed and replied, Oh, I cant tell you how many. Doug, the president of Club A, met his wife Grace at a square dance, and for a long time was too tongue-tied to even talk to her. Timmy, who square danced and round danced with his wife for over thirty years before she died of cancer, met his current girlfriend Kate at a square dance as well. Jess also told me about a couple who used to dance with Club A: The forty-seven and sixty-eight year old square dance partners ended up getting married and now dance with a different club on Saturday nights.

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Some romantic relationships within Club A are slightly dramatic and surprising. Although I have known throughout the entirety of my time with Club A that Henry and Gail were married, Henry just told me that Gail used to be married to Jeff, the clubs line dance cuer, who is a regular at Club As meetings. After Gail and Jeffs divorce, they continued to square dance together, but there was one night when Gail ended up in Henrys square. He asked if she was married, and when she replied no, he got her phone number and called her up for a date. Months after a failed first date, he asked her out again, and they ended up getting married. Even though romantic relationships have ended and begun between the three of them, I have never noticed any hostile blood between Jeff, Gail or Henry. Square dancing does not only affect blossoming love; according to Jess and a few of my other informants, dancing with people that you already love benefits the relationship in a number of ways. It has been over a decade since Jess and her husband began square dancing together, and she says that every time they go out to dance it feels like a date. She described the dating again feeling saying that there will be nights at dancing where they realize that they have not looked at each other all week, and then suddenly youre holding handshes swinging you around, and youre hanging onto him. My friend Bob, who is in his early seventies and has been square dancing for six years, said that soon after he started dating his girlfriend Nancy he told her that any girl in (his) life has to square dance. She started dancing with him last fall and the two of them have been dancing five nights a week. Bob says that dancing has made them grow closer to each other because it opens the door to doing other fun

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activities: it gives them a way to start looking at things they enjoy doing together. Plus, Bob thinks Nancy looks cute in her frilly skirt. Bob and Nancy recently got engaged and hope to be married soon. In their ethnography on dance in Jane Austens novels, Daniel A. Handler and Richard Handler discuss the romantic implications of a partner dance, and why it leads to marriage. They suggest that dancing imitates the courtship process of finding whether a partner is suitable or not: Like marriage, dancing and courtship involve cross-sex relations between near-status equals. However, the two authors are sure to point out that dance is unlike marriage, because it involves a malleable degree of particularity in which an individual may communicate their interest or lack of interest in a potential partner (Handler 324). Because dancing moves people from being strangers to being partners, it can serve as a process of selecting and rejecting possible partners; it is an activity that simultaneously allows a pair of dancers to playfully be a couple and, doubly playfully, to talk about it (Handler 325). This particularly special relationship is an important aspect of the square dance. Whether you have been married to your dance partner for many years, met your partner seconds before the dance began, or have been hoping to take that person on a date for the past eight square dance lessons, while that person is your partner you must commit to them. You must hold hands with that person, spin or be spun by that person and follow the often-called command, Go home, and return to your original position on the dance floor whenever it is asked of you.

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Throughout the dance, partners temporarily switch and do the same moves that they were required to do with their original partner with other members of the square. Eye contact is maintained between dancers if they are ever across from one another and smiles are used to increase intimacy between the non-partners. The flirtatiousness of each dancer is never restricted to one partner, but is rather shared without the square throughout the entirety of the dance. More advanced dancers in Club A often tried to teach Jordan and I gender-specialized vocalizations, such as long-drawn out feminine sighs and deep Hoohah!s, that could be added to specific dance moves; by performing these sounds, the square increases the dichotomy between the genders, and therefore increases the flirtation. Oftentimes, when going through a patter with Club A, Caller A would tell the couples, whether they be the original pair or not, to tell their partner things like, Hello, beautiful, or Lets go home; the dancers always either complied with the call or looked at each other and giggled. As a square dance winds down, the caller manipulates his calls in order to move the individuals back into their original pairs. When the partners return to one another, more experienced dancers take the opportunity to add flair to the dance with their partner: the man might spin the woman, the two might bump hips with each other, they might slap hands with one another, or they may do a combination of the three. The return home is essential to the square dance; for even though the dance is merely an imitation of courtship, shared love and flirtation, it is proven to produce real romance and an actual going home once the evening of dancing ends. The existence of these multiple romantic relationship, and even the cordiality

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between ex-spouses, supports SIOSDAs claim that square dancing is both friendly and gratifying.

Conclusion On my final night of square dance lessons, I was overwhelmed by a sense of sadness. Although I plan to return to dancing next spring, the idea of being separated from this loving community broke my heart. In my time with Club A, I have learned how to enjoy something new, and I have exercised a love for others. I have been treated as an equal but challenged to improve. I have given and I have been given to. I have also found romance. SIOSDA claims that square dancing is simply friendship set to music, and my findings suggest nothing less. The dance itself, the communitys intra-club relations, and the obvious embodiments and manifestations of friendliness all work toward fulfilling the square dancers goal: maximum gratification.

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Bibliography Casey, Betty. The Complete Book of Square Dancing (and Round Dancing). Denton: University of North Texas Press, 2000. Print. Handler, Richard and Daniel A. Segal. Serious Play: Creative Dnace and Dramatic Sensibility in Jane Austen, Ethnographer. Man. 24. 2: 322-339. JSTOR. Web. 29 April 2012. Rasmussen, Susan. Zaraf, A Tureg Womens Wedding Dance. Ethnology. 34. 1: 116. JSTOR. Web. 29 April 2012. Reed, Susan A. The Politics and Poetics of Dance. Annual Review of Anthropology. 27: 503-532. JSTOR. Web. 29 April 2012. Sets In Order Square Dance Association. Square Dancers Indoctrination Handbook. Los Angeles: Sets in Order, 1978. Print.

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