HOW TO RAISE GIFTED CHILDREN

The Power of a Parent Steve Jobs's adoptive dad taught him rudimentary electronics as a kid. It seems likely that he couldn't have imagined how that time would pay off. Perhaps we all have the potential to work miracles. Intelligence is 49 percent genetic and 51 percent stimulation, says Lawlis. Other experts agree that, if anything, environment (read: parental influence) has the edge. We assume smart kids are born smart and you can tell practically out of the womb, says Rhee. But I've seen it over and over again: You think a child will be a superstarand he isn't. Or a child who was written off achieves tremendous things. It is a close call, as Brenneman points out: It may be geneticor maybe he's been learning from you. Here's what you can do to help your child not only get better gr ades but have more enthusiasm for learning. Talk, talk, talk Ask your kid open-ended questions, like What would happen if we stopped for ice cream on the way to the beach? Such questions help a child reflect on what he knows and tell him his opinion matters. Don't worry if he's too young to understand. Likewise, don't be afraid to use relatively sophisticated words, notes Brenneman. He may not understand them, but he will figure it out if the words are used multiple times in context. John Shotter, a dad in Seaford, NY, makes it a top priority to talk to his son, Jack, 2, through daily activities. We talk tools! I show him how the Tsquare, drill, measuring tape, and hammer work. The results are pretty impressive, reports Jack's mom, Melissa. He honestly knows the name of every tool, as well as materials like Sheetrock, S packle, and drop cloth. He's also learning measuring, right and left from turning a screwdriver, and colors from paint. Read, read, read Research has repeatedly shown that access to books and one-on-one reading time is a predictor of school success. Reading stimulates the brain to make connections and builds background knowledge about the world, says Kim Davenport, chief program officer at Jumpstart, a national early-literacy organization. Reading is the foundation of all learning and will enable a child to absorb and apply content from all areas, including math and science. Modeling good reading habits may give him an edge. Seeing his parents reading for enjoyment will be contagious, says Davenport. Invite your child to cozy up on the couch with you to read. Keep books outin baskets, on shelves, and on coffee tables. And share what you're reading with your child, and ask him

to do the same. This will not only spark conversation but build his vocabulary and comprehension. Praise results Stick-to-itiveness is a quality that will endear your child to teachersand employers. We as a culture are so busy making kids feel good that we've lost sight of the time it takes for them to actually become good, says Rhee. My kids both play soccer, and both stink. But judging by the trophies and ribbons that line their room, you'd think I had the next Mia Hamms here, she notes. It's hard to accept failure if you're constantly told you're the best. When these kids go to school and get a problem wrong, they think It can't be me. Giving the right props is key, says Stephanie Rosales, a licensed educational psychologist in La Quinta, CA: Children who are praised for solving a problem tend to be more motivated in school than children who are told they're smart. The latter, ironically, often become frustrated when something doesn't come easily. So instead of giving broad praise (You're a star!), give kudos for accomplishments (I'm proud of how you found a different way to get the answer). And if you're going to hold up a gold standard, make sure it's truly gold. Say You're almost there. Keep trying. Celebrate curiosity Preschoolers very nearly glow with curiosity. But sometimes kids lose that as they get older, says Brenneman. Keep them excited by honing in on what interests them. If you ask questions about what they're playing with or talking about Yes, even if it's Pokmon, as it was with my son, says Brennemanyou've initiated a give-and-take that will pay off in a smarter kid. Your child will ask questions and look for more good stuff to share in return. Take time to turn your kid on to what you're excited about: Check out a museum or watch an interesting show together, and tell your child what you like about it and why. Rich Braun, a dad of two in East Islip, NY, used to work weekends. So to be able to share his interests with his son, Erik, when he was in elementary school, he occasionally pulled him out of school to visit a museum. His teachers always agreed, since the next day he told the class what he had learned. Erik felt like the expert for a day, which over the years boosted his confidence and eagerness to learn more, says Braun. Seize teachable moments You can help your child sharpen school skills as you go about your day. Say you drive by a windmill. Instead of saying Hey, a windmill! ask a question: What do you think they do? Encouraging observation of details will help your child do the same in class, says Rosales. And a trip to the store can be a chance to build vocabulary, math skills, and money smarts. Tell a 2-year-old the names of fruits as you bag them. Ask a 3-year-old to find four cans of peas. Have a 5-year-old write down which cereal she wants. Older kids can compare prices and sizes, and sort coupons. Sarah

Brown, a preschool teacher in Hollywood, MD, had her 2-year-old students paint with apples, bananas, and then skinny carrots. When her students advanced to the 4-year-old group, the teacher noticed that they had better prewriting skills than the new students. Whether your child is advanced or average, the best thing you can do is be involved. Taking her on this journey of self-discovery is what'll drive her personal genius. In one word: What do you most want your kid to be? Happy? Funny? Confident? Loved? We're betting Valedictorian didn't pop to mind. Your goal is to help your child be the best he or she can be, right? If you've read this far, you're both well on your way. Thanks, Steve: Lessons from the Apple icon to pass on to your kids. 1. Love what you do. Clearly, passion fueled his genius, and he had his parents to thank. Paul and Clara Jobs raised him in a supportive but hands-off environment. When kids are allowed to experiment, creativity flows. 2. Think different. He never accepted the status quo. Next time your kid has a project to do, help her brainstorm at least two other ways to attack it besides the first thing that pops to mind. 3. Get it right. Jobs's perfectionism fueled anticipation for his covetable products. Resist temptation to gush flattery to your child for every OK job; he'll learn stick-to-itiveness. Check out how these game-changing luminaries started out. Hey, you never know. Albert Einstein

Developed the theory of relativity; the father of modern physics He hated school.

Oprah Winfrey

Media magnate; philanthropist Her grandma taught her to read at age 3, which started her famous love of books.

Mark Zuckerberg

Internet entrepreneur; Facebook founder His dad taught him Atari BASIC programming in junior high.

Jay-Z

Rap mogul; marketer Unable to keep him from banging on the kitchen table, his mom got him a boom box.

Gloria Steinem

Journalist and social and political activist She attended school only sporadically until the age of 11.

Alexander Graham Bell

Scientist; innovator After he built a wheat de-husker out of brushes and paddles at age 12, his friend's father gave him a small workshop.

Toni Morrison

Pulitzer and Nobel Prize winner Her dad told her folktales of the black community, which inspired her writings.