Wall themselves off; An Unfeeling Part Without heart Torture Animals Self Hatred I cant even walk in the fucking room right Strong desire to prove themselves Desperate for love Highly anxious; Worry the most about how others will see them They want to get it just right: What exactly are the rules? Good at following rules Nazi prison guards Careers w/Structure Dont know how to make connections seem weird Relationships: Stressful I have this problem at work Easy paranoia; Suspicious Out to get me How bad do you think I am? Curse and Swear
A Wall band sensation, plug sensation Something feels inside Better from eating
1. Sensation of a blunt plug, cork 2. Everything is better fromeating (acute: morning sickness better from eating) 3. Sensation of a band around one part or another (head, wrists, an- kles, abdomen) 4. Acid stomach, reflux; better from eating 5. Might be really heightened SM fanaticizes, seek out porno (but not engaging in acts) 6. Poison ivy/oak (w/RT mod) itching better from eating 7. Other skin disorders, like RT 8. Arthritis; particularly severe; Rheumatoid Arthritis (often with much more sensation of stuckness a band around) youll see the slow to get moving rheum arthritis
(LD) Must have Polarity of feeling stuck cramped vs. doing what you have to do to move I feel cramped and tight and stuck And then I can move freely
Fears Apprehensive, of judgement and of others hurting them Test Anxiety; Of others approaching, of death, of being poisoned Of insanity, Of paralysis (r)
Anacardium
Same family as Rhus Tox, Anacardia family Anacardium orientale (Cancer miasm) Anacardaceae family
Mental State of great internal conflict Unbearable excruciating internal conflict Conflict in almost always extreme childhood emotional abuse Great sense of shame Extremely low self esteem Can be hard and cruel, cruelty to animals Strong desire to prove themselves Tendency to curse or swear Weakness of memory Inability to focus or concentrate Anxiety before tests, where mind just closes down
(LD) Mental and physical lack of power Inability to move No power Two opposing forces come together In comes immobility and they cannot move Sensation; as if a heavy load on the shoulders Like I am carrying everything here
(MM) Predominately mind symptoms They will not come to you with physical complaints Mistrust and suspicious From the beginning of life one disappointment after another They were open to establish a good relationshipbut it never worked out for them
Almost schizoid personalityon one hand one part and other hand the other part working in opposite Betrayed and disappointed by people who should have supported them They look for a relationshipmore like a baby to a mother As if sucking his thumb This ORAL componenta lot of cigarettes, a lot of food, alcohol, etc. Anything that can cool their excitement
The have HUGE anxiety How severe my problem is But they really cant say a lot more
A strong sense of solitude and lack of protection underneath Kent reports this as should go to jail (very judgmental)
The idea of the devil against any pleasure or anythign instinctual Food, sex, knowledge, has problems with this Anacardium orientale (Cancer miasm) Anacardaceae family
No relationships give them pleasure
The feel dramatically unprotected They cannot even image that there is a God or something above usthey might give you love So such an anguished sense of solitude (End MM)
Themes Stuck like a Plug Better from eating, something feels in- side
Generals Sensation of a blunt plug, cork Everything is better from eating (acute: morning sickness better from eating) Sensation of a band around one part or another (head, wrists, ankles, abdomen)
Stomach Acid stomach, reflux; better from eating
Urinary/Genital Might be really heightened SM fanaticizes, seek out porno (but not engaging in acts)
Skin Poison ivy/oak (w/RT mod) itching better from eating Other skin disorders, like RT Arthritis; particularly severe; Rheumatoid Arthritis (often with much more sensation of stuckness a band around)
Case Women 48 Very Severe rheumatic arthritis Lots of meds, surgery Left knee little cartilage left Lot of pain in sleep Had had fair amount of pscho therapy Crap of father Father very successful, would say youre the crap of my life He also sexually abused her, while saying you dont even deserve this As pain was getting worse, these thoughts coming back All this energy stuck in me Im stuck with this shit Trouble concentrating Was fairly successful, owned her own business w/partner Hot bath make my day I had to prove myself with both my parents Anacardium orientale (Cancer miasm) Anacardaceae family
If they werent dead Id still be trying to do it Lm1 I feel like Im on a slow upward rise Pain to a 7 from a 10 Lm2 Biggest change I realized I am powerful and I can help myself I have something I can offer myself Lm3 I had total sense of powerlessness Now my power is good Confessed she did torture animals as a kid
After a year, moved much more, gardening, knee better, kept improving like that
Cancer miasm theme In the tunnel what is trying to get her is the chaos At age 14 said to mother if you will leave him, I will take care of all the children for you I have to hide result of this chaos
Molar pregnancy The emptiness the cancer miasm Carc complete emptiness inside
RD A devil on one side and light on the other side, both trying to pull her apart The dark is this swirling chaos this tunnel, dark vs. light ANAC The evil can be inside or outside, of being pulled in the direction of evil And trying to compensate for that and resist that The darkness is the chaos
(VO) Inability to connect They dont know how to engage Need really strong rules of engagement army, religion
Anacardium orientale (Cancer miasm) Anacardaceae family
Anacardium Mental State Syphilitic and Sycotic Clear Ediology Clear, Relentless Early Childhood Abuse State of great internal conflict I care what people think, but at home I take it out on people close to me Unbearable excruciating internal conflict Intense Separation in themselves Great Duality Of two wills Devil on one shoulder, angel on other Bi-polar situation If things are goodokay If things are badtake it out on others If they hurt/kill; they may not even feel like it was them The voice in the head told me to do it The voice in the head is not me Can be hard and cruel Cruelty to animals Commit cruel acts to others (to get rid of this pain) Kids who torture animals In that moment, there is relief In threatening situations; Will be cold hearted Cant sleep (true of any state with two wills) Bad dreams, violent dreams Dreams: leaving their body and coming crashing back in Cant hold it together Physical pain at night Feel stiff and stuck Dreams in which I think it was me in the dream, but might have been someone else Dont know who they are Hear people calling her name (before falling asleep) Strong desire to prove them- selves Desperate for love Desire to be good (Seen as Good) Just like everyone else Can also be extremely compliant Look very nice If only I can prove that Im worthy, then mom will love me Can be quite loquacious Can be very high achievers The straight A student who when stressed, goes out and tortures frogs I have to prove it, over and over and over Curse and Swear Usually find this (Val asks as a confirmatory) May not do it in front of you, may only do it in their head Such pressure to prove oneself Can have lots of test anxiety In this state, they Just lock up They will do bad on the test Weakness of memory Inability to focus or concentrate Anxiety before tests, where mind just closes down Memory impairment (usually later in life) Cant remember, early dementia Pure Hatred is what comes at them This is clear, relentless, constant Usually Emotional/Verbal I dont know why we keep you in the family! You are a piece of shit! You dont deserve to live Differs occasional alcoholic, you hide, loving otherwise Differs sexual abuse, mixed feelings, conflicted about sex They turn this Pure Hatred on themselves Self Hatred Grows and grows Great sense of shame Extremely low self esteem I suck I cant even walk in the fucking room right (Guys may not talk about feeling bad about themselves) In order to survive, child has to Wall themselves off Separating themselves from others Inside, all this pure hatred A plant, from a very hard nut Person is completely separated from the world Shutting love out as well Not particularity creative Or no expression on any level Locked in their own world of hatred Without heart Having a place in themselves that is unfeeling They Turn Hard Great Stuckness Plug Pressure and numbness from the plug Someplace in them where dont feel Socially Awkward Dont know how to relate to people They dont know how to BE Dont know how to make connections People will think they are a little weird Careers w/Structure Gravitate to situations with rules; taught how to be Military schools; Military; Policemen (yet this continues the family situation they hate this) They might shine in this situation, or might revolt, have troubles They are the policemen who are cruel Nazi prison guards: follow rules, kind of likes it; comfortable with this cold place Good at following rules Rewarded Career-wise Dont necessarily want to be top person But high enough where they can kick other peoples butt Drawn to Fundamental Religions The ones who are constantly battling between heaven or hell Quite Suspicious Easy paranoia; hyper aware Their belief everybody is out to get them How bad do you think I am? What are you going to do to me? Offended very easily Delusion: surrounded by enemies Attracted to people like their parents People who might criticize them, etc. Creates a reason to prove themselves Relationships: Stressful (will usually always hear) (Relationships only possible if moderate) Battling within themselves Hard for them to feel loved Hard to keep from expressing this hatred I have this problem at work Youll hear this repeatedly Highly anxious Worry the most about how others will see them All the time What do I do? the right thing or the wrong thing? Am I doing it right? Big for OCD Because dont know how to relate to people They over focus on things They want to get it just right What exactly are the rules? (it really puts people off this person is weird) The kid wants to know just exactly where to start writing