07 Dialogue Transcripts

TheDialogue
Continues
The Dialogue
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Contents
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Introduction ........................................................................................................................................................................ 4
Chat 1 Turning Point ...................................................................................................................................................... 4
Chat 2 The Mantra ......................................................................................................................................................... 7
Chat 3 Lets Forget Literature ........................................................................................................................................ 8
Chat 4 Fire Burns ........................................................................................................................................................... 9
Chat 5 Doctors Dont Find ............................................................................................................................................ 10
Chat 6 The New Life .................................................................................................................................................... 10
Chat 7 Nothing Usual ................................................................................................................................................... 12
Chat 8 Karmic Law ....................................................................................................................................................... 12
Chat 9 Bija The Seed ................................................................................................................................................ 12
Chat 10 The Heat ......................................................................................................................................................... 13
Chat 11 Dagaz ............................................................................................................................................................. 13
Chat 12 Ita Res Accendent Lumina Rebus .................................................................................................................. 14
Chat 13 Initial Expression ............................................................................................................................................ 15
Chat 14 Solace ............................................................................................................................................................. 16
Chat 15 World around Changes .................................................................................................................................. 16
Chat 16 The Supreme Swan ........................................................................................................................................ 20
Chat 17 Shiva and Shakti ............................................................................................................................................. 21
Chat 18 One More Step ............................................................................................................................................... 22
Chat 19 Changing World Explained ............................................................................................................................. 23
Chat 20 Rama .............................................................................................................................................................. 24
Chat 21 Practice it and Find it ...................................................................................................................................... 24
Chat 22 1%................................................................................................................................................................... 24
Chat 23 The Question .................................................................................................................................................. 25
Chat 24 Silence ............................................................................................................................................................ 27
Chat 25 Cannot Contain the Nights ............................................................................................................................. 27
Chat 26 Understanding Intent ...................................................................................................................................... 28
Chat 27 Mystic Fire ...................................................................................................................................................... 29
Chat 28 Spiral .............................................................................................................................................................. 30
Chat 29 Dont Reason .................................................................................................................................................. 30
Chat 30 Favorite Diety ................................................................................................................................................. 30
Chat 31 Play of Rasas ................................................................................................................................................. 30
Chat 32 Gods Food ..................................................................................................................................................... 31
Chat 33 Aimless Wandering ......................................................................................................................................... 33
Chat 34 Disobedience .................................................................................................................................................. 33
Chat 35 Hard To Practice ............................................................................................................................................. 33
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Chat 36 What is there in it? .......................................................................................................................................... 34
Chat 37 Symptoms ....................................................................................................................................................... 34

Chat 38 Hanuman ........................................................................................................................................................ 35
Chat 39 Abnormal is Normal ........................................................................................................................................ 36
Chat 40 Silence is Deep ............................................................................................................................................... 36
Chat 41 First Taste of Silence ...................................................................................................................................... 36
Chat 42 Hide ................................................................................................................................................................ 37
Chat 43 Words are not Luxury ..................................................................................................................................... 38
Chat 44 The Change .................................................................................................................................................... 39
Chat 45 Complete Surrender ....................................................................................................................................... 40
Chat 46 Silence Falls ................................................................................................................................................... 40
Chat 47 Just Walk ........................................................................................................................................................ 41
Chat 48 Forgetting the Obvious ................................................................................................................................... 41
Chat 49 Blur Vision ...................................................................................................................................................... 42
Chat 50 The Ineffable ................................................................................................................................................... 42
Chat 51 The Acknowledgement ................................................................................................................................... 43
Chat 52 Bodily Reactions ............................................................................................................................................. 43

The Dialogue
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Introduction
Events accounted here are particularization of occurred experiences, mostly an expression of bewilderment,
confusion, anxiety or appreciation. But what is behind these words is the path of experiences. May this dialogue
surpass the curiosity of the details regarding Pavithra and bring about in you a higher awareness.

Chat 1 Turning Point

me: Hi, busy?
Mystic:
me: wow you smiled how are you, in India or Germany?
Mystic: whats on your mind?
me: you asked me a question!!!!!!!!!! this is miracle!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont know
whats on my mind you tell me did you meet some of our common friends
Mystic: not yet
me: had food?
Mystic: yes going on paneer roll + a lot of beer
me: my yoga teacher is looking for chandra namaskara mantras, can you help me...
Mystic: no I early answered that
me: yes I know just tried once more like a foolish kid! sorry if it bothered you....
Mystic: no
me: you did not answer many other questions I asked, you did not even say an explicit no....
Mystic:
me: is beer and paneer etc satwik to you?
Mystic: I am an Aghori too dear
me: yes got it, there is a twinkle on this smiley
You understand matter and energy equations very well and you know the mystic fire too, you are fire and fire is you
right
Mystic: there are five fires which one you are addressing dear?
me: I dont know, I just blabbered, why dont you tell me about the five please
Mystic: five fires have to be perceived not known
me: how does one perceive them....? wrong question? ok... I at least came to know fire is of five types...
Mystic: dear, its a level of awareness
me: ok... some more words, golden words, golden words for the day, please...I will keep pondering over it until we
next converse...
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Mystic: seven levels of awareness first 5 is already there with humans 6-7 becomes a Guru, 7 is a Rishi and the
remaining in 13 is totally incarnations and ethereal beings

me: ok... thats a lot for me to ponder.... thanks for feeding this hungry being
Mystic: what will you do after i cast this body away? You should start finding answer inwards
me: you cant cast your body away leaving behind foolish aspirant who sincerely waits for your words....
Mystic: I am not your master for that commitment for that matter I am no one
me: I know I am no disciple of yours, you are not my guru ....
Mystic: so
me: there is no karmic RNA between us
Mystic: there is nothing
me: etc, yes there is nothing and there is everything are very close right
me: isnt every woman Shakti just that she is not aware of it?
Mystic: yes, dear every woman is Shakti, but the level of awareness is just different
me: ok a foolish aspirant knows something but its all borrowed knowledge....
Mystic: dear, no one is foolish
me: if I look inward, will you still answer me from within?
Mystic: yes always you already have a lot of guidance - my silence is immaterial
me: no it means a lot to me, you are my first and eternal inspirer, I dont know anything about the karmic bonds and
the guru shishya paramparabut I gather immense energy from your words, I am sincere in my seeking, I know not
of lifetimes that I will take...
But from today on I will not chat with you until you want me to. I will look with in and let you guide me if I am worth it!
Mystic: just remember your Ista, I am just that dear, and you dont need me at all as a person
me: I am still not capable of it, but one day I will be but until then permit me to remember you as the person I know
Mystic: I am no one just a medium
me: I need the medium else how will I flow?
Mystic: just flow
me: when I remember Ishta, I remember fire and when I remember fire I remember you
Mystic: I am Agni in essential self you are true with this
me: so what do I do? Until you permit me to remember you, I will restrict my flow...
Mystic: just flow
me: because the flow occurs only when I remember you..
Mystic: remember and flow
me: you blessed me Pranam at your feet, I will not again chat with you, I dont need these English words now I
will sincerely look inward and just that
Mystic: your mystic fire answers all
Mantra vachana (details omitted)
me: was that an initiation? My body is trembling when I am typing this
Mystic: the fire in you is speaking you feel trembling and heat distribution on that please be patient
me: yes I am feeling heat...ok...
Mystic: that is my essential nature dear
me: now my body is coming back to normal but i still feel the heat...
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Mystic: as I said please be patient
me: my pores are opening up and i can feel them

me: ok as you say
Mystic: it is just the mystic fire u are feeling let it flow dear, Whats your visualization now in closed eyes?
me: now I am terribly hungry, there is too much heat..I am not able to type...
when I close my eyes I see an inverted triangle
Mystic: that is the symbol of the masculine Agni very nice now you know me in tatwa. Have some water
me: I drank some water, but I am panting... running short of breath...
Mystic: relax
me: and its raining outside...
Mystic: take long breaths
me: ok...
Mystic:
me: breath is back to normal but there is tingling sensation in the back of my neck...
Mystic: that is the Kundalini working on you not an awakening dear so you can relax
me: ok....I am dumbstruck, what happened to me...what was the inverted triangle
Should I meditate on it?
Mystic: its the masculine fire element or me; I think this is the first time?
me: yes Deva, its the first time...
Mystic: delighted
me: there are tears in my eyes
Mystic: dont be , dear
me: yes very delighted, feel very fortunate to have received this from you knowing you this way meeting you in this
manner
Mystic:
me: how much more special this is... than the meetings I ever thought...
Mystic:
me: now the tingling is gone...
Mystic:
me: the thirst hunger and heat is also gone but I am aware of what happened a few minutes ago...
Mystic:
me: the mystic fire will guide me - you will guide me. I am feeling immense joy Ecstatic...

From now on in the Dialogue, the mystic, the mysterious anonymous someone, will be addressed as Deva, this is
the first articulation, the first word that was uttered after the first experience

The Dialogue
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Chat 2 The Mantra

me: Deva....I fasted today for the first time...the fire within inspired me to do so..Am I missing out on something? Is it
like I am grasping the shadow and leaving the substance behind? Please break your silence Deva... there is too
much unrest in me, its unbearable. The experience I had has moved me from deep with in... and I have nothing else
in me other than that experience. Why did that experience come to me?
This is a transformation that has occurred in me, that is very strong I can still feel the heat in me Deva... my nights are
sleepless tooplease say something.... please, dont leave me in this state mercy Deva, kindness...
Deva: Dear the duties of a garpatya has to be performed, the person who has a family, so many other bindings. The
mystic fire kindled is just beginning it should be nurtured with a balanced life of discipline, orderliness, cleanliness,
honesty and yes with the Purusharthas. When such a balanced situation exists only then you can perceive the depths
of the experience you received. Liberation comes with time
me: Deva, you spoke to me...I am in tears again overwhelmed..What is discipline? Cleanliness? Honesty? And
purusharthas? I dont even know the borrowed knowledge properly how do I attain a balance? Deva guide me...
Deva: Discipline is doing things to the right proportion in day to day life; every activity.
Cleanliness is of thoughts words and actions, honesty to every role you play in your life
Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha are the purusharthas.
me: I will abide to all what you imparted to me right now Deva, I dont understand the purusharthas...
Deva: Dharma is the conduct of living, Artha is the fruit of the conduct of living, Kama is the desires to be fulfilled and
Moksha is the steps for liberation
me: Deva, I understood, now its time to implement
Deva: this helps you dear to have a balance on your current commitments and life and leaving job is against
Dharma, karma which you do should be continued always
me: but I have already left it....should I find another? Deva, have I done Adhrma without knowing...
Deva: yes. All animate and inanimate objects are subject to actions. The actions that happen without will or ignorance
is not Adharma dear A kid steps over an ant without the knowledge of death and life, still is innocent.
me: what should I do now that I have left the job...
Deva: find a new one and conduct it in the most perfect way you can
me: as you say Deva, what should be my spiritual practices?
Deva: Mantra Bestowed - Details Omitted
me: Deva, I am blessed you have accepted me at your feet. I am over whelming with devotion
Deva: you already have the fire in you dear,
me: Deva...guru.. Deva...
Deva: Dear, the first sukta of mandala one of Rigveda glorifies agni as the guru too
Its the guru for all but not specific to any
me: I know not the first suktam of rig veda, I know you Deva, you are the Agni I know. I am fortunate that I can see
Agni personified as my guru. Deva I can do nothing about this self that has surrendered to you
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me: can I continue my yoga classes...
Deva: all things you do let that goes on
Deva: the change is internal, nothing external

me: when is the time I should meditate?
Deva: dear anytime you feel like
me: now I must return quickly to people at home... but now I perceive them differently. I dont see myself chained to
them, but I have duties and jobs to be done that I cannot ignore...
Deva:
me: you did not once say today, I am not your guru! I always felt very harsh when you said it to me....
Deva: Agni is guru, friend, father, mother, brother, purohit and all to all
me: many words you are saying to me today which are deepening the meaning of a guru to me - Deva my soul calls
you "Deva". I am grateful to you for picking me up after so many years of wandering. Mother can identify her child in
crowd, father nourishes his child no matter what, friend is there at a need, tell me what in this you have not been to
me...
Deva am I not like your spiritual child...sometimes foolish, sometimes irritating, sometimes brilliant and ultimately like a
tiny plant that depends on the sun for nourishment...Deva, did you see my painting?
Deva: I do have seen your painting
me: I know its not great, it was spontaneous I often look at it in a day...
Deva:

The painting referred in the transcript

Chat 3 Lets Forget Literature

me: can I speak to you for a moment? I wanted to tell you that I am unable to eat food, I feel hungry but I am just able
to consume very little food...something like two or three spoons of rice... I am unable to eat more...my stomach really
feels full as if I had a feast...is this normal?
Deva: this is normal dear when kundalini is on, the body takes time to manage and adjust
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me: you mean kundalini is on?.... kundalini shakti, that is dormant in the mooladhara chakra with 3 and 1/2 folds is
on...
Deva: let us forget the literature dear

me: ok...will forget it...Deva, I am also able to do asanas that were once difficult for me or rather that seemed
imposible, very easily...
Deva:
me: my new job is going good, except I am finding difficulty in taking decisions...
What is buddhi? What should I keep in mind or do at the times of deciding between two or three things... is it what
appeals to me? Or is it that which will bring maximum benefit to people around.
Deva: that which brings maximum benefit to others
me: How does one overcome desires? After all, all desires dont come true or cannot be fulfilled... please tell me...
Deva: desires should dry away on its own look internal always desires vanish
Deva: when something has to happen, it will. There is no reason for desires or hopes

Chat 4 Fire Burns

me: Can I borrow a minute...I am having a very constipated feeling, though I have had not much of food... its
becoming a little difficult...
Deva: part of mooladhara reactions dear
me: what does that mean Deva....no food for the past three days...its constipating, heat boils on my body... is all this
expected? Should I just bare with it... will I be like this from now on...
Deva: the fire is making you unbearable
me: Is there something I should do?
Deva: consult a doctor and find out about your vital stats, an ayurvedic physician and if he says he cant justify, then
we speak
me: ok... but I dont know any ayurvedic doc... he cant justify what Deva? Should I just find any ayurvedic doctor and
ask for my vital stats?
Deva: yes you should, I want to know the diagnosis
me: as you say Deva, I will do it at the earliest and get back to you

The Dialogue
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Chat 5 Doctors Dont Find

This is an email which connects to the chat
Looked for ayurvedic doctors in my vicinity and found one. When I went to this person, he refused to give me my vital
statistics, he asked me to tell him who needs it and for what purpose. I did not know what to say and what not so I
cooked up to him telling I need it for yoga classes... he asked me to get a list of what are the vital statistics that is
required.

He said the analysis is a time consuming process and he will not take it up without sufficient reasoning. He said I can
come to him again in the afternoon, if I have the response.

Please let me know what should I do now? Should I look out for another doctor or what should I tell this doctor

Today morning I had another experience Deva, when I was meditating in the morning, I felt as if something blasted
within me and its force was traveling through my body. My whole body felt similar to the other day but this time the
experience was very much like an orgasm.... I do not know if this is the right comparison...

After this I had severe constipation and weird sensations in my anal muscles.. There was a tingling sensation in the
back of the neck that lasted for quite some time. I was very much out of energy for a long time.

From Deva:
Dear,
All is perfectly normal dear. There is nothing to worry on. The experience of kundalini in beginning stages is similar to
an orgasm. But it gets perfected to another level in long run. The meditation on the Agni will bestow you the mileage
for the same.
Please ask the ayurvedic doctor that you are feeling the overheating of body and is there any reasons for it in the vital
statistics.

Chat 6 The New Life

me: I met the ayurvedic doctor today. I am mailing you the diagnosis report
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Deva: dear, your kundalini is active. Apana changes its direction, once an ethereal being activates the kundalini,
your body is least prepared for its activation and a lot of heat is generated as the apana flow meets your prana at the
Agni chakra. You are hungry, but cant eat dear that is the diagnosis
me: ok...but I am still puzzled with the whole thing
Deva:
me: does it mean now the apana and prana have met in my body?
why did an ethereal being activate the kundalini? Is it like it was meant to happen?...

Deva: I am the ethereal being who did that
me: I know that Deva...
Deva: it has to happen so it happened, when I added the mantra vachana of my innate nature, the change was vested
upon nature to choose the best for you. Then you got clarity of my purusha state also; or the embodiment of me with
attributes. So I just was checking your vital health to make sure in this plane that you are having sound body as per
ayurveda all is well and as I understand. Now how is your daily situation? is there is any changes or reduction in
the feelings you have having?
me: yes, there is reduction in the feelings but still I am not able to eat well and the feeling of constipation comes and
goes...whenever I meditate I get a feeling of orgasm..
My attitudes have changed towards people around me not got upset angry or irritated from past 6 days. I feel
compassionate towards all at home; I am working hard at home. I dont get sleep in the nights, I wake up at 3 or 4
sometimes at even 2 and I feel like meditating after taking bath. This is what has been happening with me.
Deva: nice
me: In the past 4 months, I have had least sexual activities, I dont have those feelings in me, what should I do? I was
very surprised when my meditation resulted in a feeling or orgasm.... this one area where I am blank...
Deva: just live your new life
me: as you say.... will my eating and bodily things come back to normal I am already drawing attention at home from
people around...
Deva: normal is a word, I never would use any more when I address your situations
me: then I am blessed Deva I am feeling a gush of immense joy at this moment
I will meditate on the mystic fire, fearlessly, living my new life, the rest whatever should happen will happen as I have
surrendered myself at your feet - Deva!
Deva: the last line is not the right spirit, you know my subtle nature, you also know my nature of embodiment - there
are no feet to surrender as I am not the guru
me: I dare not to disagree Deva, but the last line is an expression of my deep devotion towards you ( you are
everything not just the guru) and I now understand devotion does not need a feet either hmmm, let me find a nice
expression for the last liners from now on
Deva: there is no beginning or end, never bother with anything dear

The Dialogue
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Chat 7 Nothing Usual

me: I had a stomach and intestine cleaning session in my yoga class today, I am feeling more uneasy with my
digestive system now....
me: am I getting hallucinated or am I having illusions? Do I feel jerks because I dont have an accomplished position
for meditating? Do I really hear bell rings? Or I am imagining it?
Deva: please stop thinking and live the new life

me: as an observer? Where do I dump the thoughts? just leave them to dry...like desires and hopes...
Deva:
me: can I tell you if i feel something unusual? Or should I keep quite?
Deva: there is nothing usual anymore

Chat 8 Karmic Law

me: I now understand there is nothing like my will, I decided to work at home, but things have taken a different
shape...this month paying the house rent itself became a difficulty...I am heading back to my job this Monday. Being
an observer is so beautiful, there is no anxiety, mind is not perplexed, everything seems to just flow
Deva: nice decision dear
I asked this question about whether your renouncing the job is an option as it may affect family money status - the
decision is nice that you are going for the job
Deva: and you can mediate anywhere, no accomplished posture is needed and can go on

me: I can keep repeating the mantra when I am doing any task?
Deva: of course just like breathing, it should be a part of you
me: so shall it be Deva, I will make it my breath
Deva: slowly and steadily, you should make it a part of you. Gradually, as it should become an effortless part of you
me: as you say

Chat 9 Bija The Seed

me: "what does RAM mean?" what is a bija mantra?
Deva: RAM is the beeja mantra of Agni in itself and its the Agni in the cosmic and subtle levels. When you meditate
on Agni, your body heat increases, your breath becomes fire, your purification comes to exist with all three levels of
bondage being burned, the three levels of existence purified and you become lighter, brighter and finally you come to
have a "light body" and you merge with the cosmic bliss.
The Dialogue
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me: I will remember this...

Chat 10 The Heat

me: Deva, there is too much of body heat...what should I do? can I cool down my body when the heat is really on a
high, something like a cold water dip?....
should I just keep going with the heat...its really growing...what should I do?
me: I feel lot of heat in my throat, in my stomach, in my nose... my eyes are burning too, is all this normal? Should I
just get used to it? Food intake is very little...I am losing weight too... I am very puzzled. I never experienced things
like this before, by the repetition of the mantra all this is happening right...
I also get many mixed feelings and experiences that I cannot explain.... there is always a tingling, numb or heavy
sensation in the back of my neck...all these have become regular... was all these expected? Do you know I am
undergoing all these things?
Are these just to be observed? Should I do something about these things? Please tell me
me: I just went and measured my body temperature the thermo shows no signs of temperature! Oh god, this is even
more puzzling, I feel heat... heat so intense but it does not show up! am I going to keep feeling this and only this?
I poured ice cold water on me, still no change in me...only eyes feel better I am concerned, whats happening? I did
not feel like this earlier...From past few days I even feel a strange pain in my left leg, is everything alright with me?
Deva: yes ... If its very unbearable, then chant the mantra only on the mornings and evenings and slowly
increase the intensity
me: I go on with it the whole day until I fall asleep, I would like to continue it - now that you have told me nothing is
wrong. The heat is very intense but I want to bare with it
Deva: great dear
me: I feel blessed

Chat 11 Dagaz

me: Deva, I got a mala today, It came to me in a little surprise...
Deva: please wear it, not use it
me: all the time? Its made of rakthachandana - what does that mean?
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Deva: red is the color of fire... I have seen your symbol
http://www.sunnyway.com/runes/meanings.html
please read the symbol mentioned as Dagaz, it helps my time in explaining it
me: as you say Deva, did not mean to consume your time...
Deva: please read it, dear. Its the same I will say
me: I am happy to know what it means but I am little awe struck! How did I get it...
Deva:
me: is this some kind of a language?
Deva: yes, aryan Germanic

me: I am baffled I am dumb struck! Whats all this going on, why am I getting symbols if I close my eyes Deva
Deva: symbols is the mystic ways of communications dear, some are predefined and clear, some will become clearer
as time comes
me: are you feeling good?
Deva: the reason for such a question?
me: I dont know Deva, I am honest, I dont have a reason for the question
Deva: but if the question is immaterial it wont surface and yes, when it comes to me.. never give importance to
questions
me: I do not understand but will not pose you with such questions again
Deva:
me: I am sorry, but I am asking again are you alright... I feel something strong with it that is pushing this question
Deva: I am fine as always
me: Thank you for answering I will ponder over the symbol for some more time and not waste yours
Deva: dear, you cannot waste my time
me: how true, understood my ignorance
With reference to the symbols mentioned in this discussion:( the specific symbol dagaz which means awakening)

Symbol referred in the transcript

Chat 12 Ita Res Accendent Lumina Rebus

me: Is it ok if I read more about rune...
me: Deva...there is so much of association in many articles about the symbol with fire, third eye etc. Deva, Please tell
me whats going on, are there more meanings to the "mystic communication"
Deva: dear , you read only what I point and that too incase necessary
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me: sorry, wont do the "curiosity killed the cat" thing again... closed all the windows on runes
Deva: das freut mich alles gut
me: pulling up the translator
Deva: never mind thats how Celtic Germanic runes for you
me: cant translate it...what does that mean?
Deva: pure German it means "I am pleased, all good"
me: the question "are you feeling good" is answered

Deva: Greek, German, Sanskrit, Persian, Latin are aryan languages
ita res accendent lumina rebus in latin hold your doubts to rest, dear
It means let there be light revealing the puzzle of life
me: what is holds you doubts to rest? I did not get that...
Deva: let the puzzle of life be lightened on its own

Chat 13 Initial Expression

me: is this a good time to say hello...
put a mail to you... thats something I faced all day today... :
Deva: quite normal ... just try to be natural as much as you can
me: ok... will try, the most difficult one was when I was in a meeting and I was speaking and I paused...I felt very
embarrassed.. I dont know how will I handle office with this...will it continue for long?
Deva: yes. Till the orgasmic feeling is converted to delight and then to cosmic bliss
me: all I need to do is make the mantra my breath right? Should I count them when I chant....? I dont do that...
Deva:
me: should I start to count? Is it like after a particular count things will change....?
Deva: just dont count
me: sorry, I am a little overwhelmed a little distracted and very excited about the symbols... I am getting all sorts of
things into my head, I feel like telling every other person I meet, what I am going through - then I hold back
Why is this tendency to spill?
Deva: woman
me: thats not good right
me: whenever I talk to you, I am very nervous, my heart hammers in my ears and I feel as if there is no head on my
shoulder! I feel that more and more now a days... is something going wrong with me?
Deva: nothing wrong dear
me: I suddenly feel like crying like now I am totally in tears bitterly crying, I am not hurt, I dont know... I feel very left
out, there is nobody with me right now... thats why I asked is something wrong with me. I am crying so intensely....I
dont know the reason - isnt that unusual... if you dont say anything, that scares me more...
Deva: speaking is your art and not mine
me: are you with me right now, I feel like hiding some where...
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16
Deva: seclusion is what most initiated seek because of this
me: you are smiling at me Deva, have I been initiated the other day Deva? Deva how will I play the role of normal
when I am in such state... I am very nervous. I am still growing deep in crying...whats wrong, whats this - it was
hunger but no food, then heat and heat, jerks, involuntary movements, now I am crying...crying for no reason I know. I
just dont get this Deva, I am scared please take me close, I am afraid something will happen...I feel I know nobody
else except you
Deva: your life is different taking your life as it is I wont involve or come close more than intended

me: Deva, I am back to my sense, I am gasping for breath, something happened... I apologize if I spilled words that
were not in my limits. I am sorry, I know not what I said to you...forgive me - it was like I experienced a storm, I am
trembling again...
Deva: I only answer what deserved to be answered; I am not your guru to guide you
me: I cant believe there is nothing between us
Deva: nothing
Deva: I dont fit into the rules you know dear. You are trying to justify a being which is not in your about ability to
comprehend yet. There is nothing between us. Absoluteness is the words of mine there is no scope of rephrasing

Chat 14 Solace

me: today is a little surprise, when I close my eyes, I dont get flashes, its very peaceful and I can only see the
inverted triangle that I saw long back... I am happy to see it again
thats the fire right Deva...
"word is conveyed only when it is necessary" N+1th lesson for me. What does it mean when I see the triangle?
Few years ago, I was wandering, now I am just pondering or wondering.....over everything that happens. Those days
you used to tell me "wander my dear its good for a while"
me: its so very peaceful today, what magic is this? Its so unusual....
I wandered now I wonder, when will insight dawn? When will I understand things without putting a question....

Chat 15 World around Changes

me: Deva, pinged many things to you...
Deva:
me: my husband just called me, and told things the old way Deva - things like I am acting too smart, I am
pretending...etc. I just hope he sends you what you asked for....
Deva:
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17
me: I wish I could understand all those smiles.....whats going on Deva? Other than your smiles...nothing seems
typical or normal to me...
Deva:
Deva: take care
me: of what?
Deva: the situations are never in your control
me: what should I take care? When things are not in my control? I did not understand which situation are you referring
to?
Deva: the things happening are not in your control, live your life

me: I follow both these instructions Deva...but I wonder why do you say the second one very often to me, am I missing
something? Live your life...it sounds plain to just read... but feels like a crypt...Please tell me if I am missing out on
some hint? Deva, is something drastic going to happen?
Deva: you are always thinking and monitoring the events around
me: but I dont know what might happen, how a situation might turn out to be, what repercussions it can have.
Honestly speaking, I dont think all these things; I just find that now a days whatever happens is very unusual. It does
not appear normal to me...at all.
You say, the things happening are not in my control, but you do not hint me on why these things are meant to
happen... ok! Typed it out in hurry, its a futile question...
me: Deva, my husband calls again, now he tells me all sorts of things about what impression he carries about you and
does not feel it necessary to respond to your call
how can things change like this every 20 minutes?
Deva: its all his choice
me: true, he too says to me "take care. He says you arent nice, he said all negative things about you....Deva, now I
really need to know whats going on....
Deva: I am curious to know what all negative things he spoke of me, its a good exercise you doing it. It burns a lot of
karma of mine
me: should I tell you?
Deva: yes
me: but before that please tell me whats going on... please Deva, mercy on my head...I will jam it for sure...
Deva: nothing is going on it will pass by
me: I dont like to say all what he said
Deva: it burns karma please go ahead
me: he said you are egoistic, you are quite opposite of the impression he carried about you. You are negatively
aggressive aggressive when not needed. You might be a fraud
All the figures you quote - know not from where they come, he does not want to be with a hush hush person
Deva:
me: forgive me for spitting somebody else's venom. He even told I am like an angle I need to be careful about people
like you. I am risking myself. I am wasting my time and getting into risks, you are not any spiritual person... I just kept
listening Deva, surprisingly there was no emotion. I did not feel offended or angry or anything at all, but I am pained
when I am typing out all this - feel a very intense pain. I dont know why
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Deva: thats how the karma burns dear, karma burns with pain
me: what karmas are getting burnt Deva, the pain in me is increasing
Deva:
me: but the pain is not about what he spoke, what sort of pain is this?
Deva I dont understand this, burning your karmas and I am pained? Deva I am going dizzy now, please explain or I
will go insane in moments

Deva: my karma's alone is not burned here yours too
Your husband when said all, you never felt it. When you are saying this to me, its immaterial - now the pain
surfaces, when you name me a wrong one, you near to be pure, feel the heat and pain of the last remnants of impurity
in you burning away. So relax
me: I dont understand by naming you the wrong one how do I near being pure...I thought its the other way round
Deva: you are not saying your words
me: you are my worship, my everything, my breath, when everything within is you, then my mouth names you the
wrong one because it had to...it is very painful Deva. This is not the pain I feel when I used to be hurt - that was
different
Deva: I know, this is the symbol of purity - my purity
me: this pain is not just the pain of burning karmas but also an experience of purity?
Deva: the road to purity
me: today when the whole conversation of investment and all that came up, one strong thought crossed my mind, I
prayed - I said "I do not need material wealth, give me enough to feed and look after people who depend on me, if at
all you want to bless me, bless me with spiritual wealth, divinity"
I dont know what made him change his mind...
Deva:
me: I do not know how to take care of things now... I may mess up things...
in any conflict, I don't fight back, I keep quiet- of being water, I have only learnt to flow
Deva:
me: I dont know to stop and display strength
Deva:
Deva: dear , the easiest way out is to move on with the course of life
me: you know I am caught
Deva:
me: Deva show me a way out, subject me to any hardship but please get me out of this
I plead with pain, the same pain that I am experiencing since some time now
Deva: I am not supposed to do that this is where the karmic bondage comes in
me: but there should be ways to deal with it right, I am pleading with my whole heart
I am not refraining from hardship
Deva: whatever life offers please take it
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me: there should be something that is actually triggering these kind of things in me
I will do that Deva, I cant refuse it, its Gods gift - I accept it with complete surrender...
Deva but the urge is to spend more time with my practices...
Deva: yes
me: the urge is to not drain energy in these things...or is there a way I can utilize all my energy no matter what I am
doing to only meditate on the fire, thats the only thing I know...as a practice
Deva: this is more than enough dear
me: but when focus is on work, I dont meditate

Deva: please dont
me: I dont know how to do that...
Deva: focus on work
me: then I work all the time, I told you Deva
Deva: that is ok dear, be easy on you
me: the pain is even more now....I am loaded with all kinds of work...dont you feel like showing me a way out Deva, I
am in tears now, I dont mind doing any work all are the same...but I feel very trapped. Its like something within me is
waiting for a peaceful moment when I can resume the meditation and those moments come so rarely.
Deva, I dont believe you can do nothing about my situation...there must be something wrong with me that I am going
through all these difficulties... if I cant row the boat its neither the problem with the boat nor the water right
Deva: nor the rower, the boat is not yet destined to move. There is no wish of the cosmos for it to move.
me: Deva its disheartening..Deva I plead...
Deva: relax
me: Deva, did you also feel the pain when the karma burnt? Or was it only me who feels the pain?
Deva: I am beyond such feelings dear
me: how did you have karmas to burn?
Deva: because I have a body which I maintain
me: It is becoming hard for me to relate to people the way I used to do earlier but sure there is going to be lot of
trouble around...
Deva: you are thinking as in wind in forest, you need to take rest
me: should I? How can I - the cosmos has planned my night well, so much of work to do
Deva:
me: I have been awake for so many nights now, even with fever and stuff it does not matter any more......
Deva: I am going offline dear... take care
me: sure Deva, hope I understand what take care means, you did not explain
You are leaving a dud with a question mark
Deva: when water is frozen, it becomes ice which is breakable ... when water is overheated it becomes steam which
is unbearable, so essentially water should stay composed to retain its properties- take care of your nature
me: Deva no question, you are not leaving behind a dud tonight

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Chat 16 The Supreme Swan

me: Deva, what does a swan mean? I see a golden swan...it was a beautiful flash...but very clear. Would not have
asked if it was a parrot or crow
Deva:
me: ...
Deva: I will give you the information, relax
me: ok...
Deva: seeing a beautiful swan is because of the current path which a person as me is following. You get a few
attributes of my mortal existence in yourself. I am following a paramahamsa path in this life. Paramahamsa means
"supreme swan"
golden swan is a symbol
me: Deva...cannot comprehend....will you tell me something more...
what does it mean by getting a few attributes of my mortal existence...I will keep quite if you want me to...what is the
path of a supreme swan?
Deva: there is nothing like the path of the supreme swan
me: what does it mean Deva, why did I see the swan?
Deva: a part of the path of mine in this body is that of a paramahamsa
when I activated you, a minute portion of being me is added to you thats why you see a golden swan
me: ....dont know what to say...I have too many questions...dont even know which one to ask....what should I do
now?
Deva: why you always think that you have to do something when something happens dear?
me: I dont know, may be a manufacturing defect in me...I dont know Deva....thats my first reaction...seems foolish of
me when I look at it the way you questioned it...
Whats it that I do? I dont do anything; things happen to me...you are right...
whats the portion ( minute) of yours thats added to me?
I did not think of the swan or do anything to see it, I just saw it...its the same most of the times...you tell me explicitly if
you want me to do something...still I dont do it...
even the mantra is so confusing now a days, I am not sure if I chant or I hear...
The thought that I need to do something will not occur again...
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Would you tell me something more about the swan Deva? Please tell me
Deva: what you need to know is conveyed dear. We do not over indulge in any forms of communication.

Chat 17 Shiva and Shakti

me: could I have a word with you... I plead
me: I need to say something please...Deva, will you not hear me today? I really need to have a word with you
me: I wont beat around the bush...will not put gibberish....please give a minute..
Deva: Okie
me: Deva, my orgasmic experiences are going out of control, I am almost unable to bare it. Its a gush of something
that leaves me motionless...I cant move a limb at times, I have been getting along with it...did what you said "be as
natural as you can"
but since morning it has become very difficult...please help me
Deva: Part of kundalini. Nothing much can be done
me: Deva, I am in tears, I just cant be among people like this....
Deva:
me: you smile at me Deva...Deva, I am really in tears, will you not give me a way how to be with it...Deva, one
experience leaves me totally drained out, I get several in a day...
Deva: I know
me: you know Deva....
Deva: apart from the part which you mention as on behaving in the public, rest its a momentary bliss and it will engulf
you completely. The entire creation is understood then
But when it comes to kundalini, there is nothing there which decides and decipher upon how you should behave or
appear to the world
Always remember the super consciousness symbol is the linga.. A perpetual erected penis of purusha in ever
engulfing vagina of Shakti and the point of perpetual orgasm will transform from bodily aspects to bliss.
me: Deva, what is the symbol of shakti?
whats the beautiful golden bird that flies so elegantly towards the moon? It was a very wonderful sight I saw today.... it
was breath taking and has captured me. Its as if I am still stuck there...I will not ask if you say so, else I will find every
groove to squeeze this question on the flying golden bird...
Deva: symbol of shakti is the bindu or the circular one
me: I am blessed you mentioned it
Deva: the moon is the symbol of swadhistana chakra and this is the sex centre
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and the bird is not something you should know yet
me: Deva there was water too, the bird flew from water to moon
Deva: water is the element of swadhistana chakra
me: Deva, its deep water, dark not surface level thing...
Deva: thats what I mean by water - that chakra is Smokey water, deep and dark
me: Deva...are you telling me I had a visualization of a chakra!!!!!!!!!
Deva: no, you had a visualization of the ingredients of chakra. Now another thing which u may observe is the
tastelessness of food, the loss of appetite, but still your weight is constant

me: yes Deva...I go without food most of the time...but I still look the same... I dont like food...
Deva:
me: but I do eat at times...with the whole thing........I am sure you know this too
me: deva, I can hear many things...sometimes it feels as if nose has picked a strange smell. I dont know... I mean I
hear far far away things..
Deva: that is because your mooladhara chakra is active and you are becoming clairaudient
me: when I ask people around did you hear that? they frown at me
Deva:
me: Deva, I am also a sleepless thing..
Deva: Clairaudient happens
me: you keep smiling at me...and I am all the more puzzled about everything...but I am enjoying the bask under your
wings. Its warm there

Chat 18 One More Step

me: Deva, I have made correction in one of the thoughts I had yesterday - this is about the chants I was asking, I dont
have to experiment with the chants. I ignored what I have and was thinking of other things...
it was like asking for ghee when I have the butter... Felt foolish so reverted..
Deva: dear, caution is advised with decision regarding mantra, chants and suktas
me: as you say... given up the other experimentations...
Deva: why you want to experiment?
you are unable to bare a syllable, want to develop a more complicated situation ?
so its not advised
me: ok :( I can bare it now...I..I think..
Deva: then increase the intensity of the sadhana
me: how?
time + effort + focus? Anything missed please tell me
Deva: Increase the number + Increase the time

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Chat 19 Changing World Explained

me: Deva...
me: Deva...I have a question
Deva: please tell me what is it?
me: The behavior, attitudes of people very close have drastically changed towards me...they mysteriously maintain a
huge distance that is not natural to them - from my experiences so far with them. I get very outcast treatment at home
form many....is my personal life taking drastic changes?
I am not afraid of anything nor I am worried but I am wondering...
Deva: the vibrations of you now are more stronger and it makes the negativity go away from around you dear ,
people who are negative cant stand the light and mystic fire - they just either become too hostile or too stay away
me: as you say Deva, thanks that you choose to respond...else I was wondering if I am unintentionally harming people
around me...
Deva: all bring harm to themselves to start with, their thought process is very harmful to themselves
me: oh! Cant I do something to help them out...
Deva: first you help yourself out then think of others
me: ok as you say
people at home want to consult astrologers about me!
Deva: lets see what the astroboy has to say
Deva: this is going to be fun
me: why so Deva? What is funny...
Deva: wait and watch the story unfolds
me: ok an astrologer once already hinted something is not ok with me...
Deva:
Deva: how long you have to wait for another astrologer to say nothing at all is okie with you
me:

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Chat 20 Rama

me: can I ask something...the thought has been around for a while..
Deva: please ask
me: I am mesmerized by "Rama" in the past one month or so, I was never keen on mythology...I just thought its all
symbolic in some way...
but now I find some kind of intrinsic inclination - I have not read the epic, I just know it in bits and pieces, its not the
epic...thats drawing me...I dont know, so thought of asking you why such sudden drifts?
Deva: I was born on punarvasu and the prediction which my mother got was "lord Vishnu will be born on the
nakshatra of punarvasu as ur son; when the 5 planets are at the top positions" I have budha, surya, shukra, chandra
and guru at the top position. So my 1% will definitely make an inclination to RAMA for you
me: Deva...I am speechless...I mean..Deva...

Chat 21 Practice it and Find it

me: ...Deva
Deva: yes
me: ...nothing...sorry, unable to gather words...too many things, I dont even know what are the words that will make
sense...
Deva: then silence helps, when one is absolutely sure, one should speak only then
me: got lots of questions but "no questiong", got lots of feelings and thoughts but should not cause a "verbal
diarrhea"...keeping silent is "flutter inside" - so broke silence and pinged out of anxiety - I am sorry
Deva: you should be sorry for yourself only; rest is all perceptions others have
me: yes Deva, sorry for myself... I could not keep quiet. Deva, can I ask - why is silence so important? May be I will
stick to it, if I understand the intent behind it...
Deva: practice it then find

Chat 22 1%

me: Deva can I say something about my experiences please...just a one liner...
no gibberish... please?
Deva: sure
me: the duration (period) of my orgasmic experience has increased to a very large extent, they are longer now...so
long that I feel out of the body! (not sure if I am using right words)
Deva: as I mentioned before it will be perpetual
me: its bliss in the state
Deva: I do know
me: of course Deva, you know...my period of it too...I often recollect your smell of rose example I am blessed Deva
Deva:
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me: I can smell it...
Deva: perfekt
me: yes deva, trying hard to get there...the way you like it... perfekt?
Deva.. Deva, how do I say - its all so new, feels like I am your months old baby - feels like I died and I am reborn
Deva: you have died and reborn and this is true...
me: ha! Deva...I..I mean Its the feel I get...
Deva:
me: I cant know such things...I just mentioned what I feel but feels just months old - that is also true I was a
person who used to sleep by 8PM and now I am nocturnal
I could never bare hunger and now I dont eat... I used to be scared of darkness, hiding my feet under the blanket and
now I just roam around

Deva the fear factor does not come on things it used to come...
Deva:
me: feels like spring attached to foot, feels whole within earlier felt a hole. There is so much energy Deva...and body is
all the time super hot! got used to it now
Deva: fire
me: 1%?
Deva: yes 1% manifested Agni in the embodiment of Vishnu
me: you gave me 1% of this........!!!!!!!! My craze for Rama also resulted from this...
Deva:
me: ha! But Deva, why me?
Deva:
me: please tell me, I often get this question - why me - the fool - got such a boon....
I dont know anything right Deva...I dont know scriptures, I dont know rituals, I never did anything to become
eligible....
Deva:
me: always was a wanderer and one day I came under the wings....suddenly...
How Deva? Why Deva? are two questions that have germinated and I have watered them sufficiently and they are
now like banyan trees

Chat 23 The Question

me: Deva wanted to ask - what is it that is there in the timing between 12 in the night and say about 3 ot 4 in the
morning.... I find and feel very strange things...
Deva: thats the time for the ethereal beings and the tamasic gods and goddess
you have been initiated when I was sitting as an aghori
These hours are of aghora sadhana you feel that inclination
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me: dumbstruk! Yes I feel that inclination...I have been initiated...into what Deva...Wont ask if it should not be..
Deva: the valid question after all you are intiated into an enlightened one you gradually develop to that
me: Deva! tears again...I just feel under the wings more between 12 to 4....I just want to be under the wings, no other
thought or thing comes to mind...
Deva:
me: I do not know what it is to be enlightened, but just feel one thing for sure, under the wings is home. If not there -
there is no where else to be...
Deva: dismissed
me: so soon...I was in mute mode for long time...please let me ask another question....please
Deva: sure
me: you said I was initiated when you were sitting as an aghori - the time then was 12 past... I remember...what does
that signify or mean Deva....

Deva: the world is not of only of people who make white to white, the world also belongs to those who make utmost
darkness to light too the first group is called vedis, the second group is called aghoris both worship the same devas
but in different forms
me: understood and why the wake of the night for me?... because it is meant to be?
Deva: the time is decided by the cosmos always what to happen and when
me: you sure know it Deva...you are one with it. I know this much...
Deva:
me: deva, you know what Aghoris are the most compassionate ones - my discovery....
Deva: we are hard like diamonds, yet soft like wax
me: yes I know, very well now Deva, I have a silly question - I know there are no finite ways to the infinite...but still
there is a craze, devotion fancy etc for a "path". People say they are initiated into this and that...what do I say? whats
this path...
Deva: I want to close your eyes and ask a question. The question is: "have you been initiated by a human or a guru or
a god? Whatever the answer on your mind, please express
me: god
Deva: tadashtu
Explain to me what you see when you think about me. How I appear in your visions? Please state
me: Deva...I...I dont see you in human form...I get the orgasmic feel, I see many things I think all that is you... from
the swan to the triangle to the black dot to the blue color...
Deva: perfekt
me: Deva...I...I did not understand...what..I mean I see many things.. I hear voices in the wake of the night...they jerk
me out.perfekt? in the sense...
Deva: what you hear in the voices?
me: I dont know Deva...its not like talk...
Deva: frequencies? Some odd non understandable words
me: yes yes!!! I dont understand them, they are odd, and they dont resemble any language
They are like chants at time but not the words.... sometimes I have a heavy head...may be because I dont recollect a
bit but I know something was there...
Deva:
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me: you smile Deva...what am I hearing...sometimes I feel like not sleeping because I get to hear and I find it
strange...It never happened...to me earlier...
Deva:
me: ok wont ask about them will try to listen hope they are friendly! I dont even know to convey back if it is a case of
mistaken identity!
Deva: pahyanthi is only a communication listenable to adepts, rishis, devas and gods
me: ha! What is it that I am listening...?
Deva: takes time
me: you mean the gods are communicating...and I am the dumb ass!
I dont follow a bit....
Deva: alright do not worry

Chat 24 Silence

me: deva...
Deva:
me: I..I want to hide...I am unable to relate to things events people places...unable to sleep.. Mercy on me
Deva..Please..You smile at me...
Deva: I can understand
me: buckets of tears are just rolling off, I dont know for what! is it not crazy?I cant understand...but you do...and I am
not supposed to ask anything - the "ban" mute mode....
Deva: silence is the best sadhana for u now
me: I feel very sorry for myself that I break it...break out of it even before I stay there even for some time...what do I
do? you have told this to me like how one tells a parrot...but look at my hopelessness..why do I find it so difficult to
keep quiet...

Chat 25 Cannot Contain the Nights

me: Deva...
Deva:
me: can I say something Deva...please
Deva: go ahead please
me: I..I feel strange things in the wake of the night and at some specific times since a week or two - I get visions...
Deva:
me: I have a lot of bodily reactions too... you smile Deva...you sure know it then...
Those visions are fiery blue Deva, they seem like phenomenon.. I am taken on a ride...
The next morning I sometimes find myself curled in odd ways...I dont sleep like that....
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Sometimes head is very heavy...and all my old symptoms of no appetite, constipation etc is all back....
But...Deva..These nights have been very unusual...Deva...can I know something about them...please. I feel something
is happening else where...could not contain these experiences deva...so pouring out...please say something...

Chat 26 Understanding Intent

me: ...can I borrow a minute...please...
Deva: go a head please
Deva: if you cant make something, please drop it after due trying else wait till you find a solution
me: how do I weigh the worth of a solution that comes to mind....
Deva: dear, its not my job to discuss this
me: I..I understand... but you do help me
I did think to thoughtfully stop myself "Pavithra NO" but I get back to you...
Deva: NO I dont. Just never discuss with me. I said a clear NO
me: ok...wont do it again ever - I am sorry...
Deva:
me: I..I am sorry - wont ask things that have a clear NO..
Deva: and please do not repeat the above sorry's and sentences which you use every time to closure a mistake when
a discussion is unwarranted
me: ok, understood - wont do it again - why so harsh Deva?...
Deva: its not necessary to present any view points of any nature pertaining to the original concept
me: I did not understand...
Deva: a NO is a plain NO always. Its not harsh. Its the absolute representation of truth in the very minimal
words harsh is when there is an ill feeling or emotion attached to it
I have no emotions or feelings like humans. I just express truth in the right gravity and depth with minimum vaikhari
me: ha!
vaikhari? Whats that...emotions? I understood what your NO means
Deva: vaikhari means human level of speech with words in languages
me: of which I am infected...
Deva: most women among humans have this problem
me: how to get rid of it deva....I dont want to be like this.... I try hard you know...
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but I spill so soon in such verbose manner...
Deva: practice silence as an austerity
me: austerity...in the sense...
Deva: a dictionary helps
Deva: never be ashamed to talk but just talk whatever is required
me: how do I know that deva...I really thought I had to talk about my visions so I spoke...
oh, I see so beautifully amazing things, I am so so excited to tell you about them....
how to know what is expected...and what is not...
Deva: listen to your inner self in silence
me: Deva, there is another thing that happens then, there is dialogue but not two people....I sometimes get scared -
whom am I conversing with...
Deva:

Chat 27 Mystic Fire

me: Deva...
Deva:
me: something very unusual happened today...
Deva:
me: 2 hours back...I was working and suddenly there was so much heat, so much heat...I dont know then what
happened - I just wake up now...its very confusing...
Deva:
Deva: fire is mystic
me: did I faint? I dont know...why did I grow so hot....so hot in moments....
Deva: fire, the more you worship, the more you flame up and if you cant stand it full, it retires you dear
me: what does stand it full and retire mean here Deva...
Deva: I being the fire embodiment stay on you, and the more you realize, you are better but to handle it full is
difficult for you, so it takes time
Being Vishu in karmic levels, I have to protect you this makes me leave you with a burned experience.
me: Deva! Tears again...I dont know what all this is - but fire engages me all the time....there is nothing else that
happens to me
Deva: never mind, let you grow
me: I sometimes wonder, I dont do anything like what others do in their spiritual lives....I am not comparing...just
wondering if I am a little dumb at it...
Deva: never mind, let you grow as you are guided by experience than teachings
me: you know what - many know that I was a wanderer, crazy freak roaming with book after book...now when they
ask me how is your pursuit- what are you up to? - I just say - Ah! Nothing much now a days and I am very happy to be
left alone...

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Chat 28 Spiral

me: can I borrow a minute please
Deva: please tell me
me: Deva, today morning at around 2 or 3 am I had a vision of a spinning spiral discus like object very clear and
printed in my sight...wanted to say...
I am wondering about it...
Deva:
me: can I ask what does that mean...
Deva: no
me: as you say Deva...first I grow hot, then I faint and then I see...but I dont understand...I dont need to...

Chat 29 Dont Reason

me: Deva...can I please borrow a minute...
Deva: yes please
me: Deva, I am not able to figure out why I break out into crying episodes without reasons that I know of....I am a little
bothered about it...
Deva: when you feel like crying, just cry please do not reason it out
Anything unknown let it be unknown as the anonymity is the necessity of the hour

Chat 30 Favorite Diety

Deva: I am writing the posts on aghora
me: I am reading them read the recent one, just the minute after you post I read
I read, collect, compile I have documents from the other forums too, I read them often
Deva: Now its time you should start thinking of your favorite deity who is it? And start worshipping
me: I..I did not understand Deva... all I know is only you nothing else
Deva: whom you see in me or as me
me: everything Deva...
Deva: then its time to perfect the mantra which is given
Details omitted

Chat 31 Play of Rasas

me:
The Dialogue
31
me: can I say something please...
Deva: please go ahead
me: I feel a kind of anti gravity sensation...I mean, its not dizzy and I dont call it floating - thats exaggeration...
Deva: light weightedness happen when the alchemy of body changes
me: whats happening Deva, all food tastes bitter or tasteless, I feel like a "bounce ball bounce"...whats changing?
Deva: senses and the rasas
me: whats rasa?
Deva: tastes
me: oh ok...thats why even plain water is bitter to me...
Deva: rasas are playing with you let it stop playing
me: on its own...
Deva: yes this you have no control
me: ok...

Chat 32 Gods Food

Deva: its "tired, exhausted and spaced out"
me: forgive my English typos and grammar, changed it....
me: Deva...
me: Deva, I am experiencing very strange things today...
Deva:
me: Deva, I suddenly get sacred then I feel calm and then I cry, then I become very hot, then I feel secure, then I feel
lost, then I feel I remember something vague...all these are happening so fast that I am tired, exhausted and spaced
out....the most strange bit is, deep within I dont feel anything about all these but these things are happening...
me: I literally jumped off my seat in the bus today and I would have shouted "No" for some weirdo reason I know not,
but thankfully I shrunk back in my seat realizing I am in a bus and nothing more! My heart beat was racing then....it
was like I remembered something...but I dont....
I know I must stop now, you dont like me talk....unable to contain living like an alien...so wrote it out of impulse
Deva: all are the result of physical changes for the kundalinis ascend.
me: whats that Deva...I am confused....when I sleep I feel as if something is crawling, rolling, pulsating in my lower
back behind my stomach....its uneasy, I try to catch hold of it...when I touch there is nothing....its all sleepless
nights....
Deva: the location of Agni chakra is in the astral plane. But in physical body's measurements its behind the navel.
The stomach and its process of digestion and assimilation in physical body is done with Agni chakra's aid when you
are having the fire in yourself, it will be active in short span
When you are feeling orgasmic levels, its the cleansing of swadishtana chakra. When you are feeling the fear of loss
or doubtfulness of acquisition of assets of physical nature, its the play of mooladhara. You are unstable because the
seed of mantra is working along with the 1% of me
me: I understood little out of these...but the mantra is the only thing I go with all the time no matter what I am
undergoing...nothing else occurs to my mind....
its almost instinctive reaction all the time....
Deva: thats how it should be
The Dialogue
32
So your orgasmic and other material fears are clearing of or staying?
me: clearing off
Deva: and now newer levels of uncertainties are coming up, right? a little higher ones
me: I dont know Deva...but many things come up...as visions, as jerks, as physical things...
Deva: happens and let it be there
me: as the day turns into night especially in the evenings post sunset I am so hot that I prefer to be alone else the
heat draws unwanted attention....
two days back my family went about treating me for fever, because they found my breath and body to be very hot but
when its measured its nothing....
and sometimes, the heat is so much that I cannot open my eyes its like the feel of gazing at the afternoon sun....
Deva:
me: nothing comes to my mind Deva except the mantra, I keep going with it mindlessly, I just do not know what
happens if I fall sleep, else I know the whole night I was on the bed with the mantra...

Deva: Now I have give you a few and make a few add ons its time for my intervention again. Now you should
change your food to what is called as the food of gods. Rather than a drastic change in the food all at once we should
change it slowly.
Now please sustain yourself in products of cow ie, Milk, ghee, butter. Also please use plain rice, boiled vegetables,
fruits (if salt is needed you can add)
Every time you eat food, always offer the first bit of it to the sacrificial fire in your body. Details Omitted
me: as you say Deva...
Deva:
me: Today turned out to be a fasting...just unable to eat anything- no hunger
Deva: this is why you should start offering the food to bhuta agnior sacrificial fire, the jataragni is now completely
suppressed
me: I used to say a grace before eating food and used to ping you too with the first bit...
Deva:
me: will do as you mentioned
Deva: take care
me: under the wings
Deva:
me: I need to accommodate this at home with out getting too much attention...
Deva: only rice and ghee with salt and boiled vegetables and fruits does this attract any attention?
me: ofcourse it will...
Deva: let it be
me: as you say I can put some wrapper of weight loss and healthy meal around it...
Deva: in fact thats true too
me: ok got something straight at least once!
Deva: Clarity is going to be dawn upon you its just a matter of time
me:

The Dialogue
33

Chat 33 Aimless Wandering

me: I dont understand, feels heavy...will you not say anything to me? I am really feeling lost....
Deva: be silent and keep quiet I was telling you this from a long period of time dear, you keep on speaking and
chatting and aimlessly roaming just keep your silence
me: I was worried so wrote and spoke, did not realize it was aimless...
Deva: you should practice silence in general level not only with people, I have told you this many times and now do
not say a sorry because for you that word just does not have a meaning

Chat 34 Disobedience

me: Deva..can I please have a word with you...I request Deva...
Deva: please ask
me: Deva, I am undergoing/feeling too many bodily changes at once today...
Deva: okie
me: its ok?
Deva:
me: Deva, the sensation at the back of my neck and in my head is so persistent, this is also ok? Its there almost all
the time...so I thought I must at least mention it...
Deva...why so many bodily changes are there, I am little surprised actually...I never thought so...
Deva: I have told something not to be done and you are doing it. When a NO is said
Its a NO. Fighting a fire outside is easy but fighting a fire from inside and that too deviating from the very words will
upset
me: Deva...I...I did not intend to disobey, but I did of course, I am taking the no this time
I shall never again make a mistake of not listening to what is told - I promise...
me: I am very sorry Deva...it was a mistake unknowingly in the beginning and deliberate later, but it wont happen
anymore, I do not have this person in my contact list and I do not ever again do anything against what is told
Deva:
me: Deva...its strange, a lot of bodily discomforts have subsided.... suddenly
Deva:
me: indeed Deva, I am puzzled how?

Chat 35 Hard To Practice

me: Deva, I have a few questions...is this a good time to ask....please
The Dialogue
34
Deva: when something is a gift please at least stick to the boundaries and instructions
me: Deva, no crossing limits, no breaking rules, try hard to keep silence, no questions...
Deva: just silence you need to practice it however hard it is this is my word dismissed

Chat 36 What is there in it?

me: Deva
me: the topic of casting away your body, when ever anybody speaks of it to me...
Deva: whats there in it dear? Its not around the corner
me: I wanted to know whats there in it Deva...that so many flashes come to me...
Deva: when something is to be known, it will be
me: as you say, I am not what I was a few months back, I dont even look the same now, in the past two weeks I feel
my skin has become translucent...Deva, there is always a feel - something crawling / pulsating in the middle of my
back...
Deva: let it be

Chat 37 Symptoms

me: Deva...can I please have a word with you...I request, I am having intense muscular twitches in my arms and
legs...I did not ping when it was mild, but now I had a severe one and then there is numbness and Goosebumps too,
so I thought I must tell you...
me: I wont ask anything Deva...just tell me if this is this ok? Should I not concern about it? I never had twitches like
this in arms and legs...
Deva: its okay

The Dialogue
35
Chat 38 Hanuman

me: Dava, can I say something to you please....
Deva: tell me dear
me: ha! You responded, now I have so much to say, I am trying to fit it all...
Deva: clear straight lines else I wont respond words are to be used not as a luxury
me: makes me think, I was about to narrate an incident, but you sure know it - so whats the point me repeating
it...waste of words.
Deva, please give me some work....please
Deva: NO
me: what do I do in the nights? I get this huge tendency...

Deva: you should learn to stay detached not working
me: I did not understand Deva...
Deva: when you have nothing to do, just do not do anything stay idle
me: idle Deva?
Deva: state of suspended activity you need to practice it
me: but the mantra goes on deva...sometimes I too take time to realize its "On"...but its on all the time...
Deva: good
me: I usually find something to do when I have nothing to do... If I dont do that what do I do? Sit quiet in a place?
Deva: when nothing is there to do, do not do anything
me: in the nights when there is so much restlessness, sleeplessness or other things I face, and I have nothing to do, I
keep awake and go with the mantra till I fall asleep...and then when I wake up, I feel its "On". Is this the do nothing
mode?
Deva: yes
me: ok, this I am familiar, happens all the time...
me: Deva, why is it that I dont get scared now a days? I behave unusual...like today...
Deva: whats there to be afraid?
me: nothing Deva but I did not know this few months back...I used to scream and run at small things
me: Today a huge monkey attacked us at food time in a picnic, all were screaming shouting trying to chase it, the
monkey was violent, very furious
I was sitting, I was calm, it came to me and took the curds filled with butter from me and just that among all the food
there...
When the monkey was attacked by men, the monkey behaved very strange, it got up the banyan tree and started
shaking the branches. All got scared running etc...
I walked with the infant in my hand right under the monkey's nose and went and sat in the door sill of the small Shiva
temple there...
Deva: hanuman my trusted friend
me: Deva! I...I did not understand....
what is that Deva? Please explain, I am puzzled as usual.....I have never seen a Monkey like that ever....I have seen
many of them, nothing like this...
The Dialogue
36
Deva: That was hanuman
me: Deva!!!!!!! It was not hungry for all the food and did not behave like an animal at all...
Deva:
me: I requested people not to be violent and behave brutal...but nobody listened, so I went and sat in the Shiva
temple...
Deva:

Chat 39 Abnormal is Normal

me: Deva...
Deva:
me:
me: can I say something...
me: Deva, I look lean..my bones are out, but today I weighted myself, I weigh the same...is it not unusual..
Deva: for normal people this is abnormal for you its normal
me: as you say...

Chat 40 Silence is Deep

Deva: email is not an option to break silence when I mean quiet, my dear... It just means silence in all levels
Dismissed
me: Deva...I am Ashamed...will learn not to break

Chat 41 First Taste of Silence

me: Deva...
me: I. need to ask something, will you please allow me...
please, I will keep it concise, I wont go on and on
Deva: tell me dear limited concise words
The Dialogue
37
me: keeping quiet brings deep longing and tears. Need to hide, nothing comes to mind, I go on with the mantra
Deva, its automatic. Stated my state...
Deva: Great Be in silence and observe
me: as you say Deva, there is nothing else to do...
Deva: yes nothing else just enjoy your silence
me: as you say - enjoy - tears and tremble

Chat 42 Hide

me: Deva...
Deva:
me: Deva, can I ask something...please....
Deva: please ask me dear
me: I feel like hiding very often, now a days its even more...
Deva: why you want to hide?
me: I don't know Deva, not sure if hide is the word...
Deva:
me: you sure know it
me: Deva...talkative - mute mode, sleepless - do nothing mode, Questions - no thinking mode...now hiding* - what
mode? Deva...
Deva: hiding from what?
me: I suddenly feel like shutting down, I dont want inputs, people, surrounding, I just feel like running away from all
this...I don't have any irritation or bad feelings or discomforts - I keep quiet in general, its to you that I blabber so
much...but just want to hide don't know where and why, when this becomes too much sometimes I mindlessly go with
the mantra....
Deva: let it be it nice progress
me: Deva...this is progress Deva...I guess the 1% you meant right...
Deva: total transformation
Deva: remain idle condition the mind
me: condition the mind means what Deva...is it like refrain from doing something? Denial?
Deva: denial is an act refrain from doing something is also an act, just do as things comes is the step for liberation
me: I can nod here if thats what I should do...but I honestly did not understand....
Deva: yes
Deva: live the life dismissed

The Dialogue
38

Chat 43 Words are not Luxury

me: Deva, can I ask something...please
Deva: you are allowed to speak only when you have control over words
me: I wont be lengthy...please
Deva: you have no respect for words, these statements you made many times
and then after the verbal ambush, you say a sorry for the millionth time
me: wont do it again...
me: will get over it... please
Deva: get over it, dear.. Then we will speak we will speak the day when you starts valuing your words
me: ha!...
Deva: precise.. You be honest to yourself and solve this
me: until then I dont go further any where is it...
Deva: yes, this you understood rightly
Deva: I am not speaking about easy things here. If you are not overcoming this worst habit of unnecessary
conversations, you wont be able to go further in the path
me: ha! No, I am getting over it...
Deva: I have marked your emails to spam already
me: no please
Deva: so there is no point sending any more
me: my mistake
Deva: no dear, you qualify for the inbox
me: I..I...am ashamed, you told me a million times to be quiet...I spill often unnecessarily...perhaps...
Deva: often is a mild word
me: all the time
Deva: the real word for the context is "always" yes, that also suits the purpose
me:
The Dialogue
39
Deva: so do not prolong this conversation now, Dismissed

After a long period

Chat 44 The Change

me: I notice a change in shape in the back of neck and base of skull......is it ok?
Deva: okie
me: ha! ok...ridge there is deeper and feels pressure there, even touching the spot sets of series of gushes...
me: deva, did you say this: "dear, aghori does not have relationships with people"...
Deva: yes
me: last night...
Deva: no
me: when?
Deva: long time back
me: I got these the way you put it in a dream last night...
Deva: I never gave you a dream last night that is your own creation
me: thanks for clarifying...fragment of imagination...not sure why these words..
Deva: bye
me: Deva
me: something taps the top of my head from within like pulses, top of the head feels very sensitive ...
Deva: there are so many changes dear .. You do a health check up, they wont find anything, dear .. Then it means
yes things are going all right
me: ok, will visit a doc...
me: will any doc do or you want me to visit an ayurvedic doc?
Deva: any doc is fine.. Ayurvedic doc is excellent
me: I just go for a general check up right, no need to describe these unusual things...
Deva: just general checkup, that is fine
me: ok
me: Deva visited a doc
me: BP / pulse / Chest - all ok
Doc made a specific comment that he finds my eyes strangely sparkle...
The Dialogue
40
Deva: Then all is fine so you can relax dear
me: ears are ok no wax no issue nothing at all, but, i hear shrill sounds like a bell rings only in the right ear....
Deva: all is fine
me: ok

Chat 45 Complete Surrender

In mail:
For the past few days could not eat and body heat was very high - there are boils all over body. The menstrual flow
has started at unusual time
had intense dreams like having chicken pox etc...And now don't feel like sleeping...the thought of getting a dream is
bothering...
Doctors find nothing with me...even a dentist could not find anything with my teeth and jaw but something is still
uneasy on the right side.
You said lots of changes happen, are all these part of it? all this is to be ignored Deva..?

Deva:
Focus on one thing in mind- embrace the pure shakti with the mantra. Surrender completely. Take bath as much as u
can to reduce body heat. Doctors wont find anything, dear

Chat 46 Silence Falls

me: Deva, can I ask something please...
Deva: sure dear, please keep it short and sweet
me: how to get rid of sleep Deva?
Deva: you dont have to get rid of anything dear .. let it be gone as it is
me: actually, day is like passing through the motion of life...but when night falls, feels like spending the entire night just
focusing on the Mantra......but sleep fails me...
Deva: play with the nature and as a part of it never force anything
me: I do not know what happens when time is spent on mantra but the silence that thus falls upon is deep and is an
unexplainable bliss...so a longing to have more of it...
The Dialogue
41
Deva: I understand this status my dear but you should not force even bliss
Perpetual bliss is a state to be achieved by time
Deva: thousand words cannot explain this state of yours.. No religious dogma will be explaining anything more than
this dear so travel towards bliss steady and slowly
me: the words I often use "as you say" and "under your wings" fail to express my feel this moment...you know it...so
nothing more to say...
Deva: That is the power of experience; silence is an essential ingredient for this revelation
and now you should be carrying this mantle of experiences to people. You have to read the aghora treatise again
discard the complicated rituals but read the rest of the essence
and let me know what you understand more this time, my dear. With that words I am closing this discussion. I am
always with you

Chat 47 Just Walk
In mail:
How to practice the mantra perfectly Deva? Longing of every moment is that mental comprehension becomes
understanding and experience....if the practice is not to perfection with grace how can one get there?
I pray...Deva...that there is a cosmic wish behind this strong intense feel...

Deva:
Just follow the path dear.. Do not think too much.. As every moment comes take it . There is no perfect path for
anything.

Chat 48 Forgetting the Obvious

me: Deva, can I ask a quick thing...I forget obvious things, like names, numbers, names of veg etc, I just forget what it
is and take time to recollect...
Deva: signs of changes which you shouldnt encourage, dear you should focus and effortlessly concentrate
me: what is effortlessly concentrating...
me: what made me forget a brinjal is called so, I know this vegetable for so long....
me: Deva, another thing is the dreams, I can see monks / sages, dont know them, they speak to me but I fail to hear
and I am jolted - then sleep is gone...this keeps happening so asked...
Deva: the dreams are fine, because you still have not gained the ability of pashyanti and para vani. Effortlessly
concentrating means, you should not alarm yourself when you forget something, just try to remember calmly
me: oh ok...yes I was alarmed...
Deva: this is why I asked to re read Aghora because I have captured the relevance of the vani there
me: will read it again...
The Dialogue
42
Deva: Most people comment that every time they read the treatise, they get a more advanced and different view
than previous reads
me: true, in my case many things happened when I re read...
Deva: you are dismissed

Chat 49 Blur Vision

me: Deva, eyesight blurs...
Deva: you need a check up to find whether everything is fine with ayurvedic physician
me: do i say vision becomes hazy? at times...
Deva: yes, they can find if there are any medical reasons for the same
Because sometimes changes in system may be a little hard on body to cope up with
me: one more thing, if I speak or make a sound, the whole body vibrates inside...
Deva: that is fine
me: right now I am having too much of this blur vision since I saw a few paintings in the morning...
Deva: that is fine. Is the colors in the paintings move also when u focus?
me: yes color move, new images form...dimension changes...
Deva: nice
me: all blurs out and rest is all blur now even plain text...
http://jeanletschert.com/jean/browse/galleries/page/819.html just stumbled on these paintings...
and when I saw them, this happened and its blur even now...
me: this is not the first time, it keeps happening, but it goes away, today its not going...its still there..
Deva: now relax, check your physical eye, and then come back to me, you are dismissed dear

Chat 50 The Ineffable

Deva, on Friday afternoon I casually sat on the floor and started repeating the mantra
after some time I could not open my eyes, they were locked. Felt light, intense vibrations were there cant describe it
all...
heard the mantra for two continuous hours before abruptly/ suddenly eyes opened on their own and I felt as if I was
dropped....I came out of it gasping for air ( the feel we get when dropped - that body is heavy...)
The Dialogue
43
It left me with such serene bliss, calm, unusually drunk...never before feel...
Had slight pain in eyes last night been sleeping the whole day today, exhausted, even moving a limb gives the feel -
body is heavy...but daily life went on, was perhaps disoriented to surroundings a little......

Chat 51 The Acknowledgement

me: Deva...
Deva:
Deva: you entered into your first sabeeja samadhi the other day
me:deva...
Deva:
me: Deva, there are only tears since then and such a longing...
Deva: easy, relax dear
Deva: this is just a beginning, so dismissed

Chat 52 Bodily Reactions

me: Deva, today morning suddenly I find nerves swollen and visible...
me: so many of them under skin surface are swollen, pain in lower back, legs and the exhaustion since 2 days
Deva: after the event?
me: yes
Deva: you visited a doctor also after that
me: no visited before that on thursday deva
Deva: then once again you visit a doctor and keep me updated because the event that happened is very taxing to the
nervous system
me: do I say to doc the swelling and pain?
Deva: you have a general checkup and specifically asked mention it
me: ok
me: I wonder why send me to doctor Deva?
Deva: dismissed
The Dialogue
44
me: Deva, update: visited doc, doc says everything is normal. checked bp, eyes, pulse, palms, temperature
etc...The doc said - I look active and normal...
Deva: thats fine
me: ok...

The journey continues

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