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Kari Saechao
Professor Vana DerOhanessian
English 114b
6 May 2014
Be In Charge Of Your Own Happiness
Growing up and becoming an adult can force someone to take up several responsibilities.
When one thinks about responsibilities of an adult, the obvious ones are bills, finding a job, and
building a home. One responsibility most people forget to think about is the responsibility to
make yourself happy. With growing up, people become busier and may not have time to evaluate
their self-being. To become someone who is happy, one should let go of the people who bring
negativity into his or her life. From there, it will be easier to shape their thoughts into positive
pathways, turning even unfortunate situations into learning experiences. Then, one should make
sure to make time for him or herself. Young adults are responsible for their own happiness
because they are the ones in control of their emotions.
The people you surround yourself with can have a big impact on your daily life, which is
why it is important to be around friends who create a positive energy. When one associates with
others who always have a negative outlook on things, their pessimistic ways will spread to the
other like a contagion. This then causes a halt on their road to happiness. Being around negative
people only makes you stress and will prevent you from being the happy person you are trying to
be. According to an alternative healer named Diane Curriden, not only does being around
negativity cause stress; it multiplies bad feelings and tends to bring others down (2). Letting go
of the negativity is one example of taking control of your emotions. Rather than being around
someone who is never happy or can only see the negative side of things, surround yourself with
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someone who is joyful and can make the best of any situation. By doing so, it can help guide you
to be the young optimistic adult you are striving to become.
When a young adult comes across an unfortunate situation, they have the choice to let it
ruin their day or simply learn from it. As someone who is seeking to take control of his or her
happiness, he or she should see the situation as a learning opportunity. Take control of the bad
situation and tell themselves that a great lesson is waiting to be discovered. They should
appreciate the hardship because from it, the same mistake will not be made. When someone is
open to learn from a mistake, they are able to learn new things about life. In an article from Pick
Your Brain, Tejvan Pettinger writes, Mistakes are opportunities to learn and are a useful
steppingstone to a better outlook on life (1). By allowing mistakes to be a learning tool, one
can grow as a person and self improve. In another article by Alina Tungend, she states that from
mistakes, people gain insight and learn to be humble (2). Admitting and accepting these poor
situations or mistakes are good for the human body and mind because they help people learn to
become better. In order to be someone who is happy, one needs to see an unfortunate situation as
a learning experience.
One important aspect of happiness that is easily forgotten is making time for yourself.
Growing up and becoming a young adult, you realize that almost all of your time is invested into
school, work, and most of the time catering to others. According to Dr. Aymee Coget, when you
take time to put yourself first, you can design a life where your happiness is your foundation
(3). It is important to remember that you matter too. Whether it is just a few minutes or a few
hours, making time for yourself can ensure happiness. When one finds alone time, he or she can
relax or re-kindle an old hobby. By relaxing, they are able to escape from the mid-terms or the
horrible boss and focus to themselves.
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Although there are believers of self-happiness, the ones who do think that people have
control of their own emotions including happiness, there are also the nonbelievers, the ones who
say people have no control over their emotions. They believe that people have no control over
emotions because you cannot physically control what happens in the Prefrontal Cortex of the
brain, where our emotions begin. According to Dr. Jeremy Sherman, there is the No Control
Theory that states, You feel what you feel and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it
(2). For believers, there is the Total Control Theory, where you can tell yourself to Stop feeling
X, and you can. It is within your power to do so (1). Believers also feel that meditation allows
one to control their emotions and those who meditate are in fact, happier. In a study done in 2005
at UCLA, researchers found that those who meditate are happier and have a thicker prefrontal
cortex. Therefore, they had a greater ability to control their emotions than those who did not
meditate.
Becoming someone who is happy with life is not something one can do overnight. It
takes time and practice to get to the happiest state one can be. First, one should surround
themselves with people who are happy so their joy can wear onto you. Next, see an unfortunate
event or mistake as something great because from these mistakes, you become a better person.
Lastly, take a few minutes or hours out of the day for to relax or to pick up an old hobby. Having
more responsibilities and less time comes along with becoming an adult, which is why it is your
own duty to make time for yourself to ensure happiness.




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Works Cited
Coget, Aymee, Dr. "Increase Your Happiness by Making Time for Yourself." Life Well Lived.
Life Well Lived, n.d. Web. 12 Mar. 2014.
Curriden, Diane. Welcome! Santa Ynez Valley News. N.p., 12 Mar. 2013. Web. 16 Feb. 2014.
Tugen, Alina. You Need to Make Mistakes to Get Ahead. CNN. Cable News Network, 02
Aug. 2011. Web. 12 Mar. 2014
Pettinger, Tejvan. "How to Learn from Mistakes." Pick the Brain Motivation and Self
Improvement. N.p., 15 Nov. 2007. Web. 12 Mar. 2014.
Sherman, Jeremy, Dr. "Ambigamy." Total Control vs. No Control Theory of Emotions: Can You
Control Your Emotions or Not? N.p., 13 June 2010. Web. 12 Mar. 2014.
Understanding Human Emotions and Managing Emotions. Understanding Human MEotions
and Managing Emotions. N.p., n.d. Web. 16. Feb. 2014.