Villagomez 1

Juliette Villagomez
Miss Koblinksi
English 101-37091
12 March, 2014
The Goal Is Envy

If you have ever felt overwhelmed by insecurity, hatred, or irrational rage, you were
most likely experiencing envy, one of the most fabulous of emotions.What is envy? It is one of
the syndromes of thoughts and what makes one feel incompetent (DArms, Justin). You may
ask yourself, How can I evoke this feeling again? Well, for the novices out there, here you will
learn to achieve a fulfilled state of envy by completing the three following steps: observe or
recall a situation that made you feel extraneous, do not take any action but instead over-analyze
the situation, and repeat until you have reached a breaking point of frustration.

Step 1: Develop a liking for something or someone else you do not already have. By
doing so, you make yourself more susceptible to feeling anger, leading you closer to the desired
state of envy. However, we must pause this session for a few moments: ATTENTION! Before
going any further, make note that envy is not jealousy. Acting jealous while trying to be
envious is unacceptable; doing so would be an ignominy to this cause. The idea that envy is
equal to jealousy is a fallacy for the following reasons: while jealousy involves three characters
the subject, the rival, and the beloved, envy only involves two: the subject and the rival
(DArms). Therefore, you must not confuse the two or you risk the feasibility of this process.

Step 2: Over-think, over-think, and OVER-THINK! By doing so, you make the situation
appear to be at least ninety times worse than it really is. This allows the envy to grow even
stronger and therefore, more irrational than before. Remember that some believe Envy is when
youre upset about something that you probably dont need to be upset about, and over-
thinking makes you extremely upset that sometimes it is unbearable (Kulesha). Therefore, if you
truly want to accomplish this you must over-analyze your situation to the point where it
consumes your mind and day.

Step 3: Keep observing the one you love with someone else or viewing the fact that
someone else has what you have always wanted until you reach a breaking point that makes you
bitter. Grimace, cry, and embrace the distress to accomplish being envious. Perhaps one could
even try to make the rival envious by embracing in something or someone they do not have.
Now, while making the envy reciprocal, both parties may drown in the emotion, making the
situation more fair for the proposer. Neither of the characters got what he/she wanted, but at least
now you both are sulking.

Congratulations! You have reached the end and you are now and accomplished envier.
Take a moment to extol yourself for the hard work endured. Feel free to continue to use this
process, for it is inevitable that there will be another situation in which you may become envious.
Just remember the three simple steps once again and youll be good to go! When you do, keep in
mind the goal is envy not jealousy. Now exult because you have succeeded in being envious!




Villagomez 2

Works Cited:
D'Arms, Justin, "Envy", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Winter 2013 Edition),
Edward N.
Zalta (ed.). 18 December, 2002. Web. 8 March, 2014.
Kulesha, Preston. What Does Envious Mean To You?. 26 February, 2014.

Key:
Thesis
Quote
Paraphrase

Attention

Some Believe

Vocabulary