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1.

Quality of the writing
Quality of the writing in the paper that is considered, although not exceptional, is fairly good.
Provided with arguments in every part is an indication that structure had been pre-planned
well before start writing. Another thing is the writing style and use of words which is
essential for explaining a concept to the reader. In the paper, use of words depicts a pattern
and provides useful explanations of every particular concept but it can be improved further.
For example, while explaining pricing of Mars candy bar, it is rather confusing to draw a
conclusion regarding the factors that affect the consumer behavior in the target segment.
Similarly, in Target market table the confusion can occur by taking the target market as one
regardless of their educational and environmental differences and in another part, targeting
each segment by different campaigns.
If we talk about the arguments used in the writing, we could clearly observe that arguments
quality can be improved further. There is no referencing under many headings i.e.
Segmentation explanation, Target market table and also in other parts which makes the
argument weak. Although writer has conveyed the reasons behind the change in promotional
campaign during the past decade but it can be improved further by explaining the current
theme and comparison of that with the previous one.
2. If reference style is done right?
Referencing style used is Chicago referencing both in text and in end list. It is done rightly
throughout the paper but one suggestion is that number of references can be increased
further. In text citation should use a comma between the name of the author and year while
reference list page is appropriate as required. Total eight references are used in section 1
while section 2 has three references from different resources. Other parts of the paper are not
marked with any references specially the Target Market table provided at the end.
Quality of the references used in the writing can be characterized as good one throughout,
with some of the scholarly articles, news websites, research journals and general websites.
Generally, a source from which the material has been collected enhances the quality of the
argument further and it has been an important part of the research as well. Sources should
also be reliable and authentic for using them as a proper reference material. They should also
be analyzed well before using them in any study.
3. If it's written per the requirement?
By considering the template given as a standard, the paper lacks a bit in fulfilling a few
requirements. First of all, font used is not of the size 12. Line spacing is rightly done as 1.5
and single spacing in table. While there is not a problem in choosing the style of the font i.e.
Times New Roman is used in all other sections except for the tables where Calibri with size
of 11 is used. Moreover, report comprises of total 14 pages which lacks the actual standard
given to be fulfilled. Therefore, report mechanics needs improvement in some of the areas.
Business style report format has been followed very well throughout with the use of
appropriate language and English expression. Reasons behind an argument have been
explained with respect to the right format. Style and language of the report are rather
convincing and influential. Grammatical errors should be made corrected wherever pointed
out.
In addition, total number of pages and the limit of the space are not followed as much in the
report. One page is allocated per heading for the analysis of elements of marketing mix
(Product, Price, Promotion and Distribution) but it falls off the standard provided in the
template. However, all other parts have been written by following the requirements.
Moreover, all the requirements regarding the content and specifications to provide the asked
material have been almost correctly followed in the paper. Sequencing is well structured and
thoughts are broken down in a right order. Overall, it can be characterized as fairly good
written paper in terms of pursuing requirements.
4. If we ask you to rate this paper, how will you rate it? Is it a good or pass grade
paper, and a fail grade paper?
By considering all the points mentioned above, this paper can be rated as average to good. It
is, indeed, above average but lacks the quality to be considered as exceptional. Some of the
areas of report has been well structured and well thought but few are written in a confusing
manner. For example, while explaining pricing, the second paragraph is a bit confusing as it
does not clearly point out what are the actual factors that are considered when a consumer is
making a purchase decision of chocolate candy bar.
In addition to the argument quality, the use of words lacks a clear thought and reasoning.
Target Market Table specially needs improvement in this regard. Competitors pricing is also
mentioned in the exemplar report but writing under consideration lacks it. Similarly,
exemplar report also contains in depth analysis of ads for the product but ads analysis is not
found in this writing.
On the other side, referencing has been done quite well while arguments written for the
elements of marketing mix also do a good job in explaining the context. Therefore, by
considering all of these points, we can say that although report has not been written
exceptionally well yet it fall in the category of medium to fairly good for the purpose of
rating.