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Transactional Analysis Journal
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DOI: 10.1177/036215377200200407
1972 2: 15 Transactional Analysis Journal
Valerie Lankford
Rapid Identification of Symbiosis

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- Oct 1, 1972 Version of Record >>

by Nicoleta Corlan on April 28, 2014 tax.sagepub.com Downloaded from by Nicoleta Corlan on April 28, 2014 tax.sagepub.com Downloaded from
165
RAPID I DENTIFICATION OF SYMBIOSIS
VALERIE LANKFORD, M.A.
Rapid identification of how a
person is dependent or promotes
others' dependency on him can lead
to faster cures. I have found this
identification stimulated in groups
where there is at least one married
couple. Having both "horses'
mouths" present makes vivid the
contradictions, mind reading, and
grandiosity that has to stop if
autonomy is the goal. Emphasizing
the "singleness" of each married
person helps each take
responsibility for saying what he
means and checking out what he is
not sure of. Likewise, the single
people have an on the spot
demonstration of how to check out
what's going on in a relationship.
They are then asked to either "put
up or shut up"; stop playing "Why
Does This Always Happen to Me"
or "If It Weren't For You" and get
straight information outside the
group about their dependency
relationships.
One way people try to get others
to take care of them is by giving
half information and expecting the
other person to know what is
meant. Examples are saying
someone's name who is not in the
group nor talked about before, thus
putting others in the position' of
having to ask or discount what the
person is saying: "Joe really put me
down." "Who's Joe?"
Another indication of symbiosis
is forgetting things. The first time a
Transactional Anal.lII: 4. October 1972
person forgets something I have
found it profitable to check out the
reason why that particular item was
forgotten or lost at that particular
moment. When a teacher wanted to
stay Child and chat, she "forgot"
her keys in another's class. A wife
wanted her husband to mind read
that she was angry about having to
do his unexpected, extra laundry
but didn't want to directly tell him
her feelings, so instead she "lost"
her glasses that would cost him
some additional money to replace.
Her Child was "showing his
Parent. "
Much of symbiotic behavior is
demonstrated subtlely. It is
important for the therapist to be
aware of what the patient is not
doing as well as what he is doing to
cure inadequacy problems that
support symbiosis.
Rescuer's Checkout
Application of Karpman's
Triangle I and Schiffs' discounting
and passivity material" has shortcut
my use of therapeutic interventions
to stop games. Particular successes
have resulted from confronting the
Rescuer role first to check out
symbiosis within relationships so
that each person takes
res ponsibility. I suggest this
"Rescuer's Checkout" as an aid.
Both CHECKOUTS No.1 and No.
2 are used with couples.
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166
VALERIE LANKFORD, M.A.
RESCUER'S CHECKOUT NO.1
Frequently Sometimes I nfrequentl
1. Do you need to seeto it that X is happy?
2. Do you know how X feels without asking?
3. Do you do job, chore, or project if X is unsure or
uncomfortable doing it?
4. Do you take responsibility to fill need of X when
he or she says "I need something" but doesn't
ask for it directly?
5. Do you talk about X's problems with other in his
or her presence when X could?
6. Do you foresee the needs of X?
7. Do you feel more needed if X is sick or tired?
8. Do you interrupt when X is talking?
9. Do you answer questions addressed to X?
10. Do you not do things or not go places you would
like because X wouldn't like?
11. Do you state limits you don't follow through on
or make false threats?
12. Do you make excuses for X?
13. Do you think X cannot get along without you?
14.* Do you think you should have an orgasm so X
won't be disappointed?
15.* Would you be unable to enjoy sexual intercourse
if X did not have an orgasm?
*Numbers 14 and 15 apply only to sexual relationships.
A number of checks under "Frequently" indicates Rescuer role,
"Sometimes" indicates some rescuing.
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Transactional Anal. J. II:4, October 1972 by Nicoleta Corlan on April 28, 2014 tax.sagepub.com Downloaded from
167
RAPIDIDENTIFICATION OF SYMBIOSIS
RESCUER'S CHECKOUT NO.2
Frequently Sometimes I nfrequentlv
1. Does X think X needs to seeto it that you are happy?
2. Does X think X knows how you feel without asking?
3. Does X do job, chore, or project if you are unsure or
uncomfortable doing it?
4. Does X take responsibility to fill need of yours if you
say "I need something" but don't ask for it directly?
5. Does X talk about your problems in others' presence
when you are there and could yourself?
6. Does X foresee needs of yours?
7. Does X give you more attention if you are sick or
tired?
8. Does X interrupt when you are talking?
9. Does X answer questions addressed to you?
10. Does X not do things or not go places because you
wouldn't like it if X did?
11. Does X state limits or make threats not followed
through on?
12. Does X make excuses for you?
13. Does X think and say X cannot get along without you?
14. Does X think and say you couldn't get along without
X?
15.* Does X communicate X feels bad and is unable to enjoy
sexual intercourse if you don't have ar orgasm?
*Number 15 applies only to sexual relationships.
REFERENCES
I James and Jongeward,Born to Win p. 81
2 Schiff, A. and Schiff, J. "Discounting and
Passivity" T.A.J. Jan '70 p. 71-.
Acknowledgement: jacqui Schiff for
consultation and critical review.
Valerie Lankford has a private practice and is
Clinical Director of the Baltimore
Seminar-BALTAS.
Transactional Anal. J. II:4, October 1972
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