Dolores Rocha

Mrs. Crichton
AP English Language Period 5
2 December 2013
Draft Two: Same Author, Different Stories
Jon Krakauer's book Into Thin Air and Where Men Win Glory both have very distinctive
and similar writing styles and formats, however the purpose for writing both books was different.
Into Thin Air was for Krakauer to come to terms with any guilt or sadness he felt during his
expedition, while the purpose for Where Men Win Glory was simply to share the story of Pat
Tillman. Nevertheless, both novels leave a huge impact on readers depicting how short life can
be.
While reading both books at the same time, the approach Krakauer uses is noticeably
different. In Into Thin Air, Krakauers point of view is in the first person, where as Where Men
Win Glory is in the third person. For instance, in chapter one of Into Thin Air, Krakauers first
sentence states ...I cleared the ice from my oxygen mask(page7) immediately portraying
himself as the main character. While the first chapter of Where Men Win Glory, starts with
During Pat Tillmans stint in the army(page 3) depicting Pat Tillman as the main character.
These different points of view help influence the impact on the reader at the end of the novels.
Another difference between both of the books is the format they are written in. Into Thin Air is
separated into chapters and each chapter describes a different day throughout the expedition of
Mt. Everest. Making the book feel like Krakauers journal, especially since each chapter has it's
own date and is in first person. Although, Where Men Win Glory is also separated into chapters,
it is dispersed into five parts and appears to be more story-like with a beginning, middle, and end
to outline Pat Tillmans life and to explain how the war began. Even though both of these books
are contrasting, they still share similarities to show readers that Krakauer wrote both books,
although they are about different scenarios.
A reader can distinguish an author's book by their writing technique. In Krakauers books
it is easy to distinguish his writings, because of his use of dashes to add extra information.
Throughout the entire stories, in both books, it is apparent that Krakauer utilizes these dashes.
Whether it is to list the names of people involved, ..-Osama Bin Laden, Mullah Mohammed
Omar, and Jalaluddin Haqqani..(Krakauer, Where Men Win Glory, page 150) or to add a
suspenseful tone at the end of a paragraph, ..-as if none of us dared to acknowledge what was at
stake here.(Krakauer, Into Thin Air, page 111). The use of these dashes connects the reader with
the author, becase it feels like they are following his train of thought as he writes each story.
Another similarity between both books is their sentence variety. Throughout both of the stories
Krakauer uses a variety of short and long sentences to add suspense or to emphasize a point. For
instance, in Into Thin Air Krakauer uses a variety of short sentences to emphasize the pain and
suffrage the climbers are going through, Her eyes were dilated. The skin on her face was the
color of white porcelain. (page 260, Into Thin Air) here Krakauer is emphasizing the way the
climber looked when they found her lying in the snow. In Where Men Win Glory the sentence
variety was used to demonstrate the suspense in a football game that Tillman played or when he
made his decision to join the army. This didnt sit well with Pat. (page 155) , here the readers
sense a suspenseful tone that Pat Tillman wanted to act on his actions on joining the army after
9/11, unlike other football players. The use of dashes and sentence variety helped Krakauer
develop an impact on the reader.
With both books involving death, the impact on the reader is clear. After reading these
books, Into Thin Air and Where Men Win Glory the reader definitely notices how short life can
be and that at any moment it can be taken away. Especially since the involvement of death is
common in these novels. In Into Thin Air it can be overwhelming for the reader to learn about so
many deaths and the struggles those people went through. By depicting his own life especially
helps Krakauer to leave an impact on readers at the end of his book. In Into Thin Air, climbers
with years of experience died in this expedition on Mt. Everest. Showing that it does not matter
how much experience you have, anything can happen. Not only did people die, but it was the
worst number of deaths that year. In Where Men Win Glory, the reader already knows the
outcome of the story. But when the reader approaches the end of the books it still seems unreal
that Tillman dies. Because throughout the whole story he puts himself in the most dangerous
situations and does not injure himself. Also since the novel is written as a story, the reader
almost forgets that it is a true story and is saddened by the ending especially since the reader has
grown attached to the main character like in any other story.
Ranging from points of view to the way it is formatted or being similar in the use of
dashes and sentence variety it is undeniable that both of these books, Into Thin Air and Where
Men Win Glory, are different. Along with having a different purpose in writing both of these
novels, they come together in the end to deliver the same impact on the reader through stories of
real people.
Word Count: 922
Comparison and Contrast Essay Scoring Rubric:
Superior Strong Adequate Developing Very weak Incompetent
Quality and
clarity of
thought
Explores the
topic
thoughtfully
and in depth
Shows some
depth and
complexity of
thought
May treat
the topic
simplistically
or
repetitively
Lacks focus,
or
demonstrates
confused or
simplistic
thinking
Lacks focus
and
coherence,
and often
fails to
communicate
ideas
Unfocused,
illogical, or
incoherent
Diction Uses concrete
and concise
diction
Uses many
vivid verbs
and concrete
nouns
Uses some
vivid verbs
and concrete
nouns
Uses a few
vivid verbs
and concrete
nouns
Diction is not
concise and
concrete
Little or no
thought given
to word
choice
Syntax Successful
use of
sentence
variety and
parallelism
Good use of
sentence
variety and
parallelism
Use of
sentence
variety and
parallelism
Uses some
parallelism,
but has
trouble using
good
sentence
variety
Sentences
contain
simplistic
structure and
little
parallelism
Sentences are
incomplete or
not structured
Organization Coherently
organized
Well-
organized
Adequately
organized
Poorly
organized
Weak
organization
Disorganized
Support Ideas
supported by
apt reasons
and well-
chosen
examples
Ideas
supported by
appropriate
reasons and
examples
Adequately
developed
Presents
generalizatio
ns w/o
adequate
support or
presents
details w/o
generalizatio
ns
Provides
simplistic
generalization
s without
support
Provides little
or no relevant
support
MLA format
and citation
Uses MLA
format and
citation at a
professional
level
Uses MLA
format and
citation
Little
formatting or
citation errors
Attempts to
use MLA
format and
citation
(with some
errors)
Problems
with format
and citation
Not typed in
MLA format;
sources are
not cited
Figurative
language and
voice
Makes
sophisticated
use of
figurative
language to
create strong
Makes strong
use of
figurative
language to
create
personal
Makes use of
figurative
language to
create voice
Attempts to
use
figurative
language to
create voice
Uses little
figurative
language;
lacks
personal
voice
No figurative
language; no
personal
voice
personal
voice
voice