of friends until one moves away.

These frienship are not deep but are based upon

shared daily experiences. Many Americans, in general, do have enduring
friendship, but at certain points in their lives can be satisfied with transient
relationship. In cultures where people have only lifetime friends (in part because
they do not move from city to city), these temporary relationships are hard to
understand. But many Americans move so often that learning to make friends
quickly become a necessary survival skill.
Cross cultural frienship
One of the most frequent problems in cross-cultural relationships is that foreigners
misinterpret American friendliness as an offer of friendship. Naturally, a foreigner
who thinks that an American is extending friendship will have expectations for the
friendship. When the American is unaware of these expectations, or is unwilling
to be a true friend (because all the American intended was a friendly but
superficial relationship), the foreigner or newcomer in the States can become
disappointed.
On the surface, when Americans are being friendly, it may seem that they are
initiating a friendship. It is useful for foreign students, visitors, and immigrants to
know that Amerians can actually be shy in interaction with foreigners. This is
partly due to the Americans linguistic and geographic isolation, especially in
parts of the United States without diverse populations. In general, it is advisable to
approach American first to initiate friendship. Some Aemrican will want to go
beyond a superficial friendship, depending on wether they have the time to make
the commitment. One foreign student, having lived in US for seeral years, said
that the most importan advice he could give to newcomers would be: dont be
passive when it comes to making friends with Americans. Begin conversation,
extend invitations, and make first move.
Cross-Cultural Expectations for Friendship
Expectations for personal relationships differ greatly across cultures. It's important
to know that while most Americans value close friendships, they also value
privacy and independence. From an American perspective, to have privacy or to
give someone privacy is considered positive. Yet, when the word "privacy is
translated into other languages, it has more of a negative meaning (aloneness or
loneliness). Therefore, the Americans need for privacy is sometimes judged
negatively by those who haven't been reared with the value of individualism.
Some Americans are isolated from others because they have taken their
independence and privacy to an extreme. Other simply like spending time alone or
at least having the freedom to avoid socializing if they choose. An Argentinian
explained to his American co-workers that in Argentina he felt pressured to go out
with bis friends on Friday and Saturday nights. In the US, he elt that if he chose to
have a quiet evening at home, no one would ask him, why? Although he missed
his friends from his country, he appreciated the freedom to have more privacy in
US.
In any true friendship, whatever the culture may be, a person is expected to show
interest and concern in a friends serious problems. But how does one show this
across cultures? It is not possible to generalize about Americans because there are
so many varieties of Americans, but it is possible to say that many foreigners or
newcomers from different cultures have felt disappointed by Americans. A
common ocurrence is when an American does not phone or visit as much as the
foreigner expects. If someone from another culture having a serious problem,
American may say, Let me know theres anything I can do to help. If
Americans do not receive specific request, they may feel that there is nothing
they can do. In this case, they may call every now and then to stay in touch. The
friend from a different culture, on the other hand, may be expected sympathy
calls or frequent visits, and may not hesitate to demonstrate a dependence on a
friend. For example, an American woman reported that a friend from middle-east
who was living in the US called her every day when she only had a cold. Many
Americans are uncomfortable when people become too dependent.
In addition, an American may feel that a friend needs privacy to work out" a
problem. Many Americans want time alone when they have problems, so they
want to give you your privacy even if you dont want it!. Then, to different
expectations about the amount of time spent together, there are also cultural
differences in what people believe they should do for each other.
Benefit of cross-cultural contact
Necessery ingredients for a true friendship consist of shared experiences, values,
and interest. Across culture, shared daily experience does not exist,but trough
initial superficial relationship people can discover wether they have shared values
and interest. Even if relationship is superficial or does not go anywhere, the
cross-cultural contact can still be beneficial to both parties and can help break
down isolation and streotypes. The mot obvious benefit to the language learner is
the opportunity for language practice. In addition, the more experience people
have in initiating and responding to relationship, wether transient or permanent,
superficial or deep the more clus they will have to understand the deep cuture in
which they live.
Without experience of encountering people in several types of relationship, it is
difficult to learn to become comfortable in the second culture. There is no doubt
that engaging in personal relationship across culture requires more time and effort,
and can be more tiring than doing so with people from ones own culture.
There are benefits to socializing with people from the same culture. When people
have contacted with those similar to background, culture-shock can be lessened. It
is important to have this familiarity when everything else in different. In addition,
individuals can traly relax and be themselves they are with others who share a
common culture and language. However, socializing only with those from the
same country is nt desirable as having the additional cross-cultural contact. Being
involved in relationships across cultures will assist in acculturation and ultimately,
integration into the new society.