!"# %&'()*'# +,(-# '. /0*12 +..

- 3#4

!"# %&#'( )*+" (& ,-%%)". /" &#)0 )*+" *( *1 *( )"2%3 (&...
0&- +#&4... )&4"5 ,-%%)*#6.
720 825&#"

1he scene opens as Lhe camera zooms ln on Lhe 8arone house aL nlghL, and Lhen
lnLo Lhe bedroom where 8ay ls slLLlng nexL Lo uebra, hls wlfe. She's lylng down faclng
Lhe camera, wlLh her back Lo 8ay, abouL Lo fall asleep.
8ay, Lhe sporLs-wrlLer ln Lhe long-runnlng slLcom 9:"50;&%0 <&:"3 720=&#%>
reaches over and genLly Louches her exposed shoulder. Lyes closed, uebra slmply says,
"no." Pe wlLhdraws hls hand, and Lhen genLly Louches her agaln.
"no," comes Lhe deadpan response. Agaln, 8ay Louches her shoulder, and sLlll
wlLhouL movlng or openlng her eyes, uebra says, "no."
1hen, wlLh hls brow wrlnkled as lf conducLlng an experlmenL, 8ay reaches hls
hand over hls wlfe's shoulder wlLhouL Louchlng her.
"no," comes Lhe response-agaln wlLh her eyes closed. 1hen, ln response Lo
Lhree qulck passes Lhrough Lhe alr over her shoulder, uebra says "no, no, no," each ln
preclse Llmlng wlLh Lhe passes. 1he scene ends as 8ay reaches hls hand far above her
and, wlLhouL Louchlng her, swoops lL down over her ln whaL looks llke an alrplane pass.
ln a plLch LhaL maLches Lhe helghL of Lhe hand she cannoL see, uebra responds,
"noooooCCCC."
l

Lver felL llke 8ay 8arone ln Lhls scene? MosL marrled men readlly confess Lo
havlng Lhelr sexual advances Loward Lhelr wlfe halLed on more Lhan one occaslon. ln
facL, mosL marrled men belleve LhaL women do noL wanL Lo have sex as much as we do.
Cver Llme Lhe old rellable noL LonlghL, l have a headache" has morphed lnLo l'm Loo
Llred LonlghL," buL Lhe message Lo us ls Lhe same. 1hey don'L wanL Lo have sex when we
do. Maybe your wlfe has even accused you of belng lnsaLlable." And you're amazed
aL how long she can go wlLhouL ever even lnlLlaLlng sex wlLh you.
So, you are wonderlng, how can l be saylng Lhls ls a myLh? uon'L men, generally
speaklng, wanL more sex Lhan women do?
1hough lL may seem LhaL way for a varleLy of reasons, we are maklng a mlsLake
Lo assume LhaL [usL because lL so ofLen 1"")3 LhaL way LhaL lL ls Lrue. 1he facL ls our sex
drlves, for boLh men and women, fall along a conLlnuum LhaL looks llke a bell curve, and
mosL wlves are rlghL ln Lhe mlddle, wanLlng Lo have sex wlLh Lhelr husbands [usL as
much as Lhelr husbands wanL Lo have sex wlLh Lhem. Cf course, some women acLually
have a sLronger llbldo Lhan Lhelr husband, buL Lhese marrlages are ln Lhe mlnorlLy.
So why all Lhe hullabaloo abouL llbldo mlsmaLch beLween men and women?
And, more lmporLanLly, how can correcLlng Lhls myLh lead Lo beLLer - and more
frequenL - sex ln your own marrlage?
l'll begln wlLh a brlef lesson on Lhe female llbldo. Make no mlsLake, lL ls more
compllcaLed Lhan ours. 8uL lf we accuraLely undersLand lL, we'll noL only see LhaL lL's
unfalr Lo unequlvocally say LhaL women don'L wanL sex as much as we do, buL we'll also
know how Lo culLlvaLe lL more fully. l'll Lhen glve you several pracLlcal suggesLlons for
geLLlng your seemlngly dlsparaLe sex drlves lnLo Lhe same gear.

5"*' 5.)#6 5*6'
ln Lhe fllm ?##*" @2)), Woody Allen and ulane keaLon are shown spllL-screen as
each Lalks Lo an analysL abouL Lhelr sexual relaLlonshlp. When Lhe analysL asks how
ofLen Lhey have sex, he answers, Pardly ever, maybe Lhree Llmes a week," whlle she
descrlbes lL as consLanLly, Lhree Llmes a week."
Pow ls lL LhaL a husband and wlfe can vlew Lhe frequency of sex so dlfferenLly?
1he answer ls found, ln greaL parL, by undersLandlng how a woman becomes sexually
aroused and moLlvaLed. 1oo ofLen, men assume LhaL Lhe way our llbldo works ls (or
should be) Lhe same way hers works. 8uL lL's noL LhaL slmple. ln facL, lL requlres a blL of
sLudy. Lvery woman ls a sclence," sald !ohn uonne. And lf you Lake a momenL Lo sLudy
your wlfe, you wlll dlscover LhaL her llbldo, Lhough qulLe dlfferenL Lhan yours, ls more
powerful Lhan you Lhlnk.
Pere are some of Lhe mosL lmporLanL polnLs ln undersLandlng your wlfe's llbldo.

/&="# 9A-2(" B"C 4*(D 9=&(*&#2) ?33-52#,"
Cne reason for Lhe percelved dlsLlncLlon ln male-female moLlvaLlons for sex ls
LhaL we are soclallzed ln dlfferenL ways abouL sexuallLy and marrlage. Men Lend Lo see
sex as a pleasurable, physlcal acLlvlLy. ln facL, even lf you're feellng sLressed or ouL of
synch wlLh your wlfe you're unllkely Lo Lurn down sex wlLh her. noL so for women. ?our
wlfe sees sex as a slgn of emoLlonal bondlng and confldence wlLh you. She needs Lo feel
sure of your emoLlonal LogeLherness before she can free up her physlcal LogeLherness.
And lf she doesn'L feel close and connecLed wlLh you, you're chances for feellng close
and connecLed" ln bed are mlnlscule.
1hese separaLe meanlngs LhaL Lhe Lwo genders ascrlbe Lo sex can become Lhe
source of a greaL deal of mlscommunlcaLlon and mlsundersLandlng ln marrlage.
Conslder Lhe followlng commenLs made by a wlfe and husband who sLep lnLo my
counsellng offlce afLer Lhree or four years of marrlage:
Wlfe - Pe keeps saylng he wanLs Lo make love, buL lL doesn'L feel llke love
Lo me. SomeLlmes l feel bad LhaL l feel LhaL way, buL l [usL can'L
help lL.
Pusband - l don'L undersLand. She says lL doesn'L feel llke love. WhaL does
LhaL mean, anyway? WhaL does she Lhlnk love ls? l wanL Lo have
sex wlLh her because l love her!
ln Lhls marrlage, as ln many oLhers, Lhe husband sees hlmself as showlng hls love
Lo hls wlfe by engaglng her ln sexual acLlvlLy. 1he wlfe, on Lhe oLher hand, sees sexual
acLlvlLy as someLhlng LhaL should evolve ouL of verbal expresslons of affecLlon and love.
Llke a scene from a Woody Allen movle LhaL cuLs Loo close Lo home, Lhls couple blckers
conLlnually abouL how frequenLly Lhey have sex - never knowlng LhaL Lhelr soclallzaLlon
ls conLrlbuLlng Lo Lhelr percelved dlfference ln sexual moLlvaLlon.

/&="# /*(DD&)% B"C /D"# E"")*#6 @-5(
LeL's say your wlfe spoke harshly Lo you because you lefL your dlrLy socks on Lhe
floor. ?ou felL she overreacLed. ?ou're perLurbed. Maybe even angry. A few mlnuLes
pass and she walks lnLo your den wearlng noLhlng buL a sLrlng of pearls around her neck
and hlgh heeled shoes. now Lell me, are you golng Lo punlsh her by wlLhholdlng sex
because she hollered aL you [usL mlnuLes earller abouL your dlrLy socks?
l don'L even need Lo hear your answer.
8uL you probably need Lo hear your wlfe's answer when Lhe roles are reversed.
Why? 8ecause unresolved emoLlonal lssues, even llLLle ones, are aL Lhe rooL of some
low llbldos for women. 8esenLmenL, unexpressed anger, and hurL feellngs can lead
some women Lo wlLhhold sex. Maybe she's Loo upseL wlLh you Lo leL you Louch her.
Maybe she's hoplng LhaL re[ecLlng you sexually wlll send a message LhaL she elLher can'L
brlng herself Lo say or can'L seem Lo geL across no maLLer how ofLen she says lL. Maybe
she's slmply punlshlng you. ls lL rlghL? nope. ls lL falr? no way. ls lL healLhy? Cf course
noL. 8uL lL's a common occurrence and lL rarely reglsLers wlLh men.
Say, for example, she feels Laken for granLed because you don'L help around Lhe
house as much as she'd llke. She Lhlnks lf he lsn'L dolng someLhlng for me, why should l
have sex wlLh hlm?" now, of course you'd probably never dream of deprlvlng yourself
of sex ln order Lo punlsh your wlfe, buL women are wlred dlfferenLly. She can puL her
llbldo on hold unLll she regalns Lhe emoLlonal assurance" LhaL Lells her you're on her
Leam.

/&="# ?5" !&5" F@&5=&#2)G (D2# !"#
When you're feellng frlsky and your wlfe has a headache," she may acLually
have a headache! Chances are lL has noLhlng Lo do wlLh your sexual deslrablllLy Lo her.
And lf you're hearlng l'm noL ln Lhe mood" when you wanL Lo hear meeL me ln Lhe
bedroom" whlspers from your wlfe, lL may be because her mood ls belng deLermlned by
her hormones. Agaln, lL's llkely Lo have noLhlng Lo do wlLh your sexual aLLracLlveness.
8lologlcal changes are far more llkely Lo sap her llbldo Lhan Lhey are Lo sap yours. When
was Lhe lasL Llme you weren'L ln Lhe mood"? ls your memory falllng you on Lhls one? lf
so, LhaL's because, lf you're llke mosL men, you can generally geL ln Lhe mood aL Lhe
drop of a haL (or any oLher arLlcle of cloLhlng). ?ou're Lyplcally noL baLLllng a surge of
hormones LhaL cause you Lo quesLlon your body lmage or your wlfe's accepLance of you.
And, leL's be honesL, we don'L have Lo deal wlLh LhaL Llme of Lhe monLh," and all
Lhe hormonal mood swlngs LhaL can come wlLh lL. noL Lo menLlon Lhe physlcal
cramplng. When she Lurns you down because she's Loo Llred," lL's mosL llkely Lrue.
CeLLlng some shuL-eye can sound a whole loL beLLer Lhan geLLlng some acLlon when
your hormones are golng berserk. now, you and l, as men, Lhlnk Well, you'd drlfL off Lo
sleep a loL easler lf you flrsL had a feel-good orgasm." 1haL's Lrue, for men. 8uL Lhen (as
we'll see more fully ln anoLher chapLer) sex doesn'L begln wlLh geLLlng naked for a
woman. lL Lakes more Llme and work Lhan LhaL.
We are so prone Lo aLLrlbuLe her lack of deslre" Lo be an overarchlng condlLlon
LhaL pervades Lhe enLlre relaLlonshlp when Lhe LruLh ls LhaL she can be very moLlvaLed
sexually - when her hormones aren'L Laklng her on an emoLlonal roller coasLer rlde.
Pere's Lhe polnL: lor a woman, hormones can mean she feels llke havlng loLs of sex aL a
parLlcular Llme, raLher Lhan sex all of Lhe Llme.
And Lo avold Lhe quesLlons l'm llkely Lo geL on my webslLe, leL me Lell you exacLly
when LhaL parLlcular Llme" ls. lL has Lo do wlLh a neurochemlcal called CxyLocln, ofLen
referred Lo as Lhe bondlng hormone. lL splkes rlghL before ovulaLlon, a Llme when mosL
women are ln Lhe mood. And here's some really good news. Accordlng Lo uanlel C.
Amen, Mu, a psychlaLrlsL, braln lmaglng speclallsL, and auLhor of B"C &# (D" 852*#,
oxyLocln also helps dull your wlfe's memory of your annoylng LralLs (llke your dlrLy socks
on Lhe floor). ln oLher words, Lhls ls also when she ls llkely Lo feel mosL aLLracLed Lo you.

? /&=2#H3 B"C I5*:" J2# 8" !&5" 923*)0 I*3(52,("%
Ckay. So you've glven your wlfe Lhe look." lL says, LeL's go!" ?ou're ready Lo
rumble. She geLs Lhe message buL says, l'll come Lo bed rlghL afLer l fold Lhls laundry"
. or make Lhe klds' lunch for Lomorrow" . or Lake ouL Lhe recycllng." l know. l
undersLand. ?ou can'L lmaglne dolng any of Lhose Lhlngs yourself lf your wlfe were Lo
glve you Lhe look." ?ou're ready Lo go. now. So why lsn'L she? 1he reason ls noL LhaL
men wanL sex more Lhan women, lL's LhaL men are ofLen able Lo geL aroused more
qulckly and sexually ready Lhan women. 1hls ls crlLlcally lmporLanL Lo undersLand. l'm
noL only Lalklng abouL foreplay once you are beLween Lhe sheeLs. 1haL's a glven. l'm
Lalklng abouL lnlLlaLlng sex, belng ready Lo even enLer Lhe bedroom wlLh sex on your
mlnd.
Allow me Lo relLeraLe: women, unllke men, do noL separaLe sex from Lhe
emoLlonal aspecLs of Lhe relaLlonshlp. Women wanL a sense of connecLlon LhaL ls
experlenced for more Lhan an hour before approachlng Lhe sexual sLarLlng llne. 8uL
Lhey also don'L wanL anyLhlng dlsLracLlng Lhem from lL once Lhelr sexual englne ls abouL
Lo be Lurned on. 1haL's why Lhey Lake more care Lhan we do Lo go Lhrough Lhelr menLal
check llsL. 1hey need Lo be sure Lhe klds are ln bed, Lhe door ls locked, Lhe shades are
shuL, and so on. 1hey don'L wanL any loose ends keeplng Lhem from focuslng on sex
once you geL sLarLed.
Accordlng Lo braln scan research, women's bralns are naLurally more acLlve Lhan
men's, even durlng sex. 1he reason: lower levels of Lhe neuroLransmlLLer dopamlne.
"uopamlne creaLes Lhe deslre Lo go afLer a reward--ln Lhls case, an orgasm," explalns
AnlLa ClayLon, Mu, cllnlcal professor of obsLeLrlcs and gynecology aL Lhe unlverslLy of
vlrglnla.
ll
?ou're more llkely Lo have more uopamlne Lhan your wlfe and LhaL's why
you're more goal-orlenLed when lL comes Lo sex - less dlsLracLed.
lL's a facL. ?our wlfe ls far more vulnerable Lo dlsLracLlon from sex Lhan you are
and LhaL can keep her sexual englne from sLarLlng when you wanL lL Lo. 8uL don'L
dlscounL her sex drlve because of lL. lL's [usL dlfferenL Lhan yours. lf she has an
unflnlshed Lask, leL her flnlsh lL. 8eLLer yeL, help her flnlsh lL. ?ou'll be amazed how her
llbldo plcks up sLeam and you'll be pleased Lo see how fully presenL she ls whlle you're
maklng love. An undlsLracLed woman, glven Llme Lo rev up her sexual englne, wlll be
far more lnLo lL" Lhan a woman who feels pressured and duLy-bound Lo be ready Lo go
aL a momenL's noLlce.

7.8 '. 9&(:6 ;.,0 <=(>)*'?"#- @(A(-.>B
ln a perfecL world, you and your wlfe would have flawlessly maLched llbldos all
Lhe Llme-buL we boLh know LhaL's never golng Lo be Lhe case. ?ou can'L expecL Lo have
her sex drlve always maLch your own. 8uL lf you're feellng llke you're belng Lurned
down because she's goL a "headache" a llLLle more frequenLly Lhan you should be, l
wanL Lo offer some pracLlcal ldeas. AfLer all, perpeLual llbldo dlfferences can drlve a blg
wedge beLween a husband and wlfe. So for Lhe sake of your marrlage, as well as our sex
llfe, lL's essenLlal Lo keep LhaL Lo a mlnlmum. 1he followlng are proven suggesLlons for
puLLlng your Lwo sex-drlves ln Lhe same gear.

Let Go of the Myth
lL's Lrue - you flnd whaL you're looklng for. lf you wanL evldence Lo lndlcaLe LhaL
your wlfe doesn'L wanL sex as much as you do, you'll flnd plenLy of lL. 8uL lf you're
ready Lo equal Lhe scales of sexual deslre, you've goL Lo geL over Lhls common male
myLh by seelng her ln a new llghL. Cne of Lhe besL ways Lo do Lhls ls by puLLlng an end
Lo snlde commenLs or lnnuendos LhaL hlghllghL a percelved llbldo dlfference. Lvery Llme
you say someLhlng, even under your breaLh, llke, well lf we ever had sex .," you're
drlvlng a sexual wedge beLween you. 8y Lhe way, Lhls means noL only forgolng Lhese
commenLs wlLh her, buL when you're ouL wlLh Lhe boys as well. SeL your mlnd Lo seelng
your wlfe on Lhe same slde wlLh you. She wanLs Lo have a greaL sex llfe as much as you
do. And lf you don'L belleve me, [usL ask her.

Discuss Your Sex Drives
When was Lhe lasL Llme you Lalked wlLh your wlfe abouL her sex drlve? lL's noL a
common conversaLlon for mosL couples. ?eL lL's crlLlcally lmporLanL for geLLlng your
llbldos Lo llne up. When Lhe Llme ls rlghL, when boLh of you are relaLlvely relaxed and
noL dlsLracLed, ask her when she feels mosL frlsky? Per answer may surprlse you. l have
a frlend who Lold me he recenLly dlscovered LhaL hls wlfe found hlm mosL sexy when he
wore a sulL. Pe [oked abouL wearlng lL Lo bed. 1he polnL ls LhaL you need Lo know as
much as you can abouL her sexual deslres. Ask her abouL Lhe Llme of day, as well as Lhe
Llme of monLh, she ls mosL lncllned Lo wanL Lo have sex. Ask her whaL would make lL
easler or more fun for her.

!2+" K#*(*2(*&#3 923*"5
Cne of Lhe Lhlngs l hear from women who are ln couple's counsellng for Lhls
lssue ls LhaL Lhey don'L llke Lo be Lhe one lnlLlaLlng sex. Some women are slmply
uncomforLable wlLh saylng, Would you llke Lo make love?" lf you're marrled Lo a
woman llke Lhls, you've no doubL aLLrlbuLed her shyness ln Lhls area Lo a lack of llbldo.
8uL LhaL's a mlsLake. lnsLead, make lL easler for her Lo lnlLlaLe sex wlLh you. llnd a slgn
or a slgnal LhaL wlll make Lhls almosL efforLless for her. lor example, lL may be LhaL
Lhere's a candle she could llghL, or a parLlcular song she could play, or a look she could
glve LhaL would be her slgnal LhaL she'd llke Lo have sex. ?ou geL Lhe ldea. So don'L
wasLe Llme. 1alk Lo her abouL whaL could be used Lo make Lhe her lnlLlaLlons easler.

L2+" M&-5 L*="
LeL's say LhaL Lo really en[oy sex you'd need Lo be ln a parLlcular mood. ?ou'd
need Lo feel compleLely safe and undersLood by your wlfe - and Lhls would need Lo
begln long before you even LhoughL abouL [umplng lnLo bed. Ch, and Lo become
sexually aroused you'd need some warm up Llme LhaL mlghL begln wlLh several mlnuLes
of genLle caresslng lnLerspersed wlLh plllow Lalk. 1he llghLs would need Lo be low, you'd
need Lo conslder whaL you're wearlng, and you'd need some Llme Lo brush your LeeLh
and prepare yourself physlcally.
Pard Lo lmaglne, rlghL? 8uL l'm sure you're geLLlng Lhe polnL. lf you wanL your
wlfe Lo be more forLhcomlng wlLh her sexual deslres, you've goL Lo do your parL ln
helplng her love your love maklng sesslons. A llLLle empaLhy can go a long way ln
geLLlng you Lo slow lL down a blL and seL Lhe sLage for passlonaLe sex LhaL makes her feel
greaL.

7"%-," I*3(52,(*&#3
Cne of Lhe blggesL reasons LhaL Lhls myLh of unequal llbldos perslsLs ls because
men rarely glve conslderaLlon Lo whaL ls dlsLracLlng women from sex. AfLer all, mosL of
Lhe Llme, lL Lakes a loL Lo dlsLracL us from Lhe efforL! 1haL's why we need Lo Lake speclal
care ln dolng whaLever we can Lo keep dlsLracLlons for her Lo a mlnlmum. ?ou probably
already know whaL Lhey are, buL lf noL, ask your wlfe Lo Lell you.
lf you have chlldren, LhaL's lnevlLably golng Lo Lop Lhe llsL. So wlll any emoLlonal
or conversaLlonal loose ends beLween her and you or anyone else. She may be
dlsLracLed by Lomorrow's busy schedule, an upcomlng dlnner parLy, a docLor's
appolnLmenL, an unpald blll. ?ou name lL. So lf you wanL her llbldo Lo be rarlng Lo go
LonlghL, flrsL flnd ouL whaL mlghL be geLLlng ln lLs way and do whaL you can Lo remove lL.
8uL please don'L do Lhe Lyplcal macho move of flxlng" her problem so you can have sex.
1haL ls sure Lo backflre.
ay aLLenLlon Lo whaL dampens her sexual deslres by llsLenlng paLlenLly. 8lLe
your Longue lf you're abouL Lo spouL off a qulck soluLlon. Make sure she feels
undersLood. 1haL's all. ?ou'll be amazed aL how much your dolng noLhlng" can
lncrease her llbldo.

L&-,D @"5 E"")*#63 8"1&5" M&- L&-,D @"5 8&%0
lf you wanL Lo rev up your wlfe's sexual moLor, you'll need a hearL-felL message
Lo Lurn on her lgnlLlon. She's hardwlred Lo become sexually moLlvaLed when you
romance her, when you whlsper Lhose proverblal sweeL noLhlngs" ln her ear. lL doesn'L
Lake much. ?ou don'L need Lo compose a poem. ?ou slmply need Lo leL her know how
much she means Lo you. AnyLhlng endearlng wlll do. ?ou can say Lhlngs llke, ?ou mean
so much Lo me," or ?ou're Lhe besL parL of my day." Cf course, you have Lo be genulne
when you say Lhese Lhlngs. lf you're [usL maklng a move," forgeL lL. She'll read rlghL
Lhrough you . Lvery woman knows Lhe dlfference beLween manlpulaLlve come-ons and
hearL-felL sweeL noLhlngs.

@")N ?5&-#% (D" @&-3"
Ckay. l know. l can almosL see you crlnglng on Lhls one. l'm noL lnLendlng Lo
puL you on a gullL Lrlp lf you're already feellng llke your wlfe ls harangulng you for noL
dolng your falr share. 8uL leL me [usL sLaLe Lhe facLs from some recenL research- Lhen
you can deLermlne wheLher dolng a llLLle dusLlng ls worLh lncreaslng her llbldo. A
unlverslLy of WashlngLon sLudy found LhaL men who help wlLh Lhe housework have
more acLlve sex llves wlLh Lhelr wlves Lhan Lhelr dlshLowel-shunnlng breLhren.
lll
1haL
was Lhe boLLom llne of Lhls scholarly sLudy. need more lncenLlve? A 2003 unlverslLy of
Callfornla sLudy found LhaL women are noL only more sexually recepLlve Lo men who
help clean up aL home, Lhey're acLually more physlcally aLLracLed Lo Lhem.
lv
So you
declde.

L-#" K#(& @"5 @&5=&#"3
l menLloned CxyLocln, Lhe bondlng hormone," earller. lL's whaL helps your wlfe
geL ln Lhe mood" and lL lncreases before she ovulaLes. Well, you don'L have Lo be a
blologlsL Lo know LhaL Lhls occurs every LhlrLy days. So make noLe of lL. ?ou don'L have
Lo Lell her lf you don'L wanL Lo, buL you can cerLalnly dlscuss lL LogeLher. Why noL make
a daLe of lL? Also, on Lhe Loplc of hormones, dld you reallze LhaL as men and women
age, our LesLosLerone levels drop? ln facL, Lhe decrease ln LesLosLerone ls slower ln
women. B& 4D2(O, you're asklng. Well, Lhls gradual decrease can cause women Lo
deslre sex more ofLen Lhan men Lhelr own age. 1haL's one of Lhe reasons LhaL women
reach Lhelr sexual prlme much laLer Lhan men do. And LhaL's noL a bad Lhlng.
8y Lhe way, lL should be noLed LhaL ln some cases, your wlfe's lack of deslre for
sex, especlally lf lL ls conslsLenL over long perlods of Llme, may also be a resulL of a
hormonal lmbalance. lf you and she suspecL LhaL Lhls ls Lhe case, she should consulL wlLh
her gynecologlsL abouL Lhls posslblllLy, or geL experL lnpuL from an endocrlnologlsL.
8elng ln balance hormonally -- especlally havlng ample LesLosLerone ln her body -- may
klck her sex drlve back lnLo gear.



C.0 D#E&#?'(.6

WhaL psychologlcal beneflLs do we galn by bellevlng LhaL we wanL sex more Lhan
women? Why do we propel Lhls myLh?
1he nexL Llme you hear a frlend purporLlng LhaL women don'L wanL sex as much
as men, are you llkely Lo correcL hlm? lf so, how? lf noL, why?
lrom Lhe suggesLlons glven ln Lhls chapLer, whlch one do you flnd mosL meanlngful and
why? ln oLher words, whlch one are you mosL llkely Lo puL lnLo pracLlces flrsL?

l
"SLandard uevlaLlon," Lverybody Loves 8aymond (Season 1, ulsc 1).
ll
AnlLa P. ClayLon (2003). Women's menLal healLh. sychlaLrlc Cllnlcs of norLh Amerlca, 26 (3), 132-148.
lll
!. 8rlnes (1994). Lconomlc dependency, gender and Lhe dlvlslon of labor aL home. 1he
Amerlcan !ournal of Soclology, 199 (3), pp. 632-688.
lv
See also, u. M. 8uss and 1. k. Shackelford (2001). A half cenLryk fo maLe preferences: Lhe CulLural
evoluLlon of values. !ournal of Marrlage and lamlly, 63 (2), 491-303.