THE WELFARE GUIDE TO

OXFORD
Hello everyone!
So, Autumn is drawing near, and Im sure youre all
very excited about coming up to College in October.
Of course, youll all be very busy in the next few
weeks, but in between episodes of Brideshead
Revisited and Morse, try to find some time to flip
through this friendly guide to Oxford.
There are so many absolutely
beautiful places to go, but it takes a whole lot of exploring
before you even stumble across half of them - some of the best
spots are hidden away, which only makes them better, really.
Anyway, in the next couple of pages, Ill try to give
you a brief overview of some of the loveliest walks,
picnic areas, cafes, theatres, museums... everything,
really, in the hope that youll really get the best out of
your first year at Merton.
Oxford is a wonderful and (more
often than not) fantastically crazy city to live in, and
theres never a shortage of things to do or places to go.
Come October, youll all hopefully start discovering your
own favourite things in Oxford, but until then, here are a
few of mine. :)
Kess x
2
Merton College from the Chapel roof
Christ Church Meadows
The University Parks at Dusk
Out on the Merton punts
CONTENTS CONTENTS
Walks & Picnic Spots 4
Cafes & Restaurants 7
Cinemas, Theatres etc. 10
Museums 12
Practical Stuff (still not boring,
promise!)
14
3
Oxford from the South.
(Thats Merton, front and centre)
The Rad Cam
(Radcliffe Camera, part of the Bodleian
Library)
The great outdoors
Im not going to promise fantastic weather all the time, because lets face it, this is England. But,
that being said, dont let a bit of rain spoil your fun. Oxford is a seriously beautiful place, and,
despite being a city, is surrounded by fantastic countryside, not to mention all the parks, fields and
walks within a ten minute walking distance from College. And theyre especially fun in the snow!
Christ Church Meadows
Ive put this first because it was the first place I
discovered, and its lovely. Also, its right next to
College. Were talking, walk out of the gate and
youre there, sort of thing, which is great if you
suddenly feel the need to get out of the city and go
for a wander. The squirrels are pretty friendly, and
you can even take that forgotten bread from the back
of your cupboard and go and feed the ducks. Steer
clear of the geese though - apparently they prefer the taste of human flesh to bakery products.
Also there are big hairy Scottish cows. And deer. And the occasional rowing team. So yeah,
livestock galore. Plus, Im fairly sure Turner painted it, which pretty much guarantees its status as
one of the loveliest places in Oxford, and, hey, its right on your doorstep! :)
Magdalen Fellows Garden
Dont get the wrong impression from
these names, by the way. Merton is by far
the most beautiful college, and the oldest,
and also of course the best, but putting all
about Merton in here would be pointless,
because youre going to be living there -
you hardly need my prodding to discover
4
it. So these are the places you might overlook. This one in particular
is really hard to find. Or at least, it was for us. After months of
staring at it longingly as we crossed Magdalen Bridge, we finally
managed to actually get to it (its an island) in Trinity term. Eventually
we figured out that just wandering into Magdalen College and
heading for the huge croquet lawn took us to the bridge across to it.
Incidentally, its also where they shot a lot of Brideshead Revisited.
Its a fantastic place for punting, too - you can rent the punts out,
bring along the chapmagne and strawberries and feel like a
living cliche. I can recommend it - its great fun. This is
definitely one to check out. Its probably my favourite place
in Oxford.
University Parks
Theyre a fair walk away, by Oxford standards, which
means theyre not really far at all. Ten, maybe fifteen
minutes across town (straight up past Magdalen and
then follow the road right the way round) and youve
got 70 acres of prime picnic area, make-shift football
pitches and/or spontaneous games of hide & seek. We
spent most of Trinity here - its gorgeous.
5
Your LGBTQ Rep trying
his hand at punting
The Merton Punting River
Yes, I know thats not what its really called, but thats
essentially what it is. Sadly, you can only rent the
Merton punts out in Trinity, but its definitely worth the
wait. A ten minute walk up to St. Cats and one
vicarious clamber into a punt later, and you can barely
believe youre in the city. There are fields and willow
trees and its absolutely story-book beautiful.
And hey, itll be Trinity - take a bikini or trunks
and go for a swim. The waters not exactly
crystal, but its Uni. If youre not going to jump
in a freezing cold, dirty river now, then when are
you going to? Besides, its an experience, and
it makes for a good story. (which, lets face it, is
the main reason for most things which happen in
these essential and formative years)
Magdalen Meadows
Again, somewhere that took us ages to actually find. Theyre
right across Magdalen Bridge (next to College) but you have to
wander down to a car park just past Sainsburys to actually
get to them. Perfect spot for a picnic (because theyre about
five minutes away, and you have to pass a supermarket to get
to them, so theres great opportunity to pick up food on the
way) or for kicking a
ball around.
Right, well, thats all for outdoors-y destinations. On to a
students first priority - food!
6
Food
Now, Oxford is a student town, so of course it has its fair share of hipster-y hangouts. If thats
what floats your boat, then just look out for the signature bearded teenagers huddled in the corner
with their Fairtrade lemon grass tea, reading Whitman through thick-rimmed glasses, and Bobs
your Uncle. If, however, youd rather avoid the atmosphere of profound depth and intellect which
such places emit, then there are also quite a few other cafes, delis and restaurants which are happy
to sell you anything from a chocolate chip cookie to home-made lasagne, and not a plaid scarf in
sight.
QL Cafe
This cafe is our weekly haunt. (Seriously. Were so well-
known there that we have our own table.) The foods pretty
good, and not too expensive, and they have a nice range of
stuff. You can go there for anything from a panini to a
chicken fillet and chips, so its great for a grab-and-run or a proper sit down meal. Plus, its right
opposite college, on the High St., which makes it handy for grabbing a last minute bite to eat when
youre already ten minutes late to lectures. It also serves
the most enormous chocolate chip cookies in the world, and
the fresh orange juice is amazing. The QL Deli (picture to
the left) is great as well, because they do cheap, hot food,
quickly; and if you drop by after 7, everythings half price.
The staff are lovely, and the food is always good, so its a
pretty safe bet. And theyre wonderful for comfort food.
Giant chocolate muffin anyone?
Olives
Having only actually discovered Olives (on the High) in Trinity, Im probably not the expert, but I
have since become addicted to their feta cheese ciabattas, so Im fairly well-qualified, at least.
Theyre essentially a sandwich shop, but all their fillings are lovely, and they sell fantastic fresh
7
Mediterranean food both to go on the panini/ciabatta/
bread roll that youre ordering, and/or in packets around
the shop. They also have BNs, which I havent seen
since I was about 10 (when I used to eat them
everyday... :( Its probably a good job they disappeared
for ten years) which means I cant walk into the Deli
without hearing that stupid song. Anyway, this place is
fantastic, and probably the most popular sandwich shop
in Oxford, for good reason. But if youre going for lunch,
go early. Seriously early. And theyre not open very late, so just take early as a general rule. And
hey, you know what they say - the early fresher catches the deliciously fresh, melt-in-your-mouth
European Olives panini. Actually maybe thats not how it goes. That is kind of a mouthful.
Turl Street Kitchen
Ah, Turl Street Kitchen, haunt of only the coolest of undergrads. As
the name suggests, its on Turl Street (just off High, next to Lincoln.
You cant miss it.) and, I am sad to admit, comes dangerously close
to what I earlier identified as Hipster Territory. But its still great.
They sell weird food combinations (venison sausage roll being
particularly popular), and their rooms are called things like The
Library and Lounge, and you wont see a branded product within a
mile of the place. Most people tend to use it as a coffee shop to hang
out in between classes, but
they do sell proper food as
well, only they have fixed meal times and menus and stuff,
which is fun. I cant really account for their food or pricing,
as Ive never actually eaten there, but Im sure its pretty
reasonable, being that it prides itself on being the no. 1
student hang-out in Oxford. Youll have to decide the truth
of this for yourself, but give it a shot - its quirky.
8
The Rendezvous Cafe
This place is wonderful. Their food is utterly fantastic,
everyones really friendly, and I had the best cheesecake of
my life at the small table at the back. If you need a pick-me-
up, go here. If you want some yummy, good quality, organic
food, go here. If you are starving but too lazy to walk
anywhere, still go here - its about a minute away. (see the red building on the left? Two buildings
further down is Rose Lane, and thus Merton. I love being so well-situated ^.^) Their crepes
(sweet and savoury) are particularly popular, and they have a nice range of food, so whatever you
fancy, theyve probably got some variation thereof. Long summary short, I love this place. Its a
little more expensive than your standard cafe, but a little nicer, too. So maybe its a treat yourself
place, or somewhere to take your folks when they come to visit. But if you want the edible
equivalent of a hug, go here. Im having withdrawal symptoms from their desserts as I type...
G&Ds
Oh, G&Ds... What can I say? The Oxford Undergrads
kryptonite. Their ice cream is the best on the planet. And even if
its not, the whole atmosphere is so fun that you wont notice.
There are three G&Ds in Oxford (youll meet at least two of
them in Freshers Week) and theyre all constantly full of ice-
cream eating first years, discussing their lecturers personal lives
over melting banana splits and giant chocolate waffles. It was
founded by a couple of Oxford students in the 90s, and has been popular ever since. This will
become part of your staple Uni diet, Im afraid to say. Thankfully they sell proper food too, and
tons of bakery products, so even if you hate ice cream (what is wrong with you?!) youll be fine.
Ignore the Daily Mails emergency archive of bicycle riding professors and gown clad posh kids on
punts. Those arent Oxford cliches, G&Ds is an Oxford cliche, and you should take to it like a
Merton punt to the Cherwell.
As Im beginning to come across as a perpetually optimistic pudding fiend, I think that Ill bring this
section to an end. Remember to check out the Entz guide for more info, other restaurants & cafes
and alternative reviews. Theyre less dessert oriented, promise.
9
Show time
Like all good cities, Oxford has its fair share of cinemas, theatres and other entertaining things. Ill
leave it to the Entz to clue you in on clubs etc. (this is a welfare guide after all) but there are a
couple of places that are fantastic if you want a fun night out, and that are perhaps lesser known.
Magdalen Film Society
Magdalen Film Soc puts out a list of films at the start of every
term, and then shows them at their private little theatre every
week. They have a fantastic mix - everything from classics like
Its a Wonderful Life (1946) to brand new films just released.
Plus, (which is a massive bonus in
Winter) its right across the road. In Trinity they show an outside
film in one of their quads, which is fabulous. Everyone squashes
up with blankets and hot chocolate, and the atmosphere is really
something. This year they showed Woody Allens Midnight in
Paris, and there was a full moon, and it didnt even rain.
The Ultimate Picture Palace
The Ultimate Picture Palace is this fabulous tiny little cinema about fifteen minutes from the town
centre. Its about the furthest from a chain cinema you can get today. The tickets they sell at the
Box Office are just old raffle tickets, and the whole place is all old and crumbly and brilliant. They
have velvet walls. Red velvet walls. And I dont think theyve
even heard of popcorn. We went to see The Artist here last
year, and it was just the perfect place. Theres only one
screen, and not that many seats, which means theres a
lovely community feel with the audience. And where else are
you going to get to see old films on the big screen? (Apart
from Magdalen, of course... Lucky freshers, spoilt for choice.)
10
New Theatre
Lets face it, for exciting evenings out, not much can beat the
theatre. Alright, maybe Hairspray isnt everyones cup of tea,
but theres just something about the atmosphere and the
staging and the lights that always makes me feel a bit like a kid
at Christmas.
As far as theatres go, this ones pretty awesome. All the big
touring musicals come here, and there are always plenty of
comedians to choose from, if you prefer Michael McIntyre to
the Sound of Music. This Autumn theyre playing Rufus
Wainwright, a couple of operas and Kevin Bridges, among other
things, so take advantage of all the culture Oxford has on offer.
Outdoor Summer Productions
Summer in Oxford is probably going to be the best Summer
youve ever had. Theres so much to do1 If, after a long day
of punting, picnicking, playing croquet, (and maybe doing
some work...) you find yourself in search of entertainment,
you wont have to look far. There are outdoor productions
on everywhere - at the castle, (Nope, I didnt know Oxford had a castle either. Its near the train
station.) in the park, in pretty much every college... And theyre all University run. Youll know at
least one drama star, I should think, so chances are youll end up going along to support them
anyway. Do go to at least one - theyre such good fun, and its also a great excuse for some
sunbathing.
Obviously there are tons of other theatres and
cinemas in Oxford, and again, check the Entz
Guide for a more comprehensive list. These are
just my favourites. Anyway, on to Museums.
(Were Oxford students, Im morally obliged to
put a Musuem sections.)
11
Yeah, Im *that* girl. The one who spends the next few pages waxing lyrical about museums. :( This
is what Oxford does to you, young, innocent Freshers. Be warned.
Lets face it, were the bright future of life, the Universe and everything. Its practically part of our
degree to spend half our spare time in Museums. And Oxford has one for every subject. Not that
youre confined to your subjects museum or anything, (I even ventured into the Maths one once... it
was a strange and enlightening experience.) but its nice to go wander round on a Saturday
afternoon and feel like technically youre working. But in a very relaxed way. :)
Anyway, here are a few of my favourites. I shant list all of them, because wed be here till October.
The Pitt Rivers Museum
I love this place. Its a museum of anthropology and archeology,
and very quirky. The back room is what makes the museum. Its
this crazy jumbled place (see picture) which theyve arranged
(unlike most museums) thematically rather than chronologically, so
youve got cases of musical instruments, or boats, or jewellery,
from different times and places, the idea being that you can see
how theyve developed. They also have a case of shrunken heads.
There are over 500,000 objects in this place, and, if you
somehow get bored of looking at them, theres also something called The Mouse Trail (if youre a
Mathematician, your tutor may ask you to do this as a team building exercise. Its an excuse to be
a five year old for a day - do it.) where you have to run around the museum looking for tiny wooden
mice which are hidden in all the exhibits. Im sure some kind of drinking game could be (and has
been) made of it.

The Ashmolean
This is Oxfords most famous (and, I think, biggest) museum, and it has like a billion floors. If youre
a linguist your lectures are right next door, (at the Taylorian Institute, just a bit further up
Cornmarket.) so youve no excuse not to go and have a look. They have loads of archeological stuff
12
Museums are cool
(from like every era and civilisation) and some really
fabulous art - theyve got a Pre-Raphaelite
exhibition on a the moment, which is always fun.
(For those who dont know, the Pre-Raphaelites
were a somewhat scandalous Victorian brotherhood
of painters who were always having affairs and
painting their patrons wives naked.)
If they offer you a museum map, by the way, take it.
Its like Hogwarts. Im fairly certain the staircases move.
The Bodleian Library
Yes, okay, I know this isnt technically a musuem. But the Bod are always putting on the most
fantastic exhibitions, because, I mean, they pretty much own everything. Last term they had the
Room full of Awesome exhibition (thats probably not its official name, granted, but its a fair
description) which was basically: Look, we own a Shakespeare
First Folio, a couple of Beethovens manuscripts, the distress
wire which was sent from the Titanic and an unpublished
Austen novel. Also a bunch of other amazing stuff. So yeah,
its worth a look. Theyve got a Dickens exhibition coming up,
for all you English students.
And yes, before you ask, that is the hospital wing from Harry
Potter. Its a pretty nice place to have a lecture.
The Oxford Museum of Natural History
Okay, scratch what I said about the Ashmolean being big. This is colossal. And it has everything. I
mean, they have a Dodo. An actual Dodo. Obviously its dead, but still. They have tons of stuffed
animals, if thats your kind of thing, and they have
Charles Darwins actual collection of crustaceans.
Crustaceans are fairly dull, but the face that Darwin
owned them is pretty cool. As well as Zoology, they have
Entomology, Geology, and Mineralogy & Petrology
collections, which are so big that their website alone
takes about half a day to navigate. I know very little
13
about Nat. History, (and what I do know I gained from watching David Attenborough programmes
and/or The Lion King) so I cant really go on about all the amazing stuff they have, but they do
have some Oxford dinosaur skeletons (actual dinosaurs used to live in
Oxford. I mean, imagine how much more interesting that would make
lectures!) and some very very very old fossils.
Anyway, this place is right next to the Pitt Rivers Museum, which is
handy - why not kill two dodos with one stone, eh?
Righto, thats the end of the Museums section. Its probably safe to look again now. The next bit is
just a little group of handy places to know if you need something quickly, and itll probably be of
way more use to you than a list of museums.
14
A typical Merton BOP
Welcome to Oxford...
A very Oxford Christmas
The Merton Morris dancing troupe
On the way to Matriculation
So, in my prime role as Welfare Rep, I am introducing you to some places
which will improve your welfare. Sainsburys, for example. I mean, I dont
know about you, but I find chocolate a major component of general
welfare, and having a mini supermarket right round the corner has often
saved me at the last minute from dropping dramatically and suddenly into
what we Welfare Folk call a Bad Mood. Anyway, this is a list of places
youll probably become very familiar with over the next year. Enjoy!
Sainsburys
There are a couple of these around Oxford - a fairly large-ish one in the Westgate Centre, (down
High Street and keep walking straight) one right next to the massive Tesco on Cornmarket, and the
uber-convenient one just across Magdalen Bridge. (to the right of College, just out of Rose Lane)
For those of you who live out of the UK, Sainsburys is a supermarket, probably a little more
expensive than Tesco, and a bit smaller. But the convenience of having one right next door is
amazing.
Tesco
Again, there are a couple of these - a tiny one down near Christ Church, good for sandwiches/last
minute meals/re-stocking the mini-fridge etc. and a pretty big one (probably the biggest
supermarket in Oxford - it has two floors!) just further on from Cornmarket Street. (The main
shopping street in Oxford. Youll probably remember it from Christmas shopping during interviews.)
The big one has pretty much everything, and is only a fifteen minute walk or so. Its also worth
remembering that they deliver, and yep, they even squash those giant lorries down Merton Street.
Its pretty fun watching them try to reverse out again. Apparently cobbles and lorries do not get on.
Celebrations Fancy Dress Shop
Ive put this in the practical section because you will probably end up going here at least once a
term, for BOP costumes. What generally happens is a ton of Merton students pile in, wander
round, express shock and horror at the high prices and then resolve to fashion their own creative
15
Helpful stuff
but cheap costumes, and plod off down the road to
Primark. Still, its probably worth mentioning. Theres
also a fancy dress shop in the Westgate Centre, very
close to Primark, so if that great staple of British
fashion should fail you, you always have a back-up.
Primark
Well, it had to be done. Youre a student: theres very
little likelihood that youll be going anywhere more
upmarket. Anyway, for all your fashion and last-minute
BOP costume needs, head to the Westgate Centre
(pretty sure I put directions in earlier. If you missed
them, then stop skim reading and focus) and bask in
the giant onesie-filled Primark which is at your
disposal. It will be crowded, confusingly laid out, and full
of angry people. A true student experience.
Alas, the end is nigh. I hope you have enjoyed this guide (you should, it took me ages to
write) and that its made you all the more eager to come up in October. We look forward to
having you. :) Until then, be good, and have a fabulous Summer!

Merton Welfare x
16
Primark Onesies are the
height of fashion at Merton
(We have kind of a happy cop/unimpressed cop
Welfare Technique)